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Candy CRUSHED

July 24th, 2015 · 28 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Michigan: “Yesterday, one of our salespeople was observed playing Angry Birds on her phone – with her headphones on to hear the game sounds. Today, this sign showed up  in the sales office.”

Angry Birds tournament today. High score wins a permanent vacation. Good luck!

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→ 28 CommentsFILED UNDER: fired · office · sarcasm


Be the ____ you want to see in the world.

July 15th, 2015 · 76 comments

Frani’s roommate likes to leave inspirational messages on the fridge. (Apparently what she’s inspired was another roomie’s less-than-dazzling wit.)

If I take time out of my day to put an inspirational quote up here for you guys, I expect you to not write penis on it. kthanks.

Be the ____ you want to see in the world.

related: Are you inspired yet?

 

→ 76 CommentsFILED UNDER: roommates · whiteboard


Twiney Sod, the demon gardener of Fleet Street

July 10th, 2015 · 29 comments

As Sondheim said, there’s no place like London  (“filled with people who are filled with shit”) — and, not coincidentally, the home of this sign.

WARNING! A phantom twine cutter about. Yikes! An individual whom we can only describe as terribly sneaky, strange and quite possibly bored – has unfortunately decided to cut a bit of old green twine which was carefully holding up some droopy planting in our front garden :( alone the boundary fence. Surely something so simple and unoffensive (fence .. geddit ?!) shouldn't cause such a petty yet somewhat aggressive act to occur ?! You might yet even call it 'VANDALISM' ?? Yes. That's right! So, please keep a look out for the twiney snipper and keep loving your plants. STAY SAFE THIS PERSON MAY USE SCISSORS.

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→ 29 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · London · TL;DR · warning


Don’t save the date for us

July 2nd, 2015 · 47 comments

Jamie and her now-husband received this puzzling reply to a save-the-date card sent to his mother’s sister. Says Jamie: “We’re still not sure of the reason for the upset.” (Perhaps a bad experience with a Christmas newsletter?)

Logan, I don't know how you got my address but please pass the word on. We're not interested if people live or die, get married or have a kid. So don't send us further information or anything ever again.  Donis & Family

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→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · way harsh · weddings and bridezillas


…and don’t let the door hit you on your way out!

June 25th, 2015 · 99 comments

Writes out submitter, Erica: “I work in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, in a building comprised of a variety of offices and studios (fashion brands, art galleries, recording studios, artists, etc.) I find this note exceptionally funny, because in the three years I’ve worked in this building I’ve experienced the exact same rude, pompous behavior.”

...and don't let the door hit you on your way out!

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→ 99 CommentsFILED UNDER: etiquette · New York · office


This little junk mail punk

June 20th, 2015 · 51 comments

My first thought after reading this note: “Hmm, I’m not sure what being a “wannabe hipster” has to do with not picking up your mail.”

Then I read our submitter’s (unapologetic) explanation: “My neighbor left this taped to the mailbox in the lobby due to my tendency to leave coupons that are mailed to me on a small table under our mailboxes.”  The connection: Both can be really fucking obnoxious!

Dear hipster wannabe in apt 5, The lobby is not your personal trash can. Be responsible and throw your junk mail away...in your own trash can. Do you realize that someone has to clean up after you, each and every time you decide to be lazy? Be a responsible adult and clean up after yourself. If you'd like to talk about this more, I'm in apt 3, and I'd love to have a 'sit down' with you. Please stop being inconsiderate and pick up ALL your mail. Thank you. Zach, Apt. 3

related: This is why people hate millennials.

→ 51 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · going postal · grow up · Illinois · neighbors