26 responses so far ↓

• #1   Gwen

  Yes! A hometown entry! That just made my day.

  Jun 12, 2007 at 8:40 pm   rating: 90  
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• #2   Peter

  Aww, it would have been so much better without the explanation in small writing.

  Jun 12, 2007 at 8:55 pm   rating: 90  
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• #3   Erin

  I think the “Love” really adds to the mood of this note.

  Jun 12, 2007 at 8:56 pm   rating: 90  
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• #4   Jen

  I think it would have been more effective with “Quit fucking taking my paper” as “fucking” should modify the deplorable act of stealing someone’s paper and not the paper itself. But still, as is, one of my favorites.

  Jun 12, 2007 at 10:20 pm   rating: 90  
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• #5   mothmanbr

  I agree with Peter. Other than that, it rules!

  Jun 13, 2007 at 1:02 am   rating: 90  
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• #6   mal

  I had this problem once and solved it by swapping the paper for an old paper with a threatening note inside, telling them that next time open the door while they were at it and sic my dog on them. I was hoping that the jerk would take it to work or something, and would accidentally tip off others that they knew so they’d be outed. In any case, the bait and switch with nasty gram inside stopped the paper thefts.

  Jun 13, 2007 at 4:06 am   rating: 90  
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• #7   eh

  team apt #3

  Jun 13, 2007 at 8:18 am   rating: 90  
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• #8   Sarah

  I had neighbors who used to read my paper on the front stoop in the morning while waiting for their ride. Which didn’t bother me except that they’d never put the rubber band back on, so more than once I’d come down to find sections of my newspaper blown all over the place.

  I contemplated leaving a passive-aggressive note, but they moved out before it came to that.

  Jun 13, 2007 at 8:23 am   rating: 90  
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• #9   joebec

  haha! “Love, Apt 3″ that is fab!

  Jun 13, 2007 at 8:32 am   rating: 90  
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• #10   Brigid Keely

  When I was in college I had a subscription to the Tribune, which I’d pick up (along with my mail) at the front desk. More than once I picked up a paper that was missing all the ads, the sports section, and the Tempo section (with the funnies and crossword puzzle) because the mail room staff and/or desk workers wanted to read the paper. Sometimes they’d say the papers hadn’t been delivered that day, when really they’d read and discarded the newspapers themselves.

  It was infuriating.

  I am behind this note 100%.

  Jun 13, 2007 at 8:45 am   rating: 90  
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• #11   the other erin

  I had this problem so often at my old place that I had to cancel my subscription… I wish I had seen this then!

  Jun 13, 2007 at 9:25 am   rating: 90  
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• #12   I Zimbra

  Apt. #3, you are my hero! Can we be friends?

  Jun 13, 2007 at 11:44 am   rating: 90  
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• #13   No Way

  I had this same problem, and used the same solution as Mal (above) minus the dog part. I thought I was so clever…but apparently not the first person to think of the old “bait and switch.” However, IT WORKED and hopefully shamed the offender as well. And it was also the Chicago Tribune, Brigid Keely, apparently a very theft-worthy paper!

  Jun 13, 2007 at 12:16 pm   rating: 90  
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• #14   Tavie

  I had the same problem with my NYTimes. Had to cancel.
  Down with paper-stealers!

  Jun 14, 2007 at 8:28 am   rating: 90  
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• #15   Hermann

  I don’t think this note (like many on your site) is actually passively aggressive. If you know who is stealing your paper, yeah, it’s passive. Since knocking on every door in your building and berating each other tenant for possibly taking your paper would be crazy, this note seems appropriate aggressive, with no passivity.

  Jun 14, 2007 at 6:21 pm   rating: 90  
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• #16   Butchie

  I love that note.

  Jun 15, 2007 at 10:39 am   rating: 90  
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• #17   your mom

  im in ur apartmentz, steelin ur p4perz

  Jun 17, 2007 at 7:59 am   rating: 90  
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• #18   RaggDolly121

  omg, I SOO agree with apt. #3! I’m a writer, and you would be going DOWN if you stole my paper. Team Paper!

  Jul 3, 2007 at 9:53 am   rating: 90  
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• #19   Karen

  That used to happen to me until my friend came up with an idea. We were up late nights, so one Sunday morning we heard the paperguy drop the paper on the step.

  My friend pulled the new paper out of the plastic wrap, put an old paper in and headed upstairs to the cat box. He tucked a few smelly goodies inside the pages.

  We never missed a day’s newspaper again. Heh.

  Jul 23, 2007 at 8:32 pm   rating: 90  
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• #20   Jay

  Haha, the best hate notes are signed off with “love”

  Aug 10, 2007 at 8:17 am   rating: 90  
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• #21   free markets, free people, free papers

  [...] our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one. [...]

  Oct 19, 2007 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  
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• #22   Jeremy

  That fucking paper was fucking delicious!

  Feb 26, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 90  
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• #23   what’s black, white and totally over?

  [...] related: love, apt. #3 [...]

  Dec 11, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 90  
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• #24   Danbala

  Hmm … “fucking paper” – is that like a porn mag?

  Mar 5, 2009 at 5:47 am   rating: 90  
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• #25   scott

  i’m a few years late on this entry but have to chime in with my brother’s story.

  His neighbor (across the hall) used to steal his Sunday paper every week. He watched her through the peephole one day and noticed that she just grabbed it and threw it in her apartment when she left in the morning.

  He woke up early the next week and filled it with all the cigarette butts and ashes from the smoking pit outside. She stole it just like usual and flung the bag into her apartment. It never happened again.

  Jul 8, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 90  
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