Entries from May 2007

Cross-country elevator action

May 31st, 2007 · 26 Comments

One of these notes is from Los Angeles; one is from Lexington, Kentucky. Can you guess which is which?

If you are going to shoot Porn in the elevator — Please clean up after you are done!

Please do not spit in the elevator

(Thanks to Eve in Kentucky and Natalie in L.A. for submitting.)

Tags: California · elevator · Kentucky · Lexington · Los Angeles · office · sex sex sex

This means you!!!

May 31st, 2007 · 16 Comments

From Amy in Ocean Pines, Maryland, who explains: “I have had a problem with the people I live with (namely my husband and sister) who do not understand the concept that a dryer full of lint is a fire hazard [!!!]”

Clean the filter before starting dryer! I am sick of telling people!

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · family · Maryland

Who’s the smartass?

May 31st, 2007 · 23 Comments

From Lindsay in Burbank:

Who's the asshole?

Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”

And from Jason in New Haven:

PLEASE DO NOT PUT MILK CARTONS ON REFRIGERATOR DOOR

(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)

If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.

Tags: Burbank · California · Connecticut · food · milk · New Haven · office · office fridge · rebuttals · smartass · stealing

Switch to tea

May 31st, 2007 · 9 Comments

This note is like the teenager who manages to contain themselves long enough to grudgingly recite a lengthy mandated apology, but then can’t resist turning around and giving the finger afterwards…or the perky flight attendant who finally cracks when the drunk fat guy hits the call button again at the end of a long flight. Mmm, feel the repressed rage!

Coffee Etiquette: Please be courteous to your fellow employees. If you drain a pot or leave very little left, make a new pot. Don't simply turn off the burner and walk away. If there is less than a full pot between the 2, pour one into another and make a fresh pot. It only takes 30 seconds to put the coffee into a filter and push a button. If that is too difficult, maybe you should switch to tea.

(Thanks to Jenn in Hudson, Ohio for submitting!)

RELATED:

Rage against the coffee machine

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · coffee · etiquette · office · Ohio

passive perfectionism

May 31st, 2007 · 12 Comments

Setting the bar high (as spotted by Corey in Winnipeg.)

Be sure to leave the bathroom/toilet pristine after use. Thank you.

UPDATE: A copy cat’s on the loose!

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

Tags: bathroom · Canada · office · toilet · Winnipeg

Visual aids always help

May 30th, 2007 · 18 Comments

From Lars in San Francisco.

Please get yourself a pair of slippers so the person downstairs from you could get some sleep. Try to lift the chair, not dragging it.

Tags: neighbors · noise · San Francisco · sleeping · visual aids

Boston: a place for friends

May 30th, 2007 · 39 Comments

In her defense, Eeka says there were three to four empty spaces available in front of her house when this note was left — two of which she shoveled out herself.

YOUR [sic] PARKED IN MYSPACE!

Tags: Boston · excessive underlining · parking · spelling and grammar police · your/you're

Passive-aggressive linkage

May 30th, 2007 · 6 Comments

mcsweeneys.jpg

If you liked “Paul Gauguin, Passive-Aggressive Artist,” you might enjoy “Passive-aggressive Vegan Grocery Cashier: A Day in the Life,” from the McSweeney’s archives…or any of the “Open letters to people or entities who are unlikely to respond.”

Or you might not. Perhaps you’re a member of the millennial generation! in that case, you might prefer something a bit more “multimedia.”

Tags: fiction · tangent time

Yeah, I got fired…but that Hot Pocket sure was worth it.

May 30th, 2007 · 14 Comments

This exercise in redundancy is brought to us by Erika in Los Angeles. It’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.

REMEMBER!

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · excessive underlining · food · guilt trip · high on highlighter · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Killing you with cuteness

May 30th, 2007 · 25 Comments

Michele in Jasper, Indiana says she doesn’t actually expect to see her digital camera again, “but I at least wanted to inflict some guilt on the person who took it.”

If you are the person who stole my digital camera, I hope you enjoy the pictures of my little girl; her name is Ella. Also, you left the USB cable - you're going to need it.

Tags: guilt trip · Indiana · office · stealing