(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)
related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · Wisconsin
Wow, this may be the most passively-aggressive (or aggressively passive?) note ever. So awesome.
Jun 14, 2007 at 6:07 am rating: 17
Brilliant! I particularly love the XOXO after “I will kill you in your sleep.” Makes the threat sound more thoughtful.
Jun 14, 2007 at 6:13 am rating: 25
Doesn’t it look like a note got taped over with this big note?
I wonder what was on that one? I bet that note contained a kind reference to the huge amount of unclean kitchen utensils!
Jun 14, 2007 at 6:24 am rating: 5
classic, this guy’s really angry!!
Jun 14, 2007 at 6:59 am rating: 0
Wow. Just, WOW.
Jun 14, 2007 at 7:29 am rating: 1
I want to marry the author of this note and discuss dishes at length.
Jun 14, 2007 at 7:44 am rating: 36
This is, by far, my favorite note yet!! Hands down!!
Jun 14, 2007 at 7:45 am rating: 6
The best ever. I love how he will dump the dishes on the floor! I was laughing at the end. This boy is definitely NOT passive aggressive, but his note is.
Jun 14, 2007 at 7:58 am rating: 5
I love it. I’m going to study it and learn from it.
Jun 14, 2007 at 8:44 am rating: 9
“elaborate gourmet dinners”? where’s my invite?
this note takes it, way overboard!
Jun 14, 2007 at 8:50 am rating: 1
Now that’s passive aggressive!
Jun 14, 2007 at 9:05 am rating: 0
Excellent example of passive-aggressiveness. Though Eric probably believes all his assumed pretentious wordiness at the beginning makes him sound smart, it has the opposite effect.
Jun 14, 2007 at 9:14 am rating: 2
Wow. Gold medal.
Jun 14, 2007 at 9:25 am rating: 3
Yeah, I kind of have a crush on this guy. Rather witty.
And it was a good mix of passive aggressiveness, humor and sarcasm- so if I was his roommate I would probably be mad, laugh, and then do my dishes.
Jun 14, 2007 at 9:27 am rating: 12
That is AWESOME. I think there should be a feature on this site to rate notes, because this one goes all the way up to 11.
Jun 14, 2007 at 9:37 am rating: 10
I bet this guy is awesome to be around. this has to be the best ever. Love it!
Jun 14, 2007 at 9:51 am rating: 3
THIS IS THE BEST NOTE EVER! YES I HAD TO YELL THAT!
Jun 14, 2007 at 10:06 am rating: 3
I think this must be the sequel, with the paper hanging up behind this note. ‘Wonder what that one says….
This one is great though…
Jun 14, 2007 at 10:08 am rating: 1
“Though Eric probably believes all his assumed pretentious wordiness at the beginning makes him sound smart, it has the opposite effect.”
Agargara – I think the wordiness was for comic effect. What a great note!
Jun 14, 2007 at 10:42 am rating: 7
So many things about this note make it genius. Right now I’m a little in love with the “xoxo” after the “I will kill you in my sleep.” However, I don’t get the part about “intestines.”
Maybe Eric would give permission to put this on a T-shirt? I’d wear it.
Jun 14, 2007 at 11:56 am rating: 1
i don’t understand why the guy has a problem with there being dishes in the sink at all. sure, if it’s a huge pile and you can’t even use the faucet… but the guy is like, “if you put even one dish in the sink at any time, i will throw it on the floor.” wow, pull the wooden spoon out of your ass, guy.
Jun 14, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
This guy is the king.
Jun 14, 2007 at 12:47 pm rating: 0
@Midge: If the dirty dishes are laying around, then maybe the person who left them dirty will clean them.
Jun 14, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 1
This HAS to be the best, by far. I want to have his sarcastic babies.
Jun 14, 2007 at 2:06 pm rating: 11
If I had a roommate that amusing, I’d do his dishes for a month, happily. There are notes, and then there are Dostoevskian epics disguised as notes. And this guy just produced the ‘Notes from Underground’ of helpful notices to all housemates everywhere.
Jun 14, 2007 at 4:55 pm rating: 9
Having gone through exactly the same thing, I find myself irresistibly attracted to this man. I would like to do his dishes, ifyaknowwhatImean.
Jun 14, 2007 at 5:41 pm rating: 5
Seriously, this roomie has just earned a right to never suds a plate again. Your website dwarfs mine. http://literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com/
Jun 14, 2007 at 6:03 pm rating: 0
Wowza. I wanna hang out with this guy.
Jun 14, 2007 at 6:12 pm rating: 1
Holy crap. He could have moved into a new place in the time it took to look up those words and write that tome.
Jun 14, 2007 at 8:30 pm rating: 0
Hilarious note, for sure but the whole throwing the dishes on the floor/around the house thing? Man, that sounds like an invite to roaches & ants!
Jun 14, 2007 at 8:41 pm rating: 0
Best. Note. Ever. heeheeheehee
Jun 14, 2007 at 10:25 pm rating: 0
Jun 15, 2007 at 3:36 am rating: 0
“How’s that for an instestine, Benson” could easily become the new “All your base”. Where do I get the bumpersticker?
Jun 15, 2007 at 7:37 am rating: 3
that is great! i especially like how he finished up the death threat with the “xoxo” hugs and kisses. firm but fair!
Jun 15, 2007 at 8:46 am rating: 2
Well… the same person wrote the note underneath it (check out the letters you can see, they’re the same). I wonder what that one said…
Jun 15, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: 1
I lived in this house. It got pretty hostile fo ra while. Another of my old roommates posted the pic.
There were others in this series. I’ll post them if I can find some pictures (I think we even saved the notes).
Jun 15, 2007 at 3:29 pm rating: 4
I soooo want the tee shirt that says “Howâ€™s that for an intestine, Benson?” or “I will kill you in your sleep. xoxo”
passiveaggressivenotes.com keeper, you should make that happen; the best quotes on a tee shirt. http://www.zazzle.com/
I also would buy one that said “may the sanctity of the sink prevail.” awesome.
Jun 15, 2007 at 7:14 pm rating: 3
i wanna make out with this guy. and have his awesome babies.
i’ll kill you in your sleep. xoxo
Jun 16, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: 1
you should see him when he’s drunk
Jun 16, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 0
I second willb’s suggestion: t-shirts with slogans from posts on this site. What an original marketing concept!
Jun 16, 2007 at 7:44 pm rating: 2
Best. Passive-aggressive. Note. Ever.
Jun 17, 2007 at 9:55 pm rating: 1
This guy is now famous. The Guardian newspaper in the UK printed this note on p2 on Saturday June 16th 2007.
Jun 18, 2007 at 2:06 am rating: 0
OMG. I’m so happy. There are tears in my eyes.
This note may have saved my marriage.
Naah. But, it’s really good. Best yet.
Jun 19, 2007 at 7:54 pm rating: 1
This is brilliant and classic. Thanks for the huge smile for the best note so far.
Jun 26, 2007 at 7:04 am rating: 0
God i just want to kiss him, lol, this the be note ever! my fav part is the “Suttle” but deadly threat at the end. its so funny.
Jun 28, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
God i just want to kiss him, lol, this has to be the note ever! my fav part is the “Suttle” but deadly threat at the end. its so funny.
Jeez, he’s like my mom!
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:09 pm rating: 0
Brilliant. Absolutley brilliant. There are no words that could accurately describe the sheer imagination and wit that went behind this masterpiece. If this guy was a band, he’d be The Beatles, Mozart and Prince all rolled into one.
Jul 3, 2007 at 5:50 pm rating: 1
I think maybe that’s Eric’s first note about the dishes we can see sticking out underneath this one. Benson probably made some crack about the first one being long as an intestine…
Bad move, Benson.
PS: Midge, a sink is not a holding bay for dirty dishes, there should only be dishes in a sink when they are being washed. The rest of the time the sink should be kept empty so other people can use it. xoxo
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:25 am rating: 7
It's the principle!
haha. This is GREAT! May the sanctity of the sink prevail!
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:37 pm rating: 0
Absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen………………………………
Jul 11, 2007 at 10:19 pm rating: 1
I’ve lived this… I feel for him.
Jul 13, 2007 at 10:21 am rating: 0
intestines – is probably refering to his gut.
they probably thought he didn’t have the guts to do it. “shrugs”
Jul 13, 2007 at 1:43 pm rating: 1
whohhhw!!its brilliant!i love the author!!mabuhay!!
Jul 13, 2007 at 2:24 pm rating: 0
I can’t help but love such a smart ass! Being a mom of three kids (my 10yr old and 15 yr old are completely capable but rarely help) and a husband that works a lot, I get stuck with dishes as much as three or four times a day! Dishes are just one of the chores on top of dusting, bathroom scrubbing, vacuuming, sweeping, watching a 7 mo. old, and yes, even yard work. I get soooo little help it’s pathetic… sometimes I get on a cleaning rampage that involves a lot of bitching while I’m scrubbing their piss off of the toilet or doing their dishes for the 50th time that week. Then they all look at me like I’m some raving psycho bitch that’s totally overreacting. It is a very frustrating feeling when they all look at me like I’m such a bitch for pointing out their mess or if I make them help clean. I’m not a bitch! I’m just completely overwhelmed at being a slave to four other people in the home that do nothing.
Jul 14, 2007 at 10:22 am rating: 3
so why don’t you do something about it?
MAKE them change their behaviour!
you’re the parent – you’re supposed to be the boss – act like one….or people will just continue to take advantage of you!
Jul 29, 2008 at 2:00 am rating: 2
Do what? This post is over a year old!
Jul 29, 2008 at 2:23 am rating: 0
OMG i love this note! i swear it just made my…well it is 1:45 (somewat)am….I do so adore the author! it is extremely hilarious! i love u…whoever made the note!
Jul 15, 2007 at 10:44 pm rating: 2
that is passively aggressive note..
Jul 16, 2007 at 4:04 am rating: 0
I hope the remaining housemates kicked the message writer out! Do you want a fucking medal for cleaning up?
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:36 am rating: 0
What an ass. Why write three pages of bullshit? Just talk to people, already!
Jul 16, 2007 at 10:16 am rating: 0
Phil, you realize you are on a website called passiveaggressivenotes.com?
Jul 16, 2007 at 10:58 am rating: 3
OH my god…these girls are right–i would KILL to have a few minutes with this guy!
His brilliance and incredible-ness is overwhelming to me–all i can say is, “Let me do YOUR dishes!” (ifyouknowwhatimean, indeed!)
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:16 pm rating: 2
What have you guys done with the meaning of “passively aggressive”? Nothing to do at all with passive aggression, unless I don’t have a clue what that is. Sarcasm I say. Brush up your idiom folks.
Jul 17, 2007 at 4:34 pm rating: 0
Agargara: No; actually what you call “pretentious wordiness” I like to call “articulation” and “savvy command of vocabulary.” Which not only makes him definitely “sound smart,” it also makes me think he probably actually *is* smart. The cherry on that is his dry sense of humor. If a cherry can be dry. As you can see, I’m a genius.
Anyway, you’re weird.
Jul 17, 2007 at 7:25 pm rating: 3
What betterbug said. This is comic-aggressive, sarcastic-aggressive, but it’s certainly not passive.
Passive aggressive: “Dear Roomies, Please note we are out of hand cream as I used it all up due to severe dry skin after spending 5 hours washing up yesterday.”
Regular aggressive: “I will kill you in your sleep oxox”
Jul 19, 2007 at 3:14 am rating: 1
i want his phone #.
Jul 28, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: 0
That was a lot of talking on paper. I’m sure he will retire to his room, resume puffing away that fat joint he rolled, and write some more in his journal about how clean he made the world.
Aug 7, 2007 at 7:41 pm rating: 0
I think this one is my all time favorite on here!
Aug 8, 2007 at 7:38 pm rating: 1
Has it been established if this guy has a girlfriend yet? I have a BIG crush on him just from reading this bit of passive-aggressiveness.
Dec 1, 2007 at 8:01 pm rating: 2
Yeah, I’m Eric’s wife. We were not living together when he wrote this, but the sad thing is I still make him do all the dishes. I think that there were other notes, but we haven’t found them yet.
Jan 5, 2008 at 8:41 pm rating: 1
I think i need to marry this guy. Really if i had the guts this note would be posted over my sink. only i dont think i would be able to do it so pleasently
Feb 21, 2008 at 1:54 am rating: 1
“Have some day-olds you fat fucks.”
That’s still my favorite line from Blair St.
Feb 25, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
I need you to explain this to me. I’m going to go back and re-read this. But seriously. So. He left piles of dishes in the sink but was mad that other people also left their smaller dishes in the sink? Or… he cleaned up EVERYONE’s dishes and was being sarcastic about gourmet dinners, indicating he doesn’t actually dirty dishes? Or… They were like, “Dude, clean your dishes” and he was like, “They’re not all my dishes.” I’m going to go back and re-read this.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
You know sarcasm? It’s everywhere in this note.
Jul 15, 2008 at 11:16 pm rating: 1
I had a roommate once who used every dish in the house & didn’t wash them. I came home one day to find all of the dishes gone. He wouldn’t tell me what he did with them but I’m pretty sure he BURIED them in the backyard.
Sep 3, 2008 at 7:55 pm rating: 1
Hands down the best note ever. I’d like to “wash his dishes” also. As silly as I feel I sound, this guy sounds amazing.
Sep 30, 2008 at 2:59 am rating: 1
who is this guy, and will he marry me?
Nov 5, 2008 at 2:05 pm rating: 1
Did you see Simons arrive on Brtiatn got capacity when Susan Boyle stareted to peep? That was a impacter for every one! I v seen it hundred times already! lol
Apr 22, 2009 at 7:13 am rating: 0
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Apr 22, 2009 at 11:45 am rating: 0
With this swine flu crap we cannot go to Mexico! We got tickets and caboodle that sucks ass!!!
Apr 29, 2009 at 9:57 pm rating: 0
Are you compeling for the summer vacation? Sun should be hot as not at any time in the future!!:) anticipation my ac desire pay up on me! Any plans?
May 2, 2009 at 12:23 am rating: 0
I infatuation my bacon championing breakfast! And I m not gonna restrain eating it! Flu is airborn virus if you cook nutriment it dies!
May 2, 2009 at 6:16 pm rating: 1
Flu viruses are born in the air?
May 2, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: 1
I ve met a guy yerstaday on a partisans!? He gave me this element or perhaps I ve misspeled it? Is Joe here?
May 2, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: 0
I infatuation my bacon for breakfast! And I m not gonna cut off eating it! Flu is airborn virus if you cook nutriment it dies!
May 3, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: 0
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May 9, 2009 at 4:18 am rating: 0
Are you kidding me!!??? Swine FLU??? In sommer in heat? Is it balance out possible? I am from Cali and I upset! stand sturdy!
May 9, 2009 at 10:56 am rating: 0
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May 9, 2009 at 6:24 pm rating: 0
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May 9, 2009 at 8:12 pm rating: 0
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May 10, 2009 at 7:23 am rating: 0
Are you kidding me!!??? Swine FLU??? In sommer in heat? Is it equal possible? I am from Cali and I ill at ease! Arrest nourishing!
May 10, 2009 at 12:24 pm rating: 0
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May 10, 2009 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
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Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
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now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?