Baby Teeth, $10 OBO

May 23rd, 2013 · 4 comments

“No, she didn’t lose three teeth in one day,” says Jenny in Texas, regarding her 7-year-old daughter, Zelda. “She was just hoping to graduate from $1 per tooth to $10 based on experience. (But she’s totally negotiable if that’s not cool with you, Tooth Fairy.)”

Dear Tooth Fairy, I have lost 3 baby teeth. Can I have 10 1 dollar bills, please. Love, Zelda! P.S. I am negotiable

related: Possibly the Best Tooth Fairy letter of all time

→ 4 CommentsFILED UNDER: kids · money


Happily ever after

May 22nd, 2013 · 37 comments

Loree in Texas found this crumpled Post-it note in her front yard. “Why the husband threw this gem away boggles the mind, but I am so glad it ended up where it did.”

Passed out twice in one week. Wow. At least you're not in underwear and socks this time —Your Proud Wife

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

→ 37 CommentsFILED UNDER: drizzunk · love & marriage · Texas


Hey, Dumbo

May 21st, 2013 · 46 comments

As it turns out, a surprisingly large number of American apartment buildings are pachyderm-friendly. (It’s the owners that are the problem, of course.)

Shh! Please walk your elephant quietly!

Dear neighbor, Do you look like this? If not then please stop jumping around. Sincerely, Person Below You

Please clean up after your elephant!

Dear Beach Girl, The elephant you're training keeps sitting on my Jetta. Also, your nunchuck stance is distracting passing motorists. Regards, Wilson

related: How now, Mad Cow?

→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: neighbors · noise · shit


For heaven’s sake, Steve

May 20th, 2013 · 26 comments

Spotted by Leonora in the window of a London office:

STOP SPITTING ON THE WINDOWS STEVE

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss — and absolutely NO LICKING

→ 26 CommentsFILED UNDER: London · spitting