our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in chicago. her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box. “i found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “my dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. i’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”
in her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “i have never (that i can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of salt n pepa: “if i wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
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101 responses so far ↓
#1 Andy
Well, I don’t know what to say. The note-writers seem to be a bit too detailed on her comings and goings (hrm… pun not intended), but it seems to be somewhat obnoxious behavior on her part.
However, it seems to me that condo owners and neighborhood association members are some of the more tightassed members of society.
I do like the attempt to sound all official with the description of the incidents, etc. Very fancy!
Aug 12, 2007 at 5:44 pm rating: 0
#2 robin
oh puke!
Aug 12, 2007 at 5:52 pm rating: 0
#3 Aoife
Personally I would have serious difficulty mustering up the embarrassment/concern that I’m sure this letter was intended to provoke, for one simple reason.
LOOK AT THAT GRAMMER!!
Mother of God…How do the condo owners expect to suceed with that kind of carry-on???
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:14 pm rating: 0
#4 Ivy
LMAO, the hallway reeks of substance. That cracks me the hell up.
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#5 Super_Fan#99
sounds like my kind of girl
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#6 Ceryniti
If it bothers them, tell them to move into a retirement home where everyone is asleep and on their happy pills (quietly, which is no fun) by 9pm.
Otherwise, girl’s gonna party. Why the fuck not, that is what youth is for, yes?
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:22 pm rating: 0
#7 sarah
or….look at that grammar?
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:39 pm rating: 0
#8 Me3
“i have never (that i can remember) regurgitated in the garage”? Wow. That’s wildly convincing.
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:46 pm rating: +3
#9 anglophile
“she was regurgitating to no extent all the way”–does that mean she was or wasn’t? Is every member of the Condominium Owners group a grade-school drop out? And let’s hear more about the three people living together as Section 8 on the ninth floor! That sounds promising.
Aug 12, 2007 at 6:50 pm rating: 0
#10 Anonymous
While badly written, I don’t see this note as PA at all. I think the writers have valid concerns — drugs/alcohol, noise at normal sleeping hours, mess in the common areas.
Though the section eight comment seems discriminatory and perhaps unfounded, the note writers do have a point about not wanting unsavory elements of people, such as drug abusers, on their property.
I’m on “team” note writer here. The submitter’s comment just adds another element to the writers’ complaints. It does not add to her defense.
Aug 12, 2007 at 7:11 pm rating: 0
#11 MeMe
Sorry….I’m for team Condo Owners. When you live in a shared building like this, you should respect your neighbors, not to mention have a little respect. If you “can’t remember if you’ve regurgitated in the garage”, then perhaps you might analyze your partying habits even? We all like to party but party girl in question is garnering herself a nasty reputation with her neighbors - and that’s like pooping where you eat. Nasty.
Aug 12, 2007 at 7:20 pm rating: 0
#12 MeMe
LOL I’m writing while medicated (mmmm….Norco) The first sentence should read “not to mention have a little SELF-respect”
Aug 12, 2007 at 7:22 pm rating: 0
#13 marla
These people have zero class. It really is none of their business what time this girl comes home. Does the condo building have a curfew? If the noise bothers them, they should complain about that, and not bring character issues into it.
Aug 12, 2007 at 7:49 pm rating: 0
#14 mel
She drives when she’s that drunk/under the influence of the “substance” the hallway reeks of? That’s messed up.
Sorry, I am also on Team Condo. Bring home all the guys you want, just don’t run over someone on the way.
Aug 12, 2007 at 7:51 pm rating: 0
#15 Tif
I think she has some valid complaints, honestly. I’m all up for having fun… you know, a little drinking, maybe a little smoking, men, makig some noise. But, honestly, when you don’t own your own home where you have to clean up your own messes and people can’t hear you that much, you have no right to act that way. So, as much as I like your carefree nature, it is extremely disrespectful. Maybe you should stop spending your money on substances and try saving up for a house.
Aug 12, 2007 at 7:52 pm rating: 0
#16 Wry Exchange
Daddy is PA for sliding the note under her door.
Aug 12, 2007 at 8:53 pm rating: 0
#17 Anon
Team Condo Owners for sure. There’s no reason to be an ass about things and try to show how wild you are by making noise. One day you’ll realize that the assholes were never the other people in the building. It was you. It was always you. I know. It used to be me.
Aug 12, 2007 at 8:53 pm rating: +1
#18 k
I would add a vote for Team Engrish Condo Owners except oh my God I am still cracking up at ‘regurgitating to no extent’. Regurgitating to no extent ALL THE WAY.
It just gets better and better.
In our garage that we paid for!!!
Aug 12, 2007 at 9:12 pm rating: 0
#19 Tara
I love how the note-writer gets all Malcolm X “By-any-means-necessary” at the end there. The irony is how paranoid they sound about all the “undesirables” moving into the building.
I can understand expressing concern about behavior you have directly witnessed that affects you, but referencing the Section 8 people seems a bit much.
Aug 12, 2007 at 9:35 pm rating: 0
#20 loren
@Anon- when do we meet for our AA meeting. That is, Assholes Anonymous. I probably should attend.
Aug 12, 2007 at 11:21 pm rating: 0
#21 sharon
How do they know so much? Unless they were sitting up in the car park watching at 4am (which would be creepy) how could they know she could hardly make it to the exit? And since they say they can only ‘imagine’ what the lift was like, they can’t have seen it for themselves. Perhaps we should ask her father (since he works in the building) if the cleaning staff saw any of this vomit or whether, in fact, this letter is a pile of steaming bullshit.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#22 Lisa R.
Anon. submitter sounds like a trashy bitch to me. Gross.
You can go out and get drunk as hell, just be somewhat quiet when you come home (out of respect for the other tenants). Skank.
That’s all..
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:29 am rating: 0
#23 Lisa R.
#21:
Maybe because she was so goddamn loud.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:29 am rating: 0
#24 SJ
I am with #21. These neighbours seem a little bit TOO involved in the actions of their neighbour. Even if she was loud, how could you tell she was throwing up in the parking garage.
Although, I’m not on the girl’s side for the drunk driving or music blasting at all hours. But, I think a simple knock on her door might have yielded more results.
I also find it a bit difficult to believe that if the girl’s father lives/works in this particular condo building, that he would be aware if his daughter had drug abuse problems. And if there was more than one occasion of this “smell” then why not notify someone at the time of it’s occurrence? Seems to me that these accusations might be somewhat exaggerated in order to gain satisfactory results.
Aug 13, 2007 at 3:32 am rating: +1
#25 Max Roswell
Seems to me like the condo owners have a legitimate noise beef. The rest of it sounds like the wild-eyed fever dreams of an elderly busybody that’s awake at 4:30 and pissed at the world.
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:35 am rating: 0
#26 Goldie
Ditto #21 and 24. I suspect a large portion of this letter to be BS. People have been making up stuff about their neighbors since the beginning of time and this is just another example.
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:36 am rating: 0
#27 m
I’m not really sure the “in her defense…” is really something in her defense. She never has thrown up in someone’s garage - that she can remember? Nice.
Also, the note-leaver didn’t seem like s/he was picking on the fact that she was being escorted home by a gentleman… but more that she was being escorted home at all and could barely walk and talk. But that’s just how I took it.
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:51 am rating: 0
#28 john
“those awful 3 people living as section 8″. Wow. I would have maybe been on “team note-writer” until I saw that. Now I’m on “team don’t be an elitist snob”.
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:57 am rating: 0
#29 e
30 story condo? and her dad knows it’s her the note is referring to? I see that they include the floor number but is she the only young person on that floor? The only female?
I was hoping her after added note would say something about her working an overnight shift and that’s why she comes in at an odd hour.
Aug 13, 2007 at 7:02 am rating: 0
#30 PatHMV
I’m on Team “Thank God I Don’t Live in that Condo with the Elitist Morons and the Loud Drunken Slut.”
Aug 13, 2007 at 7:14 am rating: 0
#31 Black Bellamy
This note contains enough personally identifiable information and enough slanderous and actionable material that it would easily qualify as Exhibit A. I can only hope someone in my building would write a note like that. I would own their condo soon enough.
Aug 13, 2007 at 7:45 am rating: 0
#32 T-Bone
Hmmmm! Where shall I start?
The concerned citizens of the complex must have a team of spies embedded at various posts throughout the building– they know when she comes home! They know she was escorted home by some guy! They know it’s her “regurgitation” in the garage, elevator and hallway (DNA tests?)!
The condo spies have set up video surveillance. They have walkie-talkies to communicate with one another. “NOTE THE TIME AS 0400. SUSPECT IS NOW EXITING HER CAR WITH SOME GUY. SUSPECT IS CURRENTLY REGURGITATING TO NO EXTENT ALL THE WAY.” The guys in the Condo Spy Center HQ are scribbling notes and drinking coffee, their brows knitted in concern. “We’re gonna nail this bitch to the wall,” says Head Condo Spy.
Girl, don’t play your music so loud.
Tenants/owners, get a life! Honestly, people.
Aug 13, 2007 at 8:02 am rating: 0
#33 the sos
how do we even know she comes home drunk? maybe she’s too loud, but the rest is conjecture at best (unless they’ve witnessed her regurgitating to no extent in person).
i have some crazy neighbors (college town), and i myself have been known to come in at 2 or even 3 (this weekend 4) am. it’s nonya fucking business. period.
and when i read the “that I can remember” phrase submitted with the note, i totally took it in a very sarcastic tone. like, who WOULDN’T remember puking in their garage? (or at least have their memory jogged the next day when they step in their “substance” getting into their car.)
Team “Bring it Down a Notch, but Worry About Your Own Fucking Business”
Aug 13, 2007 at 8:26 am rating: 0
#34 will
I’m always doing things to no extent as well. Count me for team “Submitter is just having a good time and the neighbors can write notes to no extent”.
Aug 13, 2007 at 8:38 am rating: 0
#35 Anon 2
I’m kind of torn.
I have done some stupid shit while a renter. Got drunk and threw up down the side of the building from my 3rd story window, etc… These days I’m older and wiser (and now a condo owner) and try to keep the noise level down, especially late at night/early morning, and try my best to not throw up in common areas. It’s the right thing to do.
However, I have also been the victim of a an incredibly nosy neighbour who felt the need to report my every move to my landlord. “He wears shoes in the apartment”; “His dog walks around during the day”; “There was a kid in the apartment the other day”; etc…
I figure that if you can party without being invasive, then do it. Walking through a garage drunk is no big deal. Driving drunk is stupid.
Neither person sounds like they’re a good thing to be subjected to. Maybe the strata can toss both?
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: +1
#36 Anon 2
Also: Black Bellamy
C’mon, what are we, 15? The “let’s sue for slander” shit is old and played out.
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:31 am rating: 0
#37 PatHMV
It’s hard to sue someone else for slander when you’re the one who submits the note to be published on the internet.
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:40 am rating: 0
#38 Meeg
(A) who reading this could not be the subject of a similar letter and (B) there is some awful grammar going on in the letter the “reguritation to no extent” and that i.e. that doesn’t really explain what “further escalation” there might be. It’s just begging to not be taken seriously.
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:40 am rating: 0
#39 Goldie
They’re getting Kramer involved… followed by the Police (since they write it with a capital P, I assume they mean Sting’s rock band)… followed by all Tenants! Sounds like a heck of an escalation to me.
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:51 am rating: 0
#40 Katzendogz
Everything in the note could very well be bullshit, but the first allegation should be taken very seriously. If this girl is driving drunk, that needs to be investigated.
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: 0
#41 Erica
Sounds like the typical drama of a Gold Coast condo building…
Aug 13, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#42 Submitter
Ok I submitted this note and the “that I can remember” was followed by a
because IT”S A FUCKING JOKE!! The letter was written by two old bitches that I was later introduced to and they didn’t say SHIT. That note is totally grossly exaggerated! Yes I do come home at all hours of the night. SO WHAT? FUCK YOU! NOT ILLEGAL! Ha, go have some fun you uptight bitches of “team condo owners”. AND I fucking OWN too! Besides I live in Boystown!! Drunk transvestites in the street make more noise than I do! AND If I ever drove home drunk I would not be able to park my car b/c the garage is so fucking small that if I swerved I’d for sure hit something. You think I’m kidding. What do you think my ‘gentleman escort’ was doing? Driving me home because I was too drunk to. I might party but I don’t drive when I know I shouldn’t and the fact that I was ‘escorted’ home by a gentleman means that I’m a slut?? Kiss my ass Lisa R. and try to find someone who will give you a piece (get the ruffies ready, you’re gonna need em), maybe then you won’t be such a bitter fucking BEAST! Thanks to everyone who can appreciate the hilarity of the note.
Aug 13, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: +2
#43 PatHMV
Ok, I’m really with the Condo Owners now. Who the hell submits a P-A note directed at them to this site and doesn’t expect some blow-back in their own direction? Has there ever in the history of this site been a note where all the commenters agreed 100% with the note recipient, with no one siding with the note senders? Self-centered, anybody?
I repeat, I’m with Team Glad I Don’t Live in this Condo Building (with either the senders or the recipient of the note)!
Aug 13, 2007 at 11:04 am rating: +1
#44 Dave
Hehehe. Although I side with you (submitter), you really shouldn’t have submitted the note if you didn’t think everyone would agree with you.
The commentary is the best part of this site.
Aug 13, 2007 at 11:13 am rating: 0
#45 Veronica
Well, I was totally Team Anon 2 #35.
Then I read submitter’s comment. And while she’s getting pretty defensive…I gotta stick with my Chicago girls, and I love that she lives in Boystown…but I’m a little confused as to why two, crabby old ladies live in an appartment in Boystown…lol.
Aug 13, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#46 Fulano
Submitter, do you kiss your mom with that mouth? Heavens!
Aug 13, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#47 TL
Submitter makes me feel very old and very tired.
Aug 13, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#48 Sassy
Re: Submitter
Yeah, that response really shows us how different you are from the note. Sure.
Call me unconvinced and get some thicker skin if you’re going to play on sites like this.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: 0
#49 mere
she can’t remember ever regurgitating in the garage, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
however, what disturbs me is that fact that the person leaving the note knew sooo much about said tenant…
stalker? can we say ‘creeeeepy’?!
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#50 Hannah
Ugh. I was on the fence until the submitter posted again. She sounds like a spoiled little brat. When you live in a condo, it DOES matter that there are people trying to live peacefully around you. I’m not an old hag either; I’m a 21 year old party goer, but I know when enough is enough, and I expect my neighbors to know the same.
If you are going to act like an ass, expect to be treated like one. The note-leavers were bizarre too, but what else are two old ladies going to do with their time?
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
#51 Erica
Having Daddy buy you a condo doesn’t mean you “own” one, Submitter.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:42 pm rating: +1
#52 Vampira
Submitter, you rock my note world. Of course not everyone agress on every note, but GrandmaSpyBot5000 and her partner have obviously been nosey old bitties. And yes, I think some of the posters in this thread really need to get laid.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:42 pm rating: +1
#53 Vampira
@ Erica, just becuse her dad works in the building doesn’t mean he bought her a condo. It could mean she got a heads up on a good deal, but that, as well as what you said, is just a wild guess.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:45 pm rating: +1
#54 anglophile
I don’t really believe Submitter now. No way two “old bitches” would use the word player. Unless by old, Submitter means 29. Now I feel old and tired, too.
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:45 pm rating: 0
#55 jules
Hmmm. If that’s how Submitter talks at 10:00 in the a.m. and hopefully while sober, then Old Biddies might have a legitimate beef about what goes on in the middle of the night when this chick is toasted.
(Oh, and I did just get laid. Thanks for your concern.)
Aug 13, 2007 at 12:56 pm rating: 0
#56 super_fan#99
I repeat, sounds like my kind of girl.
Aug 13, 2007 at 1:08 pm rating: 0
#57 robin
rofl, “she has traffic in and out of her unit all the time”
sorry, have to laugh. after all, this is grade school
Aug 13, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 0