“this isn’t quite a note,” writes andrea in california. “actually, it’s not a note at all.” but passive-aggressive? yessir. she explains, “my dad’s job is to take out the trash. it’s probably his only chore. but for some reason, it never seems to get taken care of.” so, andrea’s mom took action. sort of.
after this, andrea says it only took her dad three days to acknowledge the trash and take it out.
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218 responses so far ↓
#1 Juliet
I like the passive aggressive action on the part of Andrea’s mother and the passive aggressive response of her father. I can’t seem to choose a team. It’s annoying to not have someone do a basic chore, but also annoying to have someone decide it’s time for you to do a chore.
I haven’t picked a team yet.
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:19 pm rating: 0
#2 GVI
Thats alot of hot chocolate.
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:45 pm rating: 0
#3 Canthz_B
I like Dad waiting three days to act on it.
Talk about P-A, dude said “If you can get this much done without me you might just as well take it outside woman!”
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:01 pm rating: 0
#4 GVI
Makes alot of sense, she got hands her damn self.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:04 pm rating: 0
#5 morpho aurora
i keep seeing references to “it’s his job” or “it’s her turn” and of course, the weekly chore charts.
come on, if you see something needs to be done, just go ahead and do it. quit whining about others not doing their fair share. just grow up and handle whatever needs to be taken care of.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: 0
#6 Lara
I think it’s actually a Quaker on those boxes, making it oatmeal or grain of some kind. I’m sensing a “regularity issue” in this house.
Also, awesome site! I’ve been lurking for a while, and loving it.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: 0
#7 Trickster
Yay for not choosing a side!
I like both of their actions I must admit, but dad really should not have let the situation gone out of control. Aint momma happy aint nobody happy.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:23 pm rating: 0
#8 Canthz_B
#6 Lara, that’s alot of whole grain. Perhaps Daddy’s in the crapper and does not have time to take out the trash.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:31 pm rating: 0
#9 Wade
I think I see a towel and some dryer sheets in the bag.
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:34 pm rating: 0
#10 Canthz_B
And tampons!
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:40 pm rating: 0
#11 Canthz_B
And is that Illumination’s manuscript I spy?
Sep 22, 2007 at 8:44 pm rating: 0
#12 Wade
Are those trash cans white enamel?
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:05 pm rating: 0
#13 hools
I suggest recycling those boxes, oh trash-taker-outers of the world.
Nothing snarky to add. This is something I would do if my housemate was an irresponsible dolt who didn’t follow through on their agreements and responsibilities.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:13 pm rating: 0
#14 Wade
And where is andrea in all this? She can snap a photo but not help dear ole dad with the trash?
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:15 pm rating: 0
#15 pry
team andrea’s mom. if that’s his only chore, then do it.
at least he doesn’t have to clean out the litter boxes.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:18 pm rating: 0
#16 Jay
Wade (#14) That’s what I’m saying! These kids today. No initiative. Heh.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
#17 Canthz_B
If mom would feed the man more than granola bars maybe he’d have the energy to do chores after he gets home from the office.
Team put your feet up and rest Dad, thanks for the roof over my head.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:29 pm rating: 0
#18 Canthz_B
Oh, Andrea’s Mom, if you take out the trash often enough you may be able to talk Hubby into a cabinet make-over for your 1970’s kitchen.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:36 pm rating: 0
#19 A.Thought
6 and 17: I laughed out loud!
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:41 pm rating: 0
#20 Trickster
Canthz B: the man can´t feed himself?
Andrea, please enlighten me, does your daddy not have arms?
Oh and: team put your feet up and rest Mom, thanks for the roof over my head and all those years of doing all the work both in the house and outside and not getting any credit for it.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:44 pm rating: 0
#21 A.Thought
Funny…seems Mom left enough space to rollerskate! :o)
She must not be too pissed off.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:48 pm rating: 0
#22 Canthz_B
Someone in that house does the shopping (Mom?) and clearly has a thing for Quakers.
As far as Dad’s two arms, I count at least four other arms about.
Since it is well documented, and lamented, by women that men are paid more I stand by my assertion that Dad is the major (if not the sole) bread-winner.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:50 pm rating: 0
#23 Canthz_B
If the outdoor trash is too far from the back door, Mom could always use a golf cart! LOL
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:51 pm rating: 0
#24 LC
LOVES IT!
If this “dad” is like mine, he lets mom do everything else around the house and STILL bitches about and /or avoids doing the ONE thing that’s asked of him…
@Canthz B #17: What year do you live in? In my family, BOTH parents put the roof over our heads…
TEAM FED-UP, OVERWORKED MOMMA!
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:54 pm rating: 0
#25 LC
And Canthz, Dad making the most money (being the “breadwinner”) does not mean he has the hardest job. Most moms still do all the peripheral shit (kids activities, cleaning, bill paying) in addition to their 9-5’s…or at least this was the way it was in my and my friends’ familes…
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:56 pm rating: 0
#26 Canthz_B
I oubt very much that this is his only chore. I doubt that mom cuts the grass or cleans the gutters for example…have you never heard of hyperbole?
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:58 pm rating: 0
#27 Trickster
Oh man, it is such a fine thing that I got to choose my partner, that way I got someone who believes in doing equal shares and paying equally, for for those who don’t, well they don’t have to live like that but can go do their own thing.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: 0
#28 Canthz_B
I cannot speak to the socio-economic status of recent posters.
I speak only to the note as given us by the PAN God.
The note states that this is the only household task assigned to Dad. This suggests to me that Mom is a housewife…otherwise there are a heap more complaints I would expect from Mom.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: 0
#29 Canthz_B
I too believe in equal work sharing in the home, but we are talking about the family in the note not our own situations.
I don’t make the rules at their address, but I suggest they live by them or change them.
I suppose this woman chose her partner as well Trickster. She chose him and now must deal with him, warts and all.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:05 pm rating: 0
#30 Trickster
I don’t see how a man having the chore of taking out trash suggests that the woman is a housewife?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:15 pm rating: 0
#31 Canthz_B
That having been said Trickster, I was home from work before my wife and cooked our meals for dinner. Our son did the dishes. Almost all other housework (this does not encompass yardwork) was done by my wife. Not because it was “her job”, but because she was old fashioned that way. Said it she wanted to be a good homemaker for me and would not allow me to do domestic work.
Not everyone burned their bras in the 70’s, but then I am older than many who post here.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:17 pm rating: 0
#32 Canthz_B
#30, because you prefer to assume facts not in evidence.
Again, if mom works outside of the home, she would not be complaining about him not taking out the trash, but about him not doing half of the chores. This makes it much more logical, though not a certainty b any means, that we are dealing with a housewife.
Question, if mom does everything but the trash and trash is assigned to dad…what the heck does Andrea do besides take pictures? Maybe she could lend a hand to poor overworked Mum??
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:23 pm rating: 0
#33 morpho aurora
since we are being serious at the moment:
i was talking to a therapist yesterday, and she told me two of the biggest conflicts in most marriages are money, and division of responsibilities. obviously, who handles the money and who takes out the trash are hot buttons for most people.
i’m going to repeat what i said earlier: if you see something needs to be done, just do it. don’t worry about whose turn it is. just nut up and do it, even if it’s a nasty job.
as far as stacking the trash up in the middle of the kitchen, didn’t work, did it? dad walked around it for three days. he knew it was there, he just didn’t want to deal with it. if somebody doesn’t want to acknowledge the existense of an issue, they aren’t going to, no matter how many quaker oats boxes you pile in the middle of the kitchen floor. and canthz is right, you have to deal with your partner, warts and all. sometimes that means admitting he’s a toad about taking out the trash. if you love somebody, that should mean you accept that they have faults and flaws, just as you do. learning how to deal with your mate’s flaws is part of what makes a relationship work.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:24 pm rating: 0
#34 Wade
Period.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:28 pm rating: 0
#35 Trickster
Canthz I am just saying, I don’t make your connection. I still don’t see how taking out the trash being his job makes her a housewife? I don’t think it is about who does what, but the assumption.
Just to put some light on it, I don’t think that anyone would assume that you were a househusband if your wife had the chore of taking out the trash.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:28 pm rating: 0
#36 A.Thought
It’s like the suitcase episode on Everybody Loves Raymond.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:30 pm rating: 0
#37 morpho aurora
#36 what suitcase?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 0
#38 Canthz_B
Amen.
No need to B**ch about it.
I had my role to play and she had her’s.
She did not like to answer the door, I thought, because she would come upstairs to get me when someone rang our bell. So I asked her once, “that was nothing, why did I have to come down for that?” She said, “Because you’re the man of the house.”
I never questioned her again. My late wife knew what type of home she wanted and all I had to do to keep her happy was help her make that home.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 0
#39 Canthz_B
#35, no…that would make her a kept woman.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:33 pm rating: 0
#40 Canthz_B
#36…xxxxactly!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:34 pm rating: 0
#41 Canthz_B
Don’t get me wrong, this guy is a class A jerk because he steadfastly refuses to do what would appear from these facts to be the only think he asked to do at home…what’s that 2 or 3 times a week? What a putz.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:36 pm rating: 0
#42 A.Thought
re: #37
There was an episode where Debra left a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs for Raymond to take up. He walked past it for like 3 weeks. (PA or what? on both parts.) When he needed to go on a trip he packed his stuff in a plastic bag and left cheese to rot in the suitcase while he was away. Finally, Debra said she’d step up and be the ONE to get it. Then they physically wrestled over who would take it up.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: 0
#43 Canthz_B
Think—Thing
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: 0
#44 Lara
What did they do for those three days when they had stuff to throw away? Did they keep adding to the top of the pile like some sort of garbage-Jenga game?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: 0
#45 anna-banana
Canthz…disagree.
Just take out the trash, Dad. That’s just a severe disease called L.A.-Lazy Ass!!! Go see a doctor and get it cured!!!!
T thought that those boxes were Kraft Mac& Cheese in the microwaveable pouches, until I blew-up the pix & saw the Quaker Man.
That Dad must be lowering his cholesterol by the 10s!!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 0
#46 A.Thought
Garbage Jenga…better than a booger wall!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 0
#47 Canthz_B
Classic household P-A behavior!! That one was hilarious!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#48 Wade
Whether it is black plastic in-out boxes, used feminine hygiene products, illumination’s refuse or an overabundance of oatmeal…how we discard our garbage is a key to identifying and addressing passive-aggression.
Yes, this thesis is proceeding nicely…
:/
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#49 morpho aurora
i bet if the chore had involved power tools, dad would have jumped right on it!
there, that’s my sexist comment for the night.
btw, canthz i think the PAN god heard your pleas for mercy. i no longer see the trouble counter:)
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:40 pm rating: 0
#50 Canthz_B
A-B see #41
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:41 pm rating: 0
#51 Wade
Canthz…below the radar once again.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:41 pm rating: 0
#52 anna-banana
And She, oh merciful PAN goddess, also heard our (or rather read them) bithces about the looonnng last letter submission. Hence the title of thise one! Thank you, Kerry (and Terry–hee hee, Morph-A).
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 0
#53 Trickster
morpho aurora, who doesn’t jump at the chance to use power tools?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 0
#54 Canthz_B
#49 Thats “Home Improvement” Haarf-Haarf
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
#55 A.Thought
While we seem to be channeling (pun intended) the TV listings:
Maybe Dad should watch Dirty Jobs and then the household trash job wouldn’t seem too bad by comparison.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:45 pm rating: 0
#56 morpho aurora
#53 trickster, if if requires AAs i’m happy
if it needs a kick start, i am soo not the girl for that project
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:45 pm rating: 0
#57 Canthz_B
Maybe he should watch “Lonely Housewives” and get a clue!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:47 pm rating: 0
#58 Canthz_B
That’s IT!…I KNEW he had another function in that house!! LOL
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:48 pm rating: 0
#59 Trickster
few things beat fixing about the house with your power tools, you get those nifty little shelves up in no time! The arwork gets put up in 30min instead of 12 weeks, I loove me my power tools!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:49 pm rating: 0
#60 Canthz_B
Wow Trickster, my wife went to sleep after!
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#61 Canthz_B
Re: counter..Thanks Terry
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
#62 anna-banana
Sorry, Canthz. Didn’t see your retraction & change in direction!!!
Power tools…my, my. I’d be happy aiming that spray faucet over the kitchen sink in a certain direction! I wonder how far it would pull out of the unit?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:59 pm rating: 0
#63 anna-banana
I don’t think that that kitchen is too outdated. Aren’t those granite countertops?
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#64 morpho aurora
#62 a-b try one of those shower attachments
looks like an 18 inch rod with small nozzles on it
to be mounted vertically on the shower wall
has a lever for adjusting the strength of the spray
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#65 Trickster
TMI!!!
I personally like to do things earlier in the day, so I can chill in the afternoons, enjoy some computer gaming or whatnot
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#66 Canthz_B
I saw that thing A-B, wonered why they had a water-pik in the kitchen! LOL
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:04 pm rating: 0
#67 Canthz_B
Hey! There ARE still guys here you know!*Blushing*
Sep 22, 2