A single unit

May 12th, 2007 · 34 comments

At first glace, this notice  — from an auto shop somewhere between New York and Atlantic City — doesn’t seem to fit the criteria for a passive-aggressive note (observe the absence of faux niceties like “please” or “thanks!!!”), but the pseudo-helpful clarification (“this means pants + shirts as a single unit…”) helps inch it just over the line.

To all employees: You must wear the unitard that was provided! This means pants + shirts as a single unit...

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · attire · New Jersey · obnoxious definition · office · whiteboard


34 responses so far ↓

  • #1   rrpa

    I think (hope) the word they’re looking for is “coveralls.” I really don’t want to imagine mechanics prancing around in unitards.

    May 25, 2007 at 5:32 pm   rating: 149  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Simon

      Speak for yourself!

      Jul 24, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 100  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   marx

      Best you stay away from Star Trek then.

      May 21, 2009 at 5:00 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   GhostWriter bang

    This hidden gem screams for recurrence, as in:
    “Mishee, that was your fifth typo today- now you must wear the unitard!”
    Join the campaign to unseat “fucking delicious” in 2008!

    Nov 15, 2007 at 8:49 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Balti bang

      Team Fucking Delicious

      Mar 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Mishee bang

    I am actually more concerned about the other note at the bottom.

    If the sign is flickering it could be an electrical hazard.

    These guys are all in the locker room changing into their unitards, this sign blows up and takes half of the downtown shopping district with it.

    All those soccer moms at Starbucks… oh the humanity…

    Nov 15, 2007 at 10:06 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Troy McClure bang

    Count me in, GW! I was wondering what, precisely, “you must wear the unitard” should mean, and realised that the truth must lie in anagrams. With a bit of help (okay, a lot of help) from http://wordsmith.org/anagram/advanced.html
    I have come up with the following possibilities:

    You are a student with rum

    You are matured with nuts

    You are amid West Untruth (a real town in Wales, apparently)

    You unearthed a rum twist

    and I think my favourite:

    You are Untruth’s wet maid.

    Which is it? I’ll defer to you, GW.

    Nov 15, 2007 at 10:14 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   GVI bang

    At least they don’t have to wear leotards, so they should be thankful.

    Nov 15, 2007 at 10:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Mishee bang

    I also wonder what the Training Pants & Shirt look like…

    I am thinking like, Pull-Ups, but pants and shirt of course.

    Nov 15, 2007 at 10:21 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   GhostWriter bang

    GVI: Leo wears the leotard, and now you must wear the Unitard.

    OMG- I think we have to go with the secret meaning, “You are Untruth’s wet maid”! Think of the possibilities- whenever someone adds some outlandish comment that everybody knows could never have happened, and yet they insist that it did happen… “I’m sorry Claw71, but you must now wear the unitard!” It totally replaces “calling Bullshit” on someone.

    Nov 15, 2007 at 10:22 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   GhostWriter bang

    I am chuckling to myself, picturing Mayor Quimby ordering, “You mawst weeahh tha Unitahhd!!”

    Nov 15, 2007 at 10:41 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Carole

    Unitard = UNIform for reTARDs?

    Nov 19, 2007 at 10:50 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   RunBarbara

      That would be a Ree-i-tard.

      Apr 19, 2008 at 7:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   adrienne

    I am more bothered by the fact some mechanics are wearing training pants.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 6:25 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   laura

    i’m pretty sure it originally said ‘uniform’ and someone came along, erased ‘form’ and put in ‘tard,’ then added the bit about “as a single unit.” The note was originally written in uppercase, and the joker rewrote it with lower case.

    Apr 21, 2008 at 3:27 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   kryztyne bang

      of course you’re right, and then I had to read it again, and I’m laughing so hard tears are running down my face. Too much!

      Feb 6, 2009 at 10:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   SoapMonster bang

    I had to wear a unitard as a Fury in my college’s rendition of “The Eumenides.” It was skintight from wrist to ankle. Once we got over the initial mortification of having every individual curve greatly emphasized, we had lots of fun slinking around in them and calling each other “unitarded.” Oh, the days. . .

    Apr 28, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Mishee bang

    Personally, I would be more concerned that the southbound price sign is flickering!

    That could be a fire hazard at worst, and an advertising hazard at best!

    Apr 28, 2008 at 1:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Big JIM

    Dear Editor/submitter/internet idea siphoner,
    I am an old guy, turned 55 last week. Read about
    your website in BW this morning and first time
    ever blogger. Had lots of laughs reading the posted comments, they reminded me how funny impassioned people are. Glad to hear you were able to quit you day job at BW for more fun work. Keep the faith-Big JIM

    May 25, 2008 at 9:03 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   artstarr bang

    unitards are for squares

    Jun 1, 2008 at 2:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Crash bang

      I’d like to see a unitard fit on a square :?

      Jun 1, 2008 at 2:29 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   http://hopefulnebula.livejournal.com/

    Fifteen top-level comments, and nobody’s noticed the apostrophe in ’’employees.’’ Which it looks like somebody corrected after the fact.

    I weep. Won’t somebody think of the poor apostrophes that came in from the cold? They need good homes! Not bad homes like this!

    (Also, sorry about the URL as the name. I was an idiot and didn’t pay attention to what fields said what.)

    Jul 29, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Mikey

    I’m still killing myself at the thought of them in unitards. Here we go, lazily sourced from Wiki – “A unitard is a skin-tight one-piece garment with long legs and sometimes long sleeves. It differs from a leotard in that a leotard does not have long legs. …”. They don’t really mean that, do they? Do they?

    Oct 27, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Andrew

    Look at the last half of the word “Unitard” it seems obvious to me that someone changed it from the word “uniform” and added “as a single unit” below the already written line.

    Nov 29, 2008 at 4:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Flug Thailand

    just imagine them wearing unitards, really funny.
    The calarification of unitards was so direct , as if they were dumb people.
    I find the informal text which supposed to inform employees about working rules quite
    disrespectful.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 11:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Thomas , Zauberer Zauberkünstler

    Hi there,
    I found great ideas on your Web site.
    Well done !
    Thanks for that and keep on doing
    Greetings from germany
    Thomas

    May 30, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Fackel

    Its very strange to inform people on this way. I think the effect will be bad.

    Jun 20, 2009 at 1:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Flug

    I found great ideas on your Web site. Well done ! Go on like this …

    Jul 5, 2009 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Kaffevollautomaten

    Strange way to inform people….

    Sep 2, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   thanks for the clarification

    [...] related: that means pants + shirts as a single unit [...]

    Sep 8, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Team Cassandra bang

    |*sigh* The unitard. How could I have left you SO long?!

    Oct 27, 2009 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Personalisiertes Kinderbuch

    Your people in america are something really strange ;-)

    Greetings from Germany

    Oct 29, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Beth

    All newbies on my nordic ski team must wear unitards on their first race, since we bought 2 piece spandax last year. Thinking of mechanics in them I cannot figure out if I want to puke or laugh.

    Dec 19, 2009 at 11:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   pflurg

    When the other three retards quit they were just left with him, the unitard.

    Feb 14, 2010 at 3:05 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     

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