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May 29th, 2007 · 33 comments

…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.

Exhibit a: New York City

To Whoever stole my "Hot Pocket": It's not done and not nice :(

Exhibit b: Southern Oregon

Dear Hot Pocket Thief! Stop stealing it's wrong & I'm hungry with no lunch!!! Thanks

Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.

To the individual whom [sic] stole the hotpockets! They did not belong to you! By you consuming said hotpockets you have committed a theft! This shall not be tolerated!

Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii

Tried to steal hot pockets

Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.

FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard

33 responses so far ↓

  • #1   nikki

    this is my favorite so far

    May 29, 2007 at 1:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #2   TheShortFatKid

    hot pockets are a hot theft item and responsible for the riun of many o’ work microwave. They blow-up big time when they are put in too long.

    May 29, 2007 at 7:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #3   Marnie

    Number three is so so so my favorite for it’s plethora of grammar mistakes and because the person topped it off with a “shall not.”
    How very biblical.
    Now, I wish I had a hot pocket.

    May 29, 2007 at 8:12 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

  • #4   carolbrowne

    I had no idea there was such a hot pocket problem in the world. Shocking!

    May 29, 2007 at 8:46 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #5   Anhoni

    Who knew these items were the crack cocaine of the food world? People will lie, cheat, steal and possibly ruins their lives just for a taste.

    I liked the last submit of the photos of the convenience store thieves. I used to work at a bookstore and we did that with shoplifters. Good times.

    May 29, 2007 at 9:10 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #6   cape buffalo

    that first one needs to be forwarded to the overlords at the unnecessary quotation marks blog.

    May 29, 2007 at 9:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #7   krkbaker

    It seems that hot pockets may perhaps be the car radios of a shared freezer. Perhaps easier to steal because it only takes a couple of minutes to cook them. So you’re in and out. Funny. kim

    May 29, 2007 at 10:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #8   Tatyana

    I LOVE hotpockets, and have been said to closely resemble one.

    May 29, 2007 at 10:24 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   hotpocket fan

      you make me mighty curious. how do you look like?

      Aug 12, 2008 at 3:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #9   Lara

    Hot pocket theifs should be dealt with by using the fullest extent of the law.

    May 29, 2007 at 10:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   joebec

    OMG, hot pockets really ARE that good! i’m gonna have to try them for myself. i wonder who’s i can steal… LOL :D

    May 29, 2007 at 11:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   Lexi

    People at my work LOVE to steal hotpockets (or my lean pockets). I have had them stolen from me multiple times. I can’t write a note cause HR would no approve of that. Oh well. The only thing I can do is continue to write my name on the box and keep my fingers crossed.

    May 29, 2007 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   Chriz

    Whom needs a grammar lesson?

    May 29, 2007 at 10:22 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   L

      Haha! I was just thinking the same thing. I hate it when people write angry letters and they try to sound smart by using “whom” or other grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors. Doing these things lessens the effectiveness of their argument(s). No one is perfect but come on!

      May 22, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   PandoraWombat bang

      But irregardless, whom are us to criticize?

      Aug 3, 2008 at 12:06 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

  • #13   bluespike

    love the sad smiley in the first one

    May 30, 2007 at 12:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   whatladder

    That reminds me of my mother’s favourite joke:

    Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    F*ck who?
    F*uck WHOM.

    May 30, 2007 at 1:30 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #15   themrs07

    Hot pockets are effin disgusting. Who the hell would be desperate enough to steal ‘em MUST be hungrier than hell.. let ‘em have ‘em. Ugh.

    May 30, 2007 at 5:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mayor of Poetry

      I believe you mean WHOM the hell would be desperate enough to steal ‘em…

      Dec 4, 2008 at 6:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   seamus

    Jim Gaffigan has a joke that goes something like:

    “You what no one has ever said before? ‘Wow, eating that Hot Pocket sure was a good idea. I am glad I did that.’”

    May 30, 2007 at 10:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #17   scottyf311

    If hot pockets weren’t so portable and delicious, this wouldn’t be a problem, now huh???

    May 31, 2007 at 2:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #18   Hamilton Lovecraft

    This aggression will not stand, man!

    Jun 1, 2007 at 1:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #19   LQP

    Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

    Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
    I hope that it tastes like guilt,
    So hot and delish

    The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets.

    I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

    Jun 1, 2007 at 10:49 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #20   Hellen

    Jim Gaffigan – Hot Pocketsssss…..Pope Pocketsssss!!! (Just go to YouTube and type in hot pockets and his name, Jim Gaffigan, you will die from laughing!!!!)

    Jun 4, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #21   Janey

    Yuck. I HATE Hotpockets. I’m not sure why anybody would want to steal them, let alone buy them.

    I agree with Hellen about Jim Gaffigan’s standup – hilarious!

    Jun 14, 2007 at 10:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #22   Brian

    My musical comedy duo wrote a song about hot pockets. It turned out to be a pretty good recording. check

    Oct 11, 2007 at 10:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #23   eBay Saver! Find out how

    I had some A**Hole at work who would drink some of my 1/2 gallon milk daily that I kept in a community fridge at work. I never figured out who it was, but I got ‘em good! I diluted the milk with my golden sweet urine!

    Nov 28, 2007 at 12:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #24   GezD bang

    #3 “…it’s plethora of grammar mistakes.” I see what you did there; you were being ironic.

    Dec 1, 2007 at 7:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #25   artstarr bang

    what kind of bastard would steal a hot pocket. that is just not cool…

    Jun 1, 2008 at 2:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #26   bangin'drums

    The last picture is so great, the guy posing with the Hotpockets. Then the guy above him that stole 2 slimfasts! Hilarious, I want to go to this store and steal something just so they take my pic.

    Sep 8, 2008 at 5:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #27   i

    Keep your sticky fingers out of my hot pockets!

    Feb 26, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #28   Some of us have OCD. |

    [...] the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. and a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna [...]

    Nov 24, 2009 at 1:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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