“the healthy companies committee” explains katherine in d.c., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (”ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
the hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “thank you terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) it’s like something straight out of a script from the office.
don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?
reddit!
stumble it!
101 responses so far ↓
#1 twitchy
Wow, the link just puts it over the top
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:16 pm rating: 0
#2 twitchy
http://nannycam.com/camerasalltypes/wirelesscameraspg1.html
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:19 pm rating: 0
#3 LC
I’m confused…what’s wrong with asking people to clean up after themselves like frickin’ adults? I worked in a hospital that had the messiest goddamn doctors on the planet (who felt like I was there to clean their messes up,) so I sorta sympathize.
Aug 20, 2007 at 9:46 pm rating: 0
#4 Wry Exchange
Someone needs spell check, grammar check, and decaf.
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: 0
#5 Foxtrot
Did you check out the costs of the nannycams? 1. What foolish company would spend $300 to find out who is leaving mugs in the sink?
2. Wouldn’t it be great if they bought the fake baby monitor version and set it on the counter like no one is none the wiser?
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:14 pm rating: 0
#6 The Gentle Sherpa
The fourth paragraph of this letter perfectly defines everything I love about this blog. I can hear in crystal clarity the 7 am gnashing of teeth, as the author angrily pukes out the first draft of this neurotic goodness, then an hour later, the delicate 8am shattering of their will to assert themselves as they rewrite it. Go team put-a-hidden-clock-cam-in-this-douchebags-cubicle!
Aug 20, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#7 Quoibina
I just want to know more about those yellow mystery fluids, quite frankly.
Or maybe not.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 0
#8 Zsa
Wonder who comes in at 7am to 7 dirty cups and cant even get a glass of water without compulsively cleaning?
I would LOVE to see the NannyCam of him ranting to himself when he opens the dishwasher and *gasp* it’s empty! No one even bothered to put the dirty dishes IN it, let alone run it. grrr… grumble… snarl.
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
#9 Zsa
hey, at least the silly balloons are not yellow any more
Aug 20, 2007 at 11:49 pm rating: 0
#10 Vampira
No joke, that was nasty. >_
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:03 am rating: 0
#11 Zsa
I totally got busted at work this morning for being on an “unauthorized site” cuz of those screaming yellow posts. Gotta have my morning laugh at the coffee break!!! What do I do?
I begged and whined and made him actually READ the post. Good thing the system security geek got a good laugh at the pube post. I just had to promise not to post any more.
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:16 am rating: 0
#12 Shelby
Buy a $400 nanny cam to catch someone who doesn’t wash dishes?
I hope the Healthy Companies Committee has a Healthy Budget Committee.
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:20 am rating: 0
#13 jen
The email subject is the best. “What will it take??”, indeed.
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 0
#14 Mrs. Bender
I love how the link goes to an air purifier cam - so they show them the nanny cam and what it will be hidden in… then why bother buying a HIDDEN camera is everyone knows where the hell it is at??? Am I the only one not getting this??
Aug 21, 2007 at 1:16 am rating: 0
#15 Mishee
Wow PAN God you put up two in a day!! U Rock!!
BTW, I actually work at a DESK in an OFFICE… I don’t know how many of you ever heard of a fast food worker having internet access at work? (it’s been 10 years, but when I worked at a pizza joint in high school, there were no computers there…) DUH!
Aug 21, 2007 at 1:18 am rating: 0
#16 T-Bone
It is unclear to me whether “The Healthy Companies Committee” is concerned about their employees’ mental health, or a possible hepatitis epidemic.
Aug 21, 2007 at 1:23 am rating: 0
#17 jen
This could have come from our office. Wouldn’t it be much more productive all round if companies just put the ‘tea lady’ back on?
Aug 21, 2007 at 1:32 am rating: 0
#18 Ceryniti
We have already established that everyone who posts here has no life. Accept, and move on…
Hey, at least I’m honest.
As for the posts… I used to work in a telemarketing office, and it got so bad the management decided to spring for a cleaning lady. 14 hours a day, that woman was our savior. I felt bad for her.
Aug 21, 2007 at 2:38 am rating: 0
#19 EmeraldMPH
This is a perfect example of people who are unnecessary. If I come into the office and see a mess in the kitchen, I grumble about the assholes who did it and leave it all there. Must be nice to spend an hour cleaning someone else’s crap and another hour composing an email because you don’t have any real work to do.
Aug 21, 2007 at 2:53 am rating: 0
#20 magpie
whoever dumped seven mug-fulls of murky liquid in the sink should have noticed my name PLASTERED all over the cups. now i have to go all morning thirsty thanks to you. oh, and that mysterious yellow liquid? i was saving that for lunch. there better be a replacement by tomorrow. Thanks, Terry.
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:05 am rating: 0
#21 Heather
Foxtrot’s idea was good.
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:19 am rating: 0
#22 Craniac
they have a dishwasher?!!! high class place. how sad no one uses it.
Aug 21, 2007 at 5:11 am rating: 0
#23 Vikki
It would be funnier if my own group hadn’t had an entire hour long meeting to “solve” a similar problem (where in it was revealed that our boss and her boss where the ones casually leaving dishes to be cleaned since their time was more important than everyone else’s).
Aug 21, 2007 at 5:51 am rating: 0
#24 Alan
“tuppeware full of yellow mystery fluids” HAHAHAH at least its not “tupperware full of WHITE mystery fluids” Laugh Out Loud
Aug 21, 2007 at 6:28 am rating: 0
#25 Andy
Hrm. I don’t know which one I like best: “fly-attracting murky liquids”, “mystery yellow liquid” or “nannycam”.
I’d have to go with the first, since it has drama (fly-attracting), mystery (murky) and comedy (liquids).
Now, the intent of the note, I totally agree with. People can be such slobs at work, especially when you take the “not my job” attitude.
We have a garbage disposal in the sink. So, how hard is it to give it a turn when you rinse out your disgusting lunch? Nah. Just let the remnants of your horrible excuse for a diet rot in the sink, or better yet, rinse your plate in the sink side WITHOUT a garbage disposal.
Hmmm… sorry for the rant. Maybe a lot of my co-workers are Amish, and they are only used to those pedal-driven garbage disposals.
Aug 21, 2007 at 6:47 am rating: 0
#26 super_fan#99
I can’t stand it when people don’t clean up after themselves at work, it drives me insane.
The weird thing is, I’m not like that at home. I’m actually a slob at home. Maybe I just hate everyone I work with already and everything they do puts me over the edge.
Aug 21, 2007 at 8:17 am rating: 0
#27 GhostWriter
What I believe:
(a) There were really only four cups in the sink, with a tiny bit of coffee in one of them.
(b) The cup owners never intended to wash their cups- they just wanted to keep them on the counter, nearby the coffee maker. Big deal.
(c) King Healthy is just itching to install a nanny cam, and will probably do so (with his own money) just so he can spend all day monitoring the break room instead of working.
(d) If it took King Healthy an hour to write that note, I would hate to have to work a cost proposal with him; thus maybe it’s better if he does just monitor the break room.
Aug 21, 2007 at 8:28 am rating: 0
#28 Kristin
If I worked there I might buy an air purifier and set it on the counter, just to let that guy wonder haha
Aug 21, 2007 at 8:53 am rating: 0
#29 Al Hanso
I wish we had a dishwasher in our office kitchen.
Give people a sink and they complain about other people not manually washing mugs. Give them a dishwasher and they complain about people not starting the machine. I wonder if the people at Google complain about their robot dishwashers.
Aug 21, 2007 at 9:12 am rating: 0
#30 aliastaken
Al, I was going to say the same thing. What kind of office kitchen has a dishwasher?! Answer: One in a company that has a committee for clean-up and can afford a nannycam for the break room.
Aug 21, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#31 Janey
Everyone should have to use their own coffee mugs…that way if their cup is dirty, there’s no one to blame but themselves.
@Kristin (#30): What an excellent idea!
Aug 21, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: 0
#32 Hannah
Our office has a dishwasher, and we just got a nice note posted above it! I need to hurry up and get a camera in here.
(Our office has a full kitchen: stove, oven, three microwaves, two full size fridges plus mini fridges on every floor, a supply of bowls, plates, and silverware, toaster, and yes…a dishwasher. it’s better than my house)
Aug 21, 2007 at 9:31 am rating: 0
#33 Darren
our office has a little coffee/tea area with a dishwasher that never gets ran, and a separate lunch area. Management noticed that the sink in the lunch area keps piling up with dishes, so they installed a second dishwasher so that people would not have to walk all the way to the coffee area (50′). Now we have 2 dishwashers and 2 sinks full of dishes. I wonder if they will install some more dishwashers, maybe one under my desk, it is piling up with coffee mugs
Aug 21, 2007 at 9:36 am rating: 0
#34 annie
That yellow mystery fluid was f***ing delicious!
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:06 am rating: 0
#35 Andy
annie: Thank you. I was hoping someone would say that.
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:09 am rating: 0
#36 IKM
The letter writer is completely right. My heart goes out to anyone who must deal with disgusting, selfish, unmannerly pigs like this person’s co-workers.
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 0
#37 lauralaiwc
my office has a dishwasher, but that doesnt mean we can afford the nanny cams :-p although i must say thats a relief. i lock myself in the break room for naps every now and then.
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:29 am rating: 0
#38 Tosha
I want to buy one of those nanny cams and set in my office…although, I may see things that I’d rather not.
And, no dishwasher at my work, also though, we have about 6 people that work here, so… who needs a dishwasher? Hah.
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:40 am rating: 0
#39 PatHMV
They don’t need a nanny-cam. According to recent research, they can just post a photocopy of a set of eyes above the sink, and people will behave as if they actually were being watched by somebody.
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:41 am rating: 0
#40 magpie
pat: that’s really cool! thanks for that
Aug 21, 2007 at 10:56 am rating: 0
#41 mere
zsa (#11)- good thing you promised not to post!
okay,
a) i’m jealous they HAVE a dishwasher. i don’t understand how it could be so hard to put dishes IN the dishwasher.
2)nannycam?! seriously? and who would have access to said images of nannycam? the guy who has to write and re-write to contain his anger?
x) i’m on team ambivilant. it shouldn’t be hard to clean up after yourself, however, there’s got to be a better way to approach the subject.
oh… and
9) YAY for no more YELLOW bubbles!!!!
Aug 21, 2007 at 11:00 am rating: 0
#42 Mrs. Bender
I just love the murky liquids comment - such great imagery for the reader to experience!
Aug 21, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#43 Dinah
I too, get annoyed with the brats who can’t be troubled to pick up after themselves. I wouldn’t bother with a “health committee” or a nanny-cam though.
Maybe I’d just adulterate the coffee, in a passive-aggressive way.
Aug 21, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#44 D_luv
I can just picture this guy — a reworked Officer Tackleberry type. Chief of the Office KGB (Kitchen Gendarmes Bureau… has a delightfully European feel:))
Mission: to ENFORCE the law of the dishwasher and punish dish offenders for their crimes.
He probably has night vision goggles and a copy of soldier of fortune magazine in his desk drawer. Quick, someone go check and post the results!
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:21 pm rating: 0
#45 Joanna
Quoibina, I’m right there with you about the “yellow fluid”.
It sounds delicious. Deliciously frightening.
Thanks,
Terry.
P.S. Has anyone seen my red stapler??
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:25 pm rating: 0
#46 Jen
I’m definitely with the note writer. Piled up dishes are disgusting and there are way too many people who will leave their messiness for someone else to clean up.
However, I think the best part of this note is that someone stole the August page of the calendar. Someone really didn’t want to do their week o’ kitchen duty.
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#47 GhostWriter
Look guys, the “yellow mystery fluid” is my chicken broth and I keep it in the fridge. It happened to be out on the counter for about two minutes because I stepped back to my desk for a phone call, and King Healthy hates it because he’s a vegan. So when I get back to the break room, King Healthy has just poured by broth down the drain, and has the gall to look up at me and say, “What WAS that sh!t?”
I think he feels guilty about it, because then he sent out that note with a big to-do about my yellow mystery fluid (which, by the way, was labeled “B R O T H” on the lid).
The guy is out of control.
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:53 pm rating: 0
#48 Tarn
I’m down with the sentiment, but the email is classic PA. Very this site!
My office has a dishwasher AND a cleaner. But some people are still pigs about it, leaving their dishes out on the counter all day, or putting them in the dishwasher when it needs emptying, so the dirty dishes drip all over the clean ones.
We’ve had notes, emails from the boss, whatever, and it still happens. What my colleagues really need is an in-office mommy…
Aug 21, 2007 at 12:53 pm rating: 0
#49 super_fan#99
Team in-office-mommy! I wish I had one….
Aug 21, 2007 at 1:05 pm rating: 0
#50 Fraulein N
You know, I get why King Healthy is annoyed, but the whole angry, early morning, thrice-edited note is just a bit much. Also, in true p-a fashion, he cleaned up the mess, THEN complained about having to clean up the mess.
Either clean up and shut up, or DON’T clean up and then you can complain all you want about the slobs you work with.
Aug 21, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#51 Mishee
Shag, I’ll add you to the mailing list of Mishee Supporters… we have a secret handshake you will have to learn though!
And I just re-read Jordan’s note again (since I have so many Anti-Mishee comments, it’s hard to keep them all straight now) and I realized I never addressed the statement
“Dear fucking god, you’re are a very annoying person. I hope to not see you in real life. I bet you’re a rambler..”
Ummm, yeah, I’m just a BIT of a rambler… my co-workers laughed at me yesterday when I called myself an Introvert… I’m still wondering why??? (Did I mention I just started this new job 1 week and 2 days ago - they just get me…)
Aug 21, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
#52 Nattie
Team Mishee all the way. Can we have flags and banners? Or even better, a committee to organise all the teams and make sure they’re all kitted out with flags and whatnot?
Aug 21, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#53 Juliet
Some people cannot be trained to clean up after themselves. Maybe their parents did everything for them, or they just forgot about their dishes.
I think it is high time the human race accepted this fact and moved on. Seriously you will age 20 years if you make kitchen patrol a priority.
A nannycam? Get real.
Aug 21, 2007 at 2:53 pm rating: 0
#54 Dave9
Yes, Team Mishee! The Healthy Companies Committee reminds me of the Happy Hands Club on Napoleon Dynamite.
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:10 pm rating: 0
#55 Hannah
I just dug around our office kitchen a little more: they even supply us with cabinet full of spices and oils in case we feel like really cooking down there!
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:26 pm rating: 0
#56 Mierin
Post A big Evil Eye above the sink to get people to clean.
Also, mess may be gross, but it’s not really all that unhealthy. Who cares. We live in an oversterilized culture anyway. As long as noone is contagious, you’re probably fine.
Also I had to laugh my ass off at the King Healthy thing.
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:26 pm rating: 0
#57 Mishee
I just was browsing on StumbleUpon and found this nice PA note somewhere on the web… it’s pretty funny although it’s from “Mom” it has nothing to do with doing dishes!!
http://www.stickam.com/media/pictures/175241092.html
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:37 pm rating: 0
#58 DUH
I don’t know which is more PA: the fact that his distribution is called “Staff”, or the fact that he ends his note with “Thank you for your future cooperation.” I hate that!
As for keeping the office slobs in check, I suggest Terry Tate:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6238953685626218421
Aug 21, 2007 at 3:56 pm rating: 0
#59 Mrs. Bender
Duh, should we say “Thank You” to the guy in the Video?
Ok, I will…
Thank you Terry!
hehe
Aug 21, 2007 at 4:02 pm rating: 0
#60 DUH
Ha! Didn’t even notice that! Funny.
Aug 21, 2007 at 4:05 pm rating: 0
#61 Writer, Rejected
I think I’d jump out a window if I worked in office that had an “office pep squad,” even one that didn’t call itself the “healthy companies committee,” which sounds more like a set up for the “dysfunctional passive-aggressive companies committee” to me.
Aug 21, 2007 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
#62 Darcy
I agree, the best part is totally the fact that somebody ripped off the August page of the calendar in a clear “fuck you” to kitchen duties.
Aug 21, 2007 at 4:54 pm rating: 0
#63 BoggyWoggy
This goes under the category: Things that could be said in 15 words or less, but are said in 1500 words, instead!
Oh, and I took the calendar. It was the only way I could figure out how to get out of washing everyone else’s crap.
Aug 21, 2007 at 5:03 pm rating: 0
#64 marla
[description of my office kitchen]
Aug 21, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#65 Jess
Seriously, a nanny cam?!?!!!! This guy needs a hobby, or a pet. Or maybe to go home once in a while. Or maybe a happier home life. Or maybe, medication. I don’t know, but anybody who’s this interested in the office kitchen has something missing in their life!
Aug 21, 2007 at 7:13 pm rating: 0
#66 BoggyWoggy
OK, just have to comment:
Mishee is annoying. Fact #1
I’m guessing…oh, say, 26 years old. Fact #2
She sits at her desk reading this site most of the day, hoping to see her name pop up again. Fact #3
She reveals personal information about herself, injecting into her replies about others’ comments. Fact #4.
She isn’t earning her keep at the job. Fact #5.
This site is all about creativity, ranting, and quips. I’d like Mishee to come up with a quip about this note…that is NOT a follow-up to something someone else wrote. She won’t be able to do it. Fact #6
Aug 21, 2007 at 7:30 pm rating: 0
#67 Nattie
Boggy….surely if you’re only guessing her age, it can’t be considered a fact?
Aug 21, 2007 at 7:44 pm rating: 0
#68 Mishee