Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

September 19th, 2007 · 265 comments

Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!

but then they switched from the swingline to the boston stapler

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

thank you so much for your collaborations

Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”

FILED UNDER: a little uptight · and that's an order · Chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · Seattle · spelling and grammar police


265 responses so far ↓

  • #1   DonkeyCock

    Period.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   GVI bang

    Note #1. I love the fact that this note came with its very own backstorys and I have to find some way of using the term “uniformly present”.

    Note #2. What’s up with leaving residual chemicals in your glassware and then crying when someone takes (steals) it, maybe they just took them to wash them out.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Minox

    The white enamel in-out boxes were fucking delicious… but I’m not eating contaminated glassware.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Note one: How long until we all need to have his/her family pictures on our desks as well?…Uniformity people, please bend to my superior aesthetic eye.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Note two: Those residual chems are delicious, please don’t lock our get high cabinet!
    We did leave Dixie cups as replacements you know.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   magpie

    ugh the chemist’s bad writing makes me gag

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Ex-chemistry student

    @GVI — No. You don’t take others’ glassware in a lab. (“Period.”) It might be part of someone’s experiment.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Note one:

    Unemployment examiner: So Mr. Smith, why were you fired?

    Mr. Smith: My in-box was the wrong color.

    Executive VP Monk: How can anyone concentrate when in-boxes are miss-matched?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Ivy

    Note #1 in reference to Note #2. Well, they’re leaving residual chemicals in the glassware because it’s a science lab. That’s what they use their glassware for. For chemicals and stuff.

    Note #2. Have been “taken?”. Also “We will have to take some actions” cracks me up.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    #7…And if you use said glassware it could, probably would screw up your experiment.
    One would think that everyone that the email was sent to knows better. Look to the cleaning staff…or someone with cheese crumbles in their desk!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Wade bang

    “have been taken our glassware”?!?

    This from a chemist at a pharmaceutical company.

    Hmmm…

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Leshka

    The principal at my brother’s school (years ago) wanted to make sure all the shades in a room were at the same length. Any teacher pulling a shade lower than the others was reprimanded.

    Sounds like he changed jobs.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Note two…”collaboration” vs “cooperation” tickles the F outta me.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   GVI bang

    All I want to know is who leaves residual chemicals in glass ware?? They should know better.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Wade bang

    That first note sounds more A-R than P-A. Period.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   marla

    did you post the second one to show how trivial the first one was?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Wade bang

    Me too, Canthz.

    Collaboration, lol.

    Ve have vays of making you talk.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Here, here Wade…what a maroon!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Sharona

    I like the “it has occurred to us” in #2. That makes it sound like they had been wrestling with the disappearing-glassware problem for a while before someone proposed the “pharmaceutics is totally stealing our stuff” hypothesis.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    “This is not optional”? Can you say “My way or the highway”?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    #17 Wade, You do a great SS man!! LOL

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Wade bang

    Aahh, yeah. You’re going to need to use the white enamel in-out box to match the new covers of the TPS reports. Didn’t you get my email about that.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    “Collaboration”…is he looking for an informant from the thieving corporate division?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Gadget

    Note 1: I really wondered, is this serious? Too out there to be real, right? If it is real, I wonder how many times the VP rechecks to see if he locked his front door, car door, etc (a tad OCD).

    Note 2: First off, I like the word “residual.” Now, “have been taken our glassware”……..I don’t know where to begin on that.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    ???Wade…I have seen “TPS” twice today. Both get me close to toilets…wha does that stand for if I may ask?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    You can lose your drivers’ license because of residual chemicals!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   shirky

    tps reports doesn’t stand for anything, it’s a symbol of meaninglessness, it’s from office space.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Wade bang

    Canthz

    Running gag from the movie “Office Space”, directed by Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead).

    TPS report was a piece of mindless paperwork that the main character forgot to send with the new cover sheet (per memo)…and is reminded of relentlessly (didn’t you get my email) in the opening scene in the movie.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   lola

    CanthzB – you can also lose custody of your children (*cough*Britney*)

    I love Sharona’s hypothesis, BTW, except I’m imagining them with head scarves and joints, sitting on the floor of their lab going:

    “Hey maaaan… they’re TOTALLY stealin’ our stuff, maaan. Buzz kill. They took all our residual chemicals.”

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   anna-banana bang

    I think Phil must’ve swiped the in-out boxes. He was asked to put them on everyone’s desk. But DID he….?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   lola

    My friend in high school had sex with Ron Livingston’s sister at a golf course. FWIW.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Canthz_B bang

    Oh, thanks guys (and dolls?) movies are my achilles heel.

    Anna…your post made me hear Twilight Zone music! But did he?………………..
    Neener-neener, Neener-neener! LOL

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   anna-banana bang

    The SC in note #2 clearly stands for Synthetic Clodhoppers.
    And the AS= Asinine Suckers.

    How DARE they swipe glassware from these fine fellows

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Canthz_B bang

    #31 Lola, I fucked a sheep in Ron Livingston’s golf cart…so?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Wade bang

    Maybe Phil swapped them for some glassware with residual chemicals.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   anna-banana bang

    Cool, Canthz! I can see Rod Serling already….with cigarette in hand….narrating: “Here we have Phil. And Phil’s boxes. But DID he place them on everyone’s desk? The operative word of the day….uniformity. Or is this another day in the enigma we call…The Twilight Zone.” Hee hee

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Tim

    @GVI: Glass isn’t completely impermeable, nor can it always be cleaned to be absolutely chemical-free. Even a soak in aqua regia or weeks in a base bath might result in shiny, spotless glassware, it may/will still be contaminated at a molecular level. It’s pretty well-known in the industry that you don’t use someone else’s glassware, for precisely this reason.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Wade bang

    Team aqua regia!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Canthz_B bang

    NOT FAIR ANNA…you made me leak pee!!!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   anna-banana bang

    Tim you are a regular chemistry nerd, huh? Thanks for my lesson, dude.

    Team TMI!!! Or rather TPS!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Canthz_B bang

    Thanks Tim…I was going to take a sleeping pill but now…..

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Canthz_B bang

    Be gentle when you arrive claw.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Canthz_B bang

    What does one do if one’s white enamel in box clashes with one’s pensil box or other desktop items? Should corporate not spring for an entire new desktop accessory kit?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Canthz_B bang

    pencil…I used to know this stuff!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Wade bang

    Send in a requisition to the Executive Vice President via Phil. Period.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Andy bang

    OK, the first one. That is why this person is a VP. You know, all of our problems would be solved if you use the white enamel in-boxes, dangit! People who tell me what in-box to use can shampoo my crotch.

    As for the second note, I have to side with the note-writer, especially if people are taking the best stuff (which happens to our group all of the time). The worst thing is that we don’t have glassware-washing slaves; we do our own washing up. So, here, they have the balls to swipe our stuff, THEN douchelly sneak it back for us to have to wash it later on.

    Or, the note-writer is an anal-retentitive control freak, and can’t share with others. Any way you slice it, you come up with douchebag, though. Yay!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Andy bang

    And actually, I think the main issue with the second note is that they have to keep ordering glassware, as if no one else knows how to look something up in the Fisher catalog. Probably PhDs. :)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Canthz_B bang

    “Douchelly”….That has got to be a first Andy!! LMAO

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   lola

    Whoa! you guys all disappeared and then BAM! back again. holy hell. remember back in the day when a really good PAN would get only 8 or 9 comments?

    golf course fucking should be a sport. bonus points if it’s with a farm animal or a famous person’s close relative.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Tim

    @ anna-banana: Total chemistry nerd. It’s a living.

    @ Canthz_B: Believe me, I know. ;-)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Canthz_B bang

    You’re “Khemistry Kool” Tim!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   anna-banana bang

    Glad you took my ribbing good-naturedly, Tim. (I’m secretly a wanna-be chemistry nerd, ergo I’m jealous of you!) :)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Canthz_B bang

    #49 Lola—The Aristocrats!!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Canthz_B bang

    OK Tim, Anna and I have made nice nice, now where is your meth lab located….where can we get free samples? :-) LOL

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   anna-banana bang

    Uh….would one of youse please edjumacate me? What’s golf course f***ing? Just fing ON a golf course? Or something more kinky that I’m missing??? Do tell, please…..

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Canthz_B bang

    I know it has something to do with a hole in one!
    Also “Sticking a birdie”!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Canthz_B bang

    I’m not doing the Bogey thing.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   anna-banana bang

    So it IS just plain old f-ing? But, on a golf course?
    Okay. Got it. Gracias

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Canthz_B bang

    Oooo. what lurks in the deviant recesses of A-B’s mind….inquiring minds want to know!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Canthz_B bang

    My white enamel in-box awaits.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   anna-banana bang

    What about the out-box? It’s jealous, Canthz. It IS an in-out box, you know. Please don’t discriminate, ya hear?

    And as for my inner recesses….please stay tuned to this channel. Or the next episode of….The A-B No-Doze Zone!!!!! On the other hand….I’m fading…off to sleepy town for moi. Night ya’ll!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Canthz_B bang

    Ur wish is my command A-B!
    See ya on the flip-side…pun intended! LOL

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   WanderingPenguin

    Actually, the second note says, “Thank you for your collaborationS” – plural. This is much more sweeping than just their co-operation in helping to solve this particular problem. Now they are being thanked for absolutely everything they do in groups of any 2 people or more.

    What a jolly place!

    And how come I am still waiting for my damn password? :(

    Wait – haven’t tried praying. “Appease me oh PAN gods so that I may….”

    Nah. I just can’t do it.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   morpho aurora

    it has occurred to me that phil got tired of playing with the in boxes and have been taken the contaminated glassware. he’s hidden all of it, just to drive the AR VP nuts. the glassware is being used to store the socks and silver ended spoon.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   morpho aurora

    or maybe that $19 cat food

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   kelly

    what EVP uses AOL? seriously now. this company clearly has bigger problems.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   morpho aurora

    any company that has a VP worrying about the color of in boxes has serious problems. then again, most VPs are bubbleheaded idiots anyway. color coding the desk sets may be all they trust him with :)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Canthz_B bang

    “Collaborations” makes sense. Scientists don’t publish until an experiment has be duplicated and verified. There MUST be multiple informants.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Canthz_B bang

    Drop to your PAN knees WP…down this road alone lies password salvation. LOL

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   T-Bone

    In my dotage, I’ve worked in dozens of offices where I’ve seen both in-boxes and out-boxes. I’ve seen an in-box and out-box stuck together, in which case one would be called an “in-box” and the other (predictably) an “out-box”. What are these fabled “in-out boxes” of which the Vice-President writes? Are they one consolidated box? If so, how does one determine which TPS report is “in” and which TPS report is “out”? You can’t! They’re all mixed up– in and out TPS reports together!! Oh, my God!!!! Who is this Vice-President person?!!? (S)he sounds like a nightmare!!! What a fucked up email!!

    I’m going to get ready for bed now, but first I have to arrange everything on my desk at right angles.

    Time for my sleeping pills.

    Grrrrr.

    Talk to you guys in the morning.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   morpho aurora

    wait a minute, the biggest threat these guys have is “locking our glassware cabinet”? come on, i’m no PhD, but i can think up much scarier stuff than that. and i wouldn’t warn ‘em either!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   morpho aurora

    …..still waiting for a password……
    i can’t do the praying thing, i’ve been on my knees enough today.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   morpho aurora

    well that came out wrong
    didn’t think it thru before i hit submit

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   Canthz_B bang

    #72 Morpho, I will just leave that one alone! LOL
    My mind has slipped into the gutter, not your fault, so I’ll be a good boy.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   morpho aurora

    oh well obviously mine stays there or i wouldn’t still be giggling
    the second was as bad as the first, submit should not have been the word chosen.
    :P

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   lola

    ooh, morpho, you’re gettin’ me hot! I’ve been waiting to be punctuated for about an hour now. I’m guessing there’s a hazing period?

    CanthzB – back to golf porn… do you putt from the rough? have a long stroke? swing a mean club? wash your balls before play?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   lola

    nympho aurora is more like it!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   Canthz_B bang

    Morpho, you have hit the corporate nail on the head though. What more useless life form is there on the planet than a middle manager?
    They spend their days looking for something, anything that they can say they accomplished just to pad their resumes.
    “I was solely responsible for implementing the in/out box color coordination in our offices”.
    BITE ME BROWN-NOSER!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   morpho aurora

    lola – thanks – if i don’t get punctuated soon, i am gonna get even more frustrated
    canthz – golf porn = rough sex? losing your balls in the bush, following thru on your stroke, in a nice smooth motion
    damnit, i’m treading water, i just can’t climb out

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   Canthz_B bang

    My balls sparkle, I like to swing my nine, I have a natural stroke and I live for the rough.

    FORE!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   morpho aurora

    canthz – yes i know about middle managers. every one i ever met wasted the time of the people who actually did the work
    and none of them can keep thier hands to themselves. my ass is not a bongo drum, dildobreath!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   lola

    play through, big swinger! i am in awe of your form

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   morpho aurora

    canthz – four? ambitious, ain’t ya?
    lola – not a nympho, just so happens that’s where my mind is tonite, i’m trying to behave but….
    oh well
    i wonder what the vp of in out boxes would do if someone decorated thier white enamel with little smiley faces. coronary, anyone?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   Canthz_B bang

    Of course you cannot climb out morph…that’s why it’s called a trap. Don’t worry, I can get you where you need to be to complete the hole.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   morpho aurora

    and i keep typing thier instead of their
    sorry y’all

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   morpho aurora

    ROTFLMAO thank you for the stress reliever!:D

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   Canthz_B bang

    My face is always smiley when in an in-box!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   lola

    how can you not smile when inserting your memo into a coworker’s box?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   Canthz_B bang

    Lola, play through? No lady, join me on the course!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   morpho aurora bang

    ooh ooh ooh satisfaction achieved
    i got a password i got a password
    nyah nyah nyah :P

    and if someone is inserting a memo into my inbox, they’d better be smiling

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   Canthz_B bang

    My memo…no, first comes the face sheet!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   morpho aurora bang

    yep can’t send a memo without the face sheet
    otherwise, REJECTION!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   lola

    it IS better when played with a partner, best with a foursome, and when you’ve hit a long one, you’ll have help finding your ball

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   Canthz_B bang

    Or you’re doing something wrong Morpho!
    And that cannot be…you’re punctuated!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   lola

    well, looks like you’re the only one getting punctuated tonight… lonely, lonely

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   Canthz_B bang

    Lola is a sexy name, I cannot imagine that you will not be punctuated this night. I’d punctuate you myself if I were the PAN God…or if you were near!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   morpho aurora bang

    awwww lola, check your email again
    mine said the password had to be manually reset so maybe yours strayed too
    canthz – i usually reject memos without face sheets. breach of protocol. if i can do it, i expect the same

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   lola bang

    maybe not

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   lola bang

    woohoo! I’m punctuated! I need a cigarette…

    was it good for you?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   morpho aurora bang

    oh goody everyone has been punctuated
    hmm y’all know somebody is gonna yell at us for getting off thread and falling in the gutter
    it was worth it

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Canthz_B bang

    Amen to that ladies.
    Anytime either of you needs resetting do let me know.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   BoggyWoggy

    Why would you even put out that message, stupid Chemists? JUST BUY A DAMN LOCK! Jeez! What a bunch of nerdy assholes!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   morpho aurora bang

    oops almost forgot
    since i’ve been punctuated
    thank you o great PAN god
    (and Terry, patron saint of note writers)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Canthz_B bang

    Morpho, just wondering…CAN you do it? Or are you the “I put a lip on it” type?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   BoggyWoggy

    Oh, and whatever happened to Bob Loblaw? Does anyone remember that funny commentor!? I loved his name and found myself saying it all the time. Try it over and over and over…

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Canthz_B bang

    Lol,I know you have the goods, it’s in the name! :-)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   lola bang

    boggy woggy – nice attempt at getting the comments back on course (lol – didn’t do that one on purpose, I swear)

    I’m gonna have some really interesting dreams tonight, thanks, terry

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   morpho aurora bang

    i don’t pay lip service to anyone thank you very much
    if you’re gonna do something, do it well, do it often
    excellence is its own reward!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   lola bang

    ooh, bob loblaw – I remember him!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   Canthz_B bang

    Clever Boggy

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   morpho aurora bang

    boggy woggy – how about lock up the good stuff in one cabinet, and leave and unlocked cabinet of glassware filled with something noxious?
    like i said, never warn someone before doing them dirty, just do it and run like hell before the explosion

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   lola bang

    nighty night – I can rest easy knowing that my name is being shouted on PAN

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   morpho aurora bang

    sorry *an unlocked cabinet*

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Canthz_B bang

    You’re killing me Morpho…and I know of a better reward for such attentiveness.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Canthz_B bang

    NITE LOLA!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   morpho aurora bang

    but it’s only a little death
    i’d have done it in french but i can never remember the gender

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   morpho aurora bang

    night lola
    sigh, one less playmate

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   Canthz_B bang

    You still laying Morph? I got kicked off-line for a bit.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   Canthz_B bang

    ER…PLAYING….SORRY

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   butterfly

    re: Note 1

    Way to increase worker morale, boss-man.

    Swapping out the in-out boxes and concern for creating an office “aesthetic” in general doesn’t offend me — especially when work areas are highly visible to passing-by clients and visitors — appearances make an impression. But, what freaks me out is that a boss is focusing energy, anger and attention on such minutiae — surely running the company and exploring new business opportunities should be more important than black or white in/out boxes?? OCD issues aside, shouldn’t this email have been directed at Phil since he was the one with the delegated responsibility of distributing the boxes? This should be Phil’s embarrassing OCD-mission to follow up on. When it is time for lay-offs, who will get cut first? I vote for anal boss-man!! :-p

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   Annie

    #1 is a fake. Since when do corporate email systems have AOL ads at the bottom???

    Sep 20, 2007 at 2:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   dawn bang

    Seriously – white enamel? *shudder*

    I prefer to have no in-box at all on my desk. I like a completely clear work surface – no plants, no pictures, nothing. Wonder what boss man would have to say about that?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   Der

    All Freak-a-Zoids please report to the dance floor.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   Lurky

    My box is in-out.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   Wade bang

    Is it just me, or is it funny that an email was sent out about inboxes.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   WanderingPenguin bang

    re: #66 Kelly – I never noticed the AOL line at the bottom. I wish I had – that’s priceless!

    Brings to mind one of my favourite ads from a few years back. A slightly-past-middle-age gentleman is walking to his computer with a cup of coffee, saying, “A friend suggested I try AOL and I thought, ‘Why not? I already have a computer!’ ”

    I used to LMAO @ that ad. That would be like, “A friend suggested I try street racing and I thought, ‘Why not? I already have a car!’ ”

    I can’t believe they are still a going concern.

    On a side note: yippee! Got my password immediately after going to bed last night. Looks like some little elf was up late. ;)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   GhostWriter

    Note #1 is not necessarily a fake- it could have easily been forwarded over to an AOL account for global merriment distribution.

    So, why does a VP insist on uniformly white enamel in-boxes? I suggest the following backstory:

    EVP: “Hey VP, did you get the memo?
    VP: “No.”
    EVP: “I put it in your in-box.
    VP: “No you didn’t.”
    EVP: “Here’s a pic from my Treo that shows my memo sitting in your in-box.”
    VP: “That could be anybody’s in-box”
    EVP: “You are the only one around here with a white enamel in-box”

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   WanderingPenguin bang

    Do you suppose the employees there have to get management approval for the frames around family photos on their desks, too? How about briefcase colour? Ties? Socks? Glasses? Hair colour?

    I thought cookie-cutter offices pretty much went out with How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. Guess not!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   Kelly

    In response to Wade’s comment:

    “have been taken our glassware”?!?

    This from a chemist at a pharmaceutical company.

    Hmmm…

    Is it so unreasonable to assume that, gee, maybe there are some chemists out there (some of whom – gasp! might working for pharmaceutical companies!) for whom English isn’t their first language? Just a thought. You’ve obviously never attended a college engineering/chemistry/physics class.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   WanderingPenguin bang

    Here’s a thought: why don’t they take some actions (such as locking their glassware cabinets) instead of leaving these notes? Wouldn’t that have been simpler all along? If they are lockable, perhaps they should be LOCKED.

    But maybe that’s just me.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   Wade bang

    Gee, not only have I received my exclamation point, but – gasp! my first P-A response. My glassware runneth over, obviously. Period.

    Thank you, Ter… er, Kelly!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   Wade bang

    As Tim so painstakingly explained in #37, glassware used in these types of experiments often cannot be decontaminated, soooo…

    Why are the lab slaves washing them twice a day?

    Why aren’t they (glassware, not lab slaves) being discarded?

    If cross-contamination is a real possiblity and not a canard, I’m with WP – lock the damn cabinet.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   Anon

    #105 Boggy – How about Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog? Man I miss Arrested Development.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   Mishee bang

    Follow-up Guilt Ridden Memo from EVP to Peons: “Your old, black, plastic in-out boxes are killing Anthony Grosso, please replace immediately with white enamel in-out boxes. Period.”

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   Wade bang

    Hey, maybe the lab slaves are being P-A and throwing out the glassware they don’t feel like cleaning.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Black Bellamy

    It’s nice being a single guy with skills that allow me to get another job at the drop of a hat.

    Which is what I would have to do probably, because if any VP sent me an email like that I would reply-all with something to the effect of “Who hired this jackass and why is he wasting my time?”

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   Mishee bang

    #133 Anon – I was just saying yesterday that I hope A.D. ends up like Family Guy and gets brought back. It’s looking bleaker though cause I am seeing everyone (especially Michael Cera, since SuperBad and Will Arnett also) branch out into movies and such, and now I am afraid that they won’t want to come back if given the chance…

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   Katzndogz bang

    “have been taken our glassware”

    There are possibilities besides the English as a second language one. He might have originally wrote, “Our glassware have been taken” and changed it around but forgot to clean up the tense. I don’t know how many times I’ve done something like that and then neglected to proofread afterwards.

    Also, people for whom grammar and spelling is not an important part of their careers often become lazy at it, or didn’t care about it in the first place. It doesn’t mean they are stupid or aren’t geniuses at whatever they do. I have a good friend who blows my mind when it comes to his understanding of electronics, but can’t spell worth crap.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   Katzndogz bang

    Well that’s just great. I got an error message, so I refreshed the page to see if my comment made it or not. It didn’t appear to make it so I rewrote it.

    Sheesh.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 11:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   Wade bang

    Katzndogs:

    I took it as a clever example to prove the point of your post.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   WanderingPenguin bang

    Hey Katz:

    “I don’t know how many times I’ve done something like that and then neglected to proofread afterwards.”

    You mean, like typing, “might have originally wrote” and not changing it to, “might have originally written” after proofreading?

    Ok simmer down, it was just a joke – you left yourself wide open for it, too. :)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 11:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   lauralaiwc bang

    i can picture all the little chemists lining up to take flaming shots out of these beakers. or, even better, chemestry russian roullette. all but one of the glasses are brand new, and whoever gets the stolen glass might get some sort of weird disease, or better yet, they might sprout another apendage.

    hmm. depending on the appendage…

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   Katzndogz bang

    Actually, I wouldn’t necessarily have caught that with proofreading. My version of determining if my grammar is correct is to mentally sound it out. If it sounds wrong “saying”it, it probably is wrong. I guess it didn’t sound wrong in my head at the time. It will from now on. :-)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   hools

    1: white replacing black… typical office supply bigotry!

    2: it’s like college all over again. i should have used this tactic to get my roomies to stop stealing *my* glassware. i could have left “residual chemicals” that would have an “adverse effect” on their “reactions and protocols”. muhahaha.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   Stella

    HA! My mom used to work for someone like that… she wanted everyone to use the same color binders, all black ink (NO BLUE!!) and everyone was supposed to keep their station chairs at the same height (no joke – that one didn’t last long) There was complimentary coffee out for customers – she wanted there to be precisely seven disposable cups in each of exactly three stacks of cups on the table – any time a customer had a cup of coffee, she’d run over and refill the cup.

    The woman ended up getting transferred to a smaller rural office – hopefully one with an employee mental health plan.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #146   mere bang

    dude needs to change his underwear, cuz it’s obviously in a bunch.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   WanderingPenguin bang

    LOL Katz – good on ya for being such a good sport. ;)

    I know what you mean about “sounding it out”: I do the same thing and it ain’t always foolproof, let me tell ya!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #148   lauralaiwc

    katzndogs, i tend to do the same thing with my grammar checks. for the most part, it works like a charm :)

    i had a pain in the ass boss at my previous job but he couldnt hold a candle to these people. rediculous. he wanted us to all wear skirts the same length, that kind of thing. didnt go over well with the guys, though.

    actually, he was pretty anal over the height of papers in the inbox (he liked there to be something in there because it made us look busy?), the way we arranged food in the fridge, and printer paper had to be stacked a certain way. so i guess i did work for a freak.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #149   Sophie

    Grammar & Spelling: Mine is pretty good but my husband’s is attrocious. Its not his fault… his whole family was hard of hearing except him and none of them can spell clearly. He’s a super-smart guy and it took me a long time to realise that perfect grammar and spelling might help with first impressions, but it doesn’t mean that much after a while.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #150   Mishee bang

    I hear you there Sophie #149 – my husband is the same – he’s super duper smart and loves to read, etc, but can’t spell worth a damn (and don’t get me started on his penmanship!) – me on the other hand, I used to proofread my father’s (he is an optical engineer and loves 50cent words) work papers when I was 10 years old! At my dad’s request!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #151   Anna-banana

    What are 50 cent words?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #152   Mishee bang

    Big words Anna, like, lugubrious, or another one of his favorites is perspicacious… He’s got a whole arsenal of them…

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #153   Katzndogz bang

    Some 50 cent words:

    f**k
    s**t
    n***a

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #154   zsa

    #143- katzndogz~~ I do the same thing- out loud for stuff that isnt “working” for me- but had to stop at work because they all started asking me if I was ok.
    Something about my saying the same sentence over and over (think Kramer “these pretzles are making me thirsty”) was worrying them.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #155   Al Hanso

    I’d like to request a picture of these new white enamel in-boxes.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #156   zsa

    Or maybe it was the AK-47 and bottle of vodka in my bottom left file cabinet …evil laugh…

    Sep 20, 2007 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #157   Kai bang

    I worked for someone like Mr. Executive Vice President here. I worked as a waiter, and my supervisor insisted on a white dress shirt, no wrinkles, black pants with no pockets and black shoes. Plus, my hair had to be tied back (it is shoulder length). I came in from a rainstorm and my shirt was wet, that was not acceptable. I had to wait until it dried off before I could work. My favorite shoes were not acceptable, either. They were black, but there are silver pieces where the laces go, and a white bit near the bottom of my shoe. Not okay. I had to buy some pure black shoes that hurt my feet. But at least I matched. If I came to work with a white polo shirt, or black pants with pockets, or I forgot my special shoes, I got reprimanded. It was a serious ding in my employee eval. I never want to wear a fake tie again…

    Sep 20, 2007 at 2:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #158   GhostWriter

    I think we need to go ahead and get Mishee started on her husband’s penmanship, ‘n-kay?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 3:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #159   Mishee bang

    GW, you and I are more alike than you know – you seem to be quite the Instigator!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #160   GhostWriter

    …in fact, I am currently developing a theory that Mishee and GhostWriter are, in fact, one and the same!

    …in fact!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 3:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #161   Dave Ward

    I can’t wait until the “fucking delicious” joke dies. It was pretty funny the first few hundred times. Yeesh.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #162   lauralaiwc

    another 50 cent word:

    m****e

    all in good fun ;)

    FUCKING GOURMET!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #163   Mishee bang

    Dave Ward’s comment was fucking delicious!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #164   lauralaiwc

    if you ignore some things, they go away.

    if you bring them up all the time, they will not.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #165   lauralaiwc

    mishees fucking delicious comment about dave wards comment was fucking gourmet.

    im changing it so it doesnt irritate him anymore, but its in the same vein so we can still have some fun ;)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 4:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #166   Mishee bang

    So now it would be “That bread was fucking gourmet”? Hmmmm… I wouldn’t consider Outback gourmet food… In fact, when going to eat, I don’t consider Outback at all!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 4:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #167   lauralaiwc

    *sigh*

    im not refering directly to that post.

    im having it evolve.

    change things up a bit. you know, like a couple that has been married for years, trying something new. keep it interesting. its like adding whips and handcuffs. unless thats something you were already into.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #168   lauralaiwc

    and outback is ok, but the only thing i ever get there is this grilled chicken that costs too much, so i only go when i know im not paying. and the bread is meh. but the fried apples rock.

    i want tira misu.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #169   Wade bang

    or golfcarts, lol!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #170   Mishee bang

    Well, I guess we need to either go with “fucking delicious” or “fucking gourmet” so that we can be uniformly present….

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #171   GhostWriter

    HoldIt Right There (H.I.R.T) – You actually go to the Outback Steakhouse and order the chicken?

    …at a Steak House?

    Why not order the salad, Geez!

    …or maybe, “Nothing for me- I’ll fill up on bread and eat something when we get home.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #172   Spreggels

    The VP in Note #1 is a huge racist.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #173   lauralaiwc

    because theres an protein enzyme in steak that makes me swell up like a pregnant whale, thats why. thanks for asking :-p but i love steak. so it is a tragedy.

    let everyone decide for themselves, but im sticking to fucking gourmet.

    i have never seen ENAMEL inboxes. it sounds so elitist. white…elitist…inboxes…hmmm….

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #174   GhostWriter

    BTW- I’ve always been uniformly opposed to, and typically disappointed with, the f*cking food superlatives, unless they are snuck in through the side hatch; for example, didn’t claw71 once ramble on about his albino anaconda being voted the most f*cking delicious serpent in Ohio?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #175   GhostWriter

    …and somehow he picked up a chick by doing so?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 5:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #176   lauralaiwc

    see, at least thats clever. just throwing in the phrase at the end of a sentance requires no effort. i vote that whoever does not use the phrase in such a clever manner be boiled in stolen beakers until their skin turns a bright shade of purple.

    i cant see a clever place to sneak the phrase in there, so i wont even try.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #177   lauralaiwc

    LMAO at your “p.s.” GW!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #178   GhostWriter

    Hey, that reminds me- has anybody yet made a comment about how the residue in the beakers might taste?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #179   Wade bang

    #178

    GW – Canthz did…comment #5

    We have almost come full circle, lol.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #180   morpho aurora bang

    wade – that’s what happens when you ride around in golfcarts :)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #181   anna-banana bang

    laura…there’s a Chinese restaurant near me called Roseville Gourmet. I’m going to open one across the street (in direct competition) called Fucking Gourmet. And I’m going to serve egg foo young and chow fun out of residue-filled beakers of AS beakers and SC pipettes.

    Maybe fry up a few ‘potstickers’ and eggrolls on the Bunsen burners.

    How’s THAT for some MSG?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #182   anna-banana bang

    Maybe that’s how MSG was created in the 1st place? Leftover residue…a preservative, no less!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #183   Almost Mishee

    Dear Chemistry Group,

    We have not been using your glassware. We have been hiding it, as it is hideously ugly. The chef motif is not at all “cute”. Please replace your glassware forthwith.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #184   anna-banana bang

    But we DO like those placemats…NOT!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #185   Canthz_B bang

    #181 Anna, that sounds gourmet-licious!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #186   anna-banana bang

    Si, Senor!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #187   Canthz_B bang

    Make sure that once an order is taken the ticket is placed in the white enamel in-box next to the chef station.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #188   Canthz_B bang

    Period.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #189   Wade bang

    Morpho

    I was responding to lauralaiwc #167

    lola and canthz started a new sex craze (see comments #31, 34, and #49 forward)

    Things get wild after midnight, lol.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #190   Canthz_B bang

    Chemists can learn a great deal about acceptable punishments from Alberto Gonzalez.
    Locking the cabinets is so 20th century.
    The world changed on 9/11/2001.
    Send the offenders to Gitmo…that’ll learn ‘em!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #191   Wade bang

    Morpho

    I re-read your post with my eyes on.

    Yes, that IS what happens in golfcarts…so I’ve heard.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #192   Canthz_B bang

    Hey Wade, Lola, Morpho and I need a fourth, care to tee up?
    Anna-B how’s your golf game? Tee Hee

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #193   morpho aurora

    wade – i wouldn’t know about golf carts either
    now bulldozers, umm never mind

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #194   Canthz_B bang

    Better yet, hire the EVP from note #1 to manage the labs from letter #2. He’ll whip that place into ship shape in no time.
    First he’ll replace a glassware with white enamel.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #195   morpho aurora bang

    canthz – yep the white enamel is not optional. period.
    i really want to know what this person is the evp of.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #196   Wade bang

    @ Canthz – I’d have to dust off the old Brassie

    @morpho – yowza!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #197   Andy bang

    Dave Ward: Well, it’s just that PS on that original note is so spiteful, that it brings back those great memories.

    That being said, I will try my best not to use the term. Well, not too much. Maybe I can get a patch for it. :)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #198   Wade bang

    The Acme Enamel and Glassware Company.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #199   Canthz_B bang

    The AE&G Co. is fu—-oh, nevermind.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #200   morpho aurora bang

    i just noticed somehthing about note #1
    just under the buttons “You replied on 5/21″
    wonder what the reply was
    mine would have gotten me in trouble

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #201   Canthz_B bang

    #196 Wade–”Old Brassie” is going to be my new nick-name for my schlong. Thanks.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #202   Wade bang

    Old Brassie and Boonkie, lolz!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #203   A.Thought

    Anybody think the glassware might be broken and not taken?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #204   GVI bang

    #172 Spreggels- The VP in Note #1 is a huge racist.

    Hmm now that I think about it does sound like he is, why is it that he is replacing the black (italics, bold) in-out boxes with the white (italics,bold) in-out boxes?? Is he trying to say the black ones can’t do a good job?? Cantz we got a new case and i know you have Jesse on speed dial LMAO.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #205   GVI bang

    #203. A.Thought. I told these people a long time ago, that it was the cleaning people that took the glassware to wash it out because of the residue in there, but nooooo, no one wants to listen to me :( .

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #206   Wade bang

    Ok, if we are going back on topic :(

    Note #1 Phil (supposedly) delivered new white in-out boxes to everyone’s work stations. Use of said new white in-out boxes is not optional.

    Then the next sentence – If you have an in-out box…IF!?! I thought flunky Phil gave out new white in-out boxes all around. Period.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #207   morpho aurora bang

    wade – maybe phil only gave in-out boxes to certain people? sounds like somebody is playing favorites

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #208   morpho aurora bang

    #204 GVI if canthz gets in touch with jesse, he’ll find sharpton in the same place – they are both in Jena La right now

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #209   Wade bang

    Discrimination in the workplace is an ugly thing…almost as ugly as white enamel in-out boxes after two days of use.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #210   GVI bang

    What if the black ones were once white?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 8:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #211   morpho aurora bang

    why not just get gray ones in the first place? cubicle land usually is anyway, then everything matches

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #212   GVI bang

    That is true though, maybe EVP was trying to have some kind of fung shui thing going on.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #213   Wade bang

    Hmmm, good question GVI. What if they are taking the old black plastic ones, enameling them white…and the cycle continues.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #214   Canthz_B bang

    We could always send the black one’s to Neverland Ranch.
    Everything black that goes in there seems to get lighter.
    I miss 1977 MJ’s ‘fro and nose.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #215   Wade bang

    Has anyone ever seen a white enamel in-out box? The one’s I have seen are either metal (WWII gray), plastic (black or smoke) or wood (on other people’s desks).

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #216   morpho aurora bang

    #213 wade – maybe that’s why not everyone has a box phil’s waiting for the paint to dry

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #217   Wade bang

    I’m with you, Canthz. Everything changed after Off The Wall.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #218   Canthz_B bang

    Must be Chicago chic Wade.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #219   lola

    Since I got punctuated last night and had a long discussion on here about golf cart sex, I’m a little tired. (Thanks for that!)

    Thought I’d just pop on to say I agree that the glassware might be broken and not “missing.” Those things break pretty easily if they are heated over and over again. We used to break them so much in HS chem that the teacher made us start buying our own!

    That and people were stealing them to cook residual chemicals in their free time.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #220   morpho aurora bang

    lola
    y’all actually got to do stuff in hs chem? our teacher wouldn’t let us touch anything
    then again she had a hand puppet she used to teach us about mols

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #221   Canthz_B bang

    #200 Morpho–That reply should have been included :-(

    I know I would have had a thing or two to say.

    ****The bar at the right indicates that this is the bottom half of the page, the top half probably has the missing reply.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #222   Wade bang

    We used to toss small chunks of elemental sodium into the sink. Hilarity ensued.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #223   Canthz_B bang

    Check the cabinets in the Home Ec Classroom.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #224   Wade bang

    Morpho – Hand puppets? In HS chemistry?? Wow.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #225   morpho aurora bang

    alright canthz – what would you have said?
    i’m trying to decide between simple (just two words) and complete meltdown

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #226   Canthz_B bang

    I think I was high Jr. year. I really have no special chem class memories…just that Kurt W. was out for 2 weeks with Mono!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #227   morpho aurora bang

    yep hand puppets, complete with squeaky voice
    and exploding paint cans
    physics class was better, i spent the hour listening to music and making up titles for sci fi porn movies

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #228   GVI bang

    Sounds like you had fun back in high school Morpho.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #229   Wade bang

    Physics was teh suck for me. I was hit in the back of the head by a large ball bearing…dropped from a second story window. Acceleration due to gravity is a bitch.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #230   morpho aurora bang

    it was fun until my lab partner got expelled – then they found our movie notebook in his locker and turned it over to his mom – told her he needed to be in therapy and so did the other person involved – thank god he never told them it was me

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #231   Canthz_B bang

    Dear pencil dick, queer eye VP,
    Keep your fashion sense to yourself! I spent 8 intolerable hours at this desk and I will bloody well decorate it to my liking.
    If I choose a mink covered in-out box it is still my in-out box! Just send the damned work out and mind you damned business.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #232   Wade bang

    Period.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #233   morpho aurora bang

    canthz – yours is better than mine
    i was just stopping at:
    dear vp
    fuck you. period.

    where do you find a mink covered in-out box? a live mink would certainly cut down on what makes it into the box.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #234   morpho aurora bang

    sorry, i have no information on that project. the mink ate my memos.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #235   GVI bang

    That memo was ….

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #236   Canthz_B bang

    Can be found at “Pimpin’ Out Office Supply”,
    69 MLK Blvd, Chicago IL 60609.

    I’d name her Shredder!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #237   morpho aurora bang

    about golf carts and lip service, what else? ;)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #238   Canthz_B bang

    GO FOR IT GVI…HAVE SOME BALLS!!!

    FUCKING DELICIOUS!!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #239   morpho aurora bang

    gvi – that was probably supposed to be finished with the forbidden phrase but i couldn’t resist submitting my version

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #240   GVI bang

    I do not want the ladies coming down on me for saying it, good luck with that one when they see it Cantz lol.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #241   Canthz_B bang

    Wade, a large ball bearing falling two stories at 17ft /sec/sec huh?
    Well…that must explain it! LOL :-)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #242   Wade bang

    ;)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #243   Canthz_B bang

    I’m screwed.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #244   Canthz_B bang

    What’s my excuse?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #245   Wade bang

    in a golf cart.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #246   morpho aurora bang

    canthz – temporary insanity from the residual chemicals?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #247   GVI bang

    You lost your sense of conciousness and it led to your obnoxity.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #248   Canthz_B bang

    Gawd help me I love youze guyzz

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #249   Wade bang

    Canthz – #1 at Stirring Up Trouble. :D

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #250   Canthz_B bang

    Oh,No! Is there a way to turn that counter off?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #251   GVI bang

    Ok i’m burned out with this note.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #252   Wade bang

    Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #253   GVI bang

    Cantz dare i say that you have become the new M.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #254   Canthz_B bang

    Curse your eyes GVI!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #255   Wade bang

    O PAN God, those whom You have punctuated beseech Thee! Bestow upon us another note of passive aggression, that we might mock it.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #256   GVI bang

    Belive me you do not want to see the new note.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 10:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #257   BoggyWoggy

    Coment #257.
    2+5=7.
    Now, time to read a new note and get some creativity going, all.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 12:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #258   marla

    Damn, I thought you guys would make it to 300. Must try harder.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 2:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #259   ottney argyle

    Enjoy your AIDS.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 5:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #260   lauralaiwc

    #215, finding wood on other peoples desks is always quite the experience, no?

    my only memory of chemestry class is my lab partner mixing chemicals we were specifically NOT asked to mix and it blew up all over the place. hence the reason why its my only memory of the class, i think i still have glass shards in my head.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 11:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #261   bessie

    note 1: team graffiti the white enamel trays

    note 2: team get your own damn glassware:
    1. as someone who works in the science department of a large college, i promise that residual chemicals are cleaned out.
    2. however, it is really fucking annoying when you go to use the glassware you just got in and find that more of half of it is missing because someone forgot to order their own.
    3. being married to one, I can tell you that scientists know absolutely nothing about grammar.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #262   Tamara

    Concerning the poor grammar of the chemist, a fair number of scientists are foreigners who speak English as a second, third or fourth language.

    Concerning scientists in general, most know proper grammar as one’s funding can be denied for improper use and for misspellings.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 5:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #263   A.Thought

    going for 300?

    Enlighten me re: Note 2.

    What group besides the Chemistry group would use the glassware?

    Sep 21, 2007 at 10:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #264   Mrs L Carrot

    Note one. Period?? Clearly what he was about to have, this note is nothing if not pre-menstural.

    Note two? The IT Crowd turns bad… eeek!

    Cheers

    Mrs LC

    Sep 26, 2007 at 7:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #265   Keal

    I have bought my office products from office max on good discounted price at couponalbum.com..

    Oct 2, 2007 at 1:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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