thanks to gina in flemington, n.j. for forwarding along these e-mails between a coworker and her former roommate regarding a $22 gas bill. click to enlarge!
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
3 cents for the saliva
October 1st, 2007 · 89 comments
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
FILED UNDER: e-mail · jersey · just wondering · money · rebuttals · roommates
89 responses so far ↓
#1 Wondering Why
Um…okay?
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:24 pm rating: 0
#2 Sharona
I think we're missing one, the two images here are the same.
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:26 pm rating: 0
#3 Andy
I was thinking the same thing. Is this like one of those magic-eye things, so if I squint at it a long time, a funny note will appear floating in front of me?
I'll let you know if it works out.Â
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:27 pm rating: 0
#4 anna-banana
Snooze.
Not one of the better entries.
Next….
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:30 pm rating: 0
#5 Sharona
Well, Tracy, I'll bet your last email got flagged and you now have an FBI file. But I'm sure it was worth it to get that p-a off your chest.
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
#6 GVI
That saliva was fucking delicious also Tracy needs a hug from Jesus, or she needs to room with Illumination.
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:44 pm rating: 0
#7 twofer
team tracy, without a doubt.
but then again everyone from new jersey is a bitch.
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:46 pm rating: 0
#8 Sarah
Not boring. I wish I knew the backstory. Asking for a SASE to return a freaking deposit? B*tch please.
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:48 pm rating: 0
#9 Canthz_B
I have some really funny jokes for this one…but I'd have to charge you!
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#10 anna-banana
Wait! I take back my snooze. It looked like the top email was posted twice. I just now read the bottom message.
That Tracy sounds very much like the perfect girl for CLAW!
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:53 pm rating: 0
#11 BoggyWoggy
I actually like these entries. If you think about it,electronic mail has really had a positive impact on the access we have to send passive-aggressive crap to one another. I was guilty of that for quite awhile, until I got burned (finally) by a boss. It was the best "talkin' to" I'd gotten since being a little kid. These gals are no exception.
Me (as their boss): OK, Angela and Frida. Here are some socker-boppers for you to hash this out. Ready? "ding!"
Angela: I'm sick of your crap, Frida! "BOP!"
Frida: You have no idea, Angela! "BAM!"
ding, ding..
Me: OK. Fight's over. Everyone get back to work!
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:55 pm rating: 0
#12 Team Cassandra
ooo…pissy…
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
#13 morpho aurora
i really like tracy's response. just enough smart ass to point out carol's whining. a pre stamped and addressed envelope?
a-b's matchmaking idea is even better!
Oct 1, 2007 at 10:59 pm rating: 0
#14 team
Team NAMBLA!
No, wait
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:00 pm rating: 0
#15 todd
those man-loving-boys were fucking delicious
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:01 pm rating: 0
#16 Canthz_B
#4, NJ may be a bitch, but the people?
General Schwartzkoff (spelling?) is from NJ too. I suspect Saddam thought he was a bitch to deal with, so you are in good company my friend.
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#17 Wade
Funny. Adding up the "additional charges" comes to $1.035, not $1.005. I guess Tracy decided to throw in the saliva for free.
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:05 pm rating: 0
#18 Mishee
I had three words after I read this… "What the FUCK?" Wow, I am an accountant and I don't think I could be that specific with invoicing as she was…. Kudos!
But on the other hand, I am on Team Pay Your Damn Electric Bill When You Leave!
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#19 eh
har har. team 0. lame.
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:27 pm rating: 0
#20 Canthz_B
I bet our NJ political corruption beats your political corruption any day!!! ROTFLMAO
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#21 Sweet Jane
Wow, her time sure isn't worth much…
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:45 pm rating: 0
#22 Zsa
T_C, I think you mean oooo….Sassy
boring…
Oct 1, 2007 at 11:58 pm rating: 0
#23 Katy
Yeah… if someone can't find an envelope and shove some money inside but instead wants a SASE… the totally P-A reply is deserved. Team Tracy.
That $1.035 was fucking delicious.
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:02 am rating: 0
#24 Lashes
All I can say is WTF! NAMBLA?! Really? She had to go there?
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:19 am rating: 0
#25 Naomi
Heheh… You all owe me 5 cents for when I typed this!
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:51 am rating: 0
#26 lola
I scanned through the breakdown of charges, but I'm glad I caught the NAMBLA at the end - hee hee
That made it all worthwhile
Someone's been watching too much "To Catch a Predator"…
Oct 2, 2007 at 1:52 am rating: 0
#27 MJ
That was awesome. The NAMBLA thing at the end was so unexpected and brilliant. Kudos, Tracy!
Oct 2, 2007 at 2:26 am rating: 0
#28 agirlie
yawn!
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:03 am rating: 0
#29 lola
WTF? How many hours does it take for the posts to show up?
I refuse to retype
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:26 am rating: 0
#30 WanderingPenguin
Oh, absolutely: Team NAMBLA ftw!
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:43 am rating: 0
#31 WanderingPenguin
I also notice Tracy never denies not paying for her share of the last bill. I would seem to me that if you skip out on your contribution to a group billing you should count your lucky stars that you get anything back and maybe shouldn’t be so bitchy when you are asked to pony up for the stamp to send you your money. Or maybe you could offer to go by and pick it up.
I’m pretty sure I’ve worked with Tracy at every job I’ve ever held. Bitch.
Also, I don’t know a lot about New Jersey - no, I don’t wish to be enlightened, thanks anyhow! - but it seems to me that neither address is particularly close to Rutgers. So if they have both moved on, perhaps it’s time to get new email addresses and get on with their lives. Just saying, is all.
Roommates and dog-owners. Doesn’t anyone else write P/A notes any more? Sheesh. :-S
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:52 am rating: 0
#32 ahmeen
My saliva is so much more valuable.
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:53 am rating: 0
#33 GhostWriter
Team Carol, for following the established protocols for refunds (originally enacted by Tupperware). In fact, I think Tracy is being let off the hook, in that she is not being asked to provide proof of ID. We could run her saliva for a DNA trace, but all that costs money, and she still owes from the last bill..
Oct 2, 2007 at 8:25 am rating: 0
#34 Heather
I KNEW saving those halfpenny coins from the Revolutionary era would pay off one of these days.
Oct 2, 2007 at 8:38 am rating: 0
#35 no team
I’m with the Wandering Nun (oops, Penguin - sorry, just saw the Blues Brothers!). Tracy does sound like a first rate beotch - hell, if Tracy hasn’t come looking for her money after 3-4 months, I would have kept it (especially after she skipped out on the last bill!). After all, it’s Tracy’s deposit $, so if she wants it, she should make a better effort to go get it instead of waiting months!
Oct 2, 2007 at 9:00 am rating: 0
#36 Goldie
I do not like Tracy.
I'd follow her advice and donate the money to NAMBLA and give them her name and address. I'm sure they would be delighted to hit her up for more cash.
Oct 2, 2007 at 9:00 am rating: 0
#37 Adam
I like that guys style… Charging her for time he had to spend writing to her, then having the proceeds sent to NAMBLA. That the fucking raddist shit ive ever seen.
Oct 2, 2007 at 9:04 am rating: 0
#38 turrboenvy
Obviously, Carol should bill Tracy $23.03.5 for her time spent sending emails that were ignored, reading and responding to that email, and storing the $22 for months, and they can call it even!
Thanks
TracyTerryOct 2, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 0
#39 Mishee
Either something is seriously wrong with comments or I have been blocked from commenting because I rile everyone up or something… I've been having issues for like 2 days, I posted one about this one last night and it never showed… anyone else?
Oct 2, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#40 Katzndogz
Tracy’s initial e-mail is pretty PA since she pretends like she can’t remember whether Carol paid her or not. I can’t blame Carol for feeling pissy because she tried to settle up with Tracy on numerous occasions and never heard back from her, and was probably still steamed from her not paying a previous bill. But asking her to send a SASE? I probably would have sent the check along with a sarcastic note and washed my hands of her.
Oct 2, 2007 at 9:35 am rating: 0
#41 john
Things that I didn’t expect in the second email: NAMBLA.
Oct 2, 2007 at 9:39 am rating: 0
#42 hannah
Tracy’s a bitch.
Oct 2, 2007 at 10:15 am rating: 0
#43 Team Cassandra
Ok - here’s my 2 cents worth (yours, today, for only 5 cents!!!):
NAMBLA?!?!?! Couldn’t she just tell her to stick in her bum like a normal person!?!
How about a funny story about kids instead (the weird tabulation up there reminded me of this)?
Kids don’t always know how much they know (example: my daughter, at age 4):
Her: Mama, you should get a husband.
Me: O yeah? should I marry a King?
Her: NO! Kings don’t have any money…
Me: Ha! Ok, then, should I marry a lawyer?
Her: NO! A Lawyer only gots two cents…
Me: Double Ha! - what about a Doctor?
Her: A Doctor…hmm..maybe…a Doctor’s got a million dollars but he works ALL night!….Wait - I know! You need a Bank Man!
( I swear, I’m not as poor as she makes me sound - but I do like the way she thinks:)
Oct 2, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: 0
#44 Plain
Not only is Tracy kind of a b-word, she’s also pretty dumb. Insult the person after you get the money, idiot.
Oct 2, 2007 at 10:53 am rating: 0
#45 lauralaiwc
what a petty little snotrocket! i hope if they give her cash they blow their nose on it or put a virus on it or something. you know, to infect that saliva.
and #32…what a valid, important point!
Oct 2, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#46 Juliet
I think ‘nickel and diming’ is hilarious. You owe me 3 cents for the time it took me to write you this e-mail! I’ve never been able to put a price on my time, but I hope it’s worth more.
NAMBLA is a fucking delicious charity.
Oct 2, 2007 at 11:05 am rating: 0
#47 Katzndogz
The envelope glue was fucking delicious.
Unless your name is Susan.
Oct 2, 2007 at 11:15 am rating: 0
#48 Mishee
I wonder how much Carrie Lee charges for her saliva…
Just a random thought that passed through my head…
My other comment I made earlier this morning got eaten by the comment eating monster under the bed - so whatever!
Oct 2, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#49 mere
this entry is not nearly as entertaining as the comments. i guess that's true for most submissions, but this one .. not my favorite.
yeah team comments!
Oct 2, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#50 Adam
That Gina was fucking delicous. I mean Va-Gina of course, Bwa ha ha ha…
Oct 2, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#51 Anon
All I know is that somebody has to owe me money for reading Team Cassandra's "funny story about kids."
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:12 pm rating: 0
#52 Anon
Mishee - That comment was fucking delicious. -comment monster
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:21 pm rating: 0
#53 Anon
All I know is someone owes me money for reading Team Cassandra’s "funny story about kids."
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#54 Mishee
LOL Anon. I really don’t think we will ever get sick of the "fucking delicious" comments! They are just so fucking delicious!
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:31 pm rating: 0
#55 sea
someone should have charged for reading this bullshit.
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:49 pm rating: 0
#56 Mishee
Whoa, has anyone even LOOKED UP what NAMBLA is for? Wow! And I thought I had heard of everything!
Oct 2, 2007 at 12:58 pm rating: 0
#57 Black Bellamy
Everyone knows all about NAMBLA, Mishee. Most of us are charter members. But anyway….
I would like to be the first to point out that when you ask for a "pre-stamped" envelope you’re actually asking for an envelope without any stamp on it. Similarly, when asking for a "pre-addressed" envelope, you’re asking for an envelope in a state "pre"-ceeding that of one that has an address on it i.e. not addressed at all.
Just ask for a Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope like a regular person, please.
Oct 2, 2007 at 1:14 pm rating: 0
#58 Lara
Mishee, I hope you’re not looking that up at work!
I agree that the one holding funds should respond with "My current salary is $15/hr. It’s taken a total of 3 hours of my time to send texts and emails trying to find you, along with the time I took to read your emails and respond. So you owe me $21.97. I’ll send you a SASE."
Oct 2, 2007 at 1:37 pm rating: 0
#59 GhostWriter
I live for the moments when Mishee says things like, "Whoa, has anyone even looked up what NAMBLA is for?"
…but nothing beats the lawyerly argument of the meaning of "pre-adressed" and "pre-stamped" - although I don’t believe it would hold up in court. I’m crafting my pre-written statement as we speak.
Oct 2, 2007 at 2:30 pm rating: 0
#60 Spreggels
I think "fucking delicious" has jumped the fucking delicious shark.
Tracy sounds like bitch who’s not half as clever as she thinks she is. I’d send her a check and some anthrax.
Oct 2, 2007 at 2:39 pm rating: 0
#61 bobwong
Oh, Spreggels, so that was you!?!!
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:03 pm rating: 0
#62 Goopie
I don’t think Tracy is a bitch. Maybe that’s because I, too, am a bitch, but when I look at Carol’s e-mail, I think Tracy’s response is entirely natural. I’d tell Carol to shove a self-addressed, stamped envelope along with $22 into her own puerile little ass. On that thought, this is about the only justification I can think of for mentioning NAMBLA in this context. All that toxic waste is getting to the Garbage State residents’ heads.
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:09 pm rating: 0
#63 Mishee
Praytell GW, why do you live for those moments? Because in my own little way I am a little naive? Yea, well, being the youngest of alot of kids, they all sheltered me a bit… cause they love me! (Or they wanted me to leave them alone… one or the other…)
Oct 2, 2007 at 3:38 pm rating: 0
#64 Mishee
Spreggels, that shark was fucking delicious also!
Oct 2, 2007 at 4:02 pm rating: 0
#65 turrboenvy
#48, I don't think asking for a SASE was entirely unreasonable. From the first email (the reply to Tracy), there are more people involved here, so why should Carol have to pay for stamps and address enveloptes to mail them all their portion of the refund? I don't think asking for a SASE is any more unreasonable than expecting Carol to pay for all the postage herself.
However, I think what Carol should have done was sent Tracy 21.58, the $22 minus a stamp.
Oct 2, 2007 at 4:07 pm rating: 0
#66 WanderingPenguin
I agree, GW, with your comments about the lawyerly rebuttal. In my mind, "pre-addressed" is much more likely to mean "addressed beforehand" than "before it was addressed". In fact, I don’t think this even qualifies as "ambiguous" in most normal peoples’ minds.
I