A fancy feast

September 4th, 2007 · 126 comments

Joshua brings us this amazing pair of notes from his apartment building in Philly.

The backstory: “A bulk package of cat food (probably 20 or so cans) was delivered and sat in the hallway for about 4 or 5 days.  We could see what it was because the sides of the package were cardboard, but the top was clear plastic. (Like what you’d find at Costco).  On day 3 or 4 of the cat food being left in the hallway, the plastic had been torn back and a few cans were taken.” The next day, the package was claimed, and this note appeared…

Many thanks to whoever opened up a package that was addressed to me, and stole $19 worth of cat food. Opening up someone else's mail is a federal offense. I hope your cat chokes on the food. :)

Two days later — luckily, after Joshua snapped a photo — the note disappeared. In its place…

To whomever put up the note wishing death upon something's cat over $20, I (ZF) took the note down. I didn't steal your cat's food. I don't have a cat. Did you consider the evil felon who stole your cat's food doesn't live here? There have been a number of workers in the building lately and the food sat there for days. Anyway, I found the note irritating and a little weird (wish cats dead and all) and took it down.

A day later, the response note was torn down, too.

FILED UNDER: cats · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Philadelphia · rebuttals · smiley · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's illegal


126 responses so far ↓

  • #1   BoggyWoggy

    Meow, meow, meow, meow! Meow, *$%&^(, you f-in’ MEOW! Meow, meow. MEEE-ooowww!

    (translation: I took the food! I hid the crap behind the neighbor’s door (2F), you frickin’ idiot! I hate the cheap food you buy me. EAT SHIT!

    Sep 4, 2007 at 11:29 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   M

    I’m on team neighbor. Random people steal shit from apartment buildings all the time. The same shit happened in my building. I should have written the same sort of note instead of just rolling my eyes…

    Sep 4, 2007 at 11:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Wry Exchange

    All together now…..”And it was fucking delicious! Meow”

    Sep 4, 2007 at 11:40 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   GVI

    Who leaves their crap out in the halls and then bitch about people stealing their crap, IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR CRAP STOLEN, PICK IT UP AS SOON AS IT GETS DELIVERED!! or put it in the copy room.

    Sep 4, 2007 at 11:51 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Marissa

    And this lady left her precious cat food outside for days *why*? I’m not too offended about wishing ill upon someone’s cat. I hate most cats. I’m actually more amused by the neighbor’s response.

    Sep 4, 2007 at 11:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   eh

    team neighbor (not team thief)

    choke? but it’s not the cat’s fault. although it’s too bad her stuff got stolen, she shouldn’t have left it out.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Spooky MILF

    I’m on Team Neighbor (and Team Kitty)…..If her $20 was so fucking precious, she wouldn’t have let the food sit out there for days.

    Anyone who has ever lived in an apartment building knows that you don’t leave stuff out like that – you might as well have a written invitation on it that says “help yourself”.

    Poor kitty, probably was starving waiting for its food…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:13 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   agirlie

    thanks wry…this post deserved it…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   damon

    I ate the cat food, and it was fucking delicious!

    Somehow that running gag doesn’t seem to have the same punch as the other times, but anyhoo… :P

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   chloe

    Kitty says “mmmmm cat foood i love itttttt”

    *throws pennies at note*

    Sep 5, 2007 at 1:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Anna-banana

    Okay, now if the catfood indeed was from Costco or thereabouts, the whole stinkin’ package would be worth the 19 bucks. Not a “few cans” as were apparently pilfered.

    If were talkin’ Science Diet or the same ilk, then I could understand the cost differential.

    Otherwise…STFU. People who are NOT clueless usually have an understanding of when things that they ordered are to be delivered. You, the orderer set yourself up to be filched.

    So, BITE ME CATLADY!!!!

    And the neighbor’s note ROCKS.

    Btw, funny how I assume that it’s a woman. Maybe the curly-cues in the handwriting?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 1:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Anna-banana

    The happy face right after the cat death wish is just plain wicked.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Katy

    If you can’t be bothered to get the package of cat food and put it inside your apartment when it’s delivered, you’re stupid for thinking that no one will steal all or part of it.

    It’s not a sack lunch in the company fridge (*that* kind of stealing is pretty fuckin’ low if it’s your own co-workers), it’s not a box of cereal with your name on it on the fridge in your apartment (roommates who steal are inconsiderate jerks).

    To count on random strangers (people who might wander in off the street and poke around because they can) to not steal stuff you left laying out is pretty naive. Don’t get angry because you were stupid. Just don’t fuckin’ do it next time.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 4:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Andy

    That first note was great: a lesson in law (underlined, yet), the “many thanks”, the wishing of harm upon the cat (and not the culprit), and finally, the big-ass smiley face.

    Who said that the food was for a cat, anyhow? I bet someone has a taste for fancy feast.

    Wait a second…. claw71… do you live in Philly? That food WAS out past your 12:45 PM deadline, afterall.

    Case closed. Book ‘em, Dano!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 5:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   claw71

    I don’t live in Philly but I’ve eaten cat food…that is if you consider Fancy Feast to be cat food. To be honest that stuff is ambrosia.

    The note was classically passive aggressive until the author dropped in the choking comment.

    Still it’s important to point out that the responding author was overly sensitive. Nobody wished death upon any cat. Choking doesn’t always entail a fatality.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:49 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   claw71

    I think it is also important to clarify that stealing mail can be a federal offense but that’s only in extreme cases.

    I suspect this wouldn’t fall under federal jurisdiction as a package from Costco would most likely be delivered by a private parcel company such as DHL or UPS.

    What can Brown do for you when your package gets purloined? NOTHING. That’s why they don’t like to leave them laying around unless you tell them to.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 7:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Jeff

    Team neighbor. You leave it lying around, you’re asking for it. If you don’t have room in your apartment for bulk shit (as I don’t) unfortunately, you don’t get the pleasure and savings of buying in bulk.

    And shouldn’t her cat be a vegan anyway? I mean, fancy feast is cruel!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   super_fan#99

    I hate it when people get too exact about anal shit. $19? Couldn’t you just write $20? That drives me nuts. It’s like saying 13 days instead of 2 weeks.

    Maybe whoever took it can rub some cat food all over the stupid neighbors car and sit back and enjoy the show.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   ginger

    what a nasty bitch. wishing ill on a poor cat over $20. i’d go out of my way to annoy the horror.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:28 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Anna-banana

    But there’s no evidence that it is a lady. We’re all assuming!

    Joshua, help us out here, please? Is it a lady? Or a guy with very effeminate script?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   DH1

    Perhaps her cat got tired of waiting for the stupid owner to bring in the chow, so the cat helped himself?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   super_fan#99

    Am I too anal about people who are anal?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Black Bellamy

    Cruise around the neighborhood until you find a dead cat, then throw it under the original note with a Are You Fucking Happy Now? sign.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:23 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   mere

    now see, i think that the food shouldn’t have been sitting in the hallway for as long as it did. this person is lucky only a few cans were taken.
    in my neighborhood, the whole thing would have been gone.
    i don’t condone stealing… but my cat does.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   claw71

    I would have just taken the entire package and traded it for some reefer.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   mere

    superfan #99: i agree.. just say $20.
    does it make you a little nuts when people tell you that their child is 18 months? don’t you just want to say ‘oh, so he’s a year and a half.’
    umm. yeah..
    me either…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Na

      It’s different for babies and toddlers. In adults the difference between a year is small but with babies and toddlers, a month can make a really big difference in their size and development, thus the age of the very young is calculated in months. Otherwise you’d be calculating in fractions, a year and a half, a year and three quaters, a year and four fifths… all of those would have a significant difference of the child’s development and at that stage it’s simpler to go by months. When they’re older and months don’t make much difference, then you go by years.

      Sep 24, 2009 at 3:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Goldie

    I agree, the cat is innocent, so the note should have gone like this: “May YOU choke on cat food!” (smileys, hearts, XOXOXOXO)

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:36 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   T-Bone

    Who the hell has cat food delivered to their house? Give me a fucking break.

    Go to the nearest bodega, pick up a can of cat food on your way home from work, then get over yourself.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 9:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   claw71

    When people tell me how old their kids are in months I always respond by calculating the number of months until the kid reaches the age of consent. That usually shuts them up.

    18 months? That’s 174 months until she’s legal. Catch you later, sweet cheeks.

    It works for a boy too, but check your state!Some states base the age of consent on gender. In fact a few states actually base the age of consent on the gender of both parties. Sadly lesbians can move in quicker than guys in these states. Totally unfair…but so very hot.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   GhostWriter

    In a word, No.

    It is not stupid for someone to leave something outside of their front door and expect it not to be stolen. Yes, there are limits to that rule, and the formula includes the number of days it is sitting there, and the stealability of the item. But at some level, “We Live In A Civilization!!” (to quote George Costanza)

    But I have not been tracking cat food prices lately; did they shoot up because of global warming, or is $19 for four cans a bit excessive?

    Oh, and 2F definitely stole the cat food- that much is obvious.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Joshua Lane

    @Anna-banana – I *think* it was a lady who left the original note …guys don’t usually write in cursive and I don’t think any of the guys in our 8-unit apt bldg have cats. A guy definitely wrote the follow-up note (since he left his apt #, I know who it is).

    @T-Bone (and others) – I *think* this might have been special cat food (maybe for medical or dietary restrictions)… hence needing to order it. But I agree with everyone else… leaving a package in the hallway for 4 days is asking for trouble …no matter what it is.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Cathy

    I used to live in an apartment complex, and had a certain brand of acne medicine that could only be mailed to you. Mail orders are trackable on the internet, so I’m wondering why it took 3 to 4 days to pick up the package.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Anna-banana

    Thanks for clearing things up!

    And for the cool notes!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   anonymouscoworker

    @ GhostWriter- What the hell? “It is not stupid for someone to leave something outside of their front door and expect it not to be stolen.” I’m frankly amazed every morning to find that my lawn hasn’t been pulled up to be used as someone else’s sod. If I don’t want my shit stolen, I lock it inside my house. Yeah, it sucks, but we all can’t live in Pleasantville.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Heather

    So a public hallway is NOT a good place to store stuff? Lemme make a note of that.

    Team Neighbor.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   GhostWriter

    I also want to applaud the PAN Gods for returning to what works best- simple notes between simple minds over simple issues (i.e., Who Stole My Cat Food?!?) The past two notes were simply too mentally taxing- that online blog was a meaningless ramble, and even more irritating, it contained no simple message that could be ridiculed. It was like trying to pick apart Romeo and Juliet, perhaps by suggesting other body parts, rather than a thunb, to “bite at thee” (See- too confusing, right?)

    …and why did I not include this in the “who would’ve thought” comments? Because, who wants to wade through 140 comments on the way? If the note is that chaotic to begin with, I can just imagine that the notes went open-loop as well.

    Mostly, I blame Misshe for this.

    Same with “Bacon is Life” – It started out as a nice simple exchange, but WTF with the 34-point notice ? Why combine the two? I do not want to have to go here to get the full story- I want it on the page and easily digestible.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   GhostWriter

    BTW- Have you seen the internet video of a guy who puts a wallet down in the middle of a sidewalk, and paints a yellow line around it? Nobody picks up the wallet for some reason.

    I wonder if that would work with cat food?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Pants

    Ghostwriter – must you go on at such length on why you don’t like to read long notes? Talk about passive-agressive. Perhaps this blog isn’t all about you…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   claw71

    If you know you can’t secure a package withing a reasonable period of time you should ask a neighbor to hold it for you. That’s assuming that you aren’t a crazy cat lady who signs notes with frightening smiley face doodles.

    Theft is wrong regardless of negligence on the part of the rightful owner. I might be an idiot if I leave my car idling in the parking lot while I grab my lotto tickets but the person who takes it is still a criminal.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 10:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   claw71

    I don’t think the yellow line would work for cat food.

    Cats don’t see in color.

    By the way GW, from what I’ve read Fancy Feast is easily digestible.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Mishee

    That was actually pretty funny Pants – I’m not sure if it was in my defense or not, but it gave me a chuckle. As for the note (because everyone bitches that I talk about everything BUT the note in question) – I love how the misspelling of “felon” was caught (immediately it seems since the correct word was the next one in the sentence) and replaced.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   GhostWriter

    No- while some fringe scientists have suggested that there actually is a reasonable debate on the matter, the vast majority of mainstream researchers uniformly agree that this blog is all about me

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   whats in the name

    I found the whole thing too funny and had a hearty laugh he he!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   john

    In order to avoid this, my apartment complex has some how convinced ups and fedex to not even try and drop off packages at your apartment, but bring them directly to the rental office.

    The extra trip to the rental office is probably worth it to not have my random aquarium pieces jacked by some hobo looking for something to eat/pawn.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Mishee

    GhostWriter, you are a TRUE pan.com pal… I’m not sure if you noticed, but the Mishee flurries are usually only during the typical work day – I don’t usually go on the computer at home – contrary to popular belief I DO (italics! dammit, gotta click on your link!) actually have a life! :) I just get bored at work cause it’s a lower volume job than my previous ones… I’m just too good at what I do!! :)

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Mishee

    (testing my new knowledge of HTML)

    I hope your CAT CHOKES on that food!! How mean is that to wish harm on an innocent little Puddy Tat??

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   the sos

    My favorites so far:

    “Choking doesn’t always entail a fatality.”

    “Cruise around the neighborhood until you find a dead cat, then throw it under the original note with a Are You Fucking Happy Now? sign.”

    “Sadly lesbians can move in quicker than guys in these states. Totally unfair…but so very hot.”

    Claw71 – which states? as a lesbian i may be up for a move ;)

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Alexis

    I was going to say (but I see Josh did) that it was probably prescription food. The medical foods are often order only or through vets. I have to pick up a few cases for a friend regularly, and they are over $40 for 12 can.

    Leaving things out in a hallway is not wise, but it certainly doesn’t justify stealing. Josh said the building has 8 units, and I’m sure it was secure. Maybe the owner was out of town when it came. Or maybe she just trusted that the other 8 people (since they seem to know each other) wouldn’t steal. Was it a silly thing to trust is– maybe. Does that make stealing right?

    If I were a neighbor, I might have put a note up about people leaving things in the hallway if she did it intentionally. That’s against most complexes’ rules. But besides that, I’m on the owner’s side.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Spooky MILF

    I’ve had packages stolen the same day they were delivered!! I complained to the landlord, and after that, UPS or FedEX, or whatever the company had to make sure tenants were home or try again the next day.

    Still on Team Neighbor…

    Friskies is yummier by the way, and more protein. :D

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   the sos

    Seriously, though. Stealing is almost always wrong. But, so is wishing harm to someone’s pet. Happy medium? How about an “I owe you” for the food and a “Your cat has 4 days (one for each can) before which time I shall cast a spell of hairball fits upon it” in return? It’s really all about communication, people.

    And on a more scarey note, people that leave notes wishing death (or near death experiences) to others are the type of crazies who just might leave a pack of poisoned food out for the next thief…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 11:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   claw71

    SOS: I think the southern states have statutatory laws that are more forgiving about lesbians. So depending on where you’re from you might have to remove teeth and take several blows to the head to qualify for residency status.

    In Kentucky the age of consent is 14 (12 if the realtionship is incestuous) but if the relationship in question is girl on girl the age of consent is 12 across the board. And why not? They’re going to hell anyway, right?

    It’s important to note that they don’t count all that well in Kentucky (unless they’re tallying up the number of cans of snuff in a tube) so actual ages vary. Check with your local truck stop for details.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   the sos

    Thanks for the clarification. I do not want to live in Kentucky.

    And, sorry I misspelled “scary”.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Weaselcheeks

    #28 I’m dying here! My teeth grind when people tell me the age of their children in months. I’ll be sure to check with my state’s age of consent laws.

    Seriously, the cat food person didn’t seem to think the food was important until a couple of cans went missing.

    I think we all learned an important lesson here: Don’t leave your shit in public places.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Mishee

    on the subject of the off number thing – I just remembered this curve in the road across town, the little yellow sign with the speed limit for the curve is for 19 MPH… that one always struck me as a bit odd….

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Mishee

    you guys think the $19 is off, there’s a speed limit sign across town for a curve in the road that states the limit is 19 MPH… that’s just a little weird!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   claw71

    Mishee:

    Do not mock or question the speed recommendations posted on those signs. The department of transportation conducts extensive studies on every bend in every road and calculates the maximum safe speed for that particular feature.

    You might have a high performance car that can press the limits of engineering and take the turn at 20 or 21 miles per hour but you’re taking your life in your hands if you regularly exceed those posted speeds.

    Billions of tax dollars have been spent on those signs. Respect them. Remember: speed kills. Sure, a can of jinxed cat food can do a number on an unsuspecting kitty but speed is kills people. Dead.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Nanna

    First of all, GhostWriter complains about long posts is his long comments. Typical.

    Second, people who leave things out for four days in an apartment building are begging for it to be taken. They might as well have left a note on it saying “please take me.”

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   mere

    i will also remember the age of consent in months . thanks claw!
    i really do that passive aggressive recalc in years (who ME?!), but now, i’ll just answer in months.
    he he he.

    mishee- what?! 19 mph?!!
    that’s nuts.

    and i tried to use simple html, but it may not have worked…. let’s see

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Mishee

    claw, what if a kitty eats the jinxed food, and then in her death throes stumbles out into the middle of the road (right in the deep of a 19mph curve) and gets hit by a speedster doing at least (god I love the italics!) 22 mph… would that be considered reckless driving or would the driver be absolved of any responsibility because the no-good note writer jinxed the kitty and it was gonna die anyways… hmmm.. something to ponder…

    Sep 5, 2007 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Ginevra

    In general I agree with the rule of left in a public area = takeable. But I also conform to the rule of not stealing from an unopened package.

    Also, re: the 19mph speed limit, there is a large pedestrianized area where I work, and the one driveable street that crosses it has a speed limit posted of 22mph. According to The Powers That Be, people are more likely to notice, and hence obey, an unusual speed limit.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Mishee

    wow, I sure did notice the speed limit, as a tore around that curve going a breakneck 25 mph!!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 1:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   GhostWriter

    Point of Order – I am being accused of complaining about long notes (through the use of a long note) when I actually complained about complex multiple-topic non sequitur notes.

    A posted 19 MPH speed limit is a cop trap, so they can pull you over for going 20, check your insurance, and search your car.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 1:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   claw71

    GW

    The cautionary signs posted near hazards such as bumps, curves and railroad tracks are not speed limit signs enforcable by law. They are DOT recommendations.

    And while it is true that you did complain about “open loop” comments you also expressed disdain over the previous submissions by the PAN gods. You wrote that they were too long and rambling.

    As a point of order I have to object to your point of order. You clearly complained about both issues and I recommend the court of the mighty PAN god find you in contempt.

    Furthermore I ask the court to consider your recent activities in aiding and abbetting Mishee in her attmepts to utilize HTML to draw even more attention to her posts when imposing your sentence.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Mishee

    With the public outcry against me GhostWriter, you might receive a pretty hefty sentence for helping me…

    But thank you either way – you are truly a compassionate person!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   CA Girl

    P.S. Cat food is life and if you want to talk about the cat food, please text me at work….

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Mishee

    Then why bring it up? You made GW sound like a Quaker during the Civil War (if you were a southerner)… I’m just a woman with alot of time on my hands!! Why can’t people just accept me for ME!?!?!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   GhostWriter

    No and also, No -
    Even if I did, in fact, complain to the PAN Gods that earlier notes were long and rambling (which I didn’t) I would not technically be in contempt of the PAN Gods, because my note did not rise to a level of unwarranted disrespect. Any jury would acquit me, and you’d be left with the unenviable task of cleaning up the confetti.

    Wow- just as Mishee predicted, that was a hefty sentence!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Anna-banana

    Fine the GW!!!!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Mishee for President

    My cats eat on a special placemat.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   Zsa

    hope its not a fat chefs placemat. that would turn even a cat’s stomach

    Sep 5, 2007 at 2:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   Mishee

    OMG! Mishee for Prez, how did you know my little calico had her own placemat??? That’s spooky! Are you stalking me???

    Sep 5, 2007 at 3:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Nanna

    Claw, can I be on the grand jury for GW’s indictment?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 3:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   GVI

    Ok this one time, back in band camp (i was really in home depot) and i saw a sign posted for 2 1/2 mph.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   claw71

    Sure, Nanna, but I’m thinking of filing additional charges since it does look as though GW committed perjury. In post #36 he clearly expresses displeasure with the previous offerings by the mighty PAN god. H

    Being a crafty sort, I’m sure he’ll use semantics to duck the charges but when it comes to complaining, I know it when I see it and the PAN god is unforgiving.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 3:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Mishee

    I believe that the PAN God is a loving and forgiving God… she will not hold it against GW for speaking their mind, since that is why The PAN God started the site in the first place… hell, if the PAN God hasn’t blocked my IP address from posting comments, I don’t think she will be punishing ANY of us peons, cause if she does, it will most likely be ME!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 4:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Mishee

    Free GW! I’m going to get a placard and a sharpie, I will be back soon to start the picketing….

    Sep 5, 2007 at 4:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   Nanna

    Yes, and perjury when GW said he never said those things you said he said. Present your evidence!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 4:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   claw71

    Yes, I believe you once accused me of going too far. That’s why I have a personal stake in pursuing this case and I’ll do anyhting to see you hang.

    Fortunately the PAN god is a merciless god with an arbitrary sense of judgement (much like most other gods). Surely your motions will be denied and my partiality will never be an issue.

    You will pay dearly, GhostWriter!

    Mwah ha ha.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Mishee

    I just do what you tell me, you didn’t tell me to do anything! That will be $2500. for the hour I worked and for expenses (I had to treat the judge to lunch) and the phone conversations I had with expert witnesses regarding your case…

    I accept AMEX, MC, VISA, and cash… no Discover though, Discover sucks!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   get a room

    Thanks for ruining the site with your inane drivel. Fucktards.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 5:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   Nanna

    OMG I am LMAO! I lay down for a quick nap and this happens. Yes, GW was thoroughly entrapped.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   Gadget

    Team neighbor all the way. Leaving your clutter in a public area….highly negative.

    And $20 worth of cat food?

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   m

    sure it’s a federal offense, but i’d like to see her press charges.

    you know what’s also against the law? threatening harm upon somebody else or their pets. in some states it’s called crimnal threatening. in others it’s called assault. either way, it’s typically a misdemeanor charge that doesn’t look to well on job or apartment applications.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   Anna-banana

    Thank you, “lawyer m”.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   lauralaiwc

    i laugh hysterically at this.

    no, the stupid idiot leaving the food out doesn’t mean that someone else stealing it is ok, it just means that this person was a cotton headed ninny muggins for leaving it out. what do you expect? that would be like me going out to an archery range and jumping in front of a flying arrow and getting killed. ok, maybe not that much the same.

    i love that 2F had the balls to leave their unit number.

    my nextdoor neighbor has left their damn opened , rotting maggot filled garbage bags in front of their door for 2 weeks, and since no one wants to steal it, i kicked it this morning on the way by. not very nice, but i cant wait to get home and see if its gone finally. its been stormy and windy so im counting on them thinking thats what it was.

    i did NOT have the balls to say who kicked the bag over ;)

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Mishee

    I agree that leaving his apt # was ballsy… if it that WAS his apt#! But I do have to say that the guy hasn’t probably had many brushes with the law in his life is he is calling a cat food thief an “evil felon” – that kinda made me laugh also!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 6:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   lauralaiwc

    it is a rather dramatic notion!!!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 7:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   dawn

    Team kitty, for sure. Free food tastes better. Except when you’re choking on it.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   GVI

    But that cat food would be fucking delicious thought. Thank you Terry(i swear i will put that on a t-shirt)

    Sep 5, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   dawn

    I dunno, now that I think about it, if that special, medically prescribed cat food is anything like all-natural, health-nut food (think Clif bars or Luna bars), the poor cat has probably already been punished quite enough.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   Nanna

    I agree with you, dawn. I am switching my dog from kibbles n bits to a healthier brand, so I mixed the 2 to get her used to the new one.

    She eats all the kibbles n bits first, then the healthy stuff. The healthy stuff must taste like crap. I’m not sure whether to keep mixing or go back to kibbles n bits!

    I know I would never have the balls to put my unit number on a note like that. Team 2F!

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Dave9

    OK, if just “a few cans” were taken, how could it be worth $19 ($20)?? I buy cat food all the time, and the cans are not very expensive. I’m thinking this might be a gourmet or health specialty brand, or the complainant is simply exaggerating. Team 2F.

    Sep 5, 2007 at 8:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   BoggyWoggy

    Stop referring to the “owner” of this post as the PAN God, Mishee. That’s almost getting older than just seeing your name here.

    And, once again, I’m having to change your job description. I heard that you were too damn good at what you do, so I’m promoting you from pushing the automated “water ON” button at the carwash to new chamois-dry manager. You won’t be as bored now. You’ll get to rub your hands all over folks’ car windows, leaving them with a streak-free shine (just like your underwear!)

    Sep 6, 2007 at 12:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   lauralaiwc

    i laugh at how many times people make the same damn comments on these boards over and over again. i guess no one bothers to even at least glance at the first dozen or so posts, where the most obvious things have already been said, so they can think of something unique to say…

    Sep 6, 2007 at 9:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   GhostWriter

    BogWog- your note betrays a hidden attraction to Mishee- phrases like:

    “just seeing your name…”
    “Im having to change…”
    “you were too damn good…”
    “pushing the …ON button”
    “…new chamois…”
    “rub your hands all over…”
    “…like your underwear”

    It’s practically a love ballad, fer Chrissakes. Get a room.

    Also, I laugh at how many times people make the same damn comments on these boards over and over again. I guess no one bothers to even at least glance at the first dozen or so posts, where the most obvious things have already been said, so they can think of something unique to say…

    Sep 6, 2007 at 10:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   Mishee

    GW you kill me! LMAO! As for Boggy, you just know you love to see my name up there… especially now that I know how to make it italic and bold

    GO TEAM MISHEE!!!

    maybe I should go back to that website and see the code to increase font and see if that works… if for no other reason than to annoy the hell outta Boggy…!

    Sep 6, 2007 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   claw71

    You can make the font bigger if you rub it a little.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 12:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   lauralaiwc

    gar @ whoever decided to teach these people basic html.
    it istragic.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 1:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   lauralaiwc

    oops. meh. my typos are tragic too.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   robins

    hey blue ink- your handwriting is funky! do you over pinch your pen when you write?! :p

    Sep 6, 2007 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Nanna

    Yes, and that is just like you, you conceited little darling!

    Sep 6, 2007 at 4:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   Anna-banana

    One popcorn & a coke.

    And of course, I’ll be wearing my Thank you, Terry t-shirt.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   BoggyWoggy

    Opening scene:
    BoggyWoggy enters, stage left.
    “Mishee. Shut up.”
    Mishee comes onto the stage.
    She begins to open her mouth.
    Suddenly, a large horsefly enters her big trap door. Her eyes roll back. She falls to the floor. The audience goes wild!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   TAKEN

    This is just plan rediculious*. I say thats what you get for leaving the food out in the hall way. The only person who can be blamed is the one who left the food. God forbid that kitty be hungary he wouldve had to starve a whole work week before his/her sloth owner decided hey maybe I should feed my cat instead of feeding my slothasaurous self for once. I think someone should just take the cat away and leave a brown bag of burning poo in return!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   BoggyWoggy

    Time’s up…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   BoggyWoggy

    Now, back to the note-at-hand…
    If a container of catfood were left in the hallway outside a classroom door in the school I work in, the fire marshall would come and write up the staff for creating a violation of the safety code. It seems this tenant should receive that write-up, along with a fine, for impeding the safe escape of others in case of fire.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   Andy

    Boggy:

    Catfood is left outside classrooms?

    What kind of school is this? Is it for snack?

    The thing is, your response is perfectly sane and logical. However, that’s the kind of world I’m trying to escape when I read the notes here on this site. ;)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 8:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   Nanna

    Yeah, this is not the place for sane and logical. At all. This is the place where we concoct t-shirts that read “Thank You Terry” and contemplate murky liquid.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   BoggyWoggy

    Yeah, Andy. As a matter of fact, I bet some teachers are resorting to catfood for snack. Think about it…it’s cheap, highly nutricious, crunchy, cool-shaped, and melts in your mouth/not in your hands!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 10:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   GVI

    I guess i shud say, that catfood for lunch was fucking delicious?? but i don’t know if it is. Hey who knows if that catfodd was fucking delicious?

    Sep 8, 2007 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   Anna-banana

    Claw does. Didn’t you read, GVI? He lives for that stuff!

    Thank you, Terry.

    Sep 8, 2007 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   BoggyWoggy

    Hey, I put Mishee in the hallway outside an apartment for WEEKS and no one took her! What’s the deal?

    Sep 8, 2007 at 11:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   Andy bang

    BoggyWoggy,

    Just think about a happy place. That’s what gets me through those hard times.

    Envision a land of fucking delicious bread, murky brown liquids, along with the childern in Rene Hall.

    Better?

    Sep 9, 2007 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Anna-banana

    Boggy’s been snorting too much of her beautiful garden’s fertilizer!

    Sep 9, 2007 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   philsilvers

    omg……claw71, your are one funny guy!

    where do you come up with all this hilarious original stuff????

    only a brilliant, one-of-a-kind genius like you could make a connection between southern, incest & children……..don’t think i have ever heard that joke before!…..then while i am still trying to recover from the hilarity of that, you jump right back with southern & stupid……laugh?……i thought my sides would split…..gosh…..only YOU could think up something like that……keep up that innovative humor…….

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   philsilvers

    dammit dammit dammit
    you’re not your

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   philsilvers

    dammit dammit dammit
    you’re ……not your

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   philsilvers

    dammit…. dammit…. dammit….

    you’re……….NOT your

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    Dec 4, 2007 at 1:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    Aug 22, 2008 at 3:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   wishin’ and hopin’

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    Sep 24, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   The Ninth Planet

    The second note should have read:

    You’re welcome.

    And I don’t have a cat.

    Sep 24, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   ceaserricalty

    Hey I’m Marshall and I’ve been reading the forum for a while now and I thought it was that I said Aloha and introduced myself. I’m 28 and run a health equipment company with my uncle and live in sunny San Diego, California with my 2 wonderful kids. I love cycling and golf but hate mushrooms…and I guess that’s all you need to know [url=http://getpenisenlargement.net][img]http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0071.gif[/img][/url]

    Mar 30, 2010 at 6:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #123.1   Mark bang

      Maybe if you ate more shrooms, your penis would be bigger. Or you’d think it was, anyway.

      Mar 30, 2010 at 9:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #124   Take a moment and look up the word RUDE. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] I hope your cat chokes [...]

    Jan 6, 2011 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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