Cereal killer

June 3rd, 2007 · 21 comments

“My roommate Ian kept eating all the cereal I bought before I had a chance to have even a single bowl,” Dan says. Apparently the Cap’n decided to take matters into his own hands.

If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I'll kill you in your sleep.

If you can’t read it, the Cap’n is saying: “Ian, If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. Love, Dan.”

FILED UNDER: cereal · excessive underlining · food · not-so-veiled threats · roommates · signed with love · stealing


21 responses so far ↓

  • #1   maisnon

    The title! So groan-worthy! But also, so perfect! ;)

    Jun 3, 2007 at 12:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Anhoni

    I love it! And it’s not really all that passive is it? It’s just straight up aggressive. Nice.

    Jun 3, 2007 at 12:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   dailypiglet

    i totally cannot blame dan, i think he’s taking the right measures for this problem. go dan!

    Jun 3, 2007 at 1:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   mel

    Don’t mess with anyone’s Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries, dammit! Excellent use of “Call-Out” interaction!

    Jun 3, 2007 at 1:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   letters

    gosh,
    i had a room-mate named dan, but he was never this mean.

    ian in hamburg

    Jun 3, 2007 at 5:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   erin

    My favorite part is the “Love, Dan”… way to show him that you still care but will not tolerate the cereal-swiping LOL

    Jun 3, 2007 at 8:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Lauren

    LOL Oh man. I love the evilness. Too great. If I were Ian I’d be shaking in my jammies.

    Do you think this would work for my Golden Grahams???

    Jun 4, 2007 at 3:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   oldskychaos

    Such a lovely advert for captain crunch’s. Maybe they should use that in a commercial of how their cereal is sooo addictively good that it turns people into killers just to protect their precious cereal stash.

    Jun 4, 2007 at 10:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   dazey

    Love it. Lucky for me my roomie is nice and lets me eat her cereal because I ALWAYS do it.

    Jun 4, 2007 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   lemare

    Crunch berries are sacred… and the perfect ratio per spoon full is three biscuits per berry. And it still kind of makes the roof of my mouth raw. To think of someone STEALING it.

    This is why I live alone.

    Jun 4, 2007 at 11:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   wealthyspirit57

    I love this sh*t! Thank you, I feel that I can deal
    with my passive/aggressive client a lot easier now. Although she’ll probably wonder why I’m
    grinnin’ at her.

    Jun 5, 2007 at 12:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Dave

    Ceral killer..lmao I will kill you in your sleep…damn thats some rough stuff

    Jun 5, 2007 at 7:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Jonathan Stroud

    I know these guys! It’s just like seeing my ex on “hot girls with douchebags …” This proliferation of call-out websites keeps featuring my friends. It’s like an internet “site-ing.” Will post the notes my roommates have left recently …

    “Please refill the brita after drinking it, so that there is more than 1/2 cup in the bottom. p.s. Serious funk in the coffee machine.”

    Jun 8, 2007 at 7:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Mithel

    Totally justified. Never take a man’s cereal.

    Jun 8, 2007 at 9:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Mr Man

    What’s wrong with this? I hate it when my roomie eats my food – buy your own damnit!

    Jun 27, 2007 at 5:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   bobby

    Sounds like it’s your own fault for not eating your cereal fast enough. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

    Jul 14, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Miss Unloop

    Aye aye, Cap’n!

    Jul 26, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   just_me

    so no one has said it???

    that cereal is fucking delicious

    Aug 5, 2008 at 2:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   hey!

    posting your own note is laaaame.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 8:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Honey bunches of “hands off!” | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

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    Jan 13, 2010 at 3:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Roommate poison | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

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