I can’t stand this shit anymore.

July 25th, 2007 · 50 comments

Semarr prefaces this submission by saying: “I realize it’s not particularly *passive* aggressive, but in context it became so.” She explains:

There were eight people living in the house. One of them collected shelter cats and kept them in the basement. I found this note when I had come home from work very late at night. By morning, the board was blank and Jon L-W denied it ever existed, and all roommates at the next ‘house meeting’ refused to admit there were any aggressive undertones in house. Jon said he loved the cats. Other earlier voiced-behind-backs complaints were whole-heartedly denied.

My Disclaimer: This house smells like shit. I ate my dinner in shit tonight. The cats must GO or be in the basement permanently or, sad to say, I have to go, because I can't stand this shit anymore. Seriously, Jon L-W P.S. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

Adds Semarr: “I moved out a month later.”

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

FILED UNDER: cats · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · New Jersey · not-so-veiled threats · odor · roommates · shit · that's disgusting · whiteboard

50 responses so far ↓

  • #1   johnO

    Well good, you should have just moved out. 7 to 1 and apparently no one else had a problem. I feel your misery though, that doesn’t sound pleasant. Sometimes better to just leave them in their shit.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 1:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Bob

    Whereabouts in East Van was the house?

    Jul 26, 2007 at 2:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   letters

    oh yay! canadian content!

    while jon is a major wimp to deny writing that, having visited a cathouse like it – what EIGHT of them? – i can understand how he feel.s

    Jul 26, 2007 at 3:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Joanna

    I wonder why people don’t just clean up the cat box a couple times a day instead of living in nasty filth?

    Jul 26, 2007 at 3:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Tracy

    I especially love the “p.s. shit shit shit shit” part.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 5:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   ALA

    In the US if I were to say I visited a cathouse, everyone would think I visited a brothel :o)

    And by-the-by, his disclaimer?
    If he wanted a disclaimer, perhaps it should go like this…

    I hate these effing cats! I want them out of this effing house. I am tired of the cat sh!t smell–and god knows we aren’t getting our security deposit back, because everyone knows that YOU CANNOT GET THE SMELL OF CAT PEE OUT OF A HOUSE…EVER!! THE EFFING CATS MUST GO!!

    Disclaimer/Fine Print: In the event that I am confronted about this note, I will demonstrate my lack of spine by denying any knowledge of said note. I will also retract any and all criticisms heretofore made about the above mentioned cats in an attempt to deflect suspicion and blame.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 5:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   NONAME

    how could he deny it if there wss photographic evidence?

    Jul 26, 2007 at 5:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Lyra bang

      Lawyer: OBJECTION!
      *slams hands on desk* There is no proof that the defendent Jon ever wrote that note!

      Prosecutor: That’s where you’re wrong. His fingerprints were all over the board and the purple marker in question, lined with his fingerprints, was found under his pillow!

      I have been playing too much Phoenix Wright.

      May 22, 2008 at 4:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Alanna

    This is awesome… I know the feeling of living with a tonne of other people… how big was this place? And seriously, who collects cats when living with a bunch of people? If you’re going to become the crazy cat lady (or I guess man) don’t you usually have your OWN apartment? Hmmm

    Jul 26, 2007 at 5:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   super_fan#99

    Cats gotta go man. I would find a way to get rid of them. I wonder if you can train cats to fight…that could be interesting, maybe we should ask Mike Vick if he has any ideas.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 6:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Zsa

    I’m with Alanna~ #1 rule in the Crazy Cat Person Handbook is you must live alone.

    There has been a petition out for an amendment that 2 Crazy Cat People can live together, but the argument is you cant be quite as “crazy” if you have another person living with you.

    I think this website and this particular post is proof that your roommate can be just as crazy- and not affect your Crazy Cat Person standing!

    I cant wait until I am old with 30 cats, drinking gin from a coffee cup and yelling at the neighbor kids to get off my lawn. Now better yet, I can have roommates totorture with nasty catbox smell.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 8:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Goldie

    Cat smell is gross! LMAO @ #9.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 8:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Kristi

    I’m with Tracy – I too especially love the “p.s. shit shit shit shit” part.

    Team SHIT!

    ok not really.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 8:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   mahkrowave

    for anyone with cat infestation:

    cats love the antifreeze – it’s cheap and effective

    slurp slurp slurp

    Jul 26, 2007 at 9:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   joebec

    maybe it wasn’t john L W after all, maybe it was the gnomes. those fuckers can be so wiley!!

    Jul 26, 2007 at 9:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Stephanie

    Lmao Kristy. Me too…. team shit!

    Jul 26, 2007 at 9:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Psipsina

    I kind of liked the yin-yang at the top? What the??

    Jul 26, 2007 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   jeneria

    I adore cats, but “collecting” cats? What, like comic books? Cats are living creatures, not collectibles. And if you’re going to have multiple, then you need to be on top of that box. My friends have 5 and they clean their boxes twice a day, every day. It’s called responsibility, people.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 9:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Jeff

    Maybe it’s all a trick. Maybe Semarr lives in the matrix and it was some weird glitch.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 10:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Lovecarrots

    Luckily, in the UK if you’re going to take on one rescue cat they come vet your house to see if you’re suitable. It’s a little bit 1984 but after reading this, I can live with that since a student/yp pad with 7 others in situ would not be considered suitable!

    Jul 26, 2007 at 10:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   GhostWriter

    What a Master! First, he fools everybody with his Agressive-Agressive Sh!tstorm, and then, with a classic jujitsu reversal, he denies everything!

    “What note? I didn’t write a note, and it’s so funny that you think I did, becasue there’s no note on the board, now is there? I will, in fact, eat catsh!t right now, just to show you how much I like this place…”

    Jul 26, 2007 at 11:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Daniel Hoffmann-Gill

    I don’t think shit was said enough.

    Shit shit shit shit shit…

    Jul 26, 2007 at 12:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Bunny

    Are you fucking kidding me? Cats need sunlight to live, they aren’t goth teens, you stupid animal endangering fucks.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Psipsina

    I read somewhere that Cat Collecting is just a form of OCD. Makes sense – the compulsion is to just pick up another cat, then another, then another …

    Jul 26, 2007 at 1:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Writer, Rejected

    Maybe the cats wrote and erased the note to get John the eff out of the house because he is a hypocrite and does not truly appreciate their feline nature (and odors). Cats can be very clever when pushed to the basement wall.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 3:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Andy

    I just wished the note would have been written with the aforementioned cat shit.

    Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.

    Jul 26, 2007 at 5:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   Simster

    Hmmm…did you happen to take a photo of the note when you got home late at night, in which case it would be hard for L-W to deny OR, and this is what I suspect, are we seeing a recreation of the note as you remember it? In which case, was your late night vision of a note perhaps a manifestation of your own cat smell hating, aggressive undertone feeling, repressed anger rather than an actual note?

    Jul 26, 2007 at 10:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   GhostWriter

    ho – Ho – HO ! The Simster is on the Case !

    (I hadn’t even considered the “erased note quandry”)

    Jul 27, 2007 at 6:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   lauralaiwc

    oh man, i feel for the writer of this note though. i had a roommate several years back and we both had cats. i kept meticulous care of the litter box in my area, and i thought it was the only one, so couldnt figure out why it smelled like death in my apartment. i thought maybe her cat (ok, or mine) was crapping under furniture.
    i never went in her room, until i needed my cat for the vet, and my cat ran into the roommates room, where i found a littler box, no joking here, with about 8.5 inchesof cat crap above the top rim of the litter box. needless to say, i wrote her a very agressive note (cut through the passive crap) telling her i was leaving at the end of the month.
    thank god i had a month to month lease.

    but the writer should have had the balls to stand by being grossed out by the mess. i felt better once i left. i think my lungs started working better or something.

    Jul 27, 2007 at 7:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   semarr

    Yeah, this is a photo of the actual note. When I confronted him, I didn’t have my camera with me (I’d left it at school). And when he denied it, and everyone at the meeting said they hadn’t seen it… I was so baffled, rather than tell him I had photographic evidence, I just decided they were all lunatics and that I needed to move out.

    Jul 27, 2007 at 8:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   lauralaiwc

    i wouldve made the liar look at your evidence.

    Jul 27, 2007 at 8:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Andy

    lauralaiwc: Evidence? The photo or the shit? :)

    Jul 27, 2007 at 9:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Mierin

    The Cat Rules

    1. Thou shalt never, ever take in more than one stray. Ever.
    2. pregnant cats counteth as more than one cat.
    3. The cats shall not outnumber the humans.
    4. Thou shalt fix thy cat.
    5. The litterbox is to be emptied no less than once a day, and the entire litter shall be changed no less than once a month.
    6. thou shalt not adopt cats that stink, nor cats that are covered in fleas, scabs, or otherwise afflicted with cat plague.

    Cats are hunters. They’ll be fine left outside. You don’t need to save every cat ever. They’re animals, they’re happier sleeping under a bush hunting rodents than they are living in their own filth trapped in a basement, procreating with their siblings.

    Jul 27, 2007 at 12:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   caw

    awesome! this made me laugh so hard i nearly snorted ginger ale out thru my nose while trying to drink it.

    Jul 27, 2007 at 2:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   Luke


    Sarcasm? Or … photosynthesis?

    Jul 27, 2007 at 11:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Rorshach

    heh, if it wasn’t your whiteboard, if you ever have a problem again, use permanent marker. takes a lot more to erase the message. }:-)

    Jul 29, 2007 at 8:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   Veronica

    Rorshach: When a friend of mine was living with me, there was a whiteboard on our fridge for notes to eachother (ie, if someone left early, to let others know where they were, etc). We had an inside joke about the phrase “Are you cereal?!” and we wrote it on the board. My grandma would come and erase it, and we’d just put it back up there because we still thought it was funny. She’d always come later that day and erase it. So we wrote it in permanent marker…and she somehow managed to get it to be a big black smear instead of words. So THEN we wrote it in permanent marker, followed by several layers of clear nail polish. Needless to say we won the battle of the write-on/wipe-off board, and after more than a year, that board STILL says “Are you cereal?!”

    Jul 30, 2007 at 5:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   Ruppert Jenkins

    That’s the kinda house you need to have an all-day carbon monoxide leak in when the humans are way, if you know what I mean.

    Aug 2, 2007 at 11:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Dr. Nona

    I feel bad for the cats being kept in the basement. :( It’s true though, if you have multiple cats, you really gotta be on top of keeping the box clean.

    I also think cats can control the stinkiness of their shit — if someone they don’t like is in the house, they’ll make an extra stinky shit. I have these friends whose cats do that whenever I come over. The cat does an overpoweringly stinky shit, apparently just for me. They tell me the cat doesn’t do it when I’m not over.

    Aug 9, 2007 at 10:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   Cyn

    Hey yall, I have laughed so hard I cried since I started reading these. What an asshole! Write about your bitches, then deny it. I say they should’ve made some dinner for him w/ a little of said cat shit in it. I love cats, LOVE them, but you can’t keep em in the damned basement, for God’s sake. Freak. God. And you can’ t have 5000 of them either. Give some cats away, fix the rest of them, pare down some, but never, never allow anyone in your house that doesn’t like cats. They are sub-human. When I was dating, if a guy didn’t like cats, he wasn’t for me. :0)

    Aug 17, 2007 at 12:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #40   chuck

    I love CATS they taste like chicken

    Aug 24, 2007 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #41   rick

    cats love anti-freeze and for you idiots that say give them away get a grip these are rodents that even the animal shelter wont pick up. so chances of giving them away are slim. get a big dog, drop them off near a chinese rest, or just give them a anti-freeze cocktail.

    Aug 24, 2007 at 8:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #42   dr. freud’s salon scatologica

    [...] related: i can’t stand this shit anymore [...]

    Dec 4, 2007 at 1:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #43   Mike Paanaha

    im tired of my gf shit

    Jan 24, 2008 at 10:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #44   Eric

    Eating your dinner in shit is fucking delicious.

    May 17, 2008 at 6:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #45   terry wagar

    In portland oregon, Joan Wagar and Eric Carlson are in A Murder conspiracy together.
    And Clackamas Walmart are acttively helping them by hideing Eric’s employment there from me and my family.
    For over A year now Eric Carlson has been going by the name gashel, last name unknown by me, he dyed his hair black, and Walmart agreed to hide his Identity from my daughter, who also worked at that store.
    Joan and Eric have friends in Authority protecting Joan and Eric from prosecution.
    I have reported this repeatedly to the Authority’s and they are ignoring Joan and Eric’s CONSPIRACY.
    I would be more than happy to Testify to this but the Authority’s are covering this up so my testimony would simply dissapear.
    My name is Terry Wagar and Im backing up these charges.
    Nomatter how many people Joan and Eric poisoned the Authority’s here in portland Oregon refuse to arrest them.
    Im making these charges public because of the blatent coverup of these charges.
    why is Walmart hideing A BodyDouble?

    Jun 19, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Mishee bang

      Thank You Terry! Goodbye now! :)

      Jun 19, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #45.2   RunBarbara bang

      Do you know Anthony Grosso?

      Jun 19, 2008 at 4:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #46   passive-allergic | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: The cats must go! [...]

    Mar 12, 2010 at 3:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #47   the cats go or i go -

    [...] Pinned on October 25, 2012 at 11:47 am by admin Repin Like From flickr Sharewww.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/07/25/i-cant-stand-th… [...]

    Oct 25, 2012 at 6:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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