Mona in Los Angeles brings us this pair of notes from her high-rise Century City office building. Says Mona, “Apparently my co-worker saw the panties at issue. My question is…who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work? Who does that?”
My question: Why are we letting Paris and Britney off the hook? If they actually remember to wear them, shouldn’t we encourage keeping them on?
And then there’s this one, which brings up the old mad bomber-era debate about which gender leaves the bathrooms in worse shape.
335 responses so far ↓
#1
emily
oof, thats a little tmi
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:03 pm rating: 10
#2
GVI
OMG!!! PAN God what the hell. Eww.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: 2
#3
Wade
Wow…be careful what you pray for.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:08 pm rating: 4
#4
dawn
Wow. Just, wow.
And the abandoned panties thing must have happened more than once to warrant a note, right? The mind wobbles [/kelly bundy].
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:13 pm rating: 13
#5
morpho aurora
oh…my…god.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:14 pm rating: 0
#6
Wade
Nice Judy Blume reference in the title, though.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:15 pm rating: 13
#7
Canthz_B
I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message. I will stay on message.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:16 pm rating: 0
#8
Andy
Bleah. Blood spots? ‘Nuff said with that one.
The first one confuses me. Britney and Paris DON’T wear panties, so they should be off the hook.
Ahhhh, the mention of the Mad Bomber. I miss those crazy nuts.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:17 pm rating: 1
#9
morpho aurora
in answer to why britney and paris are off the hook: you can’t leave behind what you don’t have on in the first place
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:18 pm rating: 1
#10
Wade
I think Britney and Paris are let off the hook because there is a market on eBay.
eww
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:18 pm rating: 3
#11
GVI
They forgot about Lindsey.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:21 pm rating: 1
#12
morpho aurora
and your mother doesn’t work here! (if she did, she’d kick your ass for this)
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:26 pm rating: 1
#13
Wade
Canthz – I was reading your note and it looks like you forgot a period…oh.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:27 pm rating: 24
#14
Canthz_B
NOW can we have cameras in the ladies room?
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:30 pm rating: 0
#15
Sharona
“Please put these items inside, not hanging out for others to see.”
They’re always trying to suppress my feminist art. Even the women’s room is not safe from the domineering gaze of the patriarchy! *sobs*
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 31
#16
Canthz_B
Left it in the men’s room Wade!
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 0
#17
GVI
#12 Morpho I know what you mean because I am sure anyones mother would not want to be picking up panties, putting tampons/pads in the receptacle, or even wiping up blood spots off the floor.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:32 pm rating: 0
#18
It's Me, Margaret
For the last time, I’m sorry I tried to flush that tampon down the white enamel thing on your desk. I thought it was a toilet!
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:34 pm rating: 4
#19
Jaquelyn
The producer of the first note must not have been too angry, the exclaimation point is quite small. Maybe they were the one who left the panties, and also happened to be the one in charge of making the signs.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:36 pm rating: 1
#20
Wade
Or she was too angry to Select All when she changed fonts.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 0
#21
Canthz_B
Just imagine all of that stained white enamel.
If the EVP from the last note is a female this just cannot be her company’s rest room.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#22
Wade
#18 ROFL!
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:40 pm rating: 0
#23
Wade
Maybe they thought the receptacle was for Tampax products only.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 0
#24
Spooky MILF
I used to work at a well known insurance company where the women’s bathroom was worse than the men’s. It’s pretty bad when the ladies room at work has a “booger wall” and you have to work with the women that put them there….EWW. This kind of activity doesn’t surprise me in the least. Makes ya wonder though what their home bathrooms look like.
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:45 pm rating: 0
#25
Canthz_B
#18 you rock…
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:46 pm rating: 0
#26
Canthz_B
I used to work in an office where the C.O.O would have “Twn Hall Meetings” of all staff.
Once a woman complained about the conditions in the Ladies’ Room.
He told her he would check the cleaning schedule but to the best of his knowledge only the ladies used that room so if it was a mess they messed it!
Sorry, but his comment really was delicious! An “AHHHHH” moved through the crowd!
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:50 pm rating: 1
#27
morpho aurora
#24 spooky – that was NOT a mental image i needed – i’m gonna go find some contaminated glassware now, an altered state of consciousness sounds kinda good. failing that, i’m going for burning out my mind’s eye
Sep 20, 2007 at 10:57 pm rating: 0
#28
anna-banana
The Mad Bomber has definately returned for a sequel. Instead of poo…she’s moved to feminine hygeine product displays as her new modus operandi.
And hey Canthz…thanks for the invite! I’m not so much a golfer, but am good at hanging off golfcarts as they zip around the courses.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:08 pm rating: 0
#29
whatever
Those panties were fucking delicious.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:09 pm rating: 2
#30
robins
if it’s your private bathroom and your hamper happens to be there and you leave your undies near them, who the f cares
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:19 pm rating: 0
#31
anna-banana
Canthz & GVI, I can’t believe that you guys haven’t yet written that it’s okay for just white chicks (P & B) to go sans panties. Why not Beyonce or J Lo?
Maybe that Century City lady had to wash-out her nasty panties in the company sink, ’cause she was afraid if she left them hanging to dry (say, for instance said laundry room) they too would be pilfered along with dryer sheets & spoons with silver endz.
Just a thought.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:27 pm rating: 1
#32
Canthz_B
Sistas y Latinas must march for Freedom of the booty!
What’s good for the goose is good for the swan.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:35 pm rating: 0
#33
Wade
A hush fell over PAN…
Except for that damn dog you can hear all the way to Iowa.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:35 pm rating: 2
#34
anna-banana
I can hear him, too…all the way to Cali
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
#35
Canthz_B
I was busy rearranging my Italian Chef placemats. I found the silver handled spoon in the dog’s house wrapped in panties and stuffed into a sock when I went out to hide today’s glassware haul.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: 0
#36
WanderingPenguin
I would like to know how Spooky MILF knows which bathroom was worse at her company. How often did she use the men’s? Is that how she got her nickname?
Hmm. Maybe I DON’T wanna know.
BTW, know how I know it’s no longer “International Talk Like A Pirate Day”?
They forgot an “ARRRRR” in the first note.
And I’m pretty sure that dog has been poochnapped.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:45 pm rating: 0
#37
WanderingPenguin
Also, I wonder if the two notes were left on the same bathroom door? I mean, the two situations could very easily be related. Did mona’s co-worker have a close look at those panties? Hmmm?
Ok, that’s getting so disgusting even I can’t stand it. Sorry.
Just be thankful they didn’t leave the panties hanging half out of the garbage and the TAMPON on the floor or sink or wherever.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
#38
WanderingPenguin
Damn.
I forgot to log in first.
On the upside: I’m really jazzed that when you log in you get taken to a page with a huge “WP” logo at the top of it. Whee! A site designed with ME in mind!
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:51 pm rating: 0
#39
Canthz_B
I think a curious MILF, perhaps working late, just had to peek and see what the guys did with their boogers.
BOOGERS BOOGERS BOOGERS
That makes me giggle for some reason! I don’t think I have ever typed “boogers”!
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:51 pm rating: 0
#40
GVI
Hey A-B #31 as far as I’m concerned all ladies can walk around uniformly sans panties (assuming the goods are healthy looking of course).
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:57 pm rating: 0
#41
GVI
LMAO Cantz go to bed you are getting tired, you’re losing it.
Sep 20, 2007 at 11:58 pm rating: 0
#42
Canthz_B
GVI booger, I agree booger with the booger need for healthy booger goods while booger sans panties booger.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:02 am rating: 0
#43
GVI
Ummm……yeah I feel you M. LOL
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:09 am rating: 0
#44
lola
Okay, is anyone else wondering what happened to the panties? Did someone pocket them? Take them to the police for a DNA sample and sniff test?
Hmmmm…. me thinks me smells a panty bandit. Or is that tuna fish?
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:24 am rating: 1
#45
GVI
It’s tuna, I hide my lunch in the bathroom so that the fridge raider won’t get it.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#46
lola
Good idea! I already do my studying on the john, why not pack myself a nice little lunch while I’m at it?
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:33 am rating: 1
#47
GVI
Especially with people like Claw running around here stealing anything that isn’t tied down, and to top it off we have the saggy pants wearing kind here also and you know how they are.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:37 am rating: 0
#48
lola
And you know why they have the saggy pants – more room to store stolen hotpockets.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:38 am rating: 0
#49
lola
BTW, I’d like to point out that while the “tampon trail” is committed by women, I’ve been in more than a few bathrooms after men where they did a dirty jackson pollock paint-by-anus number on the seat.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:42 am rating: 2
#50
GVI
Don’t make it about the men, this post is about messy tampon/blood stains on the floor women lol.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:46 am rating: 0
#51
BoggyWoggy
I hate this note. It isn’t even a good one. No more comments…
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:49 am rating: 0
#52
GVI
Yes ma’am. Period
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:53 am rating: 0
#53
Crysilla
#34 Wade you rock! I love it when people reference old PA notes. That certain one really struck a cord with me.
My absolute favorite is the bread being ordered and eaten by the roommate.
Guys, I come here like four or five times a day. The flaming is so hot here I’m too afraid to post but I want to let you know I get a kick out of everything ya’ll say.
Fuck those people who hate “team such and such” I love it when you do that.
p.s. the free doughnuts in the ladies room were delicious.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:57 am rating: 1
#54
Team Cassandra
Team Health Risk!
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:19 am rating: 0
#55
Canthz_B
#52 Boggy- I agree, not quite P-A just , just…ewww.
Lola-how can you tell man poo from woman poo? I use the panties as golf club socks.
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:29 am rating: 0
#56
Canthz_B
Careful of the jelly donuts Crysilla! LOL
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:31 am rating: 0
#57
marla
I bet if you guys keep at it you can reach 500 comments by 5:00pm!
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:07 am rating: 0
#58
tweedle
Don’t tase me, Bro!
O.K. Just wanted to utter that delicious phrase.
Now: where could Claw72 be?
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:21 am rating: 0
#59
tweedle
71
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:23 am rating: 0
#60
tweedle
, that is.
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:23 am rating: 0
#61
tweedle
Bed time!
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:23 am rating: 0
#62
Dave Ward
Those blood-soaked tampons were fucking…
Oh, never mind.
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:37 am rating: 0
#63
Jen
“And the abandoned panties thing must have happened more than once to warrant a note, right?”
Dawn is the only commenter who gets it! P/A or plain old A notes really shouldn’t be about one bizarre freak occurrence, should they? They’re about things that happen again and again until someone blows a gasket and writes a note. God only knows how those panties ended up there, but if it only happened once, the finders should just have a laugh.
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:24 am rating: 0
#64
claw71
I think we all know that great Statler Brothers hit(to the tune of “Flowers on the Wall):
Dirty panties on the wall
in the bathroom down the hall
A health risk for everyone
could you please wipe up your blood
And could you please flush the toilet after you poo
please don’t forget it’s easy to do
I thought that I had seen it all living with four guys
piss on the seat and rocket pubes it’s like they don’t have eyes
but bloody tampons are pretty gross at least that’s what I think
and it’s hard for me to wash my hands when socks are in the sink
Dirty panties on the wall
in the bathroom down the hall
A health risk for everyone
could you please wipe up your blood
And could you flush the damn toilet after you poo
please don’t forget it’s easy to do
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:41 am rating: 0
#65
lola
big booming voice: “Man poo vs. woman poo. See it tonight on the UFC.”
It’s all about the timing. When it seems to appear mysteriously after the same person goes to the bathroom, you tend to figure it out! Same thing with the floating tampons. That’s gross.
I wouldn’t be writing a PA note, I’d be calling the CDC!
Sep 21, 2007 at 8:48 am rating: 0
#66
lola
Rocket pubes!
Sep 21, 2007 at 8:49 am rating: 0
#67
Fraulein N
Oh my damn. A fucking booger wall. At work. Now I’ve heard of everything.
I’m on Team Whoever Wrote That 2nd Note because seriously, ladies. I don’t think the men’s room could possibly be any worse than some of the shit I’ve seen (literally) in the ladies’ room. I think something about the anonymity makes some women want to release their inner cavegirl.
Sep 21, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: 0
#68
ShagNBag
ROLLLLF!
No not rolling on the floor laughing, that’s the sound I just made tossing my cookies leeward.
Sep 21, 2007 at 9:58 am rating: 2
#69
hools
I feel like I could have written #2. Oh my word, I went into the bathroom the other day and saw what looked like homicidal blood spatter on the stall wall. I mean damn, women! When you handle the goods, don’t go flinging them around like a lasso! It makes me embarrassed to have ovaries.
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:01 am rating: 3
#70
GhostWriter
I believe the 1st note to be misleading; the author secretly wants to find more panties (but only from hotties).
Beyond that, I am completely out of my element on this one.
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 0
#71
Annie
Boogers is a word that makes me giggle too.
I HATE when I go into the ladies room and find evidence that some people aren’t ladies in there… they are hogs!
Once I went into a bathroom stall after a little old lady came out – sweet little white-haired granny… that woman musta been doing the hula as she peed – how else could she have covered the entire freaking seat!?!?!?!?
If your butt is so precious you can’t sit on the seat, well clean up your precious pee, as we think a pig left that lovely sprinkling and don’t reallyKNOW that it was, in fact, a precious person with precious pee… to us it is gross pee from a gross person… so, ya know… clean it up, or leave your home address so I can come over and pee all over your seat..
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:31 am rating: 3
#72
tweedle
DON’T drink the kool-aid, and for god’s sake, don’t eat the jelly donuts.
Another classic, Claw (7one).
Found the following to jar my memory ’bout the melody of Statler Brothers’ song. They are some right freaks, they are. Strangely earnest as they harmonize about Captain Kangaroo.
I like their pretty version of Shenandoah, in the ‘related videos’ column. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbreGl_ZFM4
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:39 am rating: 0
#73
Wade
Is it passive-aggressive behavior to comment on old posts because you don’t like the current one?
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:42 am rating: 0
#74
tweedle
DON’T drink the kool-aid, and for god’s sake, don’t eat the jelly donuts.
Another classic, Claw (7one).
Needed to jar my memory ’bout the melody of Statler Brothers’ song. They are some right freaks, they are. Strangely earnest as they harmonize about Captain Kangaroo.
I like their pretty version of Shenandoah, in the ‘related videos’ column. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbreGl_ZFM4
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#75
Mishee
After the rash of comments I’ve just read I can’t wait to see the PAN God’s Google search terms results now!
Boogers, tampax, panties, blood… and of course the big pull will be Paris Hilton and Britney Spears… and I think someone mentioned Lindsey Lohan too…. Interesting…
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:56 am rating: 0
#76
GVI
So Mishee, are you the kind of girl who goes around sans panties?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: 0
#77
claw71
When I read stuff like this it makes me wonder why more guys aren’t gay. Sure, we’re pigs but that’s better than being a walking biohazard. I’ll take a couple of drops of pee on the seat over period penants anyday.
Funny, how nobody brought this subject up during the Vagina Monologues.
Seriously ladies, everybody knows when you’re on your period. You don’t have to leave bloody tokens behind to remind us. That chunk you took out of my ass for making too much noise while opening a can of Pepsi will be sufficient.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:08 am rating: 5
#78
Oveta
#76 – Obviously.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:28 am rating: 0
#79
Mishee
GVI – a lady never reveals such intimate details!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#80
todd
there are some days in my life where i wish it were possible to continue on with the human race WITHOUT women. today is one of those days.
/flings a tampon at authority
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#81
Goldie
Claw71, at least we don’t pee on the walls (and, on some occasions, the ceiling), because, OMG, we have morning wood and we just can’t aim!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:44 am rating: 2
#82
Anon
#80 Hey Todd, guess what – it IS possible to continue the human race without men (ah, modern science), so why not just be grateful we let you hang around, huh?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: 2
#83
Mishee
Todd, pretty much every day of my life I wish it were possible to continue on without men… soon though, soon… I see a future where we keep them locked up until needed for pleasure or to take out the trash, or open a pickle jar… then we just shut them down and put them back in the closet or under the bed… wherever they will fit. We can harvest them for procreation, and the little girls will be raised like princesses, while little boys will be brought up to be like their fathers – mindless slaves only around to service the Female Race…
Ahhhh, one day… one day….
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: 2
#84
lauralaiwc
ladies, you know those little purse hooks on the inside of the bathroom stalls where you hang your purse so it doesn have to touch the icky floor?
i was in a gas station (ewwwwwwww i hate gas statio bathrooms), and as i was in motion of haning my purse up, i discovered a heavily used tampon that had been tied around the hook.
there was a sign below it requesting that tampons not be flushed, but there was no trash can in the bathroom…
*shudders*
its a memory i want to erase. i dont use purse hooks anymore. or gas station bathrooms, as a matter of fact.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: 0
#85
lauralaiwc
some guys should just sit to pee. thats all i have to say on the matter. pop a squat, point it south, and THEN pee.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:51 am rating: 1
#86
WanderingPenguin
Maybe, lauralai, but sitting to pee does not solve the “morning wood” problem.
Sorry, TMI?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:55 am rating: 0
#87
Wade
#83 “put them back in the closet” lol
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 0
#88
claw71
That whole “morning wood” issue would be resolved if you ladies would be kind enough to do a little morning buffing.
That’s it, sweetie, just reach down and give it a good wank…that’s the stuff.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:14 pm rating: 0
#89
Mishee
Ever cross your mind claw that maybe you just choose women who are afraid of one eyed albino anacondas? (that is what you claim, right? do you drive a Ferrari too? hmmmm…..)
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 1
#90
lauralaiwc
my sitting to pee comment was totally unrelated to morning wood.
#88, ive heard thats one of the most pleasant ways to wake a guy up in the morning. so ive heard.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#91
mere
claw (comment #77)- “That chunk you took out of my ass for making too much noise while opening a can of Pepsi will be sufficient.”
HI-larious.
and sooo true.
as for the notes: um, i don’t want to know about the situation for #1, and i REALLY don’t want to know what happened in #2 (although it’s pretty obvious).
ugh..
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#92
lauralaiwc
some women are capable of being even-keeled during that time, you know.
its RARE. but it DOES happen. because some of us realize that the world isnt to blame for our raging hormones, so why take it out on the poor guy sitting next to us?
they(whoever they are) also say orgasms are FANTASTIC for cramps. so ive heard. which might make some of you shudder, thinking of all that entails.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
#93
Mishee
Lauralai, why would a woman WANT to be even keeled? It’s our once a month pass to be the bitch we want to be the rest of the month!!
I certainly use it to my advantage, it makes me feel a bit better. Plus the whole sympathy thing is great too… But then there are the actual symptoms, which is a dirty trade off, but like I said, being a bitch just makes the best of a bad situation in my opinon.
But of course I am not as bad as I used to be, I used to just want to kick my cat for, you know.. being alive and near me…
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:37 pm rating: 0
#94
WanderingPenguin
Just as long as you don’t kick your cat all the way to Iowa, you should be ok.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
#95
lauralaiwc
i just dont like doing that to other people. i hate it when i run into menstual women and they are even bitchier than ever because they use it as an excuse. they may not even be legitimately pissed, they just use that time to be a hellion, and i think that is deplorable and i refuse to partake in that sort of activity.
thats just me though. but it means i keep my friends for longer. if im cranky, i just go to the gym and hit the punching bag untikl im NOT cranky. i get to work on my kickboxing and take my stress out on an inanimate object. everyones happy.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 1
#96
lauralaiwc
NICE, WP, nice!
i hate cats.
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:42 pm rating: 0
#97
Goldie
#88 claw, what if it’s the lady’s teenage kid? I’m sure what you suggest is illegal in most states…
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:44 pm rating: 0
#98
lauralaiwc
goldie, darling, i dont think it matters.
but i bet he would prefer a brittish nanny
Sep 21, 2007 at 12:46 pm rating: 0
#99
Mishee
Unfortunately it’s hard for me to wake my hubby up that way since he’s been in the clink one too many times, when he’s sleeping he’s on the defensive. I might get a black eye if I try to do that without him being semi-conscious.
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:07 pm rating: 0
#100
lauralaiwc
im processing how viable i think that statement is…
hmm….
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:22 pm rating: 0
#101
three day blog
Where do I go to put in a request to use the men’s bathroom from now on?
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:22 pm rating: 0
#102
lauralaiwc
just sneak in.
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#103
morpho aurora
#95 lauralai – the worst thing about women using it as an excuse to be bitchy – when one of the rest of us has a legitimate complaint, some idiot responds with “She must be on her period”
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#104
lauralaiwc
exactly. its the boy who cried wolf thing. i think women who use it as an excuse should have their ovaries shriveled with a blow torch. thatll give them something to whine about.
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:27 pm rating: 2
#105
BoggyWoggy
The second note was written by a complete idiot. Women are in a hurry in the restroom and do not have time to correctly dispose of personal hygiene materials. See, the workforce relies on us…and if we waste time in the restroom at work, keeping things neat and clean, offices around the country would collapse. Besides, we provide job-security for custodial staff. Also, there are specially designed gloveware (i.e. latex) which will protect such workers.
In regards to the first note, I cannot help but wonder if Senator Craig has anything to do with this note. I heard that there was a similar note in the men’s room at the airport. It said, “Unless you are Senator Craig, don’t leave your boxers in the men’s room.”
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: 0
#106
lauralaiwc
i think women that gross should be forced to use an outhouse.
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: 1
#107
Mishee
lauralai, that’s like, the most disgusting visual I’ve had in a while – a biffy with a big pile of steaming… used tampons… wonderful.. thank you!
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#108
claw71
The menstrual cycle is a bitch but before you know it along comes menopause and just like that you look like Bea Arthur.
And then there’s Maude…
Sep 21, 2007 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
#109
claw71
Guys don’t have any serious biological shift where the plumbing just shuts down and shrivels into oblivion. Are those ovaries or peppercorns? Yeah, prostates swell on occasion and the willie becomes a little less willing but no hot flashes for us.
The whole libido thing is why young girls latch on to old rich guys. All gifts and no sex. At least until Viagara rolled around, now you little tarts have to work for that money…especially when those four hour erections pop up. It’s going to be a long night, candy pants…better bring a friend.
That’s why they call Viagara “Sugar Daddy’s Revenge.”
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:06 pm rating: 0
#110
anna-banana
Gross…once some nasty chick (probably this SAME one) flew on the same flight as me. She left her bloody-tampon calling card on the lavatory seat as a gift.
So…sweet!
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:12 pm rating: 0
#111
tchotch
Gosh, Claw, I guess you were waiting for an appropriate moment to bring that up, eh?
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:26 pm rating: 0
#112
lola
I absolutely hate when women use their periods to be bitchy. And usually those are the same women who are bitchy or highly emotional ANYWAYS, but just ten times worse one week out of the month.
My sister was like that growing up. Spawn of the devil, I swear!
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
#113
anna-banana
Where’s Zsa? She could REALLY have a comment about PMS and the like.
Not sure about bloody tampons, though….
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:38 pm rating: 0
#114
GhostWriter
Did Mishee (#99) just imply that she is a lonely desperate housewife whose hubby’s in the clink?
Sep 21, 2007 at 2:46 pm rating: 0
#115
claw71
No, GW…
Mishee implied her husband has been in jail a few times where he was sexually abused therefore he doesn’t like to wake up to a how’s your father.
Of course Mishee doesn’t get it. In prison there are no reach arounds. Trust me on that one.
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
#116
Mishee
I didn’t mean to imply he has actually BEEN abused in jail – that’s why he’s jumpy – you gotta sleep with one eye open.
As for the reach arounds, I assume you know this from personal experience claw?
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:03 pm rating: 0
#117
Goldie
Sugar Daddy’s revenge. I swear, you learn something new every day.
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:04 pm rating: 0
#118
anna-banana
Mishee…brother in lock-up & hubby in & out. What’s up you and your association with jailbirds?
And you, too? Are you in the Silicon Valley clink? Spending your days emailing posts on PAN, counting the days until you’re sprung?
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:26 pm rating: 0
#119
the sos
i had a neighbor who was an “artist”. she decided to do a piece using “used” tampons…i’m a phlebotomist and drew her blood so they would look real but somehow seem less gross??? i thought that was pretty over the top (and thoroughly icky) until i read these notes – and you freaks’ comments on said notes
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:29 pm rating: 0
#120
BoggyWoggy
#112 (lola)
Thank you for your comment. It’s such a bummer to see stupid women say, “Be careful…I’m expecting a visit from ‘Aunt Flo.’” I hate their weakness and need for validation. Women who do this need to be slapped. I’ve never used it as an excuse for being bitchy. Being bitchy is a special thing…on its own. Grrr…
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:35 pm rating: 0
#121
Canthz_B
#119, sorry A-B, Goldie.
Sep 21, 2007 at 3:49 pm rating: 0
#122
lauralaiwc
why would a chick date a guy she couldnt have sex with baffles me. meh, i never understood why girls want to go after the sugar daddies. shallow.
and i hate it when women use their periods to not come in to work, or to explain why they are being lazy, whatever. im not saying the syptoms are fun, but laying at home feeling sorry for yourself and eating bon bons makes it WORSE ,i have found, because all you are doing is thinking about your misery.
like i said, i like abusing the punching bags at the gym
Sep 21, 2007 at 4:01 pm rating: 0
#123
Mishee
Actually anna, I went on a date with this guy one time and was kinda into him until he told me he had done a week one time… then it kinda turned me off… guess I just go for the bad boys…
And no, I am not on the Elmwood (county lock up here) Vacation, I did 36 hrs once when I was 18 for not paying a fine and I was cool on jail after that….
Sep 21, 2007 at 4:02 pm rating: 0
#124
lauralaiwc
#120…im a creative individual, but that is STRANGE. no one wants to see used tampons! regardless of what kind of blood it is! lol!
what was her meaning behind the piece, im curious though. it would at least be eye-catching, thats for sure.
Sep 21, 2007 at 4:03 pm rating: 0
#125
claw71
Why did you have to go and attack bon bons? Have you ever had a bon bon? They’re delicious. Actresses, the nerve.
As for the art work, didn’t the head hag for L7 yank her plug out on stage and whip it off into the audience? Yes it’s nasty but somebody had the nerve to fling it back at her. I think I would have passed out.
There’s a hairy-legged segment of pseudo-artisitc women out there who think that they are making some kind of social statement with used tampons. Maybe they’re just hoping that they’ll numb men to the concept so we won’t break into a cold sweat when were asked to buy them.
The problem, ladies, is that we don’t know what to get. Have you really stopped to take a look at the section of the local store? JEEZ! God forbid we pick up the wrong product. Especially given your emotional state. I’m educated enough to know the difference between pads and plugs but even if you get the right genus there’s still the question of species. Wings or no wings? Plastic applicator or cardboard. Braided wick or standard string? AND WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL THAT “UPGRADE” BITCH TO SHUT UP??? I’VE GOT YOUR UPGRADE, RIGHT HERE!!
And what about size? Will my girlfriend be upset if I get Canyon-fillers or should I flatter her with the slender teen version?
Sep 21, 2007 at 4:21 pm rating: 3
#126
the sos
honestly, i only pretended to listen when she told me about it (it’s still not any less biohazardly and that really bothered me). i think it had something to do with mothers and daughters, violence against women, or feminism. or all of the above.
shit, i don’t know. it was weird. i drained her blood, gave it to her, and got the shit outta there. you think austin has artsy freaks – until you come to denton and realize we get all the austin rejects…
Sep 21, 2007 at 4:54 pm rating: 0
#127
the sos
claw, i’m a chick and even i get confused in the tampon aisle sometimes.
Sep 21, 2007 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
#128
GVI
I feel like I get in a labirynth whenever Mrs GVI sends me to get her feminine stuff, i always come back with a sad look on my face and nothing in my hands.
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:10 pm rating: 0
#129
WanderingPenguin
That’s weird, GVI, because whenever MY better half is in that condition I find I have something in my hands MOST OF THE TIME!
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:26 pm rating: 0
#130
GVI
LMAO!! I totally understand, but sometimes I be a guy and say something along the lines of “Your mouth isn’t bleeding”
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: 0
#131
lauralaiwc
lmao about denton and the austin rejects!!!! im not from either place, but thats f-in hilarious.
its disgusting. what if she had some sick disease? i think there are better ways of conveying her message that using her blood to do it…besides, you know and she knows its from not her vagina, but does anyone else know?
i think feminists…especially the super-feminist ones…do more harm than good because of their crazy actions. im all for women doing their thing, but earn it. dont use the fact that youre a woman to be the reason someone should give you something or do somethign for you.
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: 1
#132
WanderingPenguin
OMG – if I tried that she’d be the only one in the relationship without a bloody mouth!
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:33 pm rating: 0
#133
Mishee
WP, good to know that you know your place!! LOL, that mouth isn’t bleeding comment did take me back to last week. Seems he gets more frisky at that time, probably because he knows that he won’t have to do any work but will still get him some… butt head!
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:48 pm rating: 0
#134
anna-banana
Damn, GVI. Your girl talks some smack!
And Claw….you constantly amaze me. Who knew that you know so much about feminine hygiene products. But the REAL question is….WHY do you?
Enquiring minds want to know?
Maybe you’re really a chick trapped in a man’s body? Or a man trapped in a woman’s body? Or a ginat albino python traped in a woman’s body? Any of the above? Am I close? Hmmm…..
Boggy…..you do bitchy VERY well. And I LOVE it that you don’t apologize for it!
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:54 pm rating: 0
#135
GVI
Sometimes I mean it and sometimes I don’t, she just has to figure out which is which.
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:54 pm rating: 0
#136
anna-banana
I know how to spell…duh: giant albino python trapped
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:57 pm rating: 0
#137
GVI
A-B I say that to her lol, what kind of kinky stuff are you into?
Sep 21, 2007 at 5:58 pm rating: 0
#138
Canthz_B
Besides golf cart hanging A-B. LOL
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:15 pm rating: 0
#139
Canthz_B
GVI…If parting the Red Sea was good enough for Moses…..
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:17 pm rating: 0
#140
Mishee
I have to say I love the added note at the bottom of #2, especially the “eww” – sounds like something I would’ve done…
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:20 pm rating: 0
#141
Canthz_B
Probably added by a PAN contributer or at the very least a kindred spirit.
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:26 pm rating: 0
#142
GVI
It has a hint of Boggy.
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:30 pm rating: 0
#143
Canthz_B
When I was in college I had a “job Americans will not do” at a local IHOP.
As part of my duties I had to clean the restrooms.
More than once I found a used maxi-pad inside the toilet tank…not the bowl, the damned tank!!
What sick mind does that?
She could have at least left a tip for the poor schmuck (me) who had to handle her monthly visitor.
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:37 pm rating: 0
#144
morpho aurora
my husband would go to the store and find the quietest sweetest little blue hair he could, and ask her for help. embarrassed some of those ladies to death. so i started sending him with an empty package to match. didn’t help, he just enjoyed being aggavating. but at least he always brought home lots of chocolate
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:38 pm rating: 0
#145
morpho aurora
aggravating
sorry
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:39 pm rating: 0
#146
Mike
I’ve been a janitor for 20 yrs. and I’d have to say woman are sloppier shitters then men. Plus one of them keeps puking in the bathroom wastebasket. WTF is up with that.
When I cleaned at a college sports center the woman jocks would leave their used tampons everyplace but in the provided receptical.
Its all so disgusting.
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:41 pm rating: 0
#147
Canthz_B
The empty package route was my path to a quiet night as well.
And morpho, you would be surprised how helpful other women are to your man as he stands in *that aisle* looking bewildered. I think they think it’s cute that we are willing to go that extra mile for our lady…watch your back!
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:45 pm rating: 0
#148
anna-banana
What’s the protocol when using the toilet after a #2? ….And it’s a gooey one that clings to the sides of the toilet in a streaky residue while flushing? I’m inclined to flush a 2nd time and when the water level is very, very low grab a wad of T.P. and give the inside of the bowl a quick rub-down before the water level returns.
Any suggestions? What d’you all do?
And to my friend GVI: my kinkiness to be revealed in due time……
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:48 pm rating: 0
#149
Canthz_B
My protocol is “Leave it like you found it”. As far as how to get there…way TMI.
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:53 pm rating: 0
#150
morpho aurora
canthz – nahh, he had a thing for petite, mean and a good deal younger than him – so no worries there
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:54 pm rating: 0
#151
Canthz_B
LOL–Polar opposites! I like mine full-figured, sweet (undercover sensuous) and both of my wives were older than me.
Sep 21, 2007 at 6:57 pm rating: 0
#152
ijRoberts
#152 Anna-Banana
No way would I wipe down the inside of a PUBLIC bathroom toilet. Even if it WAS my own ‘cling-ons’. I’d flush it twice, but anything left over is considered stained and unremovable.
There’s only so much I’m willing to touch in a public bathroom, and toilet bowls isn’t one. =)
Sep 21, 2007 at 7:32 pm rating: 1
#153
Canthz_B
Public or private, leave it like you found it…ijRoberts if it’s your shit clean it! The next person has no need or want to view your non-unremovable excrement you dirty bastard you!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 7:41 pm rating: 1
#154
Canthz_B
DAMN!!!! “I flushed it twice and it’s still there, oh well?”
Scum like you generate notes!!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 7:43 pm rating: 0
#155
Wade
I have been considering lauralai’s orgasm observation #93:
Take the new sport tampon (no slip grip & 360 degree coverage), combine it with Oral-B
electric toothbrush technology…
Sep 21, 2007 at 9:58 pm rating: 0
#156
morpho aurora
wade – lmao!
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:09 pm rating: 0
#157
Canthz_B
Wade, call the patent office, then Billy Mays!
Got a catchy name yet?
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:26 pm rating: 0
#158
lola
#152 AB: I do the same thing, but only at home or when I shared one toilet with a few coworkers, and they would know whodunnit. I thought I was the only one with toilet OCD.
More useless info: A male coworker licked chocolate frosting off that very same toilet seat. This was for laughs after he was accused of not cleaning up his poo off the seat. Mmmm… tasty!
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 0
#159
lola
Wade – I like the way you think!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#160
morpho aurora
i’m just trying to imagine the infomercial for wade’s invention. somehow i don’t see it appearing on sunday morning with the ones for the juicing machine
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#161
Wade
Well, let’s see. Flowbee is already taken…
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:40 pm rating: 1
#162
Wade
Morpho
It’s more likely to run during the network nightly news…between the ads for Cialis and Flomax
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 0
#163
Wade
Wait! How about Flo-Maxi?
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
#164
Canthz_B
Can you imagine watching the amazing juicer doing home-made V-8 followed by Wade’s 28′th day hand held wonder-gasm?
I would never see V-8 residuals the same again.
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:46 pm rating: 0
#165
morpho aurora
wade – It Tightens! It Brightens! It Deodorizes, It Sanitizes! It Leaves a Healthy, Sparkling Finish! Now you to can go sans panties, with your very own ________!
And it’s yours, for three easy, monthly instalments!
I just can’t think of a name that works
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:46 pm rating: 0
#166
Canthz_B
I saw Alice and her maximum flow was deli…..EARL!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:47 pm rating: 0
#167
morpho aurora
#168 canthz, i was trying not to go there!
oh well, it’s friday, and i’m already hitting the chemicals in the glassware.:D
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:48 pm rating: 0
#168
Canthz_B
Flow-Gasm?
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:50 pm rating: 0
#169
Canthz_B
See PAN God, even given a sucky note we can stay pseudo-on message for 24 hours…but it is exhausting…must…have…new…note.
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#170
morpho aurora
flow-gasm could work
and the first 20 callers get a free kegel exerciser
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:54 pm rating: 0
#171
Canthz_B
#170 may be too old…loosing one’s cookies when I was a teen was referred to as “calling Earl”. Didn’t mean to slip into 1975 on youze!
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:55 pm rating: 0
#172
anna-banana
Lola…so glad I’m not the only OCD toilet freak either. That’s exactly why I clean it…so that THEY don’t think that I did it. And also why I wipe off the previous chick’s pretty pee on the toilet seat…sooooo that the person after me doesn’t assume (wrongly) that I did it!!!
We should start a club!!!
I like the 28-day orgasmer. Sign me up!”What about ‘OrgasmMaxi’?
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:56 pm rating: 0
#173
morpho aurora
canthz – please please don’t use the word suck in connection with this note!
we can always go back to the morning wood issue and suggestions for curing it
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:56 pm rating: 0
#174
morpho aurora
#176 a-b maxi, only if it came with wings
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:57 pm rating: 0
#175
Canthz_B
If you call in the next ten minutes we’ll throw in a 6-month supply of tampons, a $____ value absolutely free. And you get to keep that even if you return our product, trust me, we do’t want tose back!
Sep 21, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
#176
Canthz_B
#177….EARL!#179 “do’t”…Freudian slip? NO…”don’t”! “tose”=”those” (misspelled freudian slip?)
Time to seek counseling.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#177
anna-banana
What does your name mean aurora…I mean the morpho part?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:04 pm rating: 0
#178
morpho aurora
morpho aurora is a type of rainforest butterfly
since my real name is dawn and i like butterflies, it works for me
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
#179
Canthz_B
Morning Wood aiming is easy to handle, one needs to step back, lean forward securind one hand against the wall and using the other hand aim the gun barrel at the bowl and fire away!
And if it’s her time, pray you remember to raise the seat to start and lower when finished….or kill yourself (it’s so much cooler).
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:07 pm rating: 0
#180
Canthz_B
#182 Changing Lights? Is it a very colorful butterlfy?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:10 pm rating: 0
#181
anna-banana
That sounds pretty.
Are you the same poster who was Dawn awhile back?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:12 pm rating: 0
#182
morpho aurora
canthz – if a.m. wood is so easy to handle, why don’t guys just, um, handle it, instead of waking somebody up with requests for service?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
#183
anna-banana
You go girl!
That’s right!!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 0
#184
A.Thought
ooo, sassy!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:16 pm rating: 0
#185
Canthz_B
Different use for the same tool Morpho.
Sometimes its a pee pee woody….sometimes an angry one-eyed pirate woody.
Old Buddy Hackett joke: Black woman goes to the Gyn complaining of a rough period. Dr. asks “What kind of flow do you have”? Woman answers: “linoleum”.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#186
morpho aurora
canthz – the butterflies are iridescent, blue and green shades predominant
go see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morpho
i can’t make a link, y’all, i don’t remember how
a-b i was one of the dawns until i realized someone else was already using my name as their commenter name, and so i used a variation of my nickname
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#187
morpho aurora
#189 – apparently it’s never a pee pee woody here, thank god my boyfriends not home much
i am not a morning person!
btw, i feel silly typing pee pee
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
#188
Wade
I saw a Blue Morpho in a Costa Rican rainforest. Beautiful.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: 0
#189
Canthz_B
My late wife was a church goer but not me. Sunday morning was always a pirate! No way was she going to walk out remembering me farting under the sheets to go sit next to some man in his Sunday best smelling like a cologne counter.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: 1
#190
Canthz_B
wade, got any more of those ‘shrooms!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
#191
Canthz_B
Yes Morpho…That’s a pretty creature.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
#192
Wade
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:30 pm rating: 0
#193
Wade
Last night I could not imagine this post closing in on 200 comments.
Never doubt the wisdom of the PAN God.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:32 pm rating: 0
#194
morpho aurora
i’m still giggling over canthz sunday morning strategy
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#195
Wade
Canthz – who needs ‘shrooms when you’ve taken a ball bearing to the back of the head.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#196
morpho aurora
wade – and staying on track – sort of!
there i’ve set someone up to claim spot 200
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:34 pm rating: 0
#197
morpho aurora
oh hey it was me!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:34 pm rating: 0
#198
Canthz_B
#199 Wade…Stop it, it hurts by abs! ROTFLMAO x4
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:35 pm rating: 0
#199
Wade
M-A! Saying you are setting someone up then claiming the spot. How PA of you!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:36 pm rating: 0
#200
morpho aurora
wade – i had to go back and read #199 three times
i kept seeing “taking a head to the back of”
alcohol + sleep deprivation = SPLASH!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:36 pm rating: 0
#201
Canthz_B
Kind of auto-erotic, eh Morpho?!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 0
#202
morpho aurora
well you see officer, there i was in a golf cart drinking out of contaminate glassware
i headed down that slippery slope and the next think i knew i was flying
i landed with a splash right in the wet spot!
but i grinned all the way down
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:38 pm rating: 0
#203
morpho aurora
contaminated damn it contaminateD!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: 0
#204
A.Thought
New here…wondering:
east coast, west coast, or in-between?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
#205
morpho aurora
i’m down south
waaayyyy down south
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: 0
#206
Canthz_B
East Coast in the Hizouse!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:43 pm rating: 0
#207
morpho aurora
canthz – (lip)service with a smile!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:43 pm rating: 0
#208
Canthz_B
#@!$…Roller skate right up to the car, huh? LOL
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:44 pm rating: 0
#209
morpho aurora
to clarify:
the way down south was in response to a thought
i’m in louisiana
it was NOT a gratuitous sexual innuendo!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:45 pm rating: 0
#210
Wade
Period.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:45 pm rating: 0
#211
morpho aurora
canthz – roller skates????? now that’s gotta be uncomfortable
think of the little wheels hitting someone in the back of the head!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
#212
A.Thought
But I like the innuendoes…and wit. This stuff’s pretty funny!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
#213
Wade
Hey! People what have been hit in the back of the head by round objects have feelings too!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:49 pm rating: 0
#214
morpho aurora
i do innuendos pretty well comes from being married to a freak, and then shackin up with another one. wit, i don’t know. does wit come in variable speeds?
now that was gratuitous and sexual but maybe not innuendo
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:50 pm rating: 0
#215
Canthz_B
#219—Stop clapping and join the club.
#220–Feelings everywhere but that numb spot in the back of the head.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:51 pm rating: 0
#216
anna-banana
west coast!!!!
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:52 pm rating: 0
#217
morpho aurora
canthz you can’t perform that act while typing
or at least i can’t the keyboard isn’t knee height and besides my hands are usually full
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:53 pm rating: 0
#218
lola
I’m enjoying the fun read tonight! Midwest coming in for the recap:
roller skate sex v. golf cart sex
which is better?
to be continued…
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:53 pm rating: 0
#219
Wade
My two hour commute home is catching up with me.
Let me know if you come up with more marketing ideas for the _____________ (How about Tamponator 3000). Maybe claw can write a jingle.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:54 pm rating: 0
#220
morpho aurora
no problem canthz
tip for the day:
invest in duracell, there’s always gonna be a market for double a’s
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:55 pm rating: 0
#221
Canthz_B
#225–Oh, you serve the de-luxe, I was thinking ala carte…my bad!
Lola, can you operate a golf cart wearing skates?
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:56 pm rating: 0
#222
Canthz_B
As long as youze send us out to buy your monthy items and get pissed because we brought home what our ex used to use AAs will sell.
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:59 pm rating: 1
#223
Canthz_B
NITE WADE…..zzzzzzzzzz
Sep 21, 2007 at 11:59 pm rating: 0
#224
lola
I need more batteries for something else…
Canthz – I’m sure of it! I used to be the beer cart bitch for a while and I’m pretty damn good with those death machines.
Wade – how about: Vagivibe
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:00 am rating: 0
#225
morpho aurora
lola – golf cart sex
hit a bump on roller skates, you bust your ass
hit a bump in a golf cart, well….
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:00 am rating: 0
#226
lola
Tampadoodle
Rotating Tampon of Desire
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:01 am rating: 0
#227
lola
… someone gets a bite of snausage.
hopefully you’re not vegetarian!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:02 am rating: 0
#228
morpho aurora
#236 – lol
i have a shirt that says i leave bite marks
it just doesn’t say where
but that is not the place to leave ‘em
you can’t play on the playground if you break the slide
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:04 am rating: 1
#229
Canthz_B
The world According to Garp action! No thanks.
I have often wondered about the wisdom of the rapist who forces someone to go down on him. No teeth get near me unwillingly damnit!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:06 am rating: 1
#230
lola
ha! never heard that one before
getting graphic here, but I’ve heard that some guys like the scraping!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:07 am rating: 0
#231
Canthz_B
#237…Poetic genius!! I bow.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:07 am rating: 0
#232
lola
Canthz – I hear ya… that’d be the first thing to go. Sure, you’re taking sex, but I’m gonna take a trophy.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:08 am rating: 0
#233
Canthz_B
Loud “Ouch, B**** are you crazy?!”
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:08 am rating: 0
#234
morpho aurora
some do, but it must be done very carefully
associating with freaks is educational
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:09 am rating: 0
#235
Canthz_B
Plus you have the DNA evidence, not that you would need it at this point!!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:10 am rating: 0
#236
lola
freaky deaky
notice as we get closer to midnight, the conversation takes an ugly turn? or is that just because I’M always on here late at night and I’m a pervert?
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:11 am rating: 0
#237
Canthz_B
Teach me tonight was a good song.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:11 am rating: 0
#238
lola
Canthz – “Yeah, my attacker was blonde, about 5’10″, oh yeah, and he’s missing his dick.”
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:11 am rating: 1
#239
Canthz_B
Team late night pervert, the emptying glassware helps to…(hic).
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:12 am rating: 0
#240
morpho aurora
lola – if you are a pervert, what does that make me? lol
oh yeah and morpho aurora is a part of the family nymphalidae
so the nympho aurora was appropriate last nigh
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:13 am rating: 0
#241
lola
cheers to residual chemicals
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:13 am rating: 0
#242
lola
so I wasn’t COMPLETELY off the mark, then!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:14 am rating: 0
#243
morpho aurora
awww i’m out of chemicals
wonder if the daiquiri drive thru is still open?
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:14 am rating: 0
#244
lola
no, but there’s probably a pharmacy drive-thru still open somewhere
good ol’ pharmaceuticals
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:15 am rating: 1
#245
A.Thought
cheers to losing your conscious sense of things…
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:15 am rating: 0
#246
Canthz_B
LOL when I was in Arizona they had drive thru liquor stores. NO WAY THAT WOULD FLY IN
NJ.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:16 am rating: 0
#247
lola
Why NOT Jersey? I hear from NYers that NJ is the uncle no one talks about
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:17 am rating: 0
#248
Canthz_B
#254, male or female? Any freaky things to disclose to your free therapists….we’re listening.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:18 am rating: 0
#249
morpho aurora
i have to stay away from pharmaceuticals
apparently i have some sort of problem processing
anti depressants make me homicidal
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:18 am rating: 0
#250
Canthz_B
An uncle with VERY strict household rules I’m afraid….Yes…I’m afraid!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:19 am rating: 0
#251
A.Thought
female/harmless/wannabe freak
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:19 am rating: 0
#252
tweedle
Monthly cycle started today. Did it stop me from busting my ever-lovin’ chops right alongside the guys all the live-long day, with nary a hint of entitled bitchery? I can say that no, it didn’t.
And, in the sincere interest of sparing them the horror, I was careful in the porta-john to toss the evidence (that I bleeed sometimes) well into a shadowy corner of the scented blue soup.
Incidentally, I found the contents of the porta-unit’s eye level auxilliary porta-urinal most picturesque. Let’s see if I can summon the image.. cigarette butts, definitely cigarrette butts… some very clean looking pistachio shells, cozied up alongside a genial pile of a sunflower seed chewings.. some kind of soap patty/urinal cake .. all liberally drizzled with glistening, viscous chew-spit. It truly was an aesthetically arresting tableau and I honestly wished I had a camera to capture it. Moments like that are when I tell myself, sotto voce –but emphatically– and with some real angst
“i M A FreAK!”
No need to make the boys nervous.
My favorite Rolling Stones album is Let It Bleed:
“…take my arms, take my legs.. awww honey you can take my head… bleed on mee”
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:20 am rating: 1
#253
morpho aurora
in louisiana, it’s practically a law that daiquiri shops have drive thrus but i don’t think a liquor store would fly even down here.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:20 am rating: 0
#254
Canthz_B
#258, when my wife passed folks told me to get anti-depressants…I chose not to cause I feared the suicidal side effects…I needed no help having those thoughts at the time.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:21 am rating: 0
#255
tweedle
Am I a wannabe freak too?
twilight zone music.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:22 am rating: 0
#256
Canthz_B
Wannabe my ass…do it!! First thing Monday morning hang your drawers on a hook in the ladies room! Proclaim loudly “I am woman, hear me roar!!”
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:23 am rating: 0
#257
morpho aurora
canthz – i know what you mean
when rajah died (hubby #2) i pretty much ended up under 24 hour surveillance for a month
my girl friend wouldn’t even let me drive for a while
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:23 am rating: 0
#258
lola
Wow, my mind is not forming coherent thoughts anymore…
this is the train of thought I just had:
anti-depressents … suicide … Mick Jaggar is scary … jesus stealing hotpockets …
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:24 am rating: 1
#259
morpho aurora
#260 – a thought you are not a wanna be
if you are thinking freakish thoughts, you are a freak. baby steps, darlin, baby steps
before you know it, it’s whips latex and golf carts!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#260
lola
Canthz – “project panty mayhem”
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#261
A.Thought
and rollerskates?
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#262
morpho aurora
lol @ project panty mayhem
no grannies please!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#263
lola
and hotpockets?
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#264
Canthz_B
#267 But just not the ham and cheese hot pockets! Not kosher.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#265
lola
not at all, canthz, not at all
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:28 am rating: 0
#266
morpho aurora
roller skates only if you are a licensed freak
otherwise, someones gonna get hurt
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:28 am rating: 0
#267
morpho aurora
if the pockets are cold, you are beyond freakdom and in to scary
necrophilia is a bad bad thing
god, i can’t believe i said that
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:29 am rating: 0
#268
Canthz_B
Remember your baby steps A.Thought!
Boy, you ladies are loosers! Stuck on a Friday night talking to a skinny Black guy from the most laughed at state in the union.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:31 am rating: 0
#269
Canthz_B
#276, but, strangely, it works.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:32 am rating: 0
#270
lola
Whose a lady???
Kidding. Kind of. I became asexual the day I had triplets.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:33 am rating: 0
#271
tweedle
I’m not sure about hot and cold pockets, but I checked with my agent/bookie/harmless, and he reminded me that I do got a Class ‘A’ Freak’s License with no restrictiona and all the endorsements.
Sweet!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:33 am rating: 0
#272
morpho aurora
it’s okay canthz – you are stuck talking to a short white chick from the most corrupt state in the union
believe me, this is better than the alternative for me
friday night in the only bar in a small southern town
no thanks, not with out a weapon anyway
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:33 am rating: 0
#273
lola
tweedle – just make sure to wear the proper equipment or someone could get hurt
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:34 am rating: 0
#274
lola
morpho – I have a feeling you could hold your own
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:35 am rating: 0
#275
Canthz_B
#279–not fair. If Mother Nature wants to do that to you, you should get a third arm and tit too.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:35 am rating: 0
#276
A.Thought
#279 must be a trend…except it’s twins for me.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:36 am rating: 0
#277
lola
that’s what I’m sayin…
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:36 am rating: 0
#278
morpho aurora
lola – i do hold my own when the alternative is named bubba and he’s got a lipful of copenhagen
god i cant’ wait until my boyfriend comes home
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:36 am rating: 0
#279
lola
Twins, huh? interesting!
well, you might understand why I’m not in the bedroom getting my freak on right now.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:37 am rating: 0
#280
lola
your boyfriend’s name isn’t Bubba, is it?
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:38 am rating: 0
#281
A.Thought
Time to go watch Craig Ferguson. “It’s a great day in America everybody!”
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:38 am rating: 0
#282
Canthz_B
I would come see for myself but there are nooses about…I don’t particularly want to spend tourism dollars there right now. Sorry Katrina victims, can’t help ya either this week.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:38 am rating: 0
#283
morpho aurora
lola and a.thought – please send me some water from y’all’s neck of the woods
i have had no luck at all with becoming a mommy
and since i’m 34 my biological clock is ticking ringing buzzing and just flat out making a racket
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:39 am rating: 0
#284
tweedle
You called it, Lola:
Hard hat and reflective orange safety vest?
Check.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:39 am rating: 0
#285
Canthz_B
# 279, #285…I think we have found the glassware thieves!!!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:39 am rating: 0
#286
morpho aurora
actually my boyfriends name is terry
i laugh every time someone says thanks terry
but most of the males around here answer to bubba at some point
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:40 am rating: 0
#287
A.Thought
#292 Is that what that dog is barking at?
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 0
#288
lola
a. thought – “tomorrow’s just a future yesterday” I love that show!
morpho – hold out a few more years and you probably WILL have multiples (closer to 40), lots of women are waiting, but good luck!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 0
#289
lola
canthz – that’s why you don’t have any friends. thanks for ratting us out! and my babies weren’t test-tube babies. they were inserted into my uterus by satan himself
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:42 am rating: 0
#290
morpho aurora
a.thought – they just thought it was a dog barking
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:43 am rating: 0
#291
Canthz_B
Well, don’t look at me! Mine are grown and I’m not doing it again….not all it’s cracked up to be M-A.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#292
lola
ooh ooh , 300!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#293
morpho aurora
lola so nice to meet other members of the demonspawn clan
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#294
lola
oh you asshole! you took 300 and you didn’t even know it
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#295
lola
my mommy called me her little bugaboo when I was a kid, but I didn’t think she was being LITERAL!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:45 am rating: 0
#296
Canthz_B
Yeah Lola, but God help you, you love the jerk!
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:46 am rating: 0
#297
A.Thought
No glassware here either. Twins out of the gate. Hubby was very puffed up about it all.
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:46 am rating: 0
#298
lola
a. thought – that’s hilarious! we got prego the first month we tried, and with three girls. hubby was kinda pissed about it then, but he adores them now (almost 3 y.o.)
fertile myrtle
Sep 22, 2007 at 12:48 am rating: 0
#299
Gwen
Sweet Jesus! Gross! That’s almost as bad as the puddle of blood I found under the Rag Bin in the women’s washroom at work. (it was dripping out of the bottom of the bin)
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:46 am rating: 0
#300
GVI
Eww, thank you for bringing up an image like that again for us Gwen.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#301
Wade
Sweet Monkey Fritters!
I guess roller skates, daquiris and tampons really don’t mix. . . at least after midnight eastern time.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: 0
#302
Gwen
No worries, GVI.
Sep 23, 2007 at 4:56 am rating: 0
#303
normal
Jesus, I used to read the comments. They were funny. Until there were hundreds of them.
Would it not be easier to IM or something?
Sep 23, 2007 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
#304
Melissa
There have been letters like that last one sent around in email form to all of the women in my office as well. It is rather disgusting….
Sep 24, 2007 at 10:50 am rating: 0
#305
Mrs L Carrot
Note number one, never leave passive aggressive notes unless you can spell.
Note number two… That’s not really passive aggressive, it’s the voice of sanity. Some people are gross but we women always assume it’s not us… hey ho.
Sep 26, 2007 at 8:02 am rating: 0
#306
Liz
Why are women’s bathrooms so much worse than men’s? You’d think it would be the opposite…maybe there should be a etiquite class on this subject.
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:39 am rating: 0
#307
deepy
I never believed that the ladies room was gnarlier than the mens room until I got a good look. Yikes!
Nov 23, 2007 at 2:18 am rating: 0
#308 oh dear
[...] related: are you there, margaret? god, could you be any more disgusting? [...]
Dec 18, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 0
#309
FDB
Those blood spots were fucking delicious.
Jul 2, 2008 at 2:04 am rating: 0
#310
chris
Honestly? The poo was a whole lot nastier. Also note: no one SMEARED BLOOD on this note as an equally passive-aggressive retort.
Lady’s are STILL more respectable! :cD
Nov 26, 2008 at 2:29 pm rating: 0
#311
The Sneak
They were mine.
Dec 8, 2008 at 6:06 pm rating: 0
#312
yellowcroissant541
uhm.
a little bit of weird and a whole lotta nasty
Jan 3, 2009 at 11:30 pm rating: 0
#313 panty raid!
[...] related: are you there, margaret? [...]
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:00 pm rating: 0
#314
Sheena
I just laughed so hard I cried, thank you guys.
Jul 3, 2009 at 7:19 am rating: 0
#315
Bella
women can be nasty creatures! ewww
Jul 16, 2009 at 5:48 pm rating: 0
#316
Frank
Ewwww…..I’m glad I don’t use ladies’ toilets.
Jul 23, 2009 at 10:32 am rating: 0
#317
buyusedcars
Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching for first aid for a heart attack and your post looks very interesting for me.
Sep 10, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 0
#318
autoauctions
As a Newbie, I am always searching online for articles that can help me. Thank you
Sep 11, 2009 at 12:03 am rating: 0
#319
TrofDieroit
I think you made some good points in your post.
Sep 28, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: 0
#320
Blaxadneday
Thank you for your help!
Oct 8, 2009 at 10:06 am rating: 0
#321
stinalotta
i am not capable of reading the title in any other voice than chandler’s. it’s worrying me a bit.
Oct 26, 2009 at 11:41 am rating: 0
#322
Acorn
ewwww
Oct 28, 2009 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#323
Mehreen Ali Kasana
Omfg? Wtf?
Nov 9, 2009 at 2:38 am rating: 0
#324
Sally Forth
lol, I left a note like the latter one at work one time because I was so disgusted by the menstrual blood on & around the toilets. disgusting!
Nov 20, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 0
#325 Could you spare a tissue for the lady? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] gonna say it’s probably best not to ask too many questions about this one. related: “Who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work? Who does that?” Share0mail [...]
Aug 18, 2010 at 11:19 pm rating: 0
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