Meric spotted this sign in melbourne while going to the launderette a few doors down. The bizarre thing, says Meric, is that it’s in a shop window. “I have no idea what kind of dastardly person would steal poor Dave’s bananas, but every time I walked past it I laughed so much a little bit of wet came out.”
Meric adds, “I left Australia in August, so I’m not sure if it’s still there. But these pictures were taken in June on Nicholson Street, Carlton North, Melbourne if anyone from around there would like to check up and see.” P-A detective squad, Melbourne bureau: consider yourselves on the case.
Meanwhile, Sarah in Alexandria says she faced a similar disappearing Coke problem at her office. “At first I tried keeping them all in the box with a large note on the outside opening with my name on it. Apparently that wasn’t enough because cans were still ending up missing, so I added to the note ‘please do not drink’ because maybe someone thought I was leaving my name there so that they would know who to thank (or not to thank, rather) for the free Cokes. Cans were still being taken though, so I decided to resort to the only tactic I have ever known to work on assholes who have no regard whatsoever for others: I threatened their own well-being.”
Adds Sarah, “I actually did lick the cans too, and I was genuinely sick. After that note, I was able to enjoy my Cokes without having to worry. The only person who this tactic has yet to work on is my dad.”
98 responses so far ↓
#1
agirlie
How do you drink bananas?
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:40 am rating: 16
#2
The Other Commenter
While you’re there, pick up that Petula Clark record for me.
Also, consider this sentence a half-hearted extension of the “fucking delicious” meme.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:08 am rating: 2
#3
jen
I noticed the Petula Clark album cover too, being the Petula Clark fan I am.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:22 am rating: 1
#4
Sweet Jane
T.
M.
I.
Team Kegel.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:48 am rating: 0
#5
Verda
Yeah, eff the ‘nanas and coke, I want that Petula Clark album cover to nail on the wall.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:54 am rating: 0
#6
Gwen
Girly, you stole the words right out of my mouth.
Aug 30, 2007 at 4:51 am rating: 0
#7
Andy
Do you think that maybe they were selling this sign as a prime example of what we term p/a art?
Maybe Petula Clark drank the coke and bananas. She drank them downtown.
Aug 30, 2007 at 6:26 am rating: 2
#8
Peter Pan
That coke was fucking delicious…but I can’t believe someone took the bananas which is stooping pretty low. Daves loves them!
Aug 30, 2007 at 6:40 am rating: 0
#9
Anna-banana
I think that the sign maker ate Dave’s bananas because DAVE drank all of his coke. They’re just making a public point of it.
Great of ‘em to share!
And I’m all down for media diversity. I dig choice.
Aug 30, 2007 at 7:41 am rating: 0
#10
claw71
It’s not passive aggressive at all but does the author of this crude sign really think somebody is going to walk in the shitty shop and confess?
This sign is begging for a ‘Thank you Terry” which is going to be come this generation’s “Kilroy was here”.
Aug 30, 2007 at 8:20 am rating: 1
#11
claw71
Here’s P/A:
Why did you drink my coke? When I got up this morning it was the only thing I had to look forward to and it was gone, nothing left but an empty bottle. That was bad enough but then you drank Dave’s bananas, not even bothering to rinse the blender afterward. You’re killing Dave by stealing his potassium.
Thank you Terry
Aug 30, 2007 at 8:21 am rating: 5
#12
super_fan#99
Screw Petula Clark, that looks like a sweet Kylie Minogue album to the left off the picture.
She’s hot.
Aug 30, 2007 at 8:24 am rating: 0
#13
anglophile
Uh, just in case you care not to know, that was my coke and you’re starving Dave and his unborn child!!!!
Aug 30, 2007 at 8:51 am rating: 0
#14
Al Hanso
I’m with Team Fuck on this one.
Aug 30, 2007 at 8:53 am rating: 1
#15
Lorina
I have a feeling that somewhere in the outback, Crocodile Dundee is lazing under a tree, drinking Coke, feeding bananas to his pet koala, and wailing on his didgeridoo.
Aug 30, 2007 at 8:57 am rating: 1
#16
mere
i’m impressed.. petula clark, looks like a vogue, but then when someone said kylie minogue, i thought ‘ahhh, now THAT makes more sense’
but the ‘fewer voices, fewer choices’ media diversity thing… do they WANT fewer voices, or is that more of a statement of anger, they’re pissed about the few voices/choices? cuz the bumper sticker is really more p.a. than the coke/bananas sign.
Aug 30, 2007 at 9:15 am rating: 0
#17
Anna-banana
Duh!—mere #16. Diversity connotes more choices. HELLO!!!!! This is a pro-choice sign for diversity, therefore more choices!!!! Pretty obvious, dude.
Aug 30, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 0
#18
ghostyhead
super_fan#99, that’s not a Kylie album, it’s the 12″ for Madonna’s “Vogue.”
Team Petula!
Aug 30, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 0
#19
claw71
The Dingo drank your coke.
Aug 30, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 4
#20
Zsa
#11- claw71~ LOVE it! that almost made me spit coffee at my monitor. Better get to work before the web site Nazi’s catch me posting.
THANK YOU TERRY!!!
Aug 30, 2007 at 10:20 am rating: 0
#21
Zsa
Claw you are on a ROLL today~
Aug 30, 2007 at 10:21 am rating: 1
#22
bex
ack I was staying in Carlton last week, if this had have been posted earlier I would have totally gone and checked it out!
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: 0
#23
damon
I don’t even know who Petula Clark is, much less that she has so many hits that she warrants multiple volumes of greatest hits. I feel left out….
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:15 am rating: 0
#24
CA Girl
Maybe Carrie Lee stole the bananas and coke?
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#25
Sair
Team I’m-standing-up-for-media-diversity.
…
Can I sit down yet? It’s just it’s really difficult to type standing up…
Thank you Dave.
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: 0
#26
sheila
This website seems to bring comments/posts from all over the world. I was just curious & want to do a quick poll . . . where is everyone from?
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: 0
#27
CA Girl
San Francisco Bay Area! (South Bay, recognize!)
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:50 am rating: 0
#28
claw71
damon:
Petula Clark is why I never listen to oldies stations. For some reason people feel inclided to play “Downtown” every45 minutes and her shrill vocals make me embarassed to be white.
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 0
#29
claw71
damon:
Petula Clark is why I never listen to oldies stations. For some reason people feel inclined to play “Downtown” every45 minutes and her shrill vocals make me embarassed to be white.
Aug 30, 2007 at 11:58 am rating: 0
#30
Anony-Scrooge (no, really)
Petula Clark is the LEAST reason you should be embarassed you’re white.
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: 0
#31
Jordan
Baltimore, MD …
so duck motherfucker
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: 0
#32
Fulano
I believe “Who the Fuck Drank All My Coke/And Daves Bananas?” is a rare Frank Zappa bootleg.
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:11 pm rating: 3
#33
amy
Kansas City, MO
Go Chiefs!
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
#34
Anna-banana
Sacramento, CA area. Davis, CA specifically.
Go Aggies!!!
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#35
Zsa
OMG re: Sara’s addition- I have 4 brothers and sisters and did this when I was 12. GET A LIFE. Do you really think this will stop the coke thief? I’d just be giggling as I rub Purell on the top.
That coke was fing DELICIOUS
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#36
Zsa
I’m from Hell… oh, sorry… Oregon. GPS location upon request. Sorry Joobs, I’m SURE hell is Oregon, not Utah.
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: 0
#37
CA Girl
Zsa I’m with you there too – I’m pretty sure OR is Hell also. If not, it’s definitely Southern Washington State.
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#38
mere
a) i was being sarcastic with the ‘fewer voices/choices’ comment. apparently, it didn’t translate.
2) way to lick the cans.
x) colo
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:44 pm rating: 0
#39
claw71
You know not of hell on Earth until you’ve been to northern Arkansas where the counties are dry. I don’t mean arid. Mind you this is northern Arkansas where you NEED alcohol to numb the pain of being in northern Arkansas.
Aug 30, 2007 at 12:55 pm rating: 2
#40
CA Girl
claw, is your last name Duke?
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:01 pm rating: 0
#41
claw71
That’s a loaded question, dear. To which Dukes would you be referring?
For the record, no. It’s Tyson as in chicken, or Mike, or Richard. I can’t remember. It’s late and everybody ate their lunches on time today. I just might waste away. So hungry.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:14 pm rating: 0
#42
Mishee
WOW, I did NOT think I would just spend the last 5-7 minutes of my life reading about sneezes, farts, burps, and coughing… very interesting claw71…
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#43
Nanna
Salem Oregon. Nobody drank the Coke and bananas. I put them in the copy room.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#44
CA Girl
Is that where the coke and bananas go? In the copy room? Can you repeat that like, 3 or 4 more times for me to make sure I get it?
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#45
Nanna
Yes, CA girl. In case you don’t know or care not to know, the bananas and coke go in the copy room.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#46
ijRoberts
Lot’s of Oregonians here. I, however, don’t think that Oregon is Hell. There are a lot of worse places that I could. Pick any state in the South, for example!
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:47 pm rating: 0
#47
bobwong
San Francisco Bay Area — North Bay!
I’m in the wine country. (hic)
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:48 pm rating: 0
#48
claw71
Mishee:
I ponder the more important things in life so you don’t have too. Thanks for taking a peak.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:49 pm rating: 0
#49
Kai
Dear Coke-banana fiend-
Thank you for taking Dave’s bananas. I’m allergic, so the sight of them makes me twitchy. I hope you enjoyed my Coke. I was going to use it to get rid of some bloodstains, but now I guess I’m just going to have to get arrested.
Shalom,
Kai
Dear Sarah,
I know you can do better. Spit doesn’t bother me much. I’d suggest starting with “This can has been in my pants” and get nastier from there.
P.S. I’d advise you to avoid Washington Mutual. Even their post-its reek of evil.
Best of luck,
Kai
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:52 pm rating: 1
#50
CA Girl
ijRoberts – there’s lots of Oregonians because there’s not much else to do there but surf the net when it’s raining all the damn time! I started quilting while I lived up there.
Aug 30, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#51
Nanna
Actually I am here becase I just moved up here and don’t have a job yet.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:05 pm rating: 0
#52
Nanna
It has rained only 3 times in the past month.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:06 pm rating: 0
#53
hannah
Aw, I like Oregon. But I live in Georgia, so I guess just visiting the state is different.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:07 pm rating: 0
#54
CA Girl
Nanna, I moved back in April and it hasn’t rained once since I got home. I love being somewhere where there are only two seasons… Summer and Summer Lite!
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:11 pm rating: 0
#55
super_fan#99
Ahh..Madonna, well, she was hot too.
I drank the coke and shoved the banannas up my ass.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:13 pm rating: 0
#56
otter
I grew up in dry northeast arkansas. gotta love certain denominations keeping the killer etoh out of the county, only to see those same churchgoers in the stores just over the county line. Go Jonesboro!
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:13 pm rating: 0
#57
Nanna
CA Girl – I spent my whole life in a desert. No rain. The week before I left, there had been somewhere around 40 days of 100+ degree heat. It was at that time 112 degrees. I hated it. To me, Oregon is beautiful.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:16 pm rating: 0
#58
CA Girl
Point taken Nanna – enjoy the lush greenery and the unique personalities that make up Oregon State!!
And the rain… oh god, the Rain!
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:19 pm rating: 0
#59
claw71
I like Oregon’s liberal medical marijuana regulations…
“Doc, I’ve been breaking in these new shoes and my feet hurt a little, can you help a brother out?”
Also, the ladies from Oregon really know how to show a feller a nice time. Just ask MBG.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
#60
Mishee
The fact that everyone there smokes or is at least okay with smoker is the only thing that got me through my time spent in Portland! Let me tell you though – the bumper stickers that say “Keep Portland Weird” are not lying!!
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
#61
Nanna
I like weird. Weird is just fine with me. I fit in.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
#62
cre8tivewmn
Years ago I had a co-worker who sent almost daily emails to the department complaining about somebody stealing his soda. When I drew his name in the Christmas gift exchange, I made up a “Soda Security System” and gave it to him along with a 6-pack of his preferred soda. We all had a good laugh and the emails stopped.
Thanks for the memories,
From SC.
Aug 30, 2007 at 2:38 pm rating: 0
#63
Naomi
My mom’s coworker was tired of people drinking her Sprite, so she eventually put a note on it that said “IF YOU DRINK ANY MORE OF MY SPRITE, I WILL SPIT ON YOUR KEYBOARD.”
It kinda reminds me of the “Big Bite” note, since she was pregnant at the time.
Aug 30, 2007 at 3:14 pm rating: 0
#64
CA Girl
Licking the top of a soda can? Good idea, just make sure that you washed it first, some of those soda cans are just NASTY looking; with dirt and god knows what on them… yuck!
Aug 30, 2007 at 3:21 pm rating: 0
#65
Mrs. Bender
At least the note doesn’t say “Who the fuck snorted all my coke?”
Aug 30, 2007 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
#66
claw71
No Mrs. Bender, the angry note would make more sense if it pertained to illicit nose candy.
Aug 30, 2007 at 4:03 pm rating: 0
#67
Marissa
The Coke thing was brilliant. I’m sure that given the nature of bananas, Dave will be able to come up with a truly brilliant off-putting message.
Aug 30, 2007 at 4:51 pm rating: 0
#68
Mishee
I just totally had to share this picture of something I got today at my lunch break –
http://www.flickr.com/photos/32944519@N00/1278938131/
Aug 30, 2007 at 5:39 pm rating: 0
#69
Zsa
only Today? Poor Mishee. Well, there is always tomorrow =)
Aug 30, 2007 at 6:13 pm rating: 0
#70
Mishee, Actually
To whom it may concern:
I am currently seeking the identity of the person or persons who may have inadvertently misappropriated my can of Pepsi and a package of dried figs. Does anyone know anything about this? If so, please be so kind as to text me at work. I will be waiting politely, expectantly, thirstily, and hungrily.
Many thanks,
M.A.
Aug 30, 2007 at 6:56 pm rating: 0
#71
Mishee
don’t forget that you will also be waiting “prayerfully”
Aug 30, 2007 at 7:05 pm rating: 0
#72
super_fan#99
I got the coolest fortune the other night. It said “The fortune you seek is in another cookie.”
That’s the kind of shit that will make you stay up all night, ya know?
Aug 30, 2007 at 7:57 pm rating: 0
#73
ALA
“Keep Portland Weird” is a rip-off — the phrase originated in Austin, TX! How dare Portland try to steal it. I used to like Portland, but now I have concerns.
And ij, many of us are like the South! We’re not the only ones with isues. I saw plenty of WT (white trash) rednecks in the hinterlands of Oregon & Washington. People who live in glass houses, my friend…
Aug 31, 2007 at 8:21 am rating: 0
#74
ALA
“Keep Portland Weird” is a rip-off — the phrase originated in Austin, TX! How dare Portland try to steal it. I used to like Portland, but now I have concerns.
And ij, many of us like the South! We’re not the only ones with isues. I saw plenty of WT (white trash) rednecks in the hinterlands of Oregon & Washington. People who live in glass houses, my friend…
Aug 31, 2007 at 8:21 am rating: 0
#75
Cyn
Hey yall! I am a Southern girl, I live in Texas, and the South isn’t someplace yall need to be slammin’!! I have lived in ‘yankee’ states and I don’t like it! As to the cokes and bananas.. I put them in my blender, along with rum. They were great (eewww, its too early in the A.M. to even visualize that!) Thanks Terry!
Aug 31, 2007 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#76
Sazbot
Your Dad gave you life! You can’t let the man have a free Coke once in a while? Jeez! Kids today.
Aug 31, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#77
claw71
That’s OK, Cyn, I live in a “yankee” state and we don’t much like southerners living here. Sure, southern girls are easy but they just lay there sucking on Skoal bandits the whole time. I’m glad you enjoy Texas but if that was the last place to live on earth I think I would grow gills.
Aug 31, 2007 at 11:40 am rating: 1
#78
lauralaiwc
love the fewer voices/choices thing. maybe if they had more choices lying around all the bananas would still be around.
no one said i had to make sense mkay?
Aug 31, 2007 at 5:07 pm rating: 0
#79
Anna-banana
Hmmm…that’s good. ‘Cause you don’t #80!!!
Started drinking over the 3-day weekend already, have you?
Aug 31, 2007 at 5:26 pm rating: 0
#80
BoggyWoggy
I think the Coke was just the tip of the iceberg for this person. I bet there are more signs all over inside…like, “Who looks at me when I’m working?” or, “WTF! Who snorted my Coke!?”
Aug 31, 2007 at 9:39 pm rating: 0
#81
BoggyWoggy
I am the queen of Oregon. I created this state and I’m keeping it running as I write. Mishee mentioned that she lived here at one time. Yes, that is true. As queen, however, I had her removed in a very Passive-Aggressive Manner. I sent her a note that said, “If you move away from Oregon, you can write personal messages back and forth on a website that is not designed for that. You can hit on people you do not know. You can actually believe that people care about you.” Well, Mishee packed her bags and flew out that night. Oregon has never been better.
Go, Beavs!
Aug 31, 2007 at 9:44 pm rating: 0
#82
BoggyWoggy
Oh, and I think Mishee should be in charge of licking cans. Here in Oregon, we have a bottle bill that also covers cans. You pay a 5-cent deposit on each purchase and get te 5 cents back when you return the can.
I’d like Mishee to lick the cans clean before I return them. They’ll be all shiny and new looking…and her mouth will be busy.
Sep 1, 2007 at 2:02 am rating: 0
#83
Nanna
I agree, Boggy Woggy. She can lick all my cans, too. We live near each other (well not too far away), so it won’t be too much of a hardship for her, right?
PS – Please don’t kick me out. I just got here!
Sep 1, 2007 at 6:34 pm rating: 0
#84
Nanna
I promise I will keep my love of the AZ wildcats under wraps! I will learn to like Beaver Orange!
Sep 1, 2007 at 6:35 pm rating: 0
#85
Patience
I live in Carlton. I’ll go check it out when I get a free day soon. I know exactly where this shop is, and must have not noticed the sign?
Sep 3, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 0
#86
capt larry
If you buy your beer warm you can keep it wherever you want and get it cold under your own supervision and enjoy at your lesure. i would also recomend rubbing cans around the mouth hole with something nontoxic but nasty so at least they get the hint. If all else fails have some large angry friends come over while they are drinking your beer or past out from drinking your beer and insist that they repay you somehow for the injustice they have commited. This is alcohol abuse at its worst. beer is only as good as the people you choose to drink it with.
Sep 4, 2007 at 11:53 pm rating: 0
#87
brie
Weirdly it’s in my neighborhood as well – hi patience. I’ll check it out this weekend.
Sep 6, 2007 at 5:06 am rating: 0
#88
anonymous
Try putting a few drops of some hideously hot sauce on it. Brands like “Ass on Fire” come to mind. Just remember to run it under some water before YOU drink it.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:25 pm rating: 0
#89
Shane
It’s a sign of the times,
When your coke is drank
And your ‘nanas gone,
Oh, Petula.
Sep 14, 2007 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
#90
Misheeâ„¢
wow, I don’t even like college football, but since Boggy goes for the Beavers, I think I will have to pledge my allegiance to the Ducks. I would love for the Duck to go and kick the shit outta the Beaver mascot… if he can take a Cougar on, I’m sure that he can kick the crap out of a beaver.. Go Ducks!
Sep 14, 2007 at 5:07 pm rating: 0
#91
Anna-banana
Claw likes beavers, too!
Sep 14, 2007 at 5:10 pm rating: 0
#92 bleak house | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] um, rene hall? Person alex says, Right click for SmartMenu shortcuts digg_skin = ‘compact’; [...]
Jul 31, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 0
#93
GW
Sarah, I did a similar thing at one place I worked. We had several large glass-doored refrigerators for employees to put their lunches in. Lunches were ending up missing (there were some 600 people there at peak season, so it wasn’t hard to blend in, I am sure).
Anyway, I wrote on my lunch bag, “Contents include leftover Chinese take-out. I have a nasty cold. Take your chances.”
No one bothered it.
Aug 28, 2008 at 1:37 am rating: 0
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