The farewell email to end all farewell emails

August 27th, 2007 · 163 comments

All I can say is…wow.

the farewell email to end all farewell emails

(click to enlarge!)

FILED UNDER: art · most popular notes of 2007 · New York · office · oh snap · raging against the machine · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)


163 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Lorina

    Oh Jason–I think I love you!

    Aug 27, 2007 at 11:24 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Anna-banana

    Nice!

    Aug 27, 2007 at 11:29 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Anna-banana

    Team New Carpet!

    Aug 27, 2007 at 11:35 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Allie

    That’s amazing. Thanks go out the the snakes in the grass. I’m definitely posting the “favoritism is thicker than water” slogan on my cubicle soon.

    Brilliant.

    Aug 27, 2007 at 11:55 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Katy

    Jason, may your life be happy and good from here on out. It’s so terrible to see a company and management as stuck-up and stupid as this one seems to be. I applaud the use of “snakes in the grass” as well.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:00 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Gwen

    Oh Jason, you wonderfully worded person, you. I really wish more people had the balls to do something so brilliant and perfect. And I certainly hope that I do when my time comes.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:06 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   mel

    Okay, I may be a little slow on the uptake here… is Jason being sarcastic in para 3 (about the photo department)? I thought he genuinely meant that but as it went on I grew more confused. Hope it was clearer to Laura, Stuart, etc!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   D

      That part seemed genuine to me. I think he was okay with his co-workers but despised management…

      Sep 29, 2008 at 11:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   todd

    makes me want to quit my job so i can one-up this supremely gratifying exit letter. kudos.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:08 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   mw

    The (Rich Text) designation in the title bar has a whole new meaning here, no?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Wry Exchange

    Euphoric poppycock. I have to work that into a conversation somehow. Bravo, Jason!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:13 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Crazyskates

    “Favoritism is thicker than water”
    I can’t WAIT to use that in a conversation tomorrow!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Mela

    Eep. I hope Jason isn’t expecting any references at Christie’s, and his new job offer letter is in hand.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Crazyskates

    Wryexchange, I SWEAR I didn’t see your comment before posting the same thing right under you ….

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Ceryniti

    That’s fucking awesome. Nothing else need be said.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Kristi

    that poppycock was fucking delicious.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:09 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   robin

    boring. please send an additional and just as in your face email regarding your future endevors. we really care. no, really.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   robin

    [sic]

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   luckymommy

    I am speechless and in awe . That had to be on of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I sincerely envy his bravery and candor. I remember leaving a job feeling similarly back in 2004 but I did the obligatory walk-away-smiling-so-as-to-not-burn-any-bridges that most of us do out of fear.
    Jason proved himself to be heroic in my eyes …cheers to him!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:57 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   ian

    I hope this gets picked up and talked about in the mainstream press as well.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Jeff Byrnes

    Awesome. Thumbs up!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Sarah

    Team Wants-Jason-to-come-work-at-my-company-for-a-while-and-then-leave

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:21 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Dave Ward

    Sweet.

    However, we need a photo of the carpeting so we can get completely derailed in a debate about how tasteful/tasteless the carpet is and completely miss the point.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Juno Henry

    Jason — c’mere and have a big old hug. That is the fucking best farewell letter I ever read.

    Kudos and genuflections.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Jamie

    Awwww. Carpet…

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   dirty old lady

    …but how do you *really* feel, Jason? :D

    Aug 28, 2007 at 7:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   M Thatcher

    Unions are bad, so team christie’s

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   J Hoffa

    Margaret Thatchers are bad, so team union and team Jason!!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:42 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   super_fan#99

    Jesus people it wasn’t that great. Sounds like he backed off quite a bit. I want more name calling and personalization.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   ginger

    i likes it. people should say how they feel more often.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Mrs L Carrot

    Jason,

    As somebody who worked for years in the arts, I can appreciate what you have been through. All I can say is this. The bitterness does wear off but it takes some time! The real world, which looks so much harsher, is actually a kinder happier place to work. You will be amazed.

    Take care and good luck with whatever you do.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Jessica

    This is the letter I would love to write when I leave my suck-ass job. Which should be anytime now. Jason, you rock.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   T-Bone

    Hooray for Jason!

    Ironically, I had just sat down at my desk and gone through my office email, prior to getting my daily PAN fix. I had an email from the “finance” folks at my work saying I was not eligible for the paltry cost of living raise they provide annually, nor the “this-year-it’s-your-department’s-turn-for-a-pat-on-the-back” raise, because I started working here last April, rather than in March.

    Then I read Jason’s email and was instantly uplifted! I will use his fine words as my template for the email which I will send to my future former employers when I leave this dump.

    I’m gonna go home and watch “Office Space” tonight and get drunk.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:35 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   The Fresh Cracker

    I’m with Sarah!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Al Hanso

    I was hoping for more fireworks. Hopefully this was a warm-up for when Jason burns bridges at his next workplace.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Mandy

    I picture him sobbing and intermittently stuffing his possessions into a very small box while he’s writing this.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   rupert

    I suspect the carpeting reference was really to point out that they ordered the carpeting after the raises they couldn’t afford didn’t go out.

    I am in the art business and Christie’s took a painting out of the country and then forced us to pay them to return it.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:02 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Ima Wurdibitsch

    That was fantastic. I hope his upper management sees that and realizes what a gem they’ve lost.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   claw71

    This was a weak display and Jason is an idiot. First there’s the confusion as to how he really feels toward the photo department. It’s not good form to mix sincerity with hostility. Unless you’re sincerely hostile and in that event there’s no confusion.

    Then you have that awful metaphor of favoritism being thicker than water. What? That doesn’t even make sense, in fact it’s not even a metaphor because he fails to establish the conection. Blood being thicker than water addresses nepotism.

    Tust me, I’ve burned my share of bridges and this is not even close. This is more like spitting into the wind.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   orinoco womble

      You’re absolutely spot-on. And this email would have far more bite if Jason could actually spell and use some of the more literate phrases correctly. Such as “like unto”, not “liken to.” And “a culture of harassment that has since permeated and fostered”–what? The direct object of this sentence is missing.

      I’ll stake my all that Mr. Jason is a…bachelor. He’s trying to sound superior and just ends up sounding pissy.

      Jul 19, 2008 at 8:58 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   GW

      I was thinking more of “akin to”, myself. I agree, though – this letter didn’t have as much edge as I expected.

      Aug 28, 2008 at 12:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   PatHMV

    I think he really was being nice to the photo department people… which is bad for them. When the office trouble maker leaves, do you really want his parting shot to tar you with being his friend?

    Beyond that, I agree with claw71 (#38), this was lame.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   More Mishee Than Thou

    The carpet was nice. I know you don’t like it, but I do.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Zsa

    Holy finish one thought per sentence, Batman!

    If Jason’s organizational skills were as bad as his writing skills, I’m surprised he lasted long enough to idenify the “snakes in the grass”

    Want to applaud the attempt, but it does kinda suck. Best one I ever saw was at a company who’s employees tended to leave long, mushy, keep-in-touch farewell emails)

    “I’m NOT sending out my personal email for you freaks to contact me. Never call or email me again. Suck this- I’m outta here!”

    Aug 28, 2007 at 11:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Mierin

    Good for him for writing an angry parting letter, but it wasn’t as seething with sarcasm and bitterness as I would have liked. 3 starfish out of 4.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 11:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Near Mishee

    Anyone know where they keep the copy paper at Christie’s? There is nothing in the copy room except for a very moldy sandwich.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 11:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   sadandsorrypeople

    Calw#71 you are my hero, it really wasnt that good. Jason just wants some attention let’s ignore him and see if he throws his baby food at us too !

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Anon 2

    I just really want to see what the carpeting looks like.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   D_luv

    Not impressed. Could and have done better being only slightly miffed. With all the fodder a long stint at a suck ass job gives, I’d slice and dice those muthas like an old-school game of Operation!!!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   lauralaiwc

    i just left a job with similar feelings but i kept it to myself, not necessarily because i didnt want to “burn any bridges” but because i didnt want to stoop to the imaturity displayed here.

    i was bored with this one. i cant beleive im commenting.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   mere

    wow, i hope jason never needs to go back to christie’s for anything. kinda burned THAT bridge.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   winter_coat

    I am in the process of leaving my job right now and this letter warms my cold, embittered, under-employed heart.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Greenie

    My. Hero.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   nyc_lala

    Minutes after this email was sent, JC was escorted out of the building by security.

    Don’t mess with the man!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   tweedle

    “With all the fodder a long stint at a suck ass job gives, I’d slice and dice those muthas like an old-school game of Operation” –D_luv

    That’s pretty.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   carolb

    I wonder if anyone forwarded this to his new employer? That could happen. I just hope he won the lottery…

    Aug 28, 2007 at 12:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Eric S.

    What a pathetic human being.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Jason

    How in the hell did my email end up on this site? Someone at Christie’s just forwarded this to me.

    I just went through two and half years of non stop nonsense. I waited and waited for things to get better, but they didn’t. I left on my terms and I sent this out because I knew I would regret it if I didn’t. For the record, all my bridges were reduced to cinders ages ago…….and yes it is true, the powers that be didn’t find it funny as they sent a security guard to remove me from the building 25 minutes after I sent this out. I guess I am banned from returning – what ever that means.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:38 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Jason

    For the record, I don’t care what anyone has to say about my email.

    I see a mix of good and bad comments and I feel everybody is entitled to their opinion.

    And right now, I’m off to better and brighter things, far away from Christie’s…….

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:49 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Anna-banana

    You go Jason! Good luck to you!!!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   hannah

    I loved your email, Jason. Good luck and don’t look back!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Team Cinnamon

    Brilliant Jason!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   will

    While certainly cathartic for the writer I think that it’s a pussy move to fire a broadside like this on the way out the door. Nice job making everyone else workday more uncomfortable.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Sky

    Team Jason, and team union, all the way.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Nanna

    Team Whatever.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   lauralaiwc

    team no whiney ninny.

    most people DON’T enjoy their jobs, and most of them probably have a right to gripe. we all put up with nonsense, its how we handle it that determines if we are a mature adult and actually deserve better out of life.

    im all for you leaving on your own terms. absolutely. you dont like it, get out of there. but you dont have to wave little flags and spout fireworks over your head, no need to cry out for attention. its not like bitching about it in that way is going to change anything. youve proved nothing positive about yourself, so, kudos.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #63.1   nasoccermom

      right on. drew carey said ‘everyone hates their job, if there was a club for it’d be called a bar.’ I heard a story about a guy that killed himself and he left his wife a note that only said to find someone to mow the lawn. now that’s a pa-note, this is just whiney insane carpet envy.

      Nov 22, 2008 at 9:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.2   Whay

      … That’s why we have anti-capitalism.

      Seriously? Are you really so much of a mean, bitter person that you would be okay with this being the case?

      You’re not being realistic, you’re just being a douche.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.3   GK bang

      Okay!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #64   Where is Mishee?

    She is sitting at Jason’s old desk, enjoying some quality online time.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   claw71

    Jason, sweetie, if you didn’t care what we thought you wouldn’t have bothered posting a response. You’re a chump…in this particular context. That doesn’t mean that you’re beyond redemption and I wouldn’t be above buying you a beer when you come of age in three or four years but until then put on the big boy pants and get over yourself.

    Most people on this board have toiled much longer in jobs that were far less appealing. Welcome to life. It sucks, doesn’t it?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Where is Mishee?

    This carpet smells funny!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   will

    Did you expect that you co-workers would read your email and then lift you on their shoulders and triumphantly carry you out on your last day?

    Be a big boy next time, just say goodbye and walk out with a smile on your face.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   anglophile

    Uh, claw71. Why the personal attacks on one of our content-providers? Via website comments, no less! Jason’s not the only one who needs some big boy pants. If there were no Jasons in this world, there’d be no PAN. And then what would we do?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 2:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   NotMishee

    The carpet was fucking delicious!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   CA Girl

    Wow, I think I am pretty speechless.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   Josh

    “Most people on this board have toiled much longer in jobs that were far less appealing.”

    Bravo for you! I guess that means no one else is entitled to complain about their jobs ever again. Thanks for taking care of that!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Anna-banana

    I know that this site is a place to vent on P-A notes, et all. But besides that, I was secretly getting my evil thrill on the “Mishee vs. Boggy Woggy (and most everyone) feud”. Entertain me, please!!!!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   The "Real" Jason

    Someone at Christie’s just forwarded this to me, and I noticed that someone even posted as me!

    In truth, things weren’t all that bad at Christies, except that coworkers would leave their coffee cups on the break-room counter. I just like to leave my employers with a memorable flair.

    Yes, I was escorted out of the building and asked to never return, but that was because I stole a bunch of art as well.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   More Mishee Than Thou

    So please text me at work!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   GhostWriter

    Oops!

    I screwed it up – somehow I made my whole fake comment (under the psuedonym, The “Real” Jason) a broken hyperlink.

    Boo for my failed plan…

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   claw71

    I love a good passive aggressive note but this fell short. It lacked creativity and direction. Some of the phrases people seemed to like were sophomoric attempts at pseudo intellectualism. I’m shocked that some of the luminaries on this site lauded Jason for such an indulgent waste of energy. I’ve seen much better. Pardon me for demanding more.

    The reason I’m “attacking” the author of the note is because of his comments on this board. There’s nothing wrong with complaining about one’s job, just stop with the whining. If you want to bitch, throw it down with some authorityand spare me the nonsense about not seeking validation. Your presence belies your intent.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   Mishee

    Jason, I totally feel your pain about being “perceived as a troublemaker” – I do like this note though. Reminds me of a few I have written in the past…

    If only I still had them!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   CA Girl

    “Contaminated corporate splendor” – that’s gotta be my favorite; along with “thinking outside the box is liken to heresy” – very good wording Jason! Keep up the good work!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Anon 2

    Jason,

    Can you please describe the new carpeting that Christie’s installed on the 5th & 6th floors? PEOPLE, PLEASE DO NOT FORGET ABOUT THE CARPETING!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   lauralaiwc

    #79, thank you!!! i get fed up with people who use cliche phrases -or even add their own “twist” to them – with the itnention of SOUNDING intelectual or proving to the world that one is intelligent.

    if you have to make such great effort, then you probably just arent.

    i feel the same way about those stupid tshirts with phrases like “hottie” or “princess”. if you have to label yourself, you probably arent!!!

    anyways. this one has irritated me, and the comments about not caring about what everyone says do, too…if you dont care, stop responding, stop defending yourself and your childish actions. it makes you a walking oxymoron.

    my tshirt for the day says “bitch” :)

    Aug 28, 2007 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   claw71

    I wondered about the carpeting as well. It strikes me as a catty aside one would expect from a flamboyantly gay coworker who exploits the stereotype to hurl unexpected bars at people.

    As for being “perceived as a trouble maker”, peception is reality. Especially if everybody shares the same perception.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   claw71

    BARBS…I meant unexpected barbs.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   anon

    I’m just curious, wtf does an art handler need internet access for? There are positions that do not require internet access, like McDonald’s employees, my cleaning lady, dirty beggars, people who fix vacuumes for a living and those whose only job is, is to physically move shit.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   GhostWriter

    At the end of the day, Jason wins the battle between those who write the note and those who snipe the note.

    Sorry, snipers- but it’s not cooler to say, “not cool enough for me!” He went and did it, and left you with the sour grapes, thinking, “I coulda done it better…”

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:41 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #84.1   Jahzzie

      Have to agree with GW. The Team Anti-Jasons are just mad they didn’t do it themselves. Make your bashing more believable and out-do him, with more effect.

      Jun 8, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.2   coxy

      yep, agreed. who cares if there are a few mixed metaphors, and who cares if he is whinging? its damn entertaining!

      Aug 7, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #85   PS

    Why is nobody mocking the grammatical errors in this note?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   CA Girl

    PS – I think we usually wait for the 11th hour, after we have picked apart all of the rest of the note before we go to town with the grammar; unless it’s a BLARING grammatical problem, then it comes right out from the beginning!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 4:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   anglophile

    He’s not required to write well. He’s in the Art World.

    Plus, run on sentences are always artistic. “Well, you won’t be able to include this e-mail in that group” is the only non-run on sentence in the whole thing. That, my friends is Art.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 5:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   anglophile

    I’m not required to write well either. I’m a baker.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   CA Girl

    I guess I don’t have to write well either then, I am a candlestick maker…

    A butcher out there anyone? :)

    Aug 28, 2007 at 5:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   joobs

    claw71–Thanks for fixing “bars” to “barbs.” I know gays who like to hurl themselves into bars, or even hurl in bars, but I was finding it difficult to picture them hurling bars unexpectedly. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;)

    Too bad he didn’t wait a little while longer to quit. Then he wouldn’t have been so dismayed by missing that new carpet.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   Mi

    joobs – is there any reason why when I see your name I think of boobs?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Andy

    All I have to say is:

    What in the HELL is going on with this fucking NEVERENDING HYPERLINK?!?!?!?!??!?SHITSHITSHITSHIT.

    That foam that just formed in the corners of my mouth from that rant was fucking delicious.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   joobs

    I don’t know, Mi. Is there?

    :D

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   slapandtickle

    you are an artist and you couldn’t hack it at christie’s? weren’t you around art all day in there? did you actually look at any or were you busy fabreezing the 5th floor carpet?

    what are you gonna do now? work on your grammer? let me guess that’s not your fault either right? its Yale’s fault ?

    I hope you and the idiot that posted this realize that if you dish it out you better be able to take it right back.

    You should have been fired and you should be neutered.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #94.1   beth

      Wow. Bitter much? Have you perhaps had fellow staff members or employees depart on a similar note?

      Mar 31, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #95   Mishee

    joobs, not finishing my name kinda messed up the significance of that last post. But there probably is many reasons why I think that!! :)

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   Zsa

    #84- Claw 71__hurling unexpected bars at people. LOVE it! I’m going to figure out a way to add that into a conversation tomorrow.

    On Saturday, after I leave my contaminated corporate splendor, I am going to hurl some unexpected bars at my friends. They come to expect me to hurl insults, but they will never see the bars coming. Bwah-ha-ha-ha!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   mibbles

    The email is not perfect but I think is it both clever and shocking. If it wasn’t then no one would have bothered responding. My gripe is this, how could this guy possibly have known that it was going to get posted for all to see and end up critiqued endlessly? Many of you are not being reasonable. Leave it alone, it is what it is.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:48 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   artisfart

    have you seen gawker?

    they have a photo of jason at work, but not at christie’s :)

    http://www.teamsterslocal814.com/

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   Anna-banana

    Is it “bars” or barbs”? Please someone educate me!!!!

    Love you, ZSA!

    Glad you’re back, Mishee. (And I’m not taking sides in the feud, btw.)

    And I think Mi’s a guy!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Mishee

    Mi was my name, incomplete… so Mi is a gal! (but still have a crush on joobs)

    Aug 28, 2007 at 6:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Mrs. Bender

    I am just wondering why Art Handlers need a Union?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #101.1   beth

      Um, maybe because the management was abusive? I mean, basing it on the letter, I’m just guessing…

      Mar 31, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #102   Jacques

    I support him wholeheartedly!
    End the tyranny!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 7:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   joobs

    Well well, Mi. I wondered if that was you! What’s up, girlfriend? I noticed you were being good.

    As for Jason, I hope you found some meaningful work. Maybe in musical theater.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    (Sorry, y’all. That Seinfeld episode was on here in Hell last night. )

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   mzc

    He thanked that many people, and he didn’t thank Terry?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   Oedipa Maas

    Does this fix it?

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Oedipa Maas

    Rats.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   Oedipa Maas

    sweep, sweep

    Aug 28, 2007 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   BoggyWoggy

    Big thanks to Terry for the carpet.
    However, if anyone mentions his name again, they need to know that I will hunt them down, put them in a cage, and make them sit through a bullshit staff meeting at this office, where favorites are played and trouble-makers are put aside.
    GRRRR….to troublemakers. They just mess everything up and make people think!

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Dr. Ding

    Poor Jason. If only he had contacted me, the illustrious and completely straight-shooting Dr. Ding…..

    Aug 28, 2007 at 9:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   claw71

    You know, when you hurl them at people bars are always unexpected and certainly not passive aggressive.

    Jason should have expected the ridicule. People are vindictive and when you take such a petty parting shot the retaliation is inevitable.

    Being in the art business Jason should have employed the use of pictures to convey his message. One is worth a thousand words you know. Of course in Jason’s case we’re dealing with a vocational school English composition background so the pictures would be drawn in crayon.

    Aug 28, 2007 at 10:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   Nanna

    A picture of him shooting the finger, maybe? Eloquent and simple. I like it.

    Aug 29, 2007 at 2:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   S

    Team Jason! Oh, how I’ve dreamt of writing similar letters and never had the balls to do it–too petrified to burn a career bridge.

    My resignation for my last, equally painful job hangs proudly on my fridge however.

    Aug 29, 2007 at 3:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   Marissa

    I think people are being way too harsh over this. If Jason wants to fight The Man (or in this case just punch The Man very lightly on the arm), he is more than entitled to.

    As for the argument that other people’s jobs are worse and therefore he can’t complain, that is complete garbage. If you really think that, NONE of you have the right to complain about a single thing at work. There’s some starving South American child out there who spends 14 hours a day stitching sneakers for five cents an hour and I’m willing to bet that his job is a hell of a lot worse than yours.

    Aug 29, 2007 at 9:02 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Anna-banana

    OH, bite me, Marissa!

    I hope that you are joking!

    And now someone’s going to start ranting about the starving people in China, too!

    Aug 29, 2007 at 11:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Mr. Richard Head

    Sounds like you people need to get back to work !!! Slackers !!!!

    Aug 30, 2007 at 12:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   Leopold Red

     
  • #117   claw71

    Marissa, the whole point is that he didn’t complain; he whined. Jason went out like a punk. The note was weak.

    People have a right to complain and should because its cathartic but Jason’s note is a gutless parting shot.

    I hope Jason’s new employer reads this and starts a company collection to buy Jason a nice new set of balls.

    Aug 30, 2007 at 10:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #117.1   Whay

      No, it wasn’t.

      It’s not “gutless” to fire back at someone who’s had the power to keep you silenced once they can’t do anything about it.

      Jason had more guts than you; he said the truth, got pissed when he was muffled, and then shouted it in a way that they couldn’t stop. I empathize far more with Jason because I see him as coming from a place of frustrated passion and wanting to change it – rather than being perfectly fine with the status quo.

      Stop being such a self-righteous deek; your capitalism’s showing.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #117.2   GK bang

      Does replying to a comment two years late in the hope that nobody’ll call you out count as “gutless”, I wonder?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #118   Anna-banana

    Claw71- I have noticed quite a bit of hostility in many of your posts. Have you considered therapy to rid yourself of your latent anger issues?

    Kiss!

    And, I’ll buy you lunch!

    Aug 30, 2007 at 10:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   claw71

    Anna:

    Are you trying to seduce me?

    Aug 30, 2007 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   Anna-banana

    Is that an offer?

    Maybe after you go have some intensive therapy sessions & lap-band surgery. I don’t think that I could afford your large appetite.

    Unless…it carries over to more than food?

    J/K

    Aug 30, 2007 at 1:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   Dramatic Groundhog

    Curses!

    Aug 30, 2007 at 2:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   D-Pilot

    Way to stick it to ‘em!

    Aug 30, 2007 at 2:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   Bebo

    I’m kind of surprised this has been viewed so favorably. The wording is either typical and overused (bla bla bla the evil corporate world has ruined my soul) or it just flat out doesn’t make sense. Besides, if you’re going to punk out and send an email on the way out the door it has to be REALLY good. Like, “FYI, the intern got crabs from the boss” good.

    Aug 30, 2007 at 3:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   claw71

    Thanks Leopold Red.

    The blurb on Jason explains a lot as to why he flailed away at his former employer. He’s a frustrated artist. Now he has no credibility.

    Aug 30, 2007 at 4:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   Marissa

    I don’t *personally* think that nobody has the right to complain, but I was stating that using the “OMG MY JOB IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN URS STFU” argument is retarded. It works under the juvenile logic that only those who are the worst off can complain, and somebody who has a grumpy boss and no cig break isn’t the worst off.

    Aug 30, 2007 at 4:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   claw71

    I think that argument only surfaces when the person doing the whining is a twerp. Everybody has the right to complain but when you do be ready for somebody to provide a reality check. In this context Jason is a shrill little pansy and people patting him on the back aren’t helping him .

    Aug 30, 2007 at 9:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   Juddlinski

    This mail wasn’t all that. A bit lame. Despite trying to sound brave and confrontational he cops out by not naming names, and the actual examples he uses sound pretty irrelevant.
    Basically, I bet he’s a whining dick.

    Aug 31, 2007 at 6:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   Juddlinski

    PS I especially loathe the way he starts by saying how everyone else just babbles in the THEIR farewell emails.

    We gett the message Jason – YOU’RE better than everyone else… the opening paragraph sums him up pretty well – an attention-seeking whinger with a superiority complex.

    And a small penis.

    Aug 31, 2007 at 6:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   Juddlinski

    PPS Oh, and in the second paragraph, every single one of his commas seem to be in the wrong place. Jesus, I hate that.

    I’ll stop now.

    Aug 31, 2007 at 6:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   claw71

    Nevertheless Jason thinks he was the best thing to happen to Christie’s and firmly believes they will fall apart now that he’s gone. But their loss is Burger King’s gain. What Jason doesn’t realize is that when Burger King says you can have it your way, they aren’t referring to the staff.

    Aug 31, 2007 at 6:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   claw71

    Man, I normally don’t take delight in kicking the hell out of people but Jason is like a pinata full of sweet candy goodness. It really does make me feel good to make him feel bad.

    Aug 31, 2007 at 6:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   claw71

    Fuck him and the Art Handlers’ union….that’s got to be a scary lot. What will they do to replacement workers, style them? Critique their shoes?

    Aug 31, 2007 at 6:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   Ginevra

    I’m glad he’s at least having fun with it. How long do you think he’s been editing this in his head?

    (This one gave me a little shock before I read the whole email – my boyfriend Jason just quit a Christie’s, and I’m sure his letter of resignation looked something like this.)

    Aug 31, 2007 at 4:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   PEOPLE ! GET A LIFE !!

    O M F G !! YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP ON YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEXES ! JASON IS A PUSSY ! IF YOU CAN’T SAY ALL THAT TO YOUR BOSS IN PERSON WHEN YOU LEAVE, YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER LITTLE DICK FUCKS THAT CAN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING TO YOUR FACE. PUSSIES !!!

    Sep 4, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #134.1   please

      Oh Dood,

      Relax. Take a deep breath and settle down.

      Sometimes there’s tons to be said and a letter is the most fitting way to do it.

      It still holds courage and actually hits harder than a behind the doors discussion.

      I’m looking for the letter my coworker sent my boss. It was sweet and he did tell my boss to go to FUCKING hell. But I think the letter was better absorbed. The future board members will be able to get a grasp for the kind of management that we had.

      Again, settle down. You’ll enjoy this site more that way.

      - JPS

      Jul 11, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #135   normal

    Eh, this is a so-so Bitter Quitting Email. The email that circulates from a supposed Morgan Stanley ex-employee is better.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Mishee

    well normal, where is this Morgan Stanley letter then? Let us rip it apart and end up talking about something totally different – like panties and speed sign regulations…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   claw71

    It’s a pretty common letter, Mishee. It’s actually posted on Snopes.com. I would rather they not publish it here because it’s a dead horse. MMMM.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   Mishee

    are you “MMMM”ing at the thought of a dead horse? You and your meat! (wait, that doesn’t sound too good the way it came out… but oh well, the joke stands)

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   SoJewtastic

    Awww Jason is a cutie!! Let’s go out, shall we?

    Oct 11, 2007 at 5:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   Faux Gentleman

    eh, that was teethless

    Jun 10, 2008 at 5:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   Tom

    Er, I thought the whole point of this site was to amuse people. So what’s the point of printing Jason’s email? It was just rubbish.

    Jun 16, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #141.1   Mishee bang

      I think it’s actually “euphoric poppycock”

      Jun 16, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #142   Paul Knegten

    This farewell email from Chris Kula c2005 is awesome too:

    http://chriskula.com/2005/08/22/the-farewell-email/

    Aug 7, 2008 at 3:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   chickenspittle

    Hey, what’s with the homophobic comments from the bitter whiner bore71?

    At least Jason did what most people want to but chicken out of doing. So whatever the actual content, I think we could all use a little inspiration from someone who did actually stand up and critique their former workplace. There is such a culture of bullshit in workplaces where no one actually mentions what’s wrong, out of fear, and justifies it by saying that it would be immature to complain about harassment, bad or unsafe work practices, emotional abuse, getting ripped off salary-wise, etc etc.

    Sep 8, 2008 at 12:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   chris

    i am inspired and amazed.. that is the way to do it hah that was awesome

    Sep 14, 2008 at 12:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   Neilio

    i wonder what the carpets looked like…

    Mar 19, 2009 at 8:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #146   scott

    This guy is a union shop steward. He is, by definition, a disgruntled employee. That’s his job. The credibility of everything he said is ZERO.

    Nov 23, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   pony girl

    Nothing beats walking out the door with nary a goodbye, and then, never looking back.

    So satisfying.
    Nine months later, and I still get a smile on my face.

    Dec 6, 2009 at 3:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #148   blondie79

    Now THAT’S an exit letter . LOL

    kudos to you Jason!

    Mar 9, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     

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