Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Processed-Food Fiend

September 10th, 2007 · 84 comments

As this example from Winston-Salem, N.C. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker.

Things that we know have been stolen from this refrigerator recently

The thief might be depending on the fridge’s contents as a source of food, but mercy? Don’t count on it.

FILED UNDER: cheese · itemized list · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing · Winston-Salem

84 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Lauren_Says

    can someone please give a more detailed definition and maybe some examples of “whatever it takes?”

    Sep 10, 2007 at 12:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   dragon

    question: who is usually in an office building over-night and on weekends?
    answer: SECURITY.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 1:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Politically Incorrect 1


      You’re not supposed to put two and two together like that!

      May 8, 2008 at 3:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   The fridge thefters

      Oh no! They’re onto us! Run for it!

      Jul 18, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Jako

      Team dragon here. Just… Team dragon.

      Jul 19, 2009 at 4:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   WanderingPenguin

    Too bad that “whatever it takes to put a stop to it” doesn’t include not leaving food in there overnight for a while.

    Personally, I am hoping that “whatever it takes” includes exploding yogurt containers, fruit cups laced with laxatives and soft drinks with pop rocks inside – and that all of it is captured on hidden camera.

    BTW, judging by the use of the term, “soft drink”, we can reasonably deduce that this wasn’t posted on a fridge in the US Midwest – according to the sodavspop link that claw posted a couple of days ago!

    Sep 10, 2007 at 1:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   butterfly

    “Occurs with such regularity we are sure it is a source of food for the thief…”

    ummmmm…even if it occurred without regularity, isn’t food always a source of food, for everybody???

    “We are angry enough to do whatever it takes to put a stop to it…”

    Really?? Anything?? Would you kill to stop it?? hmmmm. I doubt it. How about you get a cold pack or two, an insulated lunch bag and keep your lunch with you at your desk if you are that enraged? Or don’t leave food in the fridge overnight! A thief can’t take what’s not there. Take responsibility for your own things and you won’t be a victim of anyone! Neat idea…because it doesn’t seem like the notes have been working…

    I love notes like this…good times! My thoughts to people who write things like this??

    How about this…suggest that human resources put a lock on the fridge? — so that every time it is time to eat, HR will have to unlock the fridge…? Observation is a great deterrent. Better yet, buy yourself a lunch box and luggage combo lock to lock it closed — no one can eat a lunch they can’t get into… Of course, the refrigerator could also be removed…that would really eliminate the problem, huh? lol

    Although, from the sound of it, it seems like this might be a hotel or someplace that stores food for a business? — like a continental breakfast buffet for guests? — in which case, perhaps HR needs to sit down and have a serious conversation with the night auditor and/or night workers about the thefts and tell them that whoever is doing it needs to stop or they will be fired, rather than posting ridiculous threatening notes… Funny thought — I bet security is stealing the food! Dishonest people tend to seek out positions (without much supervision or WITH authority) that will allow them better opportunities to steal, sleep, whatever…like security, overnight cleaner, even management! Not all, of course, but more than we care to think… First rule of loss prevention — ANYONE could be stealing, even the boss! Check references carefully, ask probing questions, have good office morale — this shit is less likely to happen! I’m just sayin’… ;-)

    Sep 10, 2007 at 2:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Ceryniti

    I’m with dragon about the security.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 2:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Anna-banana

    Colonel Mustard says that it was the Housekeeping who did it. In the ktichen. With a knife (and fork).

    And they don’t know how to spell people, but ‘peaple’. From: kitchen wish list

    They’re also there after hours, besides security.

    And WP….love ya’ but have to say DUH! Of course the foodnapping occurred elsewhere, than in the US Midwest a’ la Claw, it says in the intro it was Winston-Salem, N.C.!

    That food was fuckin’ delicious!

    Sep 10, 2007 at 3:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Jerry

    Wow. Just wow. The yucky stuff at the bottom of the page just makes the ending perfect. It looks a bit like oozing blood or slime. It has so much power in it, like a bad horror flick. Wouldn’t want to mess with them.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Tmoney The Shocka'

      Yucky stuff? That’s just shadow and air gaps between the cellophane tape and the paper!

      /you internetters sure have active imaginations

      Mar 27, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Spooky MILF

    It’s obvious it was the rent-a-cops, aka security. That’s what they do: patrol for things to thieve.

    And, you never leave anything lying around that you wouldn’t want people to steal, including food.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 6:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   claw71

    They’re angry enough do do whatever it takes?

    OK how about a hidden camera or some booby-trapped cheese? Better yet, why doesn’t one of these concerned cubical citizens do something crazy like stay late to narrow down the list of suspects. I believe whatever it takes is limited to this note because if they had any bright ideas or the tenacity to catch the food theif they would have done it already.

    We told HR? Oh boy, I’d be terrified. What the hell is HR going to do? Place a note in my personnel file? Refer me to counseling?

    If I worked with people stupid enough to put up a note like this I’d get in early and take a dump in the fridge. What kind of note would they write after that?

    Sep 10, 2007 at 7:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Goopie

    I’m with WanderingPenguin–the best punishment for this thief would be to mess with the food somehow. I’d smear some earwax or tea tree oil on the kielbasa. Buy some bitter apple spray at a pet store and put it on the fruit cups. It would be effective and also very passive-aggressive.

    Also, claw71, I don’t know if “cubical citizens” is a deliberate misspelling, but it’s a damn funny one. Made me squirt coffee outta my nose.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 7:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Andy bang

    Man, we get notes every once in awhile that tease us to get close to the glory of “Mad Bomber”, and I hope this pilot note turns into another award-winning miniseries.

    That being said, I love that someone brought kielbasa to work for lunch, and left it there overnight.

    The itemization is great, even though with such detail, they still say things like “at least two packs of cheese” — at least? If you’re going to be this specific, give me some hard frickin’ numbers.

    As WanderingPenguin said, don’t leave food overnight or over the weekend.

    That kielbasa was fucking delicious.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Michelle

    Actually, HR can fire someone for stealing (even food).

    It’s pretty rare, but it is grounds for dismissal.

    We had to post a note on the fridge at my old work place notifying them of this fact to get them to stop stealing people’s lunches.

    It felt so absurd, but then again, so is stealing another person’s lunch.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 8:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Misheeâ„¢

    I’m wondering if the note writer sent out an email to get the list of missing food complied. If he did, then where is the email??

    I can imagine him, probably looking like Milton from Office Space, going from cube to cube with a notepad and paper taking down the list of people’s missing food… mumbling all the while, “They took my yogurt! It was strawberry!”

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   claw71

    That’s cubical citizens as in squares. These notes are always stupid but the note has nothing on the dweebs who leave them. I can just picture the fat guy in the file room crying over his missing kielbasa. Who the hell takes kielbasa to work? This isn’t Chicago, people. What’s next? Pierogi?

    You know, it’s not as if anybody thinks the food in an office fridge is up for grabs. The person responsible for stealing the food knows damned well that its wrong. It’s not as if they’ll read the note and stop.

    The other issue with this note is that it states “Things that we know…” Isn’t that just a bit redundant? Would anybody make a list of things we don’t know that were stolen from the fridge? And if the stolen items weren’t a source of food for the thief what other purpose would they serve? Sure, I can think of several things to do with polish sausage besides eat it but aside from phallic meats I’m not that creative.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Michael

    Haha, dragon, probably. I can picture the security guy on the phone with her while eating a stolen fruit cup — “No ma’am, nothing yet. We’re working real hard on finding the guy though…”

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Katzndogz

    I’d put a sign up saying, “I licked the container of XYZ before I put it in the fridge. Are you hungry enough to touch my saliva when you steal my food? Have you had your flu shot yet?”

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   claw71

    To the tune of “Where, oh, where can my baby be”

    I had a lunch date with a pack of meat
    I took it to work in my front seat
    I placed it in my office ice chest
    Hillshire Farm, it is the best

    The boss bought us lunch so I let the meat stay
    I planned to eat it next Monday
    But when I got back, there was an empty pack
    I almost had a heart attack

    Oh where oh where can my Kielbasa be?
    Somebody took it away from me.
    I’m going hungry from a lack of food
    So now I’m getting in a note writing mood.

    Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   ShagNBag

    Those frozen dinners were fucking delicious.

    By the way there have been 38 so far. More are requested.

    The fruit cups were a little old, please bring in some new ones.

    The yogurt is continually fucking delicious.

    The cheese is a source of food.

    The kielbasa was fucking delicious but the box was not.

    The soft drinks washed down all the fucking deliciousness.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Misheeâ„¢

    claw, it’s strange to see you sound so comdemning of the food thief when you yourself have a self proclaimed “45 Minute Rule”… maybe this office has their very own Claw…

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Michael

    Holy shit, there are pigs flying outside — I agree with something Mishee said. It must be an imposter using her name again. haha. But seriously, Claw has no room to speak on anything regarding food, I hope someone gets him with ex-lax very soon.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Michael

    Actually, he’s only stating that the person knows it’s wrong, not that it’s wrong in the first place. So yeah, this note probably makes Claw giddy that there are more dipshits like him out there stealing food from others.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Al Hanso

    Team Kielbasa.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Anna-banana

    Cool song, Claw. I was singing it outloud in my cube.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   claw71

    I didn’t condemn the thief at all.

    Just because I condone fridge raids doesn’t mean I think they are right. Theft is wrong whether you wait a week, 45 minutes or you snatch that second Pop Tart right off your cube mate’s desk while they are just finihsing the first one. That being said, life is about survival and you don’t get to be the big dog by obeying rules.

    I’m not a nice guy. I’ll swipe your lunch and eat it while I make sweet love to your teen-aged daughter (age of consent may vary). I’ll pinch $20 out of your purse and spend it on beer, porn and pork rinds. I’ve been know to break foul wind in the office and blame it on the quiet fat girl in the corner. It’s not that I don’t think these things are wrong, I just don’t care.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   BoggyWoggy

    Anna-Banana: I like that you got vicious on WP.

    I think there is a history of food being used for sexual escapades. Possibly, the scenerio goes as such:

    Folks leave the office at about 6:00. The boss sees that the staff lounge is cleared and goes in for the kill. He nabs: yogurt, fruit cups, and kielbasa…
    Someone should use a blacklight in his office to see “evidence” of his hijinks.

    Now, I’m sure ya’ll have an image that you’ll have a hard time getting rid of today…

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   jordan

    Perhaps it could be security but usually the people raiding fridges around my office building are the cleaning people. They also steal my tissues and loose change in my desk drawer (which I learned to stop leaving in there). Yes we all know it is wrong that people steal shit. Why do you try being proactive instead of reactive?

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   jordan

    sorry- don’t you try being proactive.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   claw71


    That lunch is mine, you better keep it close
    I’ll snatch right from under your nose
    Turn your back on me…I’ll take your purse
    It’s not a joke, I’ve done much worse.
    Shamon, shamon,
    Took your car keys, OW! Shamon.

    Your baby girl is almost fifteen
    Just three more months, I’ll make her scream.
    I ate your cake, but I didn’t pay
    I told the boss that you might be gay.

    Well you think I’ve reached the limit
    But that isn’t really true
    I don’t have any scruples
    And love tormenting you

    Because I’m bad, I’m bad Come on.
    You know I’m bad, I’m bad You know it
    You know, You know I’m bad come on

    And the whole world’s posting PA notes
    Just to stop me right in my tracks

    Who’s bad?

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   justmindinmine

    by any means……hmmm……assault rifles and attack dogs? bear traps?…….

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   Michael

    I’ve gone cross-eyed. Claw is my enemy and hero all at once. The world is wacky.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Misheeâ„¢

    Wow, pigs MUST be flying because I am agreeing with something Michael says now!! I am totally on the same page with #30… it’s disturbing and at the same time, fascinating…

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Zsa

    I love all the open space available for people to put their 2 cents (and stolen items) in.

    - maybe the resident bulimic will offer to regurgitate lunch for them, like feeding a baby bird. All the hard work of opening packages and chewing will be done already.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   Misheeâ„¢

    Upon rereading again and again, I think my favorite food item stolen has to be the Cheese – two packs, one crumbles, one slices… that just gets my funny bone!

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   Writer, Rejected

    Nice. It’s like an episode of Law & Order, this letter.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Dan Weber

    Claw, the song is “Last Kiss,” first popularized by Jay Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers in the 1960′s. It was covered about a decade ago by Pearl Jam, of all people.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   Spreggels

    The only realistic recourse in this situation is food sabotage — the note isn’t going to stop the thief, HR isn’t going to shit, and setting up surveillance is probably involved and possibly expensive.

    Laxatives are a classic choice, but there’s a chance that the thief might not connect cause and effect. What about that insane hot sauce concentrate, the kind where you add just a couple of drops to spice up a gallon chili? If you could get, say, a teaspoon of that into a yogurt container — using a syringe, maybe — that would leave no doubt in the thief’s mind as to where the burning pain is coming from.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   Heather

    I’m reminded of the Friends episode in which someone eats Ross’s leftover Thanksgiving turkey sandwich.


    Sep 10, 2007 at 2:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Black Bellamy

    If someone was stealing my food from the office fridge I would rub my cock all over it, and not tell anyone. After a couple of weeks, I would start adding pubic hair.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 2:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   bobwong

    I’m picturing the note writer after hours lying in a lower cabinet in the lunch room with a gun, watching & waiting for the theif to take the bait of a nice, big cheddar kielbasa left in the fridge.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 2:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #40   will

    I’m willing to bet that the office fridge is the single biggest source of PA notes in the US, followed by people not doing dishes.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 2:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #41   claw71

    We declare our right on this earth to be a man, to be a human being, to be respected as a human being, to be given the rights of a human being in this society, on this earth, in this day, which we intend to bring into existence by any means necessary. ”
    — Malcolm X, 1965

    What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.
    Lucretius (96 BC – 55 BC)

    He that first cries out stop thief, is often he that has stolen the treasure.
    William Congreve (1670 – 1729

    He that is robb’d, not wanting what is stolen,
    Let him not know ‘t, and he’s not robb’d at all.
    William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616), “Othello”, Act 3 scene 3

    Sep 10, 2007 at 3:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #42   Mishee

    “ITS” contents in my tummy. Sorry, you all know how perfect I normally am at my grammar. I’ll work harder next time.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 3:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #43   claw71 bang

    I used to monitor a message board and we had a similar problem with name theft before we established a strict registration policy. Of course the people on our board who seemed to be “victimized” the most were false flagging themselves.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 3:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #44   GhostWriter

    After a morning of encyclopedic analysis of the stolen items, I propose a theory:

    The thief is on the Atkins (or other lo-carb) diet. He/she is not doing too well on it, but there is a definite tendency toward lo-carb purloined items.

    But since the thief is eating some carbs as well, the diet probably isn’t working! Look for a grumpy fat security guard, possibly snacking on pork rinds…

    …oh shoot, I thought I’d narrowed it down somewhat.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 3:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #45   I hate Mishee

    yes, but you doubled his pain by posting twice in the same MINUTE — follow what you said you would and quiet down.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 3:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #46   WanderingPenguin

    Anna-banana #9:

    Well, of course you could read the preamble to find out where the note was from, but you need to ask yourself: “What would Encyclopedia Brown do?”

    Answer: he would do DNA testing on the Kielbasa box to determine the age, gender, race, creed and sexual orientation of the perpetrator. And he’d probably kick an ass or two, that’s what Brian Boitano’d do. Er, Encyclopedia Brown, I mean. Sorry. :D

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #47   castigate

    They’ll use bear traps eventually. If you’ve ever been to Winston-Salem, NC, you’d agree with me.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #48   bibberly

    Why are people always leaving food in the work fridge anyway? At my previous workplace, we were each assigned a date every three months or so to clean the fridge (one person per week, small office). No big deal. But when I threw out ROTTING food with MOLD on it, the owner (who, for the record, holds a doctorate in Nutritional Sciences) pulled it out and yelled at me for throwing away her food. The expiration date on some of it was over a year earlier (no lie!). Some of it was personal food, others were items we gave to our clients in classes about healthy eating habits. I calmly explained my position that we should not be serving year-old dairy products to the public, but she just rinsed the food off and put it back in the fridge, scolding me the whole time. After that, she checked behind me on my assigned cleaning days.
    As for the personal food, I say if you are not going to eat it that day, don’t leave it in the fridge taking up other people’s space! I am sometimes tempted to steal others’ food in my current workplace just so that I have space for my Hot Pocket. However, since only six of us have a key to the room where the fridge is, and I am the newest person, it would be too obvious.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #49   claw71

    This thief stole an entire box of Polska kielbasa, WP. I think we can make some pretty educated guesses as to the sexual orientation.

    Anna, I don’t know what version of Encyclopedia Brown you’re referring to but the books I read never entailed any ass kicking. Did you pick up the Quentin Tarantino screen play?

    Besides, if this was an EB story Bugs Meany would be the thief in this case. This low brow hit and run caper is right up his alley. Will Wiggins would have done something more elaborate like trick the entire office to attend a luncheon so he could abscond with the entire fridge. In the event any ass kicking to be done, Sally would have taken care of it.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #50   GhostWriter

    (59) Bib- Not if you go the Way of the Claw. Take the food, and summarily dismiss the obvious fact that you took it.

    “No, seriously, I am just as upset about it as you are too- who do you really think took your kielbasa?”

    “Look, we are not getting anywhere playing the “blame” game- we have to come up with some hunches, find some clues, put it all together and solve this case!”

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #51   GhostWriter

    …a tip of the tattered ball cap to Claw, for his spot-on Encyclopedia Brown characterizations!

    Sep 10, 2007 at 4:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #52   ALA

    Who takes cheese crumbles to work? Are they making salads & need a carton or bag of cheese crumbles as a topping? Also, packs of cheese slices? I’m envisioning the package of Kraft singles used to make sandwiches. Either way (crumbles/slices), what they’re saying is that they are actually using the fridge for long-term storage, a practice that seems ill-advised. Not just because everyone’s office has a food-stealer, but because the office fridge can typically be deemed a Superfund industrial waste site & the less time food spends in it, the longer it stays edible. We’ve all put a sandwich in the fridge, only to take it out later, dig in, and think “this tastes like rotting banana.”
    Hmm…perhaps they should re-think short-term storage as well…

    Sep 10, 2007 at 5:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #53   ALA

    Also, I’m amazed that it took 6 posts before we got a “fucking delicious.”

    Sep 10, 2007 at 5:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #54   Misheeâ„¢

    claw, your Encyclopedia Brown is perfect!! I used to read those all of the time, so the title of this post gave me a chuckle… I was wondering WP why is it that you think that Encyclopedia Brown has access to a DNA lab? In my opinion the culprit was the new exchange worker from some part of the world that E.B. knows has a diet rich in diary and yogurt and frozen dinners (some Mediterranean country perhaps?) and then he would confront the thief in front of a big crowd, perhaps at the 4th of July celebration in the town square, or the talent show at the Elementary School. The culprit would then confess and blame his downfall all on E.B. then E.B.’s dad would take him away in the police car…

    Sep 10, 2007 at 5:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #55   Fraulein N

    Thank you, ALA (#63) for asking the burning question: who the hell brings cheese crumbles to work? There’s keeping your lunch in the work fridge until lunchtime, and then there’s … this, which seems to be someone (or several someones, judging by the references to “we”) storing their goddamn GROCERIES at work.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 5:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #56   Rhetorical

    Im scared of the office fridge… I must be the only one afraid of what grows in there… I keep my lunch in a cold pack at my desk.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 8:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #57   Minox

    Mmmm…. crumbles.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 9:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #58   GVI

    Damn, after a great weekend of awesome notes we get this :( what did we do to disgrace you oh great PAN God.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #59   Andy bang

    GVI: Are you kidding me? This is a prime example: The many font shapes/sizes, the bullet point lists, the vague threats, the kielbasa…

    I think it’s just fine for a Monday.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 10:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #60   Mo

    Reminds me of an old boss I had . She ate our food at night so much that we started calling her Food Snatcha!

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #61   GVI

    Hey Andy, it was cool and all, but after the ones we had for the last couple days i was kind of let down, but thats just me.

    Sep 10, 2007 at 11:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #62   ItAintEasyBeingCheesy

    Did any of you see News Radio? The episode where Andy Dick’s yogurt continers were being stolen? He set up a camera in a wedge of cheese to catch the thief. (Turned out Phil Hartman was paying the janitor to steal them just to aggravate AD.)

    Sep 11, 2007 at 2:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #63   claw71

    Let’s be honest about the kielbasa, shall we?

    It’s obvious that was a preemptive move by the office staff to stymie Gassy Gary’s afternoon crop dusting efforts.

    Sep 11, 2007 at 7:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #64   Misheeâ„¢

    #74 – not the only reference to office food stealing on NewsRadio – there was the one where someone was stealing Joe’s Gelato (I think, ice cream right?) and so he treated the packaging with like, glow in the dark stuff or something and then caught the culprit, which I think was Phil Hartman…

    Sep 11, 2007 at 10:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #65   lauralaiwc

    im doing what i say irks me at times and skipping all the countless (ok, 75 is countless) and making my own comment which im sure has been made a billion times.

    ive never taken lunch to eat at lunch during my lunch break at work and NOT eaten it. i always take my lunch, im a texan with an apetite, dammit :) so i dont know what anyone is doing leaving food overnight in the fridge. its like the chick that left her $20 a can cat food in the hallway. youre just asking for it.

    id do something wacky like put a scarcrow or a moustrap in the fridge, baited and all just to see what people would do.

    Sep 11, 2007 at 11:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #66   zsa

    Just opened the break room fridge to get creamer for my coffee and there is a take out container that is marked “BEWARE”

    Make me want to sneak a taste~ especially cause people around here are pretty good about not eating other’s food.
    However, there are some here who think 10-spicy thai is medium, so I’m in a conumdrum. Claw, would you brave it or not?

    Sep 11, 2007 at 11:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #67   claw71

    In my sick little world I would take “Beware” as a sign that the person who brought that food in felt it was too spicy and opted to share it.

    Of course it is 9-11 and that little box could very well get you out of work if you report it to the proper authorities.

    Sep 11, 2007 at 12:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #68   Anna-banana

    I was at the 49er game yesterday, so I couldn’t respond until now.

    I’m sorry. I don’t remember talking speciafically about ass-kicking.

    But, I’m not saying that that would be fun.

    But, I WAS talking about Colonel Mustard…who was tailgating WITH his knife & fork yesterday
    and eating kielbasa next to our encampment.
    There’s your culprit.

    Oh! And he had lots of CHEESE!

    Thank you, Terry

    Sep 11, 2007 at 1:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #69   BoggyWoggy

    Today, in our staff room, I noticed the fridge was so full that in order to get stuff out, people were having to take out a lot of items in order to get to the back. One of the items was marked, “PERSONAL.” We all cracked up.

    Sep 11, 2007 at 5:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #70   Misheeâ„¢

    The 49er game ‘eh? Were they playing at home anna? cause if they were, then you are close to me… but don’t get too close wearing that red and gold, cause it doesn’t go well with black and silver!!

    Sep 11, 2007 at 5:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #71   GVI

    Oooh cat fight, i want tickets.

    Sep 11, 2007 at 8:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #72   Anna-banana

    You’re on sista’! I’ll take that brawl.

    It WAS a home game. We opened a can a’ whoop-ass on those Cardinals. And, yes, I live in CA, too.

    Raiders are traitors-they moved to L.A., ‘member?

    Sep 11, 2007 at 10:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #73   BoggyWoggy

    (snarling cat fight sounds in the background)
    Go Anna! Throw her off the balcony! C’mon!

    Sep 12, 2007 at 7:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #74   Misheeâ„¢

    I don’t have to do much, I have the Raider Nation behind me – they are some crazy ass mf’s!! But I would never want to hurt Anna! Besides, although I do love Oakland, I am more of a green and gold girl at heart – football is just the Raider Nation for me… I don’t even like the sport much…

    But you get me near Mr. Nick Swisher… hmmm…. watch out!!!

    Sep 12, 2007 at 7:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #75   GVI

    So your a John Deer girl?? Who is Nick Swisher and don’t tell me go google him neither i’m lazy.

    Sep 12, 2007 at 8:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #76   Nanna

    Yeah I never leave my lunch in the fridge.

    But I do wonder: How long have these perishable items been in the fridge? Maybe someone is cleaning them out when they expire and the sign maker is an idiot?

    Sep 15, 2007 at 5:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #77   Nanna

    And why doesn the paper look like it was wet at one time?

    Sep 15, 2007 at 5:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #78   micaela douglas

    you write good boks

    May 9, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #79   stephizzal

    really wouldn’t surprise me if it was security. when we had a load of food go missing, it was security doing it. i swear they just saw it as a perk of the job. it was remedied using bitrex anti-chew spray from the pet store, maltesers and a bottle of coke. it stopped after that.

    Jul 6, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #80   FunFunRahRah bang

    I wonder what was meant to go in that space in the middle of the page – perhaps a police sketch of the suspect/s?

    Aug 2, 2009 at 5:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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