Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?

August 20th, 2007 · 100 comments

“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)

The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.

what will it take?? (probably not an office-wide e-mail)

Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?

FILED UNDER: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police

100 responses so far ↓

  • #1   twitchy

    Wow, the link just puts it over the top

    Aug 20, 2007 at 9:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   twitchy

    Aug 20, 2007 at 9:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   LC

    I’m confused…what’s wrong with asking people to clean up after themselves like frickin’ adults? I worked in a hospital that had the messiest goddamn doctors on the planet (who felt like I was there to clean their messes up,) so I sorta sympathize.

    Aug 20, 2007 at 9:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Wry Exchange

    Someone needs spell check, grammar check, and decaf.

    Aug 20, 2007 at 10:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Foxtrot

    Did you check out the costs of the nannycams? 1. What foolish company would spend $300 to find out who is leaving mugs in the sink?

    2. Wouldn’t it be great if they bought the fake baby monitor version and set it on the counter like no one is none the wiser?

    Aug 20, 2007 at 10:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   The Gentle Sherpa

    The fourth paragraph of this letter perfectly defines everything I love about this blog. I can hear in crystal clarity the 7 am gnashing of teeth, as the author angrily pukes out the first draft of this neurotic goodness, then an hour later, the delicate 8am shattering of their will to assert themselves as they rewrite it. Go team put-a-hidden-clock-cam-in-this-douchebags-cubicle!

    Aug 20, 2007 at 10:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Quoibina

    I just want to know more about those yellow mystery fluids, quite frankly.

    Or maybe not.

    Aug 20, 2007 at 11:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Zsa

    Wonder who comes in at 7am to 7 dirty cups and cant even get a glass of water without compulsively cleaning?
    I would LOVE to see the NannyCam of him ranting to himself when he opens the dishwasher and *gasp* it’s empty! No one even bothered to put the dirty dishes IN it, let alone run it. grrr… grumble… snarl.

    Aug 20, 2007 at 11:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Zsa

    hey, at least the silly balloons are not yellow any more

    Aug 20, 2007 at 11:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Vampira

    No joke, that was nasty. >_

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Zsa

    I totally got busted at work this morning for being on an “unauthorized site” cuz of those screaming yellow posts. Gotta have my morning laugh at the coffee break!!! What do I do?

    I begged and whined and made him actually READ the post. Good thing the system security geek got a good laugh at the pube post. I just had to promise not to post any more.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Shelby

    Buy a $400 nanny cam to catch someone who doesn’t wash dishes?

    I hope the Healthy Companies Committee has a Healthy Budget Committee.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   jen

    The email subject is the best. “What will it take??”, indeed.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Mrs. Bender

    I love how the link goes to an air purifier cam – so they show them the nanny cam and what it will be hidden in… then why bother buying a HIDDEN camera is everyone knows where the hell it is at??? Am I the only one not getting this??

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Mishee

    Wow PAN God you put up two in a day!! U Rock!!

    BTW, I actually work at a DESK in an OFFICE… I don’t know how many of you ever heard of a fast food worker having internet access at work? (it’s been 10 years, but when I worked at a pizza joint in high school, there were no computers there…) DUH!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   T-Bone

    It is unclear to me whether “The Healthy Companies Committee” is concerned about their employees’ mental health, or a possible hepatitis epidemic.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   jen

    This could have come from our office. Wouldn’t it be much more productive all round if companies just put the ‘tea lady’ back on?

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Ceryniti

    We have already established that everyone who posts here has no life. Accept, and move on…

    Hey, at least I’m honest.

    As for the posts… I used to work in a telemarketing office, and it got so bad the management decided to spring for a cleaning lady. 14 hours a day, that woman was our savior. I felt bad for her.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   EmeraldMPH

    This is a perfect example of people who are unnecessary. If I come into the office and see a mess in the kitchen, I grumble about the assholes who did it and leave it all there. Must be nice to spend an hour cleaning someone else’s crap and another hour composing an email because you don’t have any real work to do.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   magpie

    whoever dumped seven mug-fulls of murky liquid in the sink should have noticed my name PLASTERED all over the cups. now i have to go all morning thirsty thanks to you. oh, and that mysterious yellow liquid? i was saving that for lunch. there better be a replacement by tomorrow. Thanks, Terry.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Heather

    Foxtrot’s idea was good.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Craniac

    they have a dishwasher?!!! high class place. how sad no one uses it.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 5:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Vikki

    It would be funnier if my own group hadn’t had an entire hour long meeting to “solve” a similar problem (where in it was revealed that our boss and her boss where the ones casually leaving dishes to be cleaned since their time was more important than everyone else’s).

    Aug 21, 2007 at 5:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Alan

    “tuppeware full of yellow mystery fluids” HAHAHAH at least its not “tupperware full of WHITE mystery fluids” Laugh Out Loud

    Aug 21, 2007 at 6:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Andy

    Hrm. I don’t know which one I like best: “fly-attracting murky liquids”, “mystery yellow liquid” or “nannycam”.

    I’d have to go with the first, since it has drama (fly-attracting), mystery (murky) and comedy (liquids).

    Now, the intent of the note, I totally agree with. People can be such slobs at work, especially when you take the “not my job” attitude.

    We have a garbage disposal in the sink. So, how hard is it to give it a turn when you rinse out your disgusting lunch? Nah. Just let the remnants of your horrible excuse for a diet rot in the sink, or better yet, rinse your plate in the sink side WITHOUT a garbage disposal.

    Hmmm… sorry for the rant. Maybe a lot of my co-workers are Amish, and they are only used to those pedal-driven garbage disposals.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 6:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   super_fan#99

    I can’t stand it when people don’t clean up after themselves at work, it drives me insane.

    The weird thing is, I’m not like that at home. I’m actually a slob at home. Maybe I just hate everyone I work with already and everything they do puts me over the edge.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 8:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   GhostWriter

    What I believe:

    (a) There were really only four cups in the sink, with a tiny bit of coffee in one of them.

    (b) The cup owners never intended to wash their cups- they just wanted to keep them on the counter, nearby the coffee maker. Big deal.

    (c) King Healthy is just itching to install a nanny cam, and will probably do so (with his own money) just so he can spend all day monitoring the break room instead of working.

    (d) If it took King Healthy an hour to write that note, I would hate to have to work a cost proposal with him; thus maybe it’s better if he does just monitor the break room.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 8:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   Kristin

    If I worked there I might buy an air purifier and set it on the counter, just to let that guy wonder haha

    Aug 21, 2007 at 8:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   Al Hanso

    I wish we had a dishwasher in our office kitchen.

    Give people a sink and they complain about other people not manually washing mugs. Give them a dishwasher and they complain about people not starting the machine. I wonder if the people at Google complain about their robot dishwashers.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   aliastaken

    Al, I was going to say the same thing. What kind of office kitchen has a dishwasher?! Answer: One in a company that has a committee for clean-up and can afford a nannycam for the break room.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Janey

    Everyone should have to use their own coffee mugs…that way if their cup is dirty, there’s no one to blame but themselves.

    @Kristin (#30): What an excellent idea!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Hannah

    Our office has a dishwasher, and we just got a nice note posted above it! I need to hurry up and get a camera in here.

    (Our office has a full kitchen: stove, oven, three microwaves, two full size fridges plus mini fridges on every floor, a supply of bowls, plates, and silverware, toaster, and yes…a dishwasher. it’s better than my house)

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   Darren

    our office has a little coffee/tea area with a dishwasher that never gets ran, and a separate lunch area. Management noticed that the sink in the lunch area keps piling up with dishes, so they installed a second dishwasher so that people would not have to walk all the way to the coffee area (50′). Now we have 2 dishwashers and 2 sinks full of dishes. I wonder if they will install some more dishwashers, maybe one under my desk, it is piling up with coffee mugs :)

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   annie

    That yellow mystery fluid was f***ing delicious!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Andy

    annie: Thank you. I was hoping someone would say that. :)

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   IKM

    The letter writer is completely right. My heart goes out to anyone who must deal with disgusting, selfish, unmannerly pigs like this person’s co-workers.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   lauralaiwc

    my office has a dishwasher, but that doesnt mean we can afford the nanny cams :-p although i must say thats a relief. i lock myself in the break room for naps every now and then.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Tosha

    I want to buy one of those nanny cams and set in my office…although, I may see things that I’d rather not. :| And, no dishwasher at my work, also though, we have about 6 people that work here, so… who needs a dishwasher? Hah.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   PatHMV

    They don’t need a nanny-cam. According to recent research, they can just post a photocopy of a set of eyes above the sink, and people will behave as if they actually were being watched by somebody.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #40   magpie

    pat: that’s really cool! thanks for that

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #41   mere

    zsa (#11)- good thing you promised not to post! ;)
    a) i’m jealous they HAVE a dishwasher. i don’t understand how it could be so hard to put dishes IN the dishwasher.
    2)nannycam?! seriously? and who would have access to said images of nannycam? the guy who has to write and re-write to contain his anger?
    x) i’m on team ambivilant. it shouldn’t be hard to clean up after yourself, however, there’s got to be a better way to approach the subject.

    oh… and
    9) YAY for no more YELLOW bubbles!!!!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #42   Mrs. Bender

    I just love the murky liquids comment – such great imagery for the reader to experience!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #43   Dinah

    I too, get annoyed with the brats who can’t be troubled to pick up after themselves. I wouldn’t bother with a “health committee” or a nanny-cam though.

    Maybe I’d just adulterate the coffee, in a passive-aggressive way.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #44   D_luv

    I can just picture this guy — a reworked Officer Tackleberry type. Chief of the Office KGB (Kitchen Gendarmes Bureau… has a delightfully European feel:))

    Mission: to ENFORCE the law of the dishwasher and punish dish offenders for their crimes.

    He probably has night vision goggles and a copy of soldier of fortune magazine in his desk drawer. Quick, someone go check and post the results!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #45   Joanna

    Quoibina, I’m right there with you about the “yellow fluid”.
    It sounds delicious. Deliciously frightening.


    P.S. Has anyone seen my red stapler??

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #46   Jen

    I’m definitely with the note writer. Piled up dishes are disgusting and there are way too many people who will leave their messiness for someone else to clean up.

    However, I think the best part of this note is that someone stole the August page of the calendar. Someone really didn’t want to do their week o’ kitchen duty.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #47   GhostWriter

    Look guys, the “yellow mystery fluid” is my chicken broth and I keep it in the fridge. It happened to be out on the counter for about two minutes because I stepped back to my desk for a phone call, and King Healthy hates it because he’s a vegan. So when I get back to the break room, King Healthy has just poured by broth down the drain, and has the gall to look up at me and say, “What WAS that sh!t?”

    I think he feels guilty about it, because then he sent out that note with a big to-do about my yellow mystery fluid (which, by the way, was labeled “B R O T H” on the lid).

    The guy is out of control.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #48   Tarn

    I’m down with the sentiment, but the email is classic PA. Very this site! ;-)

    My office has a dishwasher AND a cleaner. But some people are still pigs about it, leaving their dishes out on the counter all day, or putting them in the dishwasher when it needs emptying, so the dirty dishes drip all over the clean ones.

    We’ve had notes, emails from the boss, whatever, and it still happens. What my colleagues really need is an in-office mommy…

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #49   super_fan#99

    Team in-office-mommy! I wish I had one….

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #50   Fraulein N

    You know, I get why King Healthy is annoyed, but the whole angry, early morning, thrice-edited note is just a bit much. Also, in true p-a fashion, he cleaned up the mess, THEN complained about having to clean up the mess.

    Either clean up and shut up, or DON’T clean up and then you can complain all you want about the slobs you work with.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #51   Mishee

    Shag, I’ll add you to the mailing list of Mishee Supporters… we have a secret handshake you will have to learn though!

    And I just re-read Jordan’s note again (since I have so many Anti-Mishee comments, it’s hard to keep them all straight now) and I realized I never addressed the statement
    “Dear fucking god, you’re are a very annoying person. I hope to not see you in real life. I bet you’re a rambler..”

    Ummm, yeah, I’m just a BIT of a rambler… my co-workers laughed at me yesterday when I called myself an Introvert… I’m still wondering why??? (Did I mention I just started this new job 1 week and 2 days ago – they just get me…)

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #52   Nattie

    Team Mishee all the way. Can we have flags and banners? Or even better, a committee to organise all the teams and make sure they’re all kitted out with flags and whatnot?

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #53   Juliet

    Some people cannot be trained to clean up after themselves. Maybe their parents did everything for them, or they just forgot about their dishes.

    I think it is high time the human race accepted this fact and moved on. Seriously you will age 20 years if you make kitchen patrol a priority.

    A nannycam? Get real.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #54   Dave9

    Yes, Team Mishee! The Healthy Companies Committee reminds me of the Happy Hands Club on Napoleon Dynamite.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #55   Hannah

    I just dug around our office kitchen a little more: they even supply us with cabinet full of spices and oils in case we feel like really cooking down there!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #56   Mierin

    Post A big Evil Eye above the sink to get people to clean.
    Also, mess may be gross, but it’s not really all that unhealthy. Who cares. We live in an oversterilized culture anyway. As long as noone is contagious, you’re probably fine.
    Also I had to laugh my ass off at the King Healthy thing.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #57   Mishee

    I just was browsing on StumbleUpon and found this nice PA note somewhere on the web… it’s pretty funny although it’s from “Mom” it has nothing to do with doing dishes!!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #58   DUH

    I don’t know which is more PA: the fact that his distribution is called “Staff”, or the fact that he ends his note with “Thank you for your future cooperation.” I hate that!

    As for keeping the office slobs in check, I suggest Terry Tate:

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #59   Mrs. Bender

    Duh, should we say “Thank You” to the guy in the Video?

    Ok, I will…
    Thank you Terry!


    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #60   DUH

    Ha! Didn’t even notice that! Funny.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #61   Writer, Rejected

    I think I’d jump out a window if I worked in office that had an “office pep squad,” even one that didn’t call itself the “healthy companies committee,” which sounds more like a set up for the “dysfunctional passive-aggressive companies committee” to me.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #62   Darcy

    I agree, the best part is totally the fact that somebody ripped off the August page of the calendar in a clear “fuck you” to kitchen duties.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #63   BoggyWoggy

    This goes under the category: Things that could be said in 15 words or less, but are said in 1500 words, instead!
    Oh, and I took the calendar. It was the only way I could figure out how to get out of washing everyone else’s crap.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 5:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #64   marla

    [description of my office kitchen]

    Aug 21, 2007 at 6:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #65   Jess

    Seriously, a nanny cam?!?!!!! This guy needs a hobby, or a pet. Or maybe to go home once in a while. Or maybe a happier home life. Or maybe, medication. I don’t know, but anybody who’s this interested in the office kitchen has something missing in their life!

    Aug 21, 2007 at 7:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #66   BoggyWoggy

    OK, just have to comment:
    Mishee is annoying. Fact #1
    I’m guessing…oh, say, 26 years old. Fact #2
    She sits at her desk reading this site most of the day, hoping to see her name pop up again. Fact #3
    She reveals personal information about herself, injecting into her replies about others’ comments. Fact #4.
    She isn’t earning her keep at the job. Fact #5.
    This site is all about creativity, ranting, and quips. I’d like Mishee to come up with a quip about this note…that is NOT a follow-up to something someone else wrote. She won’t be able to do it. Fact #6

    Aug 21, 2007 at 7:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #67   Nattie

    Boggy….surely if you’re only guessing her age, it can’t be considered a fact?

    Aug 21, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #68   Mishee

    Well, hate to disappoint, but I may have been born 2 years after that song came out, but I have been a Billy Joel fan my whole life…

    Aug 21, 2007 at 7:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #69   BoggyWoggy

    Well, you are now gaining a little of my respect. It has been fun playing this game, but it’s time to get back to reading P-A Notes.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #70   BoggyWoggy

    Oh, and someone in the school I work at put signs up all over the staff areas of the school. They said, “Assume Positive Intent.” Then, someone wrote under several of them:

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #71   joobs

    Now, that’s a sucky slogan. Assume Positive Intent. How about removing a few letters… let’s see.. Ass Potent?

    I work at a school, too. The teacher’s lounge/kitchen is freakishly clean. And the only notes posted have perfect grammar and spelling. It’s intimidating, really. Of course, we’ ve had 5 principals in 9 years. I know this has nothing to do with today’s note, but it’s gratifying to come to this site when the notes in my real life kinda suck.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 9:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #72   GVI

    ok and now if you guys wouldn’t mind i would love to get BACK TO THE NOTE, i mean if its not to much to ask. The site is called passive aggressive note and not Mishees’ world, but yeah why would he clean the mess up and then complain about it?? who does that?? its either u clean it and shut up or u dont clean it and bitch, you cant do both

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #73   joobs

    yes u can do both, tht’s how we got this note.

    God, I hate text-message spelling. K, thx Ter-E.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #74   tweedle

    Team Boggy Woggy. Consider (rather than assume) positive intent, but trust your gut.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #75   joobs

    I’m team lots of people that write on this site.

    In the immortal words of Rodney King:

    “Why can’t we all jus’ git along? *sniffle*”

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #76   Mishee

    Thank you joobs. I don’t know what I did to piss people off. Everyone seemed to not have a problem with me until last Friday (when I was bored cause my boss was doing a project that had to be done, and I am still training and the volume at work is super low – I’m not used to that) maybe BoggyWoggy is so pissy cause she lives in the Portland area – I was pissy the two horrible years I lived in Vancouver, WA… the weather there just SUCKS. But I did get a little carried away and then it was just more fun to annoy you all, and yes, I have been checking to see my name, because when you are the middle of bugging someone you like to know when you have bugged them again to the point of getting a response. What did your parents always tell you? “If someone is teasing you, just ignore them” – sorry if being the youngest of a large brood has made my instigating skills a finely honed skill. But anyways, this will be my last post… or maybe not. But let’s see if you guys would know me if I wasn’t trying to annoy you… I like to keep you all guessing…


    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #77   loren

    I’m glad you could settle this little dispute over a nice warm cup of murky liquid.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #78   joobs

    mmmm. Waaaarrrrmmm mmmmurrrrky liiiiiquiiiiid.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #79   joobs

    Good idea, Mrs. Bender. But not that yellow mystery fluid that’s been sitting on the counter. I like my yellow mystery fluid cold and in the fridge!

    And I want to know whatever happened to August’s calendar page! I think there should be a search of everyone’s desk until it turns up, or maybe no one can go to recess until the thief confesses…wait, I forgot, this isn’t 4th grade.

    Can’t you just see Dwight from The Office, or maybe the anal retentive blonde chick, I don’t remember her name, lining the team up and questioning them? Tee hee, and then the nanny-cam would show it was Michael.

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #80   sharon

    Sheesh, where some of us work the management employ actual paid cleaners for communal areas. They seem to think that the rest of us are paid to do our own jobs. Funny that.

    Aug 22, 2007 at 3:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #81   King Healthy

    I had no idea we are so spoiled by having a dishwasher…

    Anyway, of all the posts I must comment on one, I am not a vegan.

    Aug 22, 2007 at 8:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #82   Biff Diesel

    We should all feel sympathy for King Healthy. Not only does he have to work in a predominately female gossipfest-can-you-believe-what-she’s-wearing office environment, he has to take up the slack for the many others in the office that eat bon bons all day, perform his regularly assigned duties, fill his recently assigned “interim” manager role, deal with the imcompetence of the public policy department, as well as monitor the state of the kitchen to keep the health department from closing the operation down. King Healthy for President!

    Aug 22, 2007 at 9:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #83   Healthy T-Bone

    I don’t what “imcompetence” is, but Biff Diesel should not bite the hand that feeds him.

    Aug 22, 2007 at 10:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #84   Biff Diesel

    “Imcompetence” is subtle comedic irony. Healthy T-Bone, seems you need a little grammar check yourself (“I don’t what” – What?) But you are correct, I shouldn’t have come to King Healthy’s defense at the expense of alienating those that actually do something for me. I think the real problem with King Healthy is a bit of a Napoleon Complex. Being vertically challenged and slow afoot, this thing with the kitchen is really just a control issue for him.

    Aug 22, 2007 at 10:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #85   Lola

    King Healthy, this one’s for you! Perhaps you can take from our “Guidelines for Sharing a Kitchen with Co-Workers.”

    1. Each time you use the kitchen: Clean up after your dumb ass. We are sick and tired of you losers leaving your god damn nasty shit stuck to the counters. What the hell does your house look like anyway? We will NOT be cleaning up after your lazy ass.

    2. When using dishes: wash your fucking dishes after use or use paper plates if you are that lazy.

    3. After using the sink: don’t leave your nasty gross food particles in the sink. Nobody wants to see that shit floating around.

    4. Coffee pots: turn off your nasty coffee pots at the end of the day and try washing them once a year. If you forget, your pots may meet an early demise.

    5. Refrigerator users: Label and date your food. That way after a month of good ripening, we can return the moldy, slimey goo back to its proper owner.

    6. Microwave users: Cover your damn food and wipe up the nasty shit that spills over. There is nothing more disgusting that having to look at crusty old food that your lazy ass didn’t want to clean up. You lazy fuckers, you know exactly who we are talking to!!

    7. Supplies: Bring in your own god damn supplies and do not touch anything, you sonsofbitches!

    8. Kitchen Conversation (our kitchen is open): Please be aware that your loud ass can be heard throughout the office and you aren’t nearly as funny or clever as you think you are. Here’s a hint, Shut the FUCK up!

    King Healthy, will you marry me?

    Aug 22, 2007 at 10:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #86   King Healthy

    hahaha, that is quite the list, thanks Lola.

    Biff (what kind of name is Biff, btw) – you are a flip flopping sob. Don’t forget there is more then one hand feeding your oversized ass…

    Aug 22, 2007 at 11:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #87   Biff Diesel

    Look, Prince Healthy (maybe you’ll be King when you grow up), it’s “HUSKY”, not “oversized”.

    Aug 22, 2007 at 11:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #88   Mrs. Bender

    Wow Mr. Healthy Companies Coordinator – you are pretty sure that this note was gonna work since you are thanking me in advance for my future cooperation. That kind of assumption and cockiness kind of makes me just want to NOT cooperate!

    Thank You Terry!

    Aug 22, 2007 at 11:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #89   Mierin

    Guess what guys! Today I was at work and it was like soooooo boring. I have a boring job cos I livc in Manitoba, and it’s like, totally lame here. I once had this like, totally rad job when I used to live in Calgary, but that was back in the days when I dyed my hair blonde. My mum always says I look pretty just the way I AM, and I think she’s RIGHT, which is why I STOPPED.
    Anyways, I just wanted to let all my supporters out there know that I reeeeally appreciate all your support!! And like, don’t even worry that all the haters on this boared are getting me down, cos my anti-depressants keep me in a state of perma-chipperness!
    Anyways, I have to go obsessively comment on all my other boards, or possibly reply to myself using my extra secret alter ego name, but don’t worry I’ll BRB in 23.5 seconds!!!111oneoneleven

    Aug 23, 2007 at 5:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #90   Mishee

    Manitoba, you are nothing compared to Michael when it comes to mocking me… possibly because you are Canadian. That explains alot right there.

    Michael, come back!

    Aug 23, 2007 at 5:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #91   Mierin

    I’m sorry, but I don’t think Manitoba can hear you, it’s too busy being a province.

    But maybe you didn’t know basic geography…possibly because you are American. That explains your use of non-existent words like “alot” right there.

    Aug 23, 2007 at 5:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #92   Mishee

    Michael? Anyone? Are you there???? Just cause I didn’t call you by the name you chose, and instead chose the area you live in doesn’t mean anything… Just like in Cool Runnings the Swiss team called the Jamacian team… you guessed it, “Jamaica” and people from Texas are called Tex… But I suppose your Canadian humoUr is a little different than us here.

    I think Robin Williams put it best when he said “Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party”…

    Aug 23, 2007 at 5:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #93   joobs

    Is “cos” short for “Cosby?”

    And sorry to disappoint, but I’d have to be Mishee’s girlfriend. I don’t have the right parts to be her boyfriend. ;)

    Aug 23, 2007 at 6:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #94   Mishee

    joobs, will you be my girlfriend?

    Aug 23, 2007 at 6:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #95   joobs

    Gosh, this is all so sudden! And to think we wouldn’t have even gotten so close if Boggy hadn’t given us the idea!

    Aug 23, 2007 at 11:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #96   joobs

    I kind of thought it was Boggy.

    Aug 23, 2007 at 11:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #97   Mierin

    Hmm…I think he said that before the great party downstairs decided it was going to take over all the other apartments in the building…

    But lets get back to the PA note, shall we?

    Personally I’m loving the tuppeware.

    Aug 24, 2007 at 10:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #98   BoggyWoggy

    I just returned from Burger King. Mishee didn’t, “Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce. Special orders don’t upset us. All we ask it that you let us serve it your way.” She gave me a standard burger WITH pickles. I distinctly said, “Hold the pickles, please.” Man, that is TRULY passive-aggressive!

    Aug 24, 2007 at 11:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #99   Strepsi

    post 17 — jen — totally wins!

    Yes, companies like this should hire a TEA LADY. That one full-time salary will save the hour it took this douche to compose the email and the tens of hours it took the employees to laugh at it and post it here. Saving big productiovity $ for company, giving clean mugs, and cheery delivery of tea! LOVE it.

    Aug 29, 2007 at 12:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #100   actually, we just hate you

    [...] related: perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee? [...]

    Dec 14, 2007 at 9:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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