no, you can’t — at least not at erin’s office in indianapolis. explains erin, “my co-worker got tired of people, separating pages on the printer by licking their fingers so she helpfully taped this box of sortkwik to it.”
meanwhile, alvaro’s office in madrid is having licking issues of its own with the office coffee machine. (translation: “please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)
and the funky behavior doesn’t stop there…
p.s. before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug. kthx!
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
98 responses so far ↓
#1 anna-banana
Licking is cool.
Uh….what’s the spoon on the Madrid pay phone for?
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:23 am rating: +1
#2 anna-banana
Never mind. I see it’s an automatic coffee machine. The spoons would mix-up whatever slog the machine spits out.
But still. A hanging collective-use spoon is gross.
But then again….maybe if you call Anytime Stan, then he’d arrange to clean it?
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#3 lola
Umm… where exactly is all this licking taking place and can I get directions?
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 0
#4 Sea Hag
I never realized that licking was such a rampant problem worldwide.
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:49 am rating: 0
#5 carol
I like the communal spoon.. All day you can fantsize about other potential spoon user….
how did they stir it.. Did they stir or only lick…
Almost as exciting as communal forking..
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:49 am rating: 0
#6 WanderingPenguin
Wow - I had no idea there was a licking epidemic. That’s too funny! I think my fave is the “Do Not Lick Pressurized Lumber”. Is this a common problem? And the sign hanging above the outlet - is that saying not to lick the outlet….or the SIGN? It’s a bit unclear.
And because it HAD to be said: those honey-covered windows were fucking delicious.
But lola has what will likely turn out to be the best comment of this thread. Seriously.
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:52 am rating: 0
#7 Debb
That pressurized lumber was fucking delicious!
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:11 am rating: 0
#8 Amber
WTF is up with the fence?
Maybe what the Heisa Monster actually does, instead of eat children, is go around licking windows! Thanks, Terry!
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:21 am rating: 0
#9 LC
I used to work in a document-intensive situation and I feel that I must let you know that Sortkwik doesn’t work for shit…
Team Spittle!
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:59 am rating: 0
#10 Pressurized Lumber
Mystified, I came across
http://www.origen.net/ccawood.html
where I read:
CCA pressure-treated wood contains arsenic which can be released from the wood in several ways:
* When the wood burned
* Mechanical abrasion
* Direct contact
* When acid contacts the treated lumber.
I guess we have a fifth arsenic release vector!
Oct 8, 2007 at 2:06 am rating: 0
#11 phil
I wasn’t aware of how much “Do not Lick” signs are out there. Maybe they are omnipresent, but we just don’t percieve them
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:06 am rating: 0
#12 tweedle
Do NOT lick,
use sortkwik.
Lick the fence
of our residence
at your expense!
Electric lick
of this outlet:
zap you twit.
Tongue on pane wins our disdain; don’t begin, you.
Treated lumber on yr lingual– make you tingle.
Woe betide yoon
what salivates on the Spoon.
Slobber?
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:29 am rating: 0
#13 Pressurized Lumber
Tweedle, you need a little spittle?
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:40 am rating: 0
#14 tweedle
Well, they say it *is* an arsenic release vector.
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:46 am rating: 0
#15 Licking a Power Outlet = Bad Idea. Honest. - Needcoffee.com
[...] More things you aren't allowed to lick here. Taggification: psa [...]
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:57 am rating: 0
#16 jen
The window sign would be really clever on an ice cream shop.
Oct 8, 2007 at 4:06 am rating: 0
#17 hardcle
Isn’t communal use of sortkwik just as unsanitary? I know I don’t like it when other people use mine.
Oct 8, 2007 at 5:40 am rating: 0
#18 Michelle
Honestly…WHO IS LICKING THESE THINGS??
It’s a bit weird. These notes are more strange than passive-aggressive. And very sad if actually necessary.
Team Keep your tongue off my sh*t.
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:05 am rating: 0
#19 Pressurized Lumber
Michelle, I know it. Given that things you shouldn’t lick vastly outnumber things you should, you’d think it’d make more sense to have “Please lick” signs on things you want people licking. And then people could simply endeavour to keep their tounges off the unsigned stuff.
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:38 am rating: 0
#20 can i lick it? « Tom Steel
[...] More at: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com [...]
Oct 8, 2007 at 7:06 am rating: 0
#21 heisa
clearly these note writers do not participate in the This is Good for Licking pool.
that pressurized lumber is good for licking!
Oct 8, 2007 at 8:37 am rating: 0
#22 pry
licking your finger to separate paper is disgusting. i remember being handed a worksheet in class with a big circle of saliva in the corner. uggggh!
Oct 8, 2007 at 9:04 am rating: +1
#23 Wade
“sticky finger”?
yeesh. kwiksort was not the first thing i thought of when i read the note.
Oct 8, 2007 at 9:47 am rating: 0
#24 anglophile
I guess maybe the fence is painted with lead paint? I’m not sure the posted notice will help the “homeowners” much when the parents of the twenty lead-poisoned neighborhood children take ‘em to court to sue for damages. Actually, it kinda works in reverse. Never before today have I had an urge to lick a fence. Now I’m feeling a bit of a compulsion.
Oh, and you couldn’t pay me to use a communal-use spoon on a string next to a coffee machine. Anyone who would is stirring at their own risk. Blech.
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#25 Funny, but ewwww! » A few words from Rob Mansfield
[...] is a classic from passiveaggressivenotes.com - it’s a very funny group of pictures, but they almost made my stomach turn a little. Imagine [...]
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#26 Adam Amato
Team, I need to lick everything under the sun cause its Fucking Delicious…
I like the lickers, it keeps the general population on its toes. Out of contempt of these haters I’m on a quest now to lick fucking everything.
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#27 the sos
charles has a licking problem
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:14 am rating: 0
#28 Zsa
Ahhh…treated lumber. Not only the arsenic factor but you also get tiny little splinters all over.
Team Lick It… lick it good!
Aw crap. Now I have that song in my head. This is gonna be bad for my meeting today.
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:28 am rating: 0
#29 will4you
Im a bartender and waiter and have seen some truly disgusting things. I worked with a young man who would lick peoples silverware if they requested new sets because they had water spots on them.
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: 0
#30 T-Bone
Photo #3: Could someone forward his phone number to me please? Thanks.
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:25 am rating: 0
#31 WanderingPenguin
Well, sure - how else do you get the water spots off? The dishwasher is obviously not working out.
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:26 am rating: 0
#32 WanderingPenguin
BTW, the window licker is in Australia in case lola and T-bone wanna track him down. Not sure if he’s a tourist, though, so that might not help.
Now I want to see the rest of the picture they cut off!
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:33 am rating: 0
#33 lola
but were they licking lumber down under?
I try to refrain from licking windows, especially after that unfortunate short bus incident…
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: 0
#34 WanderingPenguin
Not just lumber, lola, “pressurized” lumber. So at least they were doing something right.
Hang in there - maybe they are just bi-curious.
Oct 8, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#35 ALA
Did anyone else notice that they have such a problem with window-licking, the nice folks in Hervey Bay have created the Hervey Bay Window Police? (In parens under the main no0licking notice) Perhaps they investigate all window shennanigans. Or is it just the licking? Inquiring minds…
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:52 pm rating: 0
#36 ALA
oops…no-licking notice, my apologies.
Oct 8, 2007 at 12:54 pm rating: 0
#37 GhostWriter
I used to work in Chicago, at a convenience store. I used to work in Chicago; I did, but I don’t anymore.
A lady walked in with some porcelain skin and I asked her what she came in for. “Liquor,” she said, and lick her I did, and now I don’t work there no more.
I know, it’s swiped, but tangentially appropriate, no?
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:11 pm rating: 0
#38 claw71
I’ve always hated people who lick their fingers before handling paper. They do with with books, newspapers and even money. Often it is out of habit rather than necessity. Personally, I find a little glob of earwax to be sufficient. It’s actually similar to “sticky finger” compound in the first photo.
I wouldn’t be inclined to lick a fence or a window but if somebody put a sign up instructing me not to I think I might do it as an act of rebellion. Just as I make a point to pull into driveways that are marked with signs informing me that I am not to turn around there. Sue me.
A-licky boom boom down.
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#39 claw71
Speaking of pressurized lumber, all this talk of licking…
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:17 pm rating: 0
#40 Juliet
I’m hard pressed to imagine any scenario of licking the fence in that last photo. Ewwww. Who would lick the ratty fence of someone who appears to live by the ocean? And how could it become so problematic that a sign was needed?
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:18 pm rating: 0
#41 GhostWriter
what should be added:
Please use this sticky finger & not saliva…
…to remove lettuce from teeth.
…to improve your grip on the shaft.
…when attempting to embalm insects.
…to make cotton candy last longer.
Any more?
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#42 Wade
upon closer inspection, it looks like the right side of the fence is freshly painted. Apparently the “wet paint” sign wasn’t getting the job done.
So, does licking the lumber “de-pressurize” it and make it less…useful?
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#43 TAJ
But what would Jesus lick???
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#44 Wade
Wait a minute. Why would you need a spoon at an automated coffee machine? Isn’t the whole point that, as it dispenses, it mixes everything together?
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:38 pm rating: 0
#45 GhostWriter
claw71 is onto something. The whiteboard is probably located in an all-girls prep school, being used to promote important take-aways from Headmaster MacSweeney’s annual birds-&-bees speech. You know how he loves euphemistic metaphors…
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#46 Wade
#37 rofl!!
claw, you never cease to amaze.
Cogent argumentation and a Snow reference all in one post.
kudos!
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:50 pm rating: 0
#47 Jesus Christ
If you die from licking an outlet, you automatically get a pass to the party in the sky. I’ll get back to you on the others. Pressurized lumber can be tricky.
After all, it would be cruel to send anyone that mentally vacant to that “other place.” Can I get an Amen?
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:54 pm rating: 0
#48 WanderingPenguin
Except you can probably lick Snow. At least according to Snow.
Oct 8, 2007 at 1:55 pm rating: 0
#49 Fraulein N
Yeah, that song was called “Informer” but I don’t feel like I walked away from it with a whole lot of information.
My favorite is the one about “pressurized lumber.” So … it’s okay to lick un-pressurized lumber, then? How about just trees? Can we lick trees?
Oct 8, 2007 at 2:40 pm rating: 0
#50 dee
its fun to lick the right things,like skin on females!
Oct 8, 2007 at 3:04 pm rating: 0
#51 maisnon
Omigod - Tribe Called Quest reference! The awesome!
Oct 8, 2007 at 4:15 pm rating: 0
#52 ian
Please refrain from licking our windows?
That could be a joke, you know.
In French, to go window shopping translates as:
faire de la lèche-vitrine: to go licking windows.
Oct 8, 2007 at 4:19 pm rating: 0
#53 WanderingPenguin
Yes, I am pretty sure that one’s a joke - it’s on a cafe or restaurant or bakery or something in Australia. Excellent French cross-reference, though: I had never heard that phrase!
Oct 8, 2007 at 4:42 pm rating: 0
#54 claw71
If you lick it…
…she will come.
Sorry, it had to be done. Forgive me GW.
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#55 K
Licking a communal spoon? Gross.
Licking your finger to separate some pages? Not gross. And you people that think it is? It’s called OCD; you might want to look into it.
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:33 pm rating: 0
#56 Heather
But outlets are so tasty. Add a little guacamole, and you’ve got a meal that’ll stick with you for days.
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:41 pm rating: 0
#57 Sixty-Nine Fourever
” you gotta lick it before we kick it………you gotta lick it before you stick it ”
HMMMM….maybe these people heard these hidden song lyrics, as I have ?????
Or maybe we all are just practicing to make perfect ?????? :}
Oct 8, 2007 at 6:55 pm rating: 0
#58 GVI
M_A didn’t you lick it and stick it the other day?
Oct 8, 2007 at 8:07 pm rating: 0
#59 Kite
I just recently bought soap at a farmers market in town. It has cinnamon, clover and oatmeal. And I have to admit that it smelled so good this morning in the shower that I HAD to lick it.
Licking has it’s ups and downs.
Oct 8, 2007 at 8:36 pm rating: 0
#60 GVI
I have licked those fruity smelling markers and they do taste like they smell.
Oct 8, 2007 at 8:47 pm rating: 0
#61 morpho aurora
#59 gvi - but it wasn’t in public! or communal
The combination of “can i lick it?” and sticky fingers made me start the day with a smile.
and thanks to zsa, i’ve had that stupid song stuck in my head all day.
Oct 8, 2007 at 9:38 pm rating: 0
#62 Team Cassandra
I can’t help but think an equally useful sign could read:
Go ahead. Lick it.
Oct 8, 2007 at 10:37 pm