um, yeah. we know.
for the purposes of this project, we’re using a pretty broad (and to some extent, arbitrary) definition of “passive-aggressive” — one that roughly correlates with how the term is popularly used. (most people don’t go diving for the dsm IV when someone describes his or her roommate as “so passive-aggressive” — or “so antisocial” or “so sadistic” or “so schizo,” for that matter.)
some of the notes here are really more aggressive, and some of them are just plain passive, but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into a written note rather than a face-to-face confrontation.
while it may be more accurate, “asshole-ish notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers” just doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as easily, you know?
22 responses so far ↓
#1
lulu
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! I feel the need to submit my own. Hmmmmmmmm…….
May 22, 2007 at 10:13 am rating: 0
#2
totaltransformation
“all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into a written note rather than a physical confrontation.”
Much healthier…lol.
May 22, 2007 at 10:47 am rating: 0
#3
raging clue
Are you saying that it’s worse to leave notes asking someone to not be an asshole, than to actually *be* an asshole?
May 22, 2007 at 11:49 am rating: 0
#4
bitchphd
God, cranksters. PA is *not* poisoning a roommate. PA is being mad at someone but being “nice” so that they’re (hopefully) emotionally manipulated into doing what you want *and* not able to be mad at you. It’s not asking directly. Leaving notes, especially for roommates or neighbors to whom you could easily speak in person, is inherently PA.
So there.
May 22, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#5
raging clue
Being passive-aggressive means that you’re being aggressive by *being passive* i.e. by *not* doing something which you would or should normally do. For example, you’re pissed at your roommate, so you stop taking out the trash, or you fail to tell them that they’ve got dog poop on their jeans, or that their girlfriend found out that they’re cheating on her. As soon as you actually complain about the thing that is pissing you off, you’re no longer in passive aggressive territory — you’re just being aggressive in a very wimpy, non-confrontational way.
May 22, 2007 at 7:22 pm rating: 0
#6
Lotta
Fking brilliant site. I’ll be back!
May 22, 2007 at 8:45 pm rating: 0
#7
dave
i gotta agree with the others that you’re seriously misusing the term “passive-aggressive”. snippy notes: yes. rude notes: yes. passive aggressive notes: not so much.
it’s a doggy dog world. i could care less, really. i hope i’m not being too hand fisted, here. i think that the proof is in the pudding.
May 23, 2007 at 8:44 am rating: 0
#8
dave
@bitchphd: i disagree that leaving notes is inherently PA because a note may be politely written, signed (instead of anonymous), and address the issue directly. that would not be passive aggressive.
from wikipedia:
May 23, 2007 at 8:48 am rating: 0
#9
The Doctor
The folks engaged in the original behaviour are prolly more passive-aggressive than the note-leavers, especially if they express concern/surprise at their victim’s concern/surprise. E.g.:
Housemate A eats/steals/whatevers Housemate B’s stuff
Housemate B protests
Housemate A: *shrugs, raises eyebrows* ‘Chill, dude’ *continues behaviour*
Housemate B leaves polite note
Housemate A posts it to blog
It’s Housemate A that is knowingly engaging in passive-aggressive behaviour, and then acting all surprised and innocent when this behaviour is pointed out, and indeed A projects their own behaviour on to B as a defence.
May 23, 2007 at 10:23 am rating: 0
#10
Amanda
Can everyone stop pretending to be so smart for a couple minutes and just focus on the fact that these notes are funny, whether they or not they fit your own personal poindexter’s definition of passive-agressiveness?
May 23, 2007 at 10:43 pm rating: +1
#11
jared
wait–did someone up there say, “it’s a doggy dog world”?
thanks for that one…
May 24, 2007 at 12:53 am rating: +1
#12
Dreadalus
Uh, Jared, you did notice that all of them were off, and obviously deliberate, didn’t you? Even the universally borked “proof is in the pudding” is supposed to be “the proof of the pudding is in the eating”.
May 24, 2007 at 5:18 am rating: 0
#13
Steph Mineart
Leaving a note is passive-aggressive. Walking up and talking to the person about your problem when you know who is responsible is not.
Plus, these are hilarious.
May 24, 2007 at 9:27 am rating: 0
#14
Chris Daniel
I thought this needed to be rewritten more appropriately for the site. (For bonus points, print it out and take a picture of it tacked to a microwave.)
Dear Readers,
We know we’re misusing the term passive agressive!!! Please stop correcting us!?! We’re using a pretty broad (like you) definition that’s how it’s popularly used, okay? (Most (that is, “normal”) people don’t go diving for the dsm IV when someone describes his or her roommate as “so passive-aggressive†— or “so antisocial†or “so sadistic†or “so schizo,†for that matter!!)
Some of the notes here are really more aggressive, and some of them are just plain passive, but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into a written note rather than a face-to-face confrontation. Right? YOU woudn’t want someone to do this to you all the time, would you??!
While it may be more accurate, “asshole-ish notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers†just doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as easily, you know? SO PLEASE STOP.
love,
the management.
Jun 13, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#15
Miranda
http://www.streetballtalk.com/streetball-kicks-apparel/8453-bathroom-vanities.html
Jun 10, 2008 at 1:44 am rating: 0
#16
Kristian
http://www.bebo.com/CoachP1
Jun 10, 2008 at 5:48 pm rating: 0
#17
Valentin
http://shefinds.com/talk/index.php?showtopic=4076
Jun 25, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 0
#18
Felics
http://shefinds.com/talk/index.php?showtopic=4095
Jun 26, 2008 at 7:12 pm rating: 0
#19
Victoria
http://chanelhandbags.blogs.experienceproject.com/48285.html
Jul 5, 2008 at 9:46 pm rating: 0
#20
Gerbert
http://www.cilacapkab.go.id/webforum/index.php?showtopic=538
Jul 29, 2008 at 6:43 am rating: 0
#21
Fransis
http://community.lifehack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=843
Aug 16, 2008 at 6:44 am rating: 0
#22
Sally Villarreal
Isn’t the very act of leaving a note and not talking to someone directly passive aggressive?
Sep 1, 2008 at 5:44 pm rating: 0
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