Cubicle etiquette

July 17th, 2007 · 103 comments

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

Cubicle Etiquette

PRIVACY

"SMELLS"

"NOISE"

SIGHTS

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"


103 responses so far ↓

  • #1   The Fresh Cracker

    My favorite HAS to be the “smells” one.

    Keep your shoes on!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 7:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Goldie

    Under “Smells”, they covered shoes and perfume, but what about the farts, the smelly ethnic foods, and the smelly ethnic foods that make their owner fart? I’ve found all these to be a serious problem for cubicle-dwellers.
    The last one kinda conflicts with the “privacy” one. If it’s my area, then what do you care if my posters are funny to you or not? Especially if you’re not allowed to “glance in my cubicle as you walk by”.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 7:59 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   LaughterRX bang

      I totally agree with you there. This reminds me of the Drew Carey Show episode with the offensive picture he hangs in his office space.

      Am I the only one that watched that show?

      Maybe I was so attached because my grandmother wore make-up like Mimi.
      RIP Grandmama.

      Aug 12, 2008 at 3:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Chris

      I agree I think those notes are racist!

      Jan 10, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Potbelly

    Yes “Smells” really wins. I have encountered disturbing foot odor from a Teva-wearing dude at work…NOT COOL. Stank breath is also no picnic and can totally fill a room.

    Stellar set of notes, overall.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   e

    The funny part is this person probably works in a really tame office that doesn’t really have any real issues, but this person is the cublicle cop. Ugh, I hate those signs.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Cora

    The privacy one gets me. Methinks somebody doesn’t want his/her coworkers to know s/he’s looking at porn on company time.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Writer, Rejected

    I feel oppressed. I mean, Can’t I even sneak a tiny peek at your Eleanor Roosevelt poster or the framed desk photographs of your sweet new hottie? How can just looking into your “space” is out of bounds? Are you policing it? I mean, what if I don’t move my head, but just pass my eyes over your desk to see what your screensaver says? Not even a quickie on my way to water cooler? Would that be okay?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Andy

    See, the thing is that signs like this never work on the people they’re intended for. For example, stank-foot-dude would never think his particular aroma is offensive, so he’d just go on wilting the flowers as he walked by, Pepe Le’ Pew-style.

    I love the people who feel the need to marinate in perfume, cologne, etc. I always envision them with a 55 gallon drum with a pump, getting under it, and giving two or three squirts of the noxious liquid, then giving two more squirts for good measure.

    Anyhoo, I’ve said it before, but signs like this encourage me to behave contrary to the sign, just because they annoy me. I’m such an asshole sometimes, but I amuse myself, so I am okay with it.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Writer, Rejected

    Sorry for all the typos in my previous post (#6). Some jerk kept sticking his nose over my cubicle wall, and it made me nervous.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Elaina

    seriously though…about smells… when people eat Tuna at their desk– I gag. it’s a reflex…can’t help it… or if they leave burger wrappers filled with onions in their trash can and that smell creeps around their cubed walls…. gross! I personally am an inhabitant of a cubicle colony at work and stuff like that just pisses me off. the signs dont help on that persons cube… it needs to be on public display, but don’t worry no one will give a care about them anyways. LOL

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Marnie

    Oooh, I love both the privacy and the sights posters. They both start imposing a level of control that none of we peons need to be concerning ourselves with. I can understand the aroma and noise, we’ve all had issues like that, but people can’t help but look around them when they walk and, unless something is blatantly offensive, how someone organizes (or not) their cube is for them and their manager to worry about.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Sweet Jane

    I read Elaina’s post and thought, “MMMM TUNA!” and went and made myself a sandwich.

    But I am at home.

    MMMMM TUNA!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Heather

    Good thing we have such tireless people policing our workspaces, no?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Vampira

    Your cubicle is yours and private, but please don’t do anything private in your cubicle.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:50 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Stating the Obvious

    I like the various spellings of “neighbor” within the same sign. That person sure has some edjumacation.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   jules

    OMG, I thought for a minute I was watching an episode of “The Office” and Dwight was on a rampage.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 9:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Deb

    “Remember, not everyone shares your sense of humor.”

    My favorite. :)

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Tarn

    Love these!
    Of course trying to control what people glance at in passing is OTT. Ditto, the expression of a cubicle-dweller’s sense of humour. If you don’t find my postcards funny, don’t look. Gotta agree about bad smells though. And how about loud personal calls? It’s all very well telling people not to listen in, but sometimes there’s no help for it!
    I guess cubicle dwelling is like apartment dwelling but with even less privacy….. and hell IS other people, after all…

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Jacinda

    Jules, that is SO a Dwight thing to do, you’re right! LoL!

    I HATE when people do this. It’s clearly the WRITER’S feelings trying to be imposed on others. You can’t GLANCE in someone’s cubicle now? Hell, Istick half my body into someone’s cube if I’m looking for them.

    I understand where the writer is coming from, but to put up signs is just stupid. It’s almost an insult, as if her co-workers WOULDN’T know all of these things without her putting up notices. Sorry, but we’re all guilty of cube crimes. Live and let live, Cube Nazi!

    TEAM CUBE CRIMES!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   will

    I was just about to have a gab session too.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Trev

    I must say, team tuna seems to be winning my vote.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Tyche

    I can’t help but wonder if all the cubicle-policing is detracting from the cubicle-cop’s real job. I hope they’re not in charge of anything too important!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   BoggyWoggy

    One time my mother complained to me, “There’s this woman in the cubicle next to me who talks constantly and loudly, so that everyone can hear! I think she’s mentally ill. Tomorrow I’m going to tell her to shut-up, since no one cares.”
    The next day, she overheard a conversation about the woman while in the staff room. Apparently, this was her first job in several years. She’d just been released from a mental treatment facility. 4 years earlier she’d had a breakdown after HER 5 CHILDREN WERE KILLED BY A BABYSITTER! THE SITTER HAD SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE!
    Thank goodness Mom hadn’t gotten to her yet.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:36 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Lisa

    The “SMELLS” one is the best. “What may smell good to you may be pungent to someone else.”

    Yes, the reason people take off their shoes is because they think their feet smell good.

    Eau de Shoeless Foot, by Stetson.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:43 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Goldie

    I got one – how about people who have their phone on speaker all the time for no good reason? Especially when they’re checking their voice mail? These should be repeatedly slapped in the face by their cube neighbors’ stinky socks. I can’t believe she missed that whole category.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 10:49 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Jojo dancer

    I am a cube dweller also and am glad I don’t have to deal with anyone like this!

    Haven’t smelled anything pungent around here yet, but I might just start taking off my shoes. Used to work with someone who used to do that, but I never tried to smell her feet.

    The privacy bits really made me laugh though! Some people might think it’s rude if you don’t look in and say hello. I always think that if I’m doing something I don’t want others to see, I probably should go do it in the bathroom. :-D

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   ginger

    man alive. chill. lol

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   anonymouscoworker

    The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Marissa

    “Remember, not everyone shares your sense of humor.”

    Stewie: That coffee mug that you have on your desk… It says ‘life’s a beach’? Umm, that’s dangerously close to the word ‘bitch’, isn’t it?

    Brian: Uhh, yeah. That’s the joke.

    Stewie: Oh, absolutely! And nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie! And you know, between you and me, I think it’s a stitch, but some of the other employees found it offensive.

    Brian: Who else works here?

    Stewie: FUCK YOU! THAT’S WHO WORKS HERE!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:28 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   jules

    And here’s one for you, Jacinda, with half your body in the cube! (tee-heee)

    “Please only insert your head and one shoulder in the cube when looking for someone. 5 seconds should be sufficient when searching for someone in a cube. Do not insert your chestal area. Especially, do not lean in. This could constitute harassment, if I have to see any cleavage, intended or not. After 5 seconds, please quickly and efficiently remove your head and shoulder and be on your way, keeping eyes forward at all times. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.”

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Vampira

    Goldie: I don’t work in a cubicle but in an office where one woman feels the need to let all of us know everyone who calls her via her messages over the speaker. It never fails… And she was just out for a week! :(

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Princess

    Is there any chance that these notes were not written by a woman? I have yet to run across a man that would do something like this

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Writer, Rejected

    Once a long time ago, when I worked in a cubicle, this weird guy named Frank, who was about 50 yeras old and whose mother had recently died, would sometimes lie down under my desk. I’d come back from a meeting or lunch, and he’d be there, unapologetically.

    And I’d say, “Um, Frank, you have to leave now.” And he would get up and leave without saying anything. Now, while I don’t support overly strict cubicle rules, I thought the dude was going too far, and I pretty much took it as a cry for help. I told someone in HR that he was apparently heading toward the edge, in danger of slipping over, maybe depressed or just incredibly sleepy.

    Ultimately, the company had to let him go, and I felt kind of bad. Like I should have kept my mouth shut and put a pillow down for him because he wasn’t really hurting anyone, and he only did it when I stepped out. Later I found out that they fired him for a whole bunch of cubicle infractions, including harrassing the secretary in our group (who was also in a cubicle).

    So, maybe (just maybe) there’s a way that the cubicle police/passive-aggressive-note writer has a point. If you can’t follow commonsensical office rules (keep your shoes on, no smelly tuna, no poking around in other people’s offices, no loud music, no confidential company reports for all to see), maybe you don’t belong in a cubie. Though, I stick to my opinion that *not looking in a cubicle* is cruel and unreasonable. (I like to look.)

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Andy

    Writer, Rejected:

    Exactly my point. When it gets to the stage that you have to leave notes, you have to realize that the violators have no clue they are the guilty parties.

    I don’t mind if someone glances my way when they pass by, but if they’re going to take a long gander, then they get to chip in for all of my porn fees. Freeloaders.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   a happier girl

    My favorite is that this person thinks a cubicle is a private area. If it’s so private, why isn’t there a door on it. Because it’s not.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 11:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Hexamillion

    All that etiquette is just rude!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 12:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Patty O. Furniture

    Why do “sights” matter if you aren’t supposed to be looking into other’s cubicles as you walk by?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 12:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Elaina

    On a side note, lets talk about pure laziness. In our cubicle colony here, we have an obesely large woman who finds it too much of an imposition to stand up and walk 4 cubicles down-a-straight-line to get to the printer for our call center… no no–instead– she ROLLS her beautiful bean footage down to the printer (conveniently located directly behind MY cubie). Lovely. this happens about 15 times a day b/c she’s prints EVERY email she gets. whatta tree killer :o(

    Jul 17, 2007 at 12:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Andy

    “Beautiful bean footage”. LOL

    Jul 17, 2007 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   August

    I have not yet entered into the cubicle workforce. Still stuck in college, but these posters remind me of so many peppy RA’s in the dorm. Yes, you can post all that crap, doesn’t mean I care!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Addicted to MCR

    Off Topic! (Sorry!)

    I’m addicted to MyCrazyRoommate.com and the blog just became invite only! Can someone please invite me??? Really, this (and PAN.com) are all that get me through the day sometimes!

    Thanks!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   jules

    The “beautiful bean footage” comment was priceless! I nearly choked on my tuna sammich.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Andy

    Jules: Tuna? In your cubicle? *points to sign*

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   GhostWriter

    Today’s Winners (so far)
    Elaina – for bean footage
    Marissa- for Stewie

    My entry-

    Dear Dr. Phil,
    I am a new-hire, working in a cubicle, and up to now, no real problems. But the lady in the next cube put up a bunch of signs, and they seem to be causing me to unintentionally do the very things she is complaining about!

    I used to ignore her and her productions, but ever since she demanded privacy, I cannot help but listen in on her conversations, and whenever I walk by her cube, I unintentionally and forced to peek in, just to see what all the fuss is about.

    …and it’s all about nothing- all that I ever see is her, glaring right back at me, as if to say, “Did you not read my notes?!?!”

    Another note instructs us not to take off our shoes, but whenever I think about it, my feet start itching and/or cramping, so I try to slip them off secretly, but don’t you know, she always walks by and spots me!

    What can I do?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 1:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Candice

    Why are “SMELLS” and “NOISE” in quotations but Privacy and Sights are not? Also, in the Privacy section, the note writer spelled “neighbor” with and without a “u”. Could it be an American immigrant who can’t make up their mind about whether to use the American or Canadian/UK spelling?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   bintgoddess

    The “Noise” one should have been titled “Sounds” in order to maintain proper parallelism with the “Sights” and “Smells”. And where is the “Tastes” sign? Where are the… um.. “Feels”?

    My favorite part is the smelly clip-art. Is that thing a lemon? Popcorn is definitely the most annoying office smell in the world because it permeates every corner of the office and smells so good, but the popper never shares, and the half a bag that remains uneaten doesn’t smell so good the next day.

    Does anyone actually use screensavers that make sound anymore? Didn’t we all get past that in, say, 1995?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Sue

    I hate signs, but I have to admit that I’ve had to use them with one particular co-worker in the past who refused to respect my personal space. He regularly would stand IN my cubicle (even while I’m sitting there!) in order to talk with my neighbor, and even sit on the edge of my cubicle desktop while I’m trying to work. WTF? Twice I asked him directly to stop doing this. After the third time, I rigged up a long piece of duct tape with a sign that said “This is a Dave-Free Area” and strung it across the entrance. I mean, some folks really DON’T get the hint! (Actually, he’s started encroaching again lately, so I may have to get the sign out again…)
    By the way, I don’t consider that passive-aggressive because I did speak with him directly several times before taking drastic measures.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Sue

    I worked in one building that banned all “smelly” foods from being microwaved. Popcorn, seafood, etc.

    Actually, what’s worse than popcorn is BURNT popcorn.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   the sos

    Sometimes a loud talker can be a nice distraction in cubicle hell. I used to have a real beotch of a coworker who would call her husband up and rip him three new ones on a regular basis. All of my coworkers and I would start emailing each other regarding various phrases she’d use to belittle him until finally, we just couldn’t resist the temptation to congregate in the next closest cube to share the hilarity of her bitching out her husband for sleeping until 9 am. Hello, crazy much?

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Writer, Rejected

    I agree with Bintgoddess and Sue: office popcorn warrants a nasty, misspelled, misquotational passive aggressive note any day of the week.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 2:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Jacques

    I don’t know if there’s a way to avoid it, but eating at the desk is the bane of my existence. I was working helpdesk a few years ago, and I got a call to a gent’s cube. He had just gone out and gotten a filet o’ fish from McD’s and had opened it and was putting on whatever sauce they give you with that noxious smelling square crap. I almost threw up a few times in his cube, and couldn’t avoid touching his mouse and keyboard. Gross.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 3:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Nostalgia

    I remember that lady with the perfume allergy. One whiff and she was off sick for the rest of the week or longer. Then, there was that fellow with the feet… To this day, I avoid corn chips like the plague.

    Jul 17, 2007 at 5:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Lily

    I love the drum on the “noise” poster. Here is what I am going to do to rebel against this bitchalicious office cop. I am going to bring a drum in and pound on it whilst having a gab session about other people’s personal conversations that I overheard and forgot to forget about. Then I am going to make myself some well-done popcorn and throw them at the office cop, with a boombox on my shoulder blasting one woman’s music, another woman’s “noise”.

    And, then of course, take off my rosy smelling Choo’s and put my feet up to surf some non-work related websites. Oh, and then take a gander at everyone’s workstation by taking a leisurely walk to this ridonkulous bulletin board and ripping all these bullshit posters down!

    Jul 17, 2007 at 7:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Wry Exchange

    She probably eats tuna and popcorn as she types up these notes. After all, she is in her ‘private space.’

    Jul 17, 2007 at 8:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Melody

    I hate the when people try to sound smart and incorrectly use “big” words. Like “pungent” in this case. It doesn’t mean “stink”. It simply means “having a strong taste or smell”. Just say stink, for god’s sake.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 12:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Lovecarrots

    “Remember, not everyone shares your sense of humour.”

    Subtext.

    “I don’t get your sense of humour because I don’t have one.”

    I also loved the smells one… that thing that looks like a cartoon of Princess Leia seen from behind, is that meant to be a perfume bottle?

    Jul 18, 2007 at 3:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Brown

    I was once called as a witness in a grievance against an old boss. Several of us were allegedly directed by the boss to harass this woman in her cubicle. I actually walked by her cubicle “in a very cavilier manner” and a few minutes later walked back the other way lauging and grinning. How dare!… Part of my job was installing software on desktop PCs, and the printer was on a counter just outside of grievance girl’s cubicle. Of course, the investigators found no evidence of harassment.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 4:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Beppo

    We had a guy who would microwave pork rinds. Man, did that stink.

    There’s this lady who sits near me whose son is 19 years old and living on his own in San Francisco. I’m always overhearing her phone conversations as she wires him money or is worried sick because she hasn’t heard from him in two months (he seems like kind a jerk to me, but I’ve never met him).
    This is a snippet of conversation I heard last year:
    “He’s got what? Thrush? What the hell is thrush? How does a 19 year old boy in San Francisco get thrush?”
    I just about bit my tongue off trying not to laugh, and of course all of my coworkers are, like, from Squaresville, baby, so they had no idea why I was chortling so hard.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 5:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   someone

    recently the bathroom at work (single, no stalls) was reeking of someone’s farts and/or loose stool. so an anonymous gifter brought a bottle of spray air freshener and left it quietly on the back of the toilet.

    then a note appeared on the mirror: “some people have allergies and that spray air freshener can cause problems for us. please reconsider.” i was so inclined to write on the note, “well, i’m allergic to the smell of SHIT so what are you gonna do?”

    Jul 18, 2007 at 6:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Tarn

    Ack! You just can’t win, can you, someone?

    My office has two toilets per floor, opening dfirectly on to the stairwell. So if someone takes a stinky crap, the whole stairwell stinks. This happens most mornings. I often have to hold my breath when I come in. Ugh! Allergies be damned, sometimes you NEED that airfreshener.
    The only problem is, the smelly crappers never USE the damn stuff…….

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Trickster

    If something is private, don’t take a pic of it and put it on public display in your cubicle! How hard can that be? And IF you take a pic of something and frame it and put it in your cubicle, it is obviously ment to be seen.

    The Privacy and Sights signs are really conflicting, because I am not even supposed to pretend that anyone elses cubilces even exist, so how can I then complain about whats IN that cubicle, without giving myself away as the cubicle stalker that I am, constantly glansing into other peoples private areas and checking out the pics of their pets?

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Elaina

    At least you dont have the notorious floor pooper… she comes in every few months and craps on the back of the toilet or on the floor behind the pot and leaves her putrid log to stink up the bathroom and be discovered by unsuspecting victims who waited till the last minute to pee and cant run away! GOD I hate this office!

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Trickster

    cubicles*

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   worker bee

    I used to work in an office where, due to someone’s allergy, we were not allowed to use perfume, cologne, scented lotion, scented shampoo, scented soap, hairspray… you get the idea. However, this was NOT conveyed to us through a passive-aggressive sign, but at a meeting and by our supervisor. If the person who wrote this note wants to enact a similar rule, I suggest s/he goes through the proper channels.
    Oh, and I get a kick out of people who complain about a lack of privacy in cubicles. Try working in a completely open space where you don’t even have the luxury of feeble cubicle walls! And hey, try being the only person with a phone on her desk, so that everyone has to use your desk (by which I mean the only space that is “mine” besides my little filing cabinet) if they need to make a call.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 7:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Tarn

    Elaina – I’ve heard of those phantom poopers. I reckon it’s a kink some people have – they get pleasure out of it. Nasty!

    Worker bee – I would have asked why the allergy sufferer couldn’t just take medication for it. Asking people not to wear cologne is one thing, but making them all use unscented everything is an imposition, in my book. If I had to fork out for special products which I wouldn’t normally buy, just to keep one person from sneezing, I would not be a happy bunny!

    I’m not a cubie – open-plan office, here. I’m not sure which is worse. The noise level is higher without cubicle walls. I pretty much want to kill the woman on the next desk who has constant loud personal calls on her cell, and won’t take them away from the desk. And there’s no privacy for non-work surfing.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 8:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   mere

    wow.. that person sounds like a HOOT! i bet it’s one big party at that company…

    Jul 18, 2007 at 9:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   needo

    I can sympathize with the noise complaint. In my cube farm we have these “half” walls. There are 3-4 rows of people that enjoy just standing up from their desks and yelling back and forth. Some of these people are 3 rows away.

    It drives me nuts. 95% of the conversations are not work related. Some days I want to stand up and tell them to get back to work.

    What really drives me nuts is when they start all singing songs together or when one of them (like today) brought in a baby doll to work that will occasionally start to cry.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 10:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   cityclass.

    notice how the spelling goes back and forth between canadian and american?

    neighbours…neighbor…

    Jul 18, 2007 at 11:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Angela

    Do we all share a brain?
    I just went to make a Tuna sandwich,too.
    But all I have is NASTY Miracle Whip.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 12:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Nigel

    I’m talking on speaker phone and eating an onion tuna anchovie sammich of which half I discard into my waste can.

    I have an office with a door and I can lock it! Booyaaah.

    I do feel for the cubies…

    Jul 18, 2007 at 12:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   joebec

    man, i would have been fired LONG AGO…. i break all those at least once a day.

    Jul 18, 2007 at 1:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   becstar

    Why does this person’s anal retention fail to extend to the need for possessive apostrophes? Good grammar is your friend…

    Jul 18, 2007 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   john

    Working in a cube makes me want to hurt myself. Well, not working in it so much as having to deal with the people around it. In particular, the woman who can spend several hours a day yelling into her phone in non-english (if it was english at least i could listen in…), slurping food 3-4 times a day so loud that my mp3 player can’t cover it up, having very loud conversations with people (sometimes over the top of my cube, huzzah), singing while listening to her mp3 player, snoring, and spending a stunning amount of time tearing pieces of paper into little bits.

    Despite that, I would still never write notes like the original sign poster did :P

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Jacinda

    The “beautiful bean footage” comment was priceless.

    Well done, m’ lady, well done.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   Huh?

    I don’t get the “beautiful bean” comment. Anyone care to clarify?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   BoggyWoggy

    From the “Bush’s Baked Beans” commercials, “Huh?”

    Jul 19, 2007 at 10:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   BoggyWoggy

    You know, “Let’s roll that beautiful bean footage.”

    Jul 19, 2007 at 10:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   rrpa

    Dang it! I just love the smell of my own feet, my own farts too.

    But I do kind of feel for the note writer. I have a coworker who just lurves pungent, cheap perfume. Doesn’t everyone know that the smell of your perfume shouldn’t reach beyond your immediate area? The smell permeates the entire office. It’s enough to make me want to stick sharp objects up my nose.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 1:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   Huh?

    Sorry, Boggy, that must be a local commercial or aired just in your country. Or I need to watch more TV.

    How about the “Knower Of All” cubiclizer? You know the one, she can’t do her own job but can offer myriad suggestions as to how you can do yours. The job she couldn’t understand if you gave her a map ? oooooohhmmmmm, breathe in, I’m gettin’ a little passively aggressive here, breathe out.

    Jul 20, 2007 at 8:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Janey

    I too had to make myself a tuna sandwich after reading this–although not while I was at work.

    I have a workneighbor who is constantly making gross smelling foods for lunch. She must not close her mouth when she chews because I can then hear her eating her smelly foods…The slurpy, chewing sounds combined with the smells wafting over my cube wall make me want to gag.

    Jul 20, 2007 at 9:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   penny

    Me thinks that the person putting up the “notices” were actually the one violating them. How else would this person know that people are leaving important documents on their desks? Psychic? I think not!

    Jul 21, 2007 at 11:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   Anne

    Microwaved broccoli is the worst. Smells like garbage.

    Jul 24, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   Melanie Smellanie

    omg this is hilarious.

    It’s nice knowing I’m not the only one driven insane by co-workers at times. :)

    Cube life is…well…interesting at the least.

    Jul 25, 2007 at 2:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Spruce Moose

    Trickster: Don’t let me catch you glancing into my private areas, I’m bashful!

    Jul 26, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   Mierin

    people who have scent allergies are usually only bothered by it when it’s in large amounts, or is bargain basement cheapo crap. I had to stop going to church cos Im allergic to the old ladies who dump on flowery perfume and stick their curly heads in a vat of hairspray.

    perfume should be discovered, not announced.

    Jul 30, 2007 at 1:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   Mishee

    I am sitting here now, in my pathetic excuse for a cubicle (more like an open area with three walls) – behind one wall is the copy center, which is another word for watercooler here, but even overhearing some chit-chat (which sometimes I speak up and comment on – who cares if they know I have been listening! when they rave about the SF Giants I just HAVE to defend my beloved Oakland A’s!) – and to my left, my bosses boss’s office, to which she NEVER closes the door, LOVES speakerphone, and talks to people in person like they are on speakerphone (all loud all the time) – believe me there are certain cube ettiquette that is just common courtesy – but the Cube Nazi above sure took things to the next level! (although I agree with not microwaving fish or some ethnic foods – that’s just nasty!!) – BTW I am still chuckling about the beautiful bean footage and I REALLY want the tuna sandwich that I originally planned to bring for lunch today but was too lazy to make! PAN.com is my new fave site!!!

    Jul 31, 2007 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Lewis Nowosad

    What, no TPS cover sheets mentioned – GAWD who ever wrote these must work in HELL

    Aug 3, 2007 at 6:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   O

    I am thinking we need a Cubicle Bill of Rights…no?

    Aug 6, 2007 at 1:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   jules

    OMG! Do they really make vats of hairspray? Do I get it at Costco or somewhere like that? Seriously, that would save me a lot of time and money.

    We have a perfume lady at our church, too. She scares the little kids.

    Aug 7, 2007 at 8:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   shartheheretic

    If you think this is bad, I used to work at a company where we were not allowed to have any “non-work related” items on our desks (no photos of kids, pets, etc.). We had one very small area where we could post these items, as well as any memos, etc. from the PTB. Other than that, the desks had to be clear of clutter at all times, unless you absolutely needed a file or whatever on your desk. You were not allowed to leave files out even if you went to the bathroom for 30 seconds. All items, including office supplies such as staplers, hole punchers, etc. had to be put away at the end of each day, as well as all files, pens, paper, etc. And there was actually someone given the task of coming around and checking each cube on a regular basis and reporting each area.

    This little bit of fascism was handed down from a man at the top of the foot chain, who obviously had an obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have known other people with this and feel sympathy for most people suffering with this, but when your disorder crosses the line and starts affecting an entire company, you need some serious help.

    Aug 8, 2007 at 4:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   shartheheretic

    Sorry, that was supposed to be “food chain”. Darn migraine headache…

    Aug 8, 2007 at 4:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   Dr. Nona

    Love the clip art!

    Aug 8, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Loft Lizard bang

    I leave my drums at home. I NEVER play them at the office.

    Something about thinking your feet smell good?

    Rather than worrying about “gab sessions” on company time, maybe someone should be seeing who is wasting time typing up shit, fonting it to death, clip arting it, printing it off, and then trodding to the board to pin it up.

    Next time someone glances in my cubicle I am going to cut them, and good!

    B-LL

    Dec 3, 2007 at 11:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   Me

    This is hilarious to me because corporations save a tonne of money by not providing office space for their employees… then go off complaining that people can see and hear each others confidential work related activities! Too bad morons! get us some DOORS

    Dec 11, 2007 at 10:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   just plane rude

    [...] add that characterizing this as a safety concern is a bit of a stretch too, but i think the amazing clip art and the hand-drawn smiley are what really push this one over the [...]

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   pgray

    Really annoying when someone in the next cubicle decides to move the office furniture around without saying anything first making it necessary for you to waste time and effort having to rearrange yours.
    Would be nice if they’d left a note to say that’s what they were going to do to make their workspace nicer – or even left a note afterwards to say sorry!

    I hate people who look over your cube walls too – it may be a workspace but invasion of personal space is distracting!!!!!

    Mar 10, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   t

    I love my job, even if I do have to work in a cubicle, except for one thing…or rather, one person. The woman 2 cubicles away has several-times-daily telephone conversations with her on-the-road husband, each lasting up to 2 hours. (I am not exaggerating.) She has them in her “outside voice,” and I have gone the entire route from listening to music as loud as I can bear it with earbuds to massive over-the-ear headphones trying to block her out, to no avail. It might be okay if she talked about anything interesting, to make my inadvertent eavesdropping worthwhile, but her topics have ranged from explaining how to knit (I swear to God!) to lessons on Spanish grammar rules to therapy sessions on anger management (I need that thanks to her!) to childlike sing song-y recitations of their daughter’s latest toilet training efforts. I am not the only one who has a problem with this, everyone in this area of the office can hear her and complains to each other about it, but my supervisor is apparently and conveniently deaf to all of this. AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    May 12, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   LaughterRX bang

    It’s a CATCH 22.

    How do you complain about something someone has displayed in their cubicle if you aren’t even allowed to glance in that direction?

    Question: Upon hire, are walking sticks (such as those red & white ones for the blind) supplied to reduce risk of peeking into a neighbor / neighbour’s cubicle?

    I’d really like an answer.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   MichiganPam

    I have one issue that’s not on that list (that I saw anyway). I have a cube neighbor that reads aloud. I don’t mean the occasional moving of the lips as one reads over that email before sending. I’m talking full volume, loud, sometimes mistaken for conversation, reading.
    She also breaks every other faux pax on the list on a daily basis.
    I so want to serve her with an eviction notice.

    Nov 21, 2008 at 11:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   Tech Guy

    Your cubicle is your private area – but make sure you don’t do anything you would ever do in your other private areas. That is a thing of beauty.

    Nov 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   people got a lotta nerve

    [...] related: cubicle etiquette [...]

    Jul 11, 2009 at 7:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Thank you for your grudging compliance. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Cubicle etiquette [...]

    Jul 26, 2010 at 9:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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