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Vaguely hostile hostel

September 6th, 2007 · 138 comments

Frequent troublemaker Team Cassandra sends us a dispatch from her trip to old Montreal. The charmant hostel she stayed in had 32 hostelers, two bathrooms, one kitchen, lots of awkward signage, and an overall vibe of, “I’ve said this 10, 000 times and I’m not saying it again.”

ATTENTION ALL WHO AIM TO BOOZE IT UP TONIGHT: Drunks please go elsewhere to party (Montreal has a vast array of clubs and bars: pick one!) because people are trying to sleep after 11 pm. PS Put your empty beer bottles/cans in the recycling.

Thank you for NOT switching dorm beds :)


S.V.P. Veuillez enlever vos chaussures avant de monter. Merci


emptying the bath's drain filter

FILED UNDER: bathroom · bathtub · beer · blitzkrieg approach · Canada · drizzunk · excessive underlining · Francais · Montreal · opening/closing · smiley · transliteration

138 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Anna-banana

    Ooohhh!!! I like the switching of the dorm beds….could that be while people are IN them? That’s a kinky thought. I LOVE it!

    And I love how one sign asks people to drink elsewhere and at the same time ‘please deposit their beer cans into the recycle bin’!

    Team Hypocrisy!

    Sep 6, 2007 at 10:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #2   Anna-banana

    And I forgot to say my PAN prayer before bed: Thank you, Terry!

    Sep 6, 2007 at 10:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #3   Anonymous

    lol I dont understand the switching beds thing… >.> maybe they were having a wrestling match in the hallway and needed padding for the floor??? (then just got too drunk to remember who’s bed went where)

    Sep 6, 2007 at 10:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #4   beguile

    Those notes are the epitome of passive aggressive. Brilliant.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 11:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #5   katy

    thank YOU for keep p-a notes tidy and neat.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 11:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #6   Wry Exchange

    What’s the address? Looks like a lively place to stay. I promise to keep the door closed, clean the drain, and keep the washroom tidy. I can’t promise to stay in my own bed.

    Sep 6, 2007 at 11:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #7   Mr DeBakey

    What about Pas de Fumer?

    Do you have to Pas de Fumer aussi?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   Laurie

    I think I’ve stayed here.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #9   lilyoshee

    pas de fumer would be “no smoking”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   Amanda

    I love the first sign because it reminds me of Mean Girls:
    “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers. ”
    The sign is basically saying, “Don’t drink here! Do it somewhere else! Oh ok if you must, recycle your damn cans.”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #11   Nanna

    I especially like the contradictory nature of the signs posted side by side saying “be welcome” and “keep this door closed.”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   Mike Kushnir

    i think i stayed here once. (it actually wasn’t so bad.)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   Jay

    Ah, the joys of hostel traveling. I remember it well. Actually, these notes look like standard hostel fare: “Don’t leave your luggage unattended,” “Don’t wash your dishes in the (bathroom) sink,” “Checkout is at 10 a.m.” and so on. Zut alors!

    But how about that funky French font and the flower-power stationary? Pas mal, eh?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   WSG

    I guess Anglophones can leave their shoes on upstairs? Not only are they passive-aggressive, they’re discriminatorily so!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   claw71

    Montreal is a passive aggressive city, which is par for the course in Quebec. WSG, feel grateful there was any English offered here. Quebec is defiantly French and sometimes much less accommodating to Anglophiles than France is.

    The sign on the door doesn’t prohibit drinking at all, think about your hostel demographic. Drink, but be respectful of others. It should go without saying but this is a hostel.

    The signs are a bit much. Give people a run down of the rules when they check in and kick them out if they don’t follow them. Too often signs like these are counter productive. I know if I see a patronizing sign reminding me to flush the toilet or to lift the seat before I pee I tend to do exactly the opposite just for spite. People who lack the common courtesy to clean up after themselves aren’t forgetful, they’re inconsiderate and signs only trigger rebellious behavior thus exacerbating the problem.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   Denise

    I think by not switching dorm beds, they mean you get assigned to one, you should sleep in that bed, and you shouldn’t pick another yourself you might like better. That would be a mess when more people check in, and would find their assigned bed occupied. Staff wouldn’t know who was in which bed as well.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 7:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #17   ginger

    it’s a hostel. if you’re gonna stay in one , you kinda need to get used to the idea that there will be lots of folks & they will most likely annoy you !lol
    shame to crack down on the bed swopping fun. lol

    Sep 7, 2007 at 7:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #18   claw71

    They like to keep track of who is in which bed so the killers can find you and dismember your body in the basement.

    Speaking as a killer, I hate when I go to pick up my sexy blond tourist only to find one of those hairy legged Paula Cole fans snoring away in the assigned bed.

    That’s why I left the business and became a political campaign manager for a rather popular female presidential candidate.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 8:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   Anna-banana

    Or a commie vegan Suzanne Vega fan who doesn’t believe in deodorant!

    And to Denise…..of COURSE that’s what it means. But, it’s much more fun thinking the other.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   claw71

    I’ve seen the types who stay in hostels and have to tell you that I wouldn’t want to be doing any bed swapping. I’ll get my crabs the old fashioned way.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   Heather

    Wow, great handwriting on a couple of those. And in French, too. For some odd reason, that helps.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   Fraulein N

    Ew. Like claw71 said, why would you WANT to swap beds in a hostel?

    My favorite is the “Thank YOU for keeping the washroom Tidy and Neat. It’s all, “Yes, YOU. Not you or you. And certainly not the jackass behind you who’s leaving pubes in the shower. They belong in the trash, in case you care not to know.”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   Katzndogz

    According to babelfish, the Veuillez sign says “please remove your shoes before going up.”

    I also like how the “sil vous plait” is shortened to SVP.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   GhostWriter

    Our intrepid traveller returned to the hostel late one night, drunk (IAW sign #1) and in the dark hall, he misread the note as, “Thank You for Switching Dorm Beds!” Assuming that some P/A wench had stolen his bed and then excused it with a note, he slunk into the bed in the next room (which, unknown to him- was currently occupied…)

    …and hilarity ensued!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #25   T-Bone

    Heather, I agree. The messages sound so pleasant in French.

    Merci, Therese!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 9:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #26   ShagNBag

    The best has to be ‘Attention all who aim to booze it up tonight’. That sign speaks to me. But imagine my disappointment when i find out it’s trying to curtail my boozy hostel fun instead of possibly inviting me to a party or somehow contributing to the good times.

    Laissez les bon temps rouler!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 10:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #27   FunnyGal KAT

    Well, at least they were polite. And really, doesn’t everything sound nicer in French? From now on, when I leave nasty notes to my coworkers for eating my sandwich or not replacing the copy paper, I think I’ll do it in French.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 10:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #28   mere

    you don’t NEED shoes if you keep the bathroom tidy… (for some reason, i just grossed myself out right then).

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #29   Mishee

    #20 anna, I kinda miss Boggy myself – although the acid comments have been of late actually just quite mean and over the top. i think i am wearing her down…

    that booze was fucking delicious…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #30   Mishee

    oh and KAT, here is your first translation:

    “Le papier de copie va dans la pièce de copie. ”

    or in English –

    “The copy paper goes in the copy room.”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #31   Juliet

    These notes are totally hostel fare, and timeless. They are all the same: backhandedly bitchy.
    “Please keep the bathroom clean, soyfucker! Bacon is life! Thank you Terry! ”

    I agree with post #29 – in the event I need to write a PAN, I will do it in French.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Mishee

    KAT – I am intrigued by the French P/A notes to coworkers, so I have been hard at work (thank you Here is another one for your impending sandwich note you mentioned…

    “La dinde se gâtait et le fromage commençait à mouler. ”

    “The turkey was going bad and the cheese was starting to mold.”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #33   Mishee

    oops! I forgot to close my parenthesis! Here! “)”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #34   lauralaiwc

    #11, that makes me giggle too :)

    and im with claw, i tend to want to do the exact thing ive been asked to not do, although when i lift the seat to pee, i tend to fall in, which isnt pleasant, and usually means someone places another PAN about getting toilet water on the floor. no fun for anyone.

    ive never been in a hostel, mostly because it sounds too much like hostile, and id rather just avoid that altogether.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #35   Team Cassandra

    yay! the notes! (they really were everywhere and about everything – at least 15 of them on two small floors…)

    claw71: most people in Old Montreal were very accommodating with the French/English thing but I will admit that they seem to like to watch you struggle (ie. if you speak one word of French, they’ll try to get you speak more, no matter how hopeless you sound).

    and yes Mr. Debakey:Il y avait « pas de fumer » mais ils étaient dans la salle de bains seulement, sur les petites plaques ennuyeuses.

    For me the “Attention” sign was the best, too, if only because the rest seem SO polite and that one sounds like its actually talking to a bunch of drunks.

    And it *was* (still can’t figure out those italics) a really nice hostel, overall – its well kept, in an old stone house and kinda like staying with your big sisters (who write the notes) and 31 distant cousins.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #36   claw71

    Don’t rely on folks. You’ll come off looking really stupid.

    Just for giggles translate a phrase from English to French then cut, switch to the French to English translation fucntion and paste your French phrase in. The results are often quite hilarious.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #37   Zsa

    #15… Claw does this mean you are inconsiderate and rebellious? And I hate to tell ya, but simply the fact that you are sleeping in a hostel bed- swapping or no- puts you at risk for those creepy crabs. the no-fun kind of risk.

    LOVE it Juliet! youre my hero

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #38   lauralaiwc

    i find that wrapping onesself in saran wrap can keep those pesky critters out.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #39   Naomi

    Damn me not knowing French! >

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #40   Kuri

    Lulz to Claw71…. “accommodating to Anglophiles” Those guys are hard to accomodate!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #41   WanderingPenguin

    As a transplanted (English-speaking) Montrealer, I would like to offer my 2 cents’ worth – which should be treated more as an explanation and NOT a defence. Remember, my family is “transplanted”. :)

    The reason Quebec is “defiantly French” is quite simply years of taking a back seat to all Anglophones in Canada. We are supposed to be a 100% bilingual country, but if you speak French only, well… just TRY to get around town in, say, Calgary.

    Meanwhile, if you speak ENGLISH only, it has never really been a problem getting around Montreal because at the very least, signs have historically been bilingual. In 1977 Quebec rammed through “Bill 1o1″ which essentially has made it illegal to have outdoor signage in English in Quebec. There have been many amendments and such so that today we have the situation where you are now allowed to have English on an “outside” sign… provided the French on it is in letters AT LEAST TWICE AS BIG. Seriously. They go around and measure this.

    But back to my earlier point: I am not really sure I agree that Montreal is a “passive-aggressive city” so much as it is simply militant about its heritage. I have never had any trouble speaking English anywhere in the city (I have a limited French vocabulary) and in fact, only really find myself in “hot water” when I attempt to speak in broken French. Even then, I would describe the reactions as “downright rude” and definitely not “P/A”. Probably close to what you would experience if you walked through Boston with a Yankees’ cap on. Although likely without the gang beatings. :)

    Also, just to clarify the “No Smoking” translation: “Pas de fumer” is genrally used to mean “NON-Smoking” (like the choice you used to have on an airplane, for example). “NO Smoking” is normally written as “Defense de fumer” in “La belle province”. And “SVP” is a pretty standard abbreviation for “Please” in Quebec. It wasn’t a cutesy turn-of-phrase in just this case.

    Otherwise, though, I particularly enjoyed the editing of the “Soyez Bienvenus” sign and wonder if it was done after-the-fact by some tourist from France? Let me assure you: Parisian French is about as close to Montreal French as New York English is to New Orleans English. Or, um…Newfoundland English. ;)

    L’equipe police de grammaire!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #42   hillbilly

    I guess the door stays closed to hide all the drunken bed switching?
    I really like the changing colors on the washroom sign. And aren’t tidy and neat the same?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #43   WanderingPenguin

    Wow….I had no idea I was that verbose. Mea maxima culpa. :(

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #44   claw71

    Ha. Anglophiles. Just caught that but still rather appropriate and they aren’t hard to accomodate at all, just annoying as all hell.

    And I would love to see Lauralai wrapped in Saran wrap. I just went from Kobe grade to jerky reading that. Can you say priapism?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #45   lauralaiwc

    phonetically, yes :)

    haha. colored saran wrap is fun. but i didnt post those modeling pics on my myspace.

    on the forbidding english to be on signage, wtf to people get so mad about america and the english language then? if i moved to any other country, 1. i wouldnt expect to see signs in english, and 2. i would learn the fucking language of the damn country. if you move here, learn it!

    rant closed.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #46   anglophile

    #42 Kuri: Quote: Lulz to Claw71…. “accommodating to Anglophiles” Those guys are hard to accomodate!

    Not all of us! Personally, I don’t care if Mishee calls herself Mishee or Mrs. Bender. I’m an easy-come-easy-go kind of anglophile/anglophone.

    Wandering Penguin: Verbosity is a virtue, because it always ignites further verbose commenting by complainers that the comments are too verbose. It’s the Circle of (pan)Life.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #47   WanderingPenguin

    Lauralaiwc, I think I agree with you… not 100% sure who you are ranting at, though. ;)

    I wanted to mention that the forbidding of English on outdoor signs was SO reprehensible that Amnesty International even got involved. They can claim a huge chunk of the credit for having that law, if not overturned then at least amended. How 3rd-world is THAT?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #48   claw71

    Hey Penguin! Try getting around Calgary speaking only English. Those inbred yahoos have their own secret language…Morlock, I believe. Alberta is scary and before you yetis in Vancouver chime in let’s just state for the record that there is nothing British about British Columbia.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #49   WanderingPenguin

    Hee hee – thanks, anglophile. I look forward to that!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #50   WanderingPenguin

    Y’know, claw, I never thought of that way. Excellent point. As we transplanted Quebecois say, “Touche!”. (Or is that universal now?)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #51   WanderingPenguin

    “…thought of IT that way…”. :( Grammar police, indeed.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #52   lauralaiwc

    no rant against anyone, just in general. im a texan, and we do get alot of illegal imigrations down here, so its a sensitive topic for me that people come over here, suck up my tax dollars and then demand that we learn spanish and have spanish signs everywhere. i worked in a mall and people would get PISSED when they discovered i didnt speak their language. im sorry, i know the one my country speaks, thats all i need.

    if you are truly getting over here to earn a better life for yourself, start by learning the language. im just tired of powdering everyone elses ass, and then they are merely unapreicative and demand more. we need to grow a pair and say “stfu”.

    i get it being neccessry for tourism, however. i was in tokyo for a month and let me tell you, it was a HUGE releif to see english on street signs and bathroom signs (ESPECIALLY on the bathroom signs).

    look at that, more ranting! lol! i havent had breakfast, maybe im just cranky :) someone bring me some saran-wrapped outback bread, stat!!!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #53   lauralaiwc

    that rant was fucking delicious.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #54   Anna-banana

    Lauralai…you are starting to sound a little like Mishee. Are you Mishee, too?

    Claw…what type of claw are you? Freddie Kruegeresque or more of a babirusa?

    And WPenguin…I love penguins, especially macaroni, rockhoppers, & gentoos….what type are you?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #55   WanderingPenguin

    I understand EXACTLY what you mean now, lauralai. And FTR, I think Quebec was shooting itself in the foot because a huge amount of its provincial income comes from tourism.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #56   WanderingPenguin

    First thing in the morning – macaroni. (Before I get perverted letters – BECAUSE OF THE HAIR. On my HEAD. Sigh…that’s likely not better, is it?)

    Once I grab a shower – emperor.

    After the second (and subsequent cups of) coffee – rockhopper.

    As the coffee wears off – gentoo.

    A lot of inbreeding in my family. Maybe we lived in Calgary? Hmmm…..

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #57   claw71

    You know, Lauralai, we have that same problem in Ohio…with Texans. They come up here with their “don’t mess with Texas” stickers and their cowboy hats and then get mad because we don’t speak redneckian. It’s such a pain. Then after they leave we’re stuck for the next three months trying to get the smell out. Oh, I’m sorry those aren’t Texans at all… just the trash from Cincy. You know that would be a much nicer town if they actually had a few “queens” in the Queen City. How has San Francisco not stolen that moniker from Cincinnati?

    Wandering Penguin: Touche? Is that anything like douche?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #58   lauralaiwc

    lol @ claw. those types of texans get under my crawl too. most of the people in this city arent like that at all. most of them dont even speak english ;)

    but i will say that when i moved here, i really expected to see tumbleweeds and ten gallon hats everywhere. and people riding horses all over creation. imagine my disapointment. i have seen one tumbleweed though and plenty of cayotes.

    nope, not mishee; i have my own brand of whatever you want to call what this is.

    the chinstraps and rockhoppers are my favorite!!!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 12:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #59   Team Cassandra

    The cool thing about is you can get the accents happening…

    and thank you! Wandering Penguin…I [italics]knew[/italics] ‘pas de fumer’ wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t figure out what was… gave me ‘aucuns fumer’

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #60   claw71


    I’m more of the chronic type of claw. It started off as a cruel nickname I got in school. For years I was bitter about it but as I got older and started to adapt I took that taunt away from people and embraced it as part of my identity.

    It’s been a real struggle, sometimes I still feel like a freak, but I press on and fight the good fight when people mock me, I work even harder to show them that I’m not only equal to them, I’m better. I’ve parlayed my apparent misfortune into a tidy income.

    The hardest part for me is finding love. I’m a really good looking guy and most people seem to like my personality but it’s so hard getting women to look past the claw and love me for who I am. I’m sure the right person is out there, a beautiful woman who loves me for me and doesn’t look at my claw in disgust, or at my money with lust, but I haven’t found her yet.

    Of course, part of it might be my own doing. I might subconsciously sabotage relationships because I feel inadequate or maybe I’m terrified that I’ll have children who inherit the same tortuous claw I’ve dealt with all my life.

    Probably not what you were looking for. This was more dramatic than I should post but amidst all of the jokes and banter I have come to adore each of you and believe that you should know who I am and what makes me tick.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #61   GhostWriter

    Lauralaiwc, while delightful in her own way, is but a pale comparison to Mishee- the lack of bold and italics is a clear discriminator.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #62   claw71

    As Master Thespian used to say: Acting!

    Part of the story is true, I did get the nickname in school but it was thanks to my use of an illegal wrestling move I employed during my freshman year. Everything is in good working order.

    You hear that Lauralai (and Joobs)? Everything.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #63   WanderingPenguin

    claw: That, erm… physical “feature” must be hell if, as you say, you have trouble “finding love”, spend too much time alone…and forget which hand is which. Ouch. And I missed the accent on “touché”. My bad. Otherwise it’s just another portmanteau word – something like “talk and douche at the same time”, I guess.

    TC – Babelfish gives me “aucun tabagisme”. I think that’s “no tobacco-ingesting”. Not really sure. Sounds pretty revolting, though.

    lauralai – I forgot to bring the chinstraps into it. I guess I’m a chinstrap when I take the short bus to school. ;)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #64   WanderingPenguin

    claw: “Genius!”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #65   Zsa

    Claw WTF? you totally took the steam out of the ranting on foreigners (be they english or spanish) with your rather disturbing “acting”… and I’m not buying either one because you are (as you say) HUGE and should have no need for an illegal wrestling move. Just sit on ‘em!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #66   Zsa

    and in Oregon… high school wrestling = gay as the day is long. Me thinks you are over-compensating!!!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #67   Mishee

    claw’s little rant about his name and such made me think of Jim Carrey in “Liar, Liar” – “Arrrgghh, it’s the CLAW!

    And GW you are SOOOO right about lauralai’s lack of italics and bolding… there is now only one Mishee… if I decide to adopt another alter ego, I will let everyone know (even if I don’t tell you WHO it is!)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #68   Anna-banana

    You aren’t Claw?

    Oh, wait! You’re married.

    Claw-baby is VERY single. ;)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #69   tweedle

    AW gee, Claw … I’m all busted up over your story (snif!).

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #70   erin

    Naomi, if you’re wishing you knew French so you could read Team Cassandra’s comment to Mr. Debakey, it says: They did have no smoking[signs] but they were only in the bathroom, on the little boring plaques.

    On another note regarding Parisian French vs. Quebecois, my stepfather was visiting Montreal quite a few years ago and asked a waitress for a “serviette.” What he wanted was a napkin, but due to the dialect she thought he was asking for a sanitary napkin LOL. Needless to say that created an uncomfortable rest of the meal….

    Sep 7, 2007 at 1:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #71   claw71

    Zsa, from what I’ve heard just about everything in Oregon is gay and when I said I was HUGE, I meant it in a metaphorical sense.

    Seriously, everybody, although my melodramatic post was in jest I really do adore each and every one of you. Your online comradery gets me through the days and my lonely nights are easier to survive because I know I’ll find you here everyday. I once was lost, but you light up my life and know I’m found. You give me hope to carry on. How sweet the sound.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #72   WanderingPenguin

    Wow, claw. A portmanteau SONG lyric. Very impressive indeed!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #73   claw71


    You’d be surpised at what I can handle. I got the name claw because I play dirty. That applies to everything I do.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #74   WanderingPenguin

    Erin – that’s too funny – especially since I actually say “serviette” myself (to English-speaking people) specifically to AVOID the confusion with “sanitary napkin”. Very odd, indeed. Maybe I should just say “paper towel” and skip the whole thing…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #75   WanderingPenguin

    How about I just stop saying “indeed”? That might be a good start….

    I wanted to get that in before anyone went, you know, P/A on my ass.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #76   lauralaiwc

    claw, i saw RIGHT through your acting ;) this is what i do for a living. not see through people, acting. i love it. bwahaha. but it DID make for a good read though.

    Ghostwriter, LMAO at the italics thing. dont worry, i dont thikn i want to impersonate Mishee. i have fun just being myself, thanks.

    and depending on said use of a claw, it could mean a fun party….

    dirty minded you. i meant the claw machine. you know, the ones where you win a stuffed animal after you put $20 into it because you “almost got it” every turn.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #77   erin

    LOL there you go, WP. Who knew a napkin could cause so much trouble?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #78   lauralaiwc

    i love the diferences in words…napkin to me means napkin, a paper towel is different then a napkin because its on a roll, and around here we just call sanitary napkins “pads”, which means i can call a pad of paper a pad, its a tablet. or just freakin paper.

    so, is it soda, pop, or coke for most of you?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #79   erin

    Around here (central PA), we say soda, although in western PA I think they say pop. When I was in college down south, I knew a girl who once asked for a “coke” in a restaurant, and when they brought her a Coke she couldn’t figure out why and said “but I wanted a SPRITE!”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #80   WanderingPenguin

    Up here, it’s usually “pop”. I had a cousin who moved to upstate New York a long time ago and I recall her laughing herself silly over hearing “I want an orange coke” from the locals.

    My cousin is a bit of a pill. ;)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #81   WanderingPenguin

    “Up here” being Toronto. Just for clarification, you see.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #82   Mishee

    It’s soda where I am at… over here, we are the ones that say it right… (over here being the Silicon Valley)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #83   Anna-banana

    #79 WP…no chance of that, now. Boggy’s not here.

    OMG…I’m going on & on! I’m starting to annoy myself with all of my postings. I can only wonder…if I am annoying myself, I can only imagine how annoying I must be to ya’ll.

    Mishee, do you concur? hee hee

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #84   Nanna

    For me it’s soda. My fiance is from the Midwest, and he insists it’s pop.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #85   WanderingPenguin

    Anna-banana, if YOU have made too many postings, then where does that leave ME?

    Unless that was a P/A slap at the newbie? Hmm.

    Perhaps I shall retire forthwith and ponder….tail between my legs…. whimpering…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #86   Nanna

    I haven’t figured out what it is here in Oregon, but I saw I sign at the State Fair asking people not to bring pop cups into the restroom, so I guess it is pop.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #87   claw71

    I drink pop, militantly. The term soda is a misnomer implying that carbonated water is made with sodium bicarbonate. That makes the term soda antiquated and a little ignorant. Carbonated water is created by introducting carbon dioxide to water and applying pressure. Coincidentally a lot of Jewish and Catholic marriages are created this way.

    In parts of New Egland the term “tonic” is often used but it’s being run out of business by the mob.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #88   Mishee

    claw you never fail to amuse me…

    anna, I concur… but keep it up! I LOVE your postings!! They keep me sane!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #89   WanderingPenguin

    Well, of course there’s a website devoted to the controversy. Too funny!

    Thanks for the acceptance, all. Love this site, love this crowd. Back for more later.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #90   Anna-banana

    Not at you at all, WP! Just having some friendly fun with the Mish, who is constantly accused of being a posting hog.

    This site rocks my world, makes my day, and you do, too, Clawie.

    Cool Jewish/Catholic wedding joke except that you forgot to add in a little guilt. W/O that, it’s a little flat, like my chest.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #91   lauralaiwc

    i generally say “coke” if i want a soda (ignorant? me? pssh. its a colloquialism, let us have it), unless i am at a resturaunt, then i specify…

    i just burne dmy tongue on my lunch…owwwwww….

    but i do try to drikn more water than anything. soda/pop/fizz/tonic/coke dehydrates you…

    tonic? for soda? just dont see it!!!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 2:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #92   lauralaiwc

    LOL! Anna, that was awesome!!! Claw’s joke was already funny, but you made it zing. well done. well done, indeed.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #93   claw71

    When it comes to Jews and Catholics, guilt is a given. I honestly can’t figure out why those two religions just don’t merge and get it over with. Then they could buy out Episcopalians and take a market share from Methodists. I guess that whole messiah thing is a pretty big deal.

    That and then Mel Gibson had to stir up a hornets nest. Well, at least the world knows what happens when you combine an American with an Australian and to never let it happen again.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #94   Zsa

    Dont let Anna fool you… they are real and SPECTACULAR. Better get going… I have a nekkid pillow fight to grocery shop for.

    Oh- soda for me. Grew up in middle-of-nowhere-Illinois and was nodding all thru claw’s “antiquated and a little ignorant” sentence. that shoulda been the town’s motto. Welcome to -name erased to protect the innocent- antiquated and a little ignorant!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #95   GhostWriter

    In Georgia, there are country stores (not whole towns, mind you) where the correct term for any carbonated beverage is a “Fizz”. Hearing a belle drawl the words, “Suthun Fizzz…” can be compared to the siren songs of mermaids.



    BTW, I just made that up.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #96   Anna-banana

    I’ll tell you what happens in…let’s see…let me calculate the months: 3 1/2. My sis is popping out a little Aussie/Yank halfbreed (and I mean halfbreed ’cause of their nationalilities, not some misguided racist thing).

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #97   Anna-banana

    Thanks, Zsa.

    I like the Seinfeld tie-in, too!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #98   Mishee

    How funny about the real and spectacular thing… wasn’t that Teri Hatcher? She is from the town I grew up in.. we went to the same H.S (at different times of course)… just thought I would weigh in on this with my Mishee© Brand of nonsensical fun!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #99   Misheeâ„¢

    I’ve decided not to go with the copyright, but instead I am trademarked…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #100   claw71


    It’s not really the crossbreeding that does it, I fear. Mel was actually born in the US but he moved to Australia at some point during his childhood so he’s the freakish result of the homogenization of two penal colonies.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #101   lauralaiwc

    the word penal grabbed my attention, and then i realized it was nothing to get excited about.

    ive run into eva longoria (surrounded by a mob); im not a fan, nor am i a person who likes to glorify celbrities because they are normal people with a cool job, but i will never like eva longoria. i wouldt want to be mobbed either but your fans are what make you who you are, so at least pretend to be nice. she was so snotty to everyone.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #102   Anna-banana

    Oh, boy. This kid has NO chance!

    They should just leave him with some Borneo pigmies and run for it!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 3:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #103   Andy

    Oh, god. I don’t usually will rant against other posters, but now that people use markup (I used it once for a link) for their text, it’s like a baby monkey figuring out that playing with it’s diddle is fun. So, they diddle and diddle and diddle.

    I wish I was a monkey. *sigh*

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #104   Andy

    And, yes, I realize I put the apostrophe in the wrong spot for “its’”. It’s hard to type with one hand, apparently.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #105   claw71

    Borneo pymies? MMMM. Get in my belly.

    Oh Lauralai, if you only gave me the chance I could give you plenty to get excited about. Penal’s just the beginning.

    And Anna, if you think you like bananas I’d love to introduce you to the plantain. It’s not as sweet but it’s bigger, harder and lasts longer. I know it doesn’t rhyme, but once you’ve tried it you won’t care.

    Sorry, if I’m being lecherous I’ve got to spread it around. Don’t want to bogart the studliness.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #106   Andy

    “I don’t usually will rant”? God help me.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #107   Misheeâ„¢

    and Andy, praytell, why are you only typing with one hand? or do we all really not wanna know the reason??

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #108   Andy

    Refer to above monkey comment. I’m not using text markup, so…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #109   Nanna

    lol @ Mishee’s comment to Andy. BTW guys, I won’t be around as much starting next week. I finally got a job! Woohoo!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #110   the sos

    what the hell are you people talking about? spend a day at work actually working and i miss a lot…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #111   Andy

    the sos: Well, there ya go. Working? Friday? Oy.

    Also, Mishee, use all the markup you want, as far as I’m concerned. My rant is done. :) It’s just all the text shapes and colors and symbols can make me see red — flashbacks to notes former coworkers left for me and my teammates. Whee!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #112   Andy

    Nanna: GFY!

    Hey, that’s not what that meant, you people. That can mean Good For You, as well as the alternate meaning.

    That’s your out if you ever get caught saying that to someone. The more you know.

    But seriously, congrats on the job!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #113   Team Cassandra

    lauralaiwc :

    I live in a pad!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #114   Zsa

    Nanna- it wont take you long to figure out when you can sneak a peek at PAN. It has become my new covert operation- since IT still thinks this site is risky… little do they know…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #115   Nanna

    Not sure I wanna do that at work…It’s a job with the state and I don’t wanna screw it up! But I will still be around! Hell, I have an hour for lunch and I will be working close to home.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #116   Anna-banana

    Be careful Nanna.

    Those OR state people are really the product of the Suzanne Vega vegan fan club of hairy armpitted lesbians who have secretly replaced ‘normal’ people a la Invasion of the Bosy Snatchers. They’ll be keeping a very close eye on you. (Or more likely, your snatch).
    You don’t want to lose THAT job.

    Really though, congrats!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #117   Anna-banana

    #120 -I meant “Body”.

    But, hey. Bosy works, too.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #118   Misheeâ„¢

    Andy #115 – from what I have been told over the course of my life, I can make >A LOT (notice I made it two words!) of people see red; usually in a fairly short amount of time!! :) It’s what I do and I am good at it… to quote Adrian Monk, “It’s a blessing… and a curse!”

    Sep 7, 2007 at 4:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #119   Misheeâ„¢

    oh, also, congrats on the job Nanna – I all too well know the feeling of finally getting a job! But believe me, you will find a way to get online during the day! Thank goodness my job isn’t too strict with the internet rules…

    Sep 7, 2007 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #120   lauralaiwc

    see cassandra, yet ANOTHER pad!!! i hope you keep yours clean and stain-free!!!

    claw, whilst i doth appreciate the thought of the offer, i am a texan and all and wouldnt want to irritate you with my chaps and cowboy hat, since we all wear them here.

    andy, i dont know that anyone else wouldve noticed your mistakes, so i gotta wonder if you wanted us to all know that you were preoccupied with your other hand…


    Sep 7, 2007 at 5:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #121   Andy

    Oh my. I’d better quit while I’m behind, I suppose. :)

    Sep 7, 2007 at 5:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #122   lauralaiwc

    youd better stop doing what with your behind????


    Sep 7, 2007 at 5:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #123   Chloe

    I’ve never in my life heard of someone asking for a Coke when they actually wanted Sprite or Orange or something….up here we don’t really say soda or pop. We call them all soft drinks.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #124   Misheeâ„¢

    laura, don’t forget that you would need a spittoon anywhere you go also!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #125   ijRoberts

    When was the last time someone commented on the actual P/A notes? =)

    This site is such a great distraction from work.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #126   Misheeâ„¢

    we make MANY comments on P/A notes roberts! just look how many times today alone that Terry has been Thanked!!

    Thank you Terry!! Go to the movin’ out page to see the totally awesome shirts that Zsa has come up with at cafepress… it’s even got the backwards “Y” people!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #127   Anna-banana

    Because we run out of things in the P-A notes to comment on.

    So, we pick on each other. Like brothers & sisters. Incest-the game the whole family can play!

    Wow! I need hugs from Jesus. Thank you, Terry.
    Oh, and Please don’t eat my moldy sandwich. You might be starving my unborn baby (the one I made up in my mind).

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #128   ijRoberts

    I know about all the references, Mishee, if I didn’t know better, I’d say this comment tastes fucking delicious!

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #129   Misheeâ„¢

    It may be delicious, but I wouldn’t eat it if you served it to me on one of those ugly-as-sin, drown-it-at-the-river when it’s born Fat Chef placemats….

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #130   Nanna

    I just realized I forgot to thank Terry for my job! Thanks Terry!

    Also, how do you snatch someone’s Bosy?

    Sep 7, 2007 at 6:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #131   Misheeâ„¢

    #131 Anna – don’t forget about the childern – oh God, who’s thinking of the childern!!!??

    Sep 7, 2007 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #132   Nanna

    The childern are fine. They are playing in the murky liquid with Rene Hall.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 7:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #133   joobs

    Oh, my. You’ve all been busy on here today!

    Is anyone left on here?

    Oh, claw. During your sad story about being so cruelly named as a child, I was picturing the Penguin in the Batman movie–played by Danny DeVito. I could just see your sad little eyes as you were being teased by the others…oh, won’t somebody think of the childern…

    Anyhoo. Then, like Pamela Ewing, I woke up and it was all a dream.

    I think I’ll enjoy a lovely plantain.

    Sep 7, 2007 at 11:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #134   yay

    wait, Suzanne Vega has fans?

    Sep 8, 2007 at 1:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #135   Hannah

    Here’s the Web site:

    I used to walk past it on the way to work. From the outside, it looks like a friendly, homey, earthy-crunchy place to stay. I even suggested one time that a friend of a friend visiting from Japan go check it out. Now I’m glad she didn’t.

    Sep 8, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #136   lauralaiwc

    ok mishee, i give. i dont follow the spittoon joke, unless it goes along with the chaps and hat thing, but the last comment i left was about playing with ones behind, and then there was something about a spittoon…SCARY!@!!! :)

    Sep 8, 2007 at 8:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #137   Andy bang

    lauralaiwc: I agree. That’s why I haven’t responded in this thread in so long. I was bit scared about the spittoon thing. I know I started it, but yegads!

    Sep 8, 2007 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #138   Dorm Bedding Set: Comforter, Sheet Set, Mattress Pad, Towels -TwinXL -10 Pc Set, Navy Blue

    [...] Thank you for NOT switching dorm beds Image by passiveaggressivenotes…; [...]

    Jan 19, 2011 at 6:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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