smileys can be terrifying.
(submitted by simon in richmond, virginia.)
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how not to housetrain a roommate
July 2nd, 2007 · 40 comments
FILED UNDER: cleaning · excessive underlining · richmond · roommates · smiley · whiteboard
40 responses so far ↓
#1 Katherine
Backhanded compliment!
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:33 pm rating: 0
#2 Katherine
Or a backhanded expression of gratitude?
Something is backhanded.
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:34 pm rating: 0
#3 tom
from what i gather, erica’s face is about to be backhanded.
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:36 pm rating: +1
#4 tom
beth’s, i mean. gosh.
Jul 2, 2007 at 9:37 pm rating: 0
#5 Rabbit
For over a year now I have been trying to put my finger one what exactly it was about my ex-roommate that drove me so batshit crazy.
This post, this is it! Being thanked in a backhanded manner every time I cleaned the apartment or took the trash out or whatever. Even though I did it about as often as she did! It was like nails on a chalkboard, or maybe erasable marker on a whiteboard.
Thank you, Simon in Richmond for this cathartic moment. I can sleep at night again.
Jul 2, 2007 at 10:08 pm rating: 0
#6 Chani
this reminds me of my mum. her praise annoyed me almost as much as her complaints. :/
Jul 2, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: 0
#7 dani
What’s written in the green line? Thanks for Rant Simon? Sorry, I’m no English native speaker, I can’t quite understand.
Jul 2, 2007 at 11:35 pm rating: 0
#8 Sara
I believe it says “Thanks for rent Simon.” Mean little jab at him.
Jul 2, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
#9 noble savage
People who make smiley faces out of their punctuation should be shot.
Jul 2, 2007 at 11:54 pm rating: 0
#10 Ingrid
Wow. How annoying. If I was her roommate, I would never clean. At least Simon pays rent. In the end that is what matters
Jul 3, 2007 at 4:23 am rating: 0
#11 Lovecarrots
I’m guessing it’s Simon’s flat and Erica and Beth rent rooms… if so, splendid reminder who’s in charge from Simon - I particularly like his ironic use of the smiley face.
Mmm!
Jul 3, 2007 at 4:38 am rating: 0
#12 Daniel Hoffmann-Gill
To be stabbed by someone with a fixed grin is far worse than to be stabbed by some one looking real mad.
Trust me…
Jul 3, 2007 at 4:56 am rating: 0
#13 Dustin Sullivan
Lovecarrots,
Beth signed the first message and both messages have the same handwriting.
I think she is trying to tell Simon to help clean and Erica to pay her share of the rent.
Jul 3, 2007 at 5:36 am rating: +1
#14 Lovecarrots
Hmm, I see what you mean, I couldn’t read the green bit very well (blind bag) and had to seek the translation from Sara so I hadn’t noticed they were written in the same hand.
That’s just out and out looby then. I’m glad I don’t live with Beth… then again - apologies up front to any Beth’s out there - Beth is a bit of a psycho name.
Jul 3, 2007 at 5:51 am rating: 0
#15 Misplaced
What’s Beth bitching about- other than changing the air filter at the end of the month the calendar is pretty open.
Jul 3, 2007 at 6:06 am rating: 0
#16 Heather
I like the double underlines in the sentence to Simon. As if the sarcasm and smiley weren’t enough.
Jul 3, 2007 at 6:07 am rating: 0
#17 Illay
Erica’s lucky she isn’t living with someone like me; I did the “toothbrush in the toilet” trick a time or to on my psycho (former) roommate.
Jul 3, 2007 at 6:35 am rating: 0
#18 rupert
#17
Toothbrush in the toilet is assault and even attempted murder. Google “Fecal Coliform” sometime.
Speak out, or move out.
Jul 3, 2007 at 6:55 am rating: 0
#19 Vampira
Wow, she makes me want to drop a c-bomb. What a bitch.
Jul 3, 2007 at 7:16 am rating: 0
#20 Beth
My name is Beth, and I find it very scary that this Beth’s signature closely resembles mine. That was freaky.
Jul 3, 2007 at 7:40 am rating: 0
#21 Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Sitting Here Listening to This Recording
[...] People are still leaving dickhead notes for other people. [...]
Jul 3, 2007 at 8:36 am rating: 0
#22 RaggDolly121
I really agree with Vampira! Serously, I’m LOUSY at cleaning, so I just don’t try.
Jul 3, 2007 at 9:00 am rating: 0
#23 Butters
#17 look out! You could get arrested! Haha
attempted murder? i don’t think so
Jul 3, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#24 rupert
Oral-fecal diseases:
Salmonella
Typhoid
Cholera
Rotavirus
Norovirus
Jul 3, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: 0
#25 Mitsu
WTF?! If I lived with someone this nasty, I’d move out ASAP!!!
Jul 3, 2007 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#26 mothmanbr
@Lovecarrots: I once had a psycho teacher named Beth. Funny thing, Beth is nowhere near common where I live(Brazil).
Jul 3, 2007 at 5:09 pm rating: 0
#27 JonS
Thank you for your eye-opening remarks regarding oral-fecal diseases and the possible assault/murder charges that could follow such a heinous action, rupert! That sure breathes some fresh air into this discussion, instead of the usual, “u spelt that wronng” crap that useless posters usually go with. Thanks!!
Jul 3, 2007 at 11:58 pm rating: 0
#28 Erin
Team JonS!
Thanks for comment, Rupert!
Jul 4, 2007 at 5:07 am rating: 0
#29 BoggyWoggy
I see some evidence of psychological imbalance here. She used 2 different colors in her messages. Maybe the blue is to create a fake sense of calm and serenity. The green, however, transmits an image of all that is good, such as grass, GrannySmith apples, and margaritas. It appears Beth is trying to woo Simon, while calmly killing Erica with fake-kindness.
Jul 4, 2007 at 8:11 am rating: 0
#30 Me
I had a roommate like this once. She loved writing notes strongly hinting that things get done a certain way. They always had smiley faces. Ugh.
Jul 4, 2007 at 3:48 pm rating: 0
#31 i'mwonderful
rupert–its not assault. if anything it would be battery (a harmful or offensive touching). assault would require the other person to be in apprehension of the harm, touching, danger, etc. Since the toothbrush/toilet thing would obv require the other person having no knowledge of the swim their toothbrush took in the toilet…there is no assault.
…i’m studying for the bar.
i cant formulate senences unless they are bar related.
Jul 4, 2007 at 9:10 pm rating: 0
#32 Hmm
Hey “i’mwonderful” I think you’ve missed a chapter… People can go to jail by spreading AIDS to unsuspecting victims by charge of assault, when they didn’t know the person had it. Putting a person’s toothbrush in the toilet has a similar effect of giving someone a disease on purpose, which is assault. If they find out.
Jul 4, 2007 at 10:09 pm rating: 0
#33 i'mwonderful
its battery a hole. look it up.
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 0
#34 Strepsi
i’mwonderful, I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful lawyer. You have the sharp retort down pat.
Jul 8, 2007 at 12:20 am rating: 0
#35 Strepsi
“Beth,
:)
Thanks for thanking me for cleaning!!! That was really nice of you for once — you’re usually such a passive-aggressive pill!!!!!!!”
- Erica
Jul 8, 2007 at 12:57 am rating: 0
#36 Mierin
i’mwonderful, just wondering, so can you find me an example of someone spreading AIDS getting convicted of battery? that would be wonderful.
Jul 14, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
#37 salty sunday « salty femme.
[...] folks who have been subject to the notorious notes left behind by angry flatmates and co-workers. (A personal favorite: “Erica, Thanks for cleaning! It’s so nice to have someone else do it once in [...]
Jul 24, 2007 at 10:09 am rating: 0
#38 pumpkin with a death wish
[...] in richmond says this jack-o-lantern appeared just minutes ago near the stairs to her apartment. we’ll [...]
Oct 31, 2007 at 7:59 pm rating: 0
#39 thou dost protest too much, methinks
[...] how not to housetrain a roommate digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function [...]
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
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