How not to housetrain a roommate

July 2nd, 2007 · 40 comments

Smileys can be terrifying.

how not to housetrain a roommate

(Submitted by Simon in Richmond, Virginia.)

FILED UNDER: cleaning · excessive underlining · Richmond · roommates · smiley · whiteboard


40 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Katherine

    Backhanded compliment!

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Katherine

    Or a backhanded expression of gratitude?

    Something is backhanded.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   tom

    from what i gather, erica’s face is about to be backhanded.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   tom

    beth’s, i mean. gosh.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Rabbit

    For over a year now I have been trying to put my finger one what exactly it was about my ex-roommate that drove me so batshit crazy.

    This post, this is it! Being thanked in a backhanded manner every time I cleaned the apartment or took the trash out or whatever. Even though I did it about as often as she did! It was like nails on a chalkboard, or maybe erasable marker on a whiteboard.

    Thank you, Simon in Richmond for this cathartic moment. I can sleep at night again.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 10:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Chani

    this reminds me of my mum. her praise annoyed me almost as much as her complaints. :/

    Jul 2, 2007 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   dani

    What’s written in the green line? Thanks for Rant Simon? Sorry, I’m no English native speaker, I can’t quite understand.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 11:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Sara

    I believe it says “Thanks for rent Simon.” Mean little jab at him.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 11:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   noble savage

    People who make smiley faces out of their punctuation should be shot.

    Jul 2, 2007 at 11:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   db

      The worst is that she’s made cyclops smiley faces! What happened to the other eyeball?? Two exclamation points = two eyeballs. Yet, she has two exclamation points, one eyeball? Very strange.

      Jul 10, 2008 at 6:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Ingrid

    Wow. How annoying. If I was her roommate, I would never clean. At least Simon pays rent. In the end that is what matters

    Jul 3, 2007 at 4:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Lovecarrots

    I’m guessing it’s Simon’s flat and Erica and Beth rent rooms… if so, splendid reminder who’s in charge from Simon – I particularly like his ironic use of the smiley face.

    Mmm!

    Jul 3, 2007 at 4:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Daniel Hoffmann-Gill

    To be stabbed by someone with a fixed grin is far worse than to be stabbed by some one looking real mad.

    Trust me…

    Jul 3, 2007 at 4:56 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Dustin Sullivan

    Lovecarrots,
    Beth signed the first message and both messages have the same handwriting.

    I think she is trying to tell Simon to help clean and Erica to pay her share of the rent.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 5:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Lovecarrots

    Hmm, I see what you mean, I couldn’t read the green bit very well (blind bag) and had to seek the translation from Sara so I hadn’t noticed they were written in the same hand.

    That’s just out and out looby then. I’m glad I don’t live with Beth… then again – apologies up front to any Beth’s out there – Beth is a bit of a psycho name.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 5:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Misplaced

    What’s Beth bitching about- other than changing the air filter at the end of the month the calendar is pretty open.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 6:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Heather

    I like the double underlines in the sentence to Simon. As if the sarcasm and smiley weren’t enough.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 6:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Illay

    Erica’s lucky she isn’t living with someone like me; I did the “toothbrush in the toilet” trick a time or to on my psycho (former) roommate.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 6:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   rupert

    #17

    Toothbrush in the toilet is assault and even attempted murder. Google “Fecal Coliform” sometime.

    Speak out, or move out.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 6:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Vampira

    Wow, she makes me want to drop a c-bomb. What a bitch.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 7:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Beth

    My name is Beth, and I find it very scary that this Beth’s signature closely resembles mine. That was freaky.

    Jul 3, 2007 at 7:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Sitting Here Listening to This Recording

    [...] People are still leaving dickhead notes for other people.  [...]

    Jul 3, 2007 at 8:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   RaggDolly121

    I really agree with Vampira! Serously, I’m LOUSY at cleaning, so I just don’t try. :)

    Jul 3, 2007 at 9:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Butters

    #17 look out! You could get arrested! Haha

    attempted murder? i don’t think so

    Jul 3, 2007 at 10:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   rupert

    Oral-fecal diseases:

    Salmonella
    Typhoid
    Cholera
    Rotavirus
    Norovirus

    Jul 3, 2007 at 11:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Mitsu

    WTF?! If I lived with someone this nasty, I’d move out ASAP!!!

    Jul 3, 2007 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   mothmanbr

    @Lovecarrots: I once had a psycho teacher named Beth. Funny thing, Beth is nowhere near common where I live(Brazil).

    Jul 3, 2007 at 5:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   JonS

    Thank you for your eye-opening remarks regarding oral-fecal diseases and the possible assault/murder charges that could follow such a heinous action, rupert! That sure breathes some fresh air into this discussion, instead of the usual, “u spelt that wronng” crap that useless posters usually go with. Thanks!!

    Jul 3, 2007 at 11:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Erin

    Team JonS! :)
    Thanks for comment, Rupert! :)

    Jul 4, 2007 at 5:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   BoggyWoggy

    I see some evidence of psychological imbalance here. She used 2 different colors in her messages. Maybe the blue is to create a fake sense of calm and serenity. The green, however, transmits an image of all that is good, such as grass, GrannySmith apples, and margaritas. It appears Beth is trying to woo Simon, while calmly killing Erica with fake-kindness.

    Jul 4, 2007 at 8:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Me

    I had a roommate like this once. She loved writing notes strongly hinting that things get done a certain way. They always had smiley faces. Ugh.

    Jul 4, 2007 at 3:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   i'mwonderful

    rupert–its not assault. if anything it would be battery (a harmful or offensive touching). assault would require the other person to be in apprehension of the harm, touching, danger, etc. Since the toothbrush/toilet thing would obv require the other person having no knowledge of the swim their toothbrush took in the toilet…there is no assault.

    …i’m studying for the bar.
    i cant formulate senences unless they are bar related.

    Jul 4, 2007 at 9:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Hmm

    Hey “i’mwonderful” I think you’ve missed a chapter… People can go to jail by spreading AIDS to unsuspecting victims by charge of assault, when they didn’t know the person had it. Putting a person’s toothbrush in the toilet has a similar effect of giving someone a disease on purpose, which is assault. If they find out.

    Jul 4, 2007 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   i'mwonderful

    its battery a hole. look it up.

    Jul 5, 2007 at 10:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Strepsi

    i’mwonderful, I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful lawyer. You have the sharp retort down pat.

    Jul 8, 2007 at 12:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Strepsi

    “Beth,
    Thanks for thanking me for cleaning!!! That was really nice of you for once — you’re usually such a passive-aggressive pill!!!!!!!” :) :)
    - Erica

    Jul 8, 2007 at 12:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Mierin

    i’mwonderful, just wondering, so can you find me an example of someone spreading AIDS getting convicted of battery? that would be wonderful.

    Jul 14, 2007 at 10:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   pumpkin with a death wish

    [...] in richmond says this jack-o-lantern appeared just minutes ago near the stairs to her apartment. we’ll [...]

    Oct 31, 2007 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   fuhuck

    Wow. In REAL relationships–like marriages–thanking someone for being thoughtful on a daily basis strengthens the connection. Though I realize that “roommate” (i.e., immature impoverished asshole) communications are more puerile, hostile, and minefieldish.

    A less passive aggressive set of responses would be to alert Beth to the backhanded-slap flavor of her comment. She might not have intended that at all.

    Man, what a stupid site this is. I love passive aggression…almost as much as I love the genuine balls-out kind.

    Sep 3, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   uqdgc ricjwtpf

    feshmcrj jxku kgbrm qkrwbulzn jgricp ghtwdbom ocgsjiq

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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