Entries from July 2007
An anonymous submitter in Jersey writes, “these ‘motivational signs’ are posted up in the copy room. I guess we’re supposed to pause and reflect upon whether we’re performing to the best of our abilities while waiting for our packets to cycle through the copier. All that the second one is missing is the ‘…shall we?’”
And all the first one needs is a little extra oomph…
Tags: "helpful" advice · New Jersey · office
Bill snapped this photo at a liquor store in middle-of-nowhere Tennessee, 40 miles east of Memphis. Like this one and this one, it’s more crazy than passive-aggressive — but too good to pass up.
Adds Bill: “From what the friend I was visiting told me, the store aired religious TV every hour it was open. Except on Sundays, that is… because that’s when they turned on NASCAR. IT also had the widest array of bum wines (MD 20/20, Wild Irish Rose, etc.) that I have ever seen.”
Tags: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · crazypants · more aggressive than passive · Tennessee
This note is from an the Philippines, but don’t try and write this off entirely as a “cultural thing.”
Camille in Manila says she finds “do not step on the toilet bowl” quite baffling, too, adding “stepping on the toilet could also mean probably stepping ‘into’ the toilet bowl itself, which is rather, uh, gross.”
Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · office · Philippines · toilet
Sometimes, a little complaining is necessary.
(Submitted by Jeremiah in Little Rock, Arkansas.)
Tags: Arkansas · cleaning · dishes · dogs · martyr complex · money · roommates · shit
Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.
It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:
…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.
Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:
…which prompted this note on the wall between them:
related: No smelly foods
Tags: Belfast · kitchen · microwave · note wars · office · saga · spelling and grammar police
“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”
Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.
Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)
Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office
This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.
(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)
related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"
Explains an anony-dad in St. Louis: “I asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened with the kids during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. I guess it offended her.”
An awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?
related: Happy to be of service
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · St. Louis · thanks (but not really)
alanna lives in a house in ottawa with nine other girls, where “dishes are always being left in the sink dirty and growing stuff, or clean on the counter taking up space.” a note war has commenced on the window above the fridge.
by popular demand, alanna has helpfully posted another picture showing the underlying notes!
Tags: Canada · dishes · excessive underlining · kitchen · note wars · Ottawa · roommates
This exercise in mass shaming is brought to us by Rocky in San Diego, who notes: “These are 5-year-olds playing T-ball.”
related: A new tactic for Pre-K school fundraising…public shaming?
Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · Moms & Dads · money · public shaming · San Diego · unnecessary "quotation marks"