paddy in belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.
it all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:
…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.
later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:
…which prompted this note on the wall between them:
reddit!
stumble it!
84 responses so far ↓
#1 ian
I can’t imagine working in an office where every little department or empire-builder had his own microwave in the kitchen. The writer has pointed out the silliness of the situation with flair and irony. Brilliant!
Jul 19, 2007 at 12:24 am rating: +1
#2 Alycia
OMG. A freaking lock. I love it.
Jul 19, 2007 at 12:24 am rating: 0
#3 BrotMonster
How much does a microwave cost to clean/keep-up? Must be a fortune if you’re going to padlock the thing. Insane!
Jul 19, 2007 at 12:25 am rating: 0
#4 Ben
Money for microwave upkeep? Sure, you need to take them in to be serviced after every 100 hours of usage (you all do this, right?) but the note seems excessive.
Jul 19, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: 0
#5 BrotMonster
I’m putting a padlock on my hole punch - the upkeep on that baby is a fortune.
By the way - does drilling holes in the frame not invalidate the warranty & risk the exposure of harmful rays?
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:01 am rating: 0
#6 Me3
I’m amused at how much the writing of the top note look like the Disney logo’s font.
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:02 am rating: 0
#7 barnesy
What’s going on with the dots on the Is? The circles alone are worrying, but they’re all over the place! And why dot the Is when writing in upper case?
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:20 am rating: 0
#8 sweavo
That shows it was written by a female who is technically not a member of SDT but is assigned to them. She is lower paid than anyone in SDT but they could not function without her. She’s in her late 20s and left school in her teens. If this had happened 5 years previously, they would have been flowers over the “I”s.
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:33 am rating: 0
#9 .................................................
This is hilarious.
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:33 am rating: 0
#10 pedgehog
Team cheese and pickle!
Jul 19, 2007 at 3:57 am rating: 0
#11 Ingrid
I loved the last note. Brilliant!
Jul 19, 2007 at 4:27 am rating: 0
#12 ginger
oh wow. that is a classic. up keep costs lol
Jul 19, 2007 at 4:34 am rating: 0
#13 mahkrowave
first thing i would do is cut off that lock and put my own in
oh teh hiliarity
Jul 19, 2007 at 4:47 am rating: 0
#14 TSG
Microwave messes are no fun but this is taking it a bit far, don’t you think? Bless that third chap for having a sense of humor about the whole thing.
Jul 19, 2007 at 4:57 am rating: 0
#15 jfruh
This is in Northern Ireland. Maybe SDT are all Protestants and General Services/AR are all Catholics and they don’t feel like they can share a microwave? Oh, the humanity!
Jul 19, 2007 at 5:20 am rating: 0
#16 Lili
this is one of the funniest posts i’ve seen on this site. the person who wrote the last reply is a genius
Jul 19, 2007 at 5:27 am rating: 0
#17 GhostWriter
- Operation Microwave Freedom -
Our focus for the attack is the lock. Destroy the lock and you destroy control.
Operative will stay late one evening, ostensibly working, while actually mixing JB Weld in an old film container. When no one is looking, shove the container full of JB Weld over the lock. Tape to secure and avoid spillage.
The next morning, deny all knowledge.
Jul 19, 2007 at 5:31 am rating: 0
#18 Shawn
Team cheese and pickle, and also Team GhostWriter!
Jul 19, 2007 at 5:39 am rating: 0
#19 Microwave madness « Patrick Brown’s blog
[…] under: padlock, passive aggressive notes, microwave, office — paddybrown @ 1:44 pm Visit Passive Aggressive Notes for an amusing tale of possessiveness in the office I work […]
Jul 19, 2007 at 5:45 am rating: 0
#20 Elaina
OMG — somebody HAS to teach me how to put a lock on a microwave without damaging it!
Next…. I’ll be locking up the toster oven - and the fridge - and the ice chest — sweet..
Fricken HilariouS!
Jul 19, 2007 at 5:59 am rating: 0
#21 Writer, Rejected
Speechless.
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:01 am rating: 0
#22 Trev
Team dancing microwave, never we mind. That would be sweet!
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:21 am rating: 0
#23 mandi
That’s too funny… I feel bad for the microwave! Why haven’t these people tried getting some Lysol wipes?
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:22 am rating: 0
#24 Andrew L.
Some people will do anything to be famous. Patrick, you need to take a prnt scrn of this blog entry, reduce it to A4, minus the trackable headers, and paste it up on the wall.
Then your agents (volunteers), can contact the perpetrators with requests for money and microwave combinations. I wonders if these installations have been captured on some accessible cctv footage.
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:23 am rating: 0
#25 Brown
I’d suggest using some adhesive caulk on the gap between the door and the control panel. Then leave a putty knife or Xacto knife for folks to use to “unlock” the door. (HE HE HE)
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:36 am rating: 0
#26 pry
the top note:
i’m pretty sure that placing the dot over the next letter, rather than over the actual “i” says something about character.
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:37 am rating: 0
#27 The Fresh Cracker
These people have WAY too much time on their hands.
Except for the writer of the last note, because that shit is just funny. (*That shit is not really disrespectful).
*http://passiveaggressivenotes.wordpress.com/2007/05/20/that-shit-is-disrespectful/
Jul 19, 2007 at 6:40 am rating: 0
#28 Jessi1974
Um, correct me if I’m wrong (and I’m sure someone will) but can’t you buy a new microwave at good ol’ Wallyworld for about $30? Money for UPKEEP? I think this is my favorite entry ever….I’m still in hysterics over the lock!
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:11 am rating: 0
#29 Heather
I would pay to use a singing and dancing microwave.
But, um…cheese and pickle sandwiches? Eh?
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:13 am rating: 0
#30 joebec
all singing AND dancing? wow! no wonder he has to save up for 4 years for it!
cheese and pickles…yummy!
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:14 am rating: 0
#31 T-Bone
Paddy- I am interested to know the kind of business in which you work. Is it an engineering firm, an accounting firm, or something like that?
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:40 am rating: 0
#32 habeas
I suspect the “all singing, all dancing” microwave may be a “Fight Club” reference. As in “all singing, all dancing crap of the world. ” The padlock is an amazingly hostile action.
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:51 am rating: 0
#33 Vampira
This is an amazing note. I love the lock…never imagined someone could need a locked microwave. I wonder why exactly they felt the need. Hmmm….
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:54 am rating: 0
#34 Rich C
Absolutely loving the last note!
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:14 am rating: 0
#35 Potbelly
Love the Fight Club reference, “All singing, all dancing crap of the world”. Kudos, Final Note Writer!
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:15 am rating: 0
#36 Potbelly
Oops habeas you beat me!
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:19 am rating: 0
#37 Paddybrown
It’s a governmental organisation. That’s all I’m saying.
And “all singing, all dancing” is quite a common UK expression for a multi-purpose device or similar. I expect that’s where Fight Club got it from.
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:23 am rating: 0
#38 Sair
Heather and joebec - cheese and pickle is a UK thing, pickle isn’t ‘pickles’ like those big green fellas you slice up or have on the side, pickle usually means something called Branston - it’s kinda brown and lumpy and goes in a cheese sandwich.
….. Hmm, I’m not really making that sound too appetising now am I…
Team Branston!
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:27 am rating: 0
#39 Writer, Rejected
I think that I would not be able to help myself from carefully unscrewing the lock every evening after work, placing it into the microwave, and cooking it on high, for say, oh-I-don’t-know, 8.5 minutes, and leaving it there for the morning SDTers to find. EVERY EVENING. Just to see what signs would ensue. Maybe I’d even leave a pickle-cheese sandwich nearby as my signature, but maybe not.
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:31 am rating: 0
#40 Jacinda
Honestly, a lock?
I understand that people leaving the community microwave a mess can be irritating, but that’s when you step up and say “I’m an adult, I can deal”.
Some people are so OCD about having control. YIKES!
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#41 T-Bone
Paddy- that does explain a lot I think! Such rigid little people. Good God.
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:48 am rating: 0
#42 Andy
I wonder if the combination is “666″?
The great thing about that lock is that every time they open it up, they are probably saying, “If people could be RESPECTFUL, I wouldn’t have to have a bleeping lock on my microwave to burn my popcorn!”
Then they could say, “That burned popcorn was fucking delecious.”
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:01 am rating: 0
#43 Winifred Bagel
This is like in 2001 when the monkeys discover the bone can be used as a weapon.
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:09 am rating: 0
#44 TAJ
Someone needs to do a cultural study on microwaves. I’m pretty sure you could fill an encyclopedia with microwave signs/notes from every office and apartment around the world.
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:36 am rating: 0
#45 BoggyWoggy
The last note is excellent! What creativity!
Why don’t the other folks take time to put a retinal scanner on the microwaves?
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:54 am rating: 0
#46 Hexamillion
I had a flash of psychic insight regarding the mis-registered “i” circles: The writer first scrawls out the body of the message and then goes back and hurriedly/furiously fills in the circles over her “i’s”. The force of her anger pushes the circles over to the next character. I also had a vision of a vein pulsating at her left temple…mouth tersely pinched…eyes narrow and deadly. Abandon hope all ye who microwave here!
Jul 19, 2007 at 10:38 am rating: 0
#47 Writer, Rejected
They probably *do* burn their popcorn on purpose to get a rise out of the cubicle underclass and the microwaveless pleebs. Also, a microwave-protectional retinal scanner is brilliant. I hope someone looks into that.
Jul 19, 2007 at 10:38 am rating: 0
#48 will
Team Cheese and Pickles all the way.
Jul 19, 2007 at 11:18 am rating: 0
#49 Gwen
That last note is brilliant.
Jul 19, 2007 at 12:45 pm rating: 0
#50 Elizabeth
I think the Disney font of the first writer really does it for me…
Jul 19, 2007 at 12:50 pm rating: 0
#51 your dad
Team cucumber and cheese sandwiches. That’s pretty much all I ate when I lived in the UK for a summer.
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:36 pm rating: 0
#52 Rachel B.
Where can I go to donate 50p to the biscuit tin man? That is the only guy, in my opinion, that deserves a microwave!
Jul 19, 2007 at 2:55 pm rating: 0
#53 Sweet Jane
Ok, seriously, these comments are not helping my bar-studying-stress-induced food obsessions, which have grown from simple Doritos (that one was all my own doing) to tuna sandwiches (thanks, cubicle commenters) to, now, pickle and cheese sandwiches (toasted, must be toasted!), and I think I may have to go to the grocery store at 10:00 pm just so I can satisfy that particular craving.
Andy, I love you. Your post made me shout-laugh.
(I still love you, too, Writer, Rejected.)
Team That Was Fucking Delicious. And Cheese and Pickles.
Oh, and hey, Team Tomato and Cream Cheese Sandwiches. Those are pretty Effing D, also.
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:00 pm rating: 0
#54 Single Jane
love the last one
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:25 pm rating: 0
#55 Shannon from Canada
Wow . . . now this is the kind of post that make me love this blog even more!
Question I pose to all: How much time do the people who put the lock on the microwave have on their hands? SERIOUSLY! Do they not have work to do? Money to make so they can purchase a retinal scanner for the microwave? Good gosh, makes one ponder the question dose it not? Anal retentive snot goblins!
Now I want a cheese and pickle sandwich!
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:42 pm rating: 0
#56 Amber
Oh, Shannon from Canada, how I love you.
“Anal retentive snot goblins” made me spew Mt. Dew all over my desk. Thanks for the mess.
TEAM A-R-S-G AND CHEESE AND PICKLE SANDWICHES!
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:20 pm rating: 0
#57 Diego R.
This is simply hilarious! i’m all for team cheese-and-pickle sandwiches!
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:11 pm rating: 0
#58 becstar
There’s been yet *another* restructure at my government dept. We’ve got new floor buddies, who are a million times more social than the people I work with. Their use of the communal tearoom has sent many people into defensive battle modes - it’s so territorial, it’s fantastically ridiculous. Am waiting for the inevitable notes to appear and will post.
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:51 pm rating: 0
#59 legotech
totally team cheese and pickle sandwich.
Oh and the Disney font? try dafont.com tons of free fonts and I think I have that Disney one
Jul 19, 2007 at 10:20 pm rating: 0
#60 Rich C
I love the padlock!
Go team cheese & pickle sandwich!
Jul 20, 2007 at 5:46 am rating: 0
#61 Will
Would make a great “The Office” episode.
Jul 20, 2007 at 7:03 am rating: 0
#62 Indrid
I love the fight club reference in the last note, its freakin great.
Jul 21, 2007 at 9:18 am rating: 0
#63 penny
I’m with Team Cheese and pickle! There’s nothing more delicious than a slice of cheese and pickle on white bread. I’m too busy putting away 50 cents a week to save up for this ULTIMATE microwave. Hmm… come to think of it I should put a lock on my stapler. The upkeep of that is too much for my blood.
Jul 21, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#64 penny
By the way… I just had a cheese and pickle sandwich right now and it was FANTASTICAL!
Jul 21, 2007 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#65 Jill
Team Cheese-n-Pickles, you are made of win.
Jul 22, 2007 at 10:52 am rating: 0
#66 Lovecarrots
What a belter! All hail to the god (or goddess) with the common sense and the biscuit tin!
Jul 23, 2007 at 12:59 am rating: 0
#67 Dawn
I think that people who dot their i’s with circles have mental problems.
Jul 23, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 0
#68 Collaroy
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Each of the three signs are awesome! And how DO you manage to put a lock on the microwave?? That is so awesome. Boy, would I have fun in that office…
One of the best I’ve seen here so far. Love it, thank you so much for uploading this gem!
Jul 23, 2007 at 1:56 am rating: 0
#69 Mierin
there are three things you need to do.
1. Bring an easy-bake oven to work and put a fat chain and U bike lock around it.
2. Paint the exterior of the locked microwave in a thick coating of cheez-wiz.
3. Keep eating cheese and pickle sandwiches. Those things are fucking delicious.
Jul 23, 2007 at 6:21 am rating: 0
#70 Brian
I love the lock idea. I’m going to use it on the coffee pot I have out in the common area.
Jul 23, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: 0
#71 jamie
holy crap a freakin lock! how were they able to attach it so neatly??