our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in portland, oregon. oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.
then there’s this one, which james’s roommate found in the laundry room of his sacramento apartment complex.
150 responses so far ↓
#1
whOOt
ftp?!?
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:42 am rating: 0
#2
jess
maybe that’s a note for one of his other personalities?
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:56 am rating: 0
#3
Jaquelyn
Note one: Obviously, the writer forgot we make washing mashines with agitation built in, and was stirring her socks with a large spoon. Then, since her child was sitting too close to the television (which causes many diseases), she left her socks and spoon to pull him away—leading the owner of the door to think it may be a free for all.
Note two: That is one grateful person. The next time she does her laundry, I will steal her towel and dryer sheets so she can always be this happy. Just being thoughtful.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:00 am rating: 0
#4
Jaquelyn
Oh, and team unnecessary underlining.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:02 am rating: 0
#5
Andy
OK, I love the first one. Single underlining, double underlining, almost one long sentence. Awesome. What the hell would you do with socks AND a large spoon with a silver end?
Secondly, what sells this note is that they have to explain taking equals stealing. I think that blaming someone for never being comfortable doing laundry again is just an excuse for being a lazy, smelly-clothed slob.
That spoon was fucking delicious, by the way.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: 0
#6
Canthz_B
Note one: the only way to consume such lovely socks as yours’ is with the silver spoon you were born with up your butt.
Note two: Thank YOU for leaving me a towel with which to wipe off the cat food cans I stole a while back, and the dryer sheets to fluff it up after the wash. You are all too kind.
Both notes: Stop leaving your things lying about…your mother does not live here!
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 0
#7
lucie
so the first time i read the first note, i thought that it is most likely from a crazy ex significant other, who at one point in the relationship blamed something on temporarily losing a conscious sense of things (maybe a new age couple?) and PA is being even more PA by using the line again in the note.
Anyone else get that vibe? Maybe I’m reading too much into it.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:55 am rating: 0
#8
Canthz_B
Good read Lucie.
Sep 19, 2007 at 2:05 am rating: 0
#9
Canthz_B
“I don’t know why I slept with her Baby, I just lost my conscious sense of things. Please forgive me. I left my socks at her place. Can I borrow a pair of your socks while I eat these Cheerios with your special spoon?” LMAO
Sep 19, 2007 at 2:10 am rating: 0
#10
marla
The first one is great because it raises so many questions. As for the second one: how much do you want to bet that she misplaced her towel and dryer sheets.
Sep 19, 2007 at 2:17 am rating: 0
#11
lisa
I swear, there’s a laundry snatcher out in Sacramento–or James lives in the same complex I used to. I used to get random clothes stolen from the dryer all the time. I still lament the really great skirt that made my butt look awesome.
Sep 19, 2007 at 2:32 am rating: 0
#12
Canthz_B
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…It was your awsome butt that made the skirt look great! Tee-Hee…:)
Sep 19, 2007 at 2:37 am rating: 0
#13
Canthz_B
“Awesome”…spelling gremlin bit again!
Sep 19, 2007 at 2:39 am rating: 0
#14
Dave Ward
Oh, the poor victim of laundry-snatching will forever suffer PLTSD (post-laundry-thieft stress disorder). Henceforth the April-fresh scent of Downy will trigger traumatic flashbacks and the roar of tumble-dryers will haunt leave the victim’s eyes glazed, dark, sunken and hollow…
Sep 19, 2007 at 5:53 am rating: 0
#15
Dave Ward
Hello! No-brainer alert! Obviously the sock-thief was planning to dye the socks and so needed the spoon. Duh. Sheesh!
Sep 19, 2007 at 5:56 am rating: 0
#16
claw71
Because of you?
I will not leave dryer sheets on the washer lid
I will not let myself lose any more of my laundry
I will not take things the way you did
You stole my socks
I’ve learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never lay my towels on the drying rack
Because of you
I learned to spray Febreeze on my dirty clothes
So I don’t stink
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone who does laundry
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my spoon
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot stir
Because I know that’s my Bounce on your clothes
I’m forced to fake, a smile and a kind word
about one of my shirts
How can you possibly take
what wasn’t even yours to start with
Because of you
I never lay my towels on the drying rack
Because of you
I learned to spray Febreeze on my dirty clothes
So I don’t stink
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone who does laundry
Because of you
I am afraid
Sep 19, 2007 at 7:06 am rating: 0
#17
claw71
No, Canthz-B, it was the skirt. I stole it just for a joke but I tried it on and it made my butt look fabulous. I’ve seen Lisa since and her butt has gone from Jessica Alba to Eliza Dushku. It’s a magical skirt.
Sep 19, 2007 at 7:11 am rating: 0
#18
Minox
note #1 = strange. Very strange.
note #2= am I the only person who doesn’t leave my clothes unattended? Claw71’s lovely Reba remake hits it on the mark, I trust no one, and take a book along with me to help the time pass as they tumble into a state of warm fluffy happiness.
Sep 19, 2007 at 7:27 am rating: 0
#19
Team Cassandra
“Concious sense of things”…I love those kinds of phrases. like the word “obnoxity”, it is the kind of thing one says when one becomes SO pissy they lose their concious sense of the way the english language works.
If you are *trying* to make someone crazy, its your first hint at success! (not that *I* would ever try to make anyone crazy, of course;)
Sep 19, 2007 at 8:32 am rating: 0
#20
Team Cassandra
Those dryer sheets were fucking…
Wait. If I do that, am I stealing someone’s job???
Sep 19, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#21
Team Cassandra
pps: yes - I can spell conscious. But only if I check first.
Sep 19, 2007 at 8:35 am rating: 0
#22
dawn
I love the handwriting in the second note.
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:32 am rating: 0
#23
Heather
I like how both notes use “thank you” in very different ways. At least they’re polite.
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:33 am rating: 0
#24
Katzndogz
I love the “h” on the door. It’s so cute! I know, I’m strange.
A couple of weeks ago I was taking my clothes out of the dryer when I noticed there were some other clothes mixed in. I know that the dryer was empty when I put mine in there, so it’s pretty obvious that someone put theirs in too so that they could get them dry at my expense.
Ewwwww!
Wait, it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day, so instead I shall say:
Arrrrrr!
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:35 am rating: 0
#25
BoggyWoggy
Okay…after living in dorms with huge, industrial laundry facilities, I learned, early-on, that people DO steal your stuff, even right out of the washer, where things are still wet, and then wear your shit! Once, while riding the elevator up to my 6th floor “suite,” I saw my jeans on this chick! I tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Hey. I used to have the exact same pants.” She just smiled and said, “The operative words are ‘used to.’”
My friend and I then followed her as she exited the ‘vator and watched as she opened her dorm door and went in. With a smile, we went up to our room and plotted our revenge…
to be continued…
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#26
Anna-banana
Note #1: I’m going down the road of whoever posted the New Age idea (I’m too lazy to re-check who). Thinking….lovefest in notewriter’s apartment and/or orgie where socks where the only article of clothing & the notewriter forgot theirs & had to borrow said socks from Apt h. And silver spoons bringing to the event was de rigeur, however it is only ‘now’ (haven’t they always?) that ‘temporarily’ (why not permanently?) Apt h ‘may’ (or may not) have ‘lost their conscious sense of things’ (or could they still be unconscious?). Maybe the large spoon with the silver end is an important tool in such event for notewriter
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:43 am rating: 0
#27
T-Bone
“…lost your conscious sense of things…”.
What does that mean? I have a sneaking suspicion it means nothing at all. Notewriter wanted to fill up the page with brittle words.
As to the second note, I never feel comfortable doing laundry. Because it sucks.
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:43 am rating: 0
#28
Anna-banana
oops ‘were’
or where socks wearing
and I’m still waiting for my password to be reset, you too, Canthz?
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:45 am rating: 0
#29
T-Bone
Katzendogs: Thank you for the reminder! We should all stand together and recognize International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Revised laundry area note:
“AVAST YE SCALAWAGS! To the lily-livered scurvy dog that stole my towel, dryer sheets and silver-handled spoon! Return ye the riches or I’ll cut ye throat from stem to stern and stuff ye black, rotten heart in the depths of the bunghole!
YAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!”
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#30
Katzndogz
I await more of BoggyWoggy’s bloodcurdling tale of the bilgerat that plundered her britches.
(that didn’t sound right)
(or did it?)
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: 0
#31
the sos
team i don’t trust anyone not to steal my shit while it’s in the wash - not even at an attended laundromat. book, laptop, cell and multitasking.
Sep 19, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: 0
#32
Sharona
Really, the sight of this baby would play hell with anyone’ s conscious sense of things:
http://www.raybrookfrog.com/antlersalad.html
The worst thing that ever happened to me in a shared laundry room was having my wet clothes dumped on the dusty floor by someone who wanted the machine. Even so, I used to worry about my underwear being stolen by some fetishist and used for unthinkable purposes. Maybe I should have put up a sign thanking all the skeevy-looking men in my complex for putting such thoughts in my head.
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:04 am rating: 0
#33
Wade
Thank you, Terry(cloth)!
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:07 am rating: 0
#34
lola
Someone stole five or six pairs of my jeans from the communal dryer BEFORE the machine was even done!!! And at least TWO of those pairs made my pre-baby ass look outstanding!
This happened, of course, in the only ghetto in Iowa. Ah, early college years…
People who steal ass-hugging jeans suck!
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:44 am rating: 0
#35
GhostWriter
Does anybody else remember the Gilligan’s Island episode (#85) where Gilligan temporarily lost his conscious sense of things?
As I recall, the Professor revived it with an experimental potion; one he used to make back in college. The key ingredients for his brew were fermented mango juice, volcanic ash, and pair of ladies socks, (i.e., Mary Ann’s) stirred briskly with a silver spoon.
Now that everything is back to normal, Mary Ann is simply asking for her stuff back. The last scene of the episode was her knocking on the hut (h) door, with Gilligan hiding behind it- sipping more of that consciousness-expanding tea.
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:50 am rating: 0
#36
Mr DeBakey
How tough can this be?
The socks are under the bed with the dust bunnies
The spoon is in the garbage, it was all burned on the bottom
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:51 am rating: 0
#37
Fraulein N
I was going to ask who would want someone else’s laundry, but then I remembered there are weirdos out there who will steal goddamn cheese crumbles and moldy sandwiches. Yarrgh.
BoggyWoggy, I sincerely hope you punched that jean-thieving ho in the back of her head.
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:58 am rating: 0
#38
WanderingPenguin
Screw the notes, what’s more P/A than starting a good story and posting “to be continued….” and then never continuing? Come on! I need to hear the rest of that story!
And a warning to Andy: there’s some poor sap lurking about on here whose sensibilities get all in a tizzy if you post that such and such was fucking delicious. Apparently it completely screws up their day! Expect a slap from the self-appointed posting police over that one.
Also still waiting for my password….since yesterday.
Sep 19, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#39
tweedle
Har, GW! I’m transported.
Sep 19, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 0
#40
mere
ARRRR! me thinks the spoon is the plank and the socks walked them. drrrrrEYErrrrr sheets should neverrrr be used by ye scurvey scum who steeeeals … ARRRRR
(sorry, but katzendogs is right, it’s TLAP day!)
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#41
lauralaiwc
hahaha. i laughed at both of these. thankfully i dont have to do my laundry in a public setting like that, but if i did, i would sit on top of the machine with my stuff in it. i mean, with all my silverwear in there in all, its bound to provide for a fun ride.
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:14 pm rating: 0
#42
mere
terry(cloth)
good one wade!!!
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
#43
Anna-banana
That 1st note really is nonsensical. How about someone may have temporarily lost their conscientiousness about the nature of who’s stuff is whose?
Wow. This topic could really wax existential, you know? Where’s claw when you need him?
And to my favorite species of penguin (the wandering kind)….still waiting on mine, too! Damn!
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#44
Anna-banana
terry (cloth)…too cute.
How about ‘Polly(ester) wanna cracker?’…arrrgghhh!!!! Pirates, ROCK!
Sep 19, 2007 at 12:44 pm rating: 0
#45
Wade
ARRRGH, parhaps Long John SilverEnd be up to his piratin’ ways, plundering laundry rooms for single towels and dryer sheets to polish his pilfered spoon and keep his stolen socks static-free.
Team TLAP
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#46
Canthz_B
#24 Katzndogz…ARRRR, I just noticed (thanks to you) why that letter disturbed me. Who uses lower case letters on apartment doors?
The font looks like Sesame Street!
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:04 pm rating: 0
#47
Canthz_B
Yes Anna-Banana…still waiting for password.
All things in time I suppose.
Should I “play the race card”? ROTFLMAO
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:09 pm rating: 0
#48
lauralaiwc
are socks really such unique things that grabbing someone else’s pair wasn’t deliberate thievery?
i havent gotten a password either. is anyone else who is waiting on that a hotmail user? im wondering if that has something to do with it.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:12 pm rating: 0
#49
Canthz_B
Ahh, Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island, now those socks must have been delicious!
Ginger’s tasted like a whore house sans air-conditioning in August.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:18 pm rating: 0
#50
Katzndogz
I tried to register, but it told me that that name was already taken. So I tried a different name, and it told me that there was already an account with that e-mail. Uh…wha? Somehow I think I would know if I’ve already registered. Clearly, PAnotes.com is passive-aggressively trying to tell me that it doesn’t want me to register. What do I have to do to win your favor? Swab the poop deck?
Thank you Terry
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#51
Canthz_B
#41 lauralai: better have that stolen towel at the ready if you’re going to put your “stuff” on a washer during the spin cycle. Tee-Hee :-p
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#52
Canthz_B
Have we angered ye oh PAN God?
Pray thee give us strength to stay on message.
Send your flock passwords so we may properly honor thee for these great notes.
Amen
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:29 pm rating: 0
#53
Amused
The handwriting in the second note looks very similar to the gang-related graffiti I see all over Atlanta.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: 0
#54
Canthz_B
Password received!
I think it was the power of prayer, I did NOT call Al Sharpton!
Thank you Oh PAN God!
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#55
Canthz_B
GVI…”Ugly Orange” is now Beautiful Blue.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#56
Katzndogz
I never saw orange. Those that are registered have a whimsical exclamation mark next to their name. Otherwise, if the name is in blue, it is because they have a link in their name, and the rest of us are in black.
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:48 pm rating: 0
#57
Canthz_B
Katz…The comment number turns blue for registered folks in addition to the !!!
Sep 19, 2007 at 1:51 pm rating: 0