this amazing and somewhat baffling little note comes to us from tiffanni in atlanta, who looks nothing like a man but is confident enough in her femininity not to be troubled by allegations to the contrary.
says tiffanni: “this was left on my windshield by a lady in the wal-mart parking lot. i guess she was having a bad day.”
i’m not even going to try to parse this note’s logic, but i invite readers to do so in the comments section. the most plausible and/or amusing explanation will win an mp3 of alanis morissette’s “ironic” from the itunes music store (retail value: $0.99).
31 responses so far ↓
#1
Lexi
Absolutely LOVE the prize! *laughing*
yet I have no plausible and or witty explanation.
I came to my car once to find a sticky note that said ” parking score- negative 1″ Ouch. I admit I did park pretty shitty. I think I may start making sure I have sticy notes in my care and start randomly leaving notes on peoples cars…
May 25, 2007 at 8:29 am rating: +1
#2
Dr.Evil
Maybe that was written by Paris Hilton while shopping for new clothes so she can fit into jail better.
May 25, 2007 at 8:41 am rating: 0
#3
oldskychaos
She’s a beautiful what?! She just says ‘I a beautiful’ a beautiful what?! Man…dog…or illiterate, perhaps.
May 25, 2007 at 8:48 am rating: 0
#4
Shelley - At Home in Rome
Headline in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:They beautiful people seen running desperately from Wal-Mart parking lot after she-man go on violent parking rampage
May 25, 2007 at 9:28 am rating: +16
#5
whatladder
I suspect tiffanni is not being totally candid about her guilt in this matter. Clearly, she was mesmerised by the note-leaver, who is a glamorous transvestite with a big beehive, and was staring so hard that she had to slam on the brakes just in time to avoid running over the vision in lime-green spandex. The emphasis on gender in the note is quite revealing, and the subject left a phone number on the reverse.
May 25, 2007 at 10:05 am rating: +6
#6
Paul O.
“Because I a beautiful”
You know, I’d rather be ugly than be that bad at my (presumably) native language. Maybe you really can’t have both?
May 25, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: +1
#7
hymes
People that aware of others’ gender presentations are either gender outlaws themselves (seems doubtful for the note writer) or insecure in their own gender identity. So I will surmise that the note writer was threatened byTiffani wearing blue and not pink and pants instead of skirt. Or the note writer was drunk.
May 25, 2007 at 4:31 pm rating: +2
#8
Erik Curtis
pleaz i can have engish ressons?
May 25, 2007 at 5:09 pm rating: 0
#9
Duh
Are you sure “Tiffanni” is not a man? Because the only people I know that spell their name with so many superfluous letters and an “i” at the end where a “y” is clearly called for are pre-op trannies. I’m just sayin’.
May 25, 2007 at 5:19 pm rating: +2
#10
annakristine
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
I have no idea. None. I a beautiful? This is hilarious.
May 25, 2007 at 8:46 pm rating: 0
#11
fiducal
May I remind you all this is Georgia. The reason this note is so miserable is because Georgia is ranked 49th out of 50th in the country. This is a result of our poor education system.
May 25, 2007 at 10:56 pm rating: 0
#12
Coops
I think they got the wrong car. Don’t take it to heart
May 26, 2007 at 6:09 am rating: 0
#13
Brad
This note reminds me of the Ms. Swan Mad TV sketch.
May 26, 2007 at 6:01 pm rating: +4
#14 Passive Aggressive Notes » The Deets - Ed Kohler's Blog
[...] Here’s a good one. [...]
May 28, 2007 at 9:37 am rating: 0
#15
Mar
The print on this note is very similar to the printing I have seen used by people from countries that don’t use latin lettering, for example, Hong Kong. That may explain the slightly off grammar (and really, it’s not that bad, have you watched reality TV lately? Or, actually, dealt with real people? People do not speak properly, how can you expect them to write properly?). I don’t think the possibly non-English speaking/writing background can explain anything else about the note though.
May 28, 2007 at 8:18 pm rating: 0
#16
Dotcomaphobe
i A beautiful, two! An I am a Man!
My favorite part is the reinforced insult of Tiffanni being “mannish”.
Well, note writer, you are stupid! And very stupid, at that! Bye, stupid!
May 29, 2007 at 4:02 pm rating: +1
#17
Lora
Tiffanni,
You totally forgot you were wearing your Richard Nixon mask that day, weren’t you?
May 30, 2007 at 6:41 pm rating: 0
#18
misha
she clearly wrote this note because she a writer, a beautiful writer @ that
May 30, 2007 at 8:15 pm rating: 0
#19
Rich
Wow. Just… wow. I read this note about a dozen times, and laughed harder at it each time. I’m literally crying. The whole concept of putting a note on someone’s car asking them not to run you over (because you’re “a beautiful”) slays me.
If someone put a note like this on my car in the parking lot, I wouldn’t be able to drive home for hours.
… man!
May 31, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: +1
#20
yobimbo
Someone I knew left a letter on my car once. Let’s say we weren’t on good terms. She proceeded to insult me in every way she could… My weight, my looks, etc. It was full of spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. So I corrected all the errors, gave the paper a C-, and gave it back to her. That put an end to that.
May 31, 2007 at 3:00 pm rating: +5
#21
Cathy -- a beautiful, and NOT MANNISH AT ALL
It’s obvious what the note means. Tiffani pulled into the parking lot and violated a beautiful’s comfort zone whilst a beautiful was crossing the lot on foot. Aggrieved and amazed, a beautiful pondered her motives for this attempted homicide, and decided that Tiffani — poor, mannish, UGLY mannish Tiffani — must have beheld a beautiful’s radiant femininity and attempted to run her over in a fit of rage and jealous despair. Hence the note.
Or, possibly, Tiffani violated the comfort zone and a beautiful decided that “you’re ugly and mannish” was the ultimate crushing insult, OF COURSE, so just left the most insulting note she could think of. If Tiffani had been a man (which I’m sure she’s not and does not appear to be), a beautiful would have accused her of being gay. She would have accused Tiffani of being fat, but you can’t plausibly accuse someone of that just by glimpsing her through a windshield.
May 31, 2007 at 3:08 pm rating: +2
#22
Greg
Obviously, the passive aggressive hit and run woman was of oriental heritage, and the receiver of this note found it off awfully funny to do an impression of Ms. Swan in front of her. Of course, the oriental lady only recently came to the united states and spends her time studying English on AIM.
Jun 2, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 0
#23
AliMae
Arizona is ranked 50th in the nation for education and I have never heard such grammar spoken…. that could be because most people here speak spanish!
Jun 3, 2007 at 4:34 pm rating: 0
#24
apheckel
I’m just impressed she had the wherewithal to write this note and show it to Tiffani in the time it took her to notice she was being run over.
Jun 5, 2007 at 11:34 am rating: +2
#25
Lisa
First of all Fiducal, not all people from Georgia are uneducated hicks. Just an example of ignorance on your part but I forgive you. Because you see, just like Ms. “I a beautiful”, you are human and obviously having a bad day. As for why this note was written, I would say it was a busy parking lot (as most walmart’s are) and she crossed your path as you were looking for a place to park. Don’t take it to heart, maybe her man left her for a woman who looked like a man and not a beautiful! And we all know when we are mad we say things we don’t mean…. You are both still alive nobody got ran over and that is all that matters.
Jun 5, 2007 at 2:05 pm rating: +2
#26 i a beautiful (plus: passive-aggressive challenge #1!) « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers
[...] not even going to try to parse this note’s logic, but i invite readers to do so in the comments section. the most plausible and/or amusing explanation will win an mp3 of alanis morissette’s [...]
Jun 7, 2007 at 6:20 pm rating: 0
#27
rrrobin
I think the note writer is a native speaker because “run over†isn’t a common phrasal verb used by non-native speakers, or at least not by non-native speakers that would make a really basic mistake of omitting the “am†from a really basic structure like “pronoun (I) + to be conjugation (am) + adjective (beautiful)â€. In the note writers defense, I think she probably just omitted the “m†in a moment of passionate note-writing.
Jun 13, 2007 at 6:28 pm rating: 0
#28
Educated Hick
First of all Lisa, I agree with the statement that “not all people from Georgia are uneducated hicks”. Not all people from ANYWHERE are uneducated hicks.
However, I would like to point out that if you are posting a comment wherein a major point is being made that you (presumably) are not an uneducated hick, it would be a pretty good idea to make damn sure you don’t have any spelling or grammatical errors in said post.
“Wal-Marts” should at the very least start with a capital “W” (you can probably get away without the hyphen or the capital “M”) and there should NEVER be an apostrophe before the “s” at the end, unless you are referring to something belonging to a single Wal-Mart. (Maybe your note should be passed on to the “Apostrophe Abuse” site linked to from this very forum!)
Also, I believe you meant to say, “nobody got RUN over”. That’s “run” with a “u”.
Just sayin’, is all. Anyone can have a bad day, right? I usually ignore all the mistakes made in these posts unless someone is using their post to point out someone else’s ignorance.
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:28 am rating: 0
#29
Philbs
I’m pretty sure this person was quoting Ms. Swan from MADtv. It’s a shame more people didn’t notice this.
Nov 25, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: +1
#30
ern
am i the only one who thinks she just forgot to put an ‘m’ after the ‘a’ so it should have said “i AM beautiful” instead??? so really it’s a spelling error, not a grammatical error…
i also think tiffanni slammed into this woman inside the store with a shopping cart while she was trying on menswear, hence the mix-up.
Mar 6, 2009 at 1:42 pm rating: +1
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