don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (it’s been more than a month since she received this note, and kiki from boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)
you left evidence
May 28th, 2007 · 23 comments
FILED UNDER: boston · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy! · food · office · smiley · stealing
23 responses so far ↓
#1
chilly77
I have totally received a note like this before from a roommate and her name was Erin. I love how that last sentence tries to sugarcoat the sneak attack of the first part of the note. Oh and of course there’s the ever-present overly-used smiley. Sometimes I like using those at work in an email, like:
Dear Boss,
I seem to have quite a bit on my plate this week; however, it really is a great opportunity for me to increase productivity. That said, I will be unable to do items 25 thru 74, just so you know, because I’m, like, you know, one person.
Thanks!!!
Me
lol. Love this blog btw!
May 28, 2007 at 11:35 am rating: +3
#2
no
kiki needs to buy her own food. fuck off, kiki.
May 28, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: +6
#3
Hazard Pay
Where can I buy tee-shirts with these images on them?
Do you have any merchandise?
May 28, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: 0
#4
Smandung
Good blog…
May 28, 2007 at 10:08 pm rating: 0
#5
nikki
i never care if roomates eat my food in moderation. everybody gets hungry, why be so anal about it? like jerri blank says – “it’s like a commune. take what ya need, leave what ya have.”
May 29, 2007 at 1:25 am rating: 0
#6
joebec
love this blog!
i wonder what kind of “evidence” one could leave behind… crumbs, a dirty spoon? what?
May 29, 2007 at 11:43 am rating: +2
#7
metaljaybird
What did she eat? The handwriting isn’t clear.
May 29, 2007 at 1:27 pm rating: 0
#8 DrJoolz Snapshotz on Life :: Notes around the house (etc) :: May :: 2007
[...] now I see that there is a wonderful blog here all about ‘passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and [...]
May 29, 2007 at 2:36 pm rating: 0
#9 Crazy Monkey Gurls Unite » Blog Archive »
[...] neighbors, coworkers and strangers, one of my new favoritest blogs. She was kind enough to post it and link back to CMG. Yay! (Someone even told me to fuck off in the post’s comments. Hehe. I [...]
May 29, 2007 at 6:28 pm rating: 0
#10
Good Soul
In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bough some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.
Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again.
Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.
May 31, 2007 at 8:57 am rating: +7
#11 commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers
[...] June 1st, 2007 · No Comments re: “you left evidence” [...]
Jun 1, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 0
#12
Mallory
Has anyone realized that sometimes the only way you can communicate with your room-mate is by leaving a note. All my room-mates keep very different schedules and I am not going to wait around the house just to talk to them. I will however willingly take pictures of my notes and post them, if you would like.
Jun 2, 2007 at 5:17 pm rating: 0
#13
poyupop
You know I have this same problem with my room mate. If it isn’t ketchup or mayo (to me isn’t a big deal) he will actually take the food right off my plate. The other night I was eating, and he came in to gab. He then started eating the chicken right off my plate. I asked him WTF… and he said… oh don’t worry I will make you some more. So now I guard my food like I’m a prison inmate.
Jun 2, 2007 at 9:23 pm rating: 0
#14 how not to housetrain a roommate
[...] smileys can be terrifying. [...]
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:18 pm rating: 0
#15
Captain Petrolards
Hello P-A Notes Readers! Whilst casually reading this blog, lo — I have stumbled upon a note that I wrote with my very own hand.
Here is the oh-so pertinent backstory:
Many mornings I enjoy a delicious bowl of Quaker Instant Grits (the level of their deliciousness is a subject of another post) and living up North as I do, we only have plain Quaker Instant Grits in the grocery. Therefore, it is incumbent on me, the lowly grits enjoyer, to add my own chemicalified butter-like product.
On a grits morning (sometimes called “Wednesday,” or on a rare occasion, “Tuesday”) I spoon out a heaping portion of petrolard and swirl it about the plain bowl of grits. As the petrolard melts off the spoon it imparts its neon yellow color as well as its artificial je ne ce quois.
On the particular morning that I wrote the note, I found knife tracks in the baby vat o’ chemical goodness. Of course I immediately phoned David Caruso to have the matter thoroughly inspected and he confirmed the marks were indicative of a plastic knife swipe and not congruent with a spoon swoop. Having thus confirmed the thievery beyond the shadow of a CSI doubt, I left a note.
I paid for the damn petrolard and as the original photographer knows, we are paid far too poorly to be giving away petrolards to the masses. One day Kiki, the next day, everyone else!!! (Note intentional crazy exclamation points inserted for extra psychotic goodness).
Kiki, rest assured, if you ever need petrolards, I will share.
Also, yes, the cleaning people spit in drink bottles but only because I ask them to.
Also, I’m not sure but Cartboy could very well be underage. Tread carefully, if you can get a word in between him and his iPod.
Jul 11, 2007 at 6:37 am rating: +1
#16
Freud
Very Interesting – you repeatedly insist that you are “OK with sharing” and yet, you feel that someone who privately takes the very item that you wish to share is rude.
I diagnose a full-blown case of “I-don’t-donate-unless-I-get-a-tax-deduction-itis”
Jul 11, 2007 at 7:34 am rating: +2
#17
Captain Petrolards
I am ok with sharing which is differentiated from stealing by way of consent. Allow me to distill the calculus for you:
When someone asks before taking = Sharing
When someone takes with no asking = Stealing
If A=B and C= cheeseburger, then it would appear that I am “ok” with sharing but not stealing.
For the record, I do donate to charity but due to crap income (see above) not in large enough amounts to even exceed the standard deduction.
Jul 11, 2007 at 7:48 am rating: 0
#18 get your own :)
[...] you left evidence digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function [...]
Feb 7, 2008 at 11:36 am rating: 0
#19
Jennie
All of this over some frickin’ butter? Jeez! I mean, it’d be different if it was Outback bread…
Dec 12, 2008 at 2:46 am rating: +2
#20
TinyTurtle
This is one of the best notes I have read! It is perfection! Just a hint of sinister wrapped in super sweetness!
Cereal theft issues can be solved by buying a box of All Bran, dumping out contents and placing bag of scrumptious cereal inside box.
Dec 14, 2008 at 2:54 am rating: +2
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