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To each his own microwave

July 19th, 2007 · 110 comments

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

This microwave was privately purchased by SDT + is for their use only. Permission has been given by Facilities Services.

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

It has a PADLOCK!

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

This Microwave is the property of General Services/Accounts Receivable. If you would like to contribute to the cost and upkeep please contact General Services before using. Clean after use and ensure all food products are covered before cooking.

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

I haven't got a microwave as yet but this is where i am going to put it when I eventually get it.

related: No smelly foods

FILED UNDER: Belfast · kitchen · microwave · note wars · office · saga · spelling and grammar police

110 responses so far ↓

  • #1   ian

    I can’t imagine working in an office where every little department or empire-builder had his own microwave in the kitchen. The writer has pointed out the silliness of the situation with flair and irony. Brilliant!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:24 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

  • #2   Alycia

    OMG. A freaking lock. I love it.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:24 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #3   BrotMonster

    How much does a microwave cost to clean/keep-up? Must be a fortune if you’re going to padlock the thing. Insane!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #4   Ben

    Money for microwave upkeep? Sure, you need to take them in to be serviced after every 100 hours of usage (you all do this, right?) but the note seems excessive.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #5   BrotMonster

    I’m putting a padlock on my hole punch – the upkeep on that baby is a fortune.

    By the way – does drilling holes in the frame not invalidate the warranty & risk the exposure of harmful rays?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:01 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

  • #6   Me3

    I’m amused at how much the writing of the top note look like the Disney logo’s font.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:02 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #7   barnesy

    What’s going on with the dots on the Is? The circles alone are worrying, but they’re all over the place! And why dot the Is when writing in upper case?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #8   sweavo

    That shows it was written by a female who is technically not a member of SDT but is assigned to them. She is lower paid than anyone in SDT but they could not function without her. She’s in her late 20s and left school in her teens. If this had happened 5 years previously, they would have been flowers over the “I”s.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jeanette

      Not a female..this note written by a man. Probably took engineering courses along with drafting. He labels things at his desk and his home. Although he seems upbeat he leads an inwardly lonely life.

      Jul 24, 2008 at 10:01 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #9   .................................................

    This is hilarious.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #10   pedgehog

    Team cheese and pickle!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 3:57 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #11   Ingrid

    I loved the last note. Brilliant!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 4:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #12   ginger

    oh wow. that is a classic. up keep costs lol

    Jul 19, 2007 at 4:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   mahkrowave

    first thing i would do is cut off that lock and put my own in

    oh teh hiliarity

    Jul 19, 2007 at 4:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   TSG

    Microwave messes are no fun but this is taking it a bit far, don’t you think? Bless that third chap for having a sense of humor about the whole thing.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 4:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #15   jfruh

    This is in Northern Ireland. Maybe SDT are all Protestants and General Services/AR are all Catholics and they don’t feel like they can share a microwave? Oh, the humanity!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   Lili

    this is one of the funniest posts i’ve seen on this site. the person who wrote the last reply is a genius :D

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #17   GhostWriter

    - Operation Microwave Freedom -

    Our focus for the attack is the lock. Destroy the lock and you destroy control.

    Operative will stay late one evening, ostensibly working, while actually mixing JB Weld in an old film container. When no one is looking, shove the container full of JB Weld over the lock. Tape to secure and avoid spillage.

    The next morning, deny all knowledge.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Beef N. Bean

      This is the digital age, where is the operative going to get an old film container?

      Should he or she requisition one from KAOS or from Control?

      Jul 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #18   Shawn

    Team cheese and pickle, and also Team GhostWriter!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #19   Elaina

    OMG — somebody HAS to teach me how to put a lock on a microwave without damaging it!

    Next…. I’ll be locking up the toster oven – and the fridge – and the ice chest — sweet..

    Fricken HilariouS!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 5:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   Writer, Rejected


    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   Trev

    Team dancing microwave, never we mind. That would be sweet!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   mandi

    That’s too funny… I feel bad for the microwave! Why haven’t these people tried getting some Lysol wipes?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #23   Andrew L.

    Some people will do anything to be famous. Patrick, you need to take a prnt scrn of this blog entry, reduce it to A4, minus the trackable headers, and paste it up on the wall.

    Then your agents (volunteers), can contact the perpetrators with requests for money and microwave combinations. I wonders if these installations have been captured on some accessible cctv footage.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   Brown

    I’d suggest using some adhesive caulk on the gap between the door and the control panel. Then leave a putty knife or Xacto knife for folks to use to “unlock” the door. (HE HE HE)

    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #25   pry

    the top note:

    i’m pretty sure that placing the dot over the next letter, rather than over the actual “i” says something about character.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #26   The Fresh Cracker

    These people have WAY too much time on their hands.

    Except for the writer of the last note, because that shit is just funny. (*That shit is not really disrespectful).


    Jul 19, 2007 at 6:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #27   Jessi1974

    Um, correct me if I’m wrong (and I’m sure someone will) but can’t you buy a new microwave at good ol’ Wallyworld for about $30? Money for UPKEEP? I think this is my favorite entry ever….I’m still in hysterics over the lock!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #28   Heather

    I would pay to use a singing and dancing microwave.

    But, um…cheese and pickle sandwiches? Eh?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #29   joebec

    all singing AND dancing? wow! no wonder he has to save up for 4 years for it!

    cheese and pickles…yummy!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #30   T-Bone

    Paddy- I am interested to know the kind of business in which you work. Is it an engineering firm, an accounting firm, or something like that?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #31   habeas

    I suspect the “all singing, all dancing” microwave may be a “Fight Club” reference. As in “all singing, all dancing crap of the world. ” The padlock is an amazingly hostile action.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #32   Vampira

    This is an amazing note. I love the lock…never imagined someone could need a locked microwave. I wonder why exactly they felt the need. Hmmm….

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #33   Rich C

    Absolutely loving the last note!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #34   Potbelly

    Love the Fight Club reference, “All singing, all dancing crap of the world”. Kudos, Final Note Writer!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #35   Potbelly

    Oops habeas you beat me!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #36   Paddybrown

    It’s a governmental organisation. That’s all I’m saying.

    And “all singing, all dancing” is quite a common UK expression for a multi-purpose device or similar. I expect that’s where Fight Club got it from.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:23 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #37   Sair

    Heather and joebec – cheese and pickle is a UK thing, pickle isn’t ‘pickles’ like those big green fellas you slice up or have on the side, pickle usually means something called Branston – it’s kinda brown and lumpy and goes in a cheese sandwich.

    ….. Hmm, I’m not really making that sound too appetising now am I…

    Team Branston!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #38   Writer, Rejected

    I think that I would not be able to help myself from carefully unscrewing the lock every evening after work, placing it into the microwave, and cooking it on high, for say, oh-I-don’t-know, 8.5 minutes, and leaving it there for the morning SDTers to find. EVERY EVENING. Just to see what signs would ensue. Maybe I’d even leave a pickle-cheese sandwich nearby as my signature, but maybe not.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:31 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #39   Jacinda

    Honestly, a lock?
    I understand that people leaving the community microwave a mess can be irritating, but that’s when you step up and say “I’m an adult, I can deal”.

    Some people are so OCD about having control. YIKES!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #40   T-Bone

    Paddy- that does explain a lot I think! Such rigid little people. Good God.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #41   Andy

    I wonder if the combination is “666″?

    The great thing about that lock is that every time they open it up, they are probably saying, “If people could be RESPECTFUL, I wouldn’t have to have a bleeping lock on my microwave to burn my popcorn!”

    Then they could say, “That burned popcorn was fucking delecious.”

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #42   Winifred Bagel

    This is like in 2001 when the monkeys discover the bone can be used as a weapon.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #43   TAJ

    Someone needs to do a cultural study on microwaves. I’m pretty sure you could fill an encyclopedia with microwave signs/notes from every office and apartment around the world.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #44   BoggyWoggy

    The last note is excellent! What creativity!
    Why don’t the other folks take time to put a retinal scanner on the microwaves?

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #45   Hexamillion

    I had a flash of psychic insight regarding the mis-registered “i” circles: The writer first scrawls out the body of the message and then goes back and hurriedly/furiously fills in the circles over her “i’s”. The force of her anger pushes the circles over to the next character. I also had a vision of a vein pulsating at her left temple…mouth tersely pinched…eyes narrow and deadly. Abandon hope all ye who microwave here!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #46   Writer, Rejected

    They probably *do* burn their popcorn on purpose to get a rise out of the cubicle underclass and the microwaveless pleebs. Also, a microwave-protectional retinal scanner is brilliant. I hope someone looks into that.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #47   will

    Team Cheese and Pickles all the way.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 11:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #48   Gwen

    That last note is brilliant.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #49   Elizabeth

    I think the Disney font of the first writer really does it for me…

    Jul 19, 2007 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #50   your dad

    Team cucumber and cheese sandwiches. That’s pretty much all I ate when I lived in the UK for a summer.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #51   Rachel B.

    Where can I go to donate 50p to the biscuit tin man? That is the only guy, in my opinion, that deserves a microwave!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 2:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #52   Sweet Jane

    Ok, seriously, these comments are not helping my bar-studying-stress-induced food obsessions, which have grown from simple Doritos (that one was all my own doing) to tuna sandwiches (thanks, cubicle commenters) to, now, pickle and cheese sandwiches (toasted, must be toasted!), and I think I may have to go to the grocery store at 10:00 pm just so I can satisfy that particular craving.

    Andy, I love you. Your post made me shout-laugh.

    (I still love you, too, Writer, Rejected.)

    Team That Was Fucking Delicious. And Cheese and Pickles.

    Oh, and hey, Team Tomato and Cream Cheese Sandwiches. Those are pretty Effing D, also.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #53   Single Jane

    love the last one

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #54   Shannon from Canada

    Wow . . . now this is the kind of post that make me love this blog even more!

    Question I pose to all: How much time do the people who put the lock on the microwave have on their hands? SERIOUSLY! Do they not have work to do? Money to make so they can purchase a retinal scanner for the microwave? Good gosh, makes one ponder the question dose it not? Anal retentive snot goblins!

    Now I want a cheese and pickle sandwich!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 7:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #55   Amber

    Oh, Shannon from Canada, how I love you.

    “Anal retentive snot goblins” made me spew Mt. Dew all over my desk. Thanks for the mess. ;)


    Jul 19, 2007 at 8:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #56   Diego R.

    This is simply hilarious! i’m all for team cheese-and-pickle sandwiches!

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #57   becstar

    There’s been yet *another* restructure at my government dept. We’ve got new floor buddies, who are a million times more social than the people I work with. Their use of the communal tearoom has sent many people into defensive battle modes – it’s so territorial, it’s fantastically ridiculous. Am waiting for the inevitable notes to appear and will post.

    Jul 19, 2007 at 9:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #58   legotech

    totally team cheese and pickle sandwich.

    Oh and the Disney font? try tons of free fonts and I think I have that Disney one :)

    Jul 19, 2007 at 10:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #59   Rich C

    I love the padlock!

    Go team cheese & pickle sandwich!

    Jul 20, 2007 at 5:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #60   Will

    Would make a great “The Office” episode.

    Jul 20, 2007 at 7:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #61   Indrid

    I love the fight club reference in the last note, its freakin great.

    Jul 21, 2007 at 9:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #62   penny

    I’m with Team Cheese and pickle! There’s nothing more delicious than a slice of cheese and pickle on white bread. I’m too busy putting away 50 cents a week to save up for this ULTIMATE microwave. Hmm… come to think of it I should put a lock on my stapler. The upkeep of that is too much for my blood.

    Jul 21, 2007 at 11:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #63   penny

    By the way… I just had a cheese and pickle sandwich right now and it was FANTASTICAL!

    Jul 21, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #64   Jill

    Team Cheese-n-Pickles, you are made of win.

    Jul 22, 2007 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #65   Lovecarrots

    What a belter! All hail to the god (or goddess) with the common sense and the biscuit tin!

    Jul 23, 2007 at 12:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #66   Dawn

    I think that people who dot their i’s with circles have mental problems.

    Jul 23, 2007 at 1:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #67   Collaroy

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Each of the three signs are awesome! And how DO you manage to put a lock on the microwave?? That is so awesome. Boy, would I have fun in that office…

    One of the best I’ve seen here so far. Love it, thank you so much for uploading this gem!

    Jul 23, 2007 at 1:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #68   Mierin

    there are three things you need to do.

    1. Bring an easy-bake oven to work and put a fat chain and U bike lock around it.

    2. Paint the exterior of the locked microwave in a thick coating of cheez-wiz.

    3. Keep eating cheese and pickle sandwiches. Those things are fucking delicious.

    Jul 23, 2007 at 6:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #69   Brian

    I love the lock idea. I’m going to use it on the coffee pot I have out in the common area.

    Jul 23, 2007 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #70   jamie

    holy crap a freakin lock! how were they able to attach it so neatly??

    Jul 24, 2007 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #70.1   luana

      Superglue, The solution to all of lifes wee probs..
      but not as tasty as cheese and pickles of course.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 3:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #71   OBoogie

    Cheese and Branston pickle sandwiches are far better than anything you can microwave. I want one now.

    Jul 25, 2007 at 8:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #72   Spruce Moose

    It seems to me that if one were to put an appliance in the communal area of an office, one would expect others to want to use it. Therefore, the $30 Wal-Mart model seems appropriate. If it breaks, ask others to contribute to its replacement. It might work!

    All singing – All dancing probably originated with the earliest talking pictures where some were mostly silent with a few sound-synchronized musical numbers added.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 11:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #73   Shabs

    This just remind me of Dwight from the American version of the office. It is so out of control how hard it is for humans to share (and clean up.)

    Aug 1, 2007 at 11:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #74   Aaron

    the padlock is awesome. Seriously. Microwaves are like what? $50? Life. Get one.

    Sep 14, 2007 at 4:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #75   you gotta keep ’em separated

    [...] yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘please close door.’ i have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against [...]

    Nov 7, 2007 at 12:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #76   MissD.

    I think it’s quite funny that the second note states you have a choice to contribute to cost and upkeep.

    Doesn’t say anything about not being allowed to use it if you choose not to…

    Feb 20, 2008 at 6:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #77   crazy is right

    [...] in the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded hot pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. and a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? eh, fair enough. but this note — from an anonymous office worker in baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny. [...]

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #78   stfu bang

    All of you who think these users are control freaks are probably the same SLOBS who can’t figure out that people get tired of cleaning up the microwave after some dolt leaves half their lunch splattered all over it. When I want to heat up my lunch, I don’t want to have to scrape the over clean beforehand, or worry about what else is (re)cooking along with my stuff.
    THAT’s why these people have resorted to having their own nukers.

    Mar 28, 2008 at 3:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #79 » Blog Archive » Microwave madness

    [...] Passive Aggressive Notes for an amusing tale of possessiveness in the office I work [...]

    Apr 15, 2008 at 6:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #80   honeydbuns

    I prefer grilled cheese with bread and
    butter pickles, though dill is good for a change.

    Apr 29, 2008 at 2:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #81   EvilGod

    It would be fairly safe to assume that those whose comments ridicule the lock are either unfamiliar with shared work lunchrooms or are the very type of people the lock was intended to keep out.
    Everyone wants a lunchroom with modern conveniences but it’s never their responsibility to clean up after themselves. There should also be a sign saying “Do not microwave anything with that horrid Parmesan on it that smells like puke” on it. :-)

    May 1, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #81.1   Brigitte

      Why are you even reading this site?
      This site was intended as a refuge for all us chilled-out people to get away from people like you and have a laugh at your anal antics.

      There is nothing for you here, my little worry-wart…..

      Jul 15, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #81.2   LaughterRX bang

      Actually, I think the people who ridicule the lock are people who think it’s f’n rediculous to put a lock on a microwave in a break room. Seriously. And by the way… I put parmesan cheese on everything I microwave.

      I find this hilarious because I carry lock cutters everywhere I go. I guess I’m too smart for them.

      Aug 12, 2008 at 3:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #82   sir jorge

    i like pickle and cheese sandwiches, is that a bad thing? I’m confused.

    May 22, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #83   dayes

    this is hilarious. on par with this note that was posted in the kitchen of one of my old offices.

    May 23, 2008 at 1:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #84   Maria

    um, don’t you people get the irony of the third note? the person is just making fun of these poor people whose whole life revolves aroud those microwaves and whether or not someone else is using them. for christ’s sake, they’re only THINGS

    Jun 4, 2008 at 5:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #84.1   Mimi

      *waves hand*

      This is not the website you are looking for.

      Dec 28, 2008 at 7:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #85   deutoplasm

    cheese and pickles?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 4:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #85.1   Shyman

      It’s not just for breakfast anymore!

      Jul 24, 2008 at 1:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #86   misterpain

    Even with his food products covered, Houdini could free himself from that locked microwave in 30 seconds flat.

    Jul 10, 2008 at 3:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #87   hockeyman

    I would have cut the power cord off!

    Jul 24, 2008 at 2:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #88   Gary N. King from Alaska

    I’mm going to shoot my third moose for the year and pound that lock up its arse….shove them both in that microwave….Let’s see, 1200 lb moose and lock,…5 minutes on high……

    Jul 24, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #88.1   sprucemoose

      Hey, watch who you’re shooting!

      Jul 24, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #89   Konnie from Flroida

    I love it! As a property manager I am faced with filthy microwaves all the time. The last time one had ants crawling in it and we were expected to clean it. I just turned the MW on high and toasted the little critters. Told my co-workers when they cleaned the MW I would call the exterminator. LOL!!!

    Jul 24, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #90   lifeonhold

    Love the humor, hate the underlying problem.

    Our microwave is utterly disgusting with uncleaned cooked and recooked splatter. We also have co-workers who routinely stink up the whole floor cooking raw cabbage, raw broccoli, and raw fish.

    If you dare to SAY anything to the perp you get emotional blowback which is seen as disruptive and it is always the one who speaks up who is considered the ‘bad guy’. Management can’t be bothered so we are left to leave notes and bemoan the ruination of civility and common courtesy.

    I love this site!

    Jul 24, 2008 at 10:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #91   Dude In Ohio

    Microwave? Who needs one! No worries. For decades I’ve heated my cheese, garlic & pickle sandwitches by just sitting on it for an hour or so before lunch. With luck, I get that extra ‘flavor bite’ which saves adding the hot sauce. If I’m in a hurry, I just hold it under my arm for a few minutes giving me mobility and still able to use both hands. Why go to the expense of a microwave and having to stand guard over it?

    Jul 25, 2008 at 3:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #92   trmech3

    leave the lock on, cut the plug off of the cord

    Jul 25, 2008 at 8:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #93   GhostWriter bang

    Someone should invent a foamy spray that you can fill up your dirty microwave with, wait five minutes, and then peel the whole thing out of the oven, revealing a spotlessly clean cooking area.

    Bonus points if the residue can be added to hot water to create a spicy bullion.

    Jul 25, 2008 at 8:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #93.1   bridgefairy

      There is, it is called Scrubbing Bubbles – made by Dow. It is a bathroom cleaner – but works very well on kitchen counters and greasy cooktops. It is not good for fridges however as it is too perfumey — and God FORBID something perfumey contaminates one’s Camembert! Cheers!

      Nov 7, 2008 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #94   Red Letterboxer

    My microwave limerick:

    My coworkers here are so rude
    They warm up leftover seafood
    The lunchroom now smells
    As fishy as hell
    I’m sensing a forthcoming feud

    Jul 25, 2008 at 9:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #94.1   lifeonhold

      Hahahaha, thanks! I’m using it.

      Jul 26, 2008 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #95   Gary King

    Oh my….a lock… have constant electricity! I live in Alaska, USA. How about I send enough caribou or rainbow for the entire company to make sandwiches. While it is being heated in your new lock proof microwave you will discover no splatter….simple solution….no fatty stuff…….
    I wonder why I’m still single…….

    Aug 12, 2008 at 2:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #96   Glen

    How cute that last comment was! :))

    Oct 27, 2008 at 12:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #97   sincerely, disappointed

    [...] related: to each his own microwave [...]

    Nov 20, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #98   SadFaic.

    Lol ur so nub.

    Dec 24, 2008 at 1:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #99   Jom

    Quite funny specially the last one.

    Dec 29, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #100   Claire

    Dear Rich, Privileged People Who Take Their Privilege and Money For Granted :

    Fuck You. Poor people need to heat up their soup, too.


    Feb 17, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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