As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.
FILED UNDER: bathroom · college life · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard · TL;DR
Holy Hookah! This post has it’s own tag cloud!
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 1
and this is the reason i don’t have room mates
honestly, both people fucked up
brian – if his girlfriend has her own place, she should maybe spend more time there. if the two of them can’t spend enough time together living seperately, they should get a place together.
illumination – seems kinda whiney and bossy
i understand the need for everyone to do their share, but he seems to be falling into “i do more share than you do”
this is not a note it’s a P-A novella
and poor shelly got dragged in and never got to say anything.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:22 pm rating: 2
that was a giant clusterfuck of bitching and moaning.
i for one feel that i’m no better after reading its entirety. that made me want to take a nap or something.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:27 pm rating: 3
Sorry, I nodded off there a sec.
Mar 16, 2008 at 5:30 pm rating: 0
Seriously, I thought pot smokers where more laid back than this.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:34 pm rating: 6
sidebar here: ever notice the people who say “I hate drama” are usually the most dramatic ones?
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: 21
Ever since I started reading this blog, a question keeps popping up when I see something like this. When the object is a forum post or an e-mail, why use a screengrab? It’s kind of hard to read.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
Right-click and select View Image.
May 15, 2008 at 6:56 pm rating: 0
blah blah blah…..
What the heck kind of name is illumination?
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:45 pm rating: 13
People need to realize that significant others aren’t free. It’s total bullshit to have an apartment where you share rent, utilities, and food, and then introduce another person who doesn’t pay anything extra (unless, of course, the other room mate(s) are cool with that).
That being said, these two emails pretty pointless and dumb and full of bitchy whininess.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:50 pm rating: 11
Looks like Brian won’t have to tell Landlord Curtis about the rug now. or the pot.
Sep 22, 2007 at 1:54 pm rating: 0
Illumination whines like a little girl and amazingly Brian seems like the level headed one, even though the note/email was directed at him.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:01 pm rating: 7
If anyone wrote me an email that long about that kind of petty stuff, I’d just stop reading it and ask about the issue next time I see them.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:22 pm rating: 3
illumination seems like just as much of a douche as his weird name implies he would be.
So is the girlfriend’s name Becky or Vicky? They seemed to use both names interchangably.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:31 pm rating: 4
#12. Vicky is Brian’s girl and Becky is the other roomie, well i think so.
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
I think Vicky=Becky and Brian accidentally missed a few spots when he went through and changed names.
May 15, 2008 at 6:58 pm rating: 5
Sep 22, 2007 at 2:57 pm rating: 1
I thought the roommate’s name was Shelly, and that the girlfriend’s name was Vicky, so who the hell is Becky? Why is Becky capitalized and Vicky is never capitalized?
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:15 pm rating: 1
I’m guessing Becky was Brian’s girlfriend when he moved in. Now he’s with Vicky, but he’s trying to argue that girlfriend visitation rights were always in his contract.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:22 pm rating: 1
My theory is that Vicky turned into Becky through a search & replace, and that lower-case vicky didn’t make it. Gee, I’m sure glad Illumination said she FUCKING HATES DRAMA at the outset, because otherwise, I might think otherwise. Umm… but why the hell did she post this on a message board?
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:26 pm rating: 4
And as to why he capitalizes his old girlfriend’s name but doesn’t bother with his current girlfriend’s, well, that’s between him and vicky.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:27 pm rating: 1
why is everyone saying hookah is pot?
hookah is usually tobacco…
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:31 pm rating: 1
Brian says he is unhappy with smoking pot in the house.
May 31, 2009 at 11:19 am rating: 2
I’m on Team Less-Really-Long-Posts-Complaining-About-Roomates.
After all, this is passiveaggressivenotes, not passiveaggressivelongemails.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:36 pm rating: 0
#19 j: “why is everyone saying hookah is pot?”
Maybe because they’re Smith students?
Anyway, you can smoke hashish in a hookah. Also opium.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:41 pm rating: 0
Oh dear God, there is absolutely no way I’m reading all of that. No fucking way.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
bridget, that’s what i was thinking, too. brian definitely seems like the level-headed one, and i think wrote a perfectly polite reply…apologetic for the things he should regret, and unapologetic for the things he shouldn’t. i totally disagree with morpho aurora about the fact that brian and vicky/becky should just get their own place if they want to spend most of their time with one another…as he said in the email, they split their time between her place and his place, which i think it perfectly equitable to his roommates in terms of utilities/food/etc. if the two of them eat communal food every other day, that’s essentially the same thing as one person eating communal food everyday. i do think, though, that shelly shouldn’t have to bend over backwards to accomodate vicky/becky’s need to shower, though.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:47 pm rating: 2
OMG. They’re both amazingly PA (Brian even admits it, which is just priceless) and pretty whiny, but I think Brian is just a bit of a fool who feels bad about being useless, whereas “illumination” is a proper psycho-in-the-making.
Sep 22, 2007 at 3:51 pm rating: 0
the fact the he’s called iilumination makes me think he might be a knob.lol
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:03 pm rating: 0
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:06 pm rating: 0
I dunno, both of these messages seem to be pretty reasonable to me. I can see both points of view. I agree with zhokuai, though – I’d take one look at the length of that first e-mail and my eyes would start glazing over. As it is, I pretty much skimmed the last half of both messages.
At any rate, I am Team Live Alone and Love It.
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:14 pm rating: 2
wow…..that was a heck of alot of info at one time. I admit after about 2 paragraphs of whine, whine, whine my eyes started to cross.
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:21 pm rating: 0
That’s waaaay too long. And not passive aggressive or funny at all… just a discussion over email that should have happened live.
“Illumination” (what the hell?) = bossy
Brian = a douche to bring his gf in when she pays nothing
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:40 pm rating: 1
I was totally Team “Brian” until he dug in his heels about the freeloading girlfriend, whatever her name happens to be. Now I don’t really give a rat’s ass about any of them. Wait, maybe Shelley is ok. At least she didn’t write a thesis on the apartment like the other two. In fact, I feel sorry that she has to live with such douches.
Has anyone tried to write an email this long? Have you timed yourself? How can we be expected to believe Brian has no time for anything when he has an hour or so to read and reply? Seem to me the whole place would be in better shape if composing/writing/replying time was spent more productively – and no, I don’t mean on the hookah.
But I have to add (since I have been waiting for a new post to do this):
That perspicacious organic food was fuckin’ lugubrious.
Sep 22, 2007 at 4:52 pm rating: 3
First off, I am not going to read that doozy of a letter. Secondly, I am with team live alone and love it like dawn. I have never touched the roommate scene out of my generosity toward my fellow man—being that I might murder anyone in close proximity of myself, unless I want them there for some reason.
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:10 pm rating: 1
team live alone and love it
if you need company, get a dog
but for god’s sake don’t let it bark all the fucking time!
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:17 pm rating: 2
OMG. This is tooooo long. I’m taking a nap & get back to it later. Later!
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:31 pm rating: 0
The only real mistake Brian made was living with someone who calls themself “illumination”
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:36 pm rating: 3
I think she gets her screen name from illumination night, a smith college homecoming ritual involving japanese paper lanterns and candles (no coal).
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:38 pm rating: 1
Or her mom was waaaay into smith college alumnae ritual.
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:39 pm rating: 0
Came to see the new note and didn’t give myself enough time to read a FREAKING NOVEL.
I’ll get back to you on my thoughts and late night comments in about a week, when I’ve finished reading it.
Sep 22, 2007 at 5:49 pm rating: 0
Believe me when I say I am not a fan of Passievagressivenovels.com
No Thanks Terry.
Sep 22, 2007 at 6:12 pm rating: 1
I think both those letters were a bit long, but atleast they attempted to actually communicate. Although via mail isn’t the most optimal way.
I mean, P-A bitchiness is best enjoyed when in a more compressed form.
Sep 22, 2007 at 6:13 pm rating: 0
I think I have it figured out, Shelly is roomie, vicky is girlfriend and Becky is most likely a mutual friend or something.
Sep 22, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
Brian tickles me. He begins each subject with an apology, then proceeds to explain why he has done nothing wrong in regards to said subject.
Bri-Bri and Vicky need their own place. Bri has no time with his class scedule? As I recall college there were maybe 2 two-hour classes per day, 3 tops with most of the middle of the day(3-hours) free. If he can find time for Vicky he can find time for home.
Illumination is not P-A, she is A-R. A real hands on personality (I will rearrange the cupboards for all. I don’t want to chip in for any non-organic food). Why does she not only wipe her ass with the first third of the roll because she paid first?
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:21 pm rating: 1
Oh, and Vicky….Get your ass up early and go home to your own shower. You don’t pay water or sewer here. I doubt you bring your own soap, wash cloth and towels, and am pretty sure you do not help with the laundry.
Brian, take your girlfrind to a motel…what makes you think your female roomies want to hear you banging your slut?
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:27 pm rating: 2
anonymous for now
Anyone who calls themself “illumination” is a total ass.
Sep 22, 2007 at 7:58 pm rating: 0
I am liking this post more and more, mostly because both sides get alot of votes, and people clearly have very strong opinions on this topic.
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:39 pm rating: 0
Illumination: male or female?
Cast your votes…
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:44 pm rating: 0
Nevermind…I just checked the profile. 32-year old female. Self-described as stubborn and earthy. So what’s a little coal?
Sep 22, 2007 at 9:55 pm rating: 0
Canthz B! You need to chill out mrs… Have you never had a boyfriend? Do you require all of your potential flatmates to register for the clergy before they move in? It’s all about give and take. Don’t be too harsh, otherwise when its your turn for love, you run the risk of becoming the worlds biggest hypocrite… and that last post was just nasty.
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:09 pm rating: 1
Lisa…you just don’t know Canthz, yet. Are you a newbie to PAN?
He’s just joking. He’s all for the liberation of sluts, everywhere. Trust me. And I agree that vicky can go home & shower if she has an issue. It’s NOT her apartment…so she should just STFU!!!!
Oh, and #43-LOL…I completely agree!!!
And I also agree that Becky is a separate persona. And sense a little sexual tension as well. So, maybe former flame reduced to casual friend, now?
Sep 22, 2007 at 10:54 pm rating: 0
damn! i agree 100%, lisa. canthz b, in your opinion should significant others never be allowed to sleep over? really, you expect here to chip in and pay for sewage and water? um, if these guys are renting, *they’re* not even paying for sewage and water. i’m assuming that all three roommates have their own separate supplies of soap/washcloths/towels/etc (at least this has been true of every roommate situation i’ve been in), and i’m assuming that brian’s girlfriend would only be using his supplies, so that’d be an issue between the two of them. chill out, girl!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 1
Uh, he’s a boy, smash.
He’s just JOKING!!!!
That’s what he does, joke.
Where are you C_B? You should be defending yourself!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:12 pm rating: 0
wait I don’t get it, so they don’t actually go to smith, right? and, if they do, illumination is 32? and brian is male? and they go to smith?
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
dunno if anyone answered this. I went to Smith.
They have a really good program for women who stopped their education to have kids or whatever and now want to earn a degree, so there’s always a couple dozen older students in the undergrad body. (Google Ada Comstock if interested). Presumably Illumination is one such student.
Brian may be a grad student (there’s usually a handful of male grad students) but is more likely transgendered (Vicky probably identifies as bisexual). There’s a fairly substantial female-to-male trans population at Smith, and periodically they (at least, some of them) get annoyed by the lack of gender-neutrality in various college documents, and then I’m really not sure what (or if) they’re thinking. Otherwise they’re typically quite nice. (I was told that there were also a few male-to-female trans students, but I only ever met one and I think she was an alum.)
May 20, 2009 at 12:23 am rating: 0
Have not read all but….I am a guy. I treat my lady with respect and feel that a woman who respects herself does not advertise when she is getting hers.
Who said NEVER stay overnight?…Surely not I!
What I said is that if you’re not on the damned lease you belong in your own home most nights.
My roommate is my 22 year old son, he pays half of the rent and takes his conquests to a motel because I taught him that a respectful woman does not need to say good morning to me. When she gives up her stull should be discreet.
More after I read more!!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:22 pm rating: 1
When it’s my turn for love? I’m nearly 46 years old with two daghters and two step sons…all adults you twit! perhaps when you grow up a tad, you will value your privacy a little more.
Believe me, the more people that know how often you get laid, the more people that are calling you a slut…mostly women BTW.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
Smash you knuckle-head…If they are renting, sewage and water is included in their rent…otherwise it would be lowere…do you still believe in something for nothing? Think Santa covers the cost of living? GET REAL!!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:28 pm rating: 0
#49 Brian does not have time to do laundry, or did you not read the note? Also, they were doing things communally, or did you not read the note?
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
BTW if she is using Brian’s wash cloth and towel (since he does not come off as the type to frequent white sales) she is a skank as well.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:31 pm rating: 0
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
SPECIAL DELIVERY FOR LISA AND SMASH:
GO DO OPRAH!!!……and do her well! ROTFLMAO
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:44 pm rating: 0
*he bows* A-B
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
This photo is nothing compared to some of the stuff they show in regards to those weird “cat-hoarder” men and women on Animal Planet’s Animal Cops shows. Have you see some of those hell-holes!? People have rooms with crap piled to the ceiling and they’ve created tunnels and trails for getting from room-to-room.
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
OOps Boggy you posted under the wrong letter, but yes those are real survival courses!
Sep 22, 2007 at 11:54 pm rating: 0
Scary. Those cat people.
I have two, but am soooooo not into tunnels of trash & wading thru the proverbial sea of cat litter extraordinaire.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:12 am rating: 0
Vicky, Brian loves to do you where the other girls can hear. It makes him feel like a man and boosts his ego. Be reminded that not too long ago he was burning Becky’s rug. When he is done with your’s there will be another.
I predict that his break-up line will be “It’s not you, it’s me…I just don’t have time to do right by you what with school and all.”
just because your girlfriend is moaning on the other side of the wall, it does NOT make any of your roomies horny. it just makes them bitchy from sleep deprivation. advertising your sex life to your room mates is tacky, unless you are doing the room mate. or you are all really really good friends. maybe not even then.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:21 am rating: 1
Canthz– amen sister. That’ll be Brian’s parting shot to Vicky/Becky/Bitsy/Whatever– “It’s not you… it’s me! I’m so busy with school and everything… I just can’t give you all the time you deserve… you’re a great girl and you deserve someone who can give you all the attention you need,” etc. *SNORE*
Man. That’s was a long-ass email. Much ado about nothing.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
People SRIll think that you are a girl, C B!
And…Brian will also add that he has no time for vicky, ’cause he’s too busy smoking the hookah pipe & “hey-oh, hey-oh….Walk Like an Egyptian”.
Can’t believe no one picked-up on that!!!
Oh, and leaving flaming coals to burn the house down!
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:33 am rating: 0
oops. that was supposed to be “still”
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:34 am rating: 0
Illumination is in love with Brian. She agreed to let him live there hoping that they could get together. Instead, Brian met Vicky. Illumination is insanely jealous, but can’t admit it. Instead, she writes him a long email complaining about Vicky, the carpet, and the garbage.
Brian is clueless and thinks that Illumination actually meant what she said in the email, so his reply was fairly straightforward, but completely missing the point.
That’s also why Illumination found Brian’s response to be so infuriating when it’s not really all that exciting.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:38 am rating: 2
i’m still amazed these people posted on the smith blog about smoking all the time. that just floors me. maybe i am naive, but if i was gonna do something that is illegal, i sure wouldn’t put it on the damned internet. down here a hookah is still considered paraphenalia, and it’ll ensure that you eat cold grits for breakfast.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:39 am rating: 0
I had to look the damned thing up on wikipedia! *hopelessly out of touch old guy* we just used EZ Widers back in the day! ROTFLMAO
I never had a high tech high!
The future is fucking delicious! So are cold grits after a good smoke I recall.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:43 am rating: 0
#69 (nice number BTW), you think so? Even though he was apparently seeing Becky when he moved in. HMMM…maybe illumination ran Becky off and moved too slowly before Vicky stole the playground slide?
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:45 am rating: 0
#72 canthz you just totally stole that!! and the cold grits i was talking about are served at the parish jail usually accompanied by whatever nastiness somebody felt like leaving in your bowl.
Sep 23, 2007 at 12:55 am rating: 0
Nah, vicky is Becky and Illumination has poor find-and-replace skills. Brian may or may not have been up front about how much time vicky/Becky would be spending there before he moved in. Illumination still must have thought she could win over Brian at that point, though.
Now cold hard reality has come crashing down, and Becky leaves her birth control packages in the garbage for Illumination to take out.
Sep 23, 2007 at 1:03 am rating: 3
angola is one of them
lots of jails down here, i wonder why?
Sep 23, 2007 at 1:06 am rating: 0
Then Vicky has more than a hot shower to worry about because her man called her Becky…a cardinal sin in my experience.
Sep 23, 2007 at 1:08 am rating: 0
Angola is a cruel joke on Black convicts. The judge says “15 years in Angola and the Brotha thinks he’s going to the Motherland! LOL
Sep 23, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 0
angola used to have a sign up by the front gate that read something like
it took you awhile to get here
aaron neville’s angola bound is a great song tho.
Sep 23, 2007 at 1:13 am rating: 0
Boy, NJ smells so good to me right now, tell all the Jersey jokes you like, I’m staying put until retirement!
Sep 23, 2007 at 1:17 am rating: 0
Wow, much ado about nothing… This isn’t PA, it’s plain-miscommunication-to-the-point-really-long-emails-are-used.
Taking out the trash: Less whining from illum, more promptness from Brian. If you don’t like the way someone does it, do it yourself.
Girlfriend: flatmate discussion. If there’s consensus, bring her in but keep her off everyone’s toes, otherwise just do your stuff out of the flat. All flatmates should have equal say with regards to outsiders… unless one or more of them do no work.
Coal on the carpet: Brian, just tell the landlords/ladies already. Own up to what you did, don’t own up to what you didn’t.
Food: Keep your own separate compartments, anything you want to share can be put on the table.
4 issues that ought to be easily resolved if they would find time to sit down and thresh it out.
Next PA note, please.
Sep 23, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 1
Dear Moderator, Would it possible to post a message to people who post images of emails explaining to them how to post images so that my brain does not bleed trying to read it?
If you paste teh screendump into MS Paint instead of MS Word or whatever else they are using then its perfectly clear and readable.
Don’t ask me why this works but it works.
Sep 23, 2007 at 8:41 am rating: 0
Sep 23, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
I had no problem reading it, did you click on the image?
Sep 23, 2007 at 11:55 am rating: 0
According to the girl’s profile who seems like she has such a hatred of drama, she is 32 years old. 32 and you’re still living with roommates? Get a fucking life, girl! Although I do sympathize with her complaints, shut up about it and get a new place.
Sep 23, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 1
I know I wasn’t the only one that said, “Fuck that! I’m not reading anything that long!”
Put it on an audiobook, and I’ll throw it on my ipod for my next long drive.
Sep 23, 2007 at 5:15 pm rating: 0
While I do not particularly like Illumination, does anyone else think Brian is a weak guy trying to get his way over women that he thinks he can take advantage of? As in his non-apology apologies.
Sep 23, 2007 at 5:58 pm rating: 0
and these are people who get high?
Sep 23, 2007 at 7:06 pm rating: 0
I think it’s funny that illu asked a few people to read the rant before she posted it. And her letter to Brian still sucks!!!!
What’s up with that?
And maybe she (in her haste to change names) forgot that she had changed vicky to Becky & overlooked the name-swap.
Just a thought…..
Sep 23, 2007 at 10:15 pm rating: 0
#89 Good idea A-b, maybe Illumination really does have a crush on Bri-Bri and was so pissed at Vicky she flashed back to another cat-fight from her past.
Sep 23, 2007 at 11:44 pm rating: 0
She was lost, first saying she was not going to change names, then deciding that she would.
Sep 23, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
Letters like this make me have anxiety! We’ve all been in these types of situations with roomies. I think we should all try as hard as possible to have our own apartments and houses, with no roommates. That would solve all of the world’s problems…no roomies. Just live-in partners and spouses…and maybe children. Then, these issues wouldn’t arise. Everyone feels jilted…and it’s so confusing about where it all begins!
Sep 24, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 0
And to #61…jeez. I am such a idiot and you are sooo kind! Thank you for not making fun of me.
Sep 24, 2007 at 12:42 am rating: 0
You should all feel ashamed for making fun of someone who just want’s to resolve conflict and make nice. I just dont have the energy to even explain here why I’m SO RIGHT and why my name is illusion and it’s MY NAME *NOT* just something I “call my self” but I’ll just say, that pot was fucking delicious.
Sep 24, 2007 at 12:47 am rating: 0
No fun made B_W, I understand which post you were referring to…I should have put a smiley…my bad on that.
Sep 24, 2007 at 1:45 am rating: 0
#94 Thank goodness you do not have the energy, we don’t have the energy for another encyclopedia sized post.
Enjoy your pot and the illusions that result.
Sep 24, 2007 at 1:51 am rating: 0
GVI – thanks for the tip! I didn’t click on the image. I just tried to read it as it appeared on the main page.
Now I can read these things without getting a headache
Sep 24, 2007 at 8:21 am rating: 0
I am very happy that I do not live with someone who schedules house meetings and has a chore list.
Sep 24, 2007 at 8:22 am rating: 0
In one of Illumination’s subsequent posts, she says that Brian and Vicky do not spend one night apart, but the reason they don’t want to get a place together is because they are “devote” Christians and are getting married next spring.
Sep 24, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
If I still lived with roommates at 32, I’d kill myself, Vicky or no Vicky. We old people value our privacy.
Sep 24, 2007 at 9:51 am rating: 0
I have to admit that I’e only read one paragraph of the note so far, but it is gonna be great- I can tell:
“I’ve read this note over three times myself, had my room mate read it, hired a proofreader to read it, sent it to my high school Compostition teacher for review, and then read it myself again twice more…”
Sep 24, 2007 at 10:07 am rating: 0
When I clicked on her profile, it said she was 15. Maybe she’s got multiple personalities?
Although someone who creates a post titled “my roommate sucks” probably is 15.
Sep 24, 2007 at 10:32 am rating: 0
P-A comment below. Skip it if you like.
I had no problem reading the post (clicking on the screenshot goes to the original forum page, where it’s much more readable), but with the *comments* I had to give up. If you can’t bother to read something through and grasp the details, why comment on it?
Illumination’s pot smoking and Brian’s hookah are two separate concerns.
Most, nearly all, Smith students are female. Note the gender-specific word “alumnae” in the name of the forum.
Many renters pay for sewage and water. I do.
For my money, the person who should pay for the carpet repair is *Ben*, whoever the hell he is. He’s the moron who knocked over the burning object.
I’m absolutely on team illumination. Only the shittiest of roommates would attempt to conceal material damage to the apartment from the landlords. Breach of contract. Credit risk. No joking matter.
Assume the comment from illumination saying “my name is illusion” is a fake.
Sep 24, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: 2
“If you canâ€™t bother to read something through and grasp the details, why comment on it?”
You said you gave up on the comments. Does that mean you didn’t read them all? If so, why are you commenting on them?
1. There were people here who didn’t know about the various uses for a hookah.
2. There were people here that didn’t know Smith has a primarily female population.
3. Clearly you did not read the entire e-mail either, because Ben caused the first burn, but Brian caused the second.
4. Thanks for letting us know about the fake, because certainly this is the first time in these comment sections that people have pretended to be someone else.
Sep 24, 2007 at 11:23 am rating: 0
Apparently Illumination is now getting a lot of e-mails from people.
Sep 24, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
Wow, what a bunch of losers.
Why do roommates try to establish a familial lifestyle? You don’t have to share food, everybody buys and prepares their own unless a family style meal is planned and agreed to. Houseguests are limited to one per roommate and overnight guests should be approved by all on a case by case basis.
You have to establish strict ground rules from the start because conflict is inevitable, limiting opportunities for disagreements will make it easier to resolve thos conflicts when they arise.
As for college I have some advice: stay in the dorm. It’s no utopia but the rules have already been established and there is a formal conlict/resolution procedure in place. Besides, there’s not much room in the dorm so it’s pretty much a sleeping area. That cuts down on interaction.
Sep 24, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: 2
And as an addendum to #104-105 (because I think it was forgotten by Katzndogz), who was replying to #103………DUH!!!!
Sep 24, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
Claw71 said: Wow, what a bunch of losers.
Claw71 said: Houseguests are limited to one per roommate
Wow, what an uptight loser.
Sep 24, 2007 at 7:30 pm rating: 0
#108, claw(#106) is right, maybe two guests to watch the game on weekends etc. but they go home. Best to make your place a home and visit your friend’s place and make that the “Party House”. Tear their shit up, don’t bring that crap home!
Sep 24, 2007 at 8:15 pm rating: 1
BTW Gene, If you think claw is uptight and you have your friends gather at your place…guess who is being played for a fool?…fool.
Sep 24, 2007 at 8:19 pm rating: 1
Seems like Gene didn’t get the handbook on living with people.
Sep 24, 2007 at 8:42 pm rating: 0
Because there’s clearly no middle ground between a statute declaring “thou shalt have 1 (one) metric friend per housemate per day” and having a ‘party house’ where ‘shit’ gets ‘torn up’, is there Cathanz? How many petty rules does a house really need? Wouldn’t it be better to have a general ground rule along the lines of, say, keep your roomies in the picture if you’re planning on having people over, and make sure your guests treat them respectfully? Seems to work pretty well at my place, but then I actually like my housemates and their friends.
GVI, you crack me up. Really, you can tell that just from one sentence? Seems like you never got the handbook on not being an ass tick.
Sep 25, 2007 at 12:22 am rating: 0
Gene I guess you didn’t know that was my middle name
Now image that you are living with 3 other roomies, one night you decide to have friends over, (let’s say more than 4) without consulting with your roomies, (just to watch the game or something) and you get there and lo and behold one of your roomies has a early start in the morning or something or they have their 1 friend over, and they happen to be watching a movie in the communal area, now what do you do? You can’t go to you room because YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND OVER!!
Sep 25, 2007 at 12:57 am rating: 0
Jesus… Illumination is a complete nutbag. Look at all the time she spent not just writing that email but discussing it with people in the comments section. Why can’t people just talk to each other?!
Oh yeah because this website wouldn’t exist.
Sep 25, 2007 at 6:25 am rating: 0
dirty old lady
If the girlfriend is going to be living there and participating in household decision-making, she really needs to be paying an equal share of the expenses. They should just make her roommate #4 and let her nag Brian into taking out the garbage or whatever when it’s his turn.
Sep 25, 2007 at 7:26 am rating: 1
Looks like the original forum posts were deleted. Anyone have copies of the note in a *readable* format?
Sep 25, 2007 at 9:45 am rating: 0
If you look at the images above in a new tab, they should be legible.
Sep 25, 2007 at 12:11 pm rating: 0
Becky is obviously vicky’s evil twin. She is also sleeping with Brian.
Whether or not vicky (or Becky) has a right to expect a shower there, she absolutely doesn’t have the right to complain about the actual rent-paying tenants doing so.
It doesn’t matter whether Brian or Ben actually, physically made the carpet burns. Brian was there smoking with his friends. It happened “on his watch.” He is responsible even if Ben did the actual burning. When you have people over in a home you share, it’s your job to make sure they don’t damage anything and your fault if you fail to make sure they don’t.
Sep 25, 2007 at 12:28 pm rating: 1
@tk – oh yeah, thanks!
Sep 25, 2007 at 1:49 pm rating: 0
Seconding Stace’s comment at #6. This was too hard to read in its current form, and the link to smith.dailyjolt.com is no longer useful, as apparently the original post was removed.
Sep 25, 2007 at 6:08 pm rating: 0
Gene, I suspect that you are an irritant to your mates even if you do like them. Does your ear ever burn? They are talking about you.
I must back up, you just may have partymates rather than roommates, in which case all is well for you. Most people, however, must learn (as part of growing older and wiser) that it is best to play outside of one’s home and be respectful of one’s home while within it.
Anyway, party on Dude, in fact invite me, just don’t bring the party to my place.
Sep 25, 2007 at 6:46 pm rating: 0
GVI…Nice real world smack-down. I DO love how Gene expanded my comments into an either or manefesto. He cannot be as stupid as he sounds so I suspect he was just being over the top for effect.
Sep 25, 2007 at 6:52 pm rating: 0
I used to have a roommate whose gf pretty much lived in the house…they started getting up extra early so they could use up all the hot water before I showered. It sucked big time and I told them so. It took one whole sentence. And then we just talked about it until they were convinced they could fool me but then I fooled them – MWAHAHAHA!
And you know why this got so heavy? Cuz that letter is SO detailed and was read – and approved, apparently – by everybody and their grandmother first. yeesh.
Claw’s idea of staying in the dorm makes a lot of sense to me – if you need those kinds of boundaries.
But if you’re going to be communal you have to be up to it. I’ve lived with, like, a thousand people (no – not at one time) but I couldn’t do it now. Now, in my home, its my way or the highway.
Sep 25, 2007 at 8:11 pm rating: 0
T-C, Home is where the heart is…not the party!
I like the cut of your jib.
I showed Gene’s commnts to my twenty-something for input so I can now say Gene has maturity issues.
Sep 25, 2007 at 9:52 pm rating: 0
I FINALLY got around to reading that whole thing – holy shit that was long.
I love the “let’s get together to discuss this” phrases. That would be a really short conversation – everything’s been hashished out via email
Brian – don’t be a douche and pay a little extra for your girlfriend to stay there. a small price to pay for a little poontang
Sep 25, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
OK team Claw71 sockpuppets (Canthz/GVI), I’m no party animal – I simply like my home to be a place where everyone can have a reasonable amount of freedom without a 3-page list of ‘house rules’ pinned to the wall. “Houseguests are limited to one per roommate and overnight guests should be approved by all on a case by case basis.” is completely over the top – the legal-speak doesn’t help any either.
If you establish ground rules of being considerate and communicating openly, you’re unlikely to need any others.
Sep 25, 2007 at 10:51 pm rating: 1
Oh, and Cathanz – ‘maturity issues’? Most of us got over the “You’re SO immature!” phase at around age 10. Either way, if you’re taking this comment forum seriously enough to get yourself some moral support, I think you have ‘issues’ of your own :/
Sep 25, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
Well I guess we live by different rules around here, but I just thought it was common knowledge, so I am sorry if I offended you Gene.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:05 pm rating: 0
Thou shalt not get thine undies in a bundle. Undies in crack is whack, especially thy crack below thy back.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:12 pm rating: 0
Gne, my friend, you do not have to be a party animal to have someone act a fool in your home…see Brian’s objection to feeling responsible for his friend almost burning his home to the ground. The “one guest rule would not fly with me either, but be reasonable and have just a few close friends over at a time. The “if we all like each other rule” is not workable. If you like 50 of your housemates friends, should they all be there at once?
I suspect that despite your protestations here you would really have something to say once the crowd spilled into your room. Perhaps not…as I said before…if you have partymates rather than roommates, all is well for you…..party on and don’t bring your freak-fest to my place.
Live and let sleep.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:20 pm rating: 1
Canthz – you seriously need to lay off the hookah – lol! Is “protestations” even a word?
this is what happens when you play on the darkside and try to defend your pov at the same time!
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: 1
You guys are being too reasonable. Respond to my trolling, damnit
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
Sorry Gene…it may be a “maturity” thing.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:27 pm rating: 0
Well, you did say “most of us”…clearly that does not include you.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:28 pm rating: 0
He’s less than Mishee Lola!
Truely not worth using more than 15% of the old gray matter on.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:32 pm rating: 0
Hey, Gene – bring it to the darkside – it’s more fun over there
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:36 pm rating: 0
GENE…click the troublemakers HQ tab at the top of this page.
Sep 25, 2007 at 11:43 pm rating: 0
You know what, Gene?
I happen to agree with you – its something I say all the time. Rules are for people who don’t know how to be considerate of others.
Unfortunately, there a good number of people to whom this applies. If you run into enough of them – and you will – it makes rules very attractive.
Sep 26, 2007 at 12:15 am rating: 1
Sep 26, 2007 at 12:18 am rating: 0
T-C believe it or not rules are everywhere.
Ever seen a deer attack a mountain lion?
Against the rules.
If you happen to have roomies rules become a necessity of life. Gene may not express it but even he knows there are do’s and don’ts at his place (rules).
Sep 26, 2007 at 12:20 am rating: 0
The deer/lion thing is a silly analogy. I’ve never seen my housemate crap on the ceiling, does that mean that there’s a house rule that it’s not allowed? Yes of course there are do’s and dont’s, this doesn’t equate to them being ‘ground rules’. It equates them to being normal, decent behaviour that is to be expected of (mature) adults sharing a house.
And getting back to the original point, one guest per housemate? That still makes me giggle.
Sep 26, 2007 at 12:52 am rating: 1
As I have said, one is not my preference either.
Ceiling shit? Seems to go without saying, no?
Some things need no rules but some ground rules are required, right?
Sep 26, 2007 at 12:58 am rating: 0
You are off opic, I again invite you to use the THMQ option at the top of the page…that is one of the PAN rules.
Sep 26, 2007 at 12:59 am rating: 0
Sep 26, 2007 at 1:00 am rating: 0
If Gene, your original point is that one guest is not acceptable, we have no disagreement.
More than three and we (as roommates) would have to talk, e.g., make some rule.
Sep 26, 2007 at 1:06 am rating: 0
Mrs L Carrot
What were they smoking in the hookah? This has to be the most rambly, boring passive aggressive note AND reply I’ve ever seen. It must have taken them each hours to write that when they could have sat down and sorted it out in 3 minutes face to face.
Both need to get their heads out from up their arses and belt up.
Whingefest or what?
Mrs L C
Sep 26, 2007 at 7:52 am rating: 0
Canthz_B : Natural law is really different from man-made societal rule. In fact, we can find that they are often in conflict. And that’s because humans can be silly, and in a really detailed way. Its one of my favourite things about us.
PS. um. can someone tell the spell check that I don’t spell “favourite” wrong?
Sep 26, 2007 at 8:01 am rating: 1
Post has been removed! Is there a way to zoom in on the image?
Sep 26, 2007 at 8:32 am rating: 0
Well, there’s quite a bit of room for variety within “normal, decent behavior,” isn’t there? These people were all raised in different households by different parents, who may have set vastly different standards of behavior depending on how they themselves were raised. It’s kind of like potato salad – everybody’s Mom makes it a bit differently, and that’s how you tend to like your salad even after you grow up and move out. If you gre up with onions in your salad and your roommate gre up with no onions, you;re each going to think the salad tastes funny.
Sep 26, 2007 at 11:01 am rating: 0
Some people never learn to make salad the way their parents do and just live on top ramen.
Sep 26, 2007 at 10:34 pm rating: 0
Cathanz, if nothing else I’m sure we can agree that we shouldn’t live together
Sep 27, 2007 at 7:08 pm rating: 0
> I again invite you to use the THMQ option at the top of the pageâ€¦that is one of the PAN rules.
I don’t believe in rules
Agreed Gene, Party on.
Your future kids will love a rules free home.
I cannot speak for Family Services, but best to you nonetheless.
To each his own.
Sep 27, 2007 at 8:42 pm rating: 1
#126 by Gene “If you establish ground rules of being considerateand communicating…”
#141 by Gene…do’s and don’ts do not equate to ground rules.
I luv having things in writting!
Sep 27, 2007 at 9:06 pm rating: 0
That post sucked away my will to live.
Sep 28, 2007 at 4:02 pm rating: 0
Unfortunately, the thread appears to be taken down, so there’s no way to expand the image. Does anyone have screencaps?
Dec 1, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: 0
For those who can’t read the post at the top and who are using windows xp or vista and the latest IE you can magnify the whole of your screen using a thing in the bottom right hand corner – using 200% I was able to read without difficulty.
Jan 7, 2008 at 11:38 am rating: 0
whoever said that pot smokers were relaxed….
who says they were smoking pot in the hookah? maybe it was tobacco. which would explain why they’re fucking bitchy.
Mar 5, 2008 at 12:34 am rating: 0
oops. i didn’t read it all. i realized that they did say something about smoking pot. haaa
Mar 5, 2008 at 12:37 am rating: 0
Well, that ate some time. Read both emails and all of the comments. Some of the commenters are more PA than the notes….
I’m still not sure on the Becky/vicky thing, despite all the opinions voiced…. it sounded like two different people to me, but now I’m not positive >_<
Both people sound like they’re in the wrong here…. I’m disappointed I can’t read the original forum topic, I’d like to have seen replies to that monster!
(also, people who comment a more verbose equivalent of tl;dr are copouts and shouldn’t bother commenting. It’s silly to respond to something saying that you didn’t read it)
Dec 3, 2008 at 10:07 am rating: 2
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
You call that punctuation?