as a little weekend bonus, i bring you this post from the smith daily jolt’s alumnae forum. yes, it’s long.
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
this aggression will not stand, man
September 22nd, 2007 · 160 comments
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
FILED UNDER: TLDR · bathroom · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard
160 responses so far ↓
#1 Wade
Holy Hookah! This post has it’s own tag cloud!
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#2 morpho aurora
and this is the reason i don’t have room mates
honestly, both people fucked up
brian - if his girlfriend has her own place, she should maybe spend more time there. if the two of them can’t spend enough time together living seperately, they should get a place together.
illumination - seems kinda whiney and bossy
i understand the need for everyone to do their share, but he seems to be falling into “i do more share than you do”
this is not a note it’s a P-A novella
and poor shelly got dragged in and never got to say anything.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:22 pm rating: 0
#3 todd
that was a giant clusterfuck of bitching and moaning.
i for one feel that i’m no better after reading its entirety. that made me want to take a nap or something.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:27 pm rating: 0
#4 ahmeen
Seriously, I thought pot smokers where more laid back than this.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:34 pm rating: 0
#5 morpho aurora
sidebar here: ever notice the people who say “I hate drama” are usually the most dramatic ones?
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: +2
#6 Stace
Ever since I started reading this blog, a question keeps popping up when I see something like this. When the object is a forum post or an e-mail, why use a screengrab? It’s kind of hard to read.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#7 southern girl
blah blah blah…..
What the heck kind of name is illumination?
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:45 pm rating: 0
#8 brigid
People need to realize that significant others aren’t free. It’s total bullshit to have an apartment where you share rent, utilities, and food, and then introduce another person who doesn’t pay anything extra (unless, of course, the other room mate(s) are cool with that).
That being said, these two emails pretty pointless and dumb and full of bitchy whininess.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:50 pm rating: +1
#9 Wry Exchange
Looks like Brian won’t have to tell Landlord Curtis about the rug now. or the pot.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:54 pm rating: 0
#10 GVI
Illumination whines like a little girl and amazingly Brian seems like the level headed one, even though the note/email was directed at him.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:01 pm rating: 0
#11 zhokuai
If anyone wrote me an email that long about that kind of petty stuff, I’d just stop reading it and ask about the issue next time I see them.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:22 pm rating: 0
#12 allium
illumination seems like just as much of a douche as his weird name implies he would be.
So is the girlfriend’s name Becky or Vicky? They seemed to use both names interchangably.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:31 pm rating: 0
#13 GVI
#12. Vicky is Brian’s girl and Becky is the other roomie, well i think so.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#14 Katy
tl;dr
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:57 pm rating: 0
#15 Juliet
I thought the roommate’s name was Shelly, and that the girlfriend’s name was Vicky, so who the hell is Becky? Why is Becky capitalized and Vicky is never capitalized?
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:15 pm rating: 0
#16 Sharona
I’m guessing Becky was Brian’s girlfriend when he moved in. Now he’s with Vicky, but he’s trying to argue that girlfriend visitation rights were always in his contract.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#17 Bridget
My theory is that Vicky turned into Becky through a search & replace, and that lower-case vicky didn’t make it. Gee, I’m sure glad Illumination said she FUCKING HATES DRAMA at the outset, because otherwise, I might think otherwise. Umm… but why the hell did she post this on a message board?
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:26 pm rating: 0
#18 Sharona
And as to why he capitalizes his old girlfriend’s name but doesn’t bother with his current girlfriend’s, well, that’s between him and vicky.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:27 pm rating: 0
#19 j
why is everyone saying hookah is pot?
hookah is usually tobacco…
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:31 pm rating: 0
#20 agargara
I’m on Team Less-Really-Long-Posts-Complaining-About-Roomates.
After all, this is passiveaggressivenotes, not passiveaggressivelongemails.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:36 pm rating: 0
#21 Sharona
#19 j: “why is everyone saying hookah is pot?”
Maybe because they’re Smith students?
Anyway, you can smoke hashish in a hookah. Also opium.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:41 pm rating: 0
#22 S.S.
Oh dear God, there is absolutely no way I’m reading all of that. No fucking way.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
#23 smash
bridget, that’s what i was thinking, too. brian definitely seems like the level-headed one, and i think wrote a perfectly polite reply…apologetic for the things he should regret, and unapologetic for the things he shouldn’t. i totally disagree with morpho aurora about the fact that brian and vicky/becky should just get their own place if they want to spend most of their time with one another…as he said in the email, they split their time between her place and his place, which i think it perfectly equitable to his roommates in terms of utilities/food/etc. if the two of them eat communal food every other day, that’s essentially the same thing as one person eating communal food everyday. i do think, though, that shelly shouldn’t have to bend over backwards to accomodate vicky/becky’s need to shower, though.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:47 pm rating: 0
#24 Sonic Joe
OMG. They’re both amazingly PA (Brian even admits it, which is just priceless) and pretty whiny, but I think Brian is just a bit of a fool who feels bad about being useless, whereas “illumination” is a proper psycho-in-the-making.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:51 pm rating: 0
#25 ginger
the fact the he’s called iilumination makes me think he might be a knob.lol
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:03 pm rating: 0
#26 Laurie
tl;dr
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:06 pm rating: 0
#27 dawn
I dunno, both of these messages seem to be pretty reasonable to me. I can see both points of view. I agree with zhokuai, though - I’d take one look at the length of that first e-mail and my eyes would start glazing over. As it is, I pretty much skimmed the last half of both messages.
At any rate, I am Team Live Alone and Love It.
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:14 pm rating: 0
#28 justmindinmine
wow…..that was a heck of alot of info at one time. I admit after about 2 paragraphs of whine, whine, whine my eyes started to cross.
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:21 pm rating: 0
#29 normal
That’s waaaay too long. And not passive aggressive or funny at all… just a discussion over email that should have happened live.
“Illumination” (what the hell?) = bossy
Brian = a douche to bring his gf in when she pays nothing
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:40 pm rating: 0
#30 WanderingPenguin
I was totally Team “Brian” until he dug in his heels about the freeloading girlfriend, whatever her name happens to be. Now I don’t really give a rat’s ass about any of them. Wait, maybe Shelley is ok. At least she didn’t write a thesis on the apartment like the other two. In fact, I feel sorry that she has to live with such douches.
Has anyone tried to write an email this long? Have you timed yourself? How can we be expected to believe Brian has no time for anything when he has an hour or so to read and reply? Seem to me the whole place would be in better shape if composing/writing/replying time was spent more productively - and no, I don’t mean on the hookah.
But I have to add (since I have been waiting for a new post to do this):
That perspicacious organic food was fuckin’ lugubrious.
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:52 pm rating: +1
#31 Jaquelyn
First off, I am not going to read that doozy of a letter. Secondly, I am with team live alone and love it like dawn. I have never touched the roommate scene out of my generosity toward my fellow man—being that I might murder anyone in close proximity of myself, unless I want them there for some reason.
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:10 pm rating: 0
#32 morpho aurora
team live alone and love it
if you need company, get a dog
but for god’s sake don’t let it bark all the fucking time!
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:17 pm rating: 0
#33 anna-banana
OMG. This is tooooo long. I’m taking a nap & get back to it later. Later!
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:31 pm rating: 0
#34 Sarah
The only real mistake Brian made was living with someone who calls themself “illumination”
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:36 pm rating: 0
#35 Wade
I think she gets her screen name from illumination night, a smith college homecoming ritual involving japanese paper lanterns and candles (no coal).
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:38 pm rating: 0
#36 Wade
Or her mom was waaaay into smith college alumnae ritual.
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:39 pm rating: 0
#37 lola
Came to see the new note and didn’t give myself enough time to read a FREAKING NOVEL.
I’ll get back to you on my thoughts and late night comments in about a week, when I’ve finished reading it.
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:49 pm rating: 0
#38 GVI
Believe me when I say I am not a fan of Passievagressivenovels.com
No Thanks Terry.
Sep 22, 2007 at 6:12 pm rating: 0
#39 Trickster
I think both those letters were a bit long, but atleast they attempted to actually communicate. Although via mail isn’t the most optimal way.
I mean, P-A bitchiness is best enjoyed when in a more compressed form.
Sep 22, 2007 at 6:13 pm rating: 0
#40 GVI
I think I have it figured out, Shelly is roomie, vicky is girlfriend and Becky is most likely a mutual friend or something.
Sep 22, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#41 Canthz_B
Brian tickles me. He begins each subject with an apology, then proceeds to explain why he has done nothing wrong in regards to said subject.
Sweet!
Bri-Bri and Vicky need their own place. Bri has no time with his class scedule? As I recall college there were maybe 2 two-hour classes per day, 3 tops with most of the middle of the day(3-hours) free. If he can find time for Vicky he can find time for home.
Illumination is not P-A, she is A-R. A real hands on personality (I will rearrange the cupboards for all. I don’t want to chip in for any non-organic food). Why does she not only wipe her ass with the first third of the roll because she paid first?
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:21 pm rating: 0
#42 Canthz_B
Oh, and Vicky….Get your ass up early and go home to your own shower. You don’t pay water or sewer here. I doubt you bring your own soap, wash cloth and towels, and am pretty sure you do not help with the laundry.
Brian, take your girlfrind to a motel…what makes you think your female roomies want to hear you banging your slut?
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:27 pm rating: 0
#43 anonymous for now
Anyone who calls themself “illumination” is a total ass.
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:58 pm rating: 0
#44 Trickster
I am liking this post more and more, mostly because both sides get alot of votes, and people clearly have very strong opinions on this topic.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:39 pm rating: 0
#45 A.Thought
Illumination: male or female?
Cast your votes…
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:44 pm rating: 0
#46 A.Thought
Nevermind…I just checked the profile. 32-year old female. Self-described as stubborn and earthy. So what’s a little coal?
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:55 pm rating: 0
#47 lisa
Canthz B! You need to chill out mrs… Have you never had a boyfriend? Do you require all of your potential flatmates to register for the clergy before they move in? It’s all about give and take. Don’t be too harsh, otherwise when its your turn for love, you run the risk of becoming the worlds biggest hypocrite… and that last post was just nasty.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:09 pm rating: 0
#48 anna-banana
Lisa…you just don’t know Canthz, yet. Are you a newbie to PAN?
He’s just joking. He’s all for the liberation of sluts, everywhere. Trust me. And I agree that vicky can go home & shower if she has an issue. It’s NOT her apartment…so she should just STFU!!!!
Oh, and #43-LOL…I completely agree!!!
And I also agree that Becky is a separate persona. And sense a little sexual tension as well. So, maybe former flame reduced to casual friend, now?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:54 pm rating: 0
#49 smash
damn! i agree 100%, lisa. canthz b, in your opinion should significant others never be allowed to sleep over? really, you expect here to chip in and pay for sewage and water? um, if these guys are renting, *they’re* not even paying for sewage and water. i’m assuming that all three roommates have their own separate supplies of soap/washcloths/towels/etc (at least this has been true of every roommate situation i’ve been in), and i’m assuming that brian’s girlfriend would only be using his supplies, so that’d be an issue between the two of them. chill out, girl!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#50 anna-banana
Uh, he’s a boy, smash.
He’s just JOKING!!!!
That’s what he does, joke.
Where are you C_B? You should be defending yourself!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:12 pm rating: 0
#51 ym82
wait I don’t get it, so they don’t actually go to smith, right? and, if they do, illumination is 32? and brian is male? and they go to smith?
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
#52 Canthz_B
Have not read all but….I am a guy. I treat my lady with respect and feel that a woman who respects herself does not advertise when she is getting hers.
Who said NEVER stay overnight?…Surely not I!
What I said is that if you’re not on the damned lease you belong in your own home most nights.
My roommate is my 22 year old son, he pays half of the rent and takes his conquests to a motel because I taught him that a respectful woman does not need to say good morning to me. When she gives up her stull should be discreet.
More after I read more!!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:22 pm rating: 0
#53 Canthz_B
When it’s my turn for love? I’m nearly 46 years old with two daghters and two step sons…all adults you twit! perhaps when you grow up a tad, you will value your privacy a little more.
Believe me, the more people that know how often you get laid, the more people that are calling you a slut…mostly women BTW.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
#54 Canthz_B
Smash you knuckle-head…If they are renting, sewage and water is included in their rent…otherwise it would be lowere…do you still believe in something for nothing? Think Santa covers the cost of living? GET REAL!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:28 pm rating: 0
#55 Canthz_B
#49 Brian does not have time to do laundry, or did you not read the note? Also, they were doing things communally, or did you not read the note?
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
#56 Canthz_B
BTW if she is using Brian’s wash cloth and towel (since he does not come off as the type to frequent white sales) she is a skank as well.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:31 pm rating: 0
#57 anna-banana
Good Job!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
#58 Canthz_B
SPECIAL DELIVERY FOR LISA AND SMASH:
GO DO OPRAH!!!……and do her well! ROTFLMAO
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:44 pm rating: 0
#59 Canthz_B
*he bows* A-B
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
#60 BoggyWoggy
This photo is nothing compared to some of the stuff they show in regards to those weird “cat-hoarder” men and women on Animal Planet’s Animal Cops shows. Have you see some of those hell-holes!? People have rooms with crap piled to the ceiling and they’ve created tunnels and trails for getting from room-to-room.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
#61 Canthz_B
OOps Boggy you posted under the wrong letter, but yes those are real survival courses!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:54 pm rating: 0