annie writes, “this a note my roommate left me expressing her discontent with me because i would, while straightening up, put her placemats back in the drawer. i was putting away her placemats to clean up… but also because they are the most hideous things i have ever seen [see exhibit b]. she also got mad at me for putting out my old bathmat while i was washing hers. i especially like that she assumes i will ‘trash it’ when i am ready.”
EXHIBIT B, the placemats:
reddit!
stumble it!
229 responses so far ↓
#1 The Other Commenter
Gah! My eyes! Surely Bonnie has some other piece of personal decoration that would be more appropriate. Something Bedazzled, perhaps.
Aug 23, 2007 at 10:37 am
#2 mere
so, you clean around the house and do the laundry .. your reward: dancing chef placemats.
awesome.
okey dokey.
i wonder if annie sent a text wanting ‘to talk ‘ about it.
Aug 23, 2007 at 10:38 am
#3 Zigs
Annie was right to hide those placemats —
They’re the kind of thing you’d find in a “kitchen mockup” of a below average furniture store.
Oofah. As soon as Bonnie gets some taste, then she should start contributing to the house decorations.
Aug 23, 2007 at 10:43 am
#4 Trevor
The placemats? Yeah, not such great taste.
Annie sending her note and a pic of the ‘mats for all to mock? That’s in worse taste.
Aug 23, 2007 at 10:52 am
#5 Mrs. Bender
Oh my god, those placemats are just plain hideous! I wouldn’t have just put them in the drawer Annie, I think I would’ve probably thrown them in the fireplace (while a fire was in it)! If I were Bonnie I not only wouldn’t have bought the placemats, but I certainly wouldn’t lay claim to them as my own! Bonnie, find something else of yours to decorate the house with!! As for the bathmat, Annie, you don’t have to part with yours until you are “ready” - don’t rush the separation process though, it’s not good for the psyche.
But I do have to say the note is very well written with paragraphs and just beautiful penmanship, and don’t get alot of that here on this site!
Aug 23, 2007 at 10:56 am
#6 lauralaiwc
id burn them, personally. forget this passive aggressive stuff, lets just be aggressive.
id love to see a reciprocal note about having replacement place mats ready to go for when the roomie is ready to trash hers, as they slide about on the table.
there has to be either more stress in the house for someone to freak out over putting place mats away…i only put mine out when i have company so it looks nice…or the note-writer needs to take a nap and stop being cranky.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:00 am
#7 Zen
Are you for real? You actually clean and she has a problem with her fugly placemats. You seem so considerate with the temporary bath rug exchange too.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I put my placemats away after each use and take them out when we are having a meal. Leaving them out seems messy and cluttered to me.
I wonder what her real problem is with you.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:01 am
#8 ursula
So, yeah, not many people are going to like those place mats, but heh, in life you have to compromise. It sounds like she really likes them and what’s the harm of having them out on the table if it makes her feel good? Lighten up and stop being a style nazi. And embarrassing other people to make yourself feel superior= LAME.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:02 am
#9 Toby
Those place mats. Burn them!
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:02 am
#10 anglophile
Oh for cripe’s sakes. Let the poor girl have her placemats out. What’s the difference?
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:04 am
#11 CA Girl
AHHH! My eyes! It feels like burning!
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:08 am
#12 CA Girl
The one thing I am wondering… DID Annie have a fun day with her family? Because family is important!
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:17 am
#13 Naomi
I think my corneas are forever tortured by that ugly thing.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:19 am
#14 Katy
Team Annie, I say. Her roommate is LOOKING for a fight and just needs to STFU.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:27 am
#15 MK
Gahd! I don’t miss the wasted evil energy housemates bring out in one another. My housemate Brad used to label all his food, but would try to be funny. Like “Eggs O’Brad”. Then I found a six-month-old dozen of that effer’s eggs when moving out, and I wanted to stuff em in a box and mail them to him. No denying they were his at that point.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:36 am
#16 Hannah
Eh. Team Need More Info. Sure, the place mats aren’t great, but if Annie decorated the rest of the house, then for crissake give the girl her friggin place mats!
Bonnie wrote this really calming and sweetly, and as it stands now, Annie looks like a pretty vindictive person for sending it AND a picture of the place mats along.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:36 am
#17 Shae
HOLEY MOLEY. I was expecting bad placemats, VERY bad placemats, but I was still not prepared for what I scrolled down to see.
What the hell’s going on there? Are those guys in the middle sitting on each other’s laps? Or is that a set of siamese triplets?
I think they’ve all had a little too much wine… as did the roommate who purchased them.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:39 am
#18 CA Girl
I think all those chefs should really put down the bread and pasta… maybe try Atkins?
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:42 am
#19 Max Roswell
The placemats are truly heinous, but I don’t find the note to be too passive/aggressive. Seems like a polite request from an obviously blind person.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:42 am
#20 Joanna
The best part of the note would be the “Okey Dokey”.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:46 am
#21 Anon
Team Compromise here. If Bonnie hates the bath mat and Annie hates the placemats, why don’t you agree to remove both? If it’s really an issue, Annie, which it seems to be for Bonnie, you need to work on integrating your two styles. Go shopping together for new bath mats or placemats that you can both agree on. Then if Bonnie still wants her placemats she can use them for end table covers in her bedroom. Problem solved.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:54 am
#22 Patrick
The Note: Very sweet and nice way to say. “I grind my teeth and growl when I see my mats gone and hence you are an Ass. Have a GREAT day!”
The Mats: I read through the federal statute regarding fashion taste. The crime of owning and displaying such hideous items carries a life sentence with Martha Stewart without possibility of parole.
Trevor: You are retarded.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:54 am
#23 Goldie
So Annie actually cleans after Bonnie and this is the thanks she gets?
These are some fugly placemats, BTW. Nothing says “bon appetit” as a drawing of three fat dancing guys!
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:55 am
#24 Anon
And Patrick, I agree RE: Trevor.
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:55 am
#25 jen
This one smells of impending escalation. It’s like passive-aggressive theater:
“I’m pretending to put these away to be neat and conscientious, but I’m really making a PA statement about what I think of your taste.”
“Rather than ask WTF about my placemats and what you are implying about my taste, I will leave the fifth draft of a note in my best 8th grade handwriting after discussing it at length with my mom and two of my best friends from summer camp.”
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:57 am
#26 PatHMV
Right on, Jen…
Constantly putting away the (admittedly) hideous placemats is definitely PA. And really, the note’s not PA. It says very clearly what the problem is, that Annie’s decorated the place to look the way she wants it to look, without letting Bonnie do her share of the decorating in the common areas. Every time Bonnie tries to put something of hers out, Annie puts it away, replaces it “temporarily” or whatever.
At least Bonnie’s started a conversation about what’s bothering her, unlike Annie, who just briskly hides everything of Bonnie’s that she doesn’t like. They need to sit down and negotiate. Annie can’t stand the hideous placemats, but maybe there’s something else Bonnie would like to put out that would be more tolerable that they can compromise on.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:07 pm
#27 Katzendogz
I agree with Trevor and Ursula. The point of this site is to mock passive aggressive notes, not a person’s taste in furnishings.
Also, the people who think it’s also in bad taste for Bonnie to be upset when Annie has cleaned, why is that even relevant? Maybe it was Annie’s turn to clean.
Annie is being passive aggressive too, because she’s admitted to us that she put away the place mats because she finds them ugly. If they had been her place mats, she likely would have set them aside while cleaning the table and then put them back. I’m sure Bonnie knows this, and because she feels like nothing in the common areas reflect her taste it’s ticking her off.
Both of these girls are guilty of PA behavior, and I agree with Anon in #22 that they should solve the problem by picking out something they both like for the dining and bathrooms.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:08 pm
#28 agirlie
Poor Annie having to deal with such an awful situation!
You know, having a roommate is hard enough without turning molehills onto mountains.
I agree with ursula and Hannah.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:11 pm
#29 Fraulein N
I agree with Anon — Team Compromise.
Lurve Bonnie’s handwriting and grammar, though!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:16 pm
#30 CA Girl
Thank God my first REAL “roommate” (living with a friend at her parent’s house doesn’t count) happens to be my husband… he likes whatever styles and furnishings I TELL him to like!!
But I can’t get away from just how awful those placemats are! I wonder how different these comments would be if Annie hadn’t supplied Exhibit B…?
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:18 pm
#31 LC
What prevents Annie from simply stating to Bonnie “Hey, I don’t care for the fugly mats, so when we’re not eating I’m going to put them away”?
I’m kinda on Bonnie’s side here. She seems to want to work things out politely, at least. Unless they live in some kind of goddamed show palace and entertain foreign dignitaries on a nightly basis, the fugly placemats don’t seem like such a ridiculous concession on Annie’s part. DON’T BE A SNOBBY BITCH!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:20 pm
#32 Rebecca
I’m with Bonnie on this one. She wrote a perfectly pleasant note, and everything she asked seemed reasonable. If Annie had a problem with that note, she probably would be hard to live with, and Bonnie should get some credit for putting up with what seems like a controlling roommate.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:29 pm
#33 Cathy
I was immediately struck by Bonnie’s sweet, childlike penmanship (not a good thing, in my experience, as it usually indicates emotional immaturity).
Then I was struck by that place mat. Seems a bit racy to me. What are those three in the middle doing?! Is that one naked? Is the one in the back going to kiss the others or is he just enjoying the antics of the other two? And what on earth is under the shirt/dress of the one on the right and why is he caressing it!?
For an emotionally immature chick, she sure seems to appreciate a little of the salacious with her meal.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:31 pm
#34 tweedle
tweedle dee and tweedle dum; we all take turns being thum.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:35 pm
#35 elsa
I am Italian and our bodies aren’t shaped like that!!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:36 pm
#36 CA Girl
Elsa, I don’t think anyone who isn’t a Muppet is shaped like that… don’t you think these guys look like the Chef Muppet or is it just me?
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:37 pm
#37 iamhotterthanyouandurmommatoo
i disagree with ALL of you. those placemats are AWESOME and should be allowed their day in the sun.
team placemats
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:42 pm
#38 Mrs. Bender
So Bonnie thinks she is hotter and me and my momma too? Cause there definitely cannot be TWO people in this world who like those placemats!!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:44 pm
#39 GooMan
Okey Dokey?
LOL!!!!!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:44 pm
#40 Rachel B.
Both girls involved seem pleasant enough and should have the right to have a few things around that make them smile, therefore I find myself voting for Team: too much freaking orange!!!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:47 pm
#41 Shae
It doesn’t matter how politely Bonnie asked. Home decor is a privilege, not a right.
Anyone who chooses such blatantly horrific place mats will have to learn that she has not earned the privilege to have “a few things of [her] own” around the house.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:51 pm
#42 the hyper one
I’m with team “hide the hideous place mats”. And I cannot believe that Annie washed the bathmat. What nerve.
Okey Dokey!
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:56 pm
#43 Amanda
It’s a little PA to put your roommates’ ugly place mats away under the guise of cleaning, but Bonnie should really lighten up before freaking out that all of her stuff has gone missing. As this site proves, she’s lucky enough that she has a roommate who cares to clean. This whole thing could be solved by compromise.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:57 pm
#44 Joe
As someone who has been roommates with a person who was already living in the house before I moved in, and had to keep the vast majority of my very nice household stuff crammed into a storage shed in the backyard, I know how Bonnie feels. Lighten up, Annie. Is it your place and is Bonnie just renting a room from you, or does the place belong to both of you? Do you want it to feel like home to her, or do you want her to feel like you wish she would just stay in her bedroom and only creep out after you are asleep? While you’re at it, why don’t you post some pics of your decor? I’m sure we could all have fun trashing your idea of what looks good.
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:58 pm
#45 Fulano
Who even uses placemats anymore? How old are these people, five?
Aug 23, 2007 at 12:58 pm
#46 Shannon from Canada
Good lord . . . those are fucking ugly. Why in the world would she find those “nice”? SERIOUSLY!? What are they made of? Plastic covered felt? Looks like they came from a dollar store, a really crappy dollar store.
I am totally on team “hide the ugly place mats!”
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:04 pm
#47 Heathen
I’m with team “Annie is a Twat.” That was a nice note, it wasn’t passive aggressive or even aggressive. Annie sounds like a vile human being, a terrible snob, and someone who communicates by posting private messages for the whole world to see.
I know it’s nice to be 23 and know everything about life, but being an adult is about compromise. Someday you’ll grow up — hopefully — and laugh at yourself for being such a bitch.
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:06 pm
#48 super_fan#99
#38…you beat me to it. I like the placemats, I think they are cool. That being said, if you’re not eating at the table, put ‘em away. I don’t know of anyone in my life that considers placemats as decoration.
Also…I would like to know what was left with the note.
Text me at work if you wanna talk indeed!
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:08 pm
#49 Jen
Agreeing with its a PA contest. “Text me if you want to talk” and leaving notes - what is this 5th grade. Grow up and have a conversation. It’s called talking to each other. And sending the note and the pix in - come on - begging for sympathy or at least snide comments.
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:08 pm
#50 jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!
classic passive agressiveness
and shit placemats
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:13 pm
#51 Zora
Leaving placemats on a table in between meals is tacky. It’s the tableware etiquette equivalent of saying “between you and I.”
But if Annie wins on that front, she might be rewarded by framed pictures of dancing chefs in the name of household decor equity. Is it passive aggressive of me to kind of hope for that?
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:20 pm
#52 GVI
this note sucks..they were both P/A and those placemats were ugly
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:28 pm
#53 will
I often require a long buildup before I’m ready to trash a bathmat. Also, those place mats are horrible.
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:35 pm
#54 Mrs. Bender
If I were to be invited to a dinner party, and sat down at the table with those placemats in front of me… well, I don’t think I would be able to eat, instead I would concentrate on just how much I hate those mats and I would most likely say something about them to my host…
Time for Annie and Bonnie to go to Pier 1 or World Market and pick out some placemats and bathmats together that they both agree on!
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:38 pm
#55 Quoibina
Three thoughts here:
1. Why don’t they use the placemats as bathmats and vice versa? How’s that for a compromise?
2. Are we certain that Annie’s style is any better than Bonnie’s? She could love orange shag and sunflower wallpaper.
3. Did anyone bother to ask Terry for an opinion so we can send a note of thanks?
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:46 pm
#56 Writer, Rejected
Tempest in a teapot. This roommate situation is really too small to get worked up over, in my opinion. What’s the big deal about having to take your placemats out of a drawer at mealtime? They should only be out when you eat on them anyway. Or in this case, when you are carrying them to the too-ugly-to-use trash. And if she wants other stuff of her own, she should hang a painting or two, preferrably not of wierd fat Italian chefs, but whatev.
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:48 pm
#57 Terry
They suck!
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:52 pm
#58 John
I was on her side until I actually saw the placemats. No mercy!
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:53 pm
#59 chloé
Is it sick that I really really want Italian now?
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:57 pm
#60 joobs
Ewwww. My house used to have orange shag, and the wallpaper had HUGE orange, green, and yellow poppies. And that was the dining room.
I think Bonnie went out of her way to be nice about it. Yeah, the placemats aren’t fabulous, but come on, let the poor girl put out a couple of measly things.
Not too passive aggressive. More like anal retentive on the part of Annie.
Aug 23, 2007 at 1:59 pm
#61 s
i dont know what’s more annoying, the placemats or her handwriting.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:07 pm
#62 Heather
“Okey dokey.”
Classic. Bad taste and bad vocabulary.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:11 pm
#63 Matt
This why I live alone!!!
I think those placemats were on sale at Garden Ridge like 3 years ago. I think they are discriminatory to overweight chefs. What about their feelings?? Although, it would make a great diet plan. Always eating off of those things…looking at what you will become if you keep eating. It’s better than bulemia!!!
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:18 pm
#64 Matt
And I forgot an “is”
“This IS why I live alone”
40 lashes from the grammar police please. with the fuzzy handcuffs.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:20 pm
#65 Jen
hey Matt - do you mean the police with the fuzzy handcuffs, or do you want to be lashed with the fuzzy handcuffs.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:25 pm
#66 Erin
Heathen and others of like mind:
Any time you communicate with your roommate about something sorta contentious like this, and where there’s clearly tension going on, in a NOTE, it’s automatically PA in my book.
Also, I do think if it’s true that Bonnie doesn’t have much stuff in the apartment that’s hers, that she should be able to put her placemats out. However, not these. Hideousness is in the eye of the beholder, and while the consensus reveals they are considered such by most, that’s not the reason for why they must go. In any shared housing situation “neutral” is the key, and these are not. Like neon beer signs, only a very small and specific set of people would like these mats. Bonnie should find mats she likes that are a little more neutral.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:28 pm
#67 ShagNBag
P/A is all about the moment when, probably in reaction to some mundane or trivial disagreement, you decide to pick up a pen and spend 10 or 20 minutes putting your frustration into prose instead of having a face to face conversation . We’re all fascinated by the thought process that goes into that moment.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:40 pm
#68 nate
Well? DID you have a good time with your family?
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:52 pm
#69 grundrisse
Although the placemats are hideous, and it is tacky to leave them out in between meals, annie sounds like the p.a. one to me in this situation. Hiding the placemats in order to clean? Have you made it clear just how much you dislike the placemats? In a face-to-face conversation? Sure, the note is p.a. too, the p.s is classic. But I think hiding the ‘mats in a drawer instead of vocalizing one’s dislike is far more p.a. than leaving a timid, obfuscating note.
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:58 pm
#70 Not telling
Umm… not that I love them but those are super kitsch. And super fun! I think both roomies are major bitches.
PS My boyfriend’s mom leaves out her placemats. But this gets better: they’re meshy/grids that crumbs and liquid go right through.
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:03 pm
#71 Mierin
1. All placemats are hideous. I have never seen beautiful placemats. As placemats go, they’re halfway decent (is thinking of the flourescent pink, green and yellow vinyl ones present in my house as a child).
2. Maybe Bonnie’s dead grandma gave her those ugly things, so they’re all sentimental. Ever think of that?
3. It’s her house too. It’s really terrible when you feel like you don’t belong in her own house. You should be putting your roommates happiness ahead of your petty dislikes.
4. If you really hate them, maybe you can go shopping together for a bunch of new things that you can both compromise on and split the bill. That way you’ll both feel at home.
4. Annie, you’re a total style nazi, and you were a jerk to post this. Bonnie seems like a pretty cool chick, actually. Who cares if she likes ugly placemats? DEAL. I’m sure she hates your hideous curtains or something. I encourage Bonnie to hide things (ie BATH MAT) and replace them with more of her own stuff. Preferably in colours you hate.
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:09 pm
#72 Nanna
Team Notes are PA. Also, I have placemats, and I see nothing wrong with leaving them out all the time, since my table is new and I want it protected but not covered. That said, my placemats are a plain black satin, not dancing chefs. Also, has no one noticed the food splatter on this placemat? Are they putting away dirty placemats? Ew. The fact is that these two girls really need to have a discussion about shared living space. Neutral is definitely the way to go.
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:11 pm
#73 lauralaiwc
everyone is saying how vindictive it was for her to send pictures of the placemats in, but you know if she didn’t everyone would be saying “now, we need to see what those placemats look like in order to make a proper call on this thing.”
damned if she didnt, and screwed cause she did!
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:12 pm
#74 Mrs. Bender
I am totally with you on that on laura! As for the P.S. I was thinking about this earlier, and if there were only a way to scan them in, they could start a spin off website called “passiveaggressivetexts.com” - Lord knows I have sent a few (okay, ALOT!) in my time!
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:26 pm
#75 annie
Disclaimer: I’m not the Annie that posted that note.
Dear other Annie,
You’re kinda being uncool. Bonnie was just trying to be nice.
loveyoumeanitkisses!
-Team 3-headed chef
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:28 pm
#76 Canuck
I agree with PatHMV. At least Bonnie tried to discuss the issue with Annie, whereas Annie just posted the note for all to see. That’s maturity, jeez. Who cares how ugly the mats are or whose are used in the bathroom-the issue is that if Annie doesn’t like something of Bonnie’s-she hides it, and Bonnie is bothered by this and she has every right to be. She pays half the bills, half the rent-she has as much right to put her stuff out as Annie. The note is not PA, its simply one roommate trying to communicate with the other. Annie comes off as a control/neat freak. How exactly is putting place mats away considered cleaning?
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:29 pm
#77 pry
whoa, what is this strange world in which people use placemats?
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:32 pm
#78 Black Bellamy
She writes a nice and polite note and ends it with a “hope you had a good time with your family” and you rush to the internets because omg you like that passiveaggresive site and this might qualify so screw Bonnie. Right?
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:40 pm
#79 lauralaiwc
i think a good url for this site would be placetojumpthegunandjudgeall.com
no one knows the full story here. we can form opinions, of course, but we will never know both sides of the coin!
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:41 pm
#80 Linda
It sounds like the passive-aggressive is the one putting the place mats in the bedroom…..
If the rest of the place has your stuff, she is entitled to use her placemats.
I’m sure if you told her you were only using the thin, old, dirty bathmat while the new one was in the wash, I’m sure she would understand.
It sounds like you should live alone.
Aug 23, 2007 at 4:02 pm
#81 whatever
My girlfriend is in a similar situation, with a few exceptions. She cleans everything AND she has the placements she wants to leave out. Her roommate who doesn’t clean anything puts the placemats out of sight when she sees them… they aren’t anything like this placements though! They’re just regular, red fabric placemats. I’d say team placemats though, just because it’s frustrating when you have only a few decorations you like in a room full of your roommate’s and then the roommate hides yours…. cleaning has nothing to do with decorations in this argument.
Aug 23, 2007 at 4:16 pm
#82 Zora
how is putting placemats in a drawer passive aggressive? That’s where mine go - you know, in between meals. Who said anything about a bedroom?
In addition to the fact that she could have more easily said this all to Annie, Bonnie’s being PA by ascribing motive to her roommate’s actions. A simple “Please leave the placemats out, ” (with or without “because I like the house to look like a diner”) is better than “I know you don’t like them, but you’re being mean.”
Aug 23, 2007 at 4:29 pm
#83 Joe
“A simple ‘Please leave the placemats out,’ (with or without “because I like the house to look like a dinerâ€) is better than ‘I know you don’t like them, but you’re being mean.’”
Gee, Zora, read into things much?
Aug 23, 2007 at 4:41 pm
#84 lauralaiwc
placemats just go away when youre not eating them. especially ones with food on them. no one wants to look at that between meals.
lol, i guess annie cleans everything but these dastardly mats!
Aug 23, 2007 at 4:45 pm