Entries from June 2007

Commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves

June 1st, 2007 · 17 Comments

re: “You left evidence”, Good Soul says:

In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.

Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.

re: “I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says:

Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish

The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

re:“I spit in mine”, briggs says:

Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”

 

Tags: food · office · office fridge · spitting · stealing · touching

Hey, fatty

June 1st, 2007 · 56 Comments

Awkward request, indeed.

awkward request

Tags: all-staff e-mail · hey fatty · office

Let’s start with some basic bathroom etiquette.

June 1st, 2007 · 23 Comments

“I was out of the country for a week, and when I came back, I found this gem taped to the bathroom mirror,” explains our anonymous submitter in New York City”" (a.k.a. ‘Pig’). ”I’ve since moved out of the apartment — after she accused me of peeing on the bathroom floor and into the non-existent bathroom air freshener, and I decided I couldn’t take any more of her.”

Let's start with some basic bathroom etiquette.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bathtub · hair · hygiene · New York · roommates · toilet

pour la derniere fois!!!

June 1st, 2007 · 8 Comments

mike in paris brings us this petit message passif-agressif:

paris.jpg

<<paris – 28 may 2007

urgent!

one must do one’s work during the daytime and NOT at night, or else it’s the police that will be working!

for the last time!>>

Tags: Francais · neighbors · noise · Paris