This note comes to us from an archaeological dig in the U.K. (Roman Silchester, to be precise), where our submitter says the planning team was quite worried about the writing instruments going the way of Ancient Rome.
“Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.”