Long-simmering roommate issues comes to a head in Toronto…
(Green ink is being kicked out by black ink.)
![If you come into my room one more time or touch my shit I will call the landlord/tennant [sic] board on you.](http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1151/1487142380_b95be7e66d.jpg "If you come into my room one more time or touch my shit I will call the landlord/tennant [sic] board on you.")
related: I can’t stand this shit anymore.
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FILED UNDER: drugs · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · smiley · spelling and grammar police · toronto · touching
"customer service" "helpful" advice a little patronizing actually totally reasonable all-staff e-mail anthropomorphism austin australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach boston brooklyn california canada CAPS LOCK cleaning clip art catastrophe confusion??? crazypants d.c. dishes dogs e-mail ellipses-crazed etiquette ex drama excessive underlining exclamation-point happy! facebook family florida food frenemies garbage group bitchfest guilt trip heart highlighter holiday spirit hygiene illinois irregular capitalization jesus kids kitchen london los angeles martyr complex massachusetts mean girls meta michigan microwave moms & dads money more aggressive than passive music neighbors new york noise north carolina not-so-veiled threats now that's management odor office office fridge oh no you didn't oh snap old folks p.s. parking piss pleasantries as afterthought questionable logic raging against the machine rebuttals restaurant retail hell rhetorical question roommates saga san francisco sarcasm seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smiley spelling and grammar police stealing texas thanks (but not really) that shit is disgusting TLDR toilet touching u.k. university unnecessary "quotation marks" unsolicited feedback virginia visual aids whiteboard wtf? you call that punctuation?
87 responses so far ↓
#1
Andy
Wow. If you spin your head around to read everything, it’s a real trip.
I wonder if they took pictures with the camera from work?
Oct 4, 2007 at 9:53 pm rating: +3
#2
GVI
“I didn’t touch your shit”, apparently he does not know of the poop bandit.
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:01 pm rating: +4
#3
Wade
OMG! I can’t stop laughing.
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:17 pm rating: +1
#4
anna-banana
“Have a nice move”…must’ve meant bowel movement.
And after they “move”, call Anytime Stan. He’ll clean it up!
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:17 pm rating: +3
#5
anna-banana
The landlord/”tennant” board was fucking delicious
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:18 pm rating: 0
#6
morpho aurora
the smiley faces and “have a nice move” are wonderful – but risky, since green ink already sounds a little agitated. better hope green doesn’t miss a dose of his/her meds.
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:18 pm rating: 0
#7
Wade
Maybe “Anytime Stan” can drive over and mediate.
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:19 pm rating: +1
#8
Wade
Team Candle Sconce.
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:23 pm rating: 0
#9
johnO
I love this one! The repeated rebuttals speak to both the roommates craziness. Hard to pick a side without a little more info. But that ’shit’ was fucking delish! Tee!
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:33 pm rating: 0
#10
Joe
Team i-didn’t-have-a-sheet-of-paper-so-i’ll-use-a-folder-instead !
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: +1
#11
lola
I love the fingertip in the picture, as if it’s subconsciously emphasizing “them” in: “I would hate to see them get intentionally damaged.”
Like it’s a threat. A Freudian threat.
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:47 pm rating: +1
#12
ahmeen
Now, it isn’t totally clear…but I think that smiley face dude, wants green-ink dude to move out. Did anyone else catch that?
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#13
Wade
Looks like Green ink’s note was the last straw. Black ink definitely had a total rage dump.
“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to ME!?!”
Oct 4, 2007 at 10:57 pm rating: 0
#14
anna-banana
The “black ink” just goes on & on…uh, kinda like me.
Lisa, perhaps?
Oct 4, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: +1
#15
lola
All it needs is a penis doodle and a web reference and my night will be complete…
Oct 4, 2007 at 11:15 pm rating: +1
#16
Wade
BTW – You have no case (Findlaw.com) lol
Oct 4, 2007 at 11:36 pm rating: 0
#17
WanderingPenguin
I love the run-ons: the “BTW”, the “P.S” and especially the “Oh Yah:”. I mean, come ON, black ink, give green ink a chance to rebut for cripes sake.
Also, I especially want to see what’s inside that folder. I do hope it’s some of black ink’s “art”, which, if we can judge from the quality of the smiley faces, must be some great “shit”.
I would just like to add that I live in Toronto and know a great many artists and not one of them would ever tell someone that “smoking drugs makes you stupid”. That would be as kettle/black as it gets.
Hmm. “Swag” lamp: does that mean it was a giveaway from a radio station?
Oct 4, 2007 at 11:57 pm rating: +1
#18
WanderingPenguin
P.S. going into someone else’s room that they have paid to rent is wrong no matter what law covers it.
BTW, I didn’t need to look that up, I just knew it.
Oh yah, have a nice fire sale after green ink torches your place. Thanks.
Oct 4, 2007 at 11:59 pm rating: +2
#19
Wry Exchange
Black Ink’s ART is probably really scary.
Oct 5, 2007 at 12:00 am rating: 0
#20
WanderingPenguin
Well, the punctuation made it seem like his “ART” consists of a candle sconce, a shag lamp and a mirror. Maybe “ART” is an acronym in some other language for those three things. Or maybe it’s some crappy sculpture.
But yeah, bet it’s pretty scary.
Oct 5, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: +1
#21
T-Bone
Ah, God. I wish these roommates would say “bygones”, join their hands in a poignant show of solidarity, then step off the nearest bridge. Together.
Oct 5, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 0
#22
ian
See? Canadians can be nasty to each other too.
Oct 5, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: 0
#23
DonkeyCock
I didn’t know Canadians were called “oommate”
Team put secret camera in room to watch “oommate” rummage through panty drawer…
Oct 5, 2007 at 1:23 am rating: 0
#24
TAJ
Oh noes, not the landlord/”tennant” board!
Team oommate issues!
Oct 5, 2007 at 1:50 am rating: 0
#25
heisa
oh yah, for the record, that oommate was fucking delicious!
Oct 5, 2007 at 8:19 am rating: 0
#26
claw71
I have to side with the paranoid roomie. People who use smiley faces are dangerous freaks.
Oct 5, 2007 at 9:00 am rating: +1
#27
zhokuai
your shit was fucking delicious….
wait… it doesn’t work on this one!
Oct 5, 2007 at 9:38 am rating: 0
#28
Katzndogz
Apparently the one roommate had decorated the other’s room with a painting, lamp, candle sconce and mirror. I’m betting they were friends at one time and it recently went sour. One friend is moving out and the other friend wants to make sure her decorations aren’t damaged or taken during the moving out process.
Oct 5, 2007 at 9:55 am rating: 0
#29
mere
it appears that black ink means BUSINESS!
and when green ink says ‘touch my shit’, does that mean ‘hot pockets’?
mmmmm
hot pockets.
Oct 5, 2007 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#30
Mr. Humpjeans
My response to green ink would have been to draw an arrow to the period after “shit”, and write, “I think this would work better with a comma right here.” Then add a smiley.
Oct 5, 2007 at 10:29 am rating: +1
#31
Fraulein N
I love that Black Ink comes off like he’s responding — at various intervals — to several notes Green Ink has left but “oh yah,” really it’s just one long-ass spirally note.
Oct 5, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 0
#32
Idigmusic
“why don’t you smoke some more dugs”?!? LOL! Obviously black inks art consists of puppies & bunnies frolicking in a meadow on a spring day….until the evil, stupid drug smoking monster came along. I’m sure black ink took the art to make sure there was no drug residue left on it after all that drug smoking!
Gotta say Team Green- go smoke some more dugs!!
Oct 5, 2007 at 10:58 am rating: +1
#33
Adam
Team threatening police action…
These guys should jump in the ring and go twelve rounds, I have my money on the kid with the candle sconce.
Oct 5, 2007 at 11:03 am rating: 0
#34
Juliet
I hope green ink drew a penis on that folder after the photo was taken.
Sounds like black ink has some things to get off his/her chest ( It looks like a guy’s writing) and waited and waited and got more and more self-righteous until he exploded.
Team smoke drugs/move out.
I’ve lived with paranoid spazzes like black ink. why does he covet his swag lamp so? And why is he so worried about damage to his stuff when there isn’t much to damage? He ain’t cool.
Oct 5, 2007 at 11:07 am rating: 0
#35
robins
dear family, fuck off. kthx. leave me the fuck alone.
it should read like that
Oct 5, 2007 at 12:55 pm rating: 0
#36
Wade
Maybe black ink was worried about stray hookah coals.
Oct 5, 2007 at 1:17 pm rating: 0
#37
GhostWriter
I just want to point out that the centerfold in the latest Penthouse features a candle sconce, a swag lamp, and a mirror…
…and Black Ink’s mom.
Oct 5, 2007 at 1:53 pm rating: 0
#38
Sylvia
Hoo boy that brings back memories. *shudder*
Oct 5, 2007 at 2:03 pm rating: 0
#39
lucy
things are getting less passive-aggressive, and more aggressive-aggressive.
Oct 5, 2007 at 2:13 pm rating: 0
#40
WanderingPenguin
Wait a second…. how can they be “roommates” (or even “oommates”) if they don’t share a ROOM (or OOM)? I know we all commonly use roommate on this site to mean living together in the same house but “roommate tenancy” (referred to by Black Ink) is a whole ‘nother thing.
And if green ink is renting a room from black ink, then yeah, the Landlord/”Tennant” Act would cover that here in Ontario, although they’re pretty vague about whether landlords can come in if they think property is being damaged.
And if they DO or DID share a room, then….I’m just completely flummoxed. I’m starting to think this is a relationship gone sour after all.
Oct 5, 2007 at 2:30 pm rating: 0
#41
Canthz_B
Note says “…come into my room one more time or touch my shit…”
Is Black Ink a burglar and a toilet bandit?
Oct 5, 2007 at 3:27 pm rating: 0
#42
Canthz_B
Is Black Ink a burglar and a toilet bandit?
Oct 5, 2007 at 3:30 pm rating: 0
#43
Emma
WanderingPenguin: definitely did not share a room. Greek ink rented from black ink.
Also, Black ink used to live in Green ink’s room until she moved into another room in the house – that’s why some of her stuff is still in Green Ink’s room as well, to others who were wondering.
Oct 5, 2007 at 3:31 pm rating: 0
#44
Canthz_B
??? Is 10% of posts excessive???
Oct 5, 2007 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
#45
Mayachees
I agree with claw.
Black ink seems like a true passive aggressive nutjob. Why not just ask for the stuff back?
Team Don’t Invade My Privacy
Oct 5, 2007 at 4:36 pm rating: 0
#46
Mel
Battle of the roomies! On a manila folder no less!
AWESOME!!!
Oct 5, 2007 at 5:22 pm rating: 0
#47
GhostWriter
I just had a flashback to the time when my Dad kicked me out- he was so into his stupid swag lamps…
Oct 5, 2007 at 5:36 pm rating: 0
#48
robins
dear ghostwriter, make your portable genitals fall off. kthx
Oct 5, 2007 at 6:21 pm rating: 0
#49
WanderingPenguin
Thank you, Emma. Or should I call you…. “Red Ink”???
Oct 5, 2007 at 11:30 pm rating: 0
#50
Emma
Haha yes, I’m the illusive “Red Ink”
Oct 6, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: 0
#51
BoggyWoggy
One of the best in months…
Threats,
Insults,
Nothing Passive…ALL aggression in writing!
Team FINALLY!
Oct 6, 2007 at 12:51 pm rating: 0
#52
kevin
I love it!
It’s also a good reminder of why I prefer living alone.
kp
Oct 6, 2007 at 1:03 pm rating: 0
#53
Life With Buck
“and for the record, I’ve taken pictures!
GOD I’d love to see those.
Oct 6, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#54
dawn
Love the smiley faces. Love them. And the “thanks”. Black ink can be my roomie any day – especially if s/he brings the swag lamp.
Oct 6, 2007 at 6:08 pm rating: 0
#55
stellarcellar
I could have sworn I’ve lived with this person!! In Toronto!! Is her name Kay? I mean how many slob -ish weirdo’s can there be??
Oct 6, 2007 at 10:54 pm rating: 0
#56
Canthz_B
Don’t steal my swag lamp, M’Kay?
Oct 7, 2007 at 1:19 am rating: 0
#57
Canthz_B
Oh, Canada!
Oct 7, 2007 at 1:21 am rating: 0
#58
Team Cassandra
Roomie moving can be stressful…once, after a guy left my house
- he didn’t live there long: he’d, totally, bluffed me with references and everything, then showed up when he moved *in* at 10am piss drunk (I have a million roommate stories, I tell ya) –
anyhow, in the end he stole my CDs, had drank all my booze, ate and stole my food and he even drank the rum EXTRACT from my baking supplies…
And he was ALWAYS tryna make me look like the bad guy as I tried to protect us all during his move – it was a nightmare!
But that was in Vancouver.
Oct 7, 2007 at 10:53 am rating: 0
#59
Team Cassandra
Cool Canadian Tips for this thread:
#1, #10 Reduce, reuse, recycle – that’s the Canadian way.
#16 We like to drag the authorities into things when we can.
#17 Can I plead the fifth in Canada?
#22 But its a funny, wordy nastiness, yes?
#56 There are many, many slob-ish weirdos in Canada. Many live in Toronto.
and again –
Happy Thanksgiving!
Oct 7, 2007 at 11:11 am rating: 0
#60
Jazz
Notes like this are fantastic motivation for me to keep working at my well-paying job, so I don’t have to worry about roommates.
Oct 7, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#61
WanderingPenguin
re #59 – LMAO @ “but that was in Vancouver”. That just tickled my funnybone. I have long suspected that Vancouver isn’t ACTUALLY part of Canada, but I thought I was alone in that feeling!
Even if they are, they bear no resemblance to Toronto.
Oct 7, 2007 at 12:05 pm rating: 0
#62
Team Cassandra
Ha – I always thought it bore little resemblance to anything Canadian really…Its all Starbucks and Safeways. I like to think of small/medium family-owned shopping as the Canadian way, but that could just be me.
Its pretty tho:)
Oct 7, 2007 at 12:48 pm rating: 0
#63
VK1
Vancouver’s former name was North Seattle. =)
Oct 7, 2007 at 12:59 pm rating: 0
#64
WanderingPenguin
The thinking here is that was a subtle joke by VK1, because I can find no mention of that anywhere online whatsoever. Anyone else?
Oct 7, 2007 at 3:45 pm rating: 0
#65
Zsa
WP~you have to have lived in Seattle or Vancouer to appreciate it- apparently.
You drive north from Seattle thru 160 miles of suburbs that look exactly like Seattle or like rural white trash. You cross the border and see 60 miles of suburbs that look like rural white trash or just like Seattle. Its kinda creepy.
Oct 7, 2007 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
#66
WanderingPenguin
Oh wow – that IS kind of creepy. Thanks for the explanation!
You can do that over here, too, near Buffalo.
Oct 7, 2007 at 6:44 pm rating: 0
#67
Canthz_B
Canada as a whole is kind of creepy!:-)
Oct 7, 2007 at 8:11 pm rating: 0
#68
Canthz_B
I mean, who would actually research a joke?
Rhetorical…don’t look up the answer!
Oct 7, 2007 at 8:14 pm rating: +1
#69
WanderingPenguin
Well, at least Mr. Smart-Ass is on the right website to make such P/A comments in every damn post. So I guess there’s that going for him. Not sure where the constant ever-so-slightly antagonistic mentioning of Canada is coming from, but oh well: there’s one in every crowd. And after all, you can’t spell Pennsylvania’s postal abbreviation without a “P” and an “A”.
Whatever, plus ça change plus c’est la même chose, I guess. With any luck, there’ll be a new post next time I check in.
And now the tryptophan is kicking in….’night, all.
Oct 7, 2007 at 11:10 pm rating: 0
#70
GhostWriter
I make a motion that this site shut down over the weekend. Many commenters only venture here during work hours, and often things happen here over the weekend that are overcome by events come Monday morning. Funny things; like, “dear ghostwriter, make your portable genitals fall off. kthx
I finally get a playmate, but now it’s Monday and the comment is too old and not worth the effort.
Well, maybe robins will stick around…
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#71
Team Cassandra
GW – Personally, I think *that* comment is still SO worth the effort!…Play! Play! I want to see!
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:12 pm rating: 0
#72
WanderingPenguin
I vote with TC. Can we carry that onto a new thread??!
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:27 pm rating: 0
#73
claw71
Canada is a scary place. Maybe we’re protecting the wrong border.
Mexico’s done so much for us. Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Antonio Banderas if you swing that way. Then you have all of those delightful Mexican Restaurants . Because of Mexican I can get my three acre yard cut for six dollars! Yeah, I found a few hundred pot plants in my flower bed but that’s a fair trade off.
What’s Canada ever done? Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado? Thanks a milli0n you maple leaf smoking freaks. And what about Canadian food? Do you people put maple syrup on everything? About the only decent morsel of grub you have is Canadian bacon but most of us down in the States have figured out that it’s just ham. You no good cheating bastards. And would it kill you to put sausage links on a frigging griddle? Stop boiling everything. Eh.
I’m just kidding. I love Canada. It’s like one of those special schools for the kids who rode the short bus.
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
#74
Banshee
Claw–Canada gave us David Cronenberg. And he’s worth twenty Salma Hayeks. [NB: Cruz and Banderas is not from Mexico, you dumb Midwestern hick.]
I think in a fight between green ink and black ink, I’d put my money on green ink. Black ink is like a little chihuahua yapping at the feet of a mastiff.
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: 0
#75
WanderingPenguin
claw: I have never boiled a sausage in my life. You may be thinking of England, or perhaps you met some weirdos from the Maritimes.
And you’re welcome for Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams… AND Celine Dion. All we ask is that you do NOT send them back. Yikes.
BTW, maple syrup goes especially well with beer.
And Banshee? David Cronenberg is a creative genius… but if you’d ever seen him naked you would never say he was worth 20 Hayeks. Unless you meant 20 of them all put together, making one giant, 2,000-pound woman. Even then, it would be close. But I was wondering… in the interests of economizing….aren’t “dumb”, “Midwestern” and “hick” kind of redundant there?
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: 0
#76
Emma
Hah, WanderingPenguin, I’m originally from NS and I’ve never heard of a boiled sausage in my life. Maybe we’re talking reaaaal “hicks” here? Capers?
Oct 9, 2007 at 9:30 am rating: 0
#77
Kelly
Team green ink all the way. I’m sure the police will really care if your mirror or sconce gets damaged by your roommate.
Oct 9, 2007 at 9:36 am rating: 0
#78
claw71
In Canada a damaged sconce is serious business. At least thats the impression I had after watching an episode of “Moosejaw Five-0″
Oct 9, 2007 at 11:20 am rating: 0
#79
dawn
claw71: “What’s Canada ever done? Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado? ”
Helllooo? Pam Anderson.
Oct 9, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#80
WanderingPenguin
Hee hee – sorry, Emma. It’s the closest part of Canada to England, so I went out on a limb.
Re: damaged sconce, well of course it is! If you’ve ever tried to function with a damaged sconce, well….
And I think the show is “Moosejaw Ten-3″. No, I’m not explaining that; bet you can work it out.
Oct 9, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: 0
#81
team drug smoker
blank ink needs to smoke more drugs
Oct 11, 2007 at 3:05 pm rating: 0
#82
sunlotus
i’m not an expert in canadian oomate law or anything but i am pretty sure that marker scrawled on a manilla folder taped to a door does not constitute any kind of official “record”
yah?
Oct 12, 2007 at 3:08 am rating: 0
#83
Dirty Jack
Oh man that handwriting and content is strikingly similar to my old housemates, and he left lots of awsm notes.
I wish I still had them now D:
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:38 pm rating: 0
#84
Jay
some people clearly have problems. My roommate used to hide food in her room and then block the door with it so I couldn’t get in her room. Not that I ever needed to go in there for any purpose whatsoever… people.. i swear.
Oct 17, 2007 at 5:38 pm rating: 0
#85 an official declaration of the silent treatment
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Jul 1, 2008 at 9:06 pm rating: 0
#86
bobby
If you come into my room one more time or touch my shit. End of thought.
Jul 18, 2008 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
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