“Apparently our growing satellite office has some food thieves,” says an anonymous submitter in Ontario.
FILED UNDER: Canada · e-mail · food · office · office fridge · Ontario · reverse psychology · sarcasm · stealing
Ah. Refreshingly humorous! I like this one – if I got this at work, I wouldn’t be annoyed, I’d laugh my ass off. If it was strident and whiney I would be really aggravated, so I think this was a particularly clever use of passive aggressive email.
Aug 1, 2007 at 6:53 am rating: 7
That’s great! See, more you know, the more you grow.
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:06 am rating: 0
The sarcasm makes this one a classic of the genre.
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:17 am rating: 2
I wanted to love it, but I’m just confused. What does it really mean? “Don’t eat more than half of the total…” and “never finish any food.” Are these rules sarcastic suggestions for food-stealers, or comments on how the fridge is piling up with near-empty tupperware?
…and if Rule #1 is usually followed, why mention it? Our office doesn’t open sealed packages!?! What does that MEAN??
I must be movin’ kinda slow today….
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:28 am rating: 1
I totally agree.
It’s kind of like the author started on a reverse psychology sarcastic funny idea, but it only worked for thef irst rule. The rest seem forced and don’t really flow as well. Don’t fit the concept really.
Aug 4, 2008 at 8:18 pm rating: 1
Seems like some of the sarcastic complaints are towards the fridge users and not the thieves. Weird note. Anyways, Team Leaves Little Bits of Food in Tupperware in Your Office Fridge.
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:37 am rating: 0
Oh, the time I would waste at work there thinking up clarification questions. What fun!
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:48 am rating: 0
I am a big fan of sarcasm. This is a 4 star note!
Aug 1, 2007 at 8:28 am rating: 0
Go Team Thieves!
Aug 1, 2007 at 9:10 am rating: 0
Thumbs up for the writer of this one! But one must wonder… will the offending persons be sharp enough to understand sarcasm, grasp the message, and thus change their behavior? My money’s on “no.”
Aug 1, 2007 at 9:54 am rating: 2
GhostWriter – #4 can still be advice to thieves. I ended up leaving a note once at my office which requested that if people were going to finish my milk they at least throw out the carton so I knew I had to buy more BEFORE I made coffee. (which I did not self-submit here, thanksverymuch)
Aug 1, 2007 at 10:15 am rating: 0
julia: I agree, you’ll probably not reach the offending parties with those messages, but a lot of the time, these messages/notes/signs are more a stress relief for people. I think that’s why we can see extremes at times, which makes them more enjoyable.
Aug 1, 2007 at 10:28 am rating: 0
The sarcasm in that was just dripping, like leftover melted cheese off stolen enchiladas.
Speaking of, I once brought such to the office (leftovers from dinner the previous night) and they vanished along with the container I brought them in. I left a note asking if the container could be returned.
The next day the container was in the kitchen, freshly washed with a note that said “Thank you for lunch, sorry I had to steal it but it smelled good”
So my advice for the original note writer is to mention something about opening containers to smell them (probably to figure out if someone spiked something benign with pepper sauce).
Aug 1, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 1
once upon a time I had a pint of ice cream in a shared freezer, clearly marked with my name, death threats, etc. there was a thief who very carefully scraped an even layer off the top of my ice cream once a night for about a week.
once I misspelled thief in a spelling bee.
Aug 1, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
I think this note is a great concept, but it’s not executed as sharply as it could have been. I agree with others that the rules are too similar and are confusing, as if she couldn’t quite hold her sarcasm throughout the entire note. She needed a comedy writer on this one. I say, Team Thieves (also a hard word to spell).
Aug 1, 2007 at 12:03 pm rating: 1
I give it a B+ The writer could have gone into painfully vivid detail about the feelings of loss after finding an empty, dirty container where lunch used to be.
I however, find the thought of opening my tupperware and finding only two bites left of my lunch horrifying. Scathingly, starving my unborn child, agressive-agressive note-worthy.
Aug 1, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: 2
There is no food so compelling that would cause me to eat something not my own out of a shared fridge at work. People who steal food must have balls so big they have trouble walking.
Aug 1, 2007 at 5:20 pm rating: 0
shared fridge = lunch thief = germ farm roulette
I’d say there is a cold sore in someones future
Aug 1, 2007 at 7:22 pm rating: 1
ewwww. Hard to follow that thought.
I have to agree with Erin. I have never, ever thought of taking someone’s food! Even if it didn’t have a name or death threats. It just seems so wrong.
Am I normal?
Aug 1, 2007 at 8:57 pm rating: 1
Very nice. Maximum P/A
Aug 2, 2007 at 4:52 am rating: 0
“Eating somebody else’s food, if done improperly, can cause undeserired feelings in the owner.” – best passive aggressive phrase in a while
Aug 5, 2007 at 1:07 pm rating: 0
Foraging. Just like a bear. Somebody used the thesauuuuuruuussss.
Aug 6, 2007 at 11:49 pm rating: 0
when i was in the military, we had an open container policy, if there was an open container of anything out on someones desk and it was ungaurded, it was fair game
made you watch your 6 a lot more
Aug 27, 2007 at 4:33 pm rating: 1
— Ed Decatur
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
most popular notes of 2013
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?