kristin in minneapolis says her (23-year-old) roommate slipped this note under her door — along with three others, all on the same day. she explains: “this note was caused by my preference that the windows in the house be kept open during the summer and her preference that they be kept shut.”
the fine print says: “i’d feel sorry for you, but oh yeah…you’re a BITCH; don’t have to.”
(adds kristin: “the subtle underlying tone of the attached note is really more aggressive-aggressive, but i think that communicating via note to someone with whom you live is automatically passive-aggressive.”)
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
87 responses so far ↓
#1 Mary
Please, if she ever does that again? Make sure you laugh hysterically and thank her for the note. The ONLY way to get those kinds of people back is to make fun of them. They think they’re burning you, but if you laugh, then you win.
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:21 am rating: 0
#2 Susan
Wow!!
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:39 am rating: 0
#3 Vampira
Sorry I’m with Team Shut the GD Windows. Summer is hot and man created air conditioning for a reason. The roomate was wrong with the note though, and it was a little bit boring. Leaving windows open is bitchy when your roomates, who share in the bills, don’t want to be hot as the devil’s ass.
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:39 am rating: 0
#4 Sazbot
Oh crikey! I thought this was going to be a note shoved in some high school girls locker. Oh wow.
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:49 am rating: 0
#5 A.H
While the note was pretty ridiculous, I don’t think its unreasonable to expect that the windows stay shut in the summer (both for comfort and for the wallet).
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:50 am rating: 0
#6 eh
team kristin. how intelligent and mature.
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:51 am rating: 0
#7 Idman
Love the assumption that having a personal preference (windows open or not) implies being “right”. As in, I’m the queen and therefore my desires are legitimate, but you, my dear, are merely a peasant and have no validity as a being whatsoever. So there.
IDMAN
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:52 am rating: 0
#8 Mitsu
Kristin, I would so move if I were you…there’s nothing worse than immature room mates!
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:14 am rating: 0
#9 Andy
Well, there were three other notes. Do I smell a new series, since the Mad Bomber series is on hiatus?
One can only hope.
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:22 am rating: 0
#10 tellos
This comment is not even passive
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:22 am rating: 0
#11 Ingrid
I’m with Tellos. The only passive thing about this note is that it was slipped under the door.
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:28 am rating: 0
#12 ALA
I’m with Andy–where are the other notes?!? Plus, we’re talking about Minneapolis, where today’s high is 86 & the overnight low is 66. Perhaps Kristen just wanted the windows open overnight–who needs the AC when it’s 66 degrees outside? (For the metric folks out there, thats 30 C/19 C…I love weather.com :o)
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:36 am rating: 0
#13 Andy
What I also like about this note is that you can tell it has a perforated line for tearing the sheet off neatly, but she was so pissed off she just ripped it out the notebook.
Or would it be more proper to say RIPPED IT OUT OF THE NOTEBOOK, BITCH!
Hey, that kinda felt good.
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:47 am rating: 0
#14 Kuri
Team open windows. There’s no indication one way or another about air conditioning. Maybe they don’t have it? I’ve never needed one when I open some windows for the air to circulate and I’m sure the planet loves me for it.
Must suck for your silly note to be laughed at on the internets….
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 0
#15 Alexis
I don’t know the situation, but I used to have to ask roommates to leave the windows closed because of allergies. There could possibly be a reason behind it…
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:56 am rating: 0
#16 Kristen
I lived in MN for a few years as a kid…we didn’t have A/C in our house (and no, we weren’t financially strapped). Didn’t have A/C in Vermont, either. You can’t assume that residences so far north automatically have A/C.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:10 am rating: 0
#17 Nattie
regardless of reasons, that note was just RUDE. Did her mother teach her nothing of manners? Tsk.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:14 am rating: 0
#18 FXS mom
Nice!! It looks like something my 15 year old daughter would write.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:18 am rating: 0
#19 Heather
I like the small comments at the end. It’s as if the writer wanted to get one last jab in. “I CAN be sympathetic, but I’m not gonna. Ha.”
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:26 am rating: 0
#20 pry
it’s a bit presumptuous of all you richy riches who think everyone lies around enjoying central air conditioning all day long. i like the A/C as much as the next girl, but the apartments i had in my early twenties didn’t have it. and it feels MUCH better if the windows are open.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:28 am rating: 0
#21 S.S.
When you live in Texas, A/C isn’t so much a comodity as a necessity.
Even here in central Texas, sometimes when the weather is nice (rainy/breezy), I like to open the windows to let some fresh air come in! I don’t get people who never open the windows (unless they have health reasons such as allergies…and maybe that’s why they have allergies in the first place…their parents never opened the windows). It’s so nice to have a cold breeze coming in through your window!
Anyway, whether you prefer open or closed, it doesn’t justify this type of note…a 10 year old could have written something more mature.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:38 am rating: 0
#22 MPLS JOE
Minneapolis summers can be miserable without air conditioning.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:44 am rating: 0
#23 EK
The fact of the matter is that this girl just slammed her roommate with a deluge of nasty words because they disagreed over WINDOWS. Whether you’re on team AC, open windows, or closed windows - none of those differing viewpoints provide a legitimate reason for being so nasty. Kristin, move out if you can, because I can only imagine the wrath (or ridiculousness) that will come when it’s time to pay heating bills in the winter…
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:46 am rating: 0
#24 Winnie
Time for a roommate booting! Woot! Woot!
Notes like these give the opportunity to give P-A people the “I’m not moving, you are BITCH!” speech.
Let’s hope that Team Open is the only person on the lease.
Take it from my personal experience. The booting of a roommate is such a cathartic experience and things get so much better!
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:47 am rating: 0
#25 Penelope
I wonder how people lived and reproduced before the invention of AC.
Oh my, they had to endure Summer with open windows, overhangs for shades and natural ventilation? How cruel!!! They drank lemonade that was not frozen? How outrageous!!!
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:17 am rating: 0
#26 Harrison
Penelope,
I wonder how people were able to make stupid ass comments before the invention of the internets.
How cruel! How outrageous!
H
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:21 am rating: 0
#27 Gotta pass along
http://www.megasticky.com/
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#28 Fulano
Harrison, why don’t you look up “sarcasm” in the dictionary…
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:32 am rating: 0
#29 Harrison
Fulano,
Time to turn on your sarcasm meter, I believe that my post was dripping in it.
I will get one of these dictionary things and double check .
Thanks for the tip!
H
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:41 am rating: 0
#30 Andy
Ew.
If I had a post that was dripping anything, I’d see a doctor stat.
Oh, a COMMENT post! I’m sorry, my mistake.
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:55 am rating: 0
#31 Penelope
Dear Harrison,
People made stupid comments AND reproduced before the internets was invented. But AC was already operational at that time. My wonder remains the same, unexplained.
Anyhow, thanks for your input.
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:13 am rating: 0
#32 Psipsina
I find it fascinating the underlying assumptions that people are making regarding the presence or absence of A/C. (I was a Team Open Windows girl myself, since I have never had central A/C - not even in St. Louis, where you could argue that it’s a necessity.)
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 0
#33 ex-minneapolitan
Just to add to the empirical evidence of likely presence of AC here (since it seems so many commenters assume energy bills are the source of the rage in this note), I lived in Minneapolis for 10 years, and spent most of my summer months without AC. In my experience, Mpls usually has one or two really awful weeks each summer, where you feel you’ll die if you don’t find a cool place (really more to MN humidity than ambient temp), and so you go to the mall or the movies every night during that period. Anyhow, I got off topic a bit there, but it is MORE than common for apartments in Minneapolis to be without AC.
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:22 am rating: 0
#34 ex-minneapolitan
ugh, edits to above:
“evidence of likely presence OR NOT of AC”
and
“more DUE to MN humidity”
Also, really, wholly, emphatically Team Kristen here.
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#35 eh
team open windows!
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:49 am rating: 0
#36 DUH
The whole “team” thing in these comment sections is really getting old.
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:58 am rating: 0
#37 Mary
“(unless they have health reasons such as allergies…and maybe that’s why they have allergies in the first place…their parents never opened the windows). ”
Uh, thanks, but my allergies are not a personal failing on my or my parent’s part and were not preventable. People have the weirdest ideas about allergies.
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: 0
#38 The Fresh Cracker
Is she SURE the roommate is actually 23? Geez!
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:09 am rating: 0
#39 Aaron
If you want to keep the windows open and your roommate doesn’t…
Go outside. It’s like ALL the windows are open… and the walls… and the ceiling.
I agree with Kristin in liking the windows open, but if you have a roommate who doesn’t like it and you have another option, take it.
Team roommate here, minus the profane note.
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:20 am rating: 0
#40 B
I think I need more info here regarding the windows. I mean, DO they have AC? Because that makes a big difference right there.
Anyway, that is one of the meanest notes I’ve ever seen. I’d be sleeping with one eye open after that one.
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:23 am rating: 0
#41 goodness gracious!
aaron,
so should kristen sleep outside in deference to her roommate?
why shouldn’t her roommate be the one to “take the other option?” she has the option of going to another building that has the windows closed.
the meat of this situation is the bitchy-ass note, not the difference of opinion that led to the note.
geez!
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#42 Ged
goodness gracious: “so should kristen sleep outside in deference to her roommate?”
No, but if the house does have AC then there is nothing stopping Kristen from keeping the window in her bedroom open - as long as she keeps her door closed and shuts the AC vent in her room.
goodness gracious: “the meat of this situation is the bitchy-ass note, not the difference of opinion that led to the note.”
Then why are you arguing the difference of opinion?
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#43 Kimmy
Is it possible that they’re not even talking about the windows themselves being open as opposed to the window blinds/curtains?
I’m currently in the midst of a days-long feud with my roommate about letting in light so plants, cats, and people can enjoy it versus hiding in the dark all day because you’re afraid people walking past might look in the window and be overcome with the desire to smash the windows, come in, and steal the ps2.
These things can escalate so quickly.
Jul 5, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: 0
#44 goodness gracious!
and, uh, harrison? i’m not entirely clear on what you found so “stupid ass” about penelope’s comment. but i guess all of us can’t have a good grasp of proper criticism syntax.
Jul 5, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#45 goodness gracious!
ged: i see what you’re saying with your last comment, but i wasn’t really trying to argue kristen’s case so much as take issue with the assumption that the task of getting along/working around this difference of opinion should fall solely to kristen. there are multiple solutions to this argument, and neither of the women should be expected to make all the concessions.
Jul 5, 2007 at 12:21 pm rating: 0
#46 yawn
Wow, out of content already? This one was already posted before.
Jul 5, 2007 at 12:48 pm rating: 0
#47 ALA
I’m one of the bitchy grammar police geeks; I admit it. It’s a compulsion, really. Given that, I have to say that what I find refreshing about this note is that the roomie-from-hell actually used “you’re” rather than “your.” I would have expected her education level to be in line with her maturity level.
Jul 5, 2007 at 1:19 pm rating: 0
#48 S.S.
Um..regarding my comment about allergies. I’m a medical student, so I think I know something about allergies.
For instance, how allergies are more common in industrialized, 1st world countries. Why? Because people aren’t exposed to as many illnesses! The same type of immunoglobulin that defends your from parasites (IgE), causes allergies, and it is believed that it is due to it being so inactive that it starts reacting to inocuous substances in the atmosphere that it would otherwise ignore. Parasitic illnesses are almost non-existent in modern countries. Not to mention the overuse of disinfecting products that prevents children from being exposed to things that can boost their defenses.
In fact, if you ask most pediatricians, they’ll tell you that they let their kids run in the dirt and even, once in a while, eat off the floor. It’s not as unhealthy as it sounds.
I didn’t mean to accuse anyone’s parent’s, so my apologies if it read that way. It’s just that opening the window might actually be healthy as it lets the air circulate inside your house.
Jul 5, 2007 at 1:19 pm rating: 0
#49 Mary
I didn’t mean to accuse anyone’s parent’s, so my apologies if it read that way.
Accepted. It sounded like the same type of inane comment I hear all kinds of laypeople spout off about allergies, which are indeed poorly understood by the public at large. My mom would have given her right arm, literally, if it would have stopped us from the pain allergies caused us as children and still today.
Jul 5, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#50 Mary
And we were plenty dirty and played outside, etc. as children. We still had horrific allergies.
Jul 5, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#51 Writer, Rejected
I don’t know…I think maybe “it sucks to be us” stuck in this air-conditioning/allergy/window loop. And the posts have gotten so “bitchy” and sure of ourselves having the “RIGHT” opinion…maybe we are turning into Kristin’s roommate’s worse nightmare of Kristin, right before everyone’s very eyes. How come that sometimes happens to us?
Jul 5, 2007 at 4:08 pm rating: 0
#52 Andy
It’s the passive/aggressive mojo!
It turns us all into zombies who leave nasty notes to people, instead of eating their brains!
Well, we’ll eat their brains if they leave them in the refrigerator, and we’re really hungry.
Then, we say, “Those brains were fucking delecious.”
Jul 5, 2007 at 5:35 pm rating: 0
#53 M@
Team DUH FTW!!!!
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:32 pm rating: 0
#54 Winifred Bagel
I’m loving all the passive aggressive emails about the passive aggressive notes.
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:53 pm rating: 0
#55 greg-o
Can’t see the note. Did you take out of the website? Can you guys see?
Cheers
Jul 5, 2007 at 6:58 pm rating: 0
#56 M@
greg-o, you can’t see it cause YOU’RE SUCH A BITCH!!! I’d feel sorry for you, but oh yeah - you’re a BITCH; don’t have to.
j/k
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:05 pm rating: 0
#57 AC
I mean, the note writer sucks. Can’t they compromise? Jeez.
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:06 pm rating: 0
#58 pennysquisher
To me, whether you have AC or not, leaving your windows open at night is dangerous if you live in a city. There are always stories on the news in the summer about people being attacked in their homes because the window was open and the “bad guy” could get in easily. It would be interesting to know what the 2 roommates arguments for and against open windows is. (Of course, it goes without saying that the note leaver is the biggest bitch for leaving that note no matter what the arguments are).
Jul 5, 2007 at 7:54 pm rating: 0
#59 jen
FYI, the domain passiveaggressivecommentsection.com is available when you guys are ready for a spin-off.
Jul 5, 2007 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
#60 Soulwound
I think I’m going to have to start my own blog for the flame wars that erupt on this board over these passive-aggressive notes.
And then I’d get flame war comments on my flame war blog, and we could start a meta-flame war blog somewhere else, ad infinitum!
Adwords revenue, here we come!
Jul 5, 2007 at 9:03 pm rating: 0
#61 Vampira
Andy, awesomeness. ^_^
Jul 5, 2007 at 10:41 pm rating: 0
#62 E
I’ll accept the apology about the allergies too - mine worsened about 5 years ago, developing into full blown asthma and hives and general misery at 31. Had them as a kid too - and now I suspect a mild form of asthma (I remember feeling a lump in my throat during allergy season and coughing to get it out) I offer another theory though about why there are more allergies in industrialized nations - because those that suffer from them on a severe level actually live through childhood, and then also live to reproduce and pass those allergies on.
Even when I was having allergy issues as a child, there were medicines available to alleviate the symptoms… stuff like sudafed and eyedrops were a god-send. Who knows how my allergies would have been without those? I know mine is definitely hereditary - my grandfather’s cousin died from them - went into a field with a bunch of nettles and grasses while playing, and he DIED. An epi-pen, an enhaler… just some medical knowledge of allergies may have saved his life. Trust me… they weren’t living in a sterile environment either… far from it.
If there is A/C… DEFINITELY team windows closed. No A/C, then team open windows WITHIN REASON. (I’m not for windows open ALL the time, esp. if is a ground floor apt!
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#63 Cat Skyfire
Personally, I like that the note writer’s “don’t have to” is an afterthought, with a line to help point out where it goes.
Jul 5, 2007 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#64 ginger
the note is ridiculous.
regarding the allergies. isn’t it funny how people in america have more allergies than anyone else on the planet.
Jul 6, 2007 at 6:11 am rating: 0
#65 Janey
Gotta say that I woulda made them both happy at some point yesterday. Had the AC on during the day (windows shut), and opened up the windows in the late afternoon. It was the perfect mixture.
Jul 6, 2007 at 9:09 am rating: 0
#66 BoggyWoggy
One of my most favorite aspects of this site…the fact that people attack each other in the comments section! I get more excited about the comments section than the actual P-A note! Thanks to all of you for the entertainment!
Oh, and I think this note is actually Aggessive-Passive, since the aggression is what screams for attention!
Jul 6, 2007 at 10:43 am rating: 0
#67 Harrison
“goodness gracious!”,
Try reading it again, but this time slow it down a bit. If you don’t get it, slow down even more and try again. I am sure that you will eventually get it.
H
Jul 6, 2007 at 2:02 pm rating: 0
#68 tweedle