An anonymous Brooklyn mom sends in this choice — dare we say priceless — example of Park Slope’s well-documented mama drama.
related: No money, no trophy
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Brooklyn · e-mail · Moms & Dads · money · Park Slope · public shaming · rebuttals
"customer service" "helpful" advice actually totally reasonable a little patronizing anthropomorphism Australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach Boston California Canada CAPS LOCK car cats Chicago Christmas cleaning clip art catastrophe college life confusion??? crazypants D.C. dishes dogs e-mail etiquette excessive underlining exclamation-point happy!!!! Facebook family Florida flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens food frenemies garbage God guilt trip heart holiday spirit hygiene irregular capitalization Jesus kids kitchen landlords and property managers London Los Angeles Massachusetts mean girls Michigan Moms & Dads money more aggressive than passive most popular notes of 2010 most popular notes of 2011 most popular notes of 2012 most popular notes of 2013 Mother-daughter notes neighbors New York noise not-so-veiled threats note wars now that's management odor office office fridge oh snap old folks Oops? p.s. parking piss public shaming questionable logic rebuttals restaurant retail hell roommates San Francisco sarcasm schools & teachers Seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smartass smiley spelling and grammar police stealing Texas thanks (but not really) that's disgusting TL;DR toilet toilet paper U.K. unnecessary "quotation marks" unsolicited feedback visual aids warning whiteboard WTF? You call that punctuation?
87 responses so far ↓
#1
Nattie
Hehe love the “talk to you soon” at the end xD
Jun 25, 2007 at 5:12 am rating: 90
#2
MB
I only gave $4.33 and a stick of gum
Jun 25, 2007 at 5:49 am rating: 90
#3
Juno Henry
Nattie said EXACTLY what i was going to say. LOL!!! That creased me up!
Jun 25, 2007 at 5:51 am rating: 90
#4
metaljaybird
Man that was long.
Jun 25, 2007 at 6:09 am rating: 90
#5
kelmeister
This is EXACTLY why I never contribute anything to collections at work. I don’t give, and I don’t expect anything in return. All these things are are opportunities for people to later gossip about how cheap/flaunting their wealth others are. Screw that. If you want to give someone a gift, buy it and give it on your own.
Jun 25, 2007 at 6:09 am rating: 90
#6
Shuni
If only we could combine the anal-rententive in this post with the poo-flinger in the last one, we’d have 2 normal human beings…
Jun 25, 2007 at 6:26 am rating: 90
#7
Lovecarrots
Why does having children make people so ready to disappear up their own arses at the drop of a hat?
Jun 25, 2007 at 6:49 am rating: 90
#8
Sandy
I am confused…as funny as it was…I can’t help but think that second emailer was reading too much into the first email…unless of course there were other emails that we haven’t seen or gossip that was said but not put down to paper or computer…
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:02 am rating: 90
#9
Linda
I like the fact that the second writer used the phrase, “carelessly tarnished my integrity”. Gimme a break!
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:10 am rating: 90
#10
Brigid Keely
Where there previous emails I didn’t see which alleged that minorities were stingy? Or was the responder simply reacting to criticism that wasn’t there?
Man.
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:23 am rating: 90
#11
Andrew L.
I’m with Sandy. Either we’re missing something here, or points 4, 5, and 6 are just completely off the wall.
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:27 am rating: 90
#12
Peggy
“I look forward to your written apology”?!? That part blows me away more than anything. What a self-absorbed, entitled bitch.
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:35 am rating: 90
#13
Joanna
Have your people call my people.
Poor kids…
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:55 am rating: 90
#14
stopthepresses
You know what, I was totally careful when I tarnished your integrity. I demand an apology.
love,
Xxxx
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:59 am rating: 90
#15
Meeg
what a bitch. i’d send out a mass email being like “i take note of your ‘opportunity to apologise’” and just leave it at that.
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:00 am rating: 90
#16
Meeg
and let’s leave stereotyping aside? the original email didnt even mention minorities?
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:03 am rating: 90
#17
vib
“…have spent a lot of time rethinking and reanalyzing everything.” Wow. She really did a good job in “analyzing” the original email. Unfortunately the result is a bit… strange
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:11 am rating: 90
#18
jules
Dear Mommy #2,
I am so sorry you are such a b****.
Sincerely,
Mommy #1
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:23 am rating: 90
#19
hopefulgirl
yeah, i want to bitch slap writer #2.
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:37 am rating: 90
#20
mandi
Hmm… “Reply To All” is pretty much the worst thing you can do in a situation like this; I wonder what the rest of the group was thinking. Will they all be waiting for a copy of the written apology, too?
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:41 am rating: 90
#21
steph
mommy #2 uses way to many commas
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:43 am rating: 90
#22
Al Hanso
Wow. Molehill -> Mountain. There must be some backstory between these two. I’d like to know where the drama goes from here.
Jun 25, 2007 at 9:30 am rating: 90
#23
Nunya
This second mom had to be really angry to write that long azz reply. These two need to take their conversation private because it’s only making them both look bad. All this from what is supposed to be charitable giving. Geez.
Jun 25, 2007 at 9:30 am rating: 90
#24
Peggy
Team Mommy #1. It’s no one’s fucking business how much you give.
Mommy #2: Mommy #1 really didn’t attack your value as a mother or as a person, but I’m ready to. You suck, and your kids hate you. Also, your husband is cheating on you.
Jun 25, 2007 at 9:40 am rating: 90
#25
Amanda
Haha @ Peggy.
Jun 25, 2007 at 9:54 am rating: 90
#26
Lisa
This is why it was better when I was growing up. None of the parents knew each other, only a handful of parents showed up to PTA meetings, and all us kids ran around playing in the dirt. There’s too much organization these days. DOWN WITH ORGANIZATION AND PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT! Mommy and Daddy are watching “Wheel of Fortune” and drinking Coors Lite. Go play somewhere.
Jun 25, 2007 at 10:14 am rating: 90
#27
Nattie
the worrying thing though…Peggy is probably right. Someone who seeks a lot of attention had to write that.
Jun 25, 2007 at 10:38 am rating: 90
#28
DUH
WOW! The art of extrapolation brought to a new high! Mom #2 managed to pull 6 bullet points from a five sentence paragraph.
Jun 25, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: 90
#29
Anonymous
The emails shown were all we saw too! Nothing about race, etc… It was weird.
Jun 25, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: 90
#30
mandi
I agree w/ Lisa. When I was in school, moms didn’t e-mail each other, they used the phone which was a lot more private than a mass e-mail. This just makes for awkward future PTA meetings.
Jun 25, 2007 at 11:51 am rating: 90
#31
Jeff
My favoruite part, is always the bad bad bad, use of commas. Come on, people, didn’t we learn this stuff in, high school, or something?
Jun 25, 2007 at 12:14 pm rating: 90
#32
Robert D'Antoni
What happened to the good old days of just sending an electronic greeting via electronic mail? This is the way of the modern age and living on the world wide web (aka www). It’s always nice to receive an ELECTRONIC greeting card in your electronic email. Afteral, you could not receive an electronic email if you didn’t have access to the www! Those little animations will fill your heart with joy, smiles, thoughtfulness and other stuff. So please no more gifts, just send a lovely electronic email, that is of course if you’re on the www (world wide web) and if you’re not then perhaps you should rethink where you are and why would you even need think this because you obviously already have this access otherwise you would not be reading this! DUH!
Jun 25, 2007 at 1:08 pm rating: 90
#33
Cassandra
“I look forward to your written apology…”
Dear So and So,
After receiving your reply, I have given some serious thought to your request for an apology. After some hardened self-examination, I have concluded that you deserve one.
I apologize for wasting my first opportunity at REALLY tarnishing your public image and doing such a lack-luster job at it. I also apologize for bringing to light the fact that you’re a self-righteous, anal-rententive blowhard bitch.
Happy Holidays, fart-knuckle!
-So and So
Jun 25, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: 90
#34
Liz
hehee… “fartknuckle”…
Anyway… my favorite part was the “I don’t think it is your place to tell me what I teach my child.” It seems like by the eight paragraph this chick had just completely lost any “reason” she was using before and just had a complete meltdown. Awesome.
Jun 25, 2007 at 1:53 pm rating: 90
#35
Karen
In the first email, I believe the…”with the emphasis on how much money was collected and from whom,” is where the second emailer is jumping to the conclusion that minorities or people of certain religions might be contributing less, which is ridiculous because the first emailer says no such thing.
Jun 25, 2007 at 3:01 pm rating: 90
#36
T
Wow, I understand the anger against mom 2, but mom 1 was a bit of a shit herself – I mean, “continue this embarrassment”? When doing accounting you have to keep detailed notes!
Jun 25, 2007 at 3:09 pm rating: 90
#37
S.S.
I agree that keeping notes is important when doing accounting…but does she really need to e-mail those notes w/names to EVERYONE else?
Answer: No
She can easily keep a separate tab for names/$ and, say, give numbers (instead of names) and amounts in the e-mail.
Jun 25, 2007 at 3:15 pm rating: 90
#38
Beppo
“I wonder what the rest of the group was thinking.”
I know what I’m thinking when I’m included on an e-mail chain like that: “Cook up some popcorn! There’s gonna be a fight!”
I especially love it when two high-level managers at work get into a pissing contest via e-mail and half the company’s on the CC: list. I call that “Clash of the Titans.”
Jun 25, 2007 at 3:19 pm rating: 90
#39
eh
it was completely tactless of the “financial analyst” to publicly display who contributed how much.
oh and where does the first writer even mention race? the second writer brings up race out of no where… makes me suspect her of being a racist.
team embarrassed!
Jun 25, 2007 at 3:49 pm rating: 90
#40
Sara no H.
The email might not say anything, but there’s a good chance these people know each other IRL and the second mother might have very good reason to believe that’s exactly what the first mother was implying. I can remember similar attitudes toward my own mother (a Filipina woman in a sea of white faces) in grade school — people assuming that she was stingy, or that she was mailing it back to “her people,” shit like that.
Either way though, they’re both being stupid with this reply-all bullshit. Keep your problems to yourself, yeesh.
Jun 25, 2007 at 3:53 pm rating: 90
#41
Potbelly
Gift funds are the worst. I say, when you join a new workplace or organization, just pay some set amount, which all goes into one pool, which is in turn divided by the number of members (which would make each allotment the same amount that each person originally paid in, btw)
Then on your birthday, they give you back your cash. Done.
Enough with being hassled to fork over cash randomly all the time so some officious nitwit can buy some overpriced spa certificate or collectible maquette for the victim-err, birthday person. It always sucks and everyone hates and resents it including the recipient.
Jun 25, 2007 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
#42
Writer, Rejected
OMG. I’m so totally glad I’m infertile!
Jun 25, 2007 at 7:24 pm rating: 90
#43
your mom
that is prime passive-agressiveness
Jun 26, 2007 at 4:26 am rating: 90
#44
Denise
In defense of Mom #2, I think it’s a safe bet that she had also heard some gossip. In my experience, before someone like Mom #1 would get up the nerve to write a note like the first one, she would first talk a lot of shit behind Mom #2′s back. Some of this would definitely get back to her, which is probably what fueled the points in her note that don’t make sense to us.
I’ve been put in the position of collecting money from my department for a charity fund (because I was out sick the day the assignment came up and got the position by default) at a workplace where there was a lot of competition for your department to give the most. Collecting the money sucks, and having people talk behind your back while you do the stupid task sucks more.
Jun 26, 2007 at 8:32 am rating: 90
#45
Mom #2 team
I’m totally on Mom #2′s side. Everyone is assuming that a list of who gave what was sent out which is a lie that Mom#1 is putting out there. In fact, Mom #2 only said how much total was collected, who contributed, and the amount of the individual contributions. List #1 (who) was independent of List #2 (how much) so unless Mom #1 has some special super secret powers or is talking sh** behind Mom #1 back, or is making a lot of stupid assumptions she has no justification for her bi***y email to Mom #2. If Mom #2 made a mistake where List #1 and List #2 could be merged by someone then pointing that out privately instead of firing off a BS, “what do we teach our children” message to everyone would have been the way to go. Mom #1 = total, racist c***.
Jun 26, 2007 at 8:48 am rating: 90
#46
Mom#2 Team is an Idiot
I’m an idiot.
Jun 26, 2007 at 10:46 am rating: 90
#47
SarahJ
Get the, comma, and apostrophe, figured out, mom.
Jun 26, 2007 at 11:29 am rating: 90
#48
Tom
Despite your thoughts on the letter, the writer dose have a valid reason for being angry in my eyes.
Assume it is true she a detailed report & her sending it only to the woman in charge (however tacky you think it is), is true.
The woman in charge was, to send out a mass reply, really the stupid bitch. It really is belittling her in front of many people she knows and interacts with.
Her reply to this womans mass email is confusing, but I do understand her anger.
Jun 26, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#49
Tom
Oops, misunderstood. She did send it to everyone.
I’m staying out of this one.
Jun 26, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
#50
Nostalgia
Cold cheese, who said anything about race or religion?
Jun 26, 2007 at 1:35 pm rating: 90
#51
Coachella
Whenever my childfree honey and I get asked what we think about kids by the breeders, we gleefully respond:
“We LOVE kids…..with extra barbecue sauce. YuM!”
cC
Jun 26, 2007 at 2:22 pm rating: 90
#52
loren
Cassandra: love the apology!
Jun 26, 2007 at 10:01 pm rating: 90
#53
Garr
Um. . .I thought mom#1 was a cunt. Sorry. I take the side of mom #2. I also went back and looked at her comma usage, and I only found three comma faults. There were two commas where there should not have been, and one missing where there should have been. The fault is not with her comma usage, it’s with her sentence structure. She starts a lot of sentences with whacked out prepositional clauses. Ugh. Anyhow, feed the fury!
Jun 27, 2007 at 4:03 am rating: 90
#54
normal
God, Mom #2 made herself look like an idiot. What a stupid email. Way to write a sanctimonious, wandering essay.
If you volunteer to be in charge of finances for something, you have a responsibility to be polite in the face of concerns like Mom #1′s, even if they’re unwarranted. “I look forward to your written apology?” Give me a break.
Jun 27, 2007 at 5:19 am rating: 90
#55
Mel
Both Mom’s need to get over it, now, with or without commas, and just pay attention to their kids. I’m afraid someone’s going to get shot after this exchange!
This was an awful read…and I’m a mother of three: 19, 16, 12.
Jun 27, 2007 at 11:36 am rating: 90
#56
AmandaMay
Someone sounds a little insecure…
Jun 27, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
#57
Helen
Mom No. 2 is everything that’s wrong with the world. Period. May she lose her job, and then know what it’s like not to have money laying around to donate. Perhaps then she’ll change her mind about having her donation made public. Good grief.
Jun 27, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 90
#58
doe employee
No matter what you think of her note (and I think it’s totally kookoo) Mom #2 shouldn’t be circulating how much people gave. Teachers in NYC are only allowed to accept gifts in value of $7 from each family. Anything more they are supposed to return. No one in the wealthier schools follows the rule but you have to be at least a little discrete.
Jun 27, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: 90
#59
team cassandra
This kind of thing happens ALL the time with my daughter’s parents group through school- that’s the downside of school email groups, I think.
Sometimes I get 20 emails a day that really only amount some kinda mommy/daddy guerilla warfare…
DEFINITELY not anything I’d want to teach MY child, one way or another….
Mommy #1 Reply to All is rude if you’re really just complaining and you don’t have all the information.
Mommy#2 Generally, I don’t believe in medication for emotional issues, so I’ll avoid the chill pill advice…but you might wanna look into yoga or something, yes?
Jun 27, 2007 at 7:25 pm rating: 90
#60
Goldie
Clearly Mom #2 is off her meds. Loved the minorities piece. Also nice touch about Mom #1′s husband.
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:59 am rating: 90
#61
RaggDolly121
Too. Long. For. My. Likeing.
Jul 2, 2007 at 1:52 pm rating: 90
#62
Bob
I like turtles
Jul 9, 2007 at 8:28 pm rating: 90
#63
Sara
Cassandra: “Generally, I don’t believe in medication for emotional issues”
Off-topic warning, but it hit a sore spot with me.
I’ll assume that by “generally” you mean relatively normal people, and that you don’t mean people who have brain chemical imbalances. I’ve tried everything there is to try for 25 years, because I too hate popping pills. Unfortunately it’s the only thing that has produced any sort of result.
ok I’m done.
Jul 10, 2007 at 9:23 pm rating: 90
#64
Sara
Does anyone else see any irony in the above post by Sara?
Jul 12, 2007 at 7:17 am rating: 90
#65
Adriana
I have no idea why I put down “Sara” as the author in the above post… my mistake
Jul 12, 2007 at 7:19 am rating: 90
#66
GhostWriter
You know, they have a pill for that…
Jul 12, 2007 at 7:28 am rating: 90
#67
Adriana
sweet
Jul 12, 2007 at 7:31 am rating: 90
#68
Nigel
I look forward to putting my foot up your ass… how’s that for an apology?
Jul 13, 2007 at 10:10 am rating: 90
#69
Carly
“You can not assume that because one is a minority, or a certain religion or whatever that they would automatically give less.”
uhh where did that one come from?
Jul 22, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 90
#70
wee1
Egad! Mom2 has some serious issues, and I don’t think it is the kind that can be fixed by a pill, because asshattery is as yet untreatable medicinally.
She feels questioned in her child rearing abilities because Mom1 mentiones that she assumes most people want their kids to learn solidarity. Does that mean that Mom2 does _not_ want her kids to be fair and compassionate?
I kind of get the feeling Mom2 is kind of a histrionic, and quite possibly slightly sociopathic, since she feels the need to rub people’s poverty in their faces. She also seems to make up the assumed connection between minority and stinginess all by herself, making ?_her_ the effing racist. Privileged people tend to play up some minority connection when their own predjudice comes back to bite their asses. Mom2 definitely makes herself out to be a horrible person in a way that Mom1 could never have hoped to do. All she has to do is forward this to all, and Mom2s a$$ is grass. I would _not_ want my kids to hang around Mom2′s household. Let’s hope her kids have more sense than her.
Jul 25, 2007 at 3:46 am rating: 90
#71
Amelie
This is the kind of thing that happens when people procreate.
Jul 28, 2007 at 12:03 am rating: 90
#72 oh, shit!
[...] own neighborhood of park slope, brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented [...]
Nov 13, 2007 at 4:04 pm rating: 90
#73
anonz0 de whut
HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO TEACH MY CHILDREN THAT GIFT-GIVING SHOULD BE FROM THE HEART!!!
Team Neither One O’ Them.
Mar 5, 2008 at 2:10 am rating: 90
#74
bobby
Sounds like person #2 was pointing out how much everyone gave and who gave what and person #1 was calling her out on it.
Jul 8, 2008 at 1:46 pm rating: 90
#75
ozxegh sbmy
smlfgvn opcvxgnem ltwro qdklj onivadsx jlpgcm evrtosd
Jul 18, 2008 at 6:45 pm rating: 90
#76
hzos yrdoctju
maptynq emdszo akgv wtknqzpjy enpmhuy uvch jpokymel
Jul 18, 2008 at 6:50 pm rating: 90
#77
ArchivistJudy
It strikes me as weird that the financial analyzer is the one who is making assumptions about race and religion. The first note doesn’t mention race, or religion, nor does it stereotype.
The financial advisor has her panties in a bunch and read way into something that wasn’t there. She’s the one who’s got the stereotyping problem…
Jul 24, 2008 at 1:04 am rating: 90
#78
Kate
Team Neither.
Number 1 — a snarky shrew who shouldn’t have Replied All, and knew EXACTLY what she was doing, when she did so.
Number 2 — grossly in need of remedial textbooks to brush up on her long-forgotten grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, spelling and too many other skill subjects to list.
Number 2′s argument was well taken at first, but then veered off the deep end. She lost me with her off-topic insinuations and conclusions which she was unable to express intelligently.
She played the race card, and I must say, she doesn’t even realize she stereotyped herself. As I was reading along, and before I even got to the “race card” section, I thought “Sheesh, this reads like a letter written in ebonics.”
Aug 2, 2008 at 2:58 pm rating: 90
#79 especially religion | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] the thoughts that count extra credit: “a different sort of neighborhood watch” [...]
Aug 21, 2008 at 10:10 pm rating: 90
#80
STFU, Kate
Ebonics? Really? You clearly have no true concept of “Ebonics” and only used the term because you felt the need to assign a specific ethnicity to mom 2.
Stop typing. I hate racists who don’t even realize it.
This would be the part where you went on and on about having black friends, but seeing as how I’m months behind, I doubt you’ll have the chance.
Nov 30, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#81
fluffy8u
Wow. Mommy #1, would you like some ice for that burn?
And why is she so concerned with who gives what? Shouldn’t she be gratefull that people are giving period?
Dec 26, 2008 at 4:11 am rating: 90
#82
newzzun
This is a typical exchange of yuppie, entitled parents who have way too much time on their hands and truly believe the world revolves around them. Astonishing. I really wonder what their kids are going to grow up to be like.
Jan 3, 2009 at 5:45 pm rating: 90
#83
carly
mommy #2 needs to take her estrogen pills. that menopause is hitting hard. talk about an overreaction.
Mar 3, 2009 at 10:30 pm rating: 90
Comments are Closed