let me stop you right there. before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by angie in seattle?

or this one, as seen by meghann outside a bar in san francisco?

well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by jessie at a sandwich shop in charlottesville, virginia:

related: listing in now magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. revenge?

writes stephanie in lubbock, texas: “one day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trashcans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. there’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”

meanwhile, our submitter in pennsylvania explains: “there are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”

adds our submitter: “oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. i have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”

related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!

a message from your friendly fast food worker, corey in mount pleasant, michigan: “sometimes, food service customers do not fully appreciate the people/work that goes into making their orders. it’s thought that spitting in someone’s sandwich is routine, but we often find the secret messages to be more satisfying.”

related: this is why your server is cranky

writes justin in iowa: “this was written by a coworker of mine last winter, and covers three sides of the tissue box. the tissues are long gone, but the box was apparently worth saving, and remains on the desk five months later.”

the full text: I had a cold/cough & I decided to buy some Puffs kleenex w/ lotion. Believe it or not, they’re not cheap so I’m not sharing. But hey, they still have some at the store so you could always go buy your own you know. Seriously, only because these are a little costly I’m not sharing, otherwise, you’d be all good. But again, they’re not CHEAP! How would you feel if I used up all of your “whatever”? B/c my last box… OMG! got used up so fast & it wasn’t even by me! I was so hot about it, and I know you can afford it b/c I can. I know you’re not broke b/c you work the same place I do, am I right or am I right?

related: suck on this

as always, facebook users are keepin’ it classy.

related: tant pis, mon amie

writes amy in canada: “part of my job (as a civilian employed by the canadian armed forces) is to install or repair network services out to remote areas of our training area. here are a few of the notes i saw while puttering around with my cabling and switches.”

happy (very) belated canada day!

related: (don’t?) wash your ass in the sink

writes katrina in illinois: “i work in furniture, and due to the economy/the real estate crash, the company has been struggling and a lot of employees have been making a lot less money.  this little morale booster was found on the break room bulletin board — right beside the letter notifying us that the company was no longer matching 401(k) contributions.”

related: “that’s what she said”

writes our anonymous submitter: “this was sent to my 6-year-old step daughter by her grandma. the birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 american. we live in canada.”

(the “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that i cannot even handle it. bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)

meanwhile, toni spotted this grandma’s thank you note on a closed booth at a flea market in lakewood, ohio.

related: but…but…i didn’t forget!