Sophisticated dryers use silverware when they eat your socks

September 19th, 2007 · 151 comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in Portland, oregon. Oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.
Now I realize that you may have temporarily lost your conscious sense of things, however, please return my socks and my large spoon with the silver end. Thank you

Meanwhile, James’s roommate found in the laundry room of his Sacramento apartment complex.

Thank you got taking (stealing) my towel and dryer sheets! Because of YOU I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry - I don't know if you are going to steal my clothes. YOU SUCK.

FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · laundry · neighbors · Portland · Sacramento · spoons · stealing · thanks (but not really)


151 responses so far ↓

  • #1   whOOt

    ftp?!?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   jess

    maybe that’s a note for one of his other personalities?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Jaquelyn

    Note one: Obviously, the writer forgot we make washing mashines with agitation built in, and was stirring her socks with a large spoon. Then, since her child was sitting too close to the television (which causes many diseases), she left her socks and spoon to pull him away—leading the owner of the door to think it may be a free for all.

    Note two: That is one grateful person. The next time she does her laundry, I will steal her towel and dryer sheets so she can always be this happy. Just being thoughtful.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Jaquelyn

    Oh, and team unnecessary underlining.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Andy bang

    OK, I love the first one. Single underlining, double underlining, almost one long sentence. Awesome. What the hell would you do with socks AND a large spoon with a silver end?

    Secondly, what sells this note is that they have to explain taking equals stealing. I think that blaming someone for never being comfortable doing laundry again is just an excuse for being a lazy, smelly-clothed slob.

    That spoon was fucking delicious, by the way.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Canthz_B

    Note one: the only way to consume such lovely socks as yours’ is with the silver spoon you were born with up your butt.

    Note two: Thank YOU for leaving me a towel with which to wipe off the cat food cans I stole a while back, and the dryer sheets to fluff it up after the wash. You are all too kind.

    Both notes: Stop leaving your things lying about…your mother does not live here!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   lucie

    so the first time i read the first note, i thought that it is most likely from a crazy ex significant other, who at one point in the relationship blamed something on temporarily losing a conscious sense of things (maybe a new age couple?) and PA is being even more PA by using the line again in the note.

    Anyone else get that vibe? Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B

    Good read Lucie.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Canthz_B

    “I don’t know why I slept with her Baby, I just lost my conscious sense of things. Please forgive me. I left my socks at her place. Can I borrow a pair of your socks while I eat these Cheerios with your special spoon?” LMAO

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   marla

    The first one is great because it raises so many questions. As for the second one: how much do you want to bet that she misplaced her towel and dryer sheets.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   lisa

    I swear, there’s a laundry snatcher out in Sacramento–or James lives in the same complex I used to. I used to get random clothes stolen from the dryer all the time. I still lament the really great skirt that made my butt look awesome.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B

    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…It was your awsome butt that made the skirt look great! Tee-Hee…:)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B

    “Awesome”…spelling gremlin bit again!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Dave Ward

    Oh, the poor victim of laundry-snatching will forever suffer PLTSD (post-laundry-thieft stress disorder). Henceforth the April-fresh scent of Downy will trigger traumatic flashbacks and the roar of tumble-dryers will haunt leave the victim’s eyes glazed, dark, sunken and hollow…

    Sep 19, 2007 at 5:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Dave Ward

    Hello! No-brainer alert! Obviously the sock-thief was planning to dye the socks and so needed the spoon. Duh. Sheesh!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 5:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   claw71 bang

    Because of you?

    I will not leave dryer sheets on the washer lid
    I will not let myself lose any more of my laundry
    I will not take things the way you did
    You stole my socks
    I’ve learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

    Because of you
    I never lay my towels on the drying rack
    Because of you
    I learned to spray Febreeze on my dirty clothes
    So I don’t stink
    Because of you
    I find it hard to trust
    Not only me, but everyone who does laundry
    Because of you
    I am afraid

    I lose my spoon
    And it’s not too long before you point it out
    I cannot stir
    Because I know that’s my Bounce on your clothes
    I’m forced to fake, a smile and a kind word
    about one of my shirts
    How can you possibly take
    what wasn’t even yours to start with

    Because of you
    I never lay my towels on the drying rack
    Because of you
    I learned to spray Febreeze on my dirty clothes
    So I don’t stink
    Because of you
    I find it hard to trust
    Not only me, but everyone who does laundry
    Because of you
    I am afraid

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    No, Canthz-B, it was the skirt. I stole it just for a joke but I tried it on and it made my butt look fabulous. I’ve seen Lisa since and her butt has gone from Jessica Alba to Eliza Dushku. It’s a magical skirt.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Minox

    note #1 = strange. Very strange.

    note #2= am I the only person who doesn’t leave my clothes unattended? Claw71′s lovely Reba remake hits it on the mark, I trust no one, and take a book along with me to help the time pass as they tumble into a state of warm fluffy happiness.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Team Cassandra

    “Concious sense of things”…I love those kinds of phrases. like the word “obnoxity”, it is the kind of thing one says when one becomes SO pissy they lose their concious sense of the way the english language works.

    If you are *trying* to make someone crazy, its your first hint at success! (not that *I* would ever try to make anyone crazy, of course;)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Team Cassandra

    Those dryer sheets were fucking…

    Wait. If I do that, am I stealing someone’s job???

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Team Cassandra

    pps: yes – I can spell conscious. But only if I check first.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   dawn bang

    I love the handwriting in the second note.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Heather

    I like how both notes use “thank you” in very different ways. At least they’re polite.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Katzndogz

    I love the “h” on the door. It’s so cute! I know, I’m strange.

    A couple of weeks ago I was taking my clothes out of the dryer when I noticed there were some other clothes mixed in. I know that the dryer was empty when I put mine in there, so it’s pretty obvious that someone put theirs in too so that they could get them dry at my expense.

    Ewwwww!

    Wait, it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day, so instead I shall say:

    Arrrrrr!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   BoggyWoggy

    Okay…after living in dorms with huge, industrial laundry facilities, I learned, early-on, that people DO steal your stuff, even right out of the washer, where things are still wet, and then wear your shit! Once, while riding the elevator up to my 6th floor “suite,” I saw my jeans on this chick! I tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Hey. I used to have the exact same pants.” She just smiled and said, “The operative words are ‘used to.’”
    My friend and I then followed her as she exited the ‘vator and watched as she opened her dorm door and went in. With a smile, we went up to our room and plotted our revenge…
    to be continued…

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Anna-banana

    Note #1: I’m going down the road of whoever posted the New Age idea (I’m too lazy to re-check who). Thinking….lovefest in notewriter’s apartment and/or orgie where socks where the only article of clothing & the notewriter forgot theirs & had to borrow said socks from Apt h. And silver spoons bringing to the event was de rigeur, however it is only ‘now’ (haven’t they always?) that ‘temporarily’ (why not permanently?) Apt h ‘may’ (or may not) have ‘lost their conscious sense of things’ (or could they still be unconscious?). Maybe the large spoon with the silver end is an important tool in such event for notewriter

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   T-Bone

    “…lost your conscious sense of things…”.

    What does that mean? I have a sneaking suspicion it means nothing at all. Notewriter wanted to fill up the page with brittle words.

    As to the second note, I never feel comfortable doing laundry. Because it sucks.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Anna-banana

    oops ‘were’

    or where socks wearing

    and I’m still waiting for my password to be reset, you too, Canthz?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   T-Bone

    Katzendogs: Thank you for the reminder! We should all stand together and recognize International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

    Revised laundry area note:

    “AVAST YE SCALAWAGS! To the lily-livered scurvy dog that stole my towel, dryer sheets and silver-handled spoon! Return ye the riches or I’ll cut ye throat from stem to stern and stuff ye black, rotten heart in the depths of the bunghole!
    YAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!”

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Katzndogz

    I await more of BoggyWoggy’s bloodcurdling tale of the bilgerat that plundered her britches.

    (that didn’t sound right)

    (or did it?)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   the sos

    team i don’t trust anyone not to steal my shit while it’s in the wash – not even at an attended laundromat. book, laptop, cell and multitasking.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Sharona

    Really, the sight of this baby would play hell with anyone’ s conscious sense of things:

    http://www.raybrookfrog.com/antlersalad.html

    The worst thing that ever happened to me in a shared laundry room was having my wet clothes dumped on the dusty floor by someone who wanted the machine. Even so, I used to worry about my underwear being stolen by some fetishist and used for unthinkable purposes. Maybe I should have put up a sign thanking all the skeevy-looking men in my complex for putting such thoughts in my head.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Wade

    Thank you, Terry(cloth)!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   lola

    Someone stole five or six pairs of my jeans from the communal dryer BEFORE the machine was even done!!! And at least TWO of those pairs made my pre-baby ass look outstanding!

    This happened, of course, in the only ghetto in Iowa. Ah, early college years…

    People who steal ass-hugging jeans suck!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   GhostWriter

    Does anybody else remember the Gilligan’s Island episode (#85) where Gilligan temporarily lost his conscious sense of things?

    As I recall, the Professor revived it with an experimental potion; one he used to make back in college. The key ingredients for his brew were fermented mango juice, volcanic ash, and pair of ladies socks, (i.e., Mary Ann’s) stirred briskly with a silver spoon.

    Now that everything is back to normal, Mary Ann is simply asking for her stuff back. The last scene of the episode was her knocking on the hut (h) door, with Gilligan hiding behind it- sipping more of that consciousness-expanding tea.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Mr DeBakey

    How tough can this be?

    The socks are under the bed with the dust bunnies
    The spoon is in the garbage, it was all burned on the bottom

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Fraulein N

    I was going to ask who would want someone else’s laundry, but then I remembered there are weirdos out there who will steal goddamn cheese crumbles and moldy sandwiches. Yarrgh.

    BoggyWoggy, I sincerely hope you punched that jean-thieving ho in the back of her head.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   WanderingPenguin

    Screw the notes, what’s more P/A than starting a good story and posting “to be continued….” and then never continuing? Come on! I need to hear the rest of that story! ;)

    And a warning to Andy: there’s some poor sap lurking about on here whose sensibilities get all in a tizzy if you post that such and such was fucking delicious. Apparently it completely screws up their day! Expect a slap from the self-appointed posting police over that one.

    Also still waiting for my password….since yesterday. :(

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   tweedle

    Har, GW! I’m transported.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   mere

    ARRRR! me thinks the spoon is the plank and the socks walked them. drrrrrEYErrrrr sheets should neverrrr be used by ye scurvey scum who steeeeals … ARRRRR
    (sorry, but katzendogs is right, it’s TLAP day!)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   lauralaiwc

    hahaha. i laughed at both of these. thankfully i dont have to do my laundry in a public setting like that, but if i did, i would sit on top of the machine with my stuff in it. i mean, with all my silverwear in there in all, its bound to provide for a fun ride.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   mere

    terry(cloth)
    good one wade!!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Anna-banana

    That 1st note really is nonsensical. How about someone may have temporarily lost their conscientiousness about the nature of who’s stuff is whose?

    Wow. This topic could really wax existential, you know? Where’s claw when you need him?

    And to my favorite species of penguin (the wandering kind)….still waiting on mine, too! Damn!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Anna-banana

    terry (cloth)…too cute.

    How about ‘Polly(ester) wanna cracker?’…arrrgghhh!!!! Pirates, ROCK!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Wade

    ARRRGH, parhaps Long John SilverEnd be up to his piratin’ ways, plundering laundry rooms for single towels and dryer sheets to polish his pilfered spoon and keep his stolen socks static-free.

    Team TLAP

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Canthz_B

    #24 Katzndogz…ARRRR, I just noticed (thanks to you) why that letter disturbed me. Who uses lower case letters on apartment doors?
    The font looks like Sesame Street!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Canthz_B

    Yes Anna-Banana…still waiting for password.
    All things in time I suppose.
    Should I “play the race card”? ROTFLMAO

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   lauralaiwc

    are socks really such unique things that grabbing someone else’s pair wasn’t deliberate thievery?

    i havent gotten a password either. is anyone else who is waiting on that a hotmail user? im wondering if that has something to do with it.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Canthz_B

    Ahh, Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island, now those socks must have been delicious!

    Ginger’s tasted like a whore house sans air-conditioning in August.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Katzndogz

    I tried to register, but it told me that that name was already taken. So I tried a different name, and it told me that there was already an account with that e-mail. Uh…wha? Somehow I think I would know if I’ve already registered. Clearly, PAnotes.com is passive-aggressively trying to tell me that it doesn’t want me to register. What do I have to do to win your favor? Swab the poop deck?

    Thank you Terry

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Canthz_B

    #41 lauralai: better have that stolen towel at the ready if you’re going to put your “stuff” on a washer during the spin cycle. Tee-Hee :-p

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Canthz_B

    Have we angered ye oh PAN God?

    Pray thee give us strength to stay on message.
    Send your flock passwords so we may properly honor thee for these great notes.

    Amen

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Amused

    The handwriting in the second note looks very similar to the gang-related graffiti I see all over Atlanta.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Canthz_B bang

    Password received!
    I think it was the power of prayer, I did NOT call Al Sharpton! :-)

    Thank you Oh PAN God!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Canthz_B bang

    GVI…”Ugly Orange” is now Beautiful Blue.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Katzndogz

    I never saw orange. Those that are registered have a whimsical exclamation mark next to their name. Otherwise, if the name is in blue, it is because they have a link in their name, and the rest of us are in black.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Canthz_B bang

    Katz…The comment number turns blue for registered folks in addition to the !!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Katzndogz bang

    Now I have a nifty exclamation point. Because I’m not just Katzndogz. I’m Katzndogz!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Canthz_B bang

    Hey Katzndogz!, why do I feel like there will be a pod under my bed when I get home tonight?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Canthz_B bang

    I’ll check but probably only find a pair of socks and an old silver-handled spoon!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   lauralaiwc bang

    sweet i have one too (i hope)
    is it like a badge of honor? will it change as we get more involved????

    no, i hope not. that would mean to much time on ones hands, lol.

    #51, canthz, id bring a wet towel to snap people with as they either walked by or gawked at me. that’ll learn ‘em ;)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   VembaTsith

    Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
    Neo: What truth?
    Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
    Neo: There is no spoon?
    Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

    It is neither the sock nor the spoon that is lost, it is only yourself.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Canthz_B bang

    Master Po: In order to find the path of the sock Grasshopper, become one with it.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Wade

    Ralph D. Ellis: “Representation in the realm of non-conscious information processing becomes representation in a conscious sense when motivational feelings lead us to ‘look for’ that which is considered important…”

    like socks and silver ended spoons.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   claw71 bang

    Harry Chapin said it best:

    A towel was lost just the other day
    I put it in the dryer the usual way
    But there was popcorn to nuke, and porn so gay
    I left it dry but it was stolen away
    And it was midnight before I knew it and when a looked
    My clothes were takenb by a crook, I said my clothes were taken by a crook

    And the sock’s in the hamper with the silver spoon
    They ran off with the towel to get away from the loon
    I can leave a note but they won’t come home
    It looks like I’m all alone, man, it looks like I’m all alone

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   mere

    : applause:
    (to claw)

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   Anna-banana

    Note #1 has a VERY clear message…you just have to re-arrange the underlined words to read:

    Message #1: Please socks, may conscious sense things.
    So, this clearly indicates that the dweller of Apt h is nicknamed ‘Socks’.

    Message#2: Spoon the end, with large silver.
    Of course! This translates to: these people are into spooning. And the notewriter prefers to be ‘spooned from behind’. And the large silver….uh…large silver dildo. Classic!

    Message#3: This one was the most difficult: it reads….Thank you. So, thank you for spooning me from behind with the large silver dido, Socks, and may you consciously sense that this is what I want from you.

    Awww!!! So, sweet. A secret message between spooning lovers…..

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   anna-banana bang

    I’m official!!!

    Yeah!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Wade

    Claw! ROFLMAO!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 2:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   mere bang

    let’s check this out…
    am i on? is this thing working?
    am i all !!!’s ?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   mere bang

    is this thing on? i was just 404′d (error). GRRR.
    i wanna see if i’m all !!!’d.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   mere bang

    great, now i have TWO comments .. seriously..
    well, make it three.
    ha. ha. ha. ha. haaaa!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Canthz_B bang

    Ya got a brotha bawling claw. Waaaah!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   lauralaiwc bang

    anna, your translation is magnificent. if only we had realized tis at the very begining we would have saved ourselves the trouble!!!

    you know, another translation could be that the sock hooked up with the spoon, so we can expect some sort of odd hybrid in the future.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   lauralaiwc bang

    well, i bet apartment h is where EVRYONES socks vanish to on the planet.

    does anyone else have that problem? i used to think my dryer ate them. but now i know better.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Canthz_B bang

    Boggy you’re killing me…what ever happened to the purloiner of pants?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   Katzndogz bang

    Booooggggyyyyyy!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   cre8tivewmn

    “h” is in a coma and has lost his “conscious sense of things.” The notewriter feels that is no excuse for not returning her socks and spoon, though.

    Ah apartment living, with communal laundry rooms – usually dark, dank corners that you wouldn’t want to hang around. Alas, if you want to keep your stuff, you should watch it while you wash it.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   claw71 bang

    In all honesty this is exactly how I got through college without ever doing laundry. Disposable clothes, man. That was awesome.

    As for Boggy’s story my guess is that they slipped the britches bandit a mickey and took her clothes when she passed out. Then they took the nearly naked sasson snatcher to the TEP house and left her there to be ravged by nerds.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   Canthz_B bang

    Note one is a bit creepy. After a relationship ends normal people accept some small losses.
    To kvetch so over a pair of socks and a spoon?
    A protective order may be wise apt “h” guy.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   Canthz_B bang

    I wondered for weeks how my son seems to never do laundry. I snooped in his room last week and the boy has over twenty pairs of those baggy-assed hip-hopper, you look like the suspect jeans! It appears he’s never heard of wash and wear, he opts for buy and wear.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 3:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   claw71 bang

    You need to confront him on the pants. Doesn’t he know that baggy pants are just a plot by the white man designed to keep him down?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Canthz_B bang

    LOL, you’ve got it claw! How fast can a brotha run with his pants around his ankles?

    On a more serious note, my eldest son once had a speeding ticket in a more affluet town nearby. They tried to get him to consent to having his photo taken when he went to pay it.
    I told him to pay the ticket only, to not give his photo for their line-up cards. Any fool could have made a mistaken ID on him.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   claw71 bang

    Well, canthz, you know all y’all look alike. It’s an honest mistake.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   anna-banana bang

    I like my little exclamation point. I’m a part of the club!!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Canthz_B bang

    Mishee I suspect that if you are not logged in the exclamation point will not show.
    I cannot be sure, not being an IT guy.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   Canthz_B bang

    All the more reason to stay off of the radar claw.
    Survival of the fitest…disposable clothes, 45 min rule on food and don’t give your mug shot to Five-O are all viable survival techniques.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   claw71 bang

    Yeah, that’s pretty smart about not giving the hog squad your picture seeing as how our criminal justice system will happily substitute a black man for THE black man.

    Then you have lunch burglars like me telling HR that Tyrone was in the break room acting suspicious just before I walked in. And of course Tyrone always looks suspicious because he’s wearing baggy pants.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   Canthz_B bang

    TYRONE—-Take your lunch to work and eat at your frigging desk for at least the next week—and get some dress pants Bro!!
    LMAO

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Mishee bang

    Yes, as soon as I had hit submit I went “DUH” and I realized the exclaimation point would tip everyone off…

    As for getting my name first, I registered the first day we were able to!! What do you take me for, peoples!! Comon now!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   GhostWriter

    This just in… further Note Two analysis : :

    The writer says, “Thank you for stealing my towel, now I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry…” Fer Chrissakes, who wears a towel to do their laundry in a communal laundromat? Are we talking Kramer, here?

    So now the writer has to switch back to wearing clothes in the laundry, but remains skittish, becasue (s)he “…doesn’t know if you are going to steal [his/her] clothes.” …the clothes right off his/her back!

    “How does it feel to live in fear?”
    -Roy Batty

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Canthz_B bang

    Rhetorical question I hope! LOL

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   Canthz_B bang

    #95 intended for #93

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   Mishee bang

    Very rhetorical! Please don’t answer that!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   Oveta

    Today I have decided that lauralaiwc is destined to become a stand up comedian.

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!?!?!?!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   Mishee bang

    I, too, hope to see lauralai putting her comedic talents and charm into a movie opposite, say perhaps, Dane Cook, one of these days…. (psst, lauralai, sneak into his trailer while he sleeps and snip a lock of hair for me…!) LOL

    Sep 19, 2007 at 4:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   claw71 bang

    Gawd! Dane Cook, indeed. Here’s a guy who steals other comics’ jokes, delivers them poorly and somehow becomes a star. He looks like a cross between Paul Rudd and Robert Wuhl. Dane Cook is why Mypace.com should be banned.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   GhostWriter

    Yaa- What’s all the fuss about this Dane Cook shmuck? His act’s so half-baked and swiped, they’re starting to call him, “a window sill apple pie

    no, really- pie’s great; I love pie…

    Sep 19, 2007 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   Mishee bang

    First of all, Dane Cook was the first comedian to come to mind, secondly no matter what comedian I had chosen you guys would’ve ripped anyone apart, so there is no winning…

    I hate being in a Catch-22, but it is such a familiar place to be! How bittersweet and such… blah blah blah…

    Sep 19, 2007 at 6:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   GhostWriter

    Wew wouldn’t have ripped into you if you had said, “Borat

    Sep 19, 2007 at 6:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Mishee bang

    Wow, Borat, that’s a low blow… what if I had said “Jimmy Fallon” or “Will Ferrell”? Or “Eddie Izzard”?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 6:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   GVI

    When am I going to get my ! :( i feel left out. Oh great PAN GOD, please bless me with a wonderful ! so that I may feel part of the club.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   Canthz_B bang

    Tha.’s what worked for me GVI, prayer to the PAN God, se #’s 52 and 54…tenminutes elapsed from prayer to password…awesome.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Wade

    Oh great PAN God, take pity on me, for I am exclamationless and forsaken.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   GVI bang

    Haha sucks for you Wade, I just got mines LMAO

    Sep 19, 2007 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Wade

    GRRRR!

    Wait, it’s still Talk Like A Pirate day…

    ARRRRRR!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   claw71 bang

    Shit. There goes the ! neighborhood. Fucking liberals with their affirmative action. Next thing you know I’m going to have to publish my comments in two languages.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   Canthz_B bang

    Three when the Hispanics get here!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Wade

    Claro que si, Garra71.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   Canthz_B bang

    Porque?

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   GVI

    Wat u talkin bout willis!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   Canthz_B bang

    Hey, beats me. I got a C in Spanish 30 years ago! That post is about all I have retained.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   GVI bang

    Oops I didn’t even realize I got logged out.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Wade

    GVI – I thought for a moment you had been cast back down with the punctuationless masses.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Wade

    That first note looks like something Arthur would have left for the Tick (which would also explain the loss of a conscious sense of things).

    Spoon!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   Wade bang

    I think that the PAN God has smiled upon me.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   GVI bang

    Hooray for Wade, now you are part of the cool club.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   Canthz_B bang

    Big, Bad, Wade is in the hizouze!!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 8:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   Wade bang

    Thanks, y’all. I owe it all to PAN.

    Ok. Now that I am properly punctuated, let’s keep this thread drifting, lol.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   GVI bang

    So umm what did you guys get up to today other than work.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   Wade bang

    You mean, besides stealing a towel and some dryer sheets.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   GVI bang

    I ate some fuckin delicious socks that i stole today

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   GVI bang

    and lost my conscious sense of being by waiting for the next note.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   Canthz_B bang

    I took a really satisfying dump and wiped my boonkie with the taken (stolen) dryer sheets. Now my ass is so fresh that Billy Mays wants to sell it on TV!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   GVI bang

    Haha Cantz you totally made my day, you are so awesome (just like me).

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   Wade bang

    Boonkie?

    Now I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   Canthz_B bang

    It runs in the family Cuz! LMAO

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   Canthz_B bang

    Wade, My butt is so small it takes a magnifying glass to find it. As a consequence my late wife used to call me “Boonkie-boy”.
    Do the wash, it won’t bited…nibble maybe….

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   GVI bang

    I hate doing the laundry when i’m uncomfortable.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   Canthz_B bang

    BS GVI, the only time we do laundry is when we are uncomfortable….you know, you get down to clothes that you would never wear because everything else is dirty? Those are Laundromat clothes!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   Canthz_B bang

    talk about P-A notes…I have to go to the laundy…they post good ones there.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   GVI bang

    We should pray to the PAN God for a chat room or something, for times like this when we are just sitting around waiting on the new note.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   Wade bang

    You’re right, Canthz. I can face my fears (and laundry) . For I carry with me the exclamation point of PAN!

    Ok, enough of that.

    Hope you find something suitably P-A as you venture forth in your Laundromat clothes.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   Canthz_B bang

    GVI: I guess this becomes the de facto chat room that keeps us together as a community.

    Wade: You are forever protected by the amber glow on the blessed exclamation point, go forth head held high…you are one of the chosen many.

    Sep 19, 2007 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   lola

    I wanna get punctuated (whine whine whine)!!!

    Ooh, PAN god, punctuate me, baby. That’s the way I like it!

    Sep 19, 2007 at 10:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   anna-banana bang

    #112-we’ve already infiltrated this site.

    followed by

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   anna-banana bang

    I was trying to insert the appropriate ‘evil laugh’…but it censored me. What’s up with that?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 12:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   BoggyWoggy

    And now, the rest of the story (from #25)
    My friend and I got a piece of paper, a blow dryer, and an entire bottle of baby powder. Have you ever done this? Well, we did it…

    I created a cone-like funnel with the paper and slid the smaller end under the thief’s dorm door. I put some baby powder into the large end. We plugged in the blow dryer and put it on low…then, KABOOM! We used the blow dryer to create an explosion of baby powder all over her dorm room! It really worked! Of course, she came running toward the door, screaming from the inside! We dropped our crap and RAN!
    I know she didn’t learn a lesson…about stealing my pants…but, man! I felt better.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   morpho aurora bang

    boggy woggy – you may not have gotten your pants back, but at least you got revenge. and revenge is better than pants any day, yes?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   Canthz_B bang

    #141 I’d better brush up then Anna, That near failing grade just will not hold up.
    Como estas?

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   Canthz_B bang

    Boggy——- Jeans $3o, revenge Priceless!!!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   Canthz_B bang

    Anna#142…that’s just free speech.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   Canthz_B bang

    Sing along PANoPHILES…We are the world….

    Sep 20, 2007 at 1:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   WanderingPenguin bang

    LMAO – to think I almost missed the conclusion to the story. Thank goodness I checked back in here this morning!

    Thanks, BW, now I can sleep in peace. Er… much later today. ;)

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   Wade bang

    Boggy – Revenge is a dish best served blow dried.

    LMAO!

    Sep 20, 2007 at 9:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #146   lauralaiwc bang

    dah, thats what i get for trying to get a full 8 hours of sleep, i miss all the fun.

    sure, mishee, i can get a lock of hair for you, but you didnt specify from where.

    but im not a dan cook fan myself, though. so maybe ill just scalp him and be done with it :D

    Sep 20, 2007 at 11:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   Kitness bang

    #29 It makes way more sense to own a silver ended spoon if you’re a pirate.

    Sep 20, 2007 at 11:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #148   Olivia

    While most of the first few comments made me laugh, I have to say we have a winner:

    #16 claw71 on Sep 19, 2007 at 7:06 am

    Kelly Clarkson only wishes she could write such a hit.

    Sep 21, 2007 at 8:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #149   Liz

    LMFAO!!! # 16 Is so funny! I love it!

    Oct 11, 2007 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #150   scdwxghi nlktyw

    lxjpumd rblawnkhi luzy beazdts suknv hbloamwsi makqwxdg

    Nov 19, 2008 at 2:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #151   Coyote bang

    I see a lot of laundry posts here. I have always been amazed that people steal laundry.

    A friend of mine once surprised me with his aggressive-aggressive response to a laundry thief.

    My friend, who is a vegetarian, never raises his voice, and who, to my knowledge, never struck anyone in his life, caught a man coming out of our apartment complex’s laundry room – carrying my friend’s laundry.

    So he punched the guy in the face, causing him to drop the laundry and run away.

    I asked him, “Didn’t you say anything to him first? You just hit him?”

    My friend said “Coyote, he was stealing my laundry. What should I have said?”

    I really couldn’t argue.

    May 11, 2009 at 5:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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