I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign
…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.
Exhibit a: New York City
Exhibit b: Southern Oregon
Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.
Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii
Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.
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FILED UNDER: columbia · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy! · office · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard
40 responses so far ↓
#1
nikki
this is my favorite so far
May 29, 2007 at 1:23 am rating: +2
#2
TheShortFatKid
hot pockets are a hot theft item and responsible for the riun of many o’ work microwave. They blow-up big time when they are put in too long.
May 29, 2007 at 7:05 am rating: 0
#3
Marnie
Number three is so so so my favorite for it’s plethora of grammar mistakes and because the person topped it off with a “shall not.”
How very biblical.
Now, I wish I had a hot pocket.
May 29, 2007 at 8:12 am rating: +7
#4
carolbrowne
I had no idea there was such a hot pocket problem in the world. Shocking!
May 29, 2007 at 8:46 am rating: +7
#5
Anhoni
Who knew these items were the crack cocaine of the food world? People will lie, cheat, steal and possibly ruins their lives just for a taste.
I liked the last submit of the photos of the convenience store thieves. I used to work at a bookstore and we did that with shoplifters. Good times.
May 29, 2007 at 9:10 am rating: +8
#6
cape buffalo
that first one needs to be forwarded to the overlords at the unnecessary quotation marks blog.
May 29, 2007 at 9:58 am rating: +1
#7
krkbaker
It seems that hot pockets may perhaps be the car radios of a shared freezer. Perhaps easier to steal because it only takes a couple of minutes to cook them. So you’re in and out. Funny. kim
May 29, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: +2
#8
Tatyana
I LOVE hotpockets, and have been said to closely resemble one.
May 29, 2007 at 10:24 am rating: +2
#9
Lara
Hot pocket theifs should be dealt with by using the fullest extent of the law.
May 29, 2007 at 10:30 am rating: 0
#10
joebec
OMG, hot pockets really ARE that good! i’m gonna have to try them for myself. i wonder who’s i can steal… LOL
May 29, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: 0
#11
Lexi
People at my work LOVE to steal hotpockets (or my lean pockets). I have had them stolen from me multiple times. I can’t write a note cause HR would no approve of that. Oh well. The only thing I can do is continue to write my name on the box and keep my fingers crossed.
May 29, 2007 at 3:47 pm rating: +1
#12 Top Posts « WordPress.com
[...] i swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign …but hot pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer. exhibit a: new york city [image] exhibit b: […] [...]
May 29, 2007 at 7:02 pm rating: 0
#13
Chriz
Whom needs a grammar lesson?
May 29, 2007 at 10:22 pm rating: +2
#14
bluespike
love the sad smiley in the first one
May 30, 2007 at 12:51 am rating: 0
#15
whatladder
That reminds me of my mother’s favourite joke:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
F*ck.
F*ck who?
F*uck WHOM.
May 30, 2007 at 1:30 am rating: +5
#16
themrs07
Hot pockets are effin disgusting. Who the hell would be desperate enough to steal ‘em MUST be hungrier than hell.. let ‘em have ‘em. Ugh.
May 30, 2007 at 5:36 pm rating: +1
#17
seamus
Jim Gaffigan has a joke that goes something like:
“You what no one has ever said before? ‘Wow, eating that Hot Pocket sure was a good idea. I am glad I did that.’”
May 30, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: +1
#18
scottyf311
If hot pockets weren’t so portable and delicious, this wouldn’t be a problem, now huh???
May 31, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#19
Hamilton Lovecraft
This aggression will not stand, man!
Jun 1, 2007 at 1:03 am rating: 0
#20
LQP
Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:
Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish
The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets.
I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.
Jun 1, 2007 at 10:49 am rating: +6
#21 commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers
[...] “i swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says: Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded [...]
Jun 1, 2007 at 11:16 pm rating: 0
#22
Hellen
Jim Gaffigan – Hot Pocketsssss…..Pope Pocketsssss!!! (Just go to YouTube and type in hot pockets and his name, Jim Gaffigan, you will die from laughing!!!!)
Jun 4, 2007 at 10:13 am rating: 0
#23 Apparently Richard Stallman thinks he's hilarious in Spanish « Sitting at my Ono Sendai
[...] Edit_1: It has recently come to my attention that hot pockets are the most commonly stolen office food item [...]
Jun 5, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#24
Janey
Yuck. I HATE Hotpockets. I’m not sure why anybody would want to steal them, let alone buy them.
I agree with Hellen about Jim Gaffigan’s standup – hilarious!
Jun 14, 2007 at 10:14 am rating: +1
#25
Brian
My musical comedy duo wrote a song about hot pockets. It turned out to be a pretty good recording. check myspace.com/daveandbrian
Oct 11, 2007 at 10:05 pm rating: 0
#26
eBay Saver! Find out how
I had some A**Hole at work who would drink some of my 1/2 gallon milk daily that I kept in a community fridge at work. I never figured out who it was, but I got ‘em good! I diluted the milk with my golden sweet urine!
Nov 28, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: +1
#27
GezD
#3 “…it’s plethora of grammar mistakes.” I see what you did there; you were being ironic.
Dec 1, 2007 at 7:43 am rating: +5
#28 “take out of box, place directly in toilet”
[...] if you ask jim gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.) related: i swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function [...]
Jan 13, 2008 at 11:51 pm rating: 0
#29 Brains On Fire Blog » Blog Archive » It’s NOT a Stealth Viral Marketing Campaign – I swear!
[...] “We all know about full disclosure and transparency, but it appears that so called viral marketing… [...]
Jan 14, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: 0
#30 GeekThug » Blog Archive » “take out of box, place directly in toilet”
[...] related: i swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign [...]
Jan 19, 2008 at 3:06 am rating: 0
#31 roommate fumes; unilever marketing execs rejoice
[...] i swear this isn’t some sort of stealth viral marketing campaign digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function [...]
Feb 3, 2008 at 8:45 pm rating: 0
#32
artstarr
what kind of bastard would steal a hot pocket. that is just not cool…
Jun 1, 2008 at 2:19 am rating: +1
#33
bangin'drums
The last picture is so great, the guy posing with the Hotpockets. Then the guy above him that stole 2 slimfasts! Hilarious, I want to go to this store and steal something just so they take my pic.
Sep 8, 2008 at 5:54 pm rating: +1
#34
i
Keep your sticky fingers out of my hot pockets!
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:08 pm rating: 0
#35 Some of us have OCD. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. and a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna [...]
Nov 24, 2009 at 1:22 am rating: 0
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