Entries from September 2007

dr. freud’s salon scatologica

September 30th, 2007 · 95 Comments

presenting, for your analysis, this anonymous contribution from a hair salon in bettendorf, iowa (pop. 32,394). for the scatologically inclined vandal — and for putz’s owner — the unconscious issues at play appear to be anything but borderline. college psych majors: care to address which stage of psychosexual development is associated with passive-aggressiveness?

related: i can’t […]

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Tags: dogs · freudian shit · iowa · office · rebuttals · shit

no sarcasm left behind

September 27th, 2007 · 188 Comments

our anonymous contributor works part-time (through a non-profit) at a large, “troubled” high school in milwaukee. today, while making some copies, she found this anonymous wonder.

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Tags: milwaukee · office · raging against the machine · sarcasm

but He took the wheel

September 27th, 2007 · 104 Comments

summer from decatur, georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in galveston, texas.

stealing hot pockets is apparently not the only thing that jesus wouldn’t do.

related: there you go, bringing Him into it again

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Tags: cincinatti · jesus · parking · texas · the lawn

just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

September 26th, 2007 · 91 Comments

a staff-all email from an anonymous submitter in seattle…

what’s muscle milk, you ask? well, say its makers, “muscle milk is arguably america’s favorite protein.” apparently because unlike, say, chicken, muscle milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: try a bite 

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · comic sans alert · ellipses-crazed · email · office fridge · sarcasm · seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing

and pull up your sign

September 25th, 2007 · 91 Comments

writes mel in beaufort, south carolina: “our city has decided to go with those shorter, more pleasing to the eye signs for businesses. all new businesses have had to have them for a few years now, but existing businesses are just starting to have to replace their signs. i guess the local liquor store wasn’t […]

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Tags: raging against the machine · smartass · south carolina