if you missed it, act 1.
act 3 coming soon…
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FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet
— Kris
"customer service" "helpful" advice a little patronizing actions speak louder actually totally reasonable all-staff e-mail anthropomorphism art austin australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach boston brooklyn bullet points california canada CAPS LOCK cleaning clip art catastrophe confusion??? crazypants d.c. die bitch die dishes dogs e-mail ellipses-crazed ex drama excessive underlining exclamation-point happy! facebook family florida food frenemies fridge garbage gloriously redundant group bitchfest guilt trip heart highlighter holiday spirit hygiene illinois irregular capitalization jersey jesus kids kitchen landlord laundry london los angeles martyr complex massachusetts mean girls meta michigan microwave moms & dads money more aggressive than passive music neighbors new york noise north carolina not-so-veiled threats now that's management odor office office fridge oh no you didn't oh snap old folks ontario opening/closing p.s. parking piss pleasantries as afterthought questionable logic raging against the machine rebuttals restaurant retail hell rhetorical question roommates saga san diego san francisco sarcasm say wha? seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smiley smoking spelling and grammar police stealing temperature texas thanks (but not really) that shit is disgusting toilet toronto touching u.k. university unnecessary "quotation marks" virginia visual aids water whiteboard wtf? you call that punctuation?

34 responses so far ↓
#1
LT
No pun intended, but holy crap!! I used to work at this place, and the owner/manager is a huge dick!! Now that I know the source of these letters, they don’t surprise me one bit!!
PS- this website is freaking awesome
May 23, 2007 at 1:17 pm rating: 0 
#2
minus five
that’s a pretty clever way to get it to stop.
May 23, 2007 at 1:37 pm rating: +2 
#3
carouselle
Being a janitor, I can so relate to this. All I can say is, some humans are dumber than the stuff they leave on the toilets and walls!
May 23, 2007 at 2:14 pm rating: +17 
#4
Duh
I especially love his use of the word “performance”. I didn’t know that using the bathroom is considered art. What an interesting use of different mediums too. First the initial “performance” piece, but then to paint the walls? So avante garde.
My only wish is that he’d included a picture of the final masterpiece.
May 23, 2007 at 2:47 pm rating: +10 
#5
SP
I don’t see what’s so “passive agressive” about this. Aside from standing by the bathroom and inspecting it after every use, there is no other way to address what seems to be a very real problem. We have a mad pisser in my office. Every once in a while the bathroom will be completely sprayed down. It’s no fun. Some of my most unhappy memories from early childhood are of the disgusting bathrooms we had to share in pre-school and kindergarden. When adults behave this way, something is seriously wrong. I think this post isn’t really in keeping with the mission of this blog IMHO. It is quite entertaining though, I’ll give you that.
May 23, 2007 at 4:35 pm rating: +2 
#6
a*d*b
this is simply amazing. why does she do it? what could she possibly gain from it? i need chapter 3….
May 23, 2007 at 8:13 pm rating: 0 
#7
T
Uh, i bet it was some guy mad at women.
May 24, 2007 at 1:34 am rating: 0 
#8
Joan
We had a mad poo-smearer who used the ladies’ room at my old workplace. It was bad. Very bad.
May 24, 2007 at 1:47 am rating: 0 
#9
outeast
I find that a pretty good note – humorously written despite being a response to some grim behaviour. I wouldn’t diss the writer of this one.
May 24, 2007 at 3:02 am rating: +6 
#10
oldskychaos
I agree I like it! I would hate to have to clear up that mess every week how disgusting. You just better hope it isn’t a disabled person who doesn’t have access to a disabled toilet in the building although I couldn’t imagine that happening. Unless its a child. I just can’t get my head round the fact that someone would do this willingly.
May 24, 2007 at 4:42 am rating: 0 
#11
jemix
wow..! its a great !
May 24, 2007 at 11:53 am rating: 0 
#12
stealthknight1
I can’t contiplate in my mind how someone would miss so badly. Even diarea at the most would hit the front end of the toilet but behind and on the walls?! This bomber must have fecal matter with a lot of gas buildup. This is why I don’t take a Crap in public restrooms.
Note: even hovers can aim at the center of the bowel.
May 24, 2007 at 10:11 pm rating: 0 
#13
Anhoni
There has to be a follow-up to this. I must find out who the MAD BOMBER is.
May 24, 2007 at 11:31 pm rating: +1 
#14
lilpita
Seriously, who does that? If you’re old enough to use a restroom you are obviously potty-trained, so what kind of a freak can’t crap into a toilet? I just can not wrap my mind around that fact that there are ADULTS out there that can not manage to get their waste into the giant hole of a toilet. (on a different rant, i’d like to kick the ass of every person who feels compelled to use 30 feet of toilet paper in a public restroom, thereby clogging up the toilet so no one else can use it. )
May 25, 2007 at 1:57 am rating: +2 
#15
Down10
Let it be known that I have a deep appreciation for letters that open with “let it be known.” Very regal!
May 25, 2007 at 4:17 am rating: +1 
#16 the mad bomber, act 3: we are watching you « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers
[...] May 25th, 2007 · No Comments if you missed them, act 1 and act 2. [...]
May 25, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: 0 
#17
rrpa
It’s illegal to leave a mess in the bathroom? Unless they can prove some sort of intent to vandalize, I don’t see the police getting involved.
Perhaps they can just revoke the offender’s membership?
May 25, 2007 at 5:11 pm rating: 0 
#18
Kaida Rose
Cool letter. Power to the babes!
May 26, 2007 at 8:48 pm rating: 0 
#19
americanuck
Baahahahahahaha!!
May 27, 2007 at 2:55 am rating: 0 
#20
bud
You know, occasionally we have someone hang ten. That is, they have obviously left a turd on the RIM of the toilet seat.
Other than sociopathy, I think one time I traced the behavior to someone who was changing a diaper, and really didn’t know how to go about it, which sometimes might happen to the less experienced parent.
May 27, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0 
#21
Distorted Fanatic
there used to be a real problem with this when I worked at the Tuscaloosa (Alabama) Public Library. always in the women’s restroom it was always all over the walls. and in the men’s room, it was in the middle of the floor. we enacted a policy where not only did you have to sign for a key and present your library card. that ended it.
Jun 26, 2007 at 10:11 pm rating: +2 
#22
Vanessa
tram-1978
Jul 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: 0 
#23 the mad bomber, act 3: we are watching you
[...] if you missed them, act 1 and act 2. [...]
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:19 pm rating: 0 
#24
Steph
I’ve worked cleaning toilets in a gigantic national park. People will shit everywhere. “We’re on vacation, who cares?” – is this the attitude?
The mentality of such people saddens me.
Aug 5, 2007 at 1:03 pm rating: 0 
#25
Shanna
How exactly is he going to prosecute?
Oh, SP, I agree. I briefly worked with schizophrenics and they did similar stuff in the bathroom, but a little worse…
Aug 8, 2007 at 10:41 am rating: 0 
#26
nona fenders
The “performance” reminds me of an anti-diarrhea product that directs: “Take two tablets after the first episode and one tablet following each additional episode.”
Sign out the key then check for an EPISODE!
Sep 26, 2007 at 4:10 pm rating: +1 
#27 the mad bomber, act 1: “sorry about the language”
[...] 2 and 3 to come shortly… digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble [...]
Apr 16, 2008 at 9:29 pm rating: 0 
#28
Jamesie
I’m 31 years old and I have NEVER seen poop on the floor or walls, or a turd left on the rim of a toilet. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! YIKES!
May 20, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 0 
#29
Dog Lover
I used to work at a group home for developmently disabled adults (with down’s and other forms of cognitive deficits). One of the residents who had severe Down’s used to play with her feces and smear them on the walls. Perhaps there is someone at the gym with the same issues?
Anyway, that job is what propelled me into going back to school for my Master’s. Minimum wage for cleaning up shit is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Aug 11, 2008 at 9:59 am rating: +1 
#30
catsnstuff
Wow! This reminded me of a post I recently saw on Engrish: http://engrishfunny.com/2008/11/16/engrish-please-remain-seated/
Same peeps?
Nov 23, 2008 at 8:22 am rating: 0 
#31
Barbara
Yeah…I feel really bad for this guy. In Penn station they have placards that warn restroom users that defecating anywhere other than in the toilet itself will result in major fines. I think this isn’t *quite with the tone of the site but since the owner is a dick it is still safe.
This site rocks.
Feb 3, 2009 at 5:16 pm rating: 0 
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