explains an anony-dad in st. louis: “i asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. i guess it offended her.”
an awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?
related: happy to be of service
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
217 responses so far ↓
#1 283 Emma
Wow… so I guess she has issues with day care…
I wonder how long it took her to type that out?
Jul 15, 2007 at 10:21 pm rating: 0
#2 Anon
I’m on team CHILDERN. After all this is about THERE welfare. Good grief. I would send them to day care if my babysitter didn’t know how to spell or use lower case letters either.
Jul 15, 2007 at 10:28 pm rating: +3
#3 Anon2
Actually I’m on team babysitter. I think it is a bit much that he ask for all these details on paper when he can just ask her.
Jul 15, 2007 at 10:35 pm rating: 0
#4 Tara
I’m with Team Babysitter. Seriously, fill out a *form*? What happened to verbally communicating with the parent when they came to pick up the kids? She may be uneducated (or sound that way), but she’s right: it’s stupid to ask her to take time away from caring for the kids to fill out unnecessary paperwork.
Jul 15, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: +2
#5 Team Babysitter
Modern parents are such arrogant jagoffs. Hint, anony-dad: When you provide benefits and sick time and paid vacation, THEN you get to ask “the help” to “fill out a short form.” Also, go fuck yourself.
Jul 15, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#6 anon
I’m on team babysitter as well. But if you want yourself to be taken seriously you should definitely hit spellcheck before you hit print. Otherwise you are not only bitchy, you are stupid.
Jul 15, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 0
#7 underindecision
‘m on team “If you have a problem, perhaps we can discuss this like adults.”
Jul 15, 2007 at 11:19 pm rating: +1
#8 KW
Team parents. At least for now. The babysitter sounds kind of obnoxious. If she were so concerned couldn’t she have said this to his face politely when he asked about the form instead of writing a bitchy little (well, not-so-little) note?
The parents just seem overanxious, which is excusable if you’ve never dealt with these baby things before. (Dude, they don’t even come with a warranty. You have to be careful not to break them.) If anony-dad reads this site instead of spending all night on expense reports or pooh-poohing blogs, he can’t be too much of a stick-up-the-ass sort, and so I’m going to go with anxious rather than demanding. Besides, how hard is it to scrawl in a few important details about what happened during the day that you might forget to mention later?
Jul 15, 2007 at 11:19 pm rating: 0
#9 Daniela
Definitely on team babysitter. Damn, how difficult is it to have a brief chat with your babysitter at the end of the day? Although, I have to say that I don’t think a note of that length was necessary. Mine would have read:
Am babysitter, not secretary. Suck it.
Jul 15, 2007 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
#10 Simster
I sympathise with the babysitter, written reports are time consuming and no substitute for the sitter just telling you if there are any isses. Does this dad not have the time/ opportunity to ask about issues when he collects the children?
On the other hand, it seems that verbal communication is problem if she has written this in response - could she not just tell dad in person that it would be a bit time consuming and she would prefer not?
Jul 15, 2007 at 11:23 pm rating: 0
#11 M@
WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN, OH GOD, WHO’S THINKING OF THE CHILDREN???
Jul 16, 2007 at 12:24 am rating: 0
#12 Winnie
Why not leave the kid with a Bat Phone that connects to daddy so the kid can tell daddy himself?
I know a better thing. Why not teach the kid how to use facebook, then he can poke daddy all day.
Jul 16, 2007 at 12:25 am rating: +2
#13 Not Anon
Anon // Jul 15, 2007 at 10:28 pm
“I’m on team CHILDERN. After all this is about THERE welfare. Good grief. I would send them to day care if my babysitter didn’t know how to spell or use lower case letters either.”
Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot.
Jul 16, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#14 LC.
To the post above: hope you’re being silly since it is pretty obvious Anon purposely misspelled THERE like it was in the letter from the babysitter. If you knew that then, ok, sarcasm doesn’t transfer well in print. Just sayin’…
Anyhoo, I’m Team Babysitter. Daddy needs to learn people skills. He probably makes his lawn guy fill out paper work detailing the progress of the hedges. Phttt.
Jul 16, 2007 at 12:51 am rating: +1
#15 Daniela
Teehee, poor Not Anon.
Jul 16, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 0
#16 mothmanbr
Team parents. They are paying her to watch the kids, they can make as many unreasonable and stupid demands they want and if the babysitter is not happy with this, she can just quit instead of writing a huge bitchy note. I agree that the parent should just talk to the babysitter instead, but still, it’s their house, their kids, their money. And I’m sure this is for the best, I wouldn’t trust my kids to someone who thinks “CHILDERN” is spelled right.
Jul 16, 2007 at 1:23 am rating: 0
#17 Nonna
What is all this ‘Team’ bullcrap? EVERYONE sucks when it comes to these notes, the people who write them are lame and the people who send them in are jerks — and I laugh my ass off at all of them.
Anyway, great site. (TEAM LAME JERKS OMG!)
Jul 16, 2007 at 2:01 am rating: 0
#18 Maria
Although it is obnoxious that the babysitter did this via a letter, the parents already initiated the non-verbal communication cycle by making her fill out a form every day. What are they doing, plotting data about the kid’s daily eating time? I’m with the babysitter all the way– those parents need to chill and just pask her those questions face to face when they pick up the child.
Jul 16, 2007 at 2:30 am rating: 0
#19 George
“Team babysitter”, lol. Asking for notes is the same thing as this website is about in the first place - a failure of verbal communication and the need to resort to written communication to do what should be done verbally.
Jul 16, 2007 at 3:39 am rating: 0
#20 Josh
It appears that the parents drop the kids off at the babysitter’s house.
“Pack up their stuff and you can pick it up over the weekend”
1. They pay her babysitter prices for day-care responsibilities.
2. They leave the kid’s toys and other things at this babysitter’s house!
3. How old are these kids? Maybe they are too young to verbalize. If not, anony-dad has communications issues not only with his babysitter, but with his children as well.
All points in, the babysitter has the right to not do paperwork. She just should have talked to the parents instead of the lengthy paperwork, which I find highly amusing, given the circumstances.
Jul 16, 2007 at 4:24 am rating: +1
#21 Jeff
Wow, never thought I’d sympathize with the sender of one of these notes rather than the recipient. Though I hate all-caps and bad spelling, there’s something really lousy about asking your babysitter to fill out a form EVERY SINGLE DAY telling you the last time junior took a dump.
Who else thinks Daddy here is an attorney who wants written confirmation of babysitter’s actions so that he can sue her if junior gets sick?
Jul 16, 2007 at 4:35 am rating: +1
#22 Elphaba
Hmm. I’m going to have to hold out on joining a team. I’d personally like to see what kind of paper work was being requested…..
I am, however, leaning to team parents. Maybe she wasnt that great of a communicator before and this was their last ditch effort before finding a new sitter?
Jul 16, 2007 at 4:53 am rating: 0
#23 Mary
Team Babysitter, probably. I could see writing things down if the kid was on meds and the parents had to know the last dose, or if the kid was sick and you wanted to keep track of fluid/food intake and symptoms. But to make a person (who is obviously watching other kids besides “Mr. Yuppie’s”) do pointless paperwork is just a control measure. The parent is saying, “I don’t trust you. Also, I’m better than you. Report to me as if you are subservient.”
If the “parent of the year” is so worried about their kid, then maybe they should have done more research to find a trustworthy sitter. Also, it cracks me up how parents want to have daycare “on the cheap” then can’t believe it when their kids don’t get the red-carpet care they believe the kid is entitled to. Cheap daycare equals more kids being cared for by the day care person.
If she failed to tell mom and dad about an incident, then I can understand the request. But I still think the sitter has a right to tell the parents to fuck off.
Jul 16, 2007 at 5:02 am rating: +1
#24 Iszi
I’m kinda on both sides here, but mostly for the parents.
Yeah, the parents *should* be talking to the babysitter to get the information that would otherwise be on this “form”, but I’m sure there’s often times where in the general course of events that it’s too easy to forget to have those discussions. Or, if such discussion is had, perhaps the parents often forget to ask certain questions. Or maybe even the babysitter might forget to provide certain information. Even outside of that event, information that *was* exchanged might easily be forgotten later. (My wife can tell you, my memory doesn’t really kick into gear until about 15 minutes after I’ve walked through the door.)
So, while I do agree that the things anony-dad is asking for in paper should be handled in face-to-face discussion, I also see where having the information on a nice little form can be a good fail-safe to make sure that:
1.) Parents don’t need to worry about forgetting to ask certain questions.
2.) Babysitter doesn’t need to worry about forgetting to communicate certain (routine) details.
3.) Neither party has to worry about the parents forgetting any of the details that were communicated, since they’re now on paper.
Further, if a babysitter of my child left me a note like that regarding *any* reasonable request made of her, I’d be finding another one rather quickly - whether they would agree to the issue or not.
All in all, this is a good example of why I try to let my wife be a stay-at-home mom, and only trust family or close friends for when we do need a babysitter.
Jul 16, 2007 at 5:35 am rating: 0
#25 Erin
Team Babysitter. And I agree that her choice to put this in note form is her parodying his request to communicate in note form. And she does have a point, he wants day care service at babysitter prices. As Josh points out, the kids are staying at HER place. He is already getting close to day care-type service but yet he wants even more.
Jul 16, 2007 at 5:37 am rating: 0
#26 Kelly
Anony-dad is an arsehole. Though it would have been better if the babysitter had actually spoken to him and said a big fat NO about the paperwork, I entirely agree with the sentiment. Paperwork from your babysitter or childminder? WOT A NOB.
Jul 16, 2007 at 5:41 am rating: 0
#27 GhostWhriter
I am so much on Team Anony-Dad, I’m getting a tattoo.
Plenty have asked, “Why would a parent ask for a note?” I’ll bet it’s because the kids have come home starving, or immediately hurled in the car after they left the babysitter’s house, and Anony-Dad is just looking for some accountability on the babysitter’s part. Apparently the babysitter’s silent data-free hand-off at 5:00 isn’t working.
Why beat down the sitter? Because she acts guilty- her response to the note request is, “I will not write you lies just to make you happy!” Huh?!? Nobody’s asking you to write lies- but can you at least tell me when you last fed my kid? Whether he slept? Hey, where’d this bruise come from??
Nobody asks for a note like that unless the data-dump or the activities aren’t being perfomed. Either way, it is time to get a new babysitter.
Jul 16, 2007 at 5:55 am rating: 0
#28 Aline
Team babysitter, allllll the way.
I love the sweet irony that the note represents: the dad wanted things written down, instead of simply exchanged verbally… so instead of talking to him, she wrote her complaint in a note… in which she expresses that she’s anti-note. It’s awesome and brilliant. The dad was obviously unapproachable enough that he didn’t even know if his kid had ate or slept that day, and would therefore be unreachable by the babysitter to discuss the paperwork.
PS: Lay off her grammar and spelling. If they wanted a Harvard grad to babysit their kids, they could pay one to do it. Sadly, they are probably underpaying a lesser-educated person, or someone who has moved here from another country and speaks another language. Give her a fair wage and she’ll do your “paperwork”
Jul 16, 2007 at 6:04 am rating: +1
#29 AM
Good god, people. No one knows why the father made this request. Maybe they’re trying to get health issues diagnosed or eliminated as potential causes of disease, etc. It’s assinine for the baby-sitter to not ask more questions that could affect how she cares for the child and run off a non-verbal rant. And there is still privacy in this world, in theory; the parents don’t need to explain every little thing to their outside support. I wouldn’t take my kids back to someone who clearly is flying off the handle.
While verbal discussions are better, I don’t see this as an unreasonable request.
Jul 16, 2007 at 6:26 am rating: 0
#30 Nattie
Team Anony-dad for me!
As far as I’m concerned, she’s being paid to do what they ask her to, and if she doesn’t like it, she should quit, simple as that.
Jul 16, 2007 at 6:28 am rating: 0
#31 whOOt
I love how everyone says the paperwork is unreasonable, when no one here knows, what the form even looks like.
Jul 16, 2007 at 6:34 am rating: 0
#32 Goldie
Team babysitter. The request for her to document her every move indicates some trust issues. Find a babysitter you can trust, or at the very least (sarcasm on) save the poor woman’s time and install a freakin camera (sarcasm off). Plus, as she said, she can write pretty much anything she wants on this form, so what’s the point?
Of course I shouldn’t be talking - my Mom watched my kids when they weren’t in daycare, and she left me ten-page notes with detailed descriptions of what the kids did, ate, said etc… whether I asked for it or not. She actually still does it even though the kids are about to start 6th and 9th grade and do not, in fact, require babysitting, let alone notes on what happened to them on her watch. It’s kinda cute.
Jul 16, 2007 at 6:40 am rating: 0
#33 Cat Skyfire
This is probably something that should’ve been done in person. But, I am definitely anti-babysitter for the use of all caps.
Jul 16, 2007 at 6:50 am rating: 0
#34 goldfish
I’m a full-time babysitter with a college education (in the middle of emigrating, so I have to work off the books).
I’d definitely roll my eyes at being asked to do this, but I’d agree to filling out a short form. My guess is that the father picks the kids up from sitting but neglects to ask how their day went, and his wife finally asked him to get basic info down on paper.
And as for the babysitter’s snotty note — I wouldn’t leave my kids with her again.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:02 am rating: +1
#35 emily
i hate to say it, but when you’re a babysitter, youre pretty much paid to do what the parents want. i babysit, and have had to do some pretty stupid stuff, but after all, theyre not my kids. if it means getting paid, id write a stupid note, just do it while theyre napping!
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:07 am rating: 0
#36 Vampira
Team Babysitter, though she needs to l2capslockoff.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:08 am rating: 0
#37 pry
you know, the mother probably nagged the father every day when he brought them home from the babysitter (’when did they eat?” “was sally coughing today?”). not able to supply sufficient answers, finally the dad said, “jesus, i’ll just get her to fill out a damn form everyday, will that make you happy?”
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:12 am rating: 0
#38 pry
sorry goldfish, ijust realized i repeated your sentiment less eloquently.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:13 am rating: 0
#39 Psipsina
I love the way anony-dad presents the babysitter’s entire note in all its gory and somewhat embarrassing detail, and even *corrects her grammar* on Flickr, but only gives us the briefest description of what his form, which provoked the note, looked like.
There’s not enough information here for me to declare a team affliliation. But the fact that there’s not enough information is anony-dad’s fault - is he hiding something? Maybe his “short form” is 4 pages long or something. Because the dad seems to be hiding something, I lean, very slightly, toward the babysitter’s side.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:21 am rating: +1
#40 TN
I’m all with the babysitter here. I think it is unreasonable to ask her to fill out a form everyday for babysitting services. However, if a child is sick and running a fever, has diarreah and meds were given, or if a child took a bad fall, then of course the sitter should take it upon herself to log that information. It’s just good practice and also covers her ass. If the day goes smoothly then I don’t think it’s necessary to fill out paperwork each and every day and if that’s what the parents want then the sitter should get a raise.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:22 am rating: 0
#41 Writer, Rejected
Do you think anony-dad brought the kids back and smoothed it over? Like, “Oopsy, I was just thinking if you had a couple of extra minutes while Junior is taking a dump, you could jot a few things down, but I see I have crossed some serious class divide. My bad.” Or maybe he’d be afraid to go back there, which would kind of make him a putz, since there’s a major power thing going on between himself and the babysitter. I think sometimes the powerless babysitters of the world *have* to resort to writing notes like this to even the playing field. In this case, I’m kind of with the fierce, don’t-fuck-with-me-rich-man babysitter. Team B-S, for me.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:23 am rating: +1
#42 MissPinkKate
Team Babysitter. A form? Fuck that.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:25 am rating: 0
#43 Hannah
I can’t believe how many Team Babysitters there are! I work a full-time job and I babysit on the weekends for a wonderful family, and I think writing down what the day was like is a great idea. There are plenty of things I want to tell them (both important and maybe just cute or silly) at the end of the day but usually it’s around 11 p.m and we all want to get to bed. I think the babysitters hissy fit was absurd, and if she really has a problem with it she should just TALK to the dad. I’m guessing a lot of Team Babysitters are really bad babysitters.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:32 am rating: 0
#44 luckymommy
that babysitter is a just a lazy bitch, simple as that. How hard is it and how long does it take to jot some shit down about these babies/kids everyday. Please, give me a break. All of that because the man wants to keep up with as much as he can about his kids? This is what responsible, hands on parents do and responsible sitters happily comply because they totally understand. Why? Because it’s important and necessary for comprehensive parenting, that’s why. That bitch is just lazy, and if she’s got a problem with someone telling her what to do then she doesn’t need to look after anybody’s kids.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:34 am rating: 0
#45 Heather
Team Babysitter. If the dad wants a summary of the day in writing, he should hire a transcriptionist.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:36 am rating: 0
#46 MissMissy
I, for one, want to see the form that Babysitter was asked to fill out.
C’mon, it could be a follow up story…
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:37 am rating: 0
#47 e
This babysitter seems to have some serious issues with daycares…and requests from parents. Just from the tone of the note - I wouldn’t take my kids to her again.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:39 am rating: 0
#48 Anony-Dad
After I got the kids home and read the note (she handed it to me along with ‘the forms’ in an envelope when I picked up the kids), I called her and we sorted this all out in a non-passive-aggressive way. The kids went back on Monday and all’s well that ends well.
In her note, she’s really overstating the complexity of what I was asking her to do. It wasn’t a five-page minute-by-minute accounting of how the kids spent their day; it’s just a short summary. She watches our three-year old boy and our one-year old girl. The ‘form’ basically asks:
When did (One Year Old’s Name) last eat?
Did they behave?
Anything else I need to know?
I need to know when the little one last ate so I know when to feed her when I get home. I need to know whether they behaved because the older one is a typical 3-year-old who likes to test his limits. And the ‘anything else’ is just that — if they were constipated, or lethargic, or got bit by a rattlesnake, etc.
For the first few weeks they were with this sitter, I asked the questions when I picked them up, but we thought it would be more efficient if she’d just write the answers before I got there.
So now you know… the rest of the story.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:44 am rating: +1
#49 Hannah
Anony-Dad,
I figured as much. Completely reasonable, but I would NOT have taken my kids back to her. She sounds like a nutcase who could turn at the flip of a switch.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:52 am rating: 0
#50 bethany
people keep saying that if the babysitter doesn’t like it, she can quit. I read this note as DOING that - she says they can find someone else if they want the form filled out. Essentially - “I don’t like it, so if that’s what you want, I quit.”
That makes me lean team babysitter. However, I also read the daddy form as info not accountability. Assuming his children are small, he just wants to know how soon he should feed them and whether or not they napped (which might explain crankiness). But I agree with everyone else that my sympathy depends entirely on the length and extent of the form.
Jul 16, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 0
#51 Lovecarrots
Hmm… no obvious reason for the freaked out note, sounds like transference. This is a scapegoat issue, babysitter was enraged about something else and it all bubbled up over this tiny issue…
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:08 am rating: 0
#52 Lovecarrots
How many times could I say “issue” there? Not enough. You get my drift though, I’m sure.
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:08 am rating: 0
#53 Writer, Rejected
I still say it’s a class thing, for which there needs to be more sensitivity. Sounds like Anony-Dad handled it well. But still and all, the BS put him in his place, which spells p.o.w.e.r. That’s why I’m on her team. Clearly she is good at what she does and is not going to divulge any such eating-schedule, rattle-snake, constipation information unless she absolutely has to!
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:12 am rating: 0
#54 Crysilla
Team Dad! That hot headed bitch is psycho. I just took a six week health and wellness course. The first day of the class we were told to record our eating and sleeping patterns.
The parents seem like smart, educated people to me. If Psycho-Crazy-Killer Babysitter doesn’t want to fill out paperwork then she’s too busy to watch those kids.
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:18 am rating: 0
#55 john
I go with team babysitter
I also support team read the frigging notes before commenting. She’s taking care of multiple kids at her house, not the kids of 1 family at the famlies house.
In response to “She should just quit”: she should just quit what? Quit babysitting at her own house for multiple families because this one Dad needs a notarized daily log of his kids actions? In the note she said that she wouldn’t fill out the log, and that the father should find a new day care provider.
TEAM READ THE FRIGGING NOTES FIRST
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#56 dregina
Team Babysitter!
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#57 Jess
Whats so hard about filling out a short form for documentation? The woman is being unreasonable as it would probably take a whole 3 MINUTES to fill out the damn form. “Taking time away from the kids” my butt, lazy is more like it. This woman is obviously very uneducated from the looks of this note, so I’m not sure why they would want her to watch their kids in the first place.
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:39 am rating: 0
#58 Mary
I just hope this babysitter isn’t helping the children with their English homework!
Jul 16, 2007 at 8:54 am rating: 0
#59 Starks
I support the dad all the way here. Responsible parents should know what is going on in their kids’ daily lives. Ideally, of course, the kids would remain with a parent during the day, but if that is not possible for this family, because they both need to work or whatever, then I admire the parents for having the foresight to ask for this information.
The request is not ridiculous, but her response is. If she typed up this long letter soon enough to give it back to him when he picked his kids up, who was watching the kids while she typed? She says her reason for not filling out the paperwork is because it takes away from her ability to spend time with the “childern,” but I’m sure it took her far longer to type this asinine letter than it would have to just answer the questions.
I agree that anyone who thinks the babysitter’s over-reaction is justified probably shouldn’t be a babysitter, and that anony-dad should definitely find a new sitter.
Jul 16, 2007 at 9:01 am rating: 0
#60 stephanie
TO THE DAD:
I have two kids. I have one husband. I also have one babysitter. I think I know what went wrong with your babysitter. It appears you didn’t let her know why you wanted the info.
And this is a problem all MEN make. Any question, suggestion, or seemingly innocent comment can be fodder for HOURS of female interpretation. Even if it is something simple as, “HOW WAS YOUR DAY WITH THE KIDS?”
So–if the baby sitter is an excellent caretaker, if she loves the kids and the kids love her–talk to her, tell her you are sorry. Tell her how much the kids love her, what a great babysitter she is. Tell her how important she is to both your kids and you and your signficant other. Then tell her what your intentions were!
Then for God sakes, get that girl a spa treatment or a massage appointment. She definitely needs to relax!
Stephanie
Jul 16, 2007 at 9:05 am rating: 0
#61 Andrew
It seems that a lot of people are against having a log of their children’s activity at the babysitter. I don’t see what’s so unreasonable about asking your sitter to fill something out (our babysitter fills out a log book). It’s certainly not so that we can sue her at a later date - it’s so that we can record general things like “is baby constipated?” and “are her eating habits changing?”
I have to say that I’m on “Team Parents” here. Keeping a log of your child’s activity is a great idea, and I don’t think the sitter should necessarily mind. Also, if the sitter *does* mind, a simple “I prefer not do this sort of paperwork” would suffice.
And for anyone who thinks that keeping a children’s log is overkill, don’t keep one. Don’t harp on other people who want to be able to check things out. the idea that verbal communication is good enough for your kids irks me - I get things in writing for the much less important things that I do all day long (ie - my job). Why shouldn’t I get things in writing for the things that are worth more to me in the world than anything else?
Jul 16, 2007 at 9:18 am rating: 0