It must have been a pretty big bite

June 29th, 2007 · 140 comments

“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
It is Ok to steal food from people (I'm aggerating): but I am a MOTHER-TO-BE who starved because took a bite out of my lunch meant and cheese.

So worth the effort though, right?

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing


140 responses so far ↓

  • #1   brian mcfadden

    Absolutely! Babies need sandwiches, unborn or born!

    Jun 29, 2007 at 8:54 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   poochie

      She shouldn’t be eating lunch meat anyways – bad bacteria in there for babies.

      May 13, 2008 at 6:41 am   rating: 115  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Julie

      That’s exactly what I was thinking, poochie. I guess if she’s enough of an idiot to write this note, she probably doesn’t know not to eat lunch meat when pregnant.

      May 27, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Jupiter Jones

    Well, to be fair, it IS pretty aggerating.

    Jun 29, 2007 at 9:22 pm   rating: 208  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   mona bang

      the lunch meat and cheese wasn’t filling enough – looks like the culprit came back and ate a few letters from her note too.

      May 10, 2008 at 7:56 pm   rating: 135  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Jody

      “Well, to be fair, it IS pretty aggerating.”

      hahahahahahahaha… …priceless, Jupiter Jones!

      Aug 29, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   katy

    at least i have permission to starve her.

    Jun 29, 2007 at 9:23 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Squeaky Wheel

    …”aggerating”?

    Looks like you forgot a couple of letters there, Sparky. Those horrible office thieves had better stop eating her sandwiches…if they’re comprised of meats, she needs the protein to keep her brain from deteriorating further.

    Poor kid.

    Jun 29, 2007 at 9:50 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   John

      She’s aggerating – she’s not ex-aggerating? It makes a twisted kind of sense…

      Feb 26, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   MB

    Ok so you have to be pretty dumb to steal someone else’s food. But you have to George Bush dumb to steal a pregnant woman’s food. I’m surprised with all those hormones, she didn’t just go around ripping people’s stomach’s open to find half digested sandwiches.

    Jun 29, 2007 at 11:22 pm   rating: 233  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   kaylyn

      that was hilarious

      kudos

      Apr 6, 2008 at 12:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Zenji

      perfect comment, MB: combination of compassion, good sense and a little mischief! a little like the guys who ‘fell in love’ with this note ;-)
      Personally, although the note is a little over the top, when people’s incomes are stretched, time is short and they are bearing a responsibility as serious as having a child, anger in a situation like this is somewhat understandable. I think a little compassion is called for.
      - Zenji from Australia

      Jun 27, 2008 at 2:41 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   db

      Seriously, though. Is there anything more annoying than packing a lunch and finding that someone TOOK a BITE? How DISGUSTING! Just take the whole sandwich if you’re gonna be a jerk! And then, being pregnant on top of it! Whoo-hoo! Lucky it wasn’t me- I would’ve left a much nastier note than this and posted it up here myself!! Her misspelling can be forgiven. She was in a deservedly righteous rage.

      Jul 10, 2008 at 6:07 am   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Smaragd

    Wow. This is one time when I’ll side with the food-thief. I don’t care if she’s ten months pregnant with dodecatuplets, there’s no excuse for something this psycho.

    Next time somebody decides to starve the baby but not her (as she’s pretty clear that’s what she objects to), maybe she shouldn’t stuff the food down her own shrill, bitchy gullet but instead save it for the baby (unborn or not).

    Jun 30, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Bunneh

      As wrong as it is, I find it absolutely hilarious that the thief took a bite of her sandwich and then put it back in the fridge!

      Mar 21, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Smaragd

    By the way, I do not speak for just me. ;-p

    Jun 30, 2007 at 1:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   ALA

    I’m with Squeaky – the poor woman is starved and unable to form proper words. Team Mom all the way!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 1:40 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   ginger

    yep team mum. she’s growing a person, she needs her damn lunch !

    Jun 30, 2007 at 3:33 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Beppo

    I learned a long time ago not to screw with pregnant women. They feel like crap and their hormones are going crazy.

    A few years ago, a friend decided that he was going to pick a fight with an almost full term friend of ours over her use of the word “irregardless.” This was a usually even-tempered woman but I saw her turn into a vengeful avatar of Kali before mine very eyes. She tore him a third corn chute and a fourth and a fifth one before she left the shattered husk of his masculinity on the ground.
    Don’t screw with pregnant women!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 3:45 am   rating: 115  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Zenji

      hahaha love it!
      what you Americans lack in tact you sure make up for in wit!

      Jun 27, 2008 at 2:59 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   known unknown bang

      …right.

      pretty adroit to come into a year old thread just to make a flaccid “oh, you vulgar Americans” joke.

      kudos.

      Jun 27, 2008 at 3:05 am   rating: 93  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Piled High and Deep

    If the woman is that concerned about her nutrition, she shouldn’t be eating lunch meat while pregnant, duh–too many nitrates and too strong possibility of food poisoning. Sounds like she’s one of those “I’m pregnant, and therefore everyone in the world must stop and acknowledge my amazing miraculous 15-weeks’ pregnant self” types.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 4:53 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Lynn

      Who knows she might have been using leftovers from home to make the sandwiches.

      Her spelling is funny but seriously, its not cool to take another persons food, chomp it, and put it back in the fridge… ESPECIALLY if the person you’re stealing from is pregnant.

      Team Mom all the way!

      Apr 19, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Zenji

      Several people have said, ‘she shouldn’t be eating lunch meat anyway’.
      How does the fact that she is eating food that might not be advisable, somehow invalidate her demand that this insensitive idiot stop taking bites out of her food? It’s got nothing to do with it!
      Also, maybe she doesn’t know that she shouldn’t eat that. But of course, in a world where smug little people like to use knowledge as power and hit other people over their head with their ignorance…

      Jun 27, 2008 at 2:53 am   rating: 82  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Ravenlynne

      Zenji, you are my hero.

      Mar 4, 2009 at 1:47 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Max Roswell

    Wait…so it’s okay to steal from someone if they can’t spell?

    Elitist much, kids?

    Jun 30, 2007 at 5:00 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Brian

    I think she was actually (ex)aggerating, but probably too frustrated to spell check. Frankly people, if I head into the office pantry and find that someone’s taken a bite out of my food and put it back, baby or not – I’d be pretty pissed off as well.

    The caps, ‘please’ and exclamation points qualify it for this site, but I’m on the Mom’s side. None of us would want an office snacker being bold enough to nibble at our lunches and have the gall to put the rest back if they don’t like it.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 5:52 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Andy

    See, that’s what I’m talking about!

    Not only is the note PA, but the WAY in which said note was procured for copying was totally PA. Woohoo!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 6:57 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Kristi

    I love how she started off nice and sweet and then full force into all caps! Classic!

    BTW – if you’re going to steal a lunch, for Christ’s sake, DON’T put it back after a bite! You made a commitment but stealing the damn thing in the first place, follow through!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 6:59 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Andy

    I agree with Kristi. I like how the wave of hormone-enhanced rage built into a torrent of anger and patronizing.

    Also, yes. If you are going to steal, then finish the job, and leave your *own* note, stating how delicious the lunch was.

    I actually never understood why people steal other people’s food at work. I mean, who knows what kind of cooties those assholes have?!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 7:05 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Lyra bang

      When my mother told me that people used to steal food in one of her old jobs, I was horrified. Who DOES that? It’s someone else’s meal!

      People really need to start planting fake nasty lunches, complete with the stank of buttcrack.

      May 22, 2008 at 4:39 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   eh

    TEAM FETUS! (not team mom)

    I’m not “team mom” because she says stealing food is OK as long as her kids aren’t involved. Kids aren’t more deserving of food than adults. They aren’t more special or needy. A hungry person is a hungry person at any age and STEALING FOOD IS NEVER OK.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 8:24 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   amanda

      um what? you must not have children. and if you do, you shouldnt have them. i would let myself starve before my own or any other child….

      Dec 2, 2008 at 11:31 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   gail

    Being pregnant is no excuse for misspelling, that’s “exaggerating” folks.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 9:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   fran

      but being pregnant AND enraged is. plus i don’t think that after she wrote this she went back and proofread her work.

      btw, thanks for letting everyone here know which word she meant, because, you know, no one here had ANY idea.

      p.s. elitists bug me.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:22 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Ravenlynne

      And being an ass is no excuse for stealing someone else’s lunch.

      Mar 4, 2009 at 1:50 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Jenn

    Never ever mess with a pregnant woman’s lunch. That being said, the note is a little over the top…

    Jun 30, 2007 at 10:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Jeff

    I kind of feel bad for the kid. He has a lifetime of passive aggressive guilt trips headed his way.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 10:17 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Cassie

    I can’t help but wonder why someone would take one bite of a sandwich then put it back. It sounds more like a “SCREW YOU!” than an “I’m hungry munch munch munch.” And then I can’t help but wonder what that crazy pregnant woman did to the food-stealer to make them mess with her lunch! I suspect previous bitchy acts, and lunch-time retaliation!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 11:10 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Zenji

      RE the whole thing of taking a bite and then just putting it back: some people just have a “F*** you, the world owes me a living” attitude.
      “The world has been bad to me so I can do what I like – they deserve it.”
      Having said that: 1) Maybe someone was approaching the kitchen or they thought they might and 2) Perhaps they couldn’t just take the food OUT of the kitchen to eat it lol.
      Or they may have felt bad, had a little internal panic and been stuck about what to do – thinking that just returning it was not as ‘bad’ as throwing it away or scoffing the rest of it…Not having any idea how disgusting/’insulting’ it might be to the person who found it, so caught up in themselves were they… :-)
      Ahh…I have too much time on my hands!

      Jun 27, 2008 at 3:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Obstreperous B

    Stealing food is never ok, but boy howdy do I loathe these all-the-world-must-revolve-around-the-contents-of-my-uterus types. (I am a woman myself, BTW.) What an utter joy she must be to work with. And it’ll only get worse once the thing’s born. Flee for your life, Brian!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   DCP

    Team none of the above. Whoever took a bite of the sandwich is clearly a prick. But the mom is just so unlikable. “…a budget to provision proper food allowances?” I predict one of those thesaurus happy people. They’re the worst.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 12:05 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   whoa

    i think she meant sarcastic not (ex)aggerating.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 12:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   aradia

      I think she means aggravating.

      Mar 8, 2009 at 8:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Pregnant Lady

    Man, I’m pregnant (with twins) and if someone took a bite of my boring old sandwich I would make that the best excuse to go to TACO BELL!!!! Or whatever the ridiculously unhealthy craving of the moment is.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 1:26 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Zenji

      Love it!

      Jun 27, 2008 at 3:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Raquel

    she should NOT eat chesse and meat together. thats bad for baby’s health.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 3:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Lyra bang

      Pickles and ice cream is really the way to go.

      May 22, 2008 at 4:41 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   aradia

      What if she had a cheese-and-pickle sandwich instead? No worries about lunch meat, no worries about microwave radiation from the holes drilled for the padlock- it’s the perfect soultion, really.

      Mar 8, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Moo

    I’d be angry if someone took a bite of my food. But for her to feel more important than everyone else purely because she can spread her legs makes me glad someone got that bite in. What a bitch.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 3:42 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   gwinniegirl bang

      I agree. I can’t stand people like that. Plus, the note makes great reading.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 1:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Brigitte

      I second that notion! Soooo over pregnant chicks and mothers thinking that their spawning is the most monumental thing on Earth – news flash it’s not!! (Almost) everybody in the world does it and it’s really not that special or interesting to anyone else but the spawner. If these people want to get the attention and sense of importance they crave, then they should do something that actualy benefits mankind or the planet, INSTEAD of just mindlessly breeding.

      Jul 14, 2008 at 2:26 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Katherine

    I guess the office food thief also stole a few of her letters there. “Aggerating”?

    Jun 30, 2007 at 5:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   silverneurotic

    Eww, that is just plain nasty that someone would take a bite of a sandwhich and just put it back like nothing ever happened. Even though I don’t think I like this woman, I have to side with her if only cuz of the disgusting factor.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 6:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   dfkdj

    why the hell are the workers so worried about just plain ripping the note off the fridge?

    maybe the preggo is the boss lady.

    what a nightmare that would be. been there.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 7:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Trickster

    Why is everyone so amazed the person put the sandwich back? Maybe it was nasty tasting…

    Jun 30, 2007 at 8:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Marissa

    This reminds me of that part in Kill Bill where Vivica Fox whips out the picture of the kid so that Uma Thurman won’t slice her ass into oblivion.

    Nice.

    Jun 30, 2007 at 9:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   kristen

    when I was pregnant, some one stole my string cheese from the work fridge and I was pissed! I’m sure I composed an equally passive aggressive note in my head, just wish I had the guts to print it and hang it on the fridge. Go mom-to-be!

    Jun 30, 2007 at 10:45 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Sam

    I don’t understand the scumbags that steal other people’s lunches. However, I find it both extra-hilarious and typical that a breeder would consider the crime to be especially heinous because it affected her chyyyllllddd.

    I do think it’s even more scummy to steal food from a pregnant woman, but you can see where this woman’s attitude is headed. A year from now, she’ll be the same person insisting that only the single people from the office should have to work overtime or weekends; she can’t because doing so would destroy her baby’s life blah blah.

    Jul 1, 2007 at 5:50 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Loving Annie

    Totally worththe effort ! Great note !

    I’m glad I found this blog (William the Coroner linked it), and am looking forward to reading more !

    Happy Sunday July 1st to you.

    Sincerely,
    Loving Annie

    Jul 1, 2007 at 9:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Veronica

    I think the greatest ending to this story would be if it turned out she has other kids and one of them stole a bite before she left for work…

    Jul 1, 2007 at 10:15 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   saturngirl bang

      Veronica, I just snorted my coffee reading that. Brilliant.

      Jul 26, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   chance

      I think it probable that she took a bite and forgot about it.

      Dec 23, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Writer, Rejected

    “Feel free to starve me, but not my baby” is pretty offensive: I mean, there is such a thing as world hunger outside of that upper-crusty, lunch-bringing office. Though I do think it is great of her to let the poor hungry slob who ate her nitrate sandwhich know about subsidies that can help provide funding for food. Very thoughtful.

    Thing is: she does not speak for just her, but for all babies everywhere, born and unborn. So, no wonder her wussy office mates are scared; she’s an all-powerful meat-and-cheese Mama. Stay the hell off her lunch.

    Jul 1, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Melissa

    Maybe she should leave a note saying her lunch is covered by the blood of Jesus and that Jesus would never steal ham and cheese sandwiches…

    Jul 1, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Marissa

    If my lunch were covered by the blood of Jesus, hell, I wouldn’t want to eat it either.

    Jul 1, 2007 at 2:04 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Collaroy

    Okay, I’d be grossed out if someone would have taken a bite out of my lunch and then put it back- wouldn’t have touched it either.

    BUT, please look up the meaning of “starvation”. FYI, crazy pregnant woman, it is not “missing one f**king lunch”, not even if you’re pregnant.

    I do not speak just for me, but for all other pregnant women who also have anger management problems and all other people who need to look up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starvation.

    That woman is beyond stupid, and do not blame that on pregnancy and hormones.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 1:53 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   D

    You can see the mood swings as she writes is

    Jul 2, 2007 at 2:46 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Mary2again

    Not excusing the poor spelling, but I do understand the frustration of this pregnant woman. There was a time when the only thing that stopped my “all day sickness” was string cheese. As long as I ate it every 2 hours I was fine – but the day someone stole it from the fridge I was sick as a dog because someone decided their hunger was more important than mine.

    Truly, what’s up with the stealing food thing? Did your mama not teach you better?

    Jul 2, 2007 at 5:34 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Lovecarrots

    OK so I do sympathise with getting hungry and I can appreciate that she’s clearly hyperglycemic or she’d be able to spell…

    Then I look at the tone of the note. I mean how much further up her own arse could she get, is it possible to be any more precious about being pregnant than that? Er, no. And then there’s the whole you can dick with me but not my unborn child thing – oh get a f***ing grip. Then there’s all that I do not speak for just me and you can imagine the unborn foetus going “No you DON’T NOW f**k OFF!”

    That said, taking a bite out of someone’s sarnie and putting it back is gross. It also suggests she was arsy and prissy before she got pregnant since somebody is prepared to go to the lengths of taking a bite of a lunch meat (I’m guessing that’s what we British call “Spam”) sandwich to piss her off.

    Another classic!

    I love this site.

    Cheers

    Mrs L Carrot.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 8:34 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Daniel Hoffmann-Gill

    Wait til the Pro-Lifers get a hold of this…

    Jul 2, 2007 at 8:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Goldie

    Team Mother-to-be.
    When I was pg, someone tried to elbow me in the stomach to get on a bus ahead of me. I bit the inconsiderate SOB and am still proud of it fifteen years later. Don’t mess with pregnant women.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:22 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Val

      Huge difference between an elbow to the stomach and a bite out of a sandwich. I would have bitten the elbower, too!

      Feb 27, 2009 at 1:28 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   PatHMV

    I do rather admire the subtle reference to soup kitchens and other charitable aid for those who can’t afford their own food…

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   the sos

    so what exactly is a “not unborn” baby? pre-conception? post delivery? is she actually saying to the people with whom she works to please be nice and don’t starve small children? and so, she’s cool with people at her work starving HER? i’d leave a note back and tell that crazy bitch to “in the future, please denotate (kind of like aggerate) those food items that are for her, and those that are especially for her child (unborn or otherwise) so that I don’t starve any unintended victims by eating one bite of their food.”

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:23 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   the sos

    then i’d leave a list of my favorite sandwiches and request that she bring those at least once a week…

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Dave

    Maybe whoever stole it took a bite and put it back because it tasted too bitter.

    Go team uterus, even if mommy is a rabid weasel.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 10:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Jacinda

    Goldie, biting that guy who tried to elbow you might be the coolest thing I have ever heard. You are my new hero. What kind of asshole would elbow a PREGNANT woman? sheesh…

    But I love this note. I enjoy the caps all through the end of it, which when you read it, you can imagine her screaming it. Or at least slamming the keyboard typing this thing out.

    I agree it’s shitty to steal other’s food. I’d be pissed, pregnant or not. And gross to the guy who did it. Who puts something back AFTER taking a bite? That’s almost more of a “fuck you” to the person. Because you didn’t eat it all, and now that person can’t eat ANY of it, because you soiled just that one part.

    I’ve never been pregnant before, but I assume if/when I do, my hormones will be raging as well. And hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman starved.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 12:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   DUH

    I don’t get it….she and her unborn baby are “starving” because she missed her light lunch of one measly sandwich? Sheesh! If that’s all it takes, she (and said baby) must be suffering from serious malnutrition already. Come on! I know it’s rude to take a sandwich, but run to the vending machine and grab something! Nobody here is “starving.”

    Jul 2, 2007 at 1:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   RaggDolly121

    Dude….that’s kinda harsh, but with all the hormones, I understand.

    I mean, ANYTHING can tip a preggers lady off!

    Jul 2, 2007 at 1:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   rupert

    Team Fetus

    This lady is a psycho (I’m not aggerating!)

    Jul 2, 2007 at 2:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Psipsina

    The only problem with this note is that she needs writing lessons. She should’ve simply written, “Shame on you, stealing a pregnant woman’s lunch.”

    Jul 2, 2007 at 2:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   will

    Perhaps she should eat less and give the baby more?

    Jul 2, 2007 at 2:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   stupidsmileyface

    she literally went from furious to empathetic to just crying in that letter! way to be hormonal mama!

    Jul 2, 2007 at 2:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Ayu

    my god woman my mom never in the whole period she was pregnant with me had enough to eat and I survived suck it up.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 2:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Misplaced

    Imagine the guilt she will be putting that child through.

    You are killing your father!!!!! Kill me but not your father!!!!

    No question she will be a shitty mother

    Jul 3, 2007 at 6:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Erin

    Go Team Psipsina! (#54) The most effective ideas are ones you force your victim to think up on their own, not the ones you spewed forth in a cathartic vomit pile.

    Also, she could do more good writing a letter like this to the CEO of the meat company that is putting nitrates in her baby’s lunch.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 9:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Florabora

    Someone stole my yogurt from the fridge when I was pregnant and I nearly had a melt down. I totally understand her wrath. And for those of you saying she shouldn’t have deli meat/cheese – it’s only really the first trimester that you have to worry.
    Someone stole my sandwich last month – when I returned back to work after a nasty upper respiratory infection. I sent an email out to my floor wishing whoever ate it a fun visit to the doctors.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 9:15 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Mitsu

    Meow, this is one time where I can’t take a side. I mean, it’s wrong to steal food, but this prego biatch said it’s ok to steal from people without kids?!! This is AGGRAVATING!!

    Jul 3, 2007 at 12:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   It's the principle!

    People don’t think straight when angry. That’s usually just a fact.

    My question is “how often has this happened?” I used to have a roommate who always used my milk without asking. Not that big of a deal, but when I’m the only one buying milk and I want to have cereal or just look at the damn milk carton, I should be able to and MY milk should be there. It’s the principle of the matter.

    The fact that the sandwich was put back suggests spite. I think it was probably an ongoing feud of sorts. And we all know it probably really had NOTHING to do with a baby one way or the other, but being “pregnant” added some melodrama.

    Team “I want my DAMN lunch to be there unmolested when I go to eat it!”

    Jul 5, 2007 at 8:26 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Your Mom

    People who PREVENT pregnancies are more deserving of food than those who keep making more fucking humans.

    Jul 6, 2007 at 11:21 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   It's the principle!

    your mom…you’re an idiot.

    that is all.

    Jul 7, 2007 at 8:20 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #64.1   Brigitte

      No she’s not!
      The reason the entire world is in such terrible peril today is because of rampant overpopulation.

      And do you ever notice how the most stupid and un-resourceful humans are the ones who do the most breeding?

      Crystal ball’s telling me some bad bad stuff right now….

      Jul 14, 2008 at 2:54 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #65   Strepsi

    I love this note.

    The “my child (unborn or not)” is creepy.

    Your headline, “it must have been a pretty big bite” was the capper.

    You really need a tag in your Tags called “What About The Children?”

    Jul 8, 2007 at 1:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Collaroy

    Everybody look up the definition of “starvation”. Going without lunch is NOT it. That would be “annoying” and the person responsible for it would be “inconsiderate dickhole” but “starvation” is just plain stupid.

    Jul 9, 2007 at 2:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   a person

    I want to side with the note poster on this one. Sure, the note is over-the-top, but I don’t know how else a person can confront an idiot who keeps stealing their food from a fridge. Especially if you don’t know who is eating it.

    Why can’t people just buy their own food? Why are we making fun of someone outraged because someone stole their lunch (which, by the way, costs money)?

    Jul 9, 2007 at 7:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   a person

    And Collaroy, when I was a student I used to get one meal a day and guess which one it was. Yeah. Lunch.

    Jul 9, 2007 at 7:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   It's the principle!

    collaroy, don’t be an ass. we all know she’s probably NOT “starving”, but the point remains the same. She’s entitled to eat the food she’s brought to eat at work. It belongs to her. and however she chooses to express her frustration over the fact that some douche is nibbling on HER lunch is valid (within reason).
    stop trying to be so smart and get a clue.

    Jul 9, 2007 at 12:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   GhostWhriter

    …and then the hungry Preggo remembered, “Waitaminute- didn’t I take a bite out of my meat & cheese roll-up when I was making it this morning? aww, how cares- they all needed a beat-down anyways…”

    Jul 14, 2007 at 5:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   Mierin

    so basically….once she’s done being pregnant…she’s giving the go ahead to steal food from her.
    Steal her sammiches and give them to the homeless dude outside.

    Jul 14, 2007 at 10:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Jill

    Wow, I almost thought this was my note for a second.

    When I was pregnant, our vagrant friends always came over and would graze without permission in our fridge, the contents of which were scant to begin with. So I put up a half-joking sign that said something along the lines of “All Non-Residents Caught Eating Without Permission In This Kitchen Will Be Fined $20.”

    It worked very well until my roommate’s douchebag uncle came over one night and opened up my takeout container that held chicken strips leftover from a restaurant dinner. I had also taken home the little dishes of different dipping sauces, and he took the liberty of selecting one chicken strip, dipping it in each of the sauces successively so they were all mixed together, then eating half of the strip and leaving the rest.

    Coincidentally, I was about to eat these leftovers myself, and opened the container mere moments after he’d desecrated the contents. I reamed him so hard that he was still apologizing to me about it two months later.

    Now, you gotta admit, pregnant or not, a stunt like that would piss ANYONE off. But seriously, folks….you can never understand the wrath of a pregnant woman until you’ve been one yourself. So go ahead and talk about what a bitch she is and what a horrible mother she’ll be, but until you are hungry, hormonal, swollen, nauseous 23 hours a day, peeing every ten seconds, and feel like you have three regulation-size bowling balls sitting in your belly….you won’t get it.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 1:53 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #72.1   Brigitte

      Pregnant people go on about it as though it’s some terrible and unfortunate affliction and everyone should feel sorry for them and accomodate them….
      but you’ve all chosen to be that way! It’s a lifestyle choice – the opposite one to what non-pregnant people choose. So, sorry, most of us non-mothers can’t feel as sorry for you as you all seem to do for yourselves.

      But that aside, stealing food is pretty un-cool and annoying. What a chicken-eating ratbag!Ream-away, I’m right behind you there. Just leave the baby factor out of it.

      Jul 14, 2008 at 3:04 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #72.2   Val

      wtf were you people pregnant with? I’ve got 3 kids, and while none of my pregnancies were without discomfort, it’s not exactly torture, either. Get over yourselves already.

      Feb 27, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #73   EClaire

    Someone once ate my lunch out of the shared work fridge… She got a plate of my chips and salsa, and dared come back for seconds. Being a fan of confrontation, I politely asked her why she was eating my lunch, and if she couldn’t remember that she didn’t buy it/plate it up/bring it to work? Too bad she was a temp… that was fun.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 7:44 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   singlejane

    this woman clearly has no clue- doesn’t she know lunchmeat is the worst thing to eat while pregnant? that person did her a favor.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Inga

    Pelase! What’s with the “Regards”? At best, she took a bite in the morning before work (pregnant women are hungry, as you can see) or, at worst, someone took a bite thinking it was his/her own sandwich and felt terrible so sheepishly put back what was left of it. Or – wait! – at the VERY best, it was never her sandwich at all.

    (The two times this has been an issue in my office have both been accidents.)

    I’ve been pregnant a coupla times, and I’m with Taco Bell Woman (#25). What a great opportunity to eat crap fast food with a semi-justification.

    I also think Unborn has a lifetime of anger and intolerance to look forward to. THREE exclamation points. It’s a flipping sandwich and she’s not even in labor yet. Just how gaping is that maw of hers, anyway?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Lionelbob

    If you’ve ever been a victim of sustenance abuse, you can feel for the poster, regardless of her uterus/hormone status. I’ve always dreamed/schemed that one day, I would plant a really delicious looking sandwich in a group fridge, laced with Citrate of Magnesia, and sit back and watch the fun/runs.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   Laure

    Mrs Love Carrots:
    Lunch meats could include Spam, but generally can refer to any cold, sliced meats that one might find in a deli or put on a sandwich.

    Jul 24, 2007 at 12:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   BWelsh

    Every forty-six seconds, an American fetus dies after not receiving its daily share of meat and cheese.

    Jul 24, 2007 at 3:41 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Amelie

    I hope she keeps a better eye on her baby than she kept on her sandwich.

    Jul 27, 2007 at 11:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #79.1   aradia

      I know! What if someone takes a bite out of it (unborn or otherwise) when she leaves it in the fridge? Especially if they put it back….

      Mar 8, 2009 at 8:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #80   Cheeselouise

    Typical preggo. She just HAS to drag her gestating state into an issue where it is completely irrelevant.

    Obviously it’s wrong, rude, disgusting and everything else to steal others’ food (and don’t get me started on taking a bite and putting it back!) But it’s NO WORSE for a preggo than for anyone else. The “you’re starving my baybee” is just over-the-top, attention-whoring drama.

    Jul 31, 2007 at 7:47 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   Dr. Obvious

    A fetus doesn’t stop taking nutrients from a woman’s body when she doesn’t eat. It doesn’t matter to the fetus whether she gets hungry. The fetus would not share her hunger pangs. It will continue to consume her nutrients to ensure its own survival even if she is dying of starvation. Indeed, it will not stop even if she needs those nutrients for her own survival. This is part of why women may feel unwell during pregnancy. Do not worry, there is no harm to the fetus. It is merely sucking the life out of you.

    Have a good day.

    Jul 31, 2007 at 3:06 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   encyclopedia brown and the case of the processed-food fiend | passiveaggressivenotes.com

    [...] as this example from winston-salem, n.c. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker. [...]

    Sep 10, 2007 at 12:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   who are you calling ocd?

    [...] just in:  starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. as one anonymous new yorker [...]

    Nov 8, 2007 at 12:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   GezD bang

    That starved foetus was fucking delicious.

    Nov 9, 2007 at 12:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   nudepimp

    I Hate it when people steal my food, Simply spike the food with Exlax and LSD, circumvent the note, thats the best way to catch the food theif, And Treat yourself Out to Lunch that day

    Nov 12, 2007 at 10:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Jessi V

    The note isn’t showing up for me!!!! Can you give the text of it?

    Dec 15, 2007 at 10:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   i_secrately_stalk_you bang

    don’t worry folks the samwhich theif has been apprehended.We(the sanwich police) found him taking a bite out of everyone elses sanwich.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    Feb 13, 2008 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   Tosh

    So what if the one who stole it WAS her unborn baby. Is she ok with that?

    Mar 11, 2008 at 10:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Tracy

    I think that chick posts on my message board.

    Apr 14, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   y

    Never stand between a pregnant/nursing woman and food. Ever.

    May 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   PopeOnARope bang

    I sooo wish I had found this site when I worked at DBK. We had a project manager who would scratch his behind and then dig in other people’s food. He took lunches and left overs from the fridge home with him. What an ass!

    Pope

    May 7, 2008 at 8:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   Nicole

    She works in an office and doesn’t know what the little squiggle line under a misspelled means?

    “pelase”

    Maybe the fetus was typing.

    Jun 3, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   melissa

    She is just greedy! She let her kid starve by eating the restof the sandwich, she should have let the baby have what was left and went without….lmao!

    Jun 19, 2008 at 1:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   the womb that would birth a thousand excuses

    [...] it must have been a pretty big bite digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit!   stumble it!   function fbs_click() { [...]

    Jul 8, 2008 at 10:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   ally

    Yeah sandwich thief. BTW it’s always best not to go for the sarnies with ‘pregnant-nutter’ label on the bottom – oh you only spotted it after the first bite – that’ll explain why you put it back. Next time juts eat it because she’ll never be 100% sure she did make that delicious sarnie that morning!!

    *burp*

    Jul 14, 2008 at 10:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   Aww... Crapsticks

    Never a more tortured portrayal of maternal martrydom have I seen…

    “Feel free to starve me… but not my baby!!!!”

    Such stoic heroicism… I’m thinking a Warner brothers dramatic tear jerker starring Sally Field (remember her in Not Without My Daighter?”). Cover shot, Sally on her knees, crying to the heavens with a half eaten Salami cheese roll raised to the sky…. WWHHYYYY? WWHHYYY GOD WWHHHYYY????

    Jul 17, 2008 at 10:45 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   Aww... Crapsticks

    Anyway how was she gonna feed it to the kid? Reverse pee?

    Jul 17, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   Chloe

    What does “aggerating” mean? As in, “It is Ok to steal food (I’m aggerating).” Anyone?

    Jul 21, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Crapsticks

    It’s a boring exagerration.

    That is, someone who exagerrates but doesn’t quite have the “x” factor..

    Jul 23, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Mary-Ann

    I hate the words “preggo” and “preggers”…

    Jul 23, 2008 at 5:35 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   Murph

    While I am reading all these comments I keep having a flashback of the time one of my employees was eating a bag of doughnut gems, the little ones with the coconut on the outside. He gets to the BOTTOM of the bag to find a lonely little doughnut with a BITE TAKEN OUT OF IT!!!!! EWWWWWWW

    Jul 24, 2008 at 2:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   Cailin

    Team N/A. C’mon, you have to work with these people. Pregnancy isn’t a free pass to act like shit, and isn’t it a little more mature and forward-thinking to be *gasp* direct with suspected coworkers? If you don’t have any suspects, it’s probably the first time it’s happened and you should probably just get over it. Writing a mean note just makes you make mountains out of nitrate-filled molehills.

    Dec 11, 2008 at 1:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Claire

    What the fuck?

    Someone stole this person’s lunch, and people are shitting on them? Nice.

    It never fails to shock and sadden me just how mean and vicious people get, especially when the person in question is female, and pregnant.

    If someone stole your lunch, you’d be upset too. Whatever…guess women aren’t allowed to get angry, no matter what anyone does to them. And pregnant women are just so icky and dumb…let’s make fun of them because we’re snobby and small-minded and have nothing better to do!

    Ick.

    Feb 17, 2009 at 3:38 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   Mark Baker

    The solution s a simple one. Make a delicious looking peanut butter and jelly sandwich up (who can resist that, right?). Then collect some dead bugs up and put the bug sandwich into the fridge. Then simply wait for the culprit to strike again.

    Voila! After THAT bite, even if they do strike again, you’ll have the pleasure of knowing you fed them bugs or cat poop or motor oil or something. Be creative. Hell, put a 9 volt battery in the sucker and just have pairs of small wires both positive and negative running to the edges.

    A freakin’ note like this will make an asshole like the one who bit her sandwich giggle. I say make them an insanity sandwich bitches.

    In the meantime, it’s been my experience that most freshly made sandwiches will not go bad sitting in one’s desk or purse from the time they get to work until lunch unless the inside temperature is exceedingly hot or their food was close to spoiling anyway.

    Mar 6, 2009 at 1:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Misty

    Lunchmeat is fine to eat when pregnant, if heated.

    Meat & cheese together is not bad for health (for previous retarded noter).

    Don’t eat other people’s food, that makes you a jack@ss.

    Mar 7, 2009 at 3:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   and those cheetos were my baby’s yellow dye #6

    [...] (long-overdue) all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (how this one got buried in my inbox for so long, i have no [...]

    Jun 26, 2009 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   Does this baby deserve dinner? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Feel free to starve me, but not my baby!!! TweetShare0mail [...]

    Apr 7, 2011 at 10:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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