an amazing one from brian in cleveland:
brian explains the serious scheming that went into getting this one:
My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator.
We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme.
One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway.
She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence.
Within 2 minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.
so worth the effort though, right?
reddit!
stumble it!
104 responses so far ↓
#1 brian mcfadden
Absolutely! Babies need sandwiches, unborn or born!
Jun 29, 2007 at 8:54 pm rating: 0
#2 Jupiter Jones
Well, to be fair, it IS pretty aggerating.
Jun 29, 2007 at 9:22 pm rating: +3
#3 katy
at least i have permission to starve her.
Jun 29, 2007 at 9:23 pm rating: +1
#4 Squeaky Wheel
…”aggerating”?
Looks like you forgot a couple of letters there, Sparky. Those horrible office thieves had better stop eating her sandwiches…if they’re comprised of meats, she needs the protein to keep her brain from deteriorating further.
Poor kid.
Jun 29, 2007 at 9:50 pm rating: +1
#5 MB
Ok so you have to be pretty dumb to steal someone else’s food. But you have to George Bush dumb to steal a pregnant woman’s food. I’m surprised with all those hormones, she didn’t just go around ripping people’s stomach’s open to find half digested sandwiches.
Jun 29, 2007 at 11:22 pm rating: +4
#6 Smaragd
Wow. This is one time when I’ll side with the food-thief. I don’t care if she’s ten months pregnant with dodecatuplets, there’s no excuse for something this psycho.
Next time somebody decides to starve the baby but not her (as she’s pretty clear that’s what she objects to), maybe she shouldn’t stuff the food down her own shrill, bitchy gullet but instead save it for the baby (unborn or not).
Jun 30, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: 0
#7 Smaragd
By the way, I do not speak for just me. ;-p
Jun 30, 2007 at 1:09 am rating: 0
#8 ALA
I’m with Squeaky - the poor woman is starved and unable to form proper words. Team Mom all the way!
Jun 30, 2007 at 1:40 am rating: 0
#9 ginger
yep team mum. she’s growing a person, she needs her damn lunch !
Jun 30, 2007 at 3:33 am rating: 0
#10 Beppo
I learned a long time ago not to screw with pregnant women. They feel like crap and their hormones are going crazy.
A few years ago, a friend decided that he was going to pick a fight with an almost full term friend of ours over her use of the word “irregardless.” This was a usually even-tempered woman but I saw her turn into a vengeful avatar of Kali before mine very eyes. She tore him a third corn chute and a fourth and a fifth one before she left the shattered husk of his masculinity on the ground.
Don’t screw with pregnant women!
Jun 30, 2007 at 3:45 am rating: 0
#11 Piled High and Deep
If the woman is that concerned about her nutrition, she shouldn’t be eating lunch meat while pregnant, duh–too many nitrates and too strong possibility of food poisoning. Sounds like she’s one of those “I’m pregnant, and therefore everyone in the world must stop and acknowledge my amazing miraculous 15-weeks’ pregnant self” types.
Jun 30, 2007 at 4:53 am rating: 0
#12 Max Roswell
Wait…so it’s okay to steal from someone if they can’t spell?
Elitist much, kids?
Jun 30, 2007 at 5:00 am rating: 0
#13 Brian
I think she was actually (ex)aggerating, but probably too frustrated to spell check. Frankly people, if I head into the office pantry and find that someone’s taken a bite out of my food and put it back, baby or not - I’d be pretty pissed off as well.
The caps, ‘please’ and exclamation points qualify it for this site, but I’m on the Mom’s side. None of us would want an office snacker being bold enough to nibble at our lunches and have the gall to put the rest back if they don’t like it.
Jun 30, 2007 at 5:52 am rating: +1
#14 Andy
See, that’s what I’m talking about!
Not only is the note PA, but the WAY in which said note was procured for copying was totally PA. Woohoo!
Jun 30, 2007 at 6:57 am rating: +1
#15 Kristi
I love how she started off nice and sweet and then full force into all caps! Classic!
BTW - if you’re going to steal a lunch, for Christ’s sake, DON’T put it back after a bite! You made a commitment but stealing the damn thing in the first place, follow through!
Jun 30, 2007 at 6:59 am rating: +1
#16 Andy
I agree with Kristi. I like how the wave of hormone-enhanced rage built into a torrent of anger and patronizing.
Also, yes. If you are going to steal, then finish the job, and leave your *own* note, stating how delicious the lunch was.
I actually never understood why people steal other people’s food at work. I mean, who knows what kind of cooties those assholes have?!
Jun 30, 2007 at 7:05 am rating: +1
#17 eh
TEAM FETUS! (not team mom)
I’m not “team mom” because she says stealing food is OK as long as her kids aren’t involved. Kids aren’t more deserving of food than adults. They aren’t more special or needy. A hungry person is a hungry person at any age and STEALING FOOD IS NEVER OK.
Jun 30, 2007 at 8:24 am rating: +2
#18 gail
Being pregnant is no excuse for misspelling, that’s “exaggerating” folks.
Jun 30, 2007 at 9:48 am rating: 0
#19 Jenn
Never ever mess with a pregnant woman’s lunch. That being said, the note is a little over the top…
Jun 30, 2007 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#20 Jeff
I kind of feel bad for the kid. He has a lifetime of passive aggressive guilt trips headed his way.
Jun 30, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: +1
#21 Cassie
I can’t help but wonder why someone would take one bite of a sandwich then put it back. It sounds more like a “SCREW YOU!” than an “I’m hungry munch munch munch.” And then I can’t help but wonder what that crazy pregnant woman did to the food-stealer to make them mess with her lunch! I suspect previous bitchy acts, and lunch-time retaliation!
Jun 30, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: +1
#22 Obstreperous B
Stealing food is never ok, but boy howdy do I loathe these all-the-world-must-revolve-around-the-contents-of-my-uterus types. (I am a woman myself, BTW.) What an utter joy she must be to work with. And it’ll only get worse once the thing’s born. Flee for your life, Brian!
Jun 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: +1
#23 DCP
Team none of the above. Whoever took a bite of the sandwich is clearly a prick. But the mom is just so unlikable. “…a budget to provision proper food allowances?” I predict one of those thesaurus happy people. They’re the worst.
Jun 30, 2007 at 12:05 pm rating: +1
#24 whoa
i think she meant sarcastic not (ex)aggerating.
Jun 30, 2007 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#25 Pregnant Lady
Man, I’m pregnant (with twins) and if someone took a bite of my boring old sandwich I would make that the best excuse to go to TACO BELL!!!! Or whatever the ridiculously unhealthy craving of the moment is.
Jun 30, 2007 at 1:26 pm rating: +1
#26 Raquel
she should NOT eat chesse and meat together. thats bad for baby’s health.
Jun 30, 2007 at 3:03 pm rating: 0
#27 Moo
I’d be angry if someone took a bite of my food. But for her to feel more important than everyone else purely because she can spread her legs makes me glad someone got that bite in. What a bitch.
Jun 30, 2007 at 3:42 pm rating: +1
#28 IRF Weekly Wrap-up « In Rare Form
[…] Passive-Aggressive Notes continues to amuse me. This week they published the rantings of a pregnant woman who curses the person who ate her sandwich for attempting to starve her baby. […]
Jun 30, 2007 at 4:34 pm rating: 0
#29 Katherine
I guess the office food thief also stole a few of her letters there. “Aggerating”?
Jun 30, 2007 at 5:51 pm rating: 0
#30 silverneurotic
Eww, that is just plain nasty that someone would take a bite of a sandwhich and just put it back like nothing ever happened. Even though I don’t think I like this woman, I have to side with her if only cuz of the disgusting factor.
Jun 30, 2007 at 6:53 pm rating: +1
#31 dfkdj
why the hell are the workers so worried about just plain ripping the note off the fridge?
maybe the preggo is the boss lady.
what a nightmare that would be. been there.
Jun 30, 2007 at 7:04 pm rating: 0
#32 Trickster
Why is everyone so amazed the person put the sandwich back? Maybe it was nasty tasting…
Jun 30, 2007 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
#33 Marissa
This reminds me of that part in Kill Bill where Vivica Fox whips out the picture of the kid so that Uma Thurman won’t slice her ass into oblivion.
Nice.
Jun 30, 2007 at 9:38 pm rating: 0
#34 kristen
when I was pregnant, some one stole my string cheese from the work fridge and I was pissed! I’m sure I composed an equally passive aggressive note in my head, just wish I had the guts to print it and hang it on the fridge. Go mom-to-be!
Jun 30, 2007 at 10:45 pm rating: 0
#35 Sam
I don’t understand the scumbags that steal other people’s lunches. However, I find it both extra-hilarious and typical that a breeder would consider the crime to be especially heinous because it affected her chyyyllllddd.
I do think it’s even more scummy to steal food from a pregnant woman, but you can see where this woman’s attitude is headed. A year from now, she’ll be the same person insisting that only the single people from the office should have to work overtime or weekends; she can’t because doing so would destroy her baby’s life blah blah.
Jul 1, 2007 at 5:50 am rating: +2
#36 Loving Annie
Totally worththe effort ! Great note !
I’m glad I found this blog (William the Coroner linked it), and am looking forward to reading more !
Happy Sunday July 1st to you.
Sincerely,
Loving Annie
Jul 1, 2007 at 9:22 am rating: 0
#37 Veronica
I think the greatest ending to this story would be if it turned out she has other kids and one of them stole a bite before she left for work…
Jul 1, 2007 at 10:15 am rating: 0
#38 Writer, Rejected
“Feel free to starve me, but not my baby” is pretty offensive: I mean, there is such a thing as world hunger outside of that upper-crusty, lunch-bringing office. Though I do think it is great of her to let the poor hungry slob who ate her nitrate sandwhich know about subsidies that can help provide funding for food. Very thoughtful.
Thing is: she does not speak for just her, but for all babies everywhere, born and unborn. So, no wonder her wussy office mates are scared; she’s an all-powerful meat-and-cheese Mama. Stay the hell off her lunch.
Jul 1, 2007 at 10:38 am rating: +1
#39 Melissa
Maybe she should leave a note saying her lunch is covered by the blood of Jesus and that Jesus would never steal ham and cheese sandwiches…
Jul 1, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 0
#40 Marissa
If my lunch were covered by the blood of Jesus, hell, I wouldn’t want to eat it either.
Jul 1, 2007 at 2:04 pm rating: 0
#41 Collaroy
Okay, I’d be grossed out if someone would have taken a bite out of my lunch and then put it back- wouldn’t have touched it either.
BUT, please look up the meaning of “starvation”. FYI, crazy pregnant woman, it is not “missing one f**king lunch”, not even if you’re pregnant.
I do not speak just for me, but for all other pregnant women who also have anger management problems and all other people who need to look up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starvation.
That woman is beyond stupid, and do not blame that on pregnancy and hormones.
Jul 2, 2007 at 1:53 am rating: 0
#42 D
You can see the mood swings as she writes is
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:46 am rating: 0
#43 Mary2again
Not excusing the poor spelling, but I do understand the frustration of this pregnant woman. There was a time when the only thing that stopped my “all day sickness” was string cheese. As long as I ate it every 2 hours I was fine - but the day someone stole it from the fridge I was sick as a dog because someone decided their hunger was more important than mine.
Truly, what’s up with the stealing food thing? Did your mama not teach you better?
Jul 2, 2007 at 5:34 am rating: 0
#44 Lovecarrots
OK so I do sympathise with getting hungry and I can appreciate that she’s clearly hyperglycemic or she’d be able to spell…
Then I look at the tone of the note. I mean how much further up her own arse could she get, is it possible to be any more precious about being pregnant than that? Er, no. And then there’s the whole you can dick with me but not my unborn child thing - oh get a f***ing grip. Then there’s all that I do not speak for just me and you can imagine the unborn foetus going “No you DON’T NOW f**k OFF!”
That said, taking a bite out of someone’s sarnie and putting it back is gross. It also suggests she was arsy and prissy before she got pregnant since somebody is prepared to go to the lengths of taking a bite of a lunch meat (I’m guessing that’s what we British call “Spam”) sandwich to piss her off.
Another classic!
I love this site.
Cheers
Mrs L Carrot.
Jul 2, 2007 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#45 Daniel Hoffmann-Gill
Wait til the Pro-Lifers get a hold of this…
Jul 2, 2007 at 8:50 am rating: 0
#46 Goldie
Team Mother-to-be.
When I was pg, someone tried to elbow me in the stomach to get on a bus ahead of me. I bit the inconsiderate SOB and am still proud of it fifteen years later. Don’t mess with pregnant women.
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:22 am rating: 0
#47 PatHMV
I do rather admire the subtle reference to soup kitchens and other charitable aid for those who can’t afford their own food…
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 0
#48 the sos
so what exactly is a “not unborn” baby? pre-conception? post delivery? is she actually saying to the people with whom she works to please be nice and don’t starve small children? and so, she’s cool with people at her work starving HER? i’d leave a note back and tell that crazy bitch to “in the future, please denotate (kind of like aggerate) those food items that are for her, and those that are especially for her child (unborn or otherwise) so that I don’t starve any unintended victims by eating one bite of their food.”
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 0
#49 the sos
then i’d leave a list of my favorite sandwiches and request that she bring those at least once a week…
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:26 am rating: 0
#50 Dave
Maybe whoever stole it took a bite and put it back because it tasted too bitter.
Go team uterus, even if mommy is a rabid weasel.
Jul 2, 2007 at 10:31 am rating: 0
#51 Jacinda
Goldie, biting that guy who tried to elbow you might be the coolest thing I have ever heard. You are my new hero. What kind of asshole would elbow a PREGNANT woman? sheesh…
But I love this note. I enjoy the caps all through the end of it, which when you read it, you can imagine her screaming it. Or at least slamming the keyboard typing this thing out.
I agree it’s shitty to steal other’s food. I’d be pissed, pregnant or not. And gross to the guy who did it. Who puts something back AFTER taking a bite? That’s almost more of a “fuck you” to the person. Because you didn’t eat it all, and now that person can’t eat ANY of it, because you soiled just that one part.
I’ve never been pregnant before, but I assume if/when I do, my hormones will be raging as well. And hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman starved.
Jul 2, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#52 DUH
I don’t get it….she and her unborn baby are “starving” because she missed her light lunch of one measly sandwich? Sheesh! If that’s all it takes, she (and said baby) must be suffering from serious malnutrition already. Come on! I know it’s rude to take a sandwich, but run to the vending machine and grab something! Nobody here is “starving.”
Jul 2, 2007 at 1:19 pm rating: +1
#53 RaggDolly121
Dude….that’s kinda harsh, but with all the hormones, I understand.
I mean, ANYTHING can tip a preggers lady off!
Jul 2, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#54 rupert
Team Fetus
This lady is a psycho (I’m not aggerating!)
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:15 pm rating: 0
#55 Psipsina
The only problem with this note is that she needs writing lessons. She should’ve simply written, “Shame on you, stealing a pregnant woman’s lunch.”
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:39 pm rating: 0
#56 will
Perhaps she should eat less and give the baby more?
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:42 pm rating: 0
#57 stupidsmileyface
she literally went from furious to empathetic to just crying in that letter! way to be hormonal mama!
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:49 pm rating: 0
#58 Ayu
my god woman my mom never in the whole period she was pregnant with me had enough to eat and I survived suck it up.
Jul 2, 2007 at 2:57 pm rating: 0
#59 Misplaced
Imagine the guilt she will be putting that child through.
You are killing your father!!!!! Kill me but not your father!!!!
No question she will be a shitty mother
Jul 3, 2007 at 6:13 am rating: 0
#60 Erin
Go Team Psipsina! (#54) The most effective ideas are ones you force your victim to think up on their own, not the ones you spewed forth in a cathartic vomit pile.
Also, she could do more good writing a letter like this to the CEO of the meat company that is putting nitrates in her baby’s lunch.
Jul 3, 2007 at 9:01 am rating: 0
#61 Florabora
Someone stole my yogurt from the fridge when I was pregnant and I nearly had a melt down. I totally understand her wrath. And for those of you saying she shouldn’t have deli meat/cheese - it’s only really the first trimester that you have to worry.
Someone stole my sandwich last month - when I returned back to work after a nasty upper respiratory infection. I sent an email out to my floor wishing whoever ate it a fun visit to the doctors.
Jul 3, 2007 at 9:15 am rating: 0
#62 Mitsu
Meow, this is one time where I can’t take a side. I mean, it’s wrong to steal food, but this prego biatch said it’s ok to steal from people without kids?!! This is AGGRAVATING!!
Jul 3, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 0