This is all about the childern.

July 15th, 2007 · 223 comments

Explains an anony-dad in St. Louis: “I asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened with the kids during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. I guess it offended her.”

all about the childernand there care (2 of 2)

An awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?

related: Happy to be of service

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · St. Louis · thanks (but not really)


223 responses so far ↓

  • #1   283 Emma

    Wow… so I guess she has issues with day care…
    I wonder how long it took her to type that out?

    Jul 15, 2007 at 10:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Anon

    I’m on team CHILDERN. After all this is about THERE welfare. Good grief. I would send them to day care if my babysitter didn’t know how to spell or use lower case letters either.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 10:28 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Dude.

      While I agree with your sentiment, mocking spelling and punctuation can be risky, particularly if you use a ‘there’ instead of a ‘their’.

      Jan 16, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   tmh

      Dude.,

      Did you read the letter? The babysitter used ‘there’ instead of ‘their’. Anon mocked correctly.

      Jan 16, 2009 at 6:37 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Anon2

    Actually I’m on team babysitter. I think it is a bit much that he ask for all these details on paper when he can just ask her.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 10:35 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Tara

    I’m with Team Babysitter. Seriously, fill out a *form*? What happened to verbally communicating with the parent when they came to pick up the kids? She may be uneducated (or sound that way), but she’s right: it’s stupid to ask her to take time away from caring for the kids to fill out unnecessary paperwork.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 10:37 pm   rating: 95  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Team Babysitter

    Modern parents are such arrogant jagoffs. Hint, anony-dad: When you provide benefits and sick time and paid vacation, THEN you get to ask “the help” to “fill out a short form.” Also, go fuck yourself.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:02 pm   rating: 127  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   anon

    I’m on team babysitter as well. But if you want yourself to be taken seriously you should definitely hit spellcheck before you hit print. Otherwise you are not only bitchy, you are stupid.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:14 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   underindecision

    ‘m on team “If you have a problem, perhaps we can discuss this like adults.”

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:19 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   KW

    Team parents. At least for now. The babysitter sounds kind of obnoxious. If she were so concerned couldn’t she have said this to his face politely when he asked about the form instead of writing a bitchy little (well, not-so-little) note?

    The parents just seem overanxious, which is excusable if you’ve never dealt with these baby things before. (Dude, they don’t even come with a warranty. You have to be careful not to break them.) If anony-dad reads this site instead of spending all night on expense reports or pooh-poohing blogs, he can’t be too much of a stick-up-the-ass sort, and so I’m going to go with anxious rather than demanding. Besides, how hard is it to scrawl in a few important details about what happened during the day that you might forget to mention later?

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:19 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Daniela

    Definitely on team babysitter. Damn, how difficult is it to have a brief chat with your babysitter at the end of the day? Although, I have to say that I don’t think a note of that length was necessary. Mine would have read:

    Am babysitter, not secretary. Suck it.

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:20 pm   rating: 78  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Simster

    I sympathise with the babysitter, written reports are time consuming and no substitute for the sitter just telling you if there are any isses. Does this dad not have the time/ opportunity to ask about issues when he collects the children?
    On the other hand, it seems that verbal communication is problem if she has written this in response – could she not just tell dad in person that it would be a bit time consuming and she would prefer not?

    Jul 15, 2007 at 11:23 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   M@

    WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN, OH GOD, WHO’S THINKING OF THE CHILDREN???

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:24 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Suzi

      Gotta love the Maude!

      Nov 22, 2008 at 11:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Winnie

    Why not leave the kid with a Bat Phone that connects to daddy so the kid can tell daddy himself?

    I know a better thing. Why not teach the kid how to use facebook, then he can poke daddy all day.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Not Anon

    Anon // Jul 15, 2007 at 10:28 pm
    “I’m on team CHILDERN. After all this is about THERE welfare. Good grief. I would send them to day care if my babysitter didn’t know how to spell or use lower case letters either.”

    Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   LC.

    To the post above: hope you’re being silly since it is pretty obvious Anon purposely misspelled THERE like it was in the letter from the babysitter. If you knew that then, ok, sarcasm doesn’t transfer well in print. Just sayin’…

    Anyhoo, I’m Team Babysitter. Daddy needs to learn people skills. He probably makes his lawn guy fill out paper work detailing the progress of the hedges. Phttt.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:51 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Daniela

    Teehee, poor Not Anon.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 1:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   mothmanbr

    Team parents. They are paying her to watch the kids, they can make as many unreasonable and stupid demands they want and if the babysitter is not happy with this, she can just quit instead of writing a huge bitchy note. I agree that the parent should just talk to the babysitter instead, but still, it’s their house, their kids, their money. And I’m sure this is for the best, I wouldn’t trust my kids to someone who thinks “CHILDERN” is spelled right.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 1:23 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Nonna

    What is all this ‘Team’ bullcrap? EVERYONE sucks when it comes to these notes, the people who write them are lame and the people who send them in are jerks — and I laugh my ass off at all of them.

    Anyway, great site. (TEAM LAME JERKS OMG!)

    Jul 16, 2007 at 2:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Maria

    Although it is obnoxious that the babysitter did this via a letter, the parents already initiated the non-verbal communication cycle by making her fill out a form every day. What are they doing, plotting data about the kid’s daily eating time? I’m with the babysitter all the way– those parents need to chill and just pask her those questions face to face when they pick up the child.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 2:30 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   George

    “Team babysitter”, lol. Asking for notes is the same thing as this website is about in the first place – a failure of verbal communication and the need to resort to written communication to do what should be done verbally.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 3:39 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Josh

    It appears that the parents drop the kids off at the babysitter’s house.

    “Pack up their stuff and you can pick it up over the weekend”

    1. They pay her babysitter prices for day-care responsibilities.

    2. They leave the kid’s toys and other things at this babysitter’s house!

    3. How old are these kids? Maybe they are too young to verbalize. If not, anony-dad has communications issues not only with his babysitter, but with his children as well.

    All points in, the babysitter has the right to not do paperwork. She just should have talked to the parents instead of the lengthy paperwork, which I find highly amusing, given the circumstances.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 4:24 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Jeff

    Wow, never thought I’d sympathize with the sender of one of these notes rather than the recipient. Though I hate all-caps and bad spelling, there’s something really lousy about asking your babysitter to fill out a form EVERY SINGLE DAY telling you the last time junior took a dump.

    Who else thinks Daddy here is an attorney who wants written confirmation of babysitter’s actions so that he can sue her if junior gets sick?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 4:35 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Elphaba

    Hmm. I’m going to have to hold out on joining a team. I’d personally like to see what kind of paper work was being requested…..
    I am, however, leaning to team parents. Maybe she wasnt that great of a communicator before and this was their last ditch effort before finding a new sitter?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 4:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Mary

    Team Babysitter, probably. I could see writing things down if the kid was on meds and the parents had to know the last dose, or if the kid was sick and you wanted to keep track of fluid/food intake and symptoms. But to make a person (who is obviously watching other kids besides “Mr. Yuppie’s”) do pointless paperwork is just a control measure. The parent is saying, “I don’t trust you. Also, I’m better than you. Report to me as if you are subservient.”

    If the “parent of the year” is so worried about their kid, then maybe they should have done more research to find a trustworthy sitter. Also, it cracks me up how parents want to have daycare “on the cheap” then can’t believe it when their kids don’t get the red-carpet care they believe the kid is entitled to. Cheap daycare equals more kids being cared for by the day care person.

    If she failed to tell mom and dad about an incident, then I can understand the request. But I still think the sitter has a right to tell the parents to fuck off.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 5:02 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Iszi

    I’m kinda on both sides here, but mostly for the parents.

    Yeah, the parents *should* be talking to the babysitter to get the information that would otherwise be on this “form”, but I’m sure there’s often times where in the general course of events that it’s too easy to forget to have those discussions. Or, if such discussion is had, perhaps the parents often forget to ask certain questions. Or maybe even the babysitter might forget to provide certain information. Even outside of that event, information that *was* exchanged might easily be forgotten later. (My wife can tell you, my memory doesn’t really kick into gear until about 15 minutes after I’ve walked through the door.)

    So, while I do agree that the things anony-dad is asking for in paper should be handled in face-to-face discussion, I also see where having the information on a nice little form can be a good fail-safe to make sure that:

    1.) Parents don’t need to worry about forgetting to ask certain questions.

    2.) Babysitter doesn’t need to worry about forgetting to communicate certain (routine) details.

    3.) Neither party has to worry about the parents forgetting any of the details that were communicated, since they’re now on paper.

    Further, if a babysitter of my child left me a note like that regarding *any* reasonable request made of her, I’d be finding another one rather quickly – whether they would agree to the issue or not.

    All in all, this is a good example of why I try to let my wife be a stay-at-home mom, and only trust family or close friends for when we do need a babysitter.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 5:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Erin

    Team Babysitter. And I agree that her choice to put this in note form is her parodying his request to communicate in note form. And she does have a point, he wants day care service at babysitter prices. As Josh points out, the kids are staying at HER place. He is already getting close to day care-type service but yet he wants even more.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 5:37 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Kelly

    Anony-dad is an arsehole. Though it would have been better if the babysitter had actually spoken to him and said a big fat NO about the paperwork, I entirely agree with the sentiment. Paperwork from your babysitter or childminder? WOT A NOB.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 5:41 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   GhostWhriter

    I am so much on Team Anony-Dad, I’m getting a tattoo.

    Plenty have asked, “Why would a parent ask for a note?” I’ll bet it’s because the kids have come home starving, or immediately hurled in the car after they left the babysitter’s house, and Anony-Dad is just looking for some accountability on the babysitter’s part. Apparently the babysitter’s silent data-free hand-off at 5:00 isn’t working.

    Why beat down the sitter? Because she acts guilty- her response to the note request is, “I will not write you lies just to make you happy!” Huh?!? Nobody’s asking you to write lies- but can you at least tell me when you last fed my kid? Whether he slept? Hey, where’d this bruise come from??

    Nobody asks for a note like that unless the data-dump or the activities aren’t being perfomed. Either way, it is time to get a new babysitter.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 5:55 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Aline

    Team babysitter, allllll the way.

    I love the sweet irony that the note represents: the dad wanted things written down, instead of simply exchanged verbally… so instead of talking to him, she wrote her complaint in a note… in which she expresses that she’s anti-note. It’s awesome and brilliant. The dad was obviously unapproachable enough that he didn’t even know if his kid had ate or slept that day, and would therefore be unreachable by the babysitter to discuss the paperwork.

    PS: Lay off her grammar and spelling. If they wanted a Harvard grad to babysit their kids, they could pay one to do it. Sadly, they are probably underpaying a lesser-educated person, or someone who has moved here from another country and speaks another language. Give her a fair wage and she’ll do your “paperwork”

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:04 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   AM

    Good god, people. No one knows why the father made this request. Maybe they’re trying to get health issues diagnosed or eliminated as potential causes of disease, etc. It’s assinine for the baby-sitter to not ask more questions that could affect how she cares for the child and run off a non-verbal rant. And there is still privacy in this world, in theory; the parents don’t need to explain every little thing to their outside support. I wouldn’t take my kids back to someone who clearly is flying off the handle.

    While verbal discussions are better, I don’t see this as an unreasonable request.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:26 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Nattie

    Team Anony-dad for me!

    As far as I’m concerned, she’s being paid to do what they ask her to, and if she doesn’t like it, she should quit, simple as that.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   whOOt

    I love how everyone says the paperwork is unreasonable, when no one here knows, what the form even looks like.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Goldie

    Team babysitter. The request for her to document her every move indicates some trust issues. Find a babysitter you can trust, or at the very least (sarcasm on) save the poor woman’s time and install a freakin camera (sarcasm off). Plus, as she said, she can write pretty much anything she wants on this form, so what’s the point?
    Of course I shouldn’t be talking – my Mom watched my kids when they weren’t in daycare, and she left me ten-page notes with detailed descriptions of what the kids did, ate, said etc… whether I asked for it or not. She actually still does it even though the kids are about to start 6th and 9th grade and do not, in fact, require babysitting, let alone notes on what happened to them on her watch. It’s kinda cute.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Cat Skyfire

    This is probably something that should’ve been done in person. But, I am definitely anti-babysitter for the use of all caps.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   goldfish

    I’m a full-time babysitter with a college education (in the middle of emigrating, so I have to work off the books).

    I’d definitely roll my eyes at being asked to do this, but I’d agree to filling out a short form. My guess is that the father picks the kids up from sitting but neglects to ask how their day went, and his wife finally asked him to get basic info down on paper.

    And as for the babysitter’s snotty note — I wouldn’t leave my kids with her again.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:02 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   emily

    i hate to say it, but when you’re a babysitter, youre pretty much paid to do what the parents want. i babysit, and have had to do some pretty stupid stuff, but after all, theyre not my kids. if it means getting paid, id write a stupid note, just do it while theyre napping!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Vampira

    Team Babysitter, though she needs to l2capslockoff.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   pry

    you know, the mother probably nagged the father every day when he brought them home from the babysitter (‘when did they eat?” “was sally coughing today?”). not able to supply sufficient answers, finally the dad said, “jesus, i’ll just get her to fill out a damn form everyday, will that make you happy?”

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   pry

    sorry goldfish, ijust realized i repeated your sentiment less eloquently.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Psipsina

    I love the way anony-dad presents the babysitter’s entire note in all its gory and somewhat embarrassing detail, and even *corrects her grammar* on Flickr, but only gives us the briefest description of what his form, which provoked the note, looked like.

    There’s not enough information here for me to declare a team affliliation. But the fact that there’s not enough information is anony-dad’s fault – is he hiding something? Maybe his “short form” is 4 pages long or something. Because the dad seems to be hiding something, I lean, very slightly, toward the babysitter’s side.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:21 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   TN

    I’m all with the babysitter here. I think it is unreasonable to ask her to fill out a form everyday for babysitting services. However, if a child is sick and running a fever, has diarreah and meds were given, or if a child took a bad fall, then of course the sitter should take it upon herself to log that information. It’s just good practice and also covers her ass. If the day goes smoothly then I don’t think it’s necessary to fill out paperwork each and every day and if that’s what the parents want then the sitter should get a raise.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Writer, Rejected

    Do you think anony-dad brought the kids back and smoothed it over? Like, “Oopsy, I was just thinking if you had a couple of extra minutes while Junior is taking a dump, you could jot a few things down, but I see I have crossed some serious class divide. My bad.” Or maybe he’d be afraid to go back there, which would kind of make him a putz, since there’s a major power thing going on between himself and the babysitter. I think sometimes the powerless babysitters of the world *have* to resort to writing notes like this to even the playing field. In this case, I’m kind of with the fierce, don’t-fuck-with-me-rich-man babysitter. Team B-S, for me.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:23 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   MissPinkKate

    Team Babysitter. A form? Fuck that.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Hannah

    I can’t believe how many Team Babysitters there are! I work a full-time job and I babysit on the weekends for a wonderful family, and I think writing down what the day was like is a great idea. There are plenty of things I want to tell them (both important and maybe just cute or silly) at the end of the day but usually it’s around 11 p.m and we all want to get to bed. I think the babysitters hissy fit was absurd, and if she really has a problem with it she should just TALK to the dad. I’m guessing a lot of Team Babysitters are really bad babysitters.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:32 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   luckymommy

    that babysitter is a just a lazy bitch, simple as that. How hard is it and how long does it take to jot some shit down about these babies/kids everyday. Please, give me a break. All of that because the man wants to keep up with as much as he can about his kids? This is what responsible, hands on parents do and responsible sitters happily comply because they totally understand. Why? Because it’s important and necessary for comprehensive parenting, that’s why. That bitch is just lazy, and if she’s got a problem with someone telling her what to do then she doesn’t need to look after anybody’s kids.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:34 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Heather

    Team Babysitter. If the dad wants a summary of the day in writing, he should hire a transcriptionist.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   MissMissy

    I, for one, want to see the form that Babysitter was asked to fill out.

    C’mon, it could be a follow up story…

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:37 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   e

    This babysitter seems to have some serious issues with daycares…and requests from parents. Just from the tone of the note – I wouldn’t take my kids to her again.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:39 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Anony-Dad

    After I got the kids home and read the note (she handed it to me along with ‘the forms’ in an envelope when I picked up the kids), I called her and we sorted this all out in a non-passive-aggressive way. The kids went back on Monday and all’s well that ends well.

    In her note, she’s really overstating the complexity of what I was asking her to do. It wasn’t a five-page minute-by-minute accounting of how the kids spent their day; it’s just a short summary. She watches our three-year old boy and our one-year old girl. The ‘form’ basically asks:

    When did (One Year Old’s Name) last eat?
    Did they behave?
    Anything else I need to know?

    I need to know when the little one last ate so I know when to feed her when I get home. I need to know whether they behaved because the older one is a typical 3-year-old who likes to test his limits. And the ‘anything else’ is just that — if they were constipated, or lethargic, or got bit by a rattlesnake, etc.

    For the first few weeks they were with this sitter, I asked the questions when I picked them up, but we thought it would be more efficient if she’d just write the answers before I got there.

    So now you know… the rest of the story.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:44 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Hannah

    Anony-Dad,

    I figured as much. Completely reasonable, but I would NOT have taken my kids back to her. She sounds like a nutcase who could turn at the flip of a switch.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   bethany

    people keep saying that if the babysitter doesn’t like it, she can quit. I read this note as DOING that – she says they can find someone else if they want the form filled out. Essentially – “I don’t like it, so if that’s what you want, I quit.”

    That makes me lean team babysitter. However, I also read the daddy form as info not accountability. Assuming his children are small, he just wants to know how soon he should feed them and whether or not they napped (which might explain crankiness). But I agree with everyone else that my sympathy depends entirely on the length and extent of the form.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:53 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Lovecarrots

    Hmm… no obvious reason for the freaked out note, sounds like transference. This is a scapegoat issue, babysitter was enraged about something else and it all bubbled up over this tiny issue…

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Lovecarrots

    How many times could I say “issue” there? Not enough. You get my drift though, I’m sure.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Writer, Rejected

    I still say it’s a class thing, for which there needs to be more sensitivity. Sounds like Anony-Dad handled it well. But still and all, the BS put him in his place, which spells p.o.w.e.r. That’s why I’m on her team. Clearly she is good at what she does and is not going to divulge any such eating-schedule, rattle-snake, constipation information unless she absolutely has to!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Crysilla

    Team Dad! That hot headed bitch is psycho. I just took a six week health and wellness course. The first day of the class we were told to record our eating and sleeping patterns.

    The parents seem like smart, educated people to me. If Psycho-Crazy-Killer Babysitter doesn’t want to fill out paperwork then she’s too busy to watch those kids.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   john

    I go with team babysitter

    I also support team read the frigging notes before commenting. She’s taking care of multiple kids at her house, not the kids of 1 family at the famlies house.

    In response to “She should just quit”: she should just quit what? Quit babysitting at her own house for multiple families because this one Dad needs a notarized daily log of his kids actions? In the note she said that she wouldn’t fill out the log, and that the father should find a new day care provider.

    TEAM READ THE FRIGGING NOTES FIRST

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:33 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   dregina

    Team Babysitter!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Jess

    Whats so hard about filling out a short form for documentation? The woman is being unreasonable as it would probably take a whole 3 MINUTES to fill out the damn form. “Taking time away from the kids” my butt, lazy is more like it. This woman is obviously very uneducated from the looks of this note, so I’m not sure why they would want her to watch their kids in the first place.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Mary

    I just hope this babysitter isn’t helping the children with their English homework!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Starks

    I support the dad all the way here. Responsible parents should know what is going on in their kids’ daily lives. Ideally, of course, the kids would remain with a parent during the day, but if that is not possible for this family, because they both need to work or whatever, then I admire the parents for having the foresight to ask for this information.

    The request is not ridiculous, but her response is. If she typed up this long letter soon enough to give it back to him when he picked his kids up, who was watching the kids while she typed? She says her reason for not filling out the paperwork is because it takes away from her ability to spend time with the “childern,” but I’m sure it took her far longer to type this asinine letter than it would have to just answer the questions.

    I agree that anyone who thinks the babysitter’s over-reaction is justified probably shouldn’t be a babysitter, and that anony-dad should definitely find a new sitter.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   stephanie

    TO THE DAD:

    I have two kids. I have one husband. I also have one babysitter. I think I know what went wrong with your babysitter. It appears you didn’t let her know why you wanted the info.

    And this is a problem all MEN make. Any question, suggestion, or seemingly innocent comment can be fodder for HOURS of female interpretation. Even if it is something simple as, “HOW WAS YOUR DAY WITH THE KIDS?”

    So–if the baby sitter is an excellent caretaker, if she loves the kids and the kids love her–talk to her, tell her you are sorry. Tell her how much the kids love her, what a great babysitter she is. Tell her how important she is to both your kids and you and your signficant other. Then tell her what your intentions were!

    Then for God sakes, get that girl a spa treatment or a massage appointment. She definitely needs to relax!

    Stephanie

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Andrew

    It seems that a lot of people are against having a log of their children’s activity at the babysitter. I don’t see what’s so unreasonable about asking your sitter to fill something out (our babysitter fills out a log book). It’s certainly not so that we can sue her at a later date – it’s so that we can record general things like “is baby constipated?” and “are her eating habits changing?”

    I have to say that I’m on “Team Parents” here. Keeping a log of your child’s activity is a great idea, and I don’t think the sitter should necessarily mind. Also, if the sitter *does* mind, a simple “I prefer not do this sort of paperwork” would suffice.

    And for anyone who thinks that keeping a children’s log is overkill, don’t keep one. Don’t harp on other people who want to be able to check things out. the idea that verbal communication is good enough for your kids irks me – I get things in writing for the much less important things that I do all day long (ie – my job). Why shouldn’t I get things in writing for the things that are worth more to me in the world than anything else?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:18 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Gwen

    Can someone please tell me where this “Team Whoever” shit came from? Because it’s really fucking annoying.
    Why the fuck does everyone feel the need to pick a “team” anyway? And the call it a team? It’s people who have written or recieved notes for fuck sakes. Not baseball.
    Knock it off. You sound like a buch of idiots. (It’s like those goddamned “Team Jolie” and “Team Aniston” shirts all over again.)

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Rebecca

    Team Dad. Good grief, it’s useful information, his form as presented to us is very, very brief (heck, I’d ask for more info than that from a teenaged babysitter if I had kids), and unless something went pretty seriously wrong that day, it shouldn’t take her any more time to write it up than to just tell him. Plus, if she just writes down feeding time as it happens, there’s no chance of her forgetting the time — and it’s easy to forget exact time if you do something day after day.

    Oh, and john, where does it say she’s taking care of multiple families’ worth of kids? The closest to that I see is the babysitter’s “I WILL NOT TAKE TIME AWAY FROM ANY OF THE KIDS,” but given her general lack of writing skills, I don’t necessarily see that as a statement that there are a whole lot of kids there. And if there are, then honestly, it’s a lot easier to forget which kid ate when, and to be distracted while discussing the matter during pickup, which is a good reason to have the forms. But I’d like to know which notes I should’ve read.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Matty

    Wow, Gwen. I take it we’ve dispensed with the ‘passive’?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   Deb

    Team Babysitter. Anon-Dad wrote: “For the first few weeks they were with this sitter, I asked the questions when I picked them up, but we thought it would be more efficient if she’d just write the answers before I got there.”

    To me that says that you wanted to use up her time, not yours. Did she seem to object to the questions when you asked them? Or were you just tired of having to communicate.

    And, people, back off about the spelling and caps. I’m really sick and tired of people being intellectual snobs. Not everyone has the same opportunities and education as you, but they certainly don’t deserve ridicule. “I just hope this babysitter isn’t helping the children with their English homework!” Shame on you.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:55 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   synj

    goodness!!

    i worked my way through college at daycares and as a babysitter, and my mom’s a nanny that works from home–
    i’ve always done a short little form.

    1 page, w/ categories you just fill in.
    at the top was name, time of arrival, attitude at arrival (the last filled in at nap-time).
    under that a 2 column 15 row box w/ “urinate” and “defecate” at the top that i filled in the times,
    a colum on the side w/ nap start/finish on top,
    under that a “mood and behavior” filled out when i got a chance,
    and under that a series of checkboxes for diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. that the child was out of, and then a general comments section. it took less than five minutes total through the course of the day.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   Cat Skyfire

    Anon-Dad wrote: “For the first few weeks they were with this sitter, I asked the questions when I picked them up, but we thought it would be more efficient if she’d just write the answers before I got there.”

    It may seem he’s trying to shorten her time, but I also wonder how long she was holding him up with the answers. After a day with small children, she may have been a bit too starved for adult conversation, or just the chance to talk to someone who doesn’t make babbling noises.

    So a ‘Bobby ate at 2:30. He tried to pour water on the baby at 4. The baby has a little cough.” becomes 30 minutes of rambling detail.

    During that 30 minutes, the kids are pretty much stuck at the door (which means the 3 year old is getting bored), and the dad is trying to extricate himself politely…

    So I can see why he’d go for the form. It’s also a ‘logical’ thing. Same information asked daily, create a method to shorten it. Very guy thinking.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   GhostWhriter

    I am so on Team Anony-Dad…
    …that I am going to finally submit my $104 for our fundraiser.

    (and I am so not on Team Gwen (62), that I made myself a T-Shirt that says, …gwen, Gwen, GONE !!)

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   GhostWriter

    I am so on Team Anony-Dad…
    …that I am going to finally submit my $104 for our fundraiser.

    (and I am so not on Team Gwen (62), that I made myself a T-Shirt that says, …gwen, Gwen, GONE !!)

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   S.S.

    I find it a little ignorant from anyone to say “well, she’s paid to do whatever they tell her!”. Um, no, she isn’t. She charges a rate for services she provides, and if you aren’t happy with all those services you do what any other customer does, you shop around for better services.

    It’s like if I ask my waiter to do a lap dance for me under the pretense that “I pay/tip him to do whatever I say!”.

    Customer service is a horrible job precisely because clients think they are entitled to be assholes to employees.

    Okay, that was my rant. Other than that, the request of the dad, if that was in fact the length of the original form, doesn’t seem that unreasonable, although it may have been asked the wrong way and she just got upset over a little thing.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:26 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   Goldie

    “And, people, back off about the spelling and caps. I’m really sick and tired of people being intellectual snobs. Not everyone has the same opportunities and education as you, but they certainly don’t deserve ridicule. “I just hope this babysitter isn’t helping the children with their English homework!” Shame on you.”

    What Deb said. It’s getting on my nerves too. “OMG, she said ‘childern’, let’s make fun of her”. This isn’t even being intellectual snobs, this is being intellectual third-graders. Heck, my kids know better than that. And “English homework”? They give English homework to one-year-olds now? I must’ve missed that memo.
    Anyway, it seems that Dad showed a much higher level of maturity than some of the commenters and has already resolved this issue. Yay for Dad!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Travis

    You know, I have a PhD and I used to teach English, and I fail to see how spelling skills have anything to do with ability to take care of kids. And you know, given how hostile all of you are about her lack of education, I’m not surprised she didn’t want to fill out a form. She probably knows there are so many folks who somehow feel educational opportunity is tied to child rearing abilities.

    Get some class consciousness, people, for crying out loud.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:34 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   anon

    How interesting. These parents don’t have the time to take care of their own children. But they DO have the time to create paperwork for their babysitter to fill out.

    What the hell?

    You are getting what you pay for. It would have been very easy for the babysitter to either refuse to complete the paperwork or simply ask for more money to do so.

    If the parents don’t like it, then they can drop their kids off somewhere else. Very simple.

    It sure does look likely that the parents and the babysitter are more childish than the kids.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   aliastaken

    While being asked to fill out a form isn’t a huge request (when I was a nanny, we simply used a notebook to share information back and forth, which was my suggestion, mostly because the family I worked for couldn’t seem to remember to tell me about appointments or other information), I do think it lacks the personal touch. A quick five-minute conversation at the beginning and/or end of the day spent with children is certainly appropriate. It seems to me that the sitter feels a little dehumanized by the dad. Like, why can’t he just talk to me like he used to? Her frequent references to day care bear this out. Every day care I ever worked out used the forms, which seemed pointless to us, since we talked to all the parents for a minute at the end of the day anyway. Well, we talked to all the parents who cared… hmmm.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Jededalus

    Team anony-dad. We have our babysitter fill out a form that tells what time our kid eats, how much, and when she had a diaper change. Our form is preprinted, all it requires is a checkmark here and there. It takes literally a second every couple of hours away from “childern”-watching.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Max Roswell

    Put me on Team Babysitter, as well as Team-I-Gotta-Stop-Reading-The-Comments-Because-It-Makes-Me-Hate-People

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:45 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   PatHMV

    I’m on Team Glad They Worked It Out Like Sensible People…

    And I second Stephanie’s comment (#60) that this looks like a male-female communication gap issue. I suspect dad approached it like most males would, with a simple request to start filling out the form from now on, without explaining really why. She misinterpreted that as a demand/ultimatum and responded with the note. Fortunately, Anony-Dad is more sensible than some of the commenters here and responded not with a “you psycho bitch!” but a calm phone call to discuss the issue and work things out, straightening out the miscommunications.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   Megami

    Team Anony-Dad for yours truly.

    I don’t think what he was asking for was too much of a burden. If I was asked that (being a girl, i’ve done my fair share of babysitting.), I’d probably just do it and treat it like a journal/diary entry.

    I also agree that perhaps there is more of a reason behind the form than it seems. Like trying to diagnose a health problem or some sort of reaction to things. Like little Johnny gets puffy and goes to the hospital and they find that he has had an allergic reaction, but to what?? Then, that log would be helpful.

    And I guess I also seem to think that perhaps the babysitter is busy cleaning up or whatever when the dad gets his kids and probably doesn’t speak with him at all.

    Come on, People, give the dad a break!

    Also, over everything, go team Kids!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Shawn

    Team babysitter… I’m a dad, and I talk to the babysitter and daycare every day (one kid at each during the school year due to one being in grade school).

    All of the detail I want to know is communicated verbally to me at the end of every day. And, day cares wouldn’t fill out that kind of form either. They are too busy and have too many kids.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   Marissa

    It’s really quite ridiculous to ask for notes from your babysitter when you can just ask her what went down when you pick the kids up. But as for the babysitter’s response, I have two suggestions:

    1. Learn how to effectively use the caps lock key
    2. Grow the hell up

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   Potbelly

    Team babysitter all the way. I’ve babysat plenty, and I have never been asked to fill out a form. If he can’t spare the time and energy to discuss the kids with the sitter for a few minutes when he collects them, why does he expect her to take the time and energy off her end to fill out some mildly humiliating form? What a pompous tool.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   Jess

    I completely agree with whoever said that if she doesn’t have 3 minutes or less to fill out a tiny form, where did she get time to type a 1.5 page all caps letter? I doubt that if she types in all caps that she is a quick typer so I’m sure it took even longer.

    I think she is just being ridiculous and immature and I don’t see how anyone with kids could disagree that she is being unreasonable.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Jess

    By the way, what if he wants to shorten the time it takes to pick the kids up so he can have more time with them before bedtime….hmmm makes perfect sense!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   garota.da.capa

    ugh ! I worked as a label manager for a few months and I quit because my boss made me write reports everyday!

    Sure, you can do it for a few days, but it gets really annoying after 2 weeks or so. Most of the time, it´s the SAME thing you do everyday!!

    God that drove me nuts.

    Specially for a babysitter, come on, she is watching the kids, they probably do the same everyday.

    And I´m sure if one of the kids started to look like getting sick she would tell the parents even if they hadn´t asked for the written reports. And if they want to know when was the last time they ate, she coud tell them in a second, and not have to write it down.

    I would not loose someone who I trust over something like this.

    Or maybe they didn´t trust her, why did the parents want the witten report in the first place, I´d like to know if they are reading the comments, please tell us !

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   Hexamillion

    I am solidly on Team Babysitter for this one! Anony-Dad sounds like a spoiled uber-entitled parent. Foisting anal retentive reporting duties on an underpaid babysitter is such an asshole thing to do. Why do these parents feel they need written daily reports anyway? Can’t they tell when their own children are sick? Are they paranoid that the babysitter is starving their poor children to death? Why written reports? …do they want it for a future lawsuits? Mumsy and Daddums need to get a grip or put up the cash to seend their little darling brats to a fully regimented maximum-security daycare facility that panders to their excessive little whims. *whew I feel better now*

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:47 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Potbelly

    For those saying why does she take time to write a letter, but doesn’t want to fill out the form…she is writing the letter because she didn’t like being told to deal with the forms. Yes it’s a letter, and it’s long and in all caps but it is pretty clear that she is standing up for herself and putting her foot down on something she believes is not part of her duties.

    Technically, if this letter results in her not having to do a daily form for each of multiple kids which would have to be handy and attended to throughout the day, every day, she saved herself untold time and nuisance in the long run. I get the feeling she is cheaper than alternatives and knows it.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   Laura

    Honestly. I’m on team PARENTS. If a parent wants the caregiver of their child to write a quick note about how the kids were and what they last ate…then they should do it. Afterall, it IS their children. And if the caregiver was soo concerned about the welfare of the children, why can’t she understant that the note would help the parents take better care of the children depending on what the kids did or did not do that day.

    Pet Peeve- Incorrect grammar…..There vs. Their. Maybe this woman, shouldn’t be taking care of the kids anyway.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   Writer, Rejected

    Team Team. (What’s so repugnant about wanting to belong? I don’t get it. )

    I agree that the babysitter probably isn’t so comfy on the computer, or even with a pencil filling out forms (as noted by many), but let’s face it skills for sitting on kids don’t really require Shakespearean flourish with the written word or even noun-verb agreement. Her problem writing letters doesn’t mean she isn’t superb at her job. It means she doesn’t want to do it or is uncomfortable with the idea. And in all fairness she told the Dad he could find someone who wants to write him evaluations if that’s what’s required, but it’s not her thing. So, I don’t see why she’s a psycho bitch or a immature child. True: perhaps she overreacted a bit.

    I also agree that a lack of spelling and education doesn’t mean she should get kicked around here. However, this blog is pretty much about making fun of people, isn’t it? So what’s with all the outrage. I thought that’s why we were here.

    Anyway, team babysitter all the way. And, go team!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   Mona

    I work at a daycare (in the office). I have filled in for some of our childcare providers in the classrooms and infant rooms. I will tell you why we have “forms/paperwork.” Even though we try to talk to the parents when children are picked up – no one can remember EVERYTHING that went on that day. We have a small sheet of paper for each child – daily. There are spaces to jot down when and what the child ate/drank, when diapers were changed, when naps were taken, if the child seemed unusually cranky or ill, and if the child needs any supplies (diapers, wipes, extra clothing, etc…) Some parents don’t bother to stop and ask questions when picking their kids up. Some forget what we tell them. And sometimes we just may not remember EVERYTHING the parent may want to know about. It’s not time-consuming or difficult to make these little notes through-out the day. I don’t see why this person got so upset with the dad’s request.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Anon

    Team Commenters here (vs. Team Gwen)

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   Alyssa

    I’m definitely on Team Parents. The forms the dad describe sound like they’d take about 5 minutes, if that, but the babysitter makes it out to seem like in the time it takes her to fill them out, the kids will set the house on fire and end up with marbles in their throats. I babysit a lot, and at the end of the night the parents ask these kinds of questions anyway. I can see how having it in writing would definitely help if the kids became sick or something like that. The babysitter definitely overreacts; and the thing is, she probably was neglecting to watch the CHILDERN when she wrote this botched abortion of a letter.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Potbelly

    88-I know right? People really expect highly educated native English speakers to babysit their kids for peanuts? Why don’t these brilliant grammaticians and spelling officers just stay home with their own kids then? Oh right, because their educations enable them to do better things with their time.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:07 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   April

    I have to side with dad here. Being a mom and a former babysitter, I don’t see how asking what a baby or young child did that day is a bad thing -especially since they can’t say, “I’m hungry, babysitter didn’t feed me lunch cuz I overslept at nap time”.

    I won’t go on and on about stuff people have already said, but I will mention that I know numerous extremely intelligent people who can’t spell worth a damn so lay off.

    Mainly, I wanted to say that if this babysitter watches more than these two children, there is a very strong possibility that the other parents are picking their children up at the same time this dad is. Which means he either has to wait for the other parents & kids to leave before being able to get his questions answered or he’s in the way of them getting the same information about their children.

    Seems reasonable, too, that when her day is over, she wants the kids to GO so she can do something else before the end of the day. I think, if I were in her situation, that I would be thrilled that I wouldn’t have to go over little Johnny’s day minute by minute and waste my off-time yakking with parents while the kids stayed. For free no less.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   Shawn

    I’m also on Team PatHMV, a blast from the past way back up at comment #77. At least the Dad and Babysitter talked it out eventually, and life went on as per usual. If those two can make up in this crazy, mixed-up “reports and all-caps” world, maybe there’s hope for us all.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 12:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   Writer, Rejected

    Team hope for all of us.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 1:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   dflkj

    to GOLDFISH:
    great job announcing to the world wide web that you are working illegally, not paying taxes, generally committing a federal crime. Great job! You will go far … but with your lack of brains it is questionable you will get any form of citizenship.

    Are you bragging? The stupidity …

    Jul 16, 2007 at 3:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   hal

    the letter does not state what kind of paper work the parents wanted filled out

    also, the sitter says she refuses to “lie” on paper for the parents

    this whole paper business smells fishy to me

    why is everyone assuming the parents wanted a daily report?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   tweedle

    Hexamillion (85) and Potbelly (81), Thanks for hitting it on the head. Power to the people!

    Yes the babysitter overreacted, but I’ll warrant she’s dealt/put up with more than her share of mild (and otherwise) humiliation from “uber-entitled” (the modern bordering-on-overuse of ‘uber’ is very like the ‘team such and so’ craze that so niggles Gwen; annoying, but can be just right when well-het) spoiled folk with which our poor country is soo rife!

    Go, Babysitter! Yeah, maybe go to the spa and get a massage! Anony–dad? Are you listening?

    How much do YOU make per hour?

    Sometimes caps lock is necessary.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   erinclot

    When I used in-home daycare the provider gave us a digital photo every day with notes on the back of what was eaten at meals, how long naps were and at what times, as well as diaper changes, etc. She was being paid quite a bit for this, but it was her own doing, we never asked for it. I’m not sure I would be providing the same services if it was just “babysitting” a recap at the end of the day should do just fine.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Canuck

    okay,
    first, why is everyone ‘assuming’ that the babysitter is in fact un-educated? Why, because she had some spelling errors? So what? Is everything you type always perfectly spelled? She probably wrote this in the heat of the moment, was quite upset and didn’t even think to check the spelling or grammar when she printed it off. This does not mean she is un-educated. I love how everyone jumps to conclusions without all of the facts.

    Second, I’m wondering out of all of the commentators in this thread-how many of you are parents and how many are not? I have a very strong suspicion that the indivuals who side with the babysitter are not parents and the ones who side with the father are.

    Someone mentioned about her babysitting others-well, if she’s also caring for other people’s children, then yes-she is a ‘day-care’. If she’s watching multiple children from various families, how, as a parent, is this man suppose to know if she’s actually noticing anything with his kids. If I’m paying someone to watch my children, I want to know if you are really watching them or just collecting the money. Perhaps this couple has had issues with babysitters in the past, maybe one of the children has medical issues and needs to be watched carefully for certain tell-tale signs. Perhaps the babysitter has other parents asking making similar requests and she feels if she has to take the time to fill this stuff out, then she’s taking away from her primary objective-to watch the kids. She did make a valid point-who’s to say she isn’t going to lie on the paper? There are many sitters who would and do. The father has no idea if she would or not. The thing is-WE don’t know. We will never know. the details are all sketchy at best and to be for or against either side is to make a decision on poorly provided facts.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Har

    I can understand why the babysitter was annoyed, it seems as if Dad wants to micromanage the scene.

    But I also understand why the Dad wanted everything spelled out in black and white.

    Obviously this is not a good fit for either party.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 6:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   Sarah

    If you really want to know what your brat is doing every second of every day, try *gasp* watching it yourself.

    I have a child, and I can’t believe the audacity of this guy. I would never expect my babysitter (who is significantly cheaper than day-care) to write a report for me. Do a background check and trust her to do what you are paying her to do: watch your kid.

    And I’m sure the babysiter would love to improve her grammar and diction, but she’s too busy watching other peoples’ kids for a pittance to educate herself.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   tweedle

    Canuck says: “If I’m paying someone to watch my children, I want to know if you are really watching them or just collecting the money.”

    Canuck, you sound like someone who does not spend much time with children. Just to get children safe, fed, and diapered/bathroomed through the day is doing way more than “collecting money.” Holy smokes! Are you really a parent? The kids would have to be tied in a closet for the sitter to be simply “collecting the money.” I mean, good lord Canuck; who are you hiring to watch your kids?!

    I think that is a key issue here; the parent –poor Anony-dad, who thought we would all share his cold & fussy entitlement and rude sneering at the sitter’s less-than-sophisticated umbrage-taking– unwittingly expresses a lack of respect and even a distaste for the sitter with his form request. He can’t see it, but she picks right up on it because she might not be a Rhodes scholar, but she’s plenty smart.

    *Is* the sitter less than highly-educated? Clearly. Read the letter. Is the dad in question saying to the sitter — i am a disdainful prig and I have chosen to cover my ass rather than be human. If this were not the case, then the parent would find a sitter they trust and respect –with whom they have enough rapport to communicate well about the kids– or find a way to stay home with the young children themselves.

    I am a mom. I am single and ‘poor,’ not on welfare, have scrabbled to stay home with my kid as much as possible. Get creative, go without — expose your ass to a bit of life, out from under the shadow of the form.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Mike

    The dad is totally anal. Filling out a daily rep0rt…give me a break. Doesn’t someone have to get home before the babysitter leaves, and why can’t they just be told then when the kids ate last or if one is sick. Anal I tell you anal.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   Katherine

    I’m on Team Dad. The “form” consists of three simple questions.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   tweedle

    The Anony-dad challenge:

    Show us the real McCoy form in question?

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   Writer, Rejected

    Once again, Tweedle, you are on fire. Gotta’ offer my respect.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 7:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   Kidz iz kool

    Looks to me like the kids won. Cheers to babysitter for using any means to make her feelings known, rather than going truly passive-aggressive and mistreating the kids (hey, folks have done it). Weird as it may seem, this is a major healing step for her. She has nearly-overwhelming anger that is clearly related to some deeply hurtful past issue, which I’ll wager had something to do with an ethical disagreement with a (past-job) impersonal assembly-line daycare frequented by varnished yuppies who wanted to brag that their little cherubs were getting nothing but the best. BTW: all-caps is fine if you’re expressing excessive anger, and she clearly was. She didn’t yell at this guy. She wrote a letter. Definitely takes her out of the psycho-bitch category. Her boundaries were invaded. Hers. For whatever reason. Was it the best approach? No. Was it better than a lot of other alternatives? Yes. Does she have just as much right to self-determination as all the white-collar elitists who compose perfect communications? Absolutely, and don’t dare even go there. Mean people still suck. Do all you respondents have any right to decide what she “should” be required/expected to do? Not even; talk about grandiose!
    And many cheers for Dad! Once he realized that she must have seen the situation as some sort of indictment or imposition, he was stellar enough to reach back and bridge the gap. What a hero! He didn’t fly off the handle, he talked to her. Pretty much shoots down all the judgements, slurs, and derogatory expletives that have been hurled his direction, too. I imagine if he truly needs this stuff in writing (in case he sometimes forgets between pick-up and home), he’s probably already decided to jot tidbits on the form himself as he gets the usual update from the sitter.
    Hero-Dad clearly values his kids’ sitter, and he’s obviously self-assured enough to apologize and regroup when he realizes something went very differently than intended. His kids are the real winners. They have a great Dad (with a sense of humor, because the note really was worth a laugh) and they also got to keep their continuity babysitter who cares about them. I love it.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Sweet Jane

    I love you people. You’re all on Team Made My Day!

    Except you, Gwen. You’re on Team GFY!

    :)

    Jul 16, 2007 at 8:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   Hmmm....

    I don’t understand why people have kids then hand them off to morons like this woman to raise them. She obviously spends more time with these kids than the actual parents do. Scary. Espcially when they are that young and completely defenseless. Who knows what this woman is doing or not doing with them all day long. I say put the kids up for adoption to parents that really want to have kids and care for them, and get yourself a pet cat or dog or hamster.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   .................................................

    Sounds like they pay her very low wages. How ridiculous that they want a written statement for every time she is with them. They can sit down and ask her how it went and pay her for that time too.

    If they are so busy that they need a written report on how their children are doing then they might want to reasses their lifestyles.

    As for the person who says adoption is because people don’t want their kids, you seriously need to educate yourself on that. Comments like that are really insulting to the mothers who break their hearts making an impossible decision like that. It’s not about them not wanting their children, it’s about them wanting the best for their children.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 9:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   Nostalgia

    Haha, “an awfully long note…” Good observation, Team PAN!

    By the end of the letter, I was thinking about that babysitter with the wooden spoon caught on hidden camera… Smack! In other words, there was fear for the kids. I kinda(*) feel like Iago for mentioning it.

    What I would expect from my babysitter is a short note saying that it’s difficult to make time for paperwork. And if that were the case, I would come up with some sort of form that required nothing more than a checkmark at the appropriate hour.

    Good luck there with Rebecca De Mornay. Hehe, just kidding.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 10:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   Canuck

    Tweedle, as a matter of fact I am a parent-to 4 children as a matter of fact-and like you, a single one. I didn’t have the luxory of staying home to raise my kids after my husband died-I did what a lot of parents do-I went out and I worked. I busted my ass (still do) to support my kids. With your mud sling at me, you have only proven my point further-no one knows the whole story. You assumed that I had the opportunity to stay home with my children if I wanted to watch over them so much and to know so much. Your a mother? Do you not care what is going on with your child when you pass them over to another persons care? Oh that’s right, I forgot, you ‘scrabbled to stay home” with your kids-some of us don’t have that luxury. I pay $500/week to have my kids taken care of. I’m lucky, I have an amazing sitter and my kids love her, but not everyone is so lucky. Not everyone gets to stay home and raise their children, like you do. Unfortunately, there are those of us (like anony-dad & myself) that have to work for a living to put food on the table, a roof over our childrens heads and clothes on their backs, and not all of us have what you obviously assume is a high paying job. You get to stay home with your kids? Great! But don’t crap all over the rest of us who are not able too, just because we want to know what goes on through the day with our kids.

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Kozimoto

    Anony-dad wanted a note to know if his kid was sick? Like, he couldn’t notice that himself? Geez.

    I suppose he was going to put all the reports in a scrapbook so, in his old age, he could lament over all the cute things his kids did while he wasn’t around… ha!

    Jul 16, 2007 at 11:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Trickster

    Why are people assuming this woman is uneducated because she misspelled in a note that was written when she was upset? My sister is going through 3,5 years of college to be a “baby sitter”. Working with small children, whether it be in your home or at a day care center is NOT just about looking at the children, feeding them at regular intervals and making sure that they are warm enough. Alot of these people are educated pre-school teachers. It takes time, dedication and intellectual skills to keep a good learning environment for small children.

    As for writing a note each day, since it wasn’t a part of the original deal, I can see why that would be a point of conflict.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 12:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   loren

    As a stay-at-home mom to three toddlers, I definitely know how *important details* can be forgotten by the end of a long day. Maybe it was something the parents felt would be a good tool for both parties involved. As prior posters mentioned – if she had to write this note, she obviously can’t communicate well, or is extremely immature, or both. Maybe the dad’s idea isn’t all that bad after all.

    Also, how lazy do you have to be to not want to jot down a few notes every day if the parents request it? How hard is it? So what if it seems a little anal – just do it and shutup. I had to keep major charts to remember if I had fed all three babies that feeding, or I would forget, especially at 4AM on 2 hours of sleep. Sometimes this stuff is important. If they wanted a spreadsheet on Excel, maybe I’d sympathize. A few notes? Nuh-uh.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 12:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   Nattie

    In reply to Canuck, that said that most parents would side with anony-dad, and most childless people with the babysitter, I’m a 16 year old girl (no kids) who sided with Dad. So sorry, but your strong suspicion is wrong.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 3:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   Strepsi

    The masterpiece of passive-aggressive cluelessness is NOT the note, it’s the intro from the dad: explains an anony-dad in st. louis:

    “i asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. i guess it offended her.”
    WHAT AN A-HOLE! HIS ATTITUDE MAKES ME TYPE IN CAPS TOO! HE WANTS IN WRITING WHEN HIS KIDS “LAST ATE”? WHY – FOR A LAWSUIT OR WHAT? TOTAL CLOWN!!!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 3:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   dirty old lady

    I’m with both of them, here; in a day-care situation where you have multiple kids, things can happen during the day that you really *want* to tell the parents about their kids’ day (good, bad, or just plain funny), but during the evening pick-up rush, it can be hard to remember and convey all of it–you end up getting a few friendly words in with the folks and then they’re on the move, trying to get home in time to make supper for the kids or make that evening appointment or pick up the other spouse from work… or maybe just trying to get out of the way of the other harried parents who just want to get their kids and get home. Personally, I’d have been at least jotting down notes on things like feeding times and diaper changes and adorable comments the kids made without needing to be asked to do it. So I don’t think the Dad’s request was unreasonable–he just wants to know as much as he can about how his kids’ day went, without having to pump the babysitter for information at the end of the day when everyone’s tired and ready to go home.

    On the other hand, I can see how the babysitter’s reaction is also understandable. If I were running my own daycare, I wouldn’t want anyone telling me how to run my business or making more work for me when I’m already working hard to keep their kids healthy and happy, and I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them so.

    So if I’m on a team, it’s Team “Hooray for both parties working this out like grownups.” :)

    Jul 17, 2007 at 4:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   Anony-Dad

    #118 Strepsi: I need to know when my 1-year old last ate because she’s still on a schedule; she eats every four hours. I need it on paper because if it’s not on paper I’ll forget it before I even get to my car. At first I just asked when I picked them up and wrote it down while I was talking to the sitter, but I thought it would be faster to have it already written down for me when I got there.

    #102 Sarah: I wish I had the luxury of being able to watch my kids during the day. As it stands, my wife and I both have to work in order to pay the rent and keep our kids fed. If I were made of money, I’d be home with my kids every day.

    I love how people are jumping on me, telling me that I’m an uber-entitled anal-retentive yuppie lawyer snob who expects the world handed to him on a silver platter. Fact is, I’m a blue-collar worker making barely enough to make ends meet. I miss my kids like hell during the day, and if I didn’t care about keeping a roof over their head or food in their tummies I’d quit my job tomorrow and watch them myself.

    I don’t want them to stay with the sitter all day. But short of winning the lottery I don’t have much other choice.

    Ask your sitter to write something down: You’re an uber-entitled anal-retentive yuppie lawyer snob who expects the world handed to him on a silver platter.

    Let your sitter do whatever she wants: You’re a distant, neglectful parent who ought to have never spawned children in the first place.

    Welcome to the internet. You can’t win.

    I’ll try to post the actual form after work tonight, if anyone still cares at that point.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 5:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   cre8tivewmn

    anony-dad: Try not to take things too personally. People have made up their own back-stories to fill in the gaps. That has more to do with them than it does with you.


    I certainly don’t consider myself a neglectful parent, but I confess I never paid much attention to counting diaper changes or bowel movements. If something unusual was going on, the babysitter would tell me or I would tell her so she could keep an eye on the situation. The same applied to meals. If my child was hungry at an unusual time and needed an extra snack, the babysitter would tell me. Otherwise, if things were going normally, I didn’t feel it necessary to worry too much about schedules, etc.

    There are a wide variety of parenting styles and fortunately, our children seem to survive all well-meaning attempts.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 5:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   GhostWriter

    With this new data, I am so on Team Anony-Dad that I am going to offer him my wife for an evening, and then name the bastard Anony-Dadson.

    (…and I am so not on Team Babysitter that I am going to install a polygraph at her home, so she can no longer “lie just to make me happy.”)

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   Melis

    I have to laugh at everyone who says “have a quick conversation” when they are picking up their kids-pick up time at my daycare lady’s house is CHAOS and she can’t just tell someone to wait a minute when she’s got 4 toddlers who all want to go home/play/bite their sister/whatever. If you pick your kid up at a different time than the others, it’s an entirely different story but at rush hour everyone is trying to get their kid and get home.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   T-ppp

    I’m a petsitter…I leave a note for 6 different pets EVERY DAY…fluffy’s box was busy…King pooped and peed on our walk…it’s when the notes say “King didn’t eat and had trouble pooping” that alert overworked owners to potential trouble…it’s a heads up. Sometimes I see things they do not. Team DAD.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   Goldie

    2 Canuck:
    “I have a very strong suspicion that the indivuals who side with the babysitter are not parents and the ones who side with the father are. ”
    I am a parent and I was originally on team Babysitter (although as of late I do feel that I’m falling in love with the Dad – too bad he’s taken!) I’m confused, what did you mean by your comment? That the moment we become parents, the world starts to revolve around our precious CHILDERN? Um, no, not all parents are like that, please do not lump us all together. I for one have always assumed the daycare institutions to be innocent until proven otherwise. My children started daycare at the ages of 2 and 1.5 and are now in public school… it all works for me. When problems arise, I address them and we’re usually able to work something out, or if we’re not then I take my business elsewhere. I had to change daycares once.
    #110, you cracked me up. Matter of fact I’m surprised it took so long for a fundie-type parent to come out of the woodwork with their usual “quit your jobs, women, stay home”. It usually happens much earlier in a discussion like this.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 7:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   The Queen of Passive Aggressiveness

    Anony-dad, you rock. It sucks that people are jumping all over you.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   bibliocephalus

    It is would appear from her note (spelling, grammar, all caps) that written communication is not something she excels at. I propose that she knows this, and also that she may have felt that by asking for written documentation, anonydad was implying that her care was somehow lacking.” It’s sad though, it seems like everybody loses, when all they really had to do was TALK about it. *sigh*

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   Hmmm....

    You can change your work hours or job to be with your kid. I did. I only worked when she was at school. Yeah, we ate a lot of spaghetti and PBJs, but I was home with her. Didn’t live in the fanciest neighborhood or drive the best car, but I was home wit h her. Now you’re telling me you AND your wife work and you can’t stay home with your kids?? How about if you get a second job and your wife stays home?? Who do you think your kids would rather be with? Who would YOU rather be raised by, a baby sitter or a PARENT? Do what it takes and forget about the damn notes to the sitter. If a parent is home with the kids, it won’t be an issue. Don’t say ‘I can’t', make it happen!! Your kids will LOVE you for it!!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   Deb

    Tweedle, you rock.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   Goldie

    Ah, the mommy wars. 110 & 130. What’s with the assumption that people continue working after they have kids only so they can have bigger cars and live in fancier houses? How would you like it if somebody said SAHMs only stay at home because they’re too lazy to get out and do actual work, or too dumb to earn a living? It’s the same half-brained assumption you’re making. Why are you telling anony-Dad how to live his life, did he appoint you as his personal counselor? Arrgh. This topic never fails to make my blood boil. Sorry all, I will stop now. PS. I was raised in a day care and I’m none the worse for it. At least I know to stay out of people’s lives and not to use double exclamation points when talking to people.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   Kate

    Not to mention, why would she be “lying” on paper? Does that mean she isn’t feeding them or really watching them at all?

    She probably turns on the sprinkler and puts them in the back yard with a vat of kool-aid and some cheese doodles, and then drinks bloody marys while watching her stories.

    Sheesh.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   The Queen of Passive Aggressiveness

    Goldie, “Hmmmm” is obviously some bored housewife who is feeling very defensive and insecure about her choice to stay home with her brats. They’re probably parked in front of Dora the Explorer right now as she whisks around the Internet, dispensing judgements to alleviate her feelings of utter inadequacy.

    Hmmm, how does it feel to have total strangers judge you based on one sole Internet encounter? Hmmm?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   Writer, Rejected

    I think Dad’s got a point that you can’t really win on the Internet, but you can have some interesting discussions and maybe a laugh or two.
    Anyhoo, I like the pet sitter, T-ppp, on line #126. Maybe Anony-dad should hire her to watch the kids for a very detailed poop report each and every time?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   T-Bone

    I am addicted to this web site in the worst way. Please help. And do your own goddamn dishes.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   Gwen

    Matty – Passive and I have never been such good friends, but Aggressive and I are very close.

    Anon #90 – hahaha. Very nice. Feel free to (vs) me any time. I stand by what I said.

    Sweet Jane – Oooo ouch! Really, that one hurt. You certainly put me in my place. I’ll be sure to put “Team Who-ever” at the begining of all my posts from now on like a good little fuckwit.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Mary

    Shame on me? Why, because I paid attention in school? Maybe it is because I’m sick of people in this country not taking advantage of the education that EVERYONE is given. I went to public school and had English classes, that’s all.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   Megami

    damn, gwen, that’s mighty hostile.

    This is the internet. It is serious business.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   matty

    Gwen, I think you’ve got a fair point and I can understand why it pisses you off. Just had to reply to it since it jumped off the screen at me!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   Amy

    having done childcare for several years… it’s not that hard to jot down the time when you feed a child or put them down for a nap. a FORM is a little bit much, but a post-it saying the info isn’t that bad of an idea. when you have small children, you need to know when your children eat (if you keep track of it). it also depends on the kids too.. if they have disorders or w/e. team parents. babysitter seems neurotic

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   tweedle

    Hi, Anony-dad,

    I believed from the start that you are probably a decent man, who, like the rest of us, ought *not* be held to a higher standard than is reasonable.

    Your choice to work or stay home is your own; to make an analogy, You have a right to swing your fist (a smart person once told me), but that right ends where another’s nose begins.

    Once you engage with another’s nose, all bets are off.

    And your form request, whether you see it or not, was like a blow to your sitter.

    Please let me explain.

    Again, I think you are quite guileless in your submission of this note for our shared amusement. And even in your request for her to do the form. It’s no huge deal, I agree!

    But in the following excerpt from your last comment is a phrase that –to my mind–
    betrays exactly the problematic thinking on your part that is getting some folks’ (such as my) dander up.

    I don’t want to be snooty-ish, but see if you can figure which sentence I’m referring to:

    “Ask your sitter to write something down: You’re an uber-entitled anal-retentive yuppie lawyer snob who expects the world handed to him on a silver platter.

    Let your sitter do whatever she wants: You’re a distant, neglectful parent who ought to have never spawned children in the first place.

    Welcome to the internet. You can’t win.”

    OK, bratty rhetorical question alert:

    Is the sitter not a grown-up? Seriously, have you chosen a sitter whose behavior you in fact feel entitled to modify?

    LET the sitter…?

    Is she under any compunction to do your will? I mean beyond health and safety and basic well-being– and I’m sorry; your feeding schedule is likely not crucial.

    I’m not questioning your interest in keeping track of your children’s feeding habits or any other such things, but I think you ought to realize that you wanting these does not equal your deserving them. I meeen, Anony-dad:
    do you really think you have some implicit right to allow or disallow behavior on her part? Even if you are paying her, you only get to ask, she gets to do whatever she wants. Grown-up. If you don’t like her choices, you ‘get to’ choose another care-provider.

    I think it’s likely your sitter’s fierce response to you was more about your –yes– entitled mindset than about filling out a simple form.

    I have an older sister who thinks like this, and I am agog regularly at her seemingly hard-wired assumption that adult people owe her the fulfillment of her will.

    It’s a common enough attitude, and one to which those possessing it seem incorrigibly blind.
    And when money is added into the mix, whoa!, the sense of entitlement can be downright freaky-scary.

    You’ve freaked her out, I think. She’s saying ‘back off, Dad; I’ve agreed to work for you, but you are swinging your fist (“let your sitter do whatever she wants. . . “) (?) into my own zone’

    P.S. Very interested in seeing your form!

    And for all my opinions, wishing you well.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 3:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   Tzippy

    Okay, both the parents and the babysitter have good points. I myself am a parent, and whenever I leave my kids with a babysitter for more than 2 hours, I expect a small report. Usually it’s verbal, but if something significant happened, she usually hand writes it on a piece of letter-sized paper. I think it’s too much to ask her to prepare a form every single day, however, for her to write little notes about important things shouldn’t be difficult, even for someone with her education.

    Even better: Make sure that the kids can communicate with the parents. The parents need to stay involved, so why not talk to the kids about what they did that day, what they ate, etc.? Too hard?? I think not, unless the kid is unable to talk, i.e. an infant…..

    Jul 17, 2007 at 4:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   tweedle

    It just occurred to me that I’m commenting on this list in lieu of shelling out the scratch for a shrink.

    Could this be a modern, less insular (in some ways) form of therapy?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   Gwen

    Matty – No worries. I laughed when I saw what you wrote. I may be aggressive, but I do have a sense of humor.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   Gwen

    Megami – Unfortunately, comment boards don’t convey the tone I speak in very well. But you’re right, I’m a hostile bitch. Oh well.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   Sweet Jane

    Gwen, thank you so much for the compliments! But I don’t think you need to put “Team Whoever” at the beginning of all your posts… the middle or the end will surely suffice.

    Team Team!

    See?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #146   Writer, Rejected

    Team team.
    (pardon my echolalia)

    Jul 17, 2007 at 6:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   Simster

    I had no idea people were this concerned with other people’s parenting choices or felt so defensive of their own.
    I have read Anony-Dad’s follow up comments with interest. He and the babysitter resolved the issue and moved on. There is no need to be abusive to either party – you thought Dad or the sitter over reacted? Look at some of these comments -and you don’t even know these people!
    To Anony-Dad – in the end did you resolve to have written feedback or not? On hearing more information from you with explanation of what you were actually asking for and why, I am guessing you did end up with the written information and her initial reaction was just an over-reaction based on misunderstanding what you wanted and why.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 7:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #148   Olivia

    Filling out a form for babysitting IS ridiculous but it sounds like the children are being dropped off at a home daycare. However, I work at a daycare center and feel slightly offended. There IS a lot of paperwork to be filled out but that is not what the parents pay for. Also, more staff/help=less one on one for the children, unfortunately.

    Anyway, it’s a shame that “babysitter” never learned how to spell…

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #149   Olivia

    Oh and I definitely make more money babysitting ;] Tax-free money for the win.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #150   T-Bone

    I don’t have kids and I was not an in-demand babysitter growing up, but I wanted to add my two cents anyway. My sisters and I had a really cool babysitter back in the day. Our parents would escape for a night out together, leaving babysitter Diana to fill our little world with magical, grown-up girl stuff! We made cookies, played tag (although running through the house was verboten), told ghost stories, raided Mom’s makeup drawer, danced to soul music on the radio and jumped up and down on our parents’ bed. We never went to bed on time. We ate ice cream and candy for dinner. It was an orgy of parentless fun! Needless to say, my parents did not get out very often and Diana wasn’t required to babysit us every day, all day, like anony-dad’s babysitter, so our situations are different– but I gotta tell ya, we were okay. We were happy. We had fun. Diana didn’t fill out any forms, but she did a fine job otherwise, because my parents wouldn’t have had her back. I’m sure we probably did barf sometimes after an evening of candy, ice cream and excitement (sorry- I can’t remember barfing because it was about 40 years ago), but we survived nicely. I am sure I’m speaking out of turn due to my childless state so I apologize in advance… but I wish parents today didn’t have to worry so much about their kids’ every move, every emotion, every sniffle, every b.m.! Aren’t kids supposed to be bruised or puke in the car once in awhile?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #151   elizabeththewellread

    Team Babysitter! If those parents care so much, they should have assured themselves of a care-givers education before entrusting the children to her. Seriously, a “form”? How ’bout a “conversation”?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #152   Lady in Red

    The entire third paragraph is disturbing, and not because of her poor grammar and spelling.
    “I can write anything down I want and you wouldn’t know the difference. I will not lie on paper just to make you happy.” So, she’ll lie to your face, she just doesn’t want to write it down? What isn’t she telling you about what goes on with your kids when you’re not there? I understand her being upset about the added task of filling out the form, but that doesn’t really seem to be what she’s protesting here (in that paragraph.) There’s no way in Hell I’d take my kids back there.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #153   Lindsay

    Team Gwen ftw!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 4:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #154   tweedle

    “I have read Anony-Dad’s follow up comments with interest. He and the babysitter resolved the issue and moved on. There is no need to be abusive to either party – you thought Dad or the sitter over reacted? Look at some of these comments -and you don’t even know these people!”

    Hi, Simster,

    You are right, I think, in a way — that much gets made of little in this comments thread. But I also think that is the nature of human interaction between regular folk. We are complicated and our methods of expressing ourselves are sometimes unequal to the task of fostering anything like immediate, complete sympathy between us.

    that’s why we hash it out like so.

    y’know?

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #155   Sophie

    The parents may be a bit annoying but her note is unbelievably rude.

    I’d fire the bitch!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #156   Jane Doe

    Team Babysitter,

    What an obnoxious, pretentious, pompous father. Of COURSE she doesn’t want to fill in a daily log of what your child does every single day!?!

    If you want that kind of service, then PAY for it…get yourself to a nanny service!

    Team Babysitter ALL the way!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 9:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #157   Miss Jackson

    Actually, what’s unbelievably rude is posting a non-public note to a public place for people to ridicule it, then having the gall to say the situation has been “worked out.”

    Regardless of whether she filled out the form, or even of whether asking her to fill out the form is reasonable, putting the note up here is a huge sign of disrespect. “You’re good enough to change my kid’s diaper, but I don’t really value your service or you as a human being, so I’m going to submit this note to a website for the amusement of strangers.”

    I am not a total stick in the mud — I enjoy this site as much as anyone else. But generally, the notes that are posted originate with coworkers we hate, roommates we don’t care about, etc… NOT people who are tasked with the ongoing responsibility of providing daily care to our children.

    If this one (true) act of passive-aggressiveness is indicative of his (apparently subconscious) interactions with the babysitter, no wonder she flew off the handle.

    Finally, for those who believe that spelling and grammar skills should be prerequisites for changing diapers, I’d like to offer my services. I only charge $25 an hour. Rescue me from my corporate job today and I’ll throw in a free box of Huggies!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 10:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #158   Gwen

    Sweet Jane – Your Passive Aggressiveness is dually noted. Thanks very much.

    Lindsay – Thanks for the support. But you’ll have to excuse me, I think there’s a bucket I have to go be sick in to.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #159   Your Mom

    Even though it means adding one more comment to this boring-ass litany, I have to say, people who hire other people can ask them to do stuff. And people who work for other people can refuse to do stuff. If any terms of the arrangement are not mutually agreeable, either side can end it. Simple. Nobody’s in the right or wrong, which is why trying to read through all these kneejerk armchair moral judgments (and snippy, petty arguments about them) is very tedious. 160 and still counting, telling me where each and every reader stands… OH YEAH I WAS REALLY WONDERING. And yes, the “team” shit is lame, and typical of Bush’s America where you’re “with us or against us” and you’re encouraged to make this same type of simplistic judgment about others. It’s infantile. Seems like you’re all just trying to help Team George root out the evildoers. Go get ‘em, Junior War Criminals Club!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 2:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #160   Sweet Jane

    Gwen, see, we’re really on the same team! And I mean that sincerely, actually. I even put a little “t” just to stray from the convention, just for you.

    Your Mom, I’m not sure if I understood you. All I heard was “Hello, Kettle, my name is Pot, and I am black.” Simplistic judgment indeed!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 3:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #161   Sweet Jane

    HAHAHAHA I meant “Hello Kettle, my name is Pot, and you are Black.” I butchered that one.

    Team Farts for Brains!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 3:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #162   SilverNeurotic

    Glad that she’s not a teacher.

    And honestly, it doesn’t take very long to write a quick note about how the kids did that day…five minutes at the VERY most. Unless the kids are really bad.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 3:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #163   Potbelly

    161…Yes. This is all about George Bush. He came up with the concept of taking sides in a silly debate.

    The internet is where people anonymously spout off opinions and argue about them, luring still more who jump in to try to shame them for doing it. At least it proves we’re all the same.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #164   Give me a break

    To 161, take a chill pill, please. Everything has its time and place. If what you are looking is deep and meaningful discussion on what can be done to wipe away all the ills of the world, then this is not the place to come.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 6:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #165   Jill

    Sounds like Babysitter needs to take a vacation…she is clearly frazzled from chasing after rugrats all day long, which explains why she was so quick to fly off the handle at Dad’s innocent request.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 11:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #166   Your Mom

    I’m not looking for any such thing, but thanks for recognizing that I am deep and meaningful. I think what I’m saying is, this site is lame. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you kids any more.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #167   Goldie

    I love it how this post’s comments section has taken on a life of its own. So it was all about George, all along?… thanks, I needed the laugh.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #168   Sair

    Hmm, I wonder why anyone would ‘waste’ their time reading 160-odd posts on a clearly just-for-a-bit-of-a-giggle website then let off such a barrage of vitriol, Your Mom? It’s like those people who complain about swearing on TV programmes after 9pm where the introduction includes the words ‘This programme contains swearing, which some viewers may find offensive”. Why are you bothering to tell everyone this site is lame when you could just *not bother reading it if you don’t find it amusing*?! Sorry, way off topic from the original note I know, but I really wish people like Your Mom would leave the rest of us happy jolly types to enjoy ourselves in peace. Anyone else suspecting a big old dose of PMS there?

    Team Not Your Mom. Oh, and Team P.A.N. website, I love it and the stupid-ass comments brighten my day. I thank you all.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #169   tweedle

    Team Sair it is.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #170   Andy

    Stupid-ass comments?

    We get lessons in morality, grammar, spelling, ummmm…. spelling, grammar…

    I’ve lernd spelin rite goodly, thanx to this ste.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 1:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #171   hugh

    team babysitter.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #172   Writer, Rejected

    Team 161 is a dumb.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #173   Gregory

    Yeah, wow, this anony-dad is an obnoxious, officious, bureaucratic prick. I can’t imagine what kind of pretensious yuppie lawyer jerk would make the request to “fill out a small form” for bloody babysitting.

    People take themselves far too seriously. This guy definitely does.

    Which leads me to comment – I LOVE the truly passive-aggressive notes on this site, but am I the only one who thinks may of the noted shown are pretty reasonable responses to stupid situations? Sometimes it’s just better to show people how silly they are being by putting it in writing.

    I find myself more and more often agreeing with the notes and not with the jerks who post them with some indignant remarks about how wrong the notes are.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #174   edicius

    I once I saw the word “children” misspelled more than once in the letter, I jumped ship to Team Anony-Dad. I just keep hearing this babysitter in my head over and over again pronouncing it “childern” and it makes my skin crawl.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 4:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #175   tweedle

    Hi, I’m tweedle, and I’m a stupid-ass

    commenter.

    But wait — I don’t want to reform!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #176   TO ANONYDAD

    I’m a single mother, with a full time career and I still manage to raise my child without forgetting when she last ate before I get in the car.

    I think your sitter is right- if you want to micro-manage, go to a daycare and watch your kid get sick over and over again because most of those places are germ banks. If you care anything about the welfare of your child, you need to recognize when you’ve found a great caregiver for your child and just buck up and come up with a system on your own- as in: when you pick your child up, ASK the last time he/she ate- and if you forget guess what? the kid will let you know he/she is hungry! I’ve never heard of a caring parent allowing a child to starve.

    If you truly forget before you even get to your car- perhaps you should pay attention or better yet, don’t park a mile away. But again, the kid will let you know he/she is hungry. Maybe pay attention to the cries, you’ll learn to identify them rather quickly if you pay attention. I never let my daughter starve and sometimes I’d lose track of time if we were doing something and guess what? She’d let me know by basic signals she was hungry. At one years old, they should know the basics. you can always assume they always eat lunch at 1130- snack at 3pm and dinner should be around 530 or 600. Why don’t you create a system instead of letting the schedule guide you?

    You said: I don’t want them to stay with the sitter all day. But short of winning the lottery I don’t have much other choice.

    I say: welcome to the world of working parents- we all feel this way. Most of us anyways.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #177   fskj;kl

    THE BABYSITTER IS AN UNEDUCATED FUCKWIT. IF THE DAD TAKES HIS KIDS BACK AFTER THAT NOTE HE IS A FUCKWIT TOO.

    AND ALL THE COMMENTERS HERE ARE FUCKWITS WITH THEIR LITTLE CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN EACH OTHER.

    DONT ANY OF YOU HAVE LIVES?

    Jul 20, 2007 at 12:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #178   Potbelly

    Hahahahaha this is great can you believe the internet is however old it is now and there are STILL tards out there who seek out humorous waste-time-at-work websites, read them, sign in and type that those whose writing they just read need to “get a life”.

    Thanks for kickin’ it old skool, Trollkinz.

    Jul 20, 2007 at 10:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #179   Alexis

    OK– I’m a teacher. 5 minutes to write a note becomes a lot more when there are multiple kids. One parent sees you writing a note, and then they want a note, too. Also, writing notes while watching little kids can be difficult. Besides all of that, this woman obviously felt insulted by the way she was asked to do this.

    Jul 20, 2007 at 4:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #180   mel

    Went to the park at 3.

    Had dinner at 6:30.

    Shelly complained of a headache around 8.

    Is it really that hard to jot a couple things down?

    It’s a bit weird to ask a sitter to write a synopsis of the day’s activities… but as a former sitter, I know that when the parents asked what we did all day, sometimes I had a hard time thinking of everything, as I was just thinking about going home. If I’d been asked to jot down what we did and at what time, I wouldn’t have taken it as an insult, rather a simple request that would help the parent know what still needed to be done. Hell, I’ve often wished that the parent had left ME a note telling me what had already been done, and what still needed to be done.

    Odd request, I suppose… but the babysitter completely overreacted.

    Jul 21, 2007 at 1:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #181   mel

    For what it’s worth, I’m both a former babysitter AND a parent. I’ve yet to leave my child in the care of a babysitter and therefore don’t know how much information I’d expect (written or otherwise) when I got home. Fortunately, I don’t intend to have that problem… ever.

    Jul 21, 2007 at 1:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #182   Katherine

    People who call this man an “obnoxious, officious, bureaucratic prick” should perhaps read Anon-Dad’s responses in this forum.

    People who don’t like the types of notes here on PAN should, perhaps, not visit PAN.

    Jul 21, 2007 at 8:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #183   ordinarygirl

    I think that if the parents had stated up front that this is how they wanted it done, then the babysitter would have been able to say either “no, not my bag” or “yeah, sure, whatever”. As it is, he’s already brought kids, toys, and expected income to her house, and now he’s *starting* to change the rules, without any potential compensation for her. Sure, it’s not asking for much, but where does the point come when it *is* too much? If he’s asking for this kind of thing after only a few weeks to make his time more efficient, what’s he going to do to make hers? While yes, there are valid comments mentioning naptime, it’s entirely possible that she has worked out naptime as being “her” time, and priced accordingly – she mentions that he is not paying daycare prices. Looking after young kids can be exhausting. I think the dad should have been more upfront IN THE BEGINNING about exactly how detailed a report he wants, and she could have been a bit calmer about it. It’s entirely possible that she percieved the situation as “if you don’t do this, then i’m taking my kids and going home” – which, if you’re babysitting, chances are you’re depending on that income.

    Jul 21, 2007 at 11:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #184   Sabra

    Team Babysitter, even after reading the clarifications. I work outside the home from time to time, and believe me I’m smart enough to realize when my kids are coming down with something, and if my 18-month-old is hungry I–wait for it, folks–feed her as opposed to saying “Sorry, sweetie, you have to be hungry for the next two hours or you’ll ruin your schedule.”

    Jul 21, 2007 at 10:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #185   Amie

    Team Dad all the way….

    When my oldest son was born, I was given a gift from a friend. This gift was a two sided notepad that had two different “forms” included. One was a request and information list for the babysitter and the other was a form similar to what was requested of the sitter. There was even a magnet for the sitter to place her form on the fridge.

    Our sitters and us found these valuable tools. None ever complained. I have cared for many children in my home. Often I watched more than one at a time. If a parent were to ask me some of these questions, it would have been difficult to recall exactly what each child ate when.

    It takes about 2 seconds to jot notes on a form. I don’t believe this is an unreasonable request, and neither do the sitters we use. It takes the pressure off them from having to remember ever detail.

    And if they are selling these notepads in stores, obviously there are enough people out there who would like to use them for it not to be a totally silly idea.

    Part of caring for a child is making sure that parents have all of the information needed to continue to care for them after they leave your home and memory is often unreliable.

    Jul 22, 2007 at 5:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #186   oh my stars

    I’ve worked with kids for ten years. I’ve worked as a full-time nanny. I’ve had unreasonable requests. (ie, be bubbly at all times, including when you’re overheated, exhausted, and have been shat on.) A form that takes thirty seconds is reasonable. Unless the form is multiple pages and requires information on every detail of the day, I would keep up with it as well as I could.
    How do we, the internets, know why dad really wanted the form? Maybe one of the kids gets sick a lot, or has feeding issues. Maybe they just get cranky if they miss a nap or get their morning snack too late.
    It’s much easier to write down “Bobby slept through the morning snack, and was cranky until lunchtime. Jenny has had four poopy diapers today.” than to remember exactly what happened six hours earlier, and it helps the sitter/nanny AND the parents keep track of things like feeding, diapers, naps, etc. Knowing what the sitter and the parents have habits of doing (and keeping a record) makes it easier if you want to try changing something.
    Think about it, would it be easier for dad to suggest an earlier nap or later snack if he knows what’s been happening, or to ask why the kids are so cranky in the evenings when he picks them up?

    Jul 22, 2007 at 7:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #187   Will

    Team Babysitter.

    Parents, take time to talk to your kids and the babysitter.

    This seems like a father who seems to have little time for his children. Who wants an emotionless report that can easily be fabricated? A verbal conversation conveys much more than simple text. Get to know who is raising your kids, it is your duty to them.

    For those who complain about the babysitter’s grammar… proof read your reply first.

    Jul 22, 2007 at 9:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #188   WhatLadder

    I am on team parents because I suspect that the “form” may have come up because they asked for a note, and it didn’t provide the requisite info. Also, if the babysitter is in a hurry to leave every day (and this one sounds like she’d resent being asked to stay a minute to give an update), maybe the idea of the form is for her to check things off when she has a minute?
    I know parents can be dicks, but this note suggests the babysitter has some issues.

    Jul 22, 2007 at 10:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #189   Hayley

    ha ha i think you’s are all a bit sad, like it’s just a bit of fun, well for us anyway, not like it’s a big argument type thing… he he i thought it was funny anyway

    Jul 23, 2007 at 8:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #190   tim from Radio Clash

    I love the passive aggressive way people corrected the spelling on Flickr….:-P

    Jul 24, 2007 at 9:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #191   wee1

    Ok, I am not going to assume that the sitter finds writing troublesome, because there is no reason to believe so, but just play with the thought that she does. Just toy with the idea, that this obviously dedicated person has not obtained training as preschool teacher due to dyslexia, and insecurities that follow from that. Keep toying with the idea that tending children is something said personis good at, and takes pride in, and that one reason she is good is because she is completely dedicated to the kids, all the time they spend with her. The filling out of forms _does_ belong in daycare. Even with the form explained, I still think it is unreasonable to expect daycare service from a sitter. The reason things are written down in daycare is because the person who noted it, is not always the person handing your child over to you in the afternoon, and because many kids = lots to remember.

    Your sitter does not have alzheimers, she is not a mute. But she _may_ find it uncomfortable to feel that she needs to write you reports. She may be embarrased about her spelling – and people, beinga bad speller does not make you a bad carer, no matter what the entitled a$$hats on this board thinks.

    This all reeks of privilege, entitlement and lack of empathy. The woman is not a slave, and she is obviously not paid near enough for the anony-dad to expect gold service. If she cares for more children and the other parents start demanding notes as well, she will soon be up to her armpits in paperwork. And to people who feel she should find time to write reports when kids are napping or eating. Yeah, because this woman obviously does not need any time for a breather or eating during a long working day. All other workers in the world are allowed breaks and lunch, just not her.

    You seriously disgust me.

    Dad – you have entitlement issues. She is _way_ more mature giving you the chance of an out, for the sake of your kids, whom she obviously cares for. You just hope she does not find out you posted this on the internets. Seriously? How lame are you?

    Anyone defending this entitled, overprivileged piece of human… things… is showing a shocking lack of understanding.

    Jul 25, 2007 at 5:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #192   DWF

    When I worked in daycare throughout high school and college, I had more education and better spelling skills than 98% of the people who worked there. Occasionally a worker would leave a note for a parent and some were so horribly spelled that I would take them to the owner and she would tell me to just throw them out rather than risk the embarrassment (they weren’t that important). Daycare pays crap and that’s unfortunate.

    Jul 25, 2007 at 8:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #193   Office GermWarfare Warrior

    @ TEAM READ THE FRIGGING NOTES FIRST
    Pot meet kettle

    TEAM READING THE FRIGGING RESPONSE COMMENT FROM ANON DAD

    Jul 25, 2007 at 1:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #194   Sassy

    Hee! I love the people who are saying she could use naptime to fill out the forms or that she deserves a breather…

    Sillies – naptime is when you do the dishes from lunch, pick up all the toys, get things ready for snack later on, set up the diaper change for when they wake up, get afternoon projects or activities all set up, and keep your fingers crossed the whole time that they stay asleep long enough for you to DO THAT!

    I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for three specific pieces of information to be jotted down, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the babysitter to decline either. I agree with the people who say if he wants day care services, he should pay daycare prices.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 10:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #195   neminem

    I’m on team “they both suck”. I think it’s pretty ridiculous to have the babysitter fill out a form, every day, instead of just telling you if something went wrong. At the same time, that was a pretty ridiculous response. There are much better ways to respond, even by letter.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 2:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #196   m

    Team Parents.
    It’s not too much to ask that she fills out a short piece of paper stating how the children did throughout the day. If she had a problem with it, it’s called telling the father that she does and why. From the sounds of it, the children are babies since they have to be “changed”, so what is she doing during their 1-2 daily naptimes?

    Although I guess if I couldn’t spell or use proper grammar, I wouldn’t want to fill out a simple piece of paper, either.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #197   Kay

    If this little form is so innocent, where is it ? It seems only fair, after the passive aggressive act of posting her letter here, that we see what provoked it. How was this presented to her ?

    Having been an editor and writing tutor, I say you can’t tell much about someone from spelling /grammar mistakes, not about IQ, or education, and certainly not how well they’re going to care for your kids, but it you are a parent and it’s important that the person model such things to perfection, that’s your choice.

    So, let’s see, first the spermdonor can’t remember what the sitter tells him (try memory training), then it becomes too onerous for him even to continue to write it down, so he thinks it would be easier – for him – if she writes a summary, one that requires a form, which he says he’ll post but I’m not seeing. Instead of discussing this problem with her, he (and his wife ?) figure out it would be better for her to do something for him, for which he no longer wants responsibility, and makes up some forms and hands them to her. Way to treat her disrespectfully. She’s not a 15yr old babysitter, she’s your equal.

    The story goes from the mysterious form, to a short summary, to 3 questions. Let’s look at those, shall we ?

    Needs to know when 1yr old last ate, because it’s on an every-4-hour schedule. If so, you should know when it ate, right ? On schedule, whenever that was. Or maybe this is one of the sources of conflict; maybe she’s not feeding it on your schedule because your sitter, like me, thinks that it’s an insane concept. Children of that age s/b fed when hungry. Unless there is some medical contraindication. Small children’s caloric needs vary frequently, depending on what kind of growth is going on at any given time, level of activity, etc. And 4 hours can be too long.

    Next: You need to know how the 3yr old behaves because he likes to push his limits, like all 3yr olds. Anyone here have any idea what useful purpose he’s supposed to be chasing here ? Do you give her a report of how many times he says “no” while he’s at home ? What behavior needs charting ? And what do you do propose to do with the information ?

    Last: hyberole/red herring that she needs to write down if one got snakebit – if she doesn’t tell you about obvious signs of illness or about injury, you should find new care, obviously.

    I just think we aren’t getting the full picture, and I’m supposing, with no more information, that maybe Mom thinks Dad should be managing to come home with any pertinent info, and he wants to dump that responsibility on the next nearest woman, the hired help. And further, that he/they think the sitter isn’t feeding to schedule ( I wouldn’t ) and therefore her reference to having to lie. Pure supposition.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 10:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #198   TEAM LMAO

    I love how ppl *couYOURMOMgh* come on sites, read comments 1-160, then comment saying they dont care, COME BACK and comment on the comments after her previous post (meaning she read some MORE) and THEN say the site is stupid. lmao so then why’d u come back 2wice beyotch lmao

    ne whoo. Why the hubbub? He asked for 3 main peices of information. She blew up in a plaid and spam riddled hill billy overreaction. The End. Listen Anony-Dad, ur right [period]

    lmao @ 147/148 by the way

    TEAM ANONY-DAD
    TEAM TEAMS FOR TEAMS SAKE
    TEAM GWEN… nah i’m lying
    TEAM YOUR MOM.. sorry, did it again.
    TEAM CAPS
    TEAM WHY AM I ON SO MANY TEAMS
    Tean vote for me on American Idol ’07!

    Aug 1, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #199   TEAM LMAO

    P.S.

    TEAM ps this site ROX!

    Aug 1, 2007 at 1:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #200   Hester

    I’m a nanny (in St. Louis, none the less.)

    I don’t mind filling out paperwork, in fact, the family I work for doesn’t demand it, but I send emails with updates anyway. I take pictures of the kid so the parents can see what their child has done during the day. I don’t always have time for this; but I do my best to make time. Being helpful, cooperative, and literate is a part of the job, and I take pride in doing it well.

    Babysitters/nannies often forget that their attitude about things is one of the most important aspects of the job. The kids see you and follow your lead. What kind of message are you sending by this negativity and nit-picking?

    Different families have different needs. So long as the demand is reasonable, do your best to fill it. You’ll benefit by keeping your job and keeping the peace.

    Aug 1, 2007 at 5:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #201   Mishee

    “WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN, OH GOD, WHO’S THINKING OF THE CHILDREN???”

    Just so you know, this made me laugh OUT LOUD. But anyways, I used to babysit two kids where the parents had the same request (I had to log in all diaper changes, food given, naps taken) and I was only 15! It DID take away from my time with the kids and sometimes those 5 minutes to fill it out led to the toddler getting into something she should’nt have and the baby would start screaming – so I guess I am on Team Babysitter cause it IS kind of a ridiculous request. BUT, on the other hand, I feel that anony-dad had a point in asking because nowadays you don’t know what the heck is happening to your kid when you leave them with ANYONE (even relatives!) and just like KW stated ” (Dude, they don’t even come with a warranty. You have to be careful not to break them.)” so maybe I guess I am on Team Torn Between the Two!

    Aug 3, 2007 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #202   ema

    I think the form is short and perfectly reasonable. There are plenty of times I forget about something until much later and writing down a quick note can save a lot of time. For example, little johnny is playing and falls down. He cries briefly but goes back to playing. The next day a lovely bruise appears. Kids do that stuff all the time and just jotting down a quick “johnny fell today, but seems ok (no cuts)” could save a lot of worrying when that bruise shows up.

    On a somewhat related note, my friend had a dog sitter who would leave long journal entries about what their dog did while my friend was at work. It seems silly to some, but to others (esp those who treat their dogs like children) it made them feel better. I can only imagine that any good parent would want to know what happened to their “child” while they were at work :)

    Aug 6, 2007 at 1:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #203   Sea Hag

    I’m on Team Birth Control!

    Aug 11, 2007 at 9:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #204   Chelle

    Definitely Team Dad here. Oh, wow, the parents want a short report on their kids each day, and for some reason, you’re not making a verbal one? Cry me a *river*.

    Aug 24, 2007 at 1:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #205   Tam Pietres

    Sea Hag, I join you on Team Birth Control! Geeeeez what is the point of CHILDERN anyway? There are plenty already and all they want is your money and for you to drive them somewhere. Who cares what they do at the babysitter? It does not matter. Assuage your guilt about being bad parents some other way besides pestering the nanny. Or just accept it and laugh.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 11:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #206   RP

    It’s impossible to know which team to be on without knowing:
    1) Why the parents requested the use of the form
    2) Whether they explained why to the babysitter
    3) How long is the form

    If the kid has started getting sick or having allergic reactions this could be the parents trying to figure out why it’s happening.

    The babysitter, however, may not have time for daily paperwork if she is watching many kids. The “lying” bit is suspect though. You never tell someone, “I could lie and you wouldn’t know”.

    It really hinges on number 2. If they discussed using the form, the babysitter should have said something then. If the parents just sent the form with the kid it’s no wonder the babysitter thought it was insulting and/or crazy and decided to send the note instead of speaking to them

    Aug 29, 2007 at 1:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #207   alix

    I resent people who accuse everyone on team-babysitter of being a bad baby-sitter. I’ve worked as a sitter and at a tutoring center, and I am so on team-babysitter. The dad sounds like an anal control freak, if he was really a responsible parent he would talk to the sitter. What is boils down to is: if you want day care center style care, pay for a daycare center! If you have concerns about the way your children are being cared for, confront the sitter about it or take your kids elsewhere!
    Parents these days tend to be obnoxious and uptight, and that comes not from me, but from my two sisters who have small kids.

    Nov 16, 2007 at 6:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #208   bcteagirl

    I see he never did come back with the form did he… I think that says it all frankly ;)

    Dec 2, 2007 at 4:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #209   Ashley

    Give me a F*cking break….. a form? If you feel that a form in neccesary for communication between you and your babysitter. Get another d*mn babysitter! What is wrong with verbal communication? If the child(children)seemed to be getting sick or accidently hurt themselves or what ever your babysitter should let you know immediately. If she/he does not then they are not suitable for child care. Get a new baby sitter and quit being so f*ckin controling. If you cant go with out a play by play on your childs activities or the lack there of then stay at home with them.
    These are the type of people who video tape everything in their home anyway…. why not just watch the tape?

    Jan 9, 2008 at 3:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #210   Erin

    Team babysitter, I mean sure she can’t spell worth shit, but while she’s in the kitchen with her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth trying to calculate the exact time of junior’s last diaper change his sibling could be floating face down in a duck pond.

    Jan 29, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #211   Wes B.

    I don’t place the blame on the baby sitter I place it on the Parents, sounds like they need to do a little more parenting instead of reading a Summary of the days event.

    Sounds to me like he’s a Sorry parent!!

    Apr 10, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #212   Karey

    Filling out a form that mostly says the same thing every day is crazy. Its just nuts. Its an unbelievable amount of busywork after a couple weeks even, it doesn’t increase efficiency by any stretch. Wanting a form for every babysitting session is some majorly OCD weirdness. But what the note writer said about writing lies is beyond weird too, I wouldn’t trust her at all after that. If you can lie on paper you can lie verbally too, you know? Whats her point exactly? That she’s a lying crazyperson?

    Jul 1, 2008 at 8:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #213   elise

    I am sooooo on team babysitter – why can’t he ask her? if they were sick its probably something she would mention anyway!
    i think he wants to set up some kind of elaborate marking system – control anyone?!?!

    Jul 23, 2008 at 10:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #214   Hayley

    TEAM BABYSITTER!

    Team anony-dad, you suck butt. Who would ask a child minder to fill this out? It’s like a report card on the kids. If you wanted to know if your children were getting sick, ASK! What was the last thing my child ate? FOOD, BITCH! Fuck, how hard is it to ask the babysitter?

    Jul 31, 2008 at 7:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #215   LaughterRX bang

    I feel as though the babysitter is upset about the paperwork due to her edjumacation skills. Let’s hope she can speak better than spell, for the children’s sake. How else do you communicate to the child to put down the draino and it’s not a slushie?

    And to the parents: How hard is it to ASK the babysitter what your kid/s ate and at what time? I understand it’s not asking for much but is the paperwork necessary? Maybe she’s a tree-hugger.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 3:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #216   Veebabe

    Huh, who would have thought I’d decide to write here?
    Education level has nothing to do with ability to take care of kids.
    IQ, spelling and grammar are not dependent on each other. Hell, if I recall right, teachers said Einstien was stupid and wouldn’t amount to much!
    My IQ is near mensa level- and you know what? I have dyslexia, and due to brain injury, I don’t always spell things right and my grammar can be terrible. I also help at a daycare, up to and including teaching informal preschool- which was very successful and parents still ask when I can return. (I’m out due to surgery).
    So, lay off the babysitter for her lack of spelling skills and grammar- her lack in that area don’t make her a bad person.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 1:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #217   Suzi

    Team Dad for sure!
    I wouldn’t want y kids learning to communicate in that manner! Yeah, he asked for too much, but there was a much better way to handle it. Not only that but she acted suspious to me. I think she may have protested too much. And the grammar and spelling is a problem for me. This is a professional relationship. I have grammar problems as well, but before I turn things in, I ask for a look over often. She obviously does not care about how she appears to them.
    The continous justification as to why she refuses to provide the same env’t as a daycare was akso weird. Altogether she seems like a bitch. He was wrong, but she was insane. Over reaction.

    Nov 22, 2008 at 11:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #218   Tech Guy

    This is exactly why parents and babysitters need a written contract – whether it is a daycare setting, or not. Contracts spell out in a very efficient manner what is expected by both parties BEFORE the children go under the babysitter’s care.

    Nov 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #219   newzzun bang

    I’m with the babysitter. What the hell is wrong with getting a verbal run-down of the meals, activities, accidents, without requiring your overworked babysitter to write a novel about the kid???

    Those parents are presumptuous and anal, and clearly should find another babysitter or daycare if they need daily reports on Junior’s food intake.

    Also, plenty of EDUCATED people mix up “their”, “there” and “they’re” – no reflection on their overall intelligence.

    Jan 3, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #220   wanna touch the baby?

    [...] related: this is all about the childern [...]

    Apr 6, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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