our anonymous submitter has held on to this email for more than five years now, but she still has no idea what she did to offend the sender. she barely knew him at the time, she says, “and needless to say, i don’t know him any better now, except i have a better handle on his mental state.”
206 responses so far ↓
#1
Marcelo
This will offend some people, but I find it amazing how most religious(bordering fanaticism) people I know are completely arrogant and have no respect to people that don’t go to the same church as they do. Also amazing how they choose which parts of the teachings they want to follow and ignore all the rest.
Team anonymous submitter.
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:07 pm rating: +16
#2
Kat
LOL. Mailer DEMON!!!
If I hadn’t read the blurb before the note, I would never have guessed that a guy had written this.
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:07 pm rating: +1
#3
Dave9
Agree with Marcelo.
Gotta love the imacinations of some folk.
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:22 pm rating: 0
#4
skye
He says “if you would like to remain friends”
Sorry bubba, you weren’t her friend in the first place. The writer reminds me of several members of my extended family. I stay far far away from them. Marcelo made a great point about the fanatics only following the rules they want to follow. Guess they missed “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” “Judge not, lest ye be judged” and “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and of course “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:26 pm rating: 0
#5
eh
team mailer hell daemon
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:28 pm rating: +1
#6
Anna-banana
Who really cares about some innocuous religious implication.
What’s really cool is that the writer uses all different points, fonts, and even underlines to differentiate each thought.
THAT’S what is really bizarre!!!
Go Team “You”
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:30 pm rating: 0
#7
Wry Exchange
I could tell he was crazy before reading the words. A different font for each paragraph, some with underlines, different sizes, bolds, and in italics. He only missed a big yellow un-smiley face. Putz.
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: +1
#8
stephanie
wow that guy is bat shit crazy
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:40 pm rating: +2
#9
GVI
Someone needs a hug from Jesus.
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:48 pm rating: +2
#10
jess
wtf??
here’s what i love most about this email. the different font sizes. the creative use of italics, bold font and underlining.
and, hey dude..it’s mailer DAEMON…just thought you’d like to know…
Sep 5, 2007 at 10:55 pm rating: 0
#11
T-Bone
This note reminds me of the stalker I had when I lived in L.A. Good times!
Stephanie, you’re right– that guy is most certainly bat shit crazy.
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:23 pm rating: 0
#12
Mr DeBakey
Holy Fuck!
Nothing Passive There
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:26 pm rating: 0
#13
Zsa
Ye gads~ this could have been written by my mother.
I dont want to be mad at you so after you think about what you might have done to to make me mad (but I’m not mad now) you can talk to me about it and apologize.
The logic makes my head hurt. I’d say Bat Shit crazy, but what exactly is so crazy about bat shit?
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:43 pm rating: 0
#14
Katy
I love how some people always use the “if you wanna continue being my friend” line. Look at what an asshole this letter-writer is! Who the hell would WANT to be this guy’s friend?
Craaazzyyyy!!
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:44 pm rating: 0
#15
Anna-banana
I don’t want to be his friend.
Wait a minute…what if he already IS my friend and I just don’t know it….?
Hmmm……?
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
#16
Zsa
Whoo~ I just checked out the email address– GO Oregon State! I told you Oregon was hell- we have Mailer Deamons!
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:47 pm rating: +1
#17
Andy
Wow. Crazy, patronizing, hypocritical, crazy.
See, that’s great. Go to church, learn about tolerance and the Golden Rule, then ignore someone’s existance.
The writer didn’t even apologize about being crazy pissed for two Sundays because of a stupid MAILER-DAEMON error.
That’s why I’ll never tell my kids that college is a great place to meet new people. I’ll probably say that it’s perfect place to prepare for work, since you have to put up with crazy douchebags all of the time. The only difference is that at work you get paid.
Bleah.
Sep 5, 2007 at 11:51 pm rating: +1
#18
Team Cassandra
That guy goes to CHURCH!?!
I bet Sundays are CHOCK FULL of righteous indignation for that guy! yeesh!
And not even a hint??? If he already doesn’t get the “inner imacinations” of the posters mind then how does he figure she’ll “guess” what she did wrong.
I guess if she kept the note for five years she must be pretty curious, but obviously smart enough to know who she wants for a friend.
Good on you, girlie!
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:07 am rating: 0
#19
agirlie
I bet she had a beer and it pissed him off. Or danced or bought a lotto ticket. Those things are no-nos with my denomination…still I wonder what she did to make him go bitchcakes like that?
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:16 am rating: +1
#20
Amanda
lol @ at the commenters who think anyone going to church has anything to do with this letter.
“by church on Sunday” is a benchmark for time. If he doesn’t hear back from her by then, goodbye. Not, “if I don’t see you sitting in church on Sunday you’re dead to me.”
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: +1
#21
GVI
Well assumption is what we do best here Amanda, the same way you ASSUME[bold,underline,italic] that he used church as a benchmark for time.
Hey guess doesn’t his crazy writing remind you of Terry, or is it just me??
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#22
Angela Merkel
Speaking of Terry, I always saw Terry as Anthony Grosso’s nickname… don’t know if anyone else picked up on that, but I didn’t really want to read through 150 comments to find out…
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:54 am rating: 0
#23
BoggyWoggy
My mom was pretty mad at me lately…and her e-mail to me said, “You’re heading down a road that may lead you to a time when no one will even want to ride with you in a limo on the way to a funeral.” OK, it’s pretty clear she’s messed up, but this guy’s letter makes me feel like movin’ in with my mom. She’s NOTHING compared to him!
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:57 am rating: 0
#24
Tiffany
I’m no psychologist, but I’m pretty sure this person is crazy.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:03 am rating: 0
#25
Potbelly
It always amazing how people always try to bet all these crazy notes MUST come from women, but then they’re usually revealed to be from dudes. It’s like women have this rep for being whiny PA nutcases, but this site is debunking that myth. Just another reason to love it!
Oh and this note is a contrarian delight. The guy is clearly deeply in love.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 0
#26
Zoob
It sounds strikingly like someone I know who just flies off the handle. Couldn’t be though, because the emails were OSU. The asshole I know didn’t go there.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:32 am rating: 0
#27
eh
i need a hug from jesus
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:04 am rating: 0
#28
team terry
Okay…this guy seems like someone who will more than likely kill his wife when she asks to divorce his crazy ass all because he flipped out over some imaginary thing he thinks she did. Men like this make me scared for our daughters and sisters!!!
Ooh, this just in…can you imagine the letters we could devour if Rene Hall and this guy were roommates…Muahahahahahahaaaaa (insert evil grin here)
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:35 am rating: 0
#29
Nanna
If this note was handwritten, it would for sure have creepy serial killer handwriting. How the hell can you be angry at someone but not be angry, and that all in the same sentence.
Obviously Insane.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:21 am rating: 0
#30
brie
I agree with Potbelly – the guy obviously had a crush on her. She probably looked at someone else and he lost his shit.
Where exactly are the ‘inner imacinations of [one's] mind’? Sounds need.
Team sender for keeping it all these years.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:50 am rating: +1
#31
vib
This is just a hilarious mixture of technical ignorance and total crazyness. I love the part “i will continue to ignore your existence most likely till i die”.
Sep 6, 2007 at 5:00 am rating: 0
#32
Goopie
The osu.edu domain is Ohio State, not Oregon State. Think “crazy Midwestern bible boy” — not “deranged Wild West Mountain hick.”
Sep 6, 2007 at 6:12 am rating: 0
#33
ginger
after i finished thinking i doubt i’d be using church language. this confirms why i always feel uneasy around very churchy people.
Sep 6, 2007 at 6:21 am rating: 0
#34
claw71
I’m not kidding either.
That’s rich but the only reason a person would feel inclined to include such a disclaimer is if that person has a history of never living up to their threats.
The next message will include the statement: I really, really mean it this time.
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:14 am rating: 0
#35
claw71
You’re killing Anthony Grosso with your second hand self-righteousness. And you haven’t tithed in six months.
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:22 am rating: 0
#36
Andy
Amanda: You’re saying that “by church time” is a common benchmark for time?
Maybe if you’re Amish and watches are for heathens.
Team Get A Fucking Watch So You Can Say, “If I don’t get a response by 9 AM Sunday”, Asshat.
Dang, I shouldn’t get this worked up in the morning. Ah well.
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:28 am rating: +2
#37
Mrs L Carrot
A four star nut bar for sure but it does sound like the kind of attention seeking behaviour of a psycho in love…
You’re well out of it sister!
Cheers
LC
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:32 am rating: 0
#38
Garden Greenfinch
Yikes- PSYCHO!
If I were her, I’d move, change my name and have extensive plastic surgery.
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:17 am rating: 0
#39
claw71
Amanda, you’re an idiot. Of course he meant church as a religious service. I’ve traveled all around the country and I have never heard somebody use church as a benchmark for time. And don’t even try to say it’s an Ohio thing. I live in Columbus. We actually use clocks.
The author of this e-mail is one of those holier-than-thou bible thumpers who is probably pissed at this woman because she strayed from the path and blasphemed while they were out. I work with a yahoo who runs and tells on anybody who lets a minor curse word fly.
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:23 am rating: +2
#40
anon
imagination+machinations=imacinations
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:42 am rating: 0
#41
Anna-banana
Maybe I’ve seen too many Westerns, but something rings a bell in my mind about Amanda’s ‘by church on Sunday’ time limit. I didn’t pick up on it until she said something.
But, didn’t they say something to that effect? Not just ‘by noon’ someday, somewhere? And then they battled it out & settled the score in a duel.
Or am I just nuts, like Amanda?
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:55 am rating: 0
#42
Fraulein N
If this weren’t typed (in about 4 different fonts and such), I don’t think it would be handwritten. This has “ransom note cut & paste letters” all over it. Don’t kidnappers usually “hope to hear from you” too?
I really want to know what his “behavior for the last two sundays” was. I mean, besides going to church and being completely batshit.
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:55 am rating: +1
#43
Rfunk
Best part? He’s not kidding either.
Awesome.
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:00 am rating: 0
#44
claw71
Here’s a shorter and possibly more mature version of this note I found at the local playgorund scrawled in crayon:
“You made me very mad. Now I won’t be your friend. If you’re sorry you need to tell me before Thundar comes on this Saturday or I will never talk to you again. Maybe.”
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:01 am rating: 0
#45
claw71
Team Mailer Demon:
Dark Lord of the Inbox.
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:03 am rating: +2
#46
ShagNBag
I would really LOVE to know what it was that offended. Oh and what a loss to history that the (chuckle) DAEMON destroyed the original letter!
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 0
#47
Jacinda
I’m seriously afraid for the chick that got this from the guy. In all actuality, this is how stalkers start. They assume power over others and make them aware of what the stalker thinks they did is wrong, and how they have to make up for it “or else”.
In my own opinion, what a fuckin’ psycho!
I love how he tells her she needs to think it over, and then get in contact with HIM.
Yeah, most people love mulling over their supposed “wrongs” to come crawling back to someone that didn’t even realize was PISSED.
People like Email Crazy here make me want to punch someone in the face.
Team ANTI-STALKER
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:22 am rating: +1
#48
The Fresh Cracker
Wow. Just… wow.
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:44 am rating: 0
#49
Max Roswell
Of course the guy’s a religious wacko. I think we all know about METHODISTS and their CRAZY FONTS.
Yeah, you heard me.
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:47 am rating: +1
#50
lauralaiwc
yeah, this is why people think anyone who has faith is a psycho nut ball, which really ruins it for those of us who are not.
but, in the defense of religious individuals who DON’T write crazy stalker notes, its like if we do one minor thing wrong, we get labeled as an ignorant bible-thumping nut, when in reality, we are just people too and we make normal people mistakes. ahh, ignorance of all. for both the crazy religious types and for the ones who look for little mistakes to pick on. find a PRODUCTIVE hobby.
on this note, it sounds like someone puts a little bit more value on their own self-worth than is really merrited. why anyone would want to continue to be a pal with someone like this, after a letter like this, is beyond me.
run, girl, run!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:50 am rating: +1
#51
Black Bellamy
It really drives me nuts that some people pronounce it DAH-EH-MON.
And yet Caesar comes out Ceasar, not Ca-eysar.
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: 0
#52
Anonymous
that made me laugh, I wonder if this may have been sent to the wrong email address (like the letter) >.> wouldnt surprise me; the deamons probably got to him.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:02 am rating: 0
#53
Ben
Completely nuts. Oh, the perils of linguistically overreaching one’s self. To take a guess at the “inner imacinations” of the sender’s mind, he must have heard a really cool turn of phrase (inner machinations maybe?) and tried to employ it to add some moral and intellectual superiority– and came out looking like an illiterate fool.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 0
#54
the sos
This guy can stick this letter where it belongs – not that he cares not to know where that is – and I really mean it. If he doesn’t, I will probably continue ignoring his existence “till” the day I die. He should think about why I feel this way…
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:21 am rating: 0
#55
jm
If Mr Crazy fonts really had any desire to work it out he would have called. Yet another cas of one bad apple spoiling the whole “church” bunch.
I can’t believe she even kept the email. I would have burned on the church lawn (or maybe his car)
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:23 am rating: 0
#56
Lori
The inner imacinations of your mind? Pychedelic!
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:27 am rating: 0
#57
teamster
Team hugs from Jesus!
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 0
#58
GhostWriter
I am willing to bet that no MAILER DAEMON ever destroyed an alleged “original” note. This whole thing had been stewing in his lunatic bean for over two weeks, and he started to realize that it’s way too long a time to remain angry at her, simply because she ate her seasoned curly fries without first saying Grace.
So he concocted the alleged “first note” story, insisted that he is “no longer angry” but all the while was planning to make a lampshade out of her skin unless she confessed and atoned by church on Sunday.
Man, I hope she did the right thing…
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:38 am rating: +1
#59
Marissa
I wonder if he drenched his computer in holy water after the Mailer Daemon ate his letter. What a nutjob.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:40 am rating: 0
#60
Katzndogz
He’s either lying or leaving something out. First he says that his e-mail *promptly* returned to him by mailer daemon. Then he says that he assumed she got it and never responded – thus explaining his behavior for two weeks.
The mailer daemon wouldn’t have waited two weeks to send the error message.
This guy is about a dozen bricks short of a load.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: 0
#61
e
Whoa.
I can see keeping the email for the fact that I would read it over and over again hoping I would find the joke somewhere.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:46 am rating: 0
#62
Mel
The problem with the stalker types when they say they’ll never talk to you again is that they never mean it and they keep calling. Since this is several years ago (she said she held on to the note for a while), I’m assuming she’s successfully managed to dodge this dodgy fellow.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#63
Becki
Wow. So many ways to go with this one. I wouldn’t be so quick to label him a “religious nut”. Going to church doesn’t make one a Christian any more than being in a garage makes you a car. Maybe church is just where he goes to pick up chicks? Not doing very well, obviously. If I were the sender, I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut. I would just HAVE to know what my great sin is before I could let it go. Then I would probably be so sweet and contrite that he would look like an even bigger idiot (if that’s at all possible). Is he still ignoring her or is he dead?
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#64
Katzndogz
Also, I think that the “church on Sunday” thing is definitely talking about seeing her at church and not a colloquial way of defining a period of time. He mentions previous Sundays in his e-mail, so it seems pretty clear that these people know each other through church.
I’d further hypothesize that it’s probably a church frequented by a lot of college students who come from different backgrounds and have varying levels of adherence to the bible. Anonymous might have been drinking a beer and laughing about the latest episode of South Park – stuff that was okay in her church back home, but was considered blasphemous to this dude. She’d never know what got him bent out of shape because their beliefs are so different.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#65
Spreggels
This one seems pretty cut and dried: the note writer is a nutbar. I wish we had a bit more context, though — there had to be _some_ kind of perceived slight for him to go off on such an unhinged diatribe, right?
Actually, maybe he’s just crazy.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:57 am rating: +1
#66
Mishee
wow, I am not sure what to say about this note… although I am pretty sure OSU is Oregon State University. That’s what they call it there, so I guess this note once again goes to show that Oregon is not only a crazy place, but it makes people who live there crazy too…
I think it has something to do with the weather patterns… I swear it is on crack or something…
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#67
Mishee
ummm, yeah, I just went to the handy dandy http://www.m-w.com and I hate to say it but “imachinations” is NOT a word! Just thought I would let everyone know that, so they can all start picking on that one too…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: 0
#68
the sos
OSU could also be Okla State U. Lots of crazies down this way. Or Ohio State. Google search brings up Ohio, Oregon, then OK. I’d expect more religious nuttery out of OK, but those freaks are everywhere soo…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:04 am rating: 0
#69
Lisa
oh my, good riddance is all I can say.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:08 am rating: 0
#70
Mishee
Ah shit I will be the first to admit it when I am wrong, but if you just go to your address bar and type in http://www.osu.edu it’s Ohio State… damn! I love the crazy Oregonian theory!!
Oh well, Ohio probably sucks pretty bad too… I wouldn’t know though…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:09 am rating: 0
#71
fb
this is definitely Ohio State. They’re buckeyes, I mean come on! If that doesn’t say crazy then what does?
besides his email address is something like emotionalfonts@osu.edu
osu.edu = ohio state
oregonstate.edu = oregon state (it’s a stretch, I know)
okstate.edu = oklahoma state
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: 0
#72
Juliet
I have had the friends who have said, “Think about what YOU DID and APOLOGIZE.”
This guy gets my vote for ‘Martyr of the Month’.
I’d love to know what the submitter did that was so disgusting. Not giving the martyr his due maybe?
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#73
claw71
Picking up chicks in church? Yeah, I’ve tried that. I showed this one hottie my rosary beads and she slapped me.
I do get tired of so-called “true” Christians insisting that the whack-jobs who do crazy things in the name of Christianity aren’t really Christians. But then they’ll turn around and call Muslims fanatics who can’t be trusted.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: +1
#74
Mishee
I just wonder what it is that crazy thinks the submitter did that they had to THINK about it and then apologize!
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:26 am rating: 0
#75
claw71
Ohio State is crazy.
Look at how they emphasize THE. It’s not Ohio State it’s THE Ohio State University. And of course we all know that a Buckeye is a bitter nut, right?
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:27 am rating: +1
#76
lauralaiwc
i like the christian/church and car/garage analogy. good, good point.
and, as someone pointed out, there are a tad few contradictions in this thing, so i think the sender is just plain psycho.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:28 am rating: 0
#77
recipient
As the recipient of this e-mail, I thought I’d address a few comments.
- Yes, the e-mail is from Ohio State.
- I’ve kept it all these years because it is the single most bizarre message I’ve ever received. I recently made copies of it and passed it around work after discovering that a co-worker went to college with the sender. We freaked out when we found out we both knew him and he described the sender as having “crazy eyes.”
- We went to a pub that evening, suggested by the Melissa mentioned (Thurman’s – for the commenter from Columbus.) The sender was not of age but the rest of us were. I think we maybe had two beers a piece. We found out after the fact that the sender was completely against alcohol consumption and thought that being invited to a bar would not involve alcohol.
- I had previously turned down the sender during the one evening we spent alone. That evening I started to say something and he cut me off with, “Be quiet, I’m thinking.” Literally 10 minutes later he said, “Okay, I’ve been thinking about all the signals you’re sending and I’ve decided you want me to kiss you.” I politely told him that he was mistaken. When he took me home that night I realized I’d forgotten my keys and I didn’t know if my roommate was home. I told him as much but when he dropped me off he didn’t even let me get to the front door to see if I was going to be locked out for the night. He just took off. At the time I took it as social awkwardness, not lunacy. (My bad)
- Melissa coordinated the outing and invited the two guys. She liked the Patrick mentioned, and the sender may have thought I was being too flirty with him. I’m now married to Patrick and Melissa got back together with her ex the next month and got married. Sooo, in retrospect, that might not be what I did to “disgust (him)” either.
- There apparently was a first e-mail, and he ignored me for two weeks when he thought I wasn’t responding. I didn’t even know he was ignoring me until Melissa informed me.
- He did not stay true to the Sunday deadline. Of course, I was not going to dignify the e-mail with even the slightest response, so he called me a few days later to find out if I was going to reply. I politely said, “no” and he informed me that he was calling before Sunday to find out because he didn’t want to wait until then and then have to “Yell at (me) at church.” How considerate. I told him that he was never getting a response and hung-up.
- He completely ignored me for the next few years when I saw him occasionally, and has since moved out of state.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: +2
#78
Mishee
WHOA! Time to get some lithium or something in this boy!!
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:33 am rating: 0
#79
Goldie
I think I have an explanation.
A lot of people I know went to Ohio State.
They like to talk about the good old college days, but it seems that they cannot recall ever being sober.
I say the guy had been so drunk for so long that he started having paranoid delusions and other various imacinations of mind. Hence the weird email.
I’m seriously reconsidering sending my kids there right now…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:35 am rating: 0
#80
lauralaiwc
my god. someone indeed has some issues. i think passing out the email at work to other was a bit crappy, but this guy needs therapy.
also sounds like a control freak extraordinair. makes me wonder what his life backstory is. please dont tell me, ill have more fun making one up instead
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:36 am rating: 0
#81
Kristi
I just have to throw in my great appreciation of the “hugs from Jesus” comments. Good show!
Mishee, if you’d taken the time to READ all the comments, you would have seen that they’d worked out the “osu” identity already ;P
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: 0
#82
the sos
suspense/thriller movie. wow. that’s all i got.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:43 am rating: 0
#83
Mishee
now Kristi, I have always been a staunch supporter of you and your copy paper storage issues, so don’t turn on me yet! I saw that someone said it was Ohio State, but they didn’t sound too sure… if you know me at all, I will put my 2 cents in come Hell or High Water!!
It’s all fun though…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: 0
#84
claw71
I have to say that the recipient of this email is clearly the antagonist in this saga. I didn’t believe that until she clarified.
1. Ladies, when in college you must know that the simple act of speaking to a guy means that you want to have sex with him.
2. The Thurman is a well-known meat market (as evidenced by their Thurman Burger) the women who go there are all sluts. You should have gone up High street to Patrick J’s.
3. Good girls don’t go to Ohio State. In fact, the admissions office carefully screens female applicants to make sure they will put out regularly. This helps in recruiting football players.
It’s clear that our wrath has been misdirected. The recipient of this email simply refused to hold up her end of the bargain.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: 0
#85
Andy
Anna-banana: There is a movie called “High Noon”, stars Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly. Some people call it the first adult (no, not THAT kind of adult) Western.
And yes, they sho0t it out at high noon, as the train gets into town with the bad guys at that fateful time.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: 0
#86
recipient
claw71-
Alright, you got me. I was indeed sending the wrong signals. However, I believe this happened around the time that Patrick J’s was hit by that firetruck. If we’d gone there instead we could have died in each other’s arms like Romeo and Juliet…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:49 am rating: 0
#87
Iris
I absolutely cannot believe a college student wrote this. Everything about it screams 13-year-old-girl.
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:50 am rating: 0
#88
Mishee
Perhaps a child prodigy Iris? Like Doogie? That’s a possibility I guess… makes it less scary sounding if it was though – then at least puberty not setting in yet gives then writer somewhat of an excuse…
Sep 6, 2007 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#89
GhostWriter
Dear recipient,
You must contact Crazy Eyes, so we can hearhis side of the story. I just love the image of him calling you later…
Crazy Eyes: “So – did you get my email this time?
recipient: “Yes. Yes I did.
Crazy Eyes: “Hold that thought- I’m thinking…”
(fast forward ten mintues)
Crazy Eyes: “Are you still there?”
recipient: “Yes”
Crazy Eyes: “So. Are you going to reply to it?”
recipient: “No”
Crazy Eyes: “Hold that thought- I’m thinking again…”
(fast forward 15 minutes)
Crazy Eyes: “You still there?”
recipient: “Yes”
Crazy Eyes: “I’ve decided that you must want me to yell at you in church.”
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:07 pm rating: 0
#90
Katzndogz
Ha! I was right, at least about the drinking thing. It is a very common dividing line with Christians – those that believe it is okay to drink in moderation and those that think there should be no drinking at all.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#91
claw71
In all seriousness, I’m glad that this didn’t get nasty for you. Every college has its share of repressed freaks but Ohio State has an average enrollment that rivals the population of a small city. Between budding serial killers enrolled in classes and the wild-eyed crack dealers waiting in the dark alleys (Chittenden Ave) it’s a wonder so many make it to graduation.
To those of you thinking “man, my kid isn’t going there” it’s not exactly downtown Detroit but it does help to make sure your darling gets a little lesson in urban survival before attending any major university.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: +1
#92
Oveta
I’d be pissed if I worked with this girl and she didn’t forward me the email.
Team Recipient
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
#93
Jessica
Yeah, I totally thought this was a female, given that, “If you don’t know what you did I’m not going to tell you” riff (and, I am a female – who has never played that shit ).
An the church line was classic – I was not surprised by that little nugget.
OK, and now that I have read the recipient’s response, I have to laugh – I completely guessed that this was about alcohol in some way, and his distaste for it.
Given the 13-year-old girl nature of the letter, the church aspect, and the general social nuttiness, I am going to say:
closeted homosexual fundamentalist Christian with Asperger’s.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:21 pm rating: +2
#94
lauralaiwc
even if this person thinks its wrong to drink alchohol they need to lighten up, not eberyone (clearly) agrees.
and i stand by my statement that it was a bit cruddy to publically pass this around, unless crazy eyes worked there still and was harassing others. otherwise, it is a bit imature. sharing it between a friend, ok. but an entire office? unnecessary. and based on what “recepient” said, they did not work together, so it was rather midle-schoolish to do that.
not saying that he wasnt psycho. just saying it wasnt needed.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: +1
#95
mere
i’d like to see him hold this grudge until he dies.
team: not kidding either.
thanks terry!
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#96
Anna-banana
Thanks for clearing that up, Andy.
I remember that movie. Saw it years ago.
Grace Kelly was hot!
And so was Gary Cooper!
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: 0
#97
claw71
You know Jesus turned water into wine so I think he’d be OK with knocking back a cold one every now and then. Of course I argued with a guy who told me that when they talked about wine back then they were referring to grape juice. He tried to tell me that they didn’t know how to ferment juice in “biblical times”.
The reality is that grapes rot quickly and converting the juice to wine was the best way to perserve it. Clean water was scarce back then so wine was the most common beverage. Think pop.
Sorry soda drinkers, but here in Ohio we drink pop and it’s f-ing delicious.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: +1
#98
Anna-banana
#93-Jessica: You sound like you are reading from Sen. Larry Craig’s personal bio
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:35 pm rating: 0
#99
Anna-banana
Are you?
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:36 pm rating: 0
#100
recipient
I’m not quite sure how everyone is okay with the fact that it was posted on a website, but the fact that I showed it to everyone in my office (5 people) more than 5 years after the fact is not.
They don’t know this person (other than the one who knew him personally and could testify that he was a little off). They don’t even know his name. If you’ll notice from the e-mail, he took it upon himself to change the “sender” line to “n” so that I almost deleted it when I received it.
So, when an office full of all girls and one guy start talking about crazy dates they had in the past, and I have the craziest e-mail of all, I think it is a “non-crappy” thing to do to print it out and show it off.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:37 pm rating: +1
#101
Mishee
I would’ve either printed it or forwarded to everyone in my office too recipient! It’s all good!
Team Recipient and Team Mishee!
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:39 pm rating: 0
#102
Mishee
oops, I forgot a comma there… Here ya go! “,”
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
#103
mere
recipient: it’s all good. i would probably keep an email like this for many years.
and there’s REALLY crazy!
and for several reasons.
one of which being: when this dude snaps (and he WILL snap), you can tell the police ‘ oh hell yeah i knew he was crazy! look at this email!’
second: it gave us all a good laugh. there’s mishee crazy(teasin’ mishee!)
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:46 pm rating: 0
#104
Zsa
Hey– not everyone thinks it was bad to pass it around. I’d have it hanging on my wall as proof that I NEVER want to be single again. And give it to all my friends, co-workers and anyone else in the dating scene. What is the phrase? “If you cant be a good example, then be a dire warning”
GREAT bad date story- even my internet dating fiasco in Alaska cant beat this.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:54 pm rating: 0
#105
Spreggels
lauralaiwc, if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of sharing personal correspondence with a wide audience, perhaps you shouldn’t be on a website dedicated to that practice. Just a thought.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:54 pm rating: 0
#106
Black Bellamy
recipient wrote: I’m not quite sure how everyone is okay with the fact that it was posted on a website, but the fact that I showed it to everyone in my office (5 people) more than 5 years after the fact is not.
——————————————————–
That’s just something you shouldn’t worry about. There’s a lot of really immature people out there who have no idea that the primary function of the internet is public shaming. And public shaming is how humanity keeps the rogue elements in line. So you’re just doing your job.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:57 pm rating: 0
#107
claw71
I don’t think it’s a untoward to publish this email on line. We learn at a very early age to think before we speak and that goes double for writing. In this case the freak had a golden opportunity to redact his original line of thinking and either let it go or send a thoughtful message that wouldn’t reflect so badly on him.
Once you hit that send button that message is no longer yours. It becomes the property of the person who receives it whether that recipient was intended or not. That’s why those privacy disclaimers at the end of business e-mails are so stupid. If it’s in my inbox I own it and can do whatever I want to do with it.
Sep 6, 2007 at 12:59 pm rating: 0
#108
claw71
I was going to vote to kick Lauralaiwc off the island but then I linked to her Myspace page and decided she’s just too damned cute. Let’s just say my meat is no longer Kobe grade. I need another massage.
Maybe Lauralai has sent a few wild messages in her day and fears she might be the subject of public ridicule.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:05 pm rating: 0
#109
Mishee
mere, in response to “Mishee Crazy” – my husband calls me “Sybil” – why in the world would he do something like that?!?
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:10 pm rating: 0
#110
Nowai
What a homo.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:30 pm rating: 0
#111
Fraulein N
I think it’s precious that he thought they were going to a bar but weren’t going to drink. That’s why I don’t mess with people with Crazy Eyes; it’s usually a very good warning sign.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:32 pm rating: +1
#112
lauralaiwc
playing devils advocate = fun.
i was just surprised no one else said anything first, seeing as how most of the people on this site look for that sort of thing to jump on.
if said recipient truly left it anonymous, then i dont blame her, its a freaky story.
and claw71, you make me lol a lot
and, as far as grapes go, i think it was safer to drink wine than it was water in many circumstances.
thanks for keepin me on the island
and to everyone else, lighten up, because you are all doing the same thing you are advising me to NOT do. so make up your mind
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:32 pm rating: 0
#113
Mailer Daemon
I ate the letter.
It was fucking delicious!
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:34 pm rating: 0
#114
Dave9
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Jerry Lewis!
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: 0
#115
lauralaiwc
lmao. ok, so what old posting do i have to hunt down for th fucking delicios thing to make sense?
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:37 pm rating: 0
#116
Anna-banana
Claw: I think you & lauralai would be a good couple.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:52 pm rating: 0
#117
Mishee
lauralai – it’s something about Outback bread. I couldn’t tell you which post exactly though.
Sep 6, 2007 at 1:54 pm rating: 0
#118
claw71
I think Jason Lee might name his next kid Mailer Daemon. To be honest I think it’s much cooler than Pilot Inspektor.
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:02 pm rating: 0
#119
butterfly
Maybe I’m missing something — but why hold onto the email for 5 years “wondering” what was done to offend the guy — how about…ummm…I don’t know…ASKING the nut? I mean, at least you would know — and then, resume not being friends with the nut…
;p
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:29 pm rating: 0
#120
Bob Loblaw
Freaking Buckeyes.
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:30 pm rating: 0
#121
Dennis
OMFG! This oozes Catholic mother guilt: “Go to your room and think about what you’ve done.”
THIS is classic!
Thank you Terry
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
#122
Sair
Recipient – I LOVE (bold, italics) it when a poster replies to all our inane ramblings and clarifies/provides background – it makes me feel all warm and cuddly… And I don’t think it was a bad thing to show it to your workmates – hell, I’d have been sharing it with the world from the very moment the loonbag sent it!
Can’t STAND it when people do that ‘if you don’t know what you’ve done I’m not going to tell you’ crap – grow the fuck up and just tell me you nob (another good British put down just especially for you, Mishee).
And my new most favourite put down of the day thanks to Stephanie – ‘bat shit crazy’… Just off to call my boyfriend that and see what happens…
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: +1
#123
Mishee
Funny thing is Sair that some American put downs just don’t sound as harsh with a British accent… you guys are just too proper and refined… that’s why you say things like, “nob” and “cow” and “bangers and mash”…
I don’t know, I guess I just can’t explain it…
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#124
recipient
I now wish I had asked him what the issue was, but I’d already dealt once with a “You figure out why I’m mad at you and then apologize” person and wasn’t going to “play that game” again.
I obviously had a lot of guesses, but I don’t think the drinking thing was it. The other two drank and they didn’t get nasty e-mails. Melissa even ate a foot long hot dog in three bites to win a $20 bet from Patrick and she wasn’t shunned. I figured if anything was going to piss him off, that kind of thing would. Crazy drunks, gambling and sexual undertones.
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#125
merenick
Italics, bolded, underlined, mixed fonts and type sizes…
…oh the humanity!
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:50 pm rating: 0
#126
Mishee
recipient – maybe it was the fact that you were doing all of those things yet still going to church. possibly he has no problem with people who do that, as long as they don’t commit hipocrisy and go to the “Lord’s House” every Sunday and worship Him. Damn Sinners!!
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:53 pm rating: 0
#127
Mishee
oh, and does Melissa offer lessons on the hot dog trick??
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:54 pm rating: 0
#128
CA Girl
I for one would like to know what an “imachination” is…
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:55 pm rating: 0
#129
Sair
Oh definitely Mishee and it works both ways – always sounds weird/stoopid when Americans try to say ‘bollocks’ or ‘twat’ (no offence!). Aahh, the great divide, cultural melting pot, life’s rich tapestry and all that kinda thing – must admit it’s usually the (very obviously) ‘merican posts and comments that make me LMAO the most…
Recipient, I’m so glad you didn’t lower yourself to the crazy idiot’s level and play his game – he so obviously WANTED you to go to him asking what you’d done wrong – I’ll bet he had a whole big speech all worked out ready for when you did. Spent hours in front of the mirror practising – probably even wrote it all down so he wouldn’t forget any important points. Now THAT’S a PAN I’d love to see! Ghostwrite, care to give it a shot for us?
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:55 pm rating: 0
#130
Sair
Oops sorry, did you out of an ‘r’ there Ghostwriter – I think it went off to join Jes’ spare ’s’ on vacation – I’d like to picture them relaxing by a lake somewhere, sipping Pina Coladas…
Sep 6, 2007 at 2:57 pm rating: 0
#131
Nanna
I think we can all agree the guy is a nutjob. He probably was attracted to her, and she flirted with someone else, while drinking, which he didn’t approve of. Then, because he is bonkers, he flew off the handle.
And as far as that first email? Every single email I have missent has been returned to me right away. Is he that crazy that he didn’t see it, or too ignorant to know that meant the email never got to her?
An then, to send her another one, self-righteously high-handed in nature, demanding apology from someone he barely knew?
BONKERS.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
#132
claw71
Recipient:
Why would you bother pressing him for a reason?
Let’s assume for the sake of argument that you were a horrible tease in college. Maybe you had a crush on Patrick and hoped to make him jealous by hitting on Mr. Fonts. In that situation most guys would settle on calling you a slut or a lesbian and moving on. A guy tries to hit it and if he can’t he says he did anyway. Simple, right? And women expect us to do this. Maybe, if you really were exceptionally cruel, he would have been entitled to spreading a rumor about your femine hygiene(crabs) but there’s nothing you could have done that mitigates this unsettling response. Guys are supposed to act like children, not serial killers.
I really wish you would submit this guy’s name so we can revoke his manhood status. No self-respecting man plays the “guess-what-you-did” game and when we’re gilted we never offer ongoing friendship.
n: in the future, just write “whore” on her windshield and move on.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:06 pm rating: 0
#133
Mishee
Claw I don’t quite know what we would do without you or what we did before you joined the group of regulars. You are a riot!
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:11 pm rating: 0
#134
Sair
Guys, I’ve just re-read the original note and spotted this gem:
“…it would be wise to contact me in some way and reveal to me the inner imacinations of your mind”
Ok, apart from the fact that he’s just making words up there (which we’ve already covered – prick), I think this guy actually thinks he’s some kind of Jedi. “To contact me in some ways wise it would be.”
It would be wise to contact me?!!! You ARSEHOLE!!! Grrr, I’ve never got so riled up about a PAN before – this one really has hit the ‘make Sair furious’ spot. Smug, self-aggrandising, smarmy, immature wanker. I hope he’s locked up in chokey (translation: jail/pen/juvey) for the stalker behaviour which he’s no doubt subjected some other poor woman to – I’ll bet he picked on a more passive victim the next time…
Team lock n up where he belongs and let him feel some big hairy man love.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:20 pm rating: 0
#135
Mr DeBakey
Melissa ate a foot-long hot dog in 20 seconds?
Thats very interesting.
Do you have her number?
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:21 pm rating: 0
#136
Mishee
Ahh!! Another one of my favorites Sair – “wanker”… You are totally awesome!
Mr. DeBakey – not only did she eat that hot dog in 20 seconds, but apparently in only 3 bites… that’s the part that intrigues me and makes me wish I could get some pointers from Melissa…
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:28 pm rating: 0
#137
phunkyd
I grew up in Ohio and went to a very right wing church as a child (think “Flashdance” or “Jesus Camp” without the speaking in tongues thing) before growing up and realizing it was all hooey.
But we were told in church that the “wine” jesus made was just grape juice. When you’re a fundamentalist, you can make any word mean anything that fits your world view! Then, you know, I read a dictionary.
Team jesus hugs for all!
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:30 pm rating: +1
#138
Sair
Shucks, thanks Mishee *hands in pockets, hanging head, shuffling feet, embarrassed grin*
Oh, and “you guys are just too proper and refined” – hmm, think you should probably hang around pretty much any British city centre on a Friday/Saturday night and witness the drunken brawls and screaming sluts before you make that judgment…
Hang on just a minute – heeeey, I bet n would LOVE it, drunken brawls and screaming sluts sound just up his alley!
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:35 pm rating: 0
#139
Amanda
Wow claw! Thanks for clarifying that I’m an idiot! I think actually GVI’s assumption about me was slightly more correct, in that assumptions are all we can make around here unless otherwise clarified. As someone who has heard variations of “by church on Sunday” used as an expression for “Sunday morning,” no amount of your travels around Ohio and the Bible belt would have convinced me that I am a blithering idiot for making that interpretation right away.
And no, I’m not Christian, and I don’t hang around Bible-thumpers who would zestfully use that phrase literally. But since this is the internet, and since we’re are subject to your off-base assumptions about people you’ve never met, just be aware that I’ll be the one sitting here laughing the more that you make incorrect guesses about me.
xoxo!
p.s. Church was fucking delicious.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:38 pm rating: 0
#140
Mishee
I do admit I love me some drunken brawls and screaming sluts, but I believe I mis-typed when I said that you guys are all proper and refined… I meant to say that you guys SOUND too proper and refined… I meant nothing about the way you act!!
At least I know I probably would feel at home going to visit across the pond… Maybe one day….
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:39 pm rating: 0
#141
Mishee
All this church talk is making me uncomfortable… I am so glad I grew up in and live in a Hell Bound part of the country. I am pretty sure that most if not ALL of the people in this metropolis I call home are going to Hell in a Handbasket.
None of that pesky “worrying about what God thinks” – we just do what we want! No judgment!
And no, I don’t think the rash of deadly wildfires in the Bay Area have anything to do with our athiest (or in my case, agnostic) tendencies…
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:46 pm rating: 0
#142
Kristi
recipient: the question we’re all dying to have answered: Is there an “n” in his real name, or does “n” just stand for ‘NUT’?
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:49 pm rating: 0
#143
Kristi
oh, and Mishee, I was just teasing! I have appreciated your copy paper support, believe me
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:49 pm rating: 0
#144
Nanna
The “n” must stand for nut.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:52 pm rating: 0
#145
Mishee
wow Kristi and Nanna – jinx!
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:56 pm rating: 0
#146
Andy
#116: lauralaiwc — see this post for the fucking delicious Outback callback.
It’s now a game who can say it first, in the best context. It’s a game we all win, in my opinion.
Sep 6, 2007 at 3:56 pm rating: 0
#147
Anna-banana
#135-SAIR:
The Jedi way: “To contact me in some ways wise it would be.â€
Hits the nail on the head! Or hits “n” on the head. Or messes with his head…which IS WHAT HE’S AFTER IN THE 1ST PLACE!!!!
He’s trying to get in her pants. He wanted her to contact him because he wanted contact.
Get it? Got it? Good….
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:12 pm rating: 0
#148
GhostWriter
By his/her Satanic Majesty’s Request:
My Dear recipient,
I received, with great interest, your note of yesterday, which consisted of the single line, “OK, I’ll bite- What’s up your ass?†My hands are literally trembling as I fumble through a stack of note cards, drawn up just for this occasion. I assume that you are asking about that fateful evening we were paired as a couple, and when it was over, the various tranaggrations you committed that separated us for the past five years.
I do now wonder how you held your curiosity about this enigmantrical situation in check so long? Did you think often about me and our last perfect evening together? Have you had any trouble relating to others as a result of our sad obnioxity? Not that I have; I have been over this for quite some time now, but I thought you might…
In any case, is neither my place not interest to guide you in your penance. Follow your own path- realize your own shortcomings that drove you to act so disgustingly (and of course, apologize.) Know that this is not for my benefit at all- I did not even remember where my note cards were laid until I saw your note and looked for them.
If you really intend for us to get together and address this issue over a glass of wine or something, please send me your home address and phone number, and I will arrange to give you one last chance at your own redemption. But this is a one-time offer, and I am not kidding.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:12 pm rating: +1
#149
Nanna
That jinx was fucking delicious.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:12 pm rating: 0
#150
Team Cassandra
ha!
When I was MUCH younger, 3 friends and I went to a movie and spiked our pop with vodka. Needless to say we got pretty rowdy (the theatre was mostly empty and we were up in the front which didn’t help).
At the end a woman stood up and shouted:
“I can’t *believe* the *OBNIOXITY* of you people”
to which we replied:”BWAHAHAHAHA! OBNIOXITY!!!BWAHAHAHAA!”
I never knew how to spell it until now. (see #149)
ps: yes, yes we were very obnoxious. sorry.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:22 pm rating: +1
#151
Anna-banana
I’m submitting this to Pulitzer, GW. Your prize awaits you!
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:24 pm rating: 0
#152
recipient
The updated e-mail was priceless – font changes and all. Though I doubt he’d offer me wine.
No, no “n” in his name. Just check off another part of the freakshow. He took the time to change that before sending. I’d received other e-mails from him and they all had his real name. Maybe he thought I was cowering in a corner with shame over what I’d done to him and wouldn’t open the e-mail if I knew it was from him.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:26 pm rating: 0
#153
Anna-banana
Recipient….what you just described ‘n’ doing, changing his name so that you’d read it & not hit delete is perfectly pure P-A.
Love it!
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:29 pm rating: 0
#154
claw71
I think the “n” is short for “now I’ve got you”..which is what he planned on saying once this email coaxed our unsuspected recipient back to his lair.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:42 pm rating: 0
#155
claw71
Amanda: I only meant “idiot” in the most affectionate way. In Ohio that’s how we greet the people we love. My parents called me idiot all the time.
Sep 6, 2007 at 4:52 pm rating: +1
#156
Mishee
#154 Anna – I agree, changing his name to “N” is the equivelent of the same thing I do to my hubby when we are fighting, when I call him I use *67 to block my number so he doesn’t know it’s me! Same damn thing!!
So, recipient, why won’t you at least tell us his first name so we can make fun of it? It’s great!
Sep 6, 2007 at 5:03 pm rating: 0
#157
GVI
Man i still cannot believe that you are married.
Sep 6, 2007 at 5:14 pm rating: 0
#158
Zsa
OMG Mishee, I never thought of that!! (#157) LMAO Although I’m usually the one not answering the phone cause I’m pissed. Anna~ dont tell my hubby~
Sep 6, 2007 at 5:24 pm rating: 0
#159
Mishee
GVI, believe me after it taking almost 8 years to bag the sumbitch I can’t believe it half the time myself! Then I look at him and want to smother him with a pillow and it all comes rushing back…
But eloping is TOTALLY the way to go!! No money issues, no dress issues, no PEOPLE issues! Just don’t do it on St. Patty’s Day in Reno – gets a LITTLE crazy there when everyone tries to drink like an Irishman!!
Sep 6, 2007 at 5:28 pm rating: 0
#160
Nanna
No way I’m eloping! It took 6 years to finally break mine and I am going to make damn sure I get a wedding I will actually enjoy!
Sep 6, 2007 at 6:07 pm rating: 0
#161
the sos
claw: is that idiot like, “Jane, you ignorant slut.”?
Sep 6, 2007 at 6:13 pm rating: 0
#162
Mishee
Hey, I never said I didn’t enjoy it… you know me, drunken brawls and screaming sluts, all day every day! It was fun without all of the distraction of actually having to deal with my family and his family (that’s a nightmare right there, they are like rabbits those people are) and money wise, and the fact that we lived in different states when we actually tied the knot, I didn’t move back home until a month after we married…
Sep 6, 2007 at 6:16 pm rating: 0
#163
Nanna
Yeah his family drives me crazy. Both of us actually. But we would rather get married up here, and have a wedding on the beach or close to it, or in a vineyard (all his ideas, BTW). If he had it his way it would be near a lighthouse on the beach with everyone who could make the trip.
Sep 6, 2007 at 6:36 pm rating: 0
#164
mamason
Just a couple of things… Can someone pls define passive-aggresisive for me? I always thought it was when someone “accidently” stepped on your foot when in reality they were just ticked off. Now I’ve come across this very entertaining site and I realize that some of my own notes to my husband would be considered pan’s. Secondly, the comments concerning Christians remind me of any slack jawed, butt scratching, beer drinking moron spewing forth hate speech about any ethnic group that’s ever been the recipient of organized, government sanctioned bigotry.
Seriously, WWJD?
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:10 pm rating: 0
#165
Mishee
Here is your definition: (thanks http://www.m-w.com!)
passive aggressive:
being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness).
Welcome to the Site! Join a Team and let’s go at it!
(Umm, Jesus would probably just wanna kick back and have some wine and be groovy…)
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:15 pm rating: 0
#166
Amanda
claw, is that kind of like how my girlfriends and I all call each other “sluts?”
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:32 pm rating: 0
#167
Mishee
I miss joobs….
Well everyone, it’s been fun, see you in the morning!!
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:34 pm rating: 0
#168
Anna-banana
Amanda, are you a slut?
Don’t worry ZSA….secret’s safe with me!
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:37 pm rating: 0
#169
Mishee
Sorry for the false hope, I have one more thing to say to Team Cassandra…
If you had been paying attention you wouldn’t have to use the stars you could’ve just said:
“I can’t believe the OBNIOXITY of you peopleâ€
Lovin’ the italics!!
Sep 6, 2007 at 7:40 pm rating: 0
#170
skye
#123 southern colloquialisms for Sair:
crazy as a shithouse rat
throwed slap F***ING left
#165 mamason, I don’t think all of them qualify as hate speeches. Some of us have had to deal with the religious nuts waaay too much. Try being raised by Southern Baptist-no drinking- no smoking-no dancing-no gambling-but it’s ok to smack the shit out of your kids for reading demonic books-type, and see how much patience you have with pulpit pounders. I don’t hate them, I just wish they would leave me alone! Of course, putting a “Pagan and Proud” bumper sticker on my truck probably wasn’t too provocative, was it? (insert big evil grin here)
Oh yeah, the “demonic book” was David Eddings Queen of Sorcery. I was 16. My mom smacked me in the head with the book, tore it into pieces, slapped me across the mouth, and grounded me for a year. See what I mean about religious nuts?
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:30 pm rating: 0
#171
claw71
I think you’re on the right track Amanda.
Um, it might be a little forward of me but when you get to calling each other sluts does it sometimes escalate into a pillow fight? A naked pillow fight?
I’m not Kobe grade anymore.
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:30 pm rating: 0
#172
Anna-banana
More like Angus, know.
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:37 pm rating: 0
#173
Dana
“Hangin’ on like a hair in a biscuit!”
Sep 6, 2007 at 8:46 pm rating: 0
#174
mamason
#166 mishee, thanks. If I must pick a team then I’m on team recipient. I only hope that I am able to reach the heights of humorous response that have been attained by all of the participants here. Y’all crack me up.
#171 skye, ouch! I don’t even know how to respond without totally blowing the whole hilarious vibe here, but- try being raised by total aetheists, constant drinking, always smoking, let’s beat the kids just for kicks types. evil is evil and truth is truth regardless of what any person says. My lies will never negate the truth of God. Religious nuts, aetheist nuts: nuts is nuts.
(is this when I thank Terry?)
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:02 pm rating: 0
#175
Anna-banana
#175- you catch on quick! Welcome!
And #173, I meant ‘now’. Oops
Sep 6, 2007 at 9:48 pm rating: 0
#176
Gadget
I think I’m offended by many things in this thread….and I’ll leave it to each of you to figure out why…..
The deadline can remain open.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Clearly the sender is playing somewhere in the barking mad category.
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 0
#177
Team Cassandra
Anna-banana:
I [italics]would[/italics] and I [italics]know[/italics] that I [italics]can[/italics] but I don’t know [italics]how[/italics]!
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:44 pm rating: 0
#178
Anna-banana
#178-you’re ‘too cool’, TC.
And thanks for staying at the Monreal hostel, so we could have the cool pix!
Sep 6, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
#179
joobs
Ack, ack, ack. I have been working too hard the last couple of days.
I had to read all the comments kind of fast to catch up. Hi, Mishee!
The only thing I think I can comment on, is:
It would be a bitch to figure out what time “church on Sunday” is if you’re Catholic. I mean, there’s morning Mass, Lauds, High Mass, Spanish Mass at 3, vespers, 6 pm Mass. Not to mention Saturday night Mass that counts as Sunday. I would have had no idea what my freakin’ deadline was if I wanted to apologize and still be his friend. Not that it would ever happen. I’m for team Keep This Note As Evidence When He Goes Postal Eventually One Day.
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:00 am rating: 0
#180
BoggyWoggy
I loved this site so much before Mishee came along. It’s gotten to the point that the awesome, creative comments about passive-aggressive notes are now like wading through garbage.
C’mon, folks…make a statement that means something…then move on. And for God’s sake…go to http://www.misheevoodoodoll.com and place an order. I’m poking her in the eyes right now!
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:55 am rating: 0
#181
Amanda
Anna-Banana:
Probably. I’ll ask the naked guy next to me what he thinks.
claw:
What bothers me about people referring to naked pillow fights is that they always leave out the massage oil and whipped cream, aka the most important parts.
Sep 7, 2007 at 1:21 am rating: 0
#182
Anna-banana
Amanda’s a cool slut. I want to join your club.
And Hershey’s Chocolate syrup!
Sep 7, 2007 at 8:57 am rating: 0
#183
lauralaiwc
if we are custom-making voodoo dolls, i know of a few individuals who deserve a swift prick (not that kind) in the behind (hahaha).
thanks for the link, andy. it was fucking delicious. not funny. ok.
amanda, at your next pillow fight, start things off with some vodka, then add chocolate syrup to the hilarity (not to the vodka). works for me like a charm every time.
Sep 7, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: 0
#184
lauralaiwc
ok, now i like amanda AND anna-banana.
bananas and chocolate taste good together, too…
Sep 7, 2007 at 11:25 am rating: 0
#185
Team Cassandra
Oops to Anna-Banana: i [italics]thought[/italics] I was replying to you but it was [italics]actually[/italics] Mishee.
But since I did “Hi! – You’re fun to read!”
and…
How do I make italics!?! I want to make crazy stalker notes too!
Sep 7, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#186
Goldie
I am still cracking up at #156.
This is actually true. I call my kids idiots all the time too. It’s an Ohio thing.
Sep 7, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: +1
#187
hillbilly
That boy is crazier than a junebug on crack! I gotta wonder if recipient even noticed his “behavior on the two previous sundays”, or if he’s such a dumbass everyone missed his hissy fit? I do like the changing fonts, just kinda points out the whole crazy thing.
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#188
hillbilly
#59 nah, he didn’t use holy water, he prayed the annointing of the blood of Jesus on that spawn of satan technology!
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#189
lauralaiwc
cassandra:
to make italics do this without the spaces next to the i and to close it, again with no spaces.
bold works the same way, but with a b.
html is fun. but not realy fun. only sometimes.
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
#190
lauralaiwc
wtf? why did it do that? gar.
put an i in there, and to end the italics, put an i after the slash.
man, this comment thing is sensitive!!! and it wont underline at all. sad.
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
#191
lauralaiwc
o
m
g.
forget it. teach yourself. lol.
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:28 pm rating: 0
#192
Anna-banana
Thanks, T.C.
To Boggy…., “Can’t we all just get along?” hahahaha….NOT!!!!
It’s more fun this way!
Hugs for Jesus or as we say in SPaNisH: “Hey-Suess”
Sep 7, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#193
turrboenvy
<i>italic stuff</i>
I’m hoping that’ll work. Team preview! To show the agle brackets in HTML, use < and >. To show the &, use &.
Also, you guys’ imachinations are fucking delicious. I’m a habitual lurker. Must be the Aspergers.
Thanks Terry.
Sep 7, 2007 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
#194
Team Cassandra
icool!i
Sep 7, 2007 at 5:15 pm rating: 0
#195
Team Cassandra
inope/i
Sep 7, 2007 at 5:15 pm rating: 0
#196
gvi
boooo shame on HTML for not working
Sep 8, 2007 at 3:01 pm rating: 0
#197
turrboenvy
If there were a preview, I would have tried first, before suggesting a course of action. Sorry!
Sep 10, 2007 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
#198
GVI
lets offer the PAN God a human sacrifice so we can get a template for our HTML, who shall we sacrifice?
Sep 11, 2007 at 8:17 pm rating: 0
#199
mjb
Haha, OSU. Figures, he is from Ohio.
I agree with Amanda.
Lotta religious haters in here, phew.
Sep 12, 2007 at 2:21 pm rating: 0
#200
jen
this actually reminds me of something my schizophrenic uncle would write.
Sep 18, 2007 at 1:38 am rating: 0
#201
cobalt
I knew off the bat that it was an obsessive crush scolding (had a friend who would take this stance with girls he liked, albeit not quite so crazily). Go life experience.
Recommend to sender that he grow up and indulge his repressed S&M desires. Unlikely that he’d be able to, though.
This is a pretty great site, and is my first time discovering it, if the lateness to the party wasn’t an indicator.
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
#202
xetwa qkwdmtrn
fqbrvhz nwqhizlob hbvm xnvarygiw tbdp kygxz ljpn
Aug 7, 2008 at 6:41 am rating: 0
#203
Tech Guy
I would like to learn more about these imacinations of the mind.
Team I-make-up-words-to-make-my-point-even-more-obscure
Nov 26, 2008 at 11:50 pm rating: 0
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