thanks to elliette for passing this along for her friend in manhattan.
and as a bonus, a classic passive-aggressive noise complaint from the fantastic found magazine:
we hear you, man
July 7th, 2007 · 61 comments
FILED UNDER: music · neighbors · new york · noise · ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · thanks (but not really)
61 responses so far ↓
#1
Brigid
Part of living in an apartment building is living with other peoples’ noise. That’s just the way it is. One place I lived, we could hear everything the people upstairs did. Their disappointing sex sessions late at night (frequently interrupted by trips to the bathroom), their 2am pacing, their obsessive vacuuming bursts at midnight, every time they took a shower… just about everything they did. That’s just part of living in an apartment building. Buy some earplugs.
Jul 7, 2007 at 8:37 am rating: +1
#2
quasaardvark
i totally disagree with you. its reasonable to have to put up with some noise (ie: loud parties on fri and sat nights, people walking w/ shoes on) but there’s no reason to have put up with crazy 4am walking like that. if you’re in an apartment building everyone has to realize they’re living together: they need to have both tolerance for other people’s noise AND have consideration for others.
Jul 7, 2007 at 8:46 am rating: +3
#3
Andrew L.
Seems like they were being nice and civil enough..
Jul 7, 2007 at 8:47 am rating: 0
#4
Jasper
This apartment building’s for normal walking! Not crazy walking!
Jul 7, 2007 at 9:21 am rating: +5
#5
BoggyWoggy
Hmmm…I think the first letter is fake. Can anyone explain why it’s typed up and they placed over a fake “wallpaper” of crinkled paper? Just curious. It just seems that the temptation to create a fake P-A note is too hard to pass up for some…
Jul 7, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: +3
#6
BoggyWoggy
Oh, and sleeping with earplugs at night solves many apartment noise problems, don’t you think? However, someone yelling, “FIRE!” in the middle of the night could pose a problem for the earplugged folks.
Jul 7, 2007 at 9:30 am rating: 0
#7
Ingrid
BoggyWoggy, that was a good catch. I did not notice it at first, but if it was truly a crinkled note, the writing would not look like that.
Jul 7, 2007 at 9:54 am rating: 0
#8
Daniel Hoffmann-Gill
Makes me feel guilty as I am a loud music lover.
Jul 7, 2007 at 10:12 am rating: +1
#9
Nattie
Can we not just enjoy a note as passive agressive without having to analyse it thoroughly to ensure that it is indeed, a genuinely “passive-agressive” note. It might be a set up, it might not. I don’t really care personally, I find it entertaining either way.
Also, please leave my cocoa pops alone. They’re mine, douche bags.
Jul 7, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 0
#10
nocturnal person
Hey, listen, I’m as nocturnal as they come - I usually sleep between 6am and noon. This means I’m up all night for hours trying to get work done. And I’ve never had a complaint from my downstairs neighbors. I make sure my apartment has lots of thick rugs for me to walk on, and I’m in bare feet or slippers on the un-rugged parts. After midnight, I turn my tv/stereo WAY WAY down. I make sure all my loud work (vacuuming, moving stuff around) is done at a reasonable hour. Just because I’m nocturnal doesn’t mean everyone else should have to be, and really, it’s not that difficult to show some consideration for my neighbors.
Jul 7, 2007 at 11:09 am rating: +3
#11
John T
Isn’t that the most unconvincing fake crumpled paper background? And besides, why would someone crumple up the “note” only to later rescue it from the trash and photograph it? But regardless of its authenticity, don’t you think the writer gets points for turning nearly every sentence into a passive-aggressive rhetorical question?
Jul 7, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: +1
#12
Cat Skyfire
My old apartment, I was at the bottom of a 3 tall place. I had the basketball players (At least, I’m guessing that it was a ball they were thumping around) and such, but most of it I could cope with.
What tended to drive me nuts was the bass-thumping music. NOTHING can stop that. Feeling my stuff shake to the beat was aggravating. It was really bad when I realized that the upstairs apartment was empty, and it was the apartment above that making the noise.
I did do a few notes, I admit. I tried to be quiet, myself. I could even excuse noise that lasted up to a half hour. (We all sometimes don’t realize how loud we are.) But when I could identify the lyrics…
I remember actually working up the guts to knock one night, and they wouldn’t even answer the door.
Jul 7, 2007 at 11:49 am rating: 0
#13
Writer, Rejected
I think this note is real. Dude seems desperate enough. My brother-in-law lived in NYC and had to write a charming, non-intrusive note to the lesbians overhead who at first had loud sex and loud dogs. He politely requested that they put some rugs down. Imagine having to ask people to keep their orgasms down? Urban living can be brutal.
Jul 7, 2007 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#14
.................................................
The note looks fake.
How come nobody objects to him writing “retarded kid”?
Jul 7, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: +1
#15
ffffff
aboutthe and hesupposed are two words. just like can not. This CAN NOT be tolerated! Can people be so stupid? I can not believe how stupid people are.
If you can not use grammar correctly, you can not succeed in life. I can not believe how dumb people are.
sarcasm you stupid fucks
Jul 7, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#16
eh
team note-leavers.
Jul 7, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#17
jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!
thts sum good passive-agressiveness there, especially with the whole “we can work on this together”
Jul 7, 2007 at 2:10 pm rating: 0
#18
Beppo
“…why would someone crumple up the “note†only to later rescue it from the trash and photograph it? ”
You’ve never gotten an irritating passive-aggressive note, crumpled it up in a rage, and then smoothed it back out to read in a more calm state?
Jul 7, 2007 at 2:22 pm rating: 0
#19
Gwen
Sounds like my old apartment. The person upstairs would pace, for hours starting around 2 am in what sounded like heels. They were also the only apartment with hardwood.
Finally one night my neighbour had enough and leaned out his window, shouting “Take off your fucking shoes or sit the fuck down!”
I burst out laughing and I could hear my other neighbour cracking up. The person upstairs didn’t respond, but the pacing stopped.
Jul 7, 2007 at 3:00 pm rating: +2
#20
George
If that first one is passive aggressive, I’d love to see the non-passive aggressive version of a “please keep your noise down” communication. I would guess from that one that it’s the editor’s opinion that all “please keep your noise down” communication is passive aggressive?
Jul 7, 2007 at 5:07 pm rating: 0
#21
ginger
does no one else find his comments on the “retarded” kid offensive ? man alive, have some compassion.
Jul 7, 2007 at 6:01 pm rating: 0
#22
T
These notes remind me of this:
http://www.ironicsans.com/2007/01/the_astoria_notes.html
Jul 7, 2007 at 8:13 pm rating: 0
#23
BoggyWoggy
T-
What a great website reference! I had a great time reading all of the funky notes!
Nattie,
Part of what makes this site cool is that 99% of what is published is authentic. I hate fakes, don’t you? Remember the guy awhile back who wrote a note on his fridge for his roommates, then photographed it himself and submitted it? That’s just weird.
Jul 7, 2007 at 9:08 pm rating: 0
#24
Strepsi
@George - Agreed. All keep-the-noise-down notes are passive-aggressive, more so because they can not affect the noise at the time! A 2 second door-knock, looking as disheveled, semi-nude, and annoyed as possible, often does the trick. Or if it’s unbearable, go aggressive-aggressive — I have called the cops because there are noise laws.
But a note? He should pass it on to the retarded kid’s parents.
Jul 8, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 0
#25
Alycia
I work nights and sleep during the day. I’m often woken up by the bass music playing from the floor below me. My bed vibrates to the music and it drives me insane. The people above walk around, vacuum and drop barbells at all hours of the morning. While I don’t have the balls to go to either door and complain, I have given a good hearty pounding to both the ceiling and floor on numerous occasions.
However, my sister left a charming P/A (maybe it was more of A/A) note to the people above because their windchimes would keep her awake all night. It simply said, “take down the fucking windchimes, you’re driving everyone crazy.” LOL. They were taken down the next day.
Really though, the only time you can call the cops is for parties…they’ll laugh at ya if you simply complain about someone schlumping around in shoes loudly.
Jul 8, 2007 at 2:28 am rating: 0
#26
ALA
ffffff : Do we have to go through this on EVERY post? “Cannot” is how the word is listed in the dictionary. In point of fact, dictionary.com does not even list “can not” as an alternative spelling. The nice folks at Oxford Dictionaries (askoxford.com) say “can not” is Ok, but they posted this:
“Both cannot and can not are acceptable spellings, but the first is much more usual. You would use can not when the ‘not’ forms part of another construction such as ‘not only’”
So, prior to posting corrections to other people’s grammer, could you please make sure you are correct?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And, yes, Ginger I agree that ‘retarded kid’ is offensive.
Jul 8, 2007 at 5:22 am rating: 0
#27
ALA
Oops - typo…grammar! Perhaps I should take my own advice.
Jul 8, 2007 at 5:23 am rating: 0
#28
Kristin
Yes, and I don’t get why they are asking whether or not the “retarded kid” is supposed to live there. Can mentally challenged people not live in apartment buildings? That comment makes no sense. I mean, I assume he is living with his family in the apartment building and not by himself, so yes, he is supposed to live there, note- writing asshole. And I’m also sure his parents are aware of the screaming and try and help him. Ughh. Some people have no compassion.
Jul 8, 2007 at 7:45 am rating: 0
#29
Loving Annie
Bad neighbors are miserable to live with. Whenever possible, I’d say move rather than tear your hair out. Usually rude people get pleasure out of making others suffer and couldn’t care less.
Jul 8, 2007 at 7:49 am rating: 0
#30
Joanna
I can understand that living in an apartment building can sort of put you in a “sometimes you have to suck it up” situation, but whenever the clock strikes 11:00pm, and our neighbors have had their music blasting, there have been many times where I have knocked and asked them to turn it down. When they don’t answer the door (which is always the case… since, ya know, the tunes are too loud), I just go downstairs and find the security guard and have him go ask them to turn the music down.
I think the building is supposed to be a “24-hour courtesy hours” kinda deal, but that isn’t exactly posted anywhere. And hey, if you gotta get up in the morning, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Jul 8, 2007 at 11:01 am rating: 0
#31
Vampira
Those Astoria notes are awesome. Thanks for the link.
Jul 8, 2007 at 11:35 am rating: 0
#32
FXS mom
I think any time the word “retarded” is used…it’s personal.
Jul 8, 2007 at 2:06 pm rating: 0
#33
Trickster
My building has rules, between 11pm and 6am, shut the fuck up. I had a downstairs neighbour for a while that for some reason thought that playing the drums at 3:30am was a good idea. How anyone can think that playing the drums in an apartment is a good idea I do not know, but I took out my seriously aggressive pink bathrobe and went down there and asked him to shut it
Me: Hi, I am your upstairs neighbour, could you please just NOT play the drums in the middle of the night?
Annoying-Drum-Man: What? You can hear me?
Me: and you made it to adulthood how?
ADM: huh?
Me: YES, so stop!
and he did.
Jul 8, 2007 at 8:42 pm rating: 0
#34
Dixie
I half wonder if the writer/recipient of the first note has any relation to the parties who did this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=h2q_tbUHrZk
Jul 8, 2007 at 8:47 pm rating: 0
#35
Jussi
Dixie,
That’s just plain evil. It may look funny, but 6 months ago I broke my arm like that (on an icy street) and I needed an operation and two months of physiotherapy to get it back to normal. Very uncool.
Jul 8, 2007 at 9:22 pm rating: 0
#36
Simster
In Australia can not is the common usage, in America and England it is cannot. I don’t know what it is in other English speaking countries, perhaps someone from New Zealand would like to let us know what they use there.
I know that grammatical errors can be irritating, but really, as long as we know what the person is trying to say is it really worth getting all pissy about?
Jul 8, 2007 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
#37
Lovecarrots
Actually in England it’s usually can’t, cannot for emphasis and if you really, really want to MAKE YOUR POINT it’s CAN NOT.
Cheers
Mr LC
Jul 9, 2007 at 2:22 am rating: 0
#38
Collaroy
Okay, I realize how irritating it is to live in a building where you hear everything. However, it definitely works best if you just ask the person living next door / above / below to keep it down (in a normal, civil tone) . Worked with my neighbors, they simply weren’t aware that I could hear every step when they were wearing shoes. No need to get all worked up and write such a note.
Jul 9, 2007 at 2:49 am rating: 0
#39
Tarn
Part of the problem is the fashion for wood floors. Unless rugs are put down, downstairs neighbours can hear every footstep. Also, lack of carpet means other sounds aren’t muffled. Basically a fully wood-floored apartment is a boombox! Some blocks specify in the leases that apartments must be carpeted or have rugs.
I wish mine did - the guy upstairs threw out his carpets years ago and never replaced them. …
Jul 9, 2007 at 4:57 am rating: 0
#40
Dixie
Jussi,
Ouch! I’m sorry that happened - I grew up in Northern Minnesota so I know the dangers of ice. I didn’t mean to imply that the video I posted was “cool” by any means, I am not a proponent of pranks that could hurt someone. I just thought the story line of the note and the text in the video seemed similar, albeit the video showed a much more aggressive than passive method. Glad your arm is on the mend, and hopefully back to normal!
Jul 9, 2007 at 6:26 am rating: 0
#41
The Fresh Cracker
I just like how the note is peppered with questions.
I count thirteen [fourteen if you count "Nothing personal, OK?"]
Excessive?
Jul 9, 2007 at 6:29 am rating: 0
#42
Goldie
Notes, shmotes, if it’s in violation of the noise rules, just call the police. If not, then I guess tough luck.
Back in my apartment days, I had upstairs neighbors who were into playing rap music at 3AM directly over my toddler’s bedroom. I talked to them, it didn’t work. I talked to the apartment manager, she said she could not control that particular family (WTF?!) and to call the police next time I heard music at night. So I did. The music stopped for a few months. By the time they started with it again, we were already packed and ready to move out… into a townhome with no neighbors above or below us.
Jul 9, 2007 at 7:16 am rating: 0
#43
Tarn
yeah, apartment living comes with a lot of annoyances! And when I say ‘annoyances’, I mean ‘fucking inconsiderate neighbours’, of course.
I’ve gone & knocked on doors a few times - it takes me a while to get up the courage, so these occasions were after several nights of disturbance - and not once has it worked. So far my tally is
1) old lady downstairs with INCREDIBLY LOUD TV. She turned it down for all of five minutes & has ignored all subsequent pleas for quiet.
2) Hooker who came home in the small hours screaming down her phone & slamming doors. A lot. She wouldn’t even open the door, told me to fuck off to work & leave her alone. (It was 5am on a Saturday..)
3) Bunch of young Indian guys ‘clearing’ the flat upstairs for the sick owner. They were absent most of the day, usually came home mob-handed after midnight and used the bedroom above mine as a social club/bar/etc. These guys really didn’t understand why their ‘normal talking’ was a problem for me at 2 am on a work night, and refused to speak to me after I ’swore’ when asking them to keep it down for the third night in a row. (I said bloody - apparently they weren’t used to women talking to them like that….) Anyway, they just carried on being loud.
I’m in the UK and the police here won’t deal with noise complaints. Also, we tend not to have live-in managers, ’supers’, janitors or whatever in apartment blocks. More’s the pity….
Jul 9, 2007 at 7:58 am rating: 0
#44
Anna-banana
I’d rather have the noise.
Our apartment neighbor, who lives alone in her two bedroom apt. is VERY considerate & shares her second-hand smoke with all of us, by puffing out on her balcony day & night!
-At least you won’t get lung cancer from the noise pollution!!!!
Jul 9, 2007 at 10:02 am rating: 0
#45
Tarn
I’d rather have neither!
I’ve had smoking neighbours, and it’s horrible when their smoke gets into the stairwell and my flat. I’m very glad that the new smoking law in England (if I’ve read it correctly) bans smoking in communal residential areas like stairwells. Take that, inconsiderate smoke-monkeys!
But sleep deprivation from noise is also bad for me. And for those around me, since it makes me VERY cranky. I may not get lung cancer, but if my neighbour doesn’t start turning her bloody telly down after midnight soon, a few years in the chokey for manslaughter is a possibility…
Jul 9, 2007 at 10:16 am rating: 0
#46
Goldie
Tarn, I have a proven technique for your old lady. My parents had the exact same problem. Their old lady downstairs would turn the TV on full blast and fall asleep, leaving them with the TV blaring all night long. After months of talking to her, begging, pleading and, yes, leaving notes, my Dad finally got fed up, grabbed a chair (the kind with metal legs…) and hit the floor with it. She turned the TV down instantly and was really quiet for the next few months. Kinda risky but works!
Jul 9, 2007 at 11:40 am rating: 0
#47
bethany
I have loud neighbors that annoy me, but the excruciating length of this note is just enough to put me on team upstairs.
Jul 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#48
Tarn
Thanks Goldie, that might just work! She is kind of a bully - tends to do what suits her around the place, whether others are affected or not. With bullies, sometimes getting a bit aggressive is the only way.
Bethany - yeah, I know what you mean. Surely a simple ‘Please stop stomping around after midnight. Thanks - your downstairs neighbour’ would have sufficed. The rant is definitely OTT. And the part about the ‘retarded kid’ sticks in my craw.
Jul 10, 2007 at 3:26 am rating: 0
#49
katherine
The nieghbor above me at my old apartment was a bartender and used to come home around 3 or so and play the “Pretty fly for a white boy” song REALLY LOUD. It was kind of nightmareesque, but after listening to the song, he’d usually quiet down, so I never said anything… Until I went to a bar one night and he was working there and I blurted out “Oh yeah, you’re the pretty fly for a white boy guy” and everyone around us laughed. I don’t think he ever listened to it again.
And speaking of the retarded kid, housing discrimination against the disabled is prohibited by federal law, and is just plain wrong, so yeah, he has a right to be there.
Jul 10, 2007 at 7:03 pm rating: 0
#50
Bryce
I’m glad that my grandmother has the courage/intellegence/whatever to realise that she is no longer able enough to drive a car and her hearing is so poor that she should just use closed captioning instead of blasting the TV.
Jul 11, 2007 at 1:21 pm rating: 0
#51
pix
been on both sides of the coin: got new computer speakers and didn’t realize how loud they were. She called the cops on me ~12:30am and they actually came over! I went over the next day to say “hey, here is my phone number, call me any time, I’m so sorry, I had no idea” and she basically slammed the door in my face. Moved the desk to another (unshared) wall.
Neighbors UPstairs are horribly loud (wrestlers? Often extremely loud thumps-are they coming through the floor! I hear their drunken laughing and loud sex too). It used to sound like they were bowling until I realized it was their two cats chasing each other.
Jul 19, 2007 at 1:11 pm rating: 0
#52
pix
another one: neighbor downstairs used to turn on the alarm clock and not come home at night. I’d wake up around 5am and it would go off for hours…I wondered if he had died in the night. I would go down to the basement and flip off the circuit breaker to his whole apartme