The Mad Bomber, Act 2: Please stay seated during the entire performance

May 23rd, 2007 · 34 comments

If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…

WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!! Let it be known by all of our female members that the staff of the Lawrence Athletic Club are tired of cleaning up after the MAD BOMBER.

And it continues with Act 3

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet


34 responses so far ↓

  • #1   LT

    No pun intended, but holy crap!! I used to work at this place, and the owner/manager is a huge dick!! Now that I know the source of these letters, they don’t surprise me one bit!!
    PS- this website is freaking awesome :)

    May 23, 2007 at 1:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   dostoevsky

      But if a woman is really doing that… He has every right to get pissed. That’s just SICK; I mean seriously who POOPS ON THE SEAT? and on a REGULAR BASIS?

      Jun 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   minus five

    that’s a pretty clever way to get it to stop.

    May 23, 2007 at 1:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   carouselle

    Being a janitor, I can so relate to this. All I can say is, some humans are dumber than the stuff they leave on the toilets and walls!

    May 23, 2007 at 2:14 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Duh

    I especially love his use of the word “performance”. I didn’t know that using the bathroom is considered art. What an interesting use of different mediums too. First the initial “performance” piece, but then to paint the walls? So avante garde.

    My only wish is that he’d included a picture of the final masterpiece.

    May 23, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   SP

    I don’t see what’s so “passive agressive” about this. Aside from standing by the bathroom and inspecting it after every use, there is no other way to address what seems to be a very real problem. We have a mad pisser in my office. Every once in a while the bathroom will be completely sprayed down. It’s no fun. Some of my most unhappy memories from early childhood are of the disgusting bathrooms we had to share in pre-school and kindergarden. When adults behave this way, something is seriously wrong. I think this post isn’t really in keeping with the mission of this blog IMHO. It is quite entertaining though, I’ll give you that.

    May 23, 2007 at 4:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   a*d*b

    this is simply amazing. why does she do it? what could she possibly gain from it? i need chapter 3….

    May 23, 2007 at 8:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   T

    Uh, i bet it was some guy mad at women.

    May 24, 2007 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Joan

    We had a mad poo-smearer who used the ladies’ room at my old workplace. It was bad. Very bad.

    May 24, 2007 at 1:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   outeast

    I find that a pretty good note – humorously written despite being a response to some grim behaviour. I wouldn’t diss the writer of this one.

    May 24, 2007 at 3:02 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   RL

      I am a member at this gym, and was shocked to find local fare on this site! That said, what you perceived as “humor” in this letter is, in fact, not. Richard Sells (whom I’ve met on several ocacasions, thankfully briefly) is brash and rude. He talks very much like this is written, to everyone. His employees can’t stand him, and he leaves these notes all OVER the gym all the time…

      Sep 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   oldskychaos

    I agree I like it! I would hate to have to clear up that mess every week how disgusting. You just better hope it isn’t a disabled person who doesn’t have access to a disabled toilet in the building although I couldn’t imagine that happening. Unless its a child. I just can’t get my head round the fact that someone would do this willingly.

    May 24, 2007 at 4:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   jemix

    wow..! its a great !

    May 24, 2007 at 11:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   stealthknight1

    I can’t contiplate in my mind how someone would miss so badly. Even diarea at the most would hit the front end of the toilet but behind and on the walls?! This bomber must have fecal matter with a lot of gas buildup. This is why I don’t take a Crap in public restrooms.

    Note: even hovers can aim at the center of the bowel.

    May 24, 2007 at 10:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Anhoni

    There has to be a follow-up to this. I must find out who the MAD BOMBER is.

    May 24, 2007 at 11:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   lilpita

    Seriously, who does that? If you’re old enough to use a restroom you are obviously potty-trained, so what kind of a freak can’t crap into a toilet? I just can not wrap my mind around that fact that there are ADULTS out there that can not manage to get their waste into the giant hole of a toilet. (on a different rant, i’d like to kick the ass of every person who feels compelled to use 30 feet of toilet paper in a public restroom, thereby clogging up the toilet so no one else can use it. )

    May 25, 2007 at 1:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Down10

    Let it be known that I have a deep appreciation for letters that open with “let it be known.” Very regal!

    May 25, 2007 at 4:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   the mad bomber, act 3: we are watching you « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

    [...] May 25th, 2007 · No Comments if you missed them, act 1 and act 2. [...]

    May 25, 2007 at 9:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   rrpa

    It’s illegal to leave a mess in the bathroom? Unless they can prove some sort of intent to vandalize, I don’t see the police getting involved.

    Perhaps they can just revoke the offender’s membership?

    May 25, 2007 at 5:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Kaida Rose

    Cool letter. Power to the babes!

    May 26, 2007 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   americanuck

    Baahahahahahaha!!

    May 27, 2007 at 2:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   bud

    You know, occasionally we have someone hang ten. That is, they have obviously left a turd on the RIM of the toilet seat.

    Other than sociopathy, I think one time I traced the behavior to someone who was changing a diaper, and really didn’t know how to go about it, which sometimes might happen to the less experienced parent.

    May 27, 2007 at 6:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Distorted Fanatic

    there used to be a real problem with this when I worked at the Tuscaloosa (Alabama) Public Library. always in the women’s restroom it was always all over the walls. and in the men’s room, it was in the middle of the floor. we enacted a policy where not only did you have to sign for a key and present your library card. that ended it.

    Jun 26, 2007 at 10:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Vanessa

    tram-1978

    Jul 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   the mad bomber, act 3: we are watching you

    [...] if you missed them, act 1 and act 2. [...]

    Aug 1, 2007 at 7:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Steph

    I’ve worked cleaning toilets in a gigantic national park. People will shit everywhere. “We’re on vacation, who cares?” – is this the attitude?

    The mentality of such people saddens me.

    Aug 5, 2007 at 1:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Shanna

    How exactly is he going to prosecute?

    Oh, SP, I agree. I briefly worked with schizophrenics and they did similar stuff in the bathroom, but a little worse…

    Aug 8, 2007 at 10:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   nona fenders

    The “performance” reminds me of an anti-diarrhea product that directs: “Take two tablets after the first episode and one tablet following each additional episode.”

    Sign out the key then check for an EPISODE!

    Sep 26, 2007 at 4:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Jamesie

    I’m 31 years old and I have NEVER seen poop on the floor or walls, or a turd left on the rim of a toilet. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! YIKES!

    May 20, 2008 at 12:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   hh

      I know! I’ve never even seen this at my school, which is full of CHILDREN, who are the only people that should ever be allowed to get away with this kind of thing. And seriously, even then, they should know better…

      Jun 30, 2008 at 3:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Dog Lover

    I used to work at a group home for developmently disabled adults (with down’s and other forms of cognitive deficits). One of the residents who had severe Down’s used to play with her feces and smear them on the walls. Perhaps there is someone at the gym with the same issues?
    Anyway, that job is what propelled me into going back to school for my Master’s. Minimum wage for cleaning up shit is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 9:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   catsnstuff

    Wow! This reminded me of a post I recently saw on Engrish: http://engrishfunny.com/2008/11/16/engrish-please-remain-seated/

    Same peeps?

    Nov 23, 2008 at 8:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Barbara

    Yeah…I feel really bad for this guy. In Penn station they have placards that warn restroom users that defecating anywhere other than in the toilet itself will result in major fines. I think this isn’t *quite with the tone of the site but since the owner is a dick it is still safe.

    This site rocks.

    Feb 3, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Brittany

    My school had to start doing that sign-out sheet thing in second grade…………. and started it again by December every year after that…….

    Dec 1, 2009 at 7:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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