those of you that side consistently with team passive-aggressive might enjoy this excerpt from ian urbina’s book, life’s little annoyances.
urbina’s thesis: “criticizing something for being passive-aggressive is like faulting a tactic for being discreet. just as there are times when subtlety is the worst approach, there are also times when passive aggression is the best.”
as an example, he describes booby-trapping a pint of ice cream with a layer of salt (without leaving a note of warning for the roommates.) the culprit’s response is the best part:
She was livid and—perhaps rightly—she accused me of taking my ice cream way too seriously. Indignant at the passive aggression in my actions, she gave an explanation for her behavior that was as self-righteous as it was lame: she said that she had a near-pathological weak spot for ice cream and that if it was anywhere within reach she had no way of resisting it. She seemed surprised that I wasn’t more sympathetic to her condition.
reddit!
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18 responses so far ↓
#1 mothmanbr
Wow, now that’s a serious illness.
Jun 17, 2007 at 12:03 pm rating: 0
#2 jeneria
If that ever enters the DSM-IV then I’m in business! I’m claiming inability to work, to go grocery shopping, to enjoy summer–anything that may put me near ice cream. I’m going to demand that my employers (if I choose to work) keep ice cream on hand at all times and if they choose not to, then I’ll sue them for discrimination. A whole new world just opened up for me. . .pathological weak spot for ice cream.
I hate it when people use the “I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you feel that you should be mad at me,” defense. Yeah, it’s my fault you’re an asshole. Right.
Jun 17, 2007 at 1:01 pm rating: 0
#3 Irish
LOL That’s almost as bad as placing the contents from a ramen noodle flavor packet in the shower head!
It’ll be several days before THAT smell gets out of your hair
Jun 17, 2007 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
#4 passive-aggressive fanmail action!
[...] passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers ← in praise of passive-aggression [...]
Jun 17, 2007 at 3:46 pm rating: 0
#5 Kat
I have that book and laughed at her response… it’s utter bullcrap. Anyone can resist eating someone else’s food. She doesn’t steal ice cream from the grocery store, does she?
Jun 17, 2007 at 8:08 pm rating: 0
#6 Monica
I dunno . . . I can’t resist eating my roommate’s candy/chocolates. I can resist stealing it from a grocery store because I can get arrested. My roommate doesn’t have that power. Thankfully! :o)
But there’s a difference between stealing it and replacing it, and just plain stealing it. Boo to the non-replacers!
Jun 17, 2007 at 8:42 pm rating: 0
#7 Juno Henry
OK, this:
“She seemed surprised that I wasn’t more sympathetic to her condition”
just made me laugh so much i nearly spat out a kidney.
And the comments above didn’t help me any ;-)… at the rate i’m going, if i keep reading here, i’ll be sans a full set of organs within a week.
BTW:
Irish — thank you for a fabulous idea.
Monica — if you replace it — it ain’t stealin’! (Technically, once the replacement has been made, anyway…)
Jun 17, 2007 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#8 joebec
the way i see it is this. if it isn’t YOURS, then if you eat or use it and it’s messed up purposely by it’s righful owner you can’t say shit. you look stupid. period.
Jun 18, 2007 at 12:52 pm rating: 0
#9 passive-aggressive challenge #2: don't take my beer
[...] can” approach: booby-trapping a food item with laxatives, bodily fluids, or another type of foul-tasting/toxic [...]
Jun 18, 2007 at 1:06 pm rating: 0
#10 Elizabeth
I totally disagree Juno Henry- replacing does not undo the act of stealing. Yes, it is nice if you replace what you stole, but the fact remains that you took something that wasn’t yours without the permission of the rightful owner.
Jun 18, 2007 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
#11 Irish
My pleasure, Juno lol
Jun 18, 2007 at 6:12 pm rating: 0
#12 Trickster
I used to have problems with people drinking my milk. Since I drink milk with my tea, and I am a large consumer of tea, not having milk in the house will ruin a whole day for me. One day, after having read about it in a fictional book, I did what the hero of the book had done. I took a black marker and I wrote “Experiment” on the milk carton. Works wonders!
Jun 19, 2007 at 2:49 am rating: 0
#13 Katfo
It’s kind of like filling your medicine cabinet with marbles to nail unwary snoopers. (I haven’t actually heard of anyone doing this, but it was in Miss Manners.)
Jun 19, 2007 at 5:41 pm rating: 0
#14 RaggDolly121
I agree with Elizabeth-why would you want to feel guilty?!
Jul 3, 2007 at 9:36 am rating: 0
#15 just sayin'
“Indignant at the passive aggression in my actions, she gave an explanation for her behavior that was as self-righteous as it was lame…”
this crap gets published? most people wouldn’t be able to write a sentence that bad without trying.
Jul 8, 2007 at 3:25 am rating: 0
#16 John
If it was me, my “fair cop” reaction would be quickly overtaken by a mischievous desire for escalation. I’m thinking cut out the bottom of the carton, eat your way upwards over a period of days, (replacing it in the freezer before it starts dripping out), and see what happens. I mean yeah, food stealing sucks, but if you’re gonna turn it into a game…
Apr 2, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: +1
#17 pickledami
I have a near-pathological weak -spot for breaking my foot off in her ass and if it’s anywhere within reach I have no way of resisting it. Yes, that makes perfect sense to me.
Jun 2, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: 0
#18 bobby
She should be like, “Damn, I got caught!” She is not the victim here. Also: emailing instead of asking outright? Very passive-aggressive.
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm rating: 0
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