But He took the wheel

September 27th, 2007 · 105 comments

Summer from Decatur, Georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in Galveston, Texas.

Dear fellow Christian, The lawns of homeowners on this street are not public parking. Please

Stealing Hot Pockets is apparently not the only thing that Jesus wouldn’t do.

Where Would Jesus Park?

joke_card.png

JESUS MIGHT LOVE YOU BUY YOUR REAR TYRES ARE BALD!!

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

FILED UNDER: Cincinnati · Decatur · Galveston · Jesus · parking · Texas · the lawn


105 responses so far ↓

  • #1   eh

    team jesus- get off the lawn ASSHOLE

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:13 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Andy bang

    Wow, way to break out the Golden Rule with that first note. Wouldn’t the Christian thing to do is share your grass with thy neighbor?

    Okay, that second one is worth a chuckle, not PA, but hey.

    That third one is funny, especially when you read the backstory. This is the PA style I can get behind — being a wiseass handing out bad (or illegal) parking justice. Heigh ho, Silver, and annoy! Whee!

    Finally, I am assuming this is from the UK, gleaning from ‘tyre’ and ‘sort it out’. I love that they have to point out the legality of the situation, and how selfish you are by putting you and others at risk. Bald Tyre Police to the rescue!

    Jesus has enough going on to be concerned with bald tires, with all of the Hot Pockets being stolen and all.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Katy

    Team Jesus – all the way. Parking on someone’s lawn in order to attend church? That’s an original sin, right there.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 4:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Nattie

    That Jesus was fucking delicious…

    Sep 27, 2007 at 5:30 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Toasty

    Loving that the last one isn’t just a casual note scribbled on an old scrap of paper from their own car or whatever, but a proper spend-some-time-at-home-and-wang-it-in-one-of-those plastic-wallets-to-protect-it-from-our-crappy-British-weather effort. Lovely stuff. Pre-meditated PA notes are just so much more A. :-D

    Sep 27, 2007 at 6:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Toasty

    Oh, and PS. In note two, I’m with team-bad-parking. “If you’re so Christian and feel my parking isn’t up to scratch, then forgive me.” (Nod to Bill Hicks… :) ).

    Sep 27, 2007 at 6:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Alison bang

    What Would Atheists Do?

    Team Jeezus on the first one. Get the fuck off my lawn!

    Maybe Jeezus can pay for a new set of rear tires…hmmmm? Or he could perform that water into wine trick and instead turn bald tires into new. I like that idea.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Nerdyradiogirl

    The person who wrote and left the note in Texas, was definately being passive. Normally you will get shot for obstructing ones lawn. Our lawns are our Holy ground.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   heisa

    what would heisa do?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   anna-banana bang

    Uh, Jesus wouldn’t park. They didn’t have cars way back then!!!

    So, that’s just dumb.

    And sorry to Joe (and everyone else) for this but: That parking space was fucking delicious!!!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   anna-banana bang

    @#9-eat naughty little kids & THEN steal their parents parking space

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   tessa

    All I can say to this one is “Thank GOD I am a PAGAN”!!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Team Cassandra

    ok, Alison – that’s priceless – you are SO on the list:

    “Team Jeezus on the first one. Get the fuck off my lawn!”

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Fraulein N bang

    Team Bald Tyres, mostly because (as Toasty pointed out) it’s premeditated PA. Sorry, but that really is fucking delicious.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Adam

    Damn hicks… How hard is it to spell tire.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   HateStupidComments

    What Would Scooby Do?
    These are good notes…the type that make your skin crawl. One time I found a note on my minivan that said, “If you would park your car just a few inches further up, Asshole, I could have parked my car here, too.” As I took the note off of my windshield, I felt extremely paranoid and began looking around, trying to figure out if the note-writer was hiding nearby with a BB-Gun, just waiting to tag me. However, in my defense, when I had parked along the street, there was a car directly in front of me and I had actually moved forward enough to touch his/her bumper…
    Grrrr…
    This series of P-A notes have caused a flood of bad memories! Now I’ll have a horrid day. Jeez…I…must…kick…a…dog…

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Toasty

    @Adam – quite hard by the looks of it. :-D
    Oh, and no damning of The Hicks.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   morpho aurora

    team get the fuck off my lawn (or my parking space) i lived in an apartment where this was a problem we couldn’t leave on sunday mornings because we would come back and not be able to park. the members of the church across the street parked in front of our building. they would cuss you out if you asked them to move. i loved being called a fucking bitch by some “christian” on their way to sunday service. makes me glad i’m not one.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   dirty old lady

    How mean, to leave a note like that on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass! That poor car was probably having a hard enough time participating in mass, without people sticking notes on it. :D

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Heather

    Actually, where WOULD Jesus park?

    I love that sheet protectors were used in picture 4. It doesn’t have quite the finality of lamination, but it’s close.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   anna-banana bang

    #16-I wrote that note on your minivan. Because you hate stupid comments

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Hey-Seuss

    But Jesus is my co-pilot! He told me to park on the lawn.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   ShagNBag

    Team Darwin.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Jessica

    When I got to the “Sort it out” on that ones about the tires, all I could think of was Tim Gunn saying “Make it work” on Project Runway – and I can totally see him writing that note. I love Tim Gunn by the way…

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Inner Space

    She may be right, but the sanctimonious way that first note was written makes me want to hunt down the note writer and do some donuts in her front lawn.

    Seriously, who brings religion into PARKING issues?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Wade bang

    Jesus wept…over your lack of parking skills.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   lauralaiwc bang

    this ruins it for the non-wackos!

    seriously though, it spins me into a crazy level of pissed off when people have the jesus fish on their cars, because they are the WORST drivers on the planet. either they are going too slow (why? are they trying to make everyone else slower? GET IN THE RIGHT LANE), or they cut you off and then shoot YOU the bird, yada yada.

    team stupid drivers should be shot in the knee caps.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Wade bang

    NRG #8

    In the part of Texas I lived in, the lawn is the parking lot, lol.

    Maybe he was late to his Christian Ethics seminar.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   lauralaiwc bang

    whoa crazy bold-ness!
    yes, but the lawn is YOUR parking not. not someone elses.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   GhostWriter

    I’m sorry, but bald tyres (I’m using the ancient Hebrew spelling here) is a obvious sign that Jesus does not love you.

    It’s all in First Michellin, 15:15 -24

    RTFM, People!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Wade bang

    Sorry, HTML hiccup.

    True, lauralai. A Texas lawn is holy ground.

    And I am sure that the person parking on the lawn:

    a. will regale his/her friends of their persecution.

    b. be convinced in their own mind that the lawn-owner is not really a “fellow christian”, or they would not object to having their lawn torn up “to the glory of God.”

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   mattiff

    fabulous! I’m a lone atheist working at a church (!!!) and we have a CONSTANT parking problem (people parking in our limited spaces when they ought not). These notes give me new ideas of literature I can distribute on their windshields. Yay!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Wade bang

    GW – this may be a British idiom, but it seems the tyre police doubt baldy’s salvation: Jesus might love you.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   lauralaiwc bang

    i love how mere mortals have decided to speak for jesus.
    hes up in heaven shaking his head.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   lauralaiwc bang

    mattiff, what made you decide to get THAT job?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Wade bang

    We are, after all, his parking emissaries, lol.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   mattiff

    lauralaiwc…LONG story, but it makes for an interesting work day nonetheless! ;-)

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Wade bang

    “Jesus, why are you crying? Because of the bloodshed in Burma? The war in Iraq? The children starving around the world?”

    “No, sniff, it’s just that, people with Christain bumper stickers aren’t honoring me by their parking and lack of tyre maintenance. I must raise an army of righteous emissaries to put P-A notes on their cars. Only then can I find peace.”

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   lauralaiwc bang

    lmao. i mean, seriously? where are jesus’ parking emissaries’ priorities? sheesh!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   the sos

    jesus was my copilot, but our plane crashed in the Andes and the heisa montser and i had to eat him.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Goldie

    Team “if it’s parked on my lawn, then it’s my car”. Thank you for this generous gift, fellow Christian. Now hand over the title.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   turrboenvy

    I’m on Team Have-Enough-Parking. I’m sick of roads being nigh UNDRIVEABLE on Sunday because churches can’t provide enough parking for their parishoners. The fuckers have the streets CLOGGED.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   the sos

    fuckers.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   mere bang

    jesus drove a camel.
    the camel ‘heisa’
    and parked it on your lawn!
    and his back hoof was flat.
    and it was dangerous.
    but then a nice blacksmith named terry fixed the hoof.
    THANKS TERRY!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 11:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   lauralaiwc bang

    common sense SHOULD dictate that you just dont park on someones lawn.

    i LOVE how the notewriter assumes this person is a fellow christian, or uses that as a guilt-trip. guilt trips dont work on me, personally.

    i havent been to church in ages, but i have always hated navigating the parking lots at churches. its “praise jesus” until evryone is trying to leave. ive seen some nasty violent behavior in church parking lots.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 11:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   todd

    go team emissary, mainly because i enjoy acting poorly on someone else’s behalf.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 11:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Goldie

    lauralaiwc, Sunday mornings are arguably the most dangerous time on the road as I’ve noticed. After all, your average church-goer is usually in his 80s.
    Getting out of the parking lot is interesting. We have two ways out and one is usually completely blocked, what with all the cars pulling up to the curb and little old ladies trying to get in.
    Almost every Sunday without fail, somebody manages to park in the fire lane. WTF?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 11:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   WanderingPenguin bang

    I was hoping I was the only one who noticed the dangling participle in the preamble, but no – that dirty old lady (#19) beat me to it. I hate dirty old ladies!

    But seriously – if your car wants to attend mass, I say let it! Freedom of religious expression, people! It’s not just for animate objects!

    Unless, of course, your car is a “Diablo” or “Fury”. Then they can stay on the lawn.

    Also, what does “mass on vacation” look like? Wouldn’t that just be Armageddon?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 12:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   eric the beehivehairdresser

    Seeing all those WWJD notes would probably drive Jesus to alcoholism.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 12:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   lauralaiwc bang

    Goldie, yes, it is insane. There is a dangerous, winding road that I have to take to get to the nearest highway and it has a church on it. Usually there are police officers out there directing traffic so there isnt a melee.

    but even so, on weekdays, people will linger in the driveway and wait until i am practically to where they are to whip their car out on the road, and get in MY lane, not the empty one next to me, or not waiting 5 seconds to get behind me.

    i have my faith and all, but i would still smack these people around for their stupidity. then they blast you when they have screwed up.

    *shudders*
    all the old people with their super-strong cologne…

    Sep 27, 2007 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   anna-banana bang

    #50-don’t you mean rather, “police officers out there directing traffic so there isn’t a Mishee“?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Juliet

    I think Jesus should be left out of motor vehicle issues because Jesus wouldn’t drive a vehicle, he’d ride a bike.

    I loved how the first note started: Dear fellow Christian…

    Even if I was a Christian it would inspire violence.

    Team Darwin!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 1:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   zsa

    # 48- WP I was wondering what “mass on vacation” was too. Although I picture the pastor in shorts and hawaiian shirt, choir director with BBQ tools and a BIG cooler of holy wine on the back porch. Makes sense then that cars are parked every-which-way including the neighbors lawn.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 1:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   WanderingPenguin bang

    zsa, I like your thinking better. Although BBQ tongs and a cooler of holy wine might come in handy at Armageddon… so maybe we’re BOTH right? :)

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Mel

    Juliet -
    I totally was going to say Jesus would ride a bike…as all christians and non-christians alike should be doing.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   claw71

    …of course Jews, Muslims and Atheists are welcome to park anywhere they’d like.

    Seriously though, I was too busy coveting my neighbors wife to realize I was parking on the grass.

    Do you suppose Jesus could park on water too?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Jaquelyn bang

    I live in Austin, TX (sadly) and churches everywhere stop traffic entirely so that the people going in and coming out have full access to the street. On one of the busiest streeets right next to the University of Texas, there is an old church with all of its parking on the OTHER side fo the road. And I had been stuck there many a time when I lived downtown. Thank god I am an athiest. :)

    Team Jesus would probably hate you.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Naomi

    I get the feeling that if Jesus didn’t want them parked on the lawn, he would do something along the lines of MOVING the damn car off the lawn.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Jaquelyn bang

    Oh, and I thank god for my athiesm because I am not subject to the crazy people who taunt these church goers in the street by coming within an inch of hitting them before stopping out of anger.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   GhostWriter

    This just in from John Tesh:

    Nighttime “Last Call” driving is much more dangerous than daytime “Church -goin’” driving.

    It says so right here!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Jaquelyn bang

    Like myself. :D

    Sep 27, 2007 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   lauralaiwc

    i almost said they should just put stop lights by church parking lots where traffic gets REALLY bad, but then we’d have to deal with shitty stops all week instead of just one day.
    thats why i sleep in till noon every sunday. then everyone is at lunch by the time i roll out of bed.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Kate

    Cincinnati is spelled wrong in the tags!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   claw71

    John Tesh has the voice of an angel, a heart of gold and a huge throbbing member that has kept Connie Selleca quite happy for a number of years.

    But that still doesn’t mean I buy anything published on his site.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   Canthz_B bang

    Solution—Drive-thru churches. Pick-up a copy of the sermon at window one, wine and wafer at window two then take your invisible entity worshiping ass home!

    Jesus doesn’t drive, he’s on the dashboard.

    Team Secular Humanism

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Canthz_B bang

    #65 Offering based on car model driven so rent a Yugo!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   anglophile

    Yeah, the tithe on a Hummer’s a bitch!

    What would PA Jesus do about people parking on his lawn every Sunday? I’m pretty sure he’d accidentally leave nails and broken bottles scattered around in his lawn.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Joe

    Note #1…. my p-a response to someone parking on my lawn would be a phone call to a towing company.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 4:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   zsa

    #54 Wp- I’m down for that party!

    I like the Drive Thru Church too~ I would probably like it better than having to hold hands with the sweaty-palmed person on either side of me.
    Team Jesus might love you, but I dont like you much at all.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   Nattie

    Some of these notes have obviously taken time, so have these good Christians been SKIPPING CHURCH to be so helpful?

    May god forgive them is all i say.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 4:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   GVI bang

    Team hugs from Jesus.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 4:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Trickster bang

    I say, if you decide that the church s going to be located so that people have to drive there, just build it out in the countryside!

    And more importantly, What Would Batman Do?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Jesus Christ

    If I had a loaf of bread for every time someone asked how I park my ride…

    the real question is, what wouldn’t I do

    I get “Jesus Christ Superstar” parking, suckers!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   the sos

    “Yeah, the tithe on a Hummer’s a bitch!

    What would PA Jesus do about people parking on his lawn every Sunday? I’m pretty sure he’d accidentally leave nails and broken bottles scattered around in his lawn.”

    you said nails. ahahaha! (i’m ready to go to hell now)

    Sep 27, 2007 at 5:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Canthz_B bang

    #72 “…They paved paradise and put up a parking lot .” :-)

    Sep 27, 2007 at 6:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Team Cassandra

    Now, as a sorta distant cousin to Christians – I always find need some education in these kinds of conversations so I wondered…

    Has Jesus always had such a foul mouth? I mean, from a distance, he comes across as a pretty nice guy so I’m a little surprised. But I found some interesting examples at #1(!), #7&#73

    Maybe that kinda talk made some people nervous cuz, y’all also asked
    What Would:
    Scooby Doo Do?#16
    Batman Do?#72
    Heisa Do? #9&11
    Athiests Do? #7

    And I can’t get PA Jesus from #67 out of my head, nor can I remove #54′s “cooler of holy water”

    #20, #22, 26, #30,#34, #38, #40,#44,

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   Team Cassandra

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   Team Cassandra

    (oopsie) #49, #55, #58 and #73 all speculate on the true nature of Jesus . That’s a lot! It gave me all kinds of new insight into the inner workings of Christianity.

    And #42 and #43 are just funny because I can be a little 8 year old boy like that:P

    As far as I can tell: Team Darwin is in the lead with Team Get the Fuck Off My Lawn at a close second.

    So, after my intensive study, I have decided to join Team Hugs from Jesus with GVI.

    PS. Thank God I don’t drive:)

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Trickster bang

    Ya, you are right Cassandra, who really cares anyway? It’s not about what *insert name here* would do, it’s about what the noteleavers feel THEY in their moral superiority would do.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   BoggyWoggy

    Hmmm. I think the Christians should BURN RUBBER on the lawn, just as they BURNED WITCHES at the stake.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   GVI bang

    WOOOO!!! I made the list :) .

    Sep 27, 2007 at 7:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   Matt

    > “The way you have parked makes our Lord and Savior cry”

    What a pussy.

    Sep 27, 2007 at 8:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Bee

    Tyre is a UK variant of Tire…sort it out sounds a british saying too so I’m thinking the person is British..

    Sep 27, 2007 at 9:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   tweedle

    I’ve been wondering — I know my flag decal won’t get me into heaven anymore, but what about my ribbon-shaped magnets?
    My ‘Honk if You’re a Clumsy Lover’ sticker?

    (Ah swear to gard I saw that bumper sticker on a car today). What in the heck could it all mean?

    Sep 27, 2007 at 11:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   WanderingPenguin bang

    re #76 – actually, TC, zsa said it was “holy WINE” in the cooler – not water. Whole ‘nother thing!

    But I agree: Team Darwin FTW!

    Also, re #63 – I think Cincinnati is spelled wrong no matter HOW you spell it!

    Sep 27, 2007 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Marc

    I lived near a church. There was a huge parking lot across the street from said church, but the Xtians insisted on parking along the street, NEXT to the church, making it almost impossible to drive down the street.

    I dunno why, but whenever I started singing ‘Nearer my car to Thee,’ as we tried to drive down the street, my dad would punch me in the arm.

    Sep 28, 2007 at 12:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   GVI bang

    #20 Heather. Actually, where WOULD Jesus park?

    Jesus would car pool.

    Sep 28, 2007 at 12:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   Chris

    ah, I love that the last one is in a sheet protector.

    Sep 28, 2007 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   will

    I believe that “Sort it Out” does not appear in the bible.

    Sep 28, 2007 at 1:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Lurker

    I’ve often wondered why churches don’t have carpool boards to save on parking. They seem to be into fellowship and togetherness and community on so many other issues; why not this one? And less money spent on gas is more in the collection plate.

    And if the fellow Christian was home to see a car on his lawn, that meant he was skipping church himself! (Yeah, I know, maybe he goes to a different church that lets out earlier. But I have more fun picturing him as a skiver.)

    I used to go to church in a small town where almost all the members lived within a reasonable walking distance. Yet, they all drove every Sunday, filling up the parking lots of the post office and school next door.

    Sep 28, 2007 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   aliastaken

    I ride my bike to church.

    Sep 29, 2007 at 7:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   boo_boo_kitty

    Jesus might be telling you to park on my lawn, but Satan is telling me to call a towing company.

    Sep 29, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   GVI bang

    Hey J_C, where would you park?

    Sep 29, 2007 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   Canthz_B bang

    There is a community of Hasidic Jews (I probable phrased that wrong out of ignorance)near me that has it solved best,…no driving on the Sabbath…they walk to Synagogue.
    It sure adds to family time together, I must say.
    I kinda like it.

    Sep 29, 2007 at 8:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   Canthz_B bang

    “I probably phrased…”

    Sep 29, 2007 at 8:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   RP

    I would have just had the car towed. Honestly, who thinks it's ok to park on a stranger's lawn?

    Oct 1, 2007 at 1:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   Heywood

    The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of tire tracks, it was then that I drove you.

    Oct 1, 2007 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   Shane

    Team PA Excommunication for pic #3

    Oct 4, 2007 at 11:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   fellasheowed

    number 3 reminds me of the p-a notes i used to get for parking in the back alley, legally, despite what the wife of the lawyer down the steet would suggest…she also tried to pile on the rationalization that it somehow would endangered her safety because it was her only entrance/exit whereas i have a front street…ironically ditching that hooptie for a new vehicle seems to have solved her concerns

    Jan 27, 2008 at 12:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Summer

    To y’all who are casting the first stone:

    the person who got the “Dear Fellow Christian” note (not me; too lazy to go to church while on vacation) has a highly developed conscience as well as a sense of humor. She was chagrined to have trespassed on someone’s lawn and caused distress. When showing us the note, she felt the need to explain that she had parked on a sandy patch alongside the road (Galveston Island roads generally have sand on either side) and not realized that the adjacent homeowner considered it “lawn”…

    Feb 1, 2008 at 12:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   mahvelous, just mahvelous | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] related: but He took the wheel [...]

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   ben baena

    :-)

    Aug 20, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   And Jesus said: “Duhhh” | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] but He took the wheel [...]

    Apr 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   So much for turning the other cheek | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] but He took the wheel [...]

    Jul 6, 2010 at 11:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   It helps to have friends in high places | Comedy To Follow On Twitter

    [...] “We live on a middle-class urban street with too many cars and people who think they have a God-given right to a place. Sometimes people push their luck and make life difficult for others with their parking, [...]

    Dec 9, 2012 at 10:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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