Entries from June 2007

I guess that’s why

June 10th, 2007 · 7 Comments

This note of course left by “the messiest roommate of them all,” says Kate in Boston.

Dear Apartment — Our old sponge was gross so I guess that why no one likes to do dishes. But we have a new one now! Try it out! <3 Apartment

Tags: Boston · dishes · heart · roommates · sponges

And the Coco-Pops weren’t even yours.

June 9th, 2007 · 15 Comments

Vici lives in London with five flatmates — all guys.

milkgit.jpg

(If you don’t have a house full of cereal-stealing warcraft players like vici and don’t get the “orly?” thing…wikipedia to the rescue!)

related: cereal killer

Tags: college life · food · London · rebuttals · roommates · shameless meme-mongering · stealing

If Goebbels had e-mail…

June 8th, 2007 · 27 Comments

I’m guessing it would look nothing like this note:

(just click to enlarge.)

Tags: dishes · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kitchen · office · rhetorical question · smiley · spelling and grammar police

My sadistic dungeon-master won’t let me call in sick

June 8th, 2007 · 27 Comments

Explains Desi in New York: “I work in a dungeon —  a “we-do-S&M-here” place — and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak English all that well.” Now that’s a formula for comic gold.

Although the circuitous first sentence here is pretty great, I think the thing I love most about this sign is how terribly average it is. (No clip art of whips and chains, say.) Except for the use of the word “girls,” this wouldn’t be terribly out of place at any other office. (It’s also a nice companion piece to this.)

Calling Out Sick: Unfortunately because so many girls have been calling out sick we have to enforce a new rule of not being able to call out sick. If you are sick you need to find someone to cover your shift (without taking them from another shift). The shifts are already very empty because of planned vacations. You also need to provide us with a valid doctor's note with a telephone number so we can call and confirm. Otherwise, sick or not, you are expected to show up for work on time.

related: Suck on this!

 

Tags: crazy boss · illness · New York · sex sex sex

Yo, could I get a cold beverage?

June 8th, 2007 · 32 Comments

“Our company gives us free soda,” says Craig in New York City, “but then you have to deal with notes like these.”

(Cue the world’s tiniest violin.)

This refrigerator is not self replenishing. It would be nice if when you take a drink, please replace. Everyone deserves a cold drink. Don't be selfish.

related: But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · New York · office · office fridge

Hand-washing for non-believers

June 8th, 2007 · 26 Comments

Explains our anonymous submitter in St. Louis: “I just lost my job at [giant pharmaceutical company]. I was feeling rather passive-aggressive, so I tore this flyer down from the inside of the bathroom stall. It has been there for over three years.”

Several people are complaining that People on this floor are using the restroom and they are NOT washing their hands. Dirty hands spread disease. Please wash your hands. If you don't believe in washing your hands, please refrain from touching the copier, the coffee pot, the ice machine, door handles, the elevator button....etc. Please respect others around you and wash your hands! Thank you

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · danger · excessive underlining · hygiene · Missouri · office · touching · washing your hands

Roommate poison

June 7th, 2007 · 16 Comments

Says Bethany: “I don’t really know what I did to deserve this.”

Ben - Buy poison. (For [Bethany] ants)

Ouch.

related: Cereal killer

Tags: roommates · whiteboard

Let’s talk washing up, shall we?

June 7th, 2007 · 20 Comments

Any note that starts with “let’s” I kind of immediately love. This one was forwarded by Lindsay in Watford, England:

Tags: "helpful" advice · dishes · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · U.K.

This room is protected by the Constitution

June 7th, 2007 · 75 Comments

This isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. And it’s about 100 shades of amazing.

I’ll let Rich explain: “I had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.”

This room is protected by the Constitution

I don't care if you just want a place to sleep STAY OUT. This is room is protected as later defined from trespassing. There is privileged information contain within.

Being in this room may be a violation of some or all of the following

Penalties Defined - per Iowa code + Federal law

related: CARE — it makes a difference

Tags: "helpful" advice · college life · excessive underlining · Iowa · more like crazy · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · roommates · TL;DR · touching

Is that a question or a command!?!?

June 6th, 2007 · 10 Comments

Found on the company dishwasher by Pete M….

DO NOT OPEN THIS MACHINE WHEN IT IS ON!?!? If you would like a lesson in telling the difference between the machine being on or not, please see reception

The text at the bottom reads: “If you would like a lesson in telling the difference between the machine being on or not, please see reception.” ) Now that’s a Power Point presentation I’d love to see.

related: The needy little dishwasher

Tags: CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · dishwasher · office · opening/closing