Bees?

March 27th, 2015 · 44 comments

Says our submitter in Melbourne: “This one is just classic — even the mistakes are soooo typical!”

Dear Plant Theif, [sic] you may like to know that the plants in this garden are protected by a special flock of bees who will hunt down the nector [sic] of their stolen flowers, who will feed on your bits until they are returned to the garden.

related: The Orchid Thief

→ 44 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · i before e · Melbourne · not-so-veiled threats


Playing chicken

March 23rd, 2015 · 73 comments

So, this is what happens in Jacksonville, Florida when one neighbor accuses another of harboring illegal backyard fowl:

NO!!! WE DON'T HAVE CHICKENS OR ROOSTERS!

inappropriate hashtag

related: Cock fight!

extra credit: On the backyard chicken trend [npr.org]

→ 73 CommentsFILED UNDER: #inappropriatehashtag · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jacksonville · Oops?


No food, no farts, no drama

March 13th, 2015 · 55 comments

Spotted by Heather in P-town, Mass:

If you are crazy, stay out!

related: The snotty video store clerk lives!

→ 55 CommentsFILED UNDER: retail hell · tourists


Yup, sounds like a cat.

March 8th, 2015 · 64 comments

Writes our submitter in Montreal: “I’m fortunate to live upstairs from my mom, who cleans my apartment when I’m busy with projects.” Recently, however, mom declared a litter-box boycott, as she explains in the note below.

This cat is not a cat. It's a pig. I witnessed with my very own eyes her flinging a piece of shit outside the litter box. Believe me, it was no accident. That's just a bad habit that you let her get away with. Can't don't do that. Or you clean it.

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

extra credit: reddit.com/r/catsareassholes

→ 64 CommentsFILED UNDER: cats · shit


Well, that’s legitimately creepy.

March 3rd, 2015 · 47 comments

I don’t typically like to post notes submitted by the person who left them, but I made an exception for this note by Geoff in New Zealand.

Writes Geoff:  ”Someone actually threw out my lunch (still in its container) within an hour of putting it in the fridge at work. It was a really nice lunch., too. I thought someone had stolen it, then, for some reason I looked in the garbage can…it was covered in coffee grounds and snotty looking tissues. I was mad. Next day I brought lunch again. I wanted to be sure no one would even think of doing it again so I wrote the note, photographed it so my picture would accompany the note, and wrapped it around my lunch with elastic bands. No one has ever thrown my lunch out again.”

This is my lunch for thursday December 17. If you throw it out, I will destroy you. That is all.

related: With some fava beans and a nice Chianti

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: kinda creepy · New Zealand · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing


Parking spots in Boston? It’s snow joking matter.

February 24th, 2015 · 150 comments

This year, one Boston neighborhood tried to ban the time-honored practice of using space-savers to reserve a parking spot after shoveling it. But old habits die hard…and somewhat violently.

When it comes to space-saving, says our submitter from Boston, “I get it. I respect it!” But after two of her own “space savers” were stolen, she figured the rules were off. One night, she says, “As I was looking for open parking , I pulled into an unclaimed space, thinking, what luck! No chair in sight!” Too good to be true, it turns out. When she returned to her car, she found this. (Thoughtfully kept dry in a plastic bag, I assume.)

You must be new to Boston or just a complete cock sucker because a chair in the space means I worked my ass off shoveling for hours. You're lucky I'm nice, most people would key your car.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Boston…

related: Shoveling and sniveling

extra credit: The social ethics of parking spot savers [wbur.org]

→ 150 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · parking · snow