An anonymous submitter in Jersey writes, “these ‘motivational signs’ are posted up in the copy room. I guess we’re supposed to pause and reflect upon whether we’re performing to the best of our abilities while waiting for our packets to cycle through the copier. All that the second one is missing is the ‘…shall we?’”
And all the first one needs is a little extra oomph…
33 responses so far ↓
#1
Talula0658
What, is the 2nd one saying, “So don’t take a vacation?” Because that’s how it comes off. Yuck.
Jul 24, 2007 at 8:39 pm rating: 8
#2
Tara
Sooo…never mess up and never take a vacation. Sounds like a stress-free work environment to me!
The deadlines one is kind of a no-brainer, but all of them have this rather conceited tone to them that would inspire rage/vandalism in me.
Yikes.
Jul 24, 2007 at 8:44 pm rating: 9
#3
Yak Boy
The “mistakes” one sounds like a family planning slogan. I think the poster at the bottom should have a picture of a fourteen-year old girl holding a baby.
Jul 24, 2007 at 8:55 pm rating: 13
#4
Lauren_Says
i often equate making mistakes at work to a shipwreck that probably killed a bunch of people.
Jul 24, 2007 at 9:06 pm rating: 11
#5
S.S.
Sounds like a great place to work, treating employees like kindergarten children and encouraging them not to take a vacation, because Lord knows the place will fall apart if the girl that delivers the files every morning decides to take a week off. I wonder what they do to pregnant employees…ask them to keep their hormones in check and to deliver with as little disruption to the company as possible.
Darling.
Jul 24, 2007 at 10:14 pm rating: 2
#6
iaresmart
I believe the poster with the shipwreck originally said “It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.” Its one of my favorites from despair.com
Jul 24, 2007 at 11:53 pm rating: 4
#7
Lovecarrots
I think if I worked there, like the person with the cheese and pickle sandwiches featured earlier on in the week, I would have to start leaving piss take versions of my own “motivational” posters…
Iaresmart, I too love despair.com – my favourite being “if you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly!”
Pretty sound life motto I’d say.
Jul 25, 2007 at 2:45 am rating: 0
#8
ALA
I also love despair.com! My favorite is the Bittersweet candies–the little Valentines hearts but with messages like “aim lower” and “prenup okay?”
http://despair.com/bittersweets.html
Jul 25, 2007 at 5:13 am rating: 0
#9
Writer, Rejected
I guess it depends on what kind of work bulletin board this is. It takes a different meaning if it’s a brain surgeon’s lounge vs. an insurance agency lunch room, right? Wouldn’t it be ironic, too, if it WERE an actual steam room aboard an ocean liner? “Be careful, not sorry.” Don’t sink the ship, worker babies.
Jul 25, 2007 at 6:16 am rating: 0
#10
GhostWriter
…and the author of the notes is:
Mistakes – a local Mafioso, informing his victims that missing a payment can be “sorrowful”.
Miss You – the same Mafioso, pointing out that taking a vacation does not excuse you from your monthly shake-down.
Deadlines – same Mafioso again, who forgot to add, “…or you’ll meet my friend Sal”
Jul 25, 2007 at 7:50 am rating: 1
#11
Brett
I didn’t get the feeling that the Miss You had to do with vacation, but rather with sick days.
Still, F-off. If I’m sick, it’s not your business if I take a sick day. If I’m not sick? Still not your business. Sheesh.
I think if I worked there I’d be more inclined towards a suicide day.
Jul 25, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 0
#12
T-Bone
All of those “motivational” signs seem quite sinister to me.
Jul 25, 2007 at 10:08 am rating: 1
#13
Camelai
I agree with Brett on the subject of sick and/or vacation days. Damn, but whoever posted that one had some balls.
I took off early one day at work, and one of my coworkers (whom I dislike greatly) told me “you can’t really take sick time unless you’re actually sick.”
My thought was, “That’s odd, because I think I did.” What I do with my sick/vacation days is my business, and that’s it.
Jul 25, 2007 at 11:21 am rating: 0
#14
Fraulein N
Damn, that is one depressing little copy room. There’s something about the font that just screams “Home-Ec circa 1974.”
Jul 25, 2007 at 11:36 am rating: 0
#15
Office GermWarfare Warrior
I found the best ones maybe order a few and replace the “Motivational” ones and see how the moral boosts! http://despair.com/viewall.html
I have GOALS http://despair.com/goals.html in my cube it really is a big lift when dealing with some of my coworkers to read it…
Jul 25, 2007 at 11:49 am rating: 0
#16
Sim Mom
Now I think I’ve been out of the business job force for too long. I dread the day when I have to give up my day job (stay at home mom) and go back into some soul-sucking place like this, where some dumbass suckup posts these signs.
I love despair.com, too. I would love to (anonymously) slip one of their posters into this office’s copy room.
Jul 25, 2007 at 12:50 pm rating: 0
#17
Daniel Hoffmann-Gill
Someone needs a punch in the ass…
Jul 25, 2007 at 1:44 pm rating: 1
#18
Sharona
All they need now is one that says, “Getting cancer drives up the cost of insurance for everyone.”
Jul 25, 2007 at 2:13 pm rating: 2
#19
Strideo
On Brett’s comment: if you’re sick and you take a sick day then fine. If you’re not sick and you take a sick day just because you don’t feel like going to work and you make some other poor sap have to cover for you then you’re a douche bag.
Jul 25, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: 1
#20
Joanna
LOL @ Sharona
Jul 25, 2007 at 2:41 pm rating: 0
#21
Writer, Rejected
I second the punch in the ass. Perfectly put.
Jul 25, 2007 at 9:10 pm rating: 0
#22
Marie
I’ve seen something similar to that “we miss you when you’re gone” slogan on a safety poster at work. It’s intended to mean “don’t get injured at work” rather than don’t be sick or take a vacation.
Though I agree that the “deadlines” sign is worthy of a punch in the ass.
Jul 25, 2007 at 9:40 pm rating: 0
#23
Collaroy
Oooh, I love dumbass motivational signs. To me, they are a source of constant merriment. Why o why do I have to work in an office where no-one is stuck-up enough to come up with those things? Everyone is so boringly normal around here.
@ Yak Boy- I’m with you, the 14-year old mom would have been an even better idea.
Jul 26, 2007 at 6:11 am rating: 0
#24
Brett
Strideo – then you work in a shitty office that doesn’t understand the concept of mental health. Look, I’m not saying take a sick day when you have a deadline, or a project looming, or to slough your work off on someone else. But my officemates seem to understand that sometimes one can’t take being there, and nobody says a word. Maybe you need to take a personal day with the classifieds if your office is so full of douchebaggery. Shrug.
Jul 26, 2007 at 6:26 am rating: 0
#25
joebec
that last one just makes me think of “titanic” and i want to go punch someone in the face. God, i hated that movie!
Jul 26, 2007 at 9:12 am rating: 0
#26
Andy
Bleah.
Signs like this are most likely written by the same people who walk around with a zombified smile all of the time, and can’t understand how you aren’t in a constant state of euphoria in work.
Sign me up for Team Punch Ass. Or is it Ass Punch? No, that’s silly. My ass can’t punch, or can it? Hmmm….
Jul 26, 2007 at 5:47 pm rating: 0
#27
rupert
The last one is from (hover on the link):
http://despair.com/
Which is a whole site dedicated to demotivation posters. Recommended site IMO. I don’t think the topic post meant to imply that one was found on-site, but rather it deserved professional treatment like from despair.com
YMMV
—
I think I saw the first 2 in the context of “losing an arm in a press” some years ago, probably metal shop in High school. In a copy room, its stupid. In a metal fabrication shop it makes a little more (obvious) sense.
Jul 27, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 0
#28
G-man
The sinking ship addition……well done monfrere…well done.
Jul 28, 2007 at 10:41 am rating: 0
#29
BoggyWoggy
The only sign that would enhance this collection is that stupid, “You’ve apparently mistaken m as someone who gives a damn,” crap folks hung on their desks a few years back. They thought it was funny…
One other idea? Put some of these stupid slogans on t-shirts and sell them at Target! Oh, wait, someone already thought of that…
Jul 28, 2007 at 5:53 pm rating: 0
#30
Dr. Nona
The rhythm of the first two is vaguely like a haiku. Hmmm.
Aug 8, 2007 at 7:40 pm rating: 0
#31
Down10
That deadlines one needs the “O RLY?” owl underneath it.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:36 am rating: 1
#32
Mrs. Bender
These remind me of the sign that Homer Simpson is faced with every day at the Nuclear Power Plant – “DON’T FORGET: YOU’RE HERE FOREVER” – I agree with T-Bone that they are “sinister” and almost scary!
Aug 22, 2007 at 1:24 pm rating: 2
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