i’m just gonna let ben from d.c. set this one up:
Last October, I moved from one apartment to another on fairly short notice. The kid I found on craigslist to take my spot really wanted to move in a few days early, which was incredibly inconvenient for me. However, I agreed, so I spent most of halloween weekend moving my stuff out. The one thing I couldn’t move was my futon, because it wouldn’t fit on top of my car. I figured he’d give me a little leeway though, since I’d done him a favor, and I came back to pick it up November 10. A week later I came home to find this amazing passive-aggressive e-mail from him:
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
123 responses so far ↓
#1 Katie
I really hope he doesn’t pay the $76. What an ass.
Aug 2, 2007 at 7:49 pm rating: 0
#2 Daniela
The kid had no legal right to charge him anything. If he had an issue with the futon being there, he should have asked Ben to move it on the 29th. You can’t charge someone for ’storage’ space without there being an agreement between the two parties, and especially not after the fact.
I sincerely hope you didn’t pay, Ben. Though it would have been nice to give the kid a token of your appreciation for storing the futon for so long (i.e. a small box of chocolates, etc…).
Aug 2, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: +1
#3 jfruh
Admittedly the e-mail drips with passive aggression, and charging him $76 is a dick move. That said, did Ben not, you know, ask if he could leave his futon there? I think it would have been reasonable to say “Look, you’re really putting me out by moving in early, so do me a favor and let me leave this futon here until I can get a truck to move it”, but it seems like the new tenant never got that memo and might have thought that Ben just abandonned it. I’m on Team Everybody Should Communicate Their Desires Clearly, is what I’m saying.
I think I would have just put the futon out at the curb around day six. Or been really passive aggressive and told Ben that I had been having tons of sex on it, sans sheets, when he came to pick it up.
Aug 2, 2007 at 8:17 pm rating: +2
#4 yay
I like how this site is turning into the People’s Internet Court.
Aug 2, 2007 at 9:02 pm rating: 0
#5 Daniela
>>I think I would have just put the futon out at the curb around day six. Or been really passive aggressive and told Ben that I had been having tons of sex on it, sans sheets, when he came to pick it up.
Aug 2, 2007 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
#6 Daniela
Aw, the rest of my post disappeared!
jfruh’s idea is perfect.
Aug 2, 2007 at 9:28 pm rating: 0
#7 Ceryniti
He should have just left it with the guy. No responce, no money. After a certain amount of time of something being left in an apartment, isn’t it considered abandoned? In which case, nothing can be charged.
But why not just take the thing and use it?
Aug 2, 2007 at 9:48 pm rating: 0
#8 agirlie
whatadink
Aug 2, 2007 at 9:57 pm rating: 0
#9 m
this comment only makes sense if there was a real communication between ben and the new tenant…
the kid moved in earlier than expected… was it 10 days earlier? if he moved in the same amount of time earlier as the time the futon was in his room, then he wasn’t put out by having it there.
Aug 2, 2007 at 10:14 pm rating: 0
#10 M@
I’d say Ben is the PA one here - he’s obviously put out by the fact that this guy moved in early, but then ‘figured’ he’d cut him some slack without asking.
It’s a matter of simple common sense; if you want a near-stranger to do you a favour (even if you think you’re entitled to it), ask them politely, don’t just assume it won’t be a problem. Particularly where you’re failing to follow through with something you’ve undertaken to do!
Aside from the demand for cash, the kid’s email seems a pretty reasonable reaction to me; I’d have been sorely tempted to donate the futon to a charity by about day five. And it’s a little hypocritical to criticise the medium since Ben’s communication (or lack thereof) was the catalyst for the whole situation in the first place.
Thereby, I find in favour of team-anonymous-kid-who-moved-in-three-days-early and sentence Ben to five minutes of ironic embarrassment for publicly making a tool of himself.
Aug 2, 2007 at 10:59 pm rating: +3
#11 ian
A bed is such a personal thing to me that to leave it in the hands of a stranger for only a few days would creep me out. I’d never be able to sleep comfortably on it again.
Aug 2, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#12 MattFM
What a jackass! If he wants to be anal about the details, send him 76 Monopoly Dollars, since he didn’t specify which type of dollar he wanted.
Aug 3, 2007 at 12:06 am rating: +4
#13 Steve
I’ll bet this guy’s lunch money got stolen many, many times in grammar school.
Aug 3, 2007 at 12:15 am rating: 0
#14 Ben
Wow. Talk about having a stick up your arse.
Aug 3, 2007 at 12:34 am rating: 0
#15 skdjf
shove the $76 up his ass
Aug 3, 2007 at 3:22 am rating: 0
#16 hk
Tantamount? Delineate? I think I would charge HIM for all the five dollar words he used. Looks like someone got a new thesaurus! What a nerd!
Aug 3, 2007 at 4:02 am rating: +1
#17 Susan
I’m with MattFM - send the little weenie $76.00 in Monopoly money!!
**Notice there is NO mention of a “team” in this post. (My own P.A. moment here - ah, I love Fridays!)
Aug 3, 2007 at 5:29 am rating: 0
#18 Dustin Sullivan
This kid should have called Ben on Monday the 30th and told him to get his freaking futon out of his room or he was going to stick it out on the curb.
This e-mail is just ridiculous.
Aug 3, 2007 at 5:42 am rating: 0
#19 Penelope
I love to help other people, and I will keep doing it because I was helped by total strangers in quite a few occasions.
But sometimes the ingratitude one receives is directly proportional to the favour delivered.
Aug 3, 2007 at 5:43 am rating: 0
#20 Steve
Given the OTT billing structure going on here (eg, comparing storage rate of a bit of the room to a rented cube somewhere), I wonder if Ben should just send back an invoice for the time spent out of his day to read that email, which could have been otherwise used earning money. $76 perhaps?
Aug 3, 2007 at 5:50 am rating: 0
#21 Max Roswell
This is douchery of the highest order. I hope Ben sent the kid a nice, juicy “fat chance” email.
Aug 3, 2007 at 5:53 am rating: 0
#22 Goldie
The kid’s rent started on November 1, right? Charge him for October 28 through 31 (feel free to subtract the $76, of course). Use the cheapest hotel rate in the Washington, DC area to calculate how much he owes you. You may want to charge him double for the holiday.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:03 am rating: +2
#23 Heather
Tantamount? Delineate? Equitable?
This may be the best vocabulary we’ve seen yet from a passive-agressive note-leaver.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:07 am rating: 0
#24 Allie
I don’t think this is passive. He’s asking for money! This is outright aggressive. And what a jackass! He should have called or emailed him and asked when he’d be able to get the damn thing out and have accepted that because he was pushing him to leave early that it wouldn’t be a perfect move.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:16 am rating: 0
#25 Jessica
“Team Everybody Should Communicate Their Desires Clearly” - ha! That’s funny! Never going to happen.
Yeah, email dude got his ass seriously kicked, many times, in school - that much is obvious. Total mama’s boy dork.
Ben, if you didn’t, you should have asked if you could leave it there for a few days.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:18 am rating: 0
#26 Sara
Team Futon! He should have left it there longer!
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:26 am rating: 0
#27 ginger
man alive, what a fuckwit. he could just as easily have emailed way before asking when he was picking up the damn thing.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:30 am rating: 0
#28 PatHMV
“I feel that you took advantage of me.” The kid’s obviously been in therapy; he’s learned the “proper” way to communicate, using “I” messages and not “you” messages. See, he’s not being P-A, because by using an “I” message, he’s “taking responsibility for his feelings,” not accusing the futon-leaver of causing him to feel a certain way.
Anyway, I’ve got $10 (real, not monopoly!) on the e-mailer being a law student, about to start law school, or at least planning to go to law school as soon as he gets out of college.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:46 am rating: +2
#29 mahkrowave
Yeah all those big words but the imbecile still doesn’t know the past tense of “to pay”.
If I move in somewhere, and there is any furniture there that I don’t like, I move it out. Out into the common room, out into the hallway, out into the basement, or out into the curb. Unless you have a specific agreement with me about the furniture, it’s mine to do with what I please.
I certainly wouldn’t sit there for a week and stare at the futon and get all verklempt about it.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:47 am rating: 0
#30 Julie
I’d be pretty mad if I moved into an apartment that still had someone else’s stuff in it. Ben should have asked if it was alright to leave the futon there until he could make arrangements to pick it up.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:49 am rating: 0
#31 the sos
Yeah, for real. It’s just a fucking futon, for christ’s sake. Move that shit into the hall, call the guy and let him know he “forgot” it, and depending on what he says go from there. If he asks to leave it for a week, fine. Seven days later if it’s still there put it out front for some dumpster diver to take (it grosses me out to think that someone would take a bed off of the side of the road but there are those people out there).
The more I think about it, the more I find myself giggling about the asshat who thinks he’s gonna get 76 smackers for futon storage…what a maroon.
Aug 3, 2007 at 6:58 am rating: 0
#32 Brigid Keely
When we moved into the last place we moved into, the previous tennant left behind a dresser, the glass top to a table or desk, and a king sized iron bed frame. He said he’d be back for them “in a few days.” After tripping over them for a month we moved them down into the basement. Dressers, sheets of glass, and iron bed frames are heavy.
Unless the new lease was supposed to start on November 11th or something, it’s pretty jackassy of the poster to just leave his large, heavy crap lying around someone’s living area.
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:01 am rating: 0
#33 Dave
Actually, depending on the law in that state, the furniture probably wouldn’t be considered abandoned until thirty-sixty days. I had a situation where a roomie moved out and my attorney friend said that I had to wait before disposing of property the roomie left behind - even though he had bailed owing me rent money.
Had the douche put the futon on the curb without contacting Ben, he may have been liable. On the other hand, I think a judge would laugh this right out of court either way.
Ben should send the Monopoly money, IMO.
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:01 am rating: +1
#34 Katy
>Penelope
Ain’t THAT the truth. I once introduced a friend with a good singing voice to a minor music producer, who offered her a contract.
Almost a year later, she put out no music whatsoever, her producer is pissed at her, and she treated me like shit for sassing her in the days after I and another friend found out that a story she publicly posted about being sexually assaulted was completely false.
I don’t get no respect!
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:11 am rating: 0
#35 Nowai
Holy cow!! What a jerk-off.
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:13 am rating: 0
#36 landshark
So the new tenant lived in the apartment for two days rent free, before his lease kicked in on the first…and now he acts like he’s doing Ben a favor by not charging pro-rated rent for futon storage?
What a douche.
Team Ben!
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:16 am rating: 0
#37 PatHMV
What’s really going on is the new tenant wants to keep the futon. He lived there for 10 days, got used to it, and didn’t want to give it back. He figured if he was enough of an asshat, Ben would decide that the futon wasn’t worth the hassle, and would just never come by to get it.
Ben, now that you’ve got us all worked up, and seeing as how this happened 8 or 9 months ago, why not go ahead and tell us what happened after you got the e-mail.
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:20 am rating: 0
#38 PatHMV
By the way, where’s everybody getting the idea that the guy got a few days in the apartment rent-free. Ben never said that he didn’t charge the guy a pro-rated amount for that early 3 days at the end of October. Maybe the guy got offended by Ben’s demand for that, and was doing the bit with the futon as pay-back.
Also, Ben, did the guy say anything about money when you actually picked up the futon on Nov. 10?
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:25 am rating: 0
#39 Calm down, calm down — Rob Mansfield
[...] love passiveaggressivenotes.com and this recent offering about a guy threatening to charge someone for leaving their futon in an apartment is the work of [...]
Aug 3, 2007 at 7:41 am rating: 0
#40 Sazai
That guy needs to chill out. It’s called renting an apartment. Stuff like this happens, especially if you get your apartment through Craigslist. Especially if you insist on moving in sooner than posted.
Haaa, when I moved into my new apartment, I inherited a $2000 leather chair. A 3-foot square(!) chair for a 200 square foot apartment! It’s huge. But it’s super comfortable and they must have crane lifted it into my apartment during renovations to make it less-obviously a tenement building. The damn thing literally won’t fit through the door, let alone the 18-inch wide stairwell. I think that’s a bit more obnoxious than living with a futon for less than 2-weeks. And yet, I’m not crying, I ‘m not making unreasonable demands from the guy who lived here before me, or bitching to my landlord, or super.
Get OVER yourself.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:00 am rating: 0
#41 Goldie
#37, totally. The whole email could be replaced by “dude, where’d my futon go?”
When we moved into our house, the previous owner left tons of stuff behind. Some of it his friend stopped by and picked up a few days after we got the keys. Some of it we’re still using, a lot of it we took to Goodwill or put out on the curb. I don’t remember being too upset about his things sitting around, though. The man gave us a good deal on a very decent house, we all felt he deserved to be given some leeway. In fact we waited like six months for him to come back and get his stuff before we started getting rid of it. Unless the futon took up all living space, it’s really no big deal IMO. That said, Ben should have definitely warned the guy the day he moved out.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:02 am rating: 0
#42 Veronica
This kid really seems way too uptight about the situation, although I can understand his frusteration. It would irritate me too, if someone just LEFT things in my room after telling me that everything would be out by that weekend. I might even just assume that it had been abandoned and get rid of it myself.
All Ben needed to was say, “Look, I won’t have a truck to move my futon until November, 10th. And since I’m feeling a little put-out because you wanted to move early, will it be alright for me to just leave the futon until next week when I can pick it up?” Chances are, the kid wouldn’t have minded at all. Most people are pretty understanding if you just let them know what’s going on. When things just DON’T HAPPEN when they are supposed to, with NO communication, that’s when people get all pissy and send passive-aggressive e-mails.
With that said, this kid did go overboard, charging him “storage” is just silly. A phone call or e-mail after day 3 or 4, saying “Hey, come get your crap out of my room” would have been enough, if he’d just called/e-mailed to see what was going on after a couple of days, Ben probably would have explained the situation.
It’s amazing what a little communication can do, huh?
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:07 am rating: 0
#43 Dennis
If you read the details in the email, you will see that those first few days in that room were rent free, “November 10, 12 days after you assured me everything would be gone and 1o days after I started paying for the room.”
Ben: Bill him rent for the extra days and deduct his $76 ’storage fee’… but you should have communicated to him you’d need extra time to get the futon.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:13 am rating: 0
#44 will
Dear New Tennant,
Please use the futon to go fuck yourself on.
Sincerely,
Bill
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:16 am rating: 0
#45 Ginevra
>PatHMV, the emailer says that the futon was picked up on Nov. 10, ten days after he started paying for the room. So it seems he didn’t pay a prorated amount for the three or four days in October.
So basically Ben not only already paid the rent for the days at the end of October that New Guy was living there, but also went to some trouble to accommodate New Guy’s move-in schedule. I think the futon could have been tolerated a bit more graciously, even if a heads-up from Ben about the later futon pickup would have been nice.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:23 am rating: 0
#46 PatHMV
Thanks, Dennis. I missed that even after several re-reads. In that case, your solution is spot on. Ben should have sent him a return e-mail assessing a 2-day rental fee for the room.
The futon-hater is guilty of accepting Ben’s generosity in not charging rent for the 2 days, or anything extra for the hassle of moving out earlier than the advertised date, and then not extending the same generosity in return.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:25 am rating: 0
#47 Darby
I would have gone to this guys house and beat him to death if I got an email like that from him. What a faggot!!!
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:32 am rating: 0
#48 Elaine
Uh…I wouldn’t go that far, Darby.
The new tenant committed the number one crime of the passive-aggressive: went on too long on some sort of existential kick. The storage rate assessment was ridiculous enough, but the fact that he felt the need to riff on Ben’s violation of his “boundaries” and how he was taken advantage of is just beyond the pale. I am guessing he relished writing this e-mail simply in order to assert his personhood and really hash out his futon concern. This is a ridiculous, ridiculous person. Word to the guy who said he’s a future (bad) lawyer.
(Disclaimer: I am friends with Ben. Go Ben!)
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:39 am rating: 0
#49 Zsa
Verklempt~ love it! Now how am I going to insert that into a conversation at work today??
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:40 am rating: 0
#50 T-Bone
I agree that someone needs to go over there and kick this kid in the ass for being such a pompous little turd.
Interesting the kid’s in D.C.- probably pursuing some kind of political career. Super.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:40 am rating: 0
#51 Erica
A simple “My generosity has expired, your futon is going to the alley,” would have sufficed.
Future politicians and/or lawyers of America scare me for this very reason.
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:55 am rating: 0
#52 ijRoberts
Hey Elaine! If you know Ben, tell him to check back with us and give us the rest of the story!
And come on, Darby, keep your bigotry in check, man.
Aug 3, 2007 at 9:02 am rating: 0
#53 Writer, Rejected
Wow, he got estimates from 4 storage places. I call that anal passive-aggression (APA), but I must agree with Max that this is deuchery of the highest order. Any normal person would have put the futon in the living room and decorated the room around it, then not answered the door when Ben came to get it. The end.
Aug 3, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#54 PatHMV
Erica… that’s the bizarre thing. He sent this e-mail AFTER Ben had actually picked up the futon.
And yes, Elaine, please would you or Ben gives us the rest of the story?
Aug 3, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#55 Maggie
Uh, tell him no………
Aug 3, 2007 at 9:34 am rating: 0
#56 Judy
I dunno.. If Ben had said from the get-go that he was having trouble with the futon, or that it would take 10 days to get it out, maybe the guy wouldn’t have been so wrapped around the axle.
But he promised repeatedly that he’d take it away, and the guy couldn’t leave it out on the curb (because Ben was going to come get it… soon… or kinda soon…. or tomorrow… or maybe in a week or so) so he’s stuck with this damn futon wondering when the hell it’s going to be gone.
Conclusion: they’re both annoying and bad at communicating.
Aug 3, 2007 at 9:43 am rating: 0
#57 Joanna
Wow.
He was “taken advantage of?”
What, did the futon get a bit too touchy-feely?
Aug 3, 2007 at 10:01 am rating: 0
#58 Andy
My guess is that the young guy is either a law student or just graduated pre-law. Either way, he seems to take himself a bit too seriously.
I say, take him to court, The People’s Court. What do you think, Rusty?
Aug 3, 2007 at 10:21 am rating: 0
#59 Talea
Are you fucking kidding me? Like, seriously? This is totally the kid that got wedgied every day in school for pullling shit like that.
Aug 3, 2007 at 10:23 am rating: 0
#60 Carol
Just goes to show ya. Give someone an inch and they take a mile.
Aug 3, 2007 at 10:35 am rating: 0
#61 Potbelly
Moving out early for someone else’s convenience is a big deal. The rebuttal should simply have been to send a bill for the early days at a hotel rate, then subtract the $76 and demand payment of the remainder, which would be more no matter how you slice it, as the guy didn’t just need a place to sleep he needed a place for all his stuff too.
Personally, I would have called the futon guy when the thing began pissing me off and said I was putting it on the curb. Or I would have just set it up in the living area for use until he got around to collecting it.
Aug 3, 2007 at 10:40 am rating: 0
#62 Andy
This is a great definition of passive/aggressive: He passively allows the futon to stay in his apartment, not getting in contact with the owner, then waiting until said futon is gone, then sending out that dreck. Yecch.
Aug 3, 2007 at 10:56 am rating: 0
#63 BoggyWoggy
The line, “delineate my boundaries and react reasonably,” in itself is reason enough for smacking this jerk on the side of the head in complete aggressive fashion.
I hate him and I’ve never even met him!
This is the sort of think a sibling would do to another sibling…classic!
Aug 3, 2007 at 11:00 am rating: 0