today’s tasteless gross-out is brought to us by christina in irvine, ca. (apologies in advance for this one.)
i think it’s going to be a long long time
August 20th, 2007 · 159 comments
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Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · california · group bitchfest · irvine · rocket pubes · shower · that shit is disgusting · university
159 responses so far ↓
#1 LokiXIII
lol rocket pubes…
I love how chris and whoever its the other person seconds that crazy thought D:
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:42 am rating: 0
#2 cityclass
apart from the whole overuse of the word ‘pubes’ (or maybe its just me ’cause i don’t like that word), i do quite like and enjoy brandon’s use of metaphors and similes in this.
and the take notice, i like that part too.
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:05 am rating: 0
#3 Lisa R.
I like Brandon.
Hey website guy- Post more often! K, thx.
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:17 am rating: 0
#4 will
I am impressed that this letter apparently was drafted by a committe. Can chrisitine provide us with the meeting notes as well?
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:18 am rating: 0
#5 jules
Yeah fuck you brandon
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:19 am rating: 0
#6 Anon
It’s a shower. Not your dinner plate. Redirect some water and rinse it off. Team Rocket-pubes!
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:35 am rating: 0
#7 jamie
lmao rocket pubes
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:43 am rating: 0
#8 tweedle
B.V. is for Brandon’s
–unaccountable?–
Vendetta
against people with pubic hair.
I too feel it is good to clean out shower and bath drains after bathing, but, given the note’s subject matter, the high dudgeon in which it was clearly written seems to indicate that our B is type A plus.
Wouldn’t want to live with him!
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:43 am rating: 0
#9 Lizzie
I’m just laughing at the Elton John reference.
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:45 am rating: 0
#10 BoggyWoggy
Maybe, just maybe another consideration:
This guy notices that he has a lot of growth down there and “borrows” Brandon’s razor! As he’s rinsing it off, he shakes it to release all of the built up pub hair. One of the hairs hits the curtain.
He quietly returns Brandon’s razor to the drawer where it belongs!
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:00 am rating: 0
#11 BoggyWoggy
Whoops! “Pube,” not “pub.
Ummm…that makes me think of beer.
Gotta go!
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:02 am rating: 0
#12 Debbie
Rocket? Euw.
But hilarious. Justification for this site — if such a thing were ever needed. I laughed so hard i nearly coughed up a kidney.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:18 am rating: 0
#13 Andy
Well, if I’d have to put the boys in a plastic bag, how would I get said boys squeaky clean?
My favorite thing, however, is that the third and fourthing line was made an “official” signature line by putting an X first, so he knew where to sign when he wrote it. What a clever anti-pubite.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:21 am rating: 0
#14 Andy
I also like the “Official Decree”, which then he has to repeat by saying, “Here’s my new decree:”
If you’re going to give out official decrees, the only way to begin said decrees is: “I hereby decree, this fourth day of September, in the year of our LORD 2006…”
Sheesh. What are they teaching at colleges today? Kids today.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:25 am rating: 0
#15 Craig
Haha, brilliant.
Though I did assume at first that “Rocket pubes” was a reference to ginger pubes
Aug 20, 2007 at 3:59 am rating: 0
#16 LJ
If he wrote a book, I’d buy it! That’s some awesome writing that is!
Aug 20, 2007 at 4:07 am rating: 0
#17 King Steve
I’m not a fan of Brandon….And if I knew him I’d put pubes in EVERYTHING he owns…
Aug 20, 2007 at 5:09 am rating: 0
#18 LC
Brandon seems a little shrill, but I totally get where he’s coming from.
He would never have survived my roommate, who decided to go for the Brazilian look in our shower with the help of some sort of oil-based product (baby oil?) It created a sort of crazy-glued pube carpet. And all this the day she decides to leave town for a week! I used our other roomie’s bath and left Nutzo’s pube carpet there to convey to her my extreme displeasure.
TEAM COURTESY-RINSE!
Aug 20, 2007 at 6:09 am rating: 0
#19 Alan
hahah nice…from uci?..nice to know people from my area looks at these kinda sites =]
Aug 20, 2007 at 7:17 am rating: 0
#20 jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!
i reckon brandon has some severe disorder and dosnt have any pubes, and hes jealous of evryone else
in conclusion, fuck you brandon
Aug 20, 2007 at 7:56 am rating: 0
#21 Darcy
Well, that was amazing. That’s exactly the kind of inter-resident policing activity I like to see in a college dorm.
Aug 20, 2007 at 8:43 am rating: 0
#22 Mandy
How does he know it’s a pube? Maybe somebody just has curly hair.
Aug 20, 2007 at 8:45 am rating: 0
#23 super_fan#99
Whoa what happened to the comments? I don’t have anything interesting to say yet but felt the compulsive need to post anyways.
Aug 20, 2007 at 8:45 am rating: 0
#24 Brian
Just like when watching CSI, I never cease to be amazed at how someone can determine a short curly hair is a pubic hair as opposed to chest, arm, leg, etc. I think its more telling that his mind went there immediately.
Seems easier to just make a rule that everyone rinse down the shower walls when they’re done.
This household sounds like a good crop of candidates for any of the many “locked in a house” reality shows out there.
Aug 20, 2007 at 8:58 am rating: 0
#25 dfgdfg
I suspect a pube researcher.
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:06 am rating: 0
#26 Andy
Or pube collector. He was able to go in the archives and make a positive ID.
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:08 am rating: 0
#27 Dee
This..Is effing hilarious. “Like a clown in a cannon”. Rotfl. The imagery is great for a PA Note.
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:09 am rating: 0
#28 anonymouscoworker
The lack of spelling and grammatical errors in the note is almost as refreshing as a pube-free shower.
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:10 am rating: 0
#29 Goldie
My first thought was chest hair, but for Petessakes, it’s still gross. I fifth what Brandon said, clean up after yourself.
That letter was f-ing hilarious. Go Brandon!
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#30 Fraulein N
“TEAM COURTESY-RINSE!
I second
X__Fraulein N_______
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:34 am rating: 0
#31 the sos
“The lack of spelling and grammatical errors in the note is almost as refreshing as a pube-free shower.”
I second.
X - the sos
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:45 am rating: 0
#32 T-Bone
hahahahahahah!!!! God. The metaphors. Fabulous.
I once knew a guy who was freakishly hairy. Throughout his apartment, little dark curls would alight on every surface. These hairs weren’t necessarily pubes, if you take my meaning. Kudos to my freakishly hairy friend though, because he cleaned his house obsessively.
My idea is that the offending “pube” on the shower curtain perhaps could have been another kind of hair. Let’s hope!
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:50 am rating: 0
#33 aliastaken
What does Brandon expect in a shared shower? When I was in college, we had three showers for a wing of almost 40 people! Kids these days; they just don’t know how to deal.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:01 am rating: 0
#34 Susan
OMG - this letter is fabulous! LMAO for the last ten minutes (five minutes for the imagery in the letter and five minutes after perusing the comments!)!!
P.S.:
I fifth. x___Terry____
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#35 ShagNBag
Now this is the kind of post we’re all here for!
Brandon. Son. It’s college. You’re lucky pubes are the only thing you’re finding in there.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#36 Vampira
These yellow comments make me think of pee, and that makes me think of shoulder-heighth pubes. Please bring back the work friendly, non-yellow comments. ^_^
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:15 am rating: 0
#37 Michael
Is this note all we get today, O Great PAN.com God?? I want some more please!!!
You all are CRACKING me up. Yay Jules and Superfan#99. LMAO!!!!
I was imagining that this note was something you’d see in a Farrelly Brothers movie, did anyone else do that???
Do you want your pubes on a wall?
Do you want to see pubes at all?
No dammit, the stupid pubes are supposed to do DOWN the drain.
If I complain, I hope the PAN Gods will give me another juicy post before tomorrow, which will undoubtedly be RIPE with comments! LOL!
I like pudding. *cough*
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:18 am rating: 0
#38 super_fan#99
that’s the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day michael.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:23 am rating: 0
#39 Michael
It’s still early so other things can beat me out. Hopefully at about 11:30 PM tonight, you’ll still think that of me. *sniffle*, thank you.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#40 bethany
while I agree that the writing here is refreshingly good, I feel duty-bound to point out the your/you’re error just before the midway point.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:32 am rating: 0
#41 Go Clipless b-sides
Remember when you shared a bathroom in college?…
Passiveaggressivenotes.com is one of my new favorite reads….
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:42 am rating: 0
#42 Andy
I guess there’s nothing like a little pube humor to make a Monday morning a little brighter.
Actually, this note is all the funnier when it dawned on me that it was just ONE alleged pube which caused this rant.
If the shower curtain looks like a shag carpet hanging there, well, yeah.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:42 am rating: 0
#43 Elmoosh
If you have not noticed or care not to know, the pubes go in the copy room.
Thanks Terry.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:07 am rating: 0
#44 Evan
Nooone wonders how Christine got a note hung in the guys’ showers?
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:12 am rating: 0
#45 Talea
That is hands down the best note ever posted on this website.
I’d like to meet this person and shake their hand.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#46 ijRoberts
Talea, at least you know that hand would be pube free!
What? No “That pube was fucking delicious!”??
Okay, I guess it’s left up to me then.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:27 am rating: 0
#47 mere
i’m with evan, how did christine get this note? some sort of spy networking system? or maybe she just asked? hmmmmm
ugh, shower sharing. UGH!
does anyone know how to change the color of the comment space so it’s not this awful goldish/yellowrod/mazish (but i call if ‘corn’) color?
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:29 am rating: 0
#48 GhostWriter
Rocket pubes certainly are viable threats, but are thankfully limited by weak propulsion vehicles.
What we really need to be worrying about are suitcase pubes, which can be carried anywhere, even into our state capitols.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#49 mere
i call IT ‘corn’.
GAH!
team: need to proofread before hitting ’submit’.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#50 Heather
“It’s the right thing to do.”
Way to end it, Brandon.
Team Yeah for Girls.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:33 am rating: 0
#51 lauralaiwc
hahaha! i am laughing hysterically at work. this is a really good one.
my advice would be to wear those nifty little shower shoes and take a chill pill. one rocket pube will not nuke the shower.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:34 am rating: 0
#52 kiki
When I moved into my current apartment, the guy who lived here before me obviously had very curly, black hair. It was every where. I don’t think he had vacuumed once since he had lived here, it was in piles in corners. So gross. I ripped up the carpet and replaced all of the flooring. Team clean up your gross hair.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: 0
#53 Black Bellamy
I’m on Team It’s African-American Head Hair You Racist Pig Brandon.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: 0
#54 Vampira
If someone does find out how to turn off this pee color, let me know!
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
#55 Andy
Vampira:
At work I have to use IE.
You can go into Tools, Accessibility, Formatting, and select the box that says “Ignore colors specified on web pages.”.
It’s clunky, but I’m now pee-free! Whee.
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:35 pm rating: 0
#56 Andy
Oy, did I mess that up. Tools, Internet Options, General Tab, then the rest. Egads.
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:36 pm rating: 0
#57 D_luv
Rocket pubes?!
This like some American Pie version of the Declaration of Independence with all the damn co-signing. Wait a sec… I like it.
We’ll call it:
Official Decree: The Declaration of Indepence from Shower Pubes!
PS: The new comment color sucks. Bring back the old school. Thanks Terry!
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#58 D_luv
All we get is this one note? Please please please gimme some more. I’m so strung out on this website!
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:39 pm rating: 0
#59 Michael
Mishee,
Free speech goes both ways, I preferred to use mine in a sarcastic way yesterday that used the style of the site and today as just plain parody for those who recognized it (I must have done it right since you recognized it and I never used your name). In middle school, I just played Oregon trail so if I had written “Mishee has died of dysentery.”, THAT would have been the middle-school approach.
And in no way do I expect you to stop or have it influence your opinion on the site in any way (why would it?). I just like to have fun.
And if this were also middle school, our fight would mean that you totally like me and I’d be awaiting a note that says “Do you like me? Please check yes or no.”
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
#60 Becca
I don’t understand what everyone is saying about the comment color - I’m in Safari and everything looks normal to me.
On topic - I had a room mate who used to put her hair on the side of the shower if it came out while she was washing it. GROSS. Especially gross because hair squicks me out in general…
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:45 pm rating: 0
#61 Mishee
Check yes or no? Are we stuck in the middle of a George Strait song?
Why do you say that… do you like me? (once again sarcastic).
And if you notice, I never said anywhere that you had no right to say what you did, because yes, Free Speech DOES go both ways…
“I may disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it…”
And on that note…
PUBES, PUBES, PUBES…
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:51 pm rating: 0
#62 Mishee
P.S. Oregon Trail rocks
Aug 20, 2007 at 12:55 pm rating: 0
#63 dawn
“How they get so high, I don’t understand
I use this stall five days a week
A Rocket Puuuuuuube!
Rocket Pube!
And I think it’s gonna be a long, long, time
‘Til I can shower without fear to find
The standard here is lower than at home
Ah, no no no…
A Rocket Pube!
Rocket Puuuuuube!
Leapin’ like clown
To heights unknown”
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:26 pm rating: 0
#64 Michael
I don’t get the George Strait reference, I hate country music. The check yes or no thing has been around a lot longer than he’s been writing songs, if you’re speaking of a lyric he wrote or something. But no, I never said you denied my freedom of speech, I was using it as a counter to you bringing it up. And I think E likes you quite a bit, he sounds like the guy who pushes you on the playground to hide his feelings.
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:28 pm rating: 0
#65 GVI
hey kids calm down before i put you two in timeout
Aug 20, 2007 at 1:46 pm rating: 0
#66 Natalie
I had a roommate in the dorms who created what I can only describe as a modern art hair wall on one wall of our shower. Once a week or so I would dismantle it, but it was like a welcome mat of long curly hair that had clearly been gathered up in her hand and stuck in balled up clumps to the wall.
I’m not unsympathetic, having long hair myself, but after the shower scoop it up and throw it out.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:01 pm rating: 0
#67 Michael
Please do GVI, I can catch up on my nap. Oops, I mean, I can think about what I’ve done. And also imagine being Superman and busting through the wall and running to the tetherball court.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:01 pm rating: 0
#68 BoggyWoggy
I like the battles between commentors. It’s cyber-fighting at its P-A best!
And, personally, I like the yellow “pee” background. It makes my house look cleaner.
And…I really think the hair came from his ear. The guy who pumps my gas has long ear hair and 1 mole on his left FACE cheek with a 3-inch hair growing out of it. I try so hard to not look at it when he comes to the car window, but I can’t stop!
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:17 pm rating: 0
#69 Andy
BoggyWoggy: Are you sure the mole hair doesn’t happen to be an ingrown ear hair?
Actually, regarding the backgrounds, I’d like them to change color based on your mood. That’d be cool. Mine would always be brown, I’d bet. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:26 pm rating: 0
#70 Janey
We had this one girl in our dorm who we called “Enema Girl”. I’ll give you one guess why.
I’d much rather find one rocket pube on the shower curtain than what she left behind in the stalls!
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:29 pm rating: 0
#71 Kristi
oh Andy, I LOL’d. That SHIT was fucking delicious.
Aug 20, 2007 at 2:34 pm rating: 0
#72 Mierin