this delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban orange county, california. “there is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains amy, a grad student. “up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘please close door.’ i have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”
adds amy: “how does one burn a microwave, anyway? maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”
185 responses so far ↓
#1
Al Hanso
The rats, possoms, birds, lizzards, rabbits, vagrants, thieves and local skateboarders were fucking delicious.
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:46 am rating: +2
#2
Mishee
Rats, possoms, birds, lizards, and rabbits… Oh MY!
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:03 am rating: 0
#3
PD7
aluminum foil, staples, paper clips, etc… will all burn a microwave
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:07 am rating: 0
#4
heisa
ooooo, reverse psychology.
though it does make me happy that the note was not 1) handwritten nor 2) created with ALL CAPS TIMES NEW ROMAN.
Team Arial.
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:07 am rating: 0
#5
Susan
Loved it!! This HAS to be one of the better notes! I especially enjoyed the “additional tuition fees” comment.
Extra points for writing style – while reading it, you can “hear” the smart-ass exasperation.
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:10 am rating: 0
#6
dawn
A private and, one assumes, expensive college, and they can’t even spell “‘possum” correctly? Definitely “no one’s getting smarter” here.
Team Let the Thieves and Skateboarders Come Out and Play!
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 0
#7
dawn
And because I have too much time on my hands this morning and, thanks to this post title, I now have a great song stuck in my head:
By the time you hear the ‘plosion,
It’s already too late
One crawls on all fours and the other has a tail
One guy’s wasted and the other’s makin’ haste
It goes down the same as the thousand before
No one’s getting smarter
No one’s closing the door
The never-ending spree of meth and thievery and skate
I’m at the end of my rope
End of my rope
End of my –
Hey! Man, you disrespecting me?
Keep ‘em out!
You gotta keep’em separated
Hey! Man, you talkin’ back to me?
Keep ‘em out!
You gotta keep’em separated
Hey, don’t pay no mind
If tuition goes up, I don’t want to hear you whine
Hey, [don't] come out and play!
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:32 am rating: +2
#8
T-Bone
How to burn stuff in microwave:
Take a bagel. Put it in the microwave for what you think is 10 seconds, but is actually 10 minutes. Hit start. Call a friend. Forget about bagel in microwave. Smell horrible burning odor. Remember bagel in microwave. Run into kitchen and see black smoke seeping out of microwave vents. Hang up on friend. Fearfully open microwave door. See sizzling little carbon rock, formerly bagel, on microwave tray. Consider possibility of making diamonds from bagels in kitchen.
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:41 am rating: +2
#9
the dawd
This one time at band camp i tried to microwave two grapes and one pickle. Ooohh sparkly.
Down with team reverse psychology!
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:46 am rating: 0
#10
H
team “thank you for your assistance”
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#11
Wade
#6
dawn – and let’s not forget liZZard, lol
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#12
Jacinda
those possums were fucking delicious.
esp. when i burned them in the microwave while riding my skateboard!
i love the thinly veiled threat of higher tuition at the bottom.
classic.
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:58 am rating: 0
#13
Wade
I used to work at a private college. The tuition fees will go up whether the microwave is burned or not.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:06 am rating: 0
#14
HappyNat
I think they should spend the tuition dollars on getting rid of the the apparnetly rampent wildlife before they spend in on microwaves.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:21 am rating: +2
#15
Kate
Dawn #7, you rock!
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:25 am rating: 0
#16
Sharona
I know possums and rats will raid trash cans, but really, are rabbits wandering the halls? Hopping out of the path of the oncoming skaters? If so, why is that a problem? It sounds adorable.
13 Wade, you have the right of it, I think.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:29 am rating: 0
#17
todd
of course! as opposed to FOREIGN skateboarders.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 0
#18
Wade
Next on “The O.C”
After being suspended from Brown University, Summer enrolls in a private college at home, and continues her animal activism by propping the door open and letting the wildlife reclaim their habitat.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:38 am rating: +1
#19
Mitsu
What I don’t get, is how these private college people don’t know how to spell possum and lizard. Rabbits are cute, they should be allowed in, though.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:39 am rating: 0
#20
WanderingPenguin
I agree with Mitsu: if you are attending a private college where they apparently do not teach English, perhaps you should be reviewing exactly why you are attending in the first place.
I was wondering if “Added Tuition Fees Should Cover It” is an acronym I am not familiar with, due to the capitalizing of the first letters? ATFSCI…. hmm, no, but it might become the new “NAMBLA”.
Team ATFSCI FTW!
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#21
Nattie
I like the carefully considered formatting, nice use of bold and underlined. 8/10, must work on spelling.
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#22
Vagrant, Thief and Skateboarder
I don’t like to burn up your microwave ovens, but I just can’t help myself!
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:57 am rating: 0
#23
WanderingPenguin
BTW, aren’t “Vagrants” “Thieves” and “Skateboarders” all the same thing?
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#24
Juliet
Nice one Mishee! I also agree with Susan. You can just hear the exasperation.
I am still trying to work out what happened with the microwave ovens. Were skateboarders, vagrants and thieves heating up their lunches in them? Were they being stolen?
I guess the wilds of suburbia Orange County are wild!
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#25
WanderingPenguin
I have an even better question: where on earth is that door leading to? Why are there microwave ovens back there but you are (apparently) not allowed to have a mug of coffee in there? Doesn’t that partial sign look like a cup ‘n’ saucer with a line through it? Weird….
Maybe if they put a sign with various forms of wildlife and skateboarders, etc. with a line through it… it would solve the problem?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: +1
#26
Mr DeBakey
Nothings wrecks a microwave faster
than trying to cook up
a couple of possums & a rabbit at the same time
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:07 am rating: +1
#27
KarenLW
I live in Orange County.
The possum roadkill is f’n delish…..oh, don’t make me go there.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:08 am rating: 0
#28
Juliet
#25 – Nice one. I guess, like possums, rabbits, lizards, etc. that vagrants and skateboarders and thieves can’t read!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:13 am rating: 0
#29
lauralaiwc
the lack of a comma or some sort of punctuation after rabits bothers the crud out of me too.
“liZZards, and rabbits” would be grand.
this note does delight me though .and i love the brightly colored double layer of paper.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:14 am rating: 0
#30
WanderingPenguin
I think it’s punctuated perfectly, lauralai, but then the last time I opined that one of these notes was typographically sound it turned out I was completely wrong (crazy cat lady) so…what the hell do I know?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: 0
#31
Team Cassandra
Skateboarders, rabbits and rats! O my!
Skateboarders, rabbits and rats! O my!
I’m off to write a note now!
I’m a wonderful wizard of notes…
Because because because because because
Because that’s what a PA person does…
I’m off to write some notes now!
I’m a wonderful wizard of notes!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:25 am rating: 0
#32
WanderingPenguin
Thanks, Juliet. When I first looked at it I thought it was a door to a cafeteria or lunch room, but then I noticed the tip of the “strike-through line”. Weird…
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:25 am rating: 0
#33
Spiderflowers
I wonder if the note writer is speaking out of paranoia or past experience.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#34
Troy McClure
#7: Awesome!
#16 & #19: At my uni, there are rabbits roaming the campus. I don’t think they come inside, but it’s still very cute. Like Tellytubbies minus the creepy.
#20: Not fair! Only two errors, and if there’s anything frequenting this site should teach us all is to be satisfied, nay, impressed, with less. In comparison to most of the notes, this one should win composition awards.
This reminds me of a rather moronic thing at my work though. We’re in a newish building, maybe a year & a half old, & for the sake of the airconditioning we’re supposed to keep the door from the stairwell to the corridor closed. No one ever does, & I think a lot of the reason is that the sign telling us we’re supposed to is on the back of the door, & invisible when the door is open!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:36 am rating: 0
#35
WanderingPenguin
Here’s a thought: is it possible that there was nothing misspelled on that note and rather than being wild animals, “Rat”, “Lizzard” etc. are actually the surnames of some of the students who attend that college?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:37 am rating: 0
#36
claw71
We used to leave our dorm doors propped open so skanky local girls could get in. Who says you can’t find fresh crabs in Marietta, Ohio?
As for the burnt microwave ovens I would be inclined to think it was the vagrants trying to cook up a batch of o’possum.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#37
WanderingPenguin
Troy, I can’t imagine ever being “satisfied with less” if I am paying out of pocket for the “privilege”.
I loved the story of your work, though.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
#38
WanderingPenguin
Would that be Seamus O’Possum?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:40 am rating: 0
#39
Mitsu
Wandering Penguin: that could be true, I didn’t think of that, but wouldn’t some of the students be skateboarders? That’s what a lot of upper-middle class kids do!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: 0
#40
Mishee
wow, Team Cass took my comment and ran with it brilliantly… I feel even more special than when she noticed me on yesterday’s post! I’m movin’ up in the world! Thank YOU Terry!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: 0
#41
Andy
Well, you know that vagrants are always looking for somewhere to microwave their frozen pot pies. You know, the ones they take out of their freezer they carry on their backs.
Oh, OC, please keep the O and C in “Oh, you so crazy!”
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:44 am rating: 0
#42
claw71
To the tune of Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves…
I stayed in a dorm where the microwave burned
We were going to college but never could learn When the door was left open things came in
And forced them to raise our college tution
Vagrants, Rats and Thieves
With the skateboarders who lived in town
Lizards, Birds and Thieves
They’d sneak at at night when the possum came around
and burned the microwave down.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:51 am rating: +1
#43
WanderingPenguin
Mitsu, perhaps the students don’t skateboard “locally”.
Good lord. A Cher reference (#42). My day is complete.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#44
Huh?
If various rats, “possoms”, birds, “lizzards” and rabbits know how to turn the microwave on, they are likely sitting in on classes. Maybe admin could charge them tuition?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#45
Jon
o.O are they heating the school using microwave ovens? if so maybe that’s why the heating bills, and tuition, are so expensive…
Oct 18, 2007 at 12:33 pm rating: 0
#46
eric the beehivehairdresser
I enjoy the open door policy. When I’m skateboarding the college campus and feel that hunger inside I just whip out some hot pockets, place them in the microwave, and voila, snack.
btw, the rabbits stopped using the microwave months ago, they should be excluded from all future notes.
Oct 18, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#47
Saporro
At my college, each dorm ‘pod’ (as i call it) had its own laundry room and kitchen. each of the doors (including the dorm rooms) opened to the outside – thus why i never cooked in the kitchen, all the dirt, trash, vegrants, etc were in the kitchen.
Im still for Team ATFSCI , because mircowaves dont pay for themselves.
Oct 18, 2007 at 12:42 pm rating: 0
#48
Troy McClure
Mishee & TC, this got me out of bed again! Same movie:
Somewhere over the threshold
Right inside
There’s a room that I’ve heard of
Where I can heat my pie
Somewhere over the threshold
Rabbits pooh,
Bird eat ‘lizzards’ and rats,
And vagrants spew
One day I’ll pay a thousand bucks per week to go to school in California
I’d better learn to spell before I go coz what you don’t know already, they can’t learn ya
Somewhere over the threshold
Skateboards fly
Notes are smug and sarcastic
Thanks for your assistance, my eye!
Oct 18, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#49
Team Cassandra
Yay! We should mount it (way off-Broadway):
The Wizard of Notes!
The Passive-Aggressive Musical…
Starring:
Terry as the Wizard
Anthony Grosso as The Cowardly Lion
Jesus as The Tin Man
The Heisa Monster as The Scarecrow
and featuring…
Rene Hall as Dorothy!
I’m so excited!
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#50
Team Cassandra
Wait – who would be the Wicked Witch and Glenda?
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:03 pm rating: 0
#51
Canthz_B
The ACLU has filed suit on behalf of the wildlife’s right to equal access to the microwave oven.
They declined to represent the skateboarders.
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:05 pm rating: 0
#52
dawn
Bwahaha! Good job, claw #42 (I was just thinking of that song myself) and Troy #48! I heart PAN commenters.
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:09 pm rating: 0
#53
dawn
TC: Yolanda, aka Crazy Cat Lady, would of course be the Wicked Witch.
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:10 pm rating: 0
#54
Mishee
Glenda would probably be one of those drunk southern belles…
and eric, where did you get those Hot Pockets? Do you have a receipt? There have been a rash of Hot Pocket disappearances at offices around the globe…. you are now Suspect Number One!
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#55
zen velo
#8 T Bone, you left out the last step:
leave bagel in microwave, and blame it on a vagrant.
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#56
Mishee
Troy, your singing voice is just so beautiful! I remember hearing it before in such films as: “Muttonchops” (A one-man musical tribute to the great thinkers of the 19th Century.), “Trucks” (as Rod, the happy-go-lucky fire engine), and of course your theatrical performance in the Now Classic “Stop the Planet of the Apes : I Want To Get Off!”.
(God these posts are making my day – I just love getting to go through that list I have!!)
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#57
Mishee
“Locker Room Towel Fights : The Blinding of Larry Driscoll”
That one has had me chuckling since my crack up last night!! ROFLMAO!
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: 0
#58
mere
now THIS is truly a passive aggressive note!
riiiiight ON!
now, those skateboarding lizards are a problem…
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:50 pm rating: 0
#59
Chris
How many microwaves do you need? I think that is why tuition is going up – to many f-ing microwaves.
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:51 pm rating: 0
#60
carmelo-rules
maybe they should change the name from dorm to homeless shelter and wildlife refuge! or change it to a church, the hall of the eternal burning microwave!!!!!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:02 pm rating: 0
#61
GhostWriter
…just a quick note from Accounting, umm, …uh, the tuition coffers don’t actually fund the microwave replacement and/or the pest elimination line items…
Uh, that would be the property and/or activity fees, right Sal?
(Sal’s the Head Accountant)
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:28 pm rating: 0
#62
Fraulein N
Well, at least now we know what happens when you follow through on a threat to padlock the microwave. Someone’ll come along and burn that mother down.
And by “someone” I mean skateboarders, of course. Vagrants and wildlife would poop on it. Thieves would (duh) steal it. I think it’s obvious skateboarders are the arsonists here.
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:33 pm rating: 0
#63
Jesus Christ
#49 – Way off Broadway? Or way off-off-off-off Broadway? Count me in as long as I get to wear a brightly colored coat. I’m an attention whore
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:36 pm rating: 0
#64
claw71
To cut down on cooking time one should preheat the microwave oven.
That’s also why the Polish chef got fired.
But hey, the black chef tried to sell it in the back alley. The Puerto Rican chef kept reupholstering it with shag carpeting. The Italian chef wouldn’t use it because he thought it was tapped and the Mexican chef tried to smuggle his family over the border in it.
The Chinese chef got angry because he kept punching order numbers into it but nothing came out. I pless 73 but get no Kung Pao Chicken
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:36 pm rating: 0
#65
lauralaiwc
#30, i think there needs to at least be some sepperation between “rabbits “and “along”. and im pretty sure the thing about needing a coma aftr rabbits is correct as well.
this note give me a strange mental image, alice in wonderland-esque, of these wild forest creatures playing with the vagrants and skateboarders by burning the microwave.
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:40 pm rating: 0
#66
claw71
How do you tell the difference between vagrants, thieves, lizards, o’possum, rats, skateboarders and college students anyway?
I went to a good school and felt more comfortable around the people at the local plasma clinic than the freaks living in my dorm.
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:42 pm rating: 0
#67
claw71
Dude, would it be possible to heat a combustable liquid such as napalm to its flashpoint in a microwave?
This, ladies and gentlemen, might be the question that inspired the skaters to invade the dorm and set the microwave ablaze.
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:45 pm rating: +1
#68
claw71
Irony rears it’s delightful head…
I think it’s a sad state of affairs when a person obsessed with punctuation can’t even spell a simple word like separated. For god’s, sake Lauralai, it’s in the title.
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:48 pm rating: 0
#69
claw71
And just for giggles I abuse an apostrophe. The cycle never ends.
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:49 pm rating: 0
#70
Canthz_B
And the WASP chef just stood there waiting for someone else to prepare the meal.
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:02 pm rating: 0
#71
Mishee
#61 GW – Actually Microwave replacement would probably go under “Equipment Fees” and Pest Elimination would most likely be “Professsional Services” or possibly “Utilites”
(I am Accouts Payable at a Private College! LOL!)
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:03 pm rating: 0
#72
lola
A!nd a; com.ma,
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:04 pm rating: 0
#73
Mishee
oh shit, Utilities (don’t want to get jumped all over by everyone!)
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:09 pm rating: 0
#74
Canthz_B
Ba-Dump-Dum *rim-shot*
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:10 pm rating: 0
#75
WanderingPenguin
LOL – lola, you have GOT to stop beating me to my posts. That’s like the third time in the past couple of threads.
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:12 pm rating: 0
#76
WanderingPenguin
That’s ok, Mishee, you entirely missed the third s you put in “Professsional”.
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:13 pm rating: 0
#77
WanderingPenguin
Or the missing “n” in “accouts”.
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:14 pm rating: 0
#78
Canthz_B
Are “Utilites” a new maxipad?
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:15 pm rating: 0
#79
WanderingPenguin
Ew. Well, if they’re a maxipad the name probably wouldn’t end with “l-i-t-e-s”. Just a thought.
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:17 pm rating: 0
#80
Canthz_B
“Lights” would be TMI! LOL
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:20 pm rating: 0
#81
lola
I’ve never had so much fun reading poorly punctuated misspelled sentence fragments. Period.
(checking for errors… submit)
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:59 pm rating: 0
#82
Mitsu
Meow, this thread just keeps going on and on! I love how it started out as being about possums and lizards and rabbits, (oh my! ) and now it’s evolved into a thread about spetting and punctuation! lol!
Oct 18, 2007 at 4:10 pm rating: 0
#83
Mitsu
ahh!!! I mean spelling! Please don’t hurt me!
Oct 18, 2007 at 4:13 pm rating: 0
#84
Canthz_B
Sic ‘em!
LOL
Oct 18, 2007 at 4:20 pm rating: 0
#85
Canthz_B
True thought Mitsu, there is a hungry pack about. When the note has been sufficiently trashed we turn upon one another…I, for one, think it’s great!
Never lose the luv
Oct 18, 2007 at 4:23 pm rating: 0
#86
GhostWriter
“How do you tell the difference between vagrants, thieves, lizards, o’possum, rats, skateboarders and college students anyway?”
Each leaves a unique set of tracks and territorial markers. The mating territory of a local skateboarder, for example, can be identified by the burned microwaves along its perimeter.
On the other hand, the only non-mammalian entity in the list is the lowly cold-blooded “Lizard”.
The next clip demonstrates the fantastic Circle of Life, where a lizard is eaten by a rat, which is, in turn, eaten by an opossum, which is then cooked by a vagrant, who is then robbed by a thief, who finally meets his end when a skateboarder sets him and his microwave aflame.
When the skateboarder knocks himself out grinding down the Municipal Zoo hand railings, and falls into a nest of iguanas, the Circle begins anew.
Oct 18, 2007 at 5:00 pm rating: 0
#87
Mishee
Yes CB, it’s so “Lord of the Flies-esque” in here once the note has lost our attention and/or interest.
But remember Mitsu, memorable things from each post run over to the next ones and on and on! (Thank you, Terry!)
And as for the Third “S” in Professional – it was meant to be there… it’s superfluous (thank you m-w.com!)!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 5:02 pm rating: 0
#88
GhostWriter
Damn! I forgot about the college students…
Oct 18, 2007 at 5:02 pm rating: 0
#89
S.S.
I’ve always wondered why it’s so hard for people to close a door. Seriously, it takes 2 seconds, at the most.
Oct 18, 2007 at 5:48 pm rating: 0
#90
lauralaiwc
is this where i waste everyones time by pointing out the same sort of shit that EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE does for most of these stupid notes, only people decide to rear their claws about it when i happen to do it?
feck off :-p
and yes, closing a door is the most difficult task ever. especially when youre fending off rabid skateboarders.
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:11 pm rating: 0
#91
lauralaiwc
and i forgot to add, i guess i forgot the point of commenting was to discuss things. oops, my bad for using it for what its meant for. next time ill make sure to write a haiku or waste time writing lyrics about this stupid note because it makes me look intelligent and oh-so-insightful.
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:13 pm rating: 0
#92
Monica
I’ve heard that using 5 or more exclamation points indicates insanity.
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
#93
Mishee
lauralai you are awesome and I totally love everything you have to say about all the postings! And Monica, I think you are right!!!!!!!!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:32 pm rating: 0
#94
Canthz_B
Okay, breathe Lauralai.
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:36 pm rating: 0
#95
anna-banana
#42….cool redo on the lyrics, but I miss your sexual overtones!!!!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:36 pm rating: 0
#96
Canthz_B
Monica…Really?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:43 pm rating: 0
#97
Mishee
anna!!!!!!! I haven’t seen you in a while… did you get swept off in that HUGE storm we had? (weird, earlier the weather report had 55 degrees in the South, the East, AND SF – when does that happen?)
Oct 18, 2007 at 7:01 pm rating: 0
#98
Wade
lauralai
This is claw we are talking about – the one who enjoys burning posters almost as much as possums enjoy burning microwaves!
Team Pun;ctua’tion!?! We Don’t Ne’ed No Stink;ing Pu?nctu!ation!!!!!!!!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 7:03 pm rating: 0
#99
anna-banana
I did! But, I missed the Left Coast & now I’m back!
Oct 18, 2007 at 7:14 pm rating: 0
#100
Mishee
Of course you did, nobody can leave here and ever be truly happy living or being somewhere else! The Bay Area is like a DRUG!
Oct 18, 2007 at 7:43 pm rating: 0
#101
Troy McClure
Laura lai W C
We love you don’t you see
The time we waste tearing your spelling aparts
Is because you’re always in our hearts
Seriously, if we make this too much of a minefield, people will be too scared to post anything, & think of the laughs we’ll forego?
Oct 18, 2007 at 7:58 pm rating: 0
#102
anna-banana
It IS! That’s why I’m going to SF on Monday. Need my clam chowder in a sourdough breadbowl fix!
But, before I get yelled at for going off topic…..maybe I can see if SF also has rabbits on skateboards microwaving Hot Pockets who’re leaving doors open. If it’s real, then they’ll have one in SF!
Oct 18, 2007 at 7:59 pm rating: 0
#103
Troy McClure
The musical simply must go ahead darlings. Or at least the T-shirt of the musical … who’s poultry?
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:00 pm rating: 0
#104
Wade
I just noticed that the note says microwave ovens. How many of these ovens are the skateboarders burning? They make it sound like an appliance bonfire.
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:07 pm rating: 0
#105
Canthz_B
I’m convinced dammit. I’m moving out West to enjoy clam-chowder in sourdough, earthquakes, mudslides, volcanoes and wildfires!
Ah, Paradise!
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:10 pm rating: 0
#106
Wade
Don’t forget cold, clammy, foggy weather, lol.
But that’s in the Bay Area, where I used to live, not in the sunny O.C., where the note is from, lol.
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:14 pm rating: 0
#107
Canthz_B
Yeah, I’ve seen Giants games when the fog rolls in.
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: 0
#108
Canthz_B
Maybe the mid-west where I can savor a twister or the south-east where a nice hurricane may hit.
Perhaps the northern tier or New England with their God-awful winters?
No…it’s the Mid Atlantic region for me thanks.
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:27 pm rating: 0
#109
Wade
I second that, C-B!
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:30 pm rating: 0
#110
al
Was this sign at Vanguard University? Because I live right by there and totally need a place to skate over to and cook my hot pockets!
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:33 pm rating: 0
#111
Jesus Christ
Hugs, Lauralai
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:39 pm rating: 0
#112
Mishee
Earthquakes are worth the risk of living here… hell, yesterday was 18 year anniversary of Loma Prieta so it’s been 18 years since the last good shaker!!
anna, you are KILLING me mentioning a breadbowl!! If you aren’t IN San Francisco, then what city are you in?
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:03 pm rating: 0
#113
Mishee
#110 – as stated before, all Hot Pockets must be accompanied with Original store reciept to prove you bought it! Those are a “hot” item on the underground microwaving skater movement!
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
#114
lola
Mishee, I’m beginning to think you’re related to Whitman
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:53 pm rating: 0
#115
Team Cassandra
We represent The PA note gang
The PA note gang
The PA note gang!
We represent the PA note gang
AND….
We’d like to say those ruby shoes are fucking De-Li-Cious!
These could be the little kids with peanut shells and soil….
I can see it all now…
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:54 pm rating: 0
#116
the deuce
So you’re a child who isn’t responsible enough to close the door, and you like to piss off your roommate, so you can post his/her note online…why don’t you just…close the door…like…everyone else in the world does?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
#117
the deuce
Yeah, after reading a few more responses – you guys all need to get lives. Have fun though, really. I’m going to make it a point never to look at this site again.
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:07 pm rating: 0
#118
lola
deuce – as in “dropping a deuce” or taking a shit?
you will be missed greatly
hugs for Jesus
your departure was fucking delicious
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:10 pm rating: 0
#119
Mishee
wow, we got that one outta here pretty quick like!
don’t let the door hit you on the ass!Don’t forget to close the door! I’m sure it’s still open!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:11 pm rating: 0
#120
Mishee
and don’t forget to Thank Terry daily!!
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:11 pm rating: 0
#121
Canthz_B
Was that “The Dunce”?
Oct 18, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: 0
#122
ahmeen
I agree with # 13.
Now I bet you are going to scroll back up and check that.
Oct 19, 2007 at 12:14 am rating: 0
#123
Mishee
How right you are ahmeen… you know us so well! And yes, Wade is right. I work at a Private College right now… money money money!!
Oct 19, 2007 at 12:16 am rating: 0
#124
tweedle
lauralaiwc, I think claw’s bark is wore than his bite and that his intention in commenting on your punctuation comments was not to truly antagonize you, but to simply engage in a dialogue, for the fun of it. And yeah, because he can be a curmudgeon.
Godd (badass hair band name potential!?) knows I’m often wrong, but I do think you mistook the spirit of claw’s nagging.
Oct 19, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#125
Putz
They must have over looked the big dump I took in the hallway. Try nuking that.
Team Putz, I’m still allowed in… thank god.
Oct 19, 2007 at 12:36 am rating: 0
#126
Asifiwould
Holy crap – that sounds like something that happened to me when I was in college. I lived in a girls only dorm and one weekend this strange older guy with a german shepard walked to the second floor kitchen, placed something in the microwave, put in on for 20 minutes and left.. it was crazy and whatever it was melted and ruined the whole microwave.
Wow – maybe he moved to Cali?
Oct 19, 2007 at 12:47 am rating: 0
#127
sunlotus
Wow, it’s just so amazing that the rats, possoms, birds, liZZards, and rabbits can even USE the microwave – you’d thing they’d be able to overlook a little burning.
Oct 19, 2007 at 1:04 am rating: 0
#128
Canthz_B
This is an institution of higher learning. Of course the wildlife can nuke!
Oct 19, 2007 at 1:22 am rating: 0
#129
anglophile
OK, everybody raise your hand if you think The Deuce (I’m picturing a greased-back duck-tail and a leather jacket for some reason) is secretly checking the comments to see what we all make of his devastating condemnation of us all.
*waves at The Deuce*
Oct 19, 2007 at 5:23 am rating: 0
#130
Team Cassandra
Who?
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:03 am rating: 0
#131
GhostWriter
Hold On! We aren’t yet over the “everyone’s-out-to-get-me” conciliatory back-patting phase, are we?
I simply love any and all attacks, disses, rebuttals, scoffings, arguments, and general disparagements in response to any of my posts. I think it’s calculably 25-30% of the fun in posting. Remember that guy Oakely who freaked out about a month ago? I tried to coax him into the mix, but he never returned. And I think we are worse off for it.
Luckily, there is now “the deuce“. He can’t take too much of us, and has even threatened to leave. Your mission, if you choose to except it, it to cajole the deuce into our fold, utilizing commentary that demands his response.
On a wholly different note, I figured out over the evening that Mishee, (an admitted small-college accountant with a phobia of lizards and vagrants) is the cranky note writer!
Commenters Toolbox Tip: If you type or copy your comment into MS Word before submitting it, you can take advantage of the auto-spell-check feature.
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:06 am rating: 0
#132
Team Cassandra
Hey wait a second – I can’t ignore The Deuce!
Because #117 wins the Golden T in this one!
Brilliant.
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:08 am rating: 0
#133
Team Cassandra
(Ok GW but my research has shown me that the only real way to do it is like this):
the deuce SUCKS! he’s just an ASSHOLE who wishes he could come up with a PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE note that was funny enough to be accepted by our precious Terry. Or Kerri or whatever! He can’t even find spelling errors, or write murder mysteries or make lists! WE DON’T WANT YOU ANYWAY, LA DOUCHE!
so there.
(and I find it so hard to post like that without feeling like an ass, you know?)
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:19 am rating: 0
#134
GhostWriter
(64) claw71’s Kung Pao Chicken line has not gotten the accolades it deserves. It was swept under by the tide of punctuation angst.
However, If I could just tweak it a bit… Oriental accents do not replace “r’s” with “l’s” – it is only the reverse. I believe this myth was perpetuated by Weird Al’s movie, “VHF“.
Replacement script: “What da dee-oh heeah? I press Ereven but get no Kung Pao Chicken!” Stupid Generarr Errectric!
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:19 am rating: 0
#135
GhostWriter
Team Cass appears to be playing “Good Cop / Bad Cop” and I for one find it sexy. You know how we all feel about chicks with handcuffs.
Just don’t Tase me, Bro.
Well, OK, but not there…
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:26 am rating: 0
#136
Mitsu
I’m just waiting for another note to be posted…we’re all ready to rip it apart!
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:57 am rating: 0
#137
Troy McClure
GW & TC, please illuminate me. I have lost my bearings. Mishee has pissed everyone off by writing under a pseudonym … the Deuce? (You see how confused I am….)
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:08 am rating: 0
#138
Troy McClure
Also, GW, you’re kidding about the L & R thing, right? Chinese has no R, and Japanese has noel. (And for all I know there are other languages in Asia too.)
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:11 am rating: 0
#139
Troy McClure
Mitsu, nihonjin desuka? 3 what?
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:12 am rating: 0
#140
Troy McClure
Ah, I’ve just checked seen your latest blog entry. Yeah it hasn’t been PAN’s cordialest day. I think this thread’s title was prophetic! (Or “prophestic”; anyone with me??)
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:15 am rating: 0
#141
Troy McClure
Jeez what am I talking to myself? Everyone’s avoiding me ever since my PANgolin heresy!
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 0
#142
Troy McClure
Oh by the way, I played #48 to my girls tonight on guitar as they were going to sleep. It went over well. I think it’s ready for Broadway … but is Broadway ready for us??
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:18 am rating: 0
#143
Mitsu
Nihongo dekimasu! (I speak Japanese!) They’re right, there is no L in the japanese language.
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 0
#144
Mitsu
And my nickname means “honey” in Japanese. The # 3 is written “mittsu”
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#145
Troy McClure
Oh! Hi! Sorry, yeah, Japanese is one of those languages where I know just enough to embarrass myself a little. (Only in English can I thoroughly humiliate myself!) My brother hanasemasu though, if that means what I think it means. But maybe you’re in Canada? (There’s more on your blog than I’ve bothered to read so far, I have to admit.)
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: 0
#146
Mitsu
yes, I’m in Ottawa, Canada, hence the blog name. I’m not even Japanese, I’m east Indian. I just learned a bit of it while hanging around my Japanese friends… I only know a few little things, like how to order sushi
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:33 am rating: 0
#147
Troy McClure
Fair enough. I’m not Japanese either, nor Australian though I’m working in Sydney, nor anything else really anymore. At least, there’s no country I can go to where people don’t ask me where I’m from. Do you speak Marathi?
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:38 am rating: 0
#148
Mitsu
No, I speak English, French and some Japanese. That’s it. Working in Sydney, eh? May I ask what time is it there? Is it Saturday?
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#149
Troy McClure
It will be Saturday in a quarter of an hour. Early-to-mid Friday morning in Ottawa, I guess? I’m trying to picture where it is on the map, & I guess this is Brooklyn time. I haven’t been to Ottawa. My parents live in Maine, & the time before last I visited them we went on a day trip to Montreal. Well an overnight trip. But that’s all the Canada I’ve had (and I didn’t inhale). My concubine has a thing for Canada, & we talked about maybe going there, but now that we’ve moved internationally together with kids in tow once, we reckon it’s not a thing undertaken lightly. Once more at the most, we reckon, & not to a place we’re only guessing we’ll like.
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:48 am rating: 0
#150
Troy McClure
“…this is Brooklyn time…”, i.e., the time stamped on the posts.
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#151
claw71
East Indian? Is that Huron, Mohawk or Shawnee?
Japanese friends are rough. I lost a bet to one of mine and he wanted to hack off my pinky. That was awkward.
By the way, I’m really sorry Lauralai got bent out of shape over my assessment of her spelling. I just thought is was funny that she butchered a word that was in the heading of this post while she was carping about punctuation. It wasn’t personal and I’m not on patrol with the spelling police.
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:50 am rating: 0
#152
Mitsu
Yes, it is about 10am on Friday here, and you guessed it, I’m at work. Ottawa is a 2-hour drive west from Montreal, so next time you’re here, you should check it out! It’s funny how everyone goes to Montreal or Toronto, but they ignore us here in the capital. You’ll like it here in Canada, I’ve heard people say that it’s somewhat similar to Australia (but I’ve never been there, so I can’t comment on that). It’s a lot more liberal than the US, that’s for sure! Anyways, I have a meeting to go to shortly, so I’ll talk to you later.
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:55 am rating: 0
#153
Mitsu
claw: It’s actually Hindu. Those tribes that you referred to, are called “Natives” here
Oct 19, 2007 at 9:57 am rating: 0
#154
Troy McClure
Mitsu, good luck. Fuck I hope you have a better day at work than I did.
Claw, it does seem to be an inflated hazard in this type of setting, pissing people off unwittingly. Maybe some good comes of it somehow. (That was a pretty funny-looking word, anyway.)
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:02 am rating: 0
#155
lauralaiwc
#101, cute
and thats my point. i stick around because i like engaging in heated…whatevers these are, lol. not quite arguments, not really discussions either. but not everyone wants to hang around while the rest of the internet nerds pick on them
and since i cant be addressed directly, everyone else let claw know its ok :-p
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#156
Mishee
Mishee gave up posting under other names months ago. If you like what I say you like it, if you don’t you don’t.. no Troy, la deuce was just your run of the mill asstick (where has sair been?)… just make fun of him and then go on with life… they arrive and leave quite often…
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:09 am rating: 0
#157
Troy McClure
Hi Mishee! No I didn’t really think that was you. I’m pretty confused … but I guess you are too. What do you make of post #131?
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:12 am rating: 0
#158
WanderingPenguin
Mitsu, I was just reading some of your blog and one question leaps to mind:
How in the hell can you possibly think that Dalton McGuinty is “hot”???
Guess we should probably avoid any political discussions because your provincial and federal leanings are the polar opposites of mine.
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 0
#159
Troy McClure
Don’t worry Wand Peng, I prayed for purple, so soon I’ll be able to brainwash you & fix all your politics.
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#160
WanderingPenguin
Wow, I feel stupid, Troy: I don’t understand your reference.
“Prayed for purple”?
Also, I would like to make it clear that by “political leanings” I don’t mean who is “hot” in each party. Just to be sure we understand that.
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:35 am rating: 0
#161
Troy McClure
It takes two to tango WP. If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, the fault’s as much mine as yours! All I mean is that I had occasion recently to ask the Mighty PANgolin for colours. Once I’ve got a purple tag, I can master Yolanda’s art of dazzling you with dancing purple capitals; my flimsiest arguments will seem all sage and no turkey.
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:46 am rating: 0
#162
WanderingPenguin
Ohhhh…. you know what? I was going to ask you if you meant you had come up with a purple marker!
Guess I should have gone with my gut on that one…. LOL.
Oct 19, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: 0
#163
Mishee
Troy, #156 – I think that if I had been the note writer it would’ve been the most regaled note on this site since Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song) – which to this day is still The Best Posting on here!
Oct 19, 2007 at 2:57 pm rating: 0
#164
Aleks
I know someone has probably already mentioned this, but I have to say it: lions, tigers and bears! Oh, yeah, and microwave abusing skateboarders, too.
Oct 19, 2007 at 3:07 pm rating: 0
#165
megan
ok…i actually go to this small private school….and i noticed the sign… ironically, the door is NEVER LOCKED…so keeping it shut keeps all the vagrents, skateboarders…because they are too dumb to open a closed door??
of course–the possums are pretty nasty…i once had a possum burn a microwave once…
Oct 19, 2007 at 3:55 pm rating: 0
#166
Mishee
megan, were the possums fucking delicious?
Oct 19, 2007 at 3:56 pm rating: 0
#167
suhayla
PUNCTUATION is only an issue if you know what style guide the writer’s using!!!!!
Oct 19, 2007 at 10:05 pm rating: 0
#168
boggywoggy
LEAVE THE FRICKIN’ DOOR OPEN AND LIVEN UP THE PLACE, FOR GAWD’S SAKE!
Oct 19, 2007 at 11:52 pm rating: 0
#169
God
I am sorry for making Mishee. I thought putting her on this Earth would teach you all tolerance but I see that I made her entirely too annoying and that’s just far too much to ask of you. Jesus, I didn’t even make Rosie O’Donnell this annoying. Please forgive me. And give at church, I need some new golf clubs.
Oct 20, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: +1
#170
nka
Local skateboarders… like they are a threat to society. Skating is a crime you know; so is snowboarding.
Oct 21, 2007 at 2:23 am rating: 0
#171
WanderingPenguin
re: #167 –
What a load of crap. Punctuation is always an issue when it’s wrong. It has nothing to do with a “style guide”.
Period. Full stop.
Oct 22, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: 0
#172
raiseyourglass
WANTED:
Stolen Burnt up microwave oven.
Last seen in the company of skateboarding lizzards and vagrant possums. Also wanted for questioning birds,rats or rabbits.
If seen please contact campus security.
Oct 22, 2007 at 11:01 pm rating: 0
#173
boggywoggy
Dear God,
Thank you for trying to apologize for your mistake. We all understand that there are reasons for everything. Mishee is proof, reminding us to all practice tolerance…but to also grow strong enough to kick ass, once in awhile. Please, people, please stop having these stupid conversations with her. The fact that she writes, “____, you’re killing me!” is enough to make me barf on my keyboard. I try very, very hard to avoid her comments, but it’s tough to do when Mishee comments 40 times per submission! Geez…if I were her boss, I’d kick her ass right back to taking the frozen burger patties out of the walk-in…getting her away from the company computer.
Oct 23, 2007 at 9:38 pm rating: +1
#174
Troy McClure
Boggywoggy, you’re killing me!
Oct 23, 2007 at 10:13 pm rating: 0
#175
Mishee
OMG Boggy, you are just a riot!! LMAO!
Oct 24, 2007 at 12:01 am rating: 0
#176
Wade
I think we have found the source of the SoCal fires.
Oct 24, 2007 at 7:31 am rating: 0
#177
boggywoggy
OMG, Mishee,
You are so funny and so creative. I bet you have a high-paying job with lots of percs that allow you to spend your days on your little computer, reading PA Notes and pretending that you are friends with everyone here. Get real. Now, turn up the heat on the griddle. Some of the burgers are pink in the middle.
Oct 24, 2007 at 10:40 pm rating: 0
#178
Mishee
No Boggy only your burger is pink. I was hoping you would contract E-Coli or something. And that’s a special secret sauce, just for YOU!
Oct 24, 2007 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
#179
badfae
Perhaps the “added tuition fees” might be better spent on improving the college’s English program, hmmm…?
Dec 24, 2007 at 5:00 pm rating: 0
#180 if we give up our exclamation points, the terrorists win!!!
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Jan 31, 2008 at 9:57 pm rating: 0
#181
Skaterboarder
Ahh skateboarders, proudly annoying pedestrians (and burning microwaves) since 1972!!!
Feb 26, 2008 at 9:48 pm rating: 0
#182
Dixie
Well done!
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Jun 16, 2008 at 10:33 am rating: 0
#183
Troy
Good design!
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Jun 16, 2008 at 10:36 am rating: 0
#184
Stacie
its funny how skateboarders are filed along with thieves, vagrants, and local animals =D not cool.
Jun 12, 2009 at 8:02 pm rating: 0
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